To refuse to pay for School leaving party without seeing the quotes?

(359 Posts)
Sunnymeg Sun 17-Mar-13 08:57:43

DS leaves primary in July. Traditionally the leavers have a limousine to a nearby restaurant, a party there and the parents pick them up at the end. I know from other parents that in previous years this came to around £25 and I'm completely happy with that.
All the year 6 mums had a chat, about the leavers, do at the school gates and one of the parents offered to organize it. This is a parent who has had older children leave the primary and knows how it works. She said she would ring around, email everyone to let them know the costs and if everyone was happy she would book the limo and the restaurant.

Well, we have now heard from her, and she has already booked the limo, and also instead of a restaurant, she has booked a party session at a local play centre, as this is what her daughter wants to do and she thought it was a really good idea. She has asked for a £30 deposit and wants another £20 at the beginning of July. It costs children £12 for a day pass at this centre, and £8 for a birthday party so I can't see how her figures add up. I'm skipping over the fact that our DS doesn't really want to go to the play centre. as it is his last chance to do something with his classmates.

Am I being unreasonable to ask to see the quotes, I admit that I'm annoyed that she has booked the play centre off her own bat, is that clouding my judgment over the whole thing?

ImTooHecsyForYourParty Sun 17-Mar-13 09:03:10

I wouldn't ask her directly initially. I would contact the play centre and find out the prices, and the same for the limo company.

Only if the figures didn't add up, would I ask her about it.

I would, however, tell her that the agreement was that she would find out the information and get agreement before booking and that I was cross that she had booked everything without getting agreement.

Isityouorme Sun 17-Mar-13 09:03:56

This is for leaving primary school! FFS....bit OTT don't you think? Both are excessive IMO. I would not get involved in this.

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Sun 17-Mar-13 09:04:53

I would ask why it is double the usual cost

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Mar-13 09:06:18

When you are the party organiser, there is nothing worse than giving people a choice.

It is far easier to say "we are going here, it will cost x".

All the voting and to-ing and fro-ing makes organisation a night mare. Moany people who have absolutely no input make it a nightmare.

You have the option to go to this party or organise your own. Neither of which are organised by the school or PTA by the sounds of it. It's just a group of mums who want to mark an occasion.

Figures don't add up? Balloons, decorations, mementos like photos and year book, limos? got to be a limo or three etc - money pit.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Mar-13 09:07:13

Limo will be 20-30 a head depending on where you are in the country, and what you have in it.

shrimponastick Sun 17-Mar-13 09:10:29

I would want to know why it is assumed that to double theusual cost is okay?

Maybe ask in a lighthearted way how it comes to that sum?

And do a bit of phoning around to find out prices yourself.

I wouldn't pay that for end of primary. Sounds excessive.

MimiSunshine Sun 17-Mar-13 09:10:36

I wouldn't check up and then ask her, because if she can explain the cost what are you going to say, "we'll I've checked and I think you're lying"?
Just email back something short and breezy Like: Wow didn't realise the play centre had out their prices up, my niece (or random relation) had her party there a few months ago and it was about half that. Could you please email us all the break down of prices?

Asking for a break down is perfectly acceptable, I recently arranged my own birthday weekend away and I wouldn't have dreamt of asking my friends for money without detailing what the costs were and not because I'm worried they'd think I was swindling them just because that's normal behaviour.

cozietoesie Sun 17-Mar-13 09:10:38

Limos for Primary School kids ? Dear goodness.


IDontDoIroning Sun 17-Mar-13 09:12:28

You would NBU to ask why
A- it's twice the price of previous years
B- not what's usually booked ie play centre not restaurant
C- why she's booked and paid for it without consulting on the changes re A or B above.

It would seem to me she offered to organise it do she could make sure her dd got what she wanted and not what was usually arranged.

She's booked and paid for it to make sure her dd gets what she wants by relying on none of you challenging her.

Good luck I can't this ending well.

ScottyDoc Sun 17-Mar-13 09:13:01

Jesus Christ. Wtf? I have to ask what any sane parent is doing by forking out for limos when their PRIMARY child leaves school. Wasteful ridiculous OTT extravagance. This is the sort of treat for 16 year olds leaving school, not children.

The last day of primary school the teachers let us have a mahoosive water fight in the playground. 'twas fab and didn't cost a penny.
Ask if her deposit is refundable cos you're not willing to pay twice the price.

MidniteScribbler Sun 17-Mar-13 09:14:25

A limo for primary school??? WTAF???

SanityClause Sun 17-Mar-13 09:17:58

Well, perhaps you could let her know that it's a bit more than you were hoping to pay, or could afford. Are there other parents who would baulk at paying £50 for a leaving do? I know I would.

I wouldn't ask to see the quotes, as it seems rude. But as she has booked something different to what was originally discussed, and as she didn't email round to check, as she said she would, I do think you could speak to her about it, and perhaps offer to help book something less expensive.

FWIW, at the school DD1 and DD2 went to, the cost of the leaving party was about £15. This covered the hire of a nearby hall, with lots of outdoor space for playing rounders and running games; a children's entertainer (disco); party food and cake; and a tshirt each for them all to sign as a souvenir.

Lots of parents helped supervise the girls walking to the event, and helped with running games, serving food etc. This, of course, subsidised the cost, as a play centre would pay staff for equivalent supervision.

These events were lovely. Really fun children's parties, rather than the grown up "proms" that you hear about, so often.

Sugarice Sun 17-Mar-13 09:20:36

I'd be very miffed that she organised the play centre without getting an opinion from the other mums just because her dd liked it.

Ask her how she has worked her figures out, seems very expensive and you're well within your rights asking her.

lljkk Sun 17-Mar-13 09:22:03

Get a gang of other moms together to politely ask if she can explain the break down in costs, suggest you might be able to book it for less.

Limo would get laughed at around here.

Our y6 had a swimming pool party one year, which I thought was pretty profligate by local standards. Worked out at about £6/person with food.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Mar-13 09:22:21

Limos for 16yos are so passé now. It's all the primary rage. It's only 30 quid, makes them happy for that last evening before they are flung to the wind and go to different schools.

NinaNannar Sun 17-Mar-13 09:23:32

The whole thing sounds NAFF

Isityouorme Sun 17-Mar-13 09:28:45

Chav city!

simplesusan Sun 17-Mar-13 09:29:12

I think you are right to be annoyed by the fact that she has changed the event from a meal in a restaurant to a session in a play centre. I think she should have emailed everyone first to ask if this was ok.

As for the cost I think you can expect to pay more than last year, maybe an extra £10.

I think I would just ask the other mums what they think and go along with the majority.

Sorry I'm not more helpful!

I did think though that £25 for a meal, limo and night out sounded too hopeful.
It's my dds prom this year and the meal alone is £30, without the cost of the limo, so I suppose the cost she isd quoting sounds about right.

AThingInYourLife Sun 17-Mar-13 09:34:05

Aren't 11 year olds a bit big for play centres?

I thought I'd be done with the wretched places by then.

nkf Sun 17-Mar-13 09:38:08

Do 11 year olds want to go to play centres? I think she's booked something she shouldn't have booked. I think the limo stuff is silly. I think it's all a bit silly to be honest apart from maybe the restaurant. I can see why 11 year olds would find that thrillingly grown up. Don't they usually have a disco in the school hall?

nkf Sun 17-Mar-13 09:39:14

Actually, now I come to think of it, I think the school disco is organised by the school. The parents just do a big picnic in the park. Ball games etc. Really good fun.

Hissy Sun 17-Mar-13 09:42:03

Only one thing for it.
Move somewhere with some actual class...

Sugarice Sun 17-Mar-13 09:42:51

Get together with the other mums and see if their dc's want the play centre then organise the restaurant as planned previously if the children don't fancy it.

GrowSomeCress Sun 17-Mar-13 09:43:37

God, that is excessive. My sixth form ball cost less than that.

lljkk Sun 17-Mar-13 09:44:20

DD is a small y6 and too tall to enter our local softplay centre, now.
Skating maybe, most of them would enjoy a skating party. Could run that as a roller disco in high school hall for about £100 total with take-away pizzas, too.

ENormaSnob Sun 17-Mar-13 09:47:32

I would be very pissed of at the change of plan and expectation of cash despite no discussion beforehand hmm

The whole shebang changed on her dds say so hmm Dont think so.

letseatgrandma Sun 17-Mar-13 09:48:26

Our y6 children all get togged up and they have food/dancing in their best clothes on the school hall! If your kids are getting into a limo (nice and posh), one would assume they will be all dressed up as well? Hardly suitable attire for a play centre?

Yanbu- I would be cross as well.

What do the other mums say? Is this mum popular?

SkinnybitchWannabe Sun 17-Mar-13 09:48:33

I agree, sounds totally ott for that age.
A limo for leaving primary school? I heard it all now.
Why not have a party in the school hall and save everyone money?
Im glad my dss school doesnt do such ridiculous things!

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 09:56:23

I had a P7 class a couple of years ago and the school decided to put a blanket ban on any parties being picked up in limos at school at the end of the last day.

I cannot tell you the number of parents contacting me concerned/annoyed about a leavers party that was absolutely nothing to do with the school. Kids were being left out, parents were getting overly involved and emotional, the money being spent, the pressure on the kids (girls) to dress up like 18yos - it was ridiculous.

In the end, school had to issue a statement saying this party has nothing to do with us, no limos at school gate, no harrassing staff etc.

BonaDrag Sun 17-Mar-13 09:58:36

Limos... For leaving primary school?

We had a school disco in the gym... Times have changed since 1992..

SoggySummer Sun 17-Mar-13 10:00:38

Sod the cost being excessive - the whole event is. These are 11yos???

What the hell do these kids have to look forward to when they leave high school??

We are breeding a generation of kids that have had too much excess way too soon. No doubt these children will be dressed as mini adults for their limo ride!!! What will these kids be looking for to get their excitement at age 15/16???? A worrying thought!!!

Sorry off on a tangent there - just seems so wrong for kids so young.

I personally would not want my child to go but appreciate it would be hard to say no when the majority will be attending (assuming some families wont have been priced out of it).

I dont think the cost is excessive for what they are doing but excessive when a disco/party with age appropiate games and a buffet would finish off their primary school days just as well.

I would ask for a breakdown if that concerned for the price but like I have said - for what they are getting, it sounds about right. Reinforces the fact its all a bot OTT for kids so young.

simplesusan Sun 17-Mar-13 10:02:47

Lots of things have changed though.
Just look at all the wedding threads.
When I got married you wouldn't have dreamed of asking for cash as a gift-unthinkable. Never mind the hen/stag dos that now have to involve a mini trip abroad.

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 10:03:42

SkinnybitchWannabe there probably will be a disco in the hall or equivalent - really doubt event OP is discussing has anything to do with school.

Sunnymeg Sun 17-Mar-13 10:06:37

Thanks for all the replies so far. Personally I do think that limo's are a bit naff!! but it has been done at DS for years. It was done for the year 6's the year DS was in reception. All the school assembles on the playground and sings the school song as the Year 6's shake hands with the head and get in the limo.
It is helicopters for senior school!! I am not joking! The play centre has death slides etc so is OK for age group, although DS hasn't' been there for about three years. We are in tourist area and it is a local attraction.

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 10:07:03

Although there was that (channel 4?) programme about primary school leavers' proms which were organised by staff - totally absurd. What a waste of teachers' time!

Sunnymeg Sun 17-Mar-13 10:08:05

Oh and school is not involved in any of it.

GrowSomeCress Sun 17-Mar-13 10:08:26

And yeah, cost aside, I agree that the whole thing is just naff and stupid grin

DeepRedBetty Sun 17-Mar-13 10:11:36

Words are quite simply failing me!

INeedThatForkOff Sun 17-Mar-13 10:12:22

simplesusan and HollyBerryBush, you're making big assumptions about people's disposable income. Expect to pay £10 more for something that cost £25 last year: are you serious?

INeedThatForkOff Sun 17-Mar-13 10:15:25

I'm a secondary teacher and hate the extravagance of the leavers' prom for what is essentially a bad meal at the local football club. Looking back through rose tinted specs at our own tradition of taking ourselves up the park with a few bottles of cider and getting shitfaced (not advocating this, especially for for 11 year olds if course grin)

Startail Sun 17-Mar-13 10:17:29

DDs school have had limos in the past, DD2's class didn't they have got outrageously expensive.

Fakebook Sun 17-Mar-13 10:18:33

How tacky. My dd would have no part in that if it ever happened at our primary school (luckily it doesn't). I'd organise my own party without limos and fake eyelashes.

DeepRedBetty Sun 17-Mar-13 10:23:33

When ddtwins finished y6 the girl with an August birthday had a sleepover in their garden, I supplied one huge tent and the family supplied the other, for boys and girls. There was a trampoline and one of those massive circular temporary pools. Job done. Small school so only 15 children to be accommodated.

GetOrf Sun 17-Mar-13 10:34:48

Lots of outrage here for something (limos at a yr 6 prom) which has been going on for years, in areas both Chav and non. Dear me at all this pearl clutching on a Sunday morning.

The cost is very high and the change of plan annoying op, I would ask for a breakdown.

LadyWidmerpool Sun 17-Mar-13 10:36:10

How much are helicopters going to cost you when the time comes?

goldenlula Sun 17-Mar-13 11:07:48

Is it possible that they are hiring the whole play centre? We can hire our soft play areas for £250, then food on top ect. It is a lot of money for a year 6 leaving thing.

TheRealFellatio Sun 17-Mar-13 11:19:16

Traditionally the leavers have a limousine to a nearby restaurant,

Traditional my arse. How 'traditional' can this be, for children leaving primary school? shock

To be honest I don't see why the school can't just allow the PTA to put on a special school disco with some cheese sandwiches and a bowl of crisps. But since you ask, fifty quid does seem terribly excessive for going to a play centre.

I'm amazed that considering how hard up everyone is supposed to be at the moment, the majority are happy to fork out for limos for 11 year olds. The world has truly gorn a bit mad.

You'll be telling me the little girls wear prom dresses and get their nails done next.

TheRealFellatio Sun 17-Mar-13 11:21:05

Ha! I can see I am not alone!

TheRealFellatio Sun 17-Mar-13 11:23:28

Has it Getorf? I have three children who have all left primary school within the last 10 years and I've never seen extravagance to this degree. They had a leavers' party but it was pretty low key - no limos, no restaurants. One was in the garden of a pub in the middle of the afternoon, can't really remember what the others did, but nothing fancy.

diamondee Sun 17-Mar-13 11:25:22

The limo thing is done at dds school, I'm actually dreading it. It looks awful, it causes so many arguments and the unpopular parents (of which I am one) risk not being told the details so their dc miss out. I with our school would ban it.

diamondee Sun 17-Mar-13 11:25:41


DeskPlanner Sun 17-Mar-13 11:25:45

That is stupid money. Limos for 11 year olds ! shock

Floggingmolly Sun 17-Mar-13 11:26:11

Last year our Year 6's had a picnic at the park next door to the school, then ran amok with super soakers.
I'd put a limo for a primary leaving party on a level with the helicopters at First Communions brigade; new money chavs.
I'm in West London, btw, not somewhere out in the sticks and I've truly never encountered this.

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 11:26:45

Agree Fellatio - tradition! What bollocks!

It's not even tradition for secondary school leavers. In the USA maybe but not elsewhere.

SirBoobAlot Sun 17-Mar-13 11:31:07

How utterly ridiculous.

WorriedTeenMum Sun 17-Mar-13 11:32:15

I think that the people getting hot under the collar about whether this is appropriate/naff/not naff/whatever are missing the point that the OP wants help with:

- an event is being arranged for a group of children by one of the parents. That parent has taken it upon themselves to book something different and more expensive because that is what their own child wants.

Would the OP be unreasonable to ask this parent what the hell she thinks she is playing at why she is spending so much more than was expected for something completely different.

OP - YANBU to ask this parent who died and left her in charge why she has booked something different without consultation and why it is costing so much.

TheRealFellatio Sun 17-Mar-13 11:32:55

And as for senior proms, when my eldest son and his GF had their prom my DS wore a suit with a pair of Converse, she wore a lovely but simple, short cocktail gown and not a fake nail or a spray tan in sight, and I dropped them off in my own car ten minutes after everyone else had gone in, and they just sidled in unnoticed - which is the way they wanted it! I think they were both way to cool/cynical to even consider turning up in the manner of both ends of a pantomime horse on a carnival float!

My DS2 on the other hand would happily have let me remortgage the house to pay for a bespoke tuxedo and arrival in a helicopter of I'd suggested it.

However, he and his date also got 'chaffeur driven' courtesy of Fellatio Taxi Services, in an estate car, much to his disgust. grin

firesidechat Sun 17-Mar-13 11:33:39

Is this for real? Not really doubting it, but this kind of fuss over leaving primary school is something I've never come across before.

Think I must be getting to the "what is the world coming to" stage of life.

TheRealFellatio Sun 17-Mar-13 11:34:27

if I'd suggested it, not 'of'

Picturesinthefirelight Sun 17-Mar-13 11:37:14

Is making a mental note to plan something dd can't possibly get out of when she is in year 11 to avoid the ridiculous prom extravagance.

Dd leaves junior school this year. Don't think anything is planned other than a school leavers play. Prize giving is the day before school breaks up and they are presented with a book and a montage of them and now photos is played in a screen to "emotional music"

That's all.

TheRealFellatio Sun 17-Mar-13 11:40:21

Think I must be getting to the "what is the world coming to" stage of life.

you and me both firedside. grin

This is where I am glad to only have boys. I think generally speaking they are more laid back about this kind of thing and there is less pressure to conform to what 'everyone else's' parents are doing. Trying to reason with a little girl who thinks she really needs to swan around like Rihanna on the red carpet at the Grammys must be a nightmare.

The downside of only having boys is that I never did learn to get to grips with hair straighteners.

AllThatGlistens Sun 17-Mar-13 11:41:49

Oh dear god how tacky and just.. vulgar! All this pretension for 11 yo's? And helicopters for seniors?! Wow.

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 11:46:41

I think the helicopters thing was a joke! Please tell me it was a joke?

Seriously though, OP in answer to your question YANBU! Strap on a pair, and demand to know why it is costing so much and why the hell final amounts weren't checked with other parents before booking!

freddiefrog Sun 17-Mar-13 11:49:31

Would a bunch of 10/11 year olds really want to go to a play centre? I can't see something like that going down well with our year 6s

We have a special assembly in the afternoon of their last day, which then ends up as a picnic with parents on the school field after school

Then in the evening, the PTA organises a leavers disco in the school hall - one of the Dads is a DJ, and the PTA supplies drinks, crisps and icepops (I think we charge £1). They have a blast.

I'd want to know why she went ahead and booked something without checking with that everyone else wants to go to a play centre and that people are willing to pay double the normal costs.

Checking doesn't have to turn into a rigmarole. Send out a letter with 3 choices with costs, and the parents vote.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 11:54:11

Limo? Nice! Nothing like showing primary school kids the importance of feeling like a celebrity. No wonder we have so many kids aspiring to do nothing but be famous.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 11:54:45

My DS leaving year 6 in July I have booked a limo for him and seven friends [they have no idea] and paid for it myself............... when I told the parents what I would like to do they would not hear of me paying for it and we all paid £25 each.......... Then the limo will take them bowling another tenner..... then the limo will take them to the beach where we are having a barbecue with the childrens families.............

To the posters who said they have never heard of limos for leaving year 6, where do you live MARS?????

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 11:56:34

It really is just a bit off fun... nothing more nothing less.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 11:56:49

of fun... oops

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 11:58:52

I can tell you it wasn't fun for me as a teacher dealing with all that crap and it certainly wasn't fun for the poor souls who weren't invited to be in a limo gang.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 11:59:31

I have re read the thread and discos seem to be what most ''parents'' want.

My DS and his friends would hate that and would not go, lots want a disco cause its cheap.......

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 12:01:05

Mine will be fun.......... all children going are coming back to my house for snacks and the limo picking them up from there............ although they are unaware of it.

Other mums can get off their backsides and do something if they want.

Not my fault if they dont.

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 12:03:24

What if they can't afford comfy? Are you providing limos and entertainment for the whole class?

TheRealFellatio Sun 17-Mar-13 12:03:34

Well I meant it as a joke because I NEVER would suggest such a ridiculous thing even if I had more money than Beyonce and Jay-Z, but no, I'm quite sure that had my son been given the choice of a helicopter he would happily have let us go into debt to provide that for him. grin He's a right shallow Flash Harry (gawd knows where he gets it from - certainly not me or his dad) whereas my other two could not give a flying toss for such ostentatious nonsense.

(I am talking senior prom now though - not leaving primary school)

freddiefrog Sun 17-Mar-13 12:07:06

Isn't the point of these leavers things that the whole class do something together? A sort of last hurrah before they all go off to their secondary schools and the next chapter in their lives?

Our leavers always want to do something all together. 7 or 8 of them may go off and hire a limo and go bowling, but it's not really a leavers event.

A disco is popular because it's something cheap, caters to all budgets, is easy to organise and gets the whole class together for one last time.

Movingtimes Sun 17-Mar-13 12:07:30

The Y6's at our school have an extra half an hour all to themselves at the end of the normal end-of-year school disco. No limos, no dressing up like Rihanna, nothing like that at all. And we don't live on Mars.
I have to say though, as the mother of three girls, how very insulting it is to read smug, lazy stereotypes like the one on this thread about girls throwing tantrums if they don't get to dress up like Beyonce. None of my daughters, nor any of their friends remotely resemble this media-driven stereotype of 'femininity'. I don't indulge in stupid stereotypes about boys just because I don't happen to parent any myself and I'm surprised to find a poster I normally respect stooping to it.

JenaiMorris Sun 17-Mar-13 12:17:29

They had a disco at ds's school, with food and drinks brought in by parents. It was a couple of quid each I think to cover the t-shirts and the cheesy DJ.

It was great, but limos would have been fun too.

I have a feeling this woman is taking the piss, although it is also possible that you've misunderstood costs in previous years.

Sunnymeg Sun 17-Mar-13 12:21:10

OK, will admit the use of the word traditional was perhaps unwise, but it has been happening that way for at least seven years. The helicopter thing is not a joke, but it can't happen at DS secondary school, as it is in too built up an area. There are several huge farms that have helicopters near here and they offer to fly the children to their proms for the cost of the fuel and a donation to charity.

DS is going to a different school from the rest of his class, so it really will be the last time he sees most of them. I so want him to have a day to remember,

School do a special leavers day assembly in the morning, so he will be part of that no matter what happens in the afternoon. The Year 6's leave half an hour before the rest of the school, so they get a proper send off.

NinaNannar Sun 17-Mar-13 12:24:35

We had no party. And they lived

TheRealFellatio Sun 17-Mar-13 12:28:39

Moving if that was directed at me I was not for one moment suggesting that the girls would want to (or be allowed to dress in an overtly sexual way, or that they had any kind of warped ideals about 'femininity', although I'd be naive it I believed that were not the case for many 11 year old girls, sadly.)

I plucked Rihanna out of the ether because she is the biggest star around at the moment - not because I think 11 year olds want to go to their leavers' parties half I was mostly referring to the expectation of arriving in a limousine, like a film star or a princess, that's all. But actually, while your daughters may not be like this, I really do think there will be more pressure on the mothers of girls to go OTT on the outfits and the hair etc, so that they can look 'just right' and so they won't be ribbed by the Queen Bee girls for not making enough of an effort. Most of the boys I have known don't really care much at all at that age. It would be nice if the same could be said for most girls, but I don't think it can tbh.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 12:29:03

I arranged it last year the bill for each child was £35 [which I was willing to pay myself].

They had 12 months to save up all parents paid within a month.

No I have not included the whole class, my son does not play or socilise [sp?] with the whole class, I included his group of pals.

Other parents could do something if they wanted but some parents would rather other people do the running around and that is not my fault if their child misses out.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 12:29:44

I have never heard of Limos for primary and thankfully no senior group has hired a limo either where I live.
IMO Limos are a vile show of the worst parts of our society. Excess, greed, self indulgent, celebrity wanna be and so so tacky.

Quite often seen them in city centres when I'm out and about around the country though. They nearly are normally packed full of young girls hanging out of the windows drunk, screaming and swearing at the top of their lungs, dressed in not a lot of clothes, hair extensions, glitter and orange fake tans though. Classy!

jird Sun 17-Mar-13 12:31:43

fgs ott much tomatoes! i can see why kids like them for senior proms. they're just a bit of fun. makes me laugh a bit to see such hatred for a car.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 12:32:24

oh rotten, that did make me laugh...

Chill out its only a car.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 12:33:41

It's not the car and if you can't see that then that's up to you.

YouBrokeMySmoulder Sun 17-Mar-13 12:34:27

Comfy I have never heard of it and I live in South London!

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 12:35:54

So its the naked ladies hanging out of them.

Well you can rest assured that their will be no screaming naked ladies in out limo.... just 8 11 year olds having a laugh and talking about football and minecraft.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 12:36:40

Youbroke................. really I live in deepest darkest Devon and it is very common here.

Feenie Sun 17-Mar-13 12:37:36

Traditionally the leavers have a limousine to a nearby restaurant, a party there and the parents pick them up at the end.

Really? How utterly ridiculous.

What do they get at high school - private helicopter?

They are ELEVEN, ffs!

I'm 38 & have never been in a limo, what the hell? Hope you're nowhere near Brighton OP, I'd hate to be involved in something like this (although DS1 is only 3 so plenty of time to come up with something worse!)

fuzzpig Sun 17-Mar-13 12:38:47

I'd be very miffed that she organised the play centre without getting an opinion from the other mums just because her dd liked it.


And organising something at double the cost too.

SirBoobAlot Sun 17-Mar-13 12:39:51

We had fish and chips for our leavers do, whole of the year, with some footballs and hockey stuff out, plus being allowed to bring in scooters / skate boards / roller blades, for a few hours after school. Was lovely.

BoundandRebound Sun 17-Mar-13 12:40:20

I'd pretend I didn't realise she'd booked already and email everyone saying DS didn't like the idea of the playpen and warns the restaurant and you'd be happier keeping it within the proposed budget ,,what does everyone else think?

DumSpiroSpero Sun 17-Mar-13 12:40:49

This is for leaving primary school! FFS....bit OTT don't you think? Both are excessive IMO. I would not get involved in this.

^ This ^

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 12:43:31

I can remember this sort of thread last year and there will be one next year.

I just wanted something out of the ordinary for the kids so it was more of a memory for them. I am glad I live where I live and parents are up for a laugh and something a bit different.

Discos are happening at school every term where I am and DS never goes. A disco is not very exciting.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 12:44:33

dumspiro................ if everyone in your childs class was doing this would you still say 'no' ?

WorriedTeenMum Sun 17-Mar-13 12:45:29

Exactly fuzzpig

All the posters getting worked up about whether a limo is or isnt the appropriate are missing the point. You arent invited so stop worrying about it!

Is it okay for someone to arrange an agreed event for an agreed cost to go ahead and book something different for a double the cost?



rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 12:45:35

No Comfy please don't twist my words, obviously they won't be half naked. It's what the limo stands for. Extravagance, excess and celebrity culture and classless, possibly not the best option for our young girls.

I was telling you my experience of seeing groups of older girls in them who resort to appalling behaviour because they think they're a bit special and celebrity like when they're in one. Makes me feel slightly saddened when I see girls literally hanging our out the window half naked or see the limo's stop to let one of the girls out to puke whilst her friends laugh. They are showy and tacky IMO.

freddiefrog Sun 17-Mar-13 12:46:23

There are a lot of limos round here - DD1's friend hired one for her 11th birthday to take them to the Pizza Hut. It was pink, and they filled it with balloons, and they drank pink lemonade out of champagne flutes. They had a blast in it and loved every minute. Not something I'd hire, but it's just a bit of fun, and if friend's parents were willing to pay for it, it's entirely their choice.

But for a prom for Year 6 leavers? None of our local primaries have that kind of event. Last year was the first year that our local secondary had a prom type of thing and there were a few limos floating around, although my friend's son managed to convince his friends to push him to their prom in a shopping trolley

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 12:48:02

Extravagance, it was only £25 each.

You cannot really compare your experience with a group of 11 year olds, can you?

ShellyBoobs Sun 17-Mar-13 12:48:23

I'm staggered. Utterly staggered by this thread.

Seriously, chavousines limousines for primary children?


None of this went on at DD's primary leaving and believe me, I would not have got involved in such ostentatious naff'ness.

Where on earth has the idea of having bloody limousines come from? It can only be competive parents, not the kids.

If you said to an 11yo, "you can spend £30 on something frivolous, what would you like?", I can guarantee a bloody limousine ride wouldn't be the answer.


Rainbowinthesky Sun 17-Mar-13 12:49:39

It makes my teeth itch to read about 11 year olds leaving Primary in a limo. I really hope dd's school doesn't do this as there is no way I will agree. Who on earth thinks this is a good idea for 11 year olds???

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 12:50:03

Oh dear I am bowing out here.

Some people think its fun, others have other ideas.

Tune in next year when the same type of thread will appear.

Feenie Sun 17-Mar-13 12:50:04

Extravagance, it was only £25 each.

You clearly have a different definition of 'only' to most other people.

ShellyBoobs Sun 17-Mar-13 12:51:02

I am glad I live where I live and parents are up for a laugh and something a bit different.

Do they all drag their sofas into the front garden when it's warm, too?

Groovee Sun 17-Mar-13 12:55:12

Our School had a Qually, which is what I had in P7. It's a Ceilidh and normally they arrive 30 mins before and then at the end a disco is put on next door.

The limo cost us £30 per girl. The boys had hummers. Then the disco cost £5.

I would have forfeited the limo but you don't want your child to be the odd one out.

soverylucky Sun 17-Mar-13 12:57:30

What about a barbeque in the school field? Or how about they get pizzas delivered to class and get the afternoons of lessons? They would be memorable without all the extravagance of limos etc.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 12:59:24

You are totally missing my point, I am not saying it's expensive for YOU I am saying they are a overt show of extravagance.

I remember when they were first imported from USA back in the late 80's. They were originally used as marketing strategy sit outside a few hotels/restaurants to make people think there was someone famous in there. They literally turned heads for the sheer size them and were a talking point when they drove around. My point is they were imported to look extravagant and show excess back in the day when overt showing of wealth was considered a cool, along with bankers talking about money loudly all the time.

Many people have moved on from that mind set now and the only ones you'll see roaming in UK cities are as I described earlier.

In answer to the OP I would be open and honest and say you would have liked a consensus.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 13:00:54

barbecue get done two or three times a year at sons school.

Pizza, not very exciting.

£25 is not a lot of money they had a year to save up for it.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 13:01:09

Sorry I was bowing out... lol

Toasttoppers Sun 17-Mar-13 13:01:15

On the last day of primary school my friend invited a few dc to hers for trampolining and pizza, she gave me a cup of tea as well.

I would refuse to have anything to do with such an event.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 13:03:05

rotton... sorry i just dont get it....... it is a car and the kids will love it.

The kids will love it so I booked it, its all about the kids to me not what I think.

Sorry bowed out now and forever.

Feenie Sun 17-Mar-13 13:03:28

£25 is not a lot of money they had a year to save up for it.

£25 is a huge amount of money to some people, and it certainly isn't the insignificant sum you are making it out to be!

Sunnymeg Sun 17-Mar-13 13:04:28

Personally if I was organising the leaving do, I would have done something completely different, but the majority of the mothers decided they wanted to go with the limo and meal idea and I have chosen to go along with that. It is a small year 6 with only 13 children, so they will all fit in the limo. It seats up to 16.

My issue is about the change of plans and increased cost.

Rainbowinthesky Sun 17-Mar-13 13:05:39

That's even worse that the girls get the limos and boys go in hummers. What parents agree to this?

soverylucky Sun 17-Mar-13 13:06:49

£25 - we have got threads on here about kids eating weetabix with water and no heating. For me £25 is not very much but that isn't the point. It is about thinking of everyone but more importantly in my book it is about an appropriate amount to the event in question. If they are never going to see this children again then they can't be that good friends. When I left primary and we all went to different secondary schools there were some I kept in touch with and some I didn't. I think £25 per head for children leaving primary school is indulgent and excessive and the fact that you are saying that your kids would not be excited by the cheaper alternatives mentioned strikes me that someone is more than a little bit spoilt!

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 13:07:27

How can you not see that a limousine and fake pink champagne is a show of extravagance? I can understand that you think it's fine and just a bit of fun even if I disagree but surely it is blatantly obvious that limousines are a show of extravagance. That's the whole point isn't otherwise they'd be happy in an old bus!

Rainbowinthesky Sun 17-Mar-13 13:09:59

They are 11. Limos and the like are for adults. What message are we sending ot our dds when the boys go in hummers and they go in limos?

ShellyBoobs Sun 17-Mar-13 13:15:12

£25 - we have got threads on here about kids eating weetabix with water and no heating. For me £25 is not very much but that isn't the point.


Comfy, you don't seem to be able to see that to some parents, saving up £25 for a fucking limousine ride is an unaffordable, maybe even impossible, extravagance and is totally unnecessary for young children.

INeverSaidThat Sun 17-Mar-13 13:16:59

How about sending a message saying that you hadn't planned or wanted to spend that much and were wandering what the extra costs were. I would also mention that you were expecting her to get back to you before booking anything as that was what she had said she would do. I would do this sooner rather than later.
There is no need to be rude to her about it but you should definitely mention it. She has been totally out of order.

I'm stunned that all that is booked for ten yr olds. What's wrong with a fun day at a hook, a film, a sports day, an activity day that can be done free in class or even a mini party. Everyone brings in something for a doe isl picnic . Y on earth does a limo need to be boomed its madness. Half will be ill, someone will throw up in the limo etc . Way way way to ott

At school not hook. Damn typo

JenaiMorris Sun 17-Mar-13 13:24:29

It's a shame to not have a whole class event. I can imagine who would be invited and who wouldn't. It's mean and defeats the object.

I have lovely photos of all 31 of them having group hugs and dancing to 'I've Had The Time of My Life' (I said the DJ was cheesy!). There were tears and it was mawkish but it was cute, too.

freddiefrog Sun 17-Mar-13 13:34:03

It's a shame to not have a whole class event. I can imagine who would be invited and who wouldn't. It's mean and defeats the object.

Yes, I agree. Our leavers just want something they can all do together, one last time as a whole class. Isn't that the whole point?

If you're going for a picnic at the beach, why not forego the limo and invite the whole class, take footballs, job done. Our local beach lets you light bonfires and have BBQs, take some music and make an evening of it.

We have a picnic in the afternoon with a disco in the evening, yes, it's not very exciting, but it's cheap and cheerful, the whole class are together. My eldest is leaving this year, but I've helped at the last couple of leavers discos, there's a lot of hugging, dancing together and some tears.

pouffepants Sun 17-Mar-13 13:34:45

Comfy, why are you so sure it will be a big excitement for them? Surely you're projecting what you find a treat onto young children.

If dd was offered a trip in a limo, I reckon she'd go but would be kind of 'OK so it's a big car', but the idea of a whole class water fight would send her through the roof with excitement.

I've just asked ds what he did since I can't remember, and he said a school pool party which he got in loads of trouble for trying to trip the teacher into the pool. First I've heard about it!

GrowSomeCress Sun 17-Mar-13 13:43:43

pouffepants I agree, I think at 11 I would have found the whole limo thing a bit weird!

DumSpiroSpero Sun 17-Mar-13 13:51:27

dumspiro................ if everyone in your childs class was doing this would you still say 'no' ?

I wouldn't definitely say 'yes'.

Tbh it's highly unlikely it would happen at DD's school - we have a very mixed demographic and lots of families simply wouldn't be able to do it so lots of children would get left out. I certainly can't imagine our Head encouraging full on, expensive end of primary celebrations - she & the PTA would probably go out of their way to organise something that everyone could join in with at school.

From a personal POV, I wouldn't bank on my DD wanting to go on something like that with her whole class either. She would probably prefer to do something with 6-10 close friends, which I'd be more than happy to support providing it was sensible and within a reasonable budget.

If they are getting restaurants and limos at 11yo, what the hell are they going to have to look forward to in their teens, never mind their expectations - chartered yacht with a live performance by The Wanted and food by Heston Blumenthal for high school prom anyone?

No thanks.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:08:33

I think I know my son and his pals well enough to know what they would like hmm

I agree it is not for everybody but then neither is a disco or pizza or anything else that has been mentioned.

I [ and the other mums] have agreed on this idea for our children as we know they would enjoy it.

Simple really, if your child would like a disco, have a disco.

We are all different.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:09:43

Hiring The Wanted sounds like a great idea, I will look into it.

GrowSomeCress Sun 17-Mar-13 14:11:56

comfysofas I have a feeling that the only way an 11 year old would really want a limo is if their parents instilled in them the idea that it was really cool wink

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 14:12:35

How can you not see that a limousine and fake pink champagne is a show of extravagance? I can understand that you think it's fine and just a bit of fun even if I disagree but surely it is blatantly obvious that limousines are a show of extravagance. That's the whole point isn't otherwise they'd be happy in an old bus!

IloveJudgeJudy Sun 17-Mar-13 14:13:52

At my DC's school they had the school play, done by Y6, then the PTA paid for a disco afterwards, the parents provided the food/drink, PTA paid for a glass of wine for parents, the teachers served the food and then mingled. It was lovely, as the whole class celebrated together. I really don't like the idea of things arranged that not everyone can attend, for whatever reason.

morethanpotatoprints Sun 17-Mar-13 14:14:23

I haven't read all the thread but has anybody asked what the school are doing.
All of my dc on leaving primary had events run by the school.
They all had a leaving party, hired a DJ and had loads of fun. It only cost a few pound no more.
Why would you need limo and play centre? I can see the restaurant or a Pizza hut might be a good idea.
I know several schools round here do a Frankie and Bennys trip. They usually do a good deal and 3 courses for a tenner.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:16:41

Yes but I couldnt hire a bus anywhere........

and there wont be fake champange.

I just needed a big car that I could get 10 or so kids in........

I dont see it as extravagant as it was only £25 the aston martins were extravagant I WOULD OF HAD TO PAY £2000 deposit for the insurance [returnable if no accident].

So £25 was peanuts.....

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:17:23

Our school does stuff in the last week but not on the last day.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 14:18:58

I am NOT saying the cost is extravagant. I have said this three time now, I am saying it is an overt SHOW of extravagance.

Welovegrapes Sun 17-Mar-13 14:20:24

Sounds grim tbh

nkf Sun 17-Mar-13 14:22:13

The naffness or otherwise of limos is not the point. If you take on the job of organising a limo and restaurant trip for £x, you don't go ahead and book something quite different for more. Not without consulting people.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:27:43

And I cannot see how it is extravagant if it only cost £25............

and I have said this several times.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 14:28:19

Can I ask exactly what the 11 year old kids will find 'fun' about travelling in a limo, that they wouldn't have in a people carrier or bus?

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:28:22

Also back on track agree with NKF.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:30:28


and I could not get a bus to hire.

The fun would be they have never been in one but always had a desire too.

mrsbungle Sun 17-Mar-13 14:31:53


I am genuinely astounded. I must live on Mars. I have never heard of limo's and hummers for kids leaving PRIMARY school - aged 10 and 11?

Good god.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 14:32:08


Please someone help me pout here.

Comfy it's not what you are paying for it, it's the fact that limousines are a SHOW of extravagance. They stand for a show of wealth, they are not made with comfort or safety or smooth ride in mind, in fact quite the reverse. They are built as showy, 'look at me' cars.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:32:43

Can I ask what is fun about a disco, they have them every year. Or pizza?

I just wanted to do something different, that they have never done before but would like too.

I am sorry to offend.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:34:07

Maybe is it extravagance where you live for leaving primary not where I live.

That is the difference I am in deep dark Devon and its just a laugh.

Nothing more nothing less.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 14:37:37

No No No Comfy, how can you not understand what I am saying?

It is not an extravagant cost at all for where I live. It's is however, an overt show of extravagance. There is a difference.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:37:57

Truly out now and just going to giggle at your answers.

mum382013 Sun 17-Mar-13 14:38:19

Another parent from Mars here. Never heard of it. high school yes but primary? and yanbu to ask for costs. i would say no costs no paying. and i would get upset about changing the venue too.
i didnt even do limo for my eldest at yr11.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:39:11

'' It's is however, an overt show of extravagance''

So what?


do not reply do not reply.

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 14:39:23

I'm hearing you rotten!

Forget about the cost for a moment - what do limos stand for? Unecessary showing off. What are we bringing up our children to be like if this is what is deemed aspirational? That is acceptable to show off and exclude people?

cress has it one - children, yes CHILDREN, would only want to ride in a limo if it was instilled into them as cool.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:42:17

[ik-strav-uh-guhns] Show IPA

excessive or unnecessary expenditure or outlay of money.

£25 not extravagant.

Gosh you are a boring bunch of old farts.............

and I cant stop replying you are all [some] so funny with your frowns.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:43:00

My son is 11, he knows what he thinks is cool on his own............

Roseformeplease Sun 17-Mar-13 14:43:08

Mars calling here.....ours just have a leaving assembly and say goodbye. That said, they all go on to the same school, see each other all the time and live a long, long way from limos. Anyone organising something can't just rack up the costs and not expect to be questioned.

JenaiMorris Sun 17-Mar-13 14:43:27

Yy, so what if it's an over show of extravagance (usual affordability and inclusion caveats apply).

Leaving primary is a bigger right of passage than some people appreciate, I think.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 14:49:06

I give up Comfy!!

Your absolutely right hmm
A Limo has always been known as that very affordable non luxurious transport!!!

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 14:49:42

comfy your post with the definition has just obliterated your argument!

Note the unnecessay part!

And as for boring, I do hope your son and his mates don't find the excitement of being driven about their home town/village/city in a big car whilst they "chat about football" all too much!

So if someone's got twins in the class..... That's alot to fork out. God what happened to signing shirts and a school disco

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 14:52:01

I wouldn't call myself a boring old fart Comfy but thanks for that.

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 17-Mar-13 14:52:08


Limos are no longer concidered by most people who have cause to use them as a show of extravagance because they are now much cheaper and no longer exclusive to the mega rich. Same as going abroad on an aeroplane.

Nobody sees them drive past and thinks "ohhh I wonder which celeb is in there" anymore because they are now usually full of teenagers or stag/hen parties.

JenaiMorris Sun 17-Mar-13 14:52:13

Of course I meant rite - whatever.

What's wrong with 'luxurious' though?

Feenie Sun 17-Mar-13 14:53:28

Nobody sees them drive past and thinks "ohhh I wonder which celeb is in there" anymore because they are now usually full of teenagers or stag/hen parties.

Yep. And as such beyond tacky.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:54:15

It is necessary though to celebrate leaving primary school.

Surely we can agree on that?

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 14:55:08

MY limo has disco lights............... cany get more tacky than that.....

They will love it.

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 14:58:10

You're just playing with us now aren't you comfy?!!! wink

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 17-Mar-13 14:58:15

So what if they are tacky,who actually cares about something being tacky unless someone else is trying to force you to be involved with it.

If a bunch of 11 year olds want to do something and there parents are happy to fund it why does anybody else care if someone else thinks its tacky.

Viviennemary Sun 17-Mar-13 15:00:13

I think it's total madness to have this kind of fuss for leaving primary school. And a play centre for a primary school is a bit silly as well. But on the other hand if there weren't people like this Mum nothing probably would get done. So I don't think I'd be too critical since she offered.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 15:00:40

I understand that. But as one of the posters said "they had all year to save the £25 for the Limo!!"

I am sure if people needed to save a year to get to £25 a limo would be seen as extravagant!

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 15:01:23

No disco lights and a sound system.

Rainbowinthesky Sun 17-Mar-13 15:01:41

I guess these are the same kids who think they are going to win the X factor.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 15:03:50


IneedAsockamnesty Sun 17-Mar-13 15:07:04

Having a years notice and it taking a year to do, are very different things.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 15:09:57

"£25 is not a lot of money they had a year to save up for it."

This what Comfy wrote! I am only quoting!

MeAndMySpoon Sun 17-Mar-13 15:21:49

sad They're children. At 11, many of them are pre-pubescent children. Why this bloody culture of treating children like adults? Limos are tacky for adults. It's a crass, cheap (well, not literally at £30 per head!), unimaginative and unnecessary way of 'celebrating' them leaving school. At 11.

Sorry, I just can't get my head round this. Why the FECK do 11 yos need to have a phony rite of passage when they leave primary school, ffs? hmm

My DS (then 10) was invited to one of his friend's parties which involved a trip in a limo and a meal out at a restaurant. They were all tremendously excited and impressed by the limo I have to say ! (But I think friends Dad may have been the driver ?) In some ways I think if you're going to go on a limo trip then 10/11 years old is quite a good age for it ! Mind you I enjoyed my first limo trip around London one night - just before I left England for a year to live in Japan - so was much older than DS but still impressed and excited smile
My DS is in Y6 this year, so just wondering what we could do ? Pool party sounds perfect to me - I know local pool does parties with lots of floats etc. which I'm sure could be fun smile

SanityClause Sun 17-Mar-13 15:31:58

More than 10 years ago, we used to take our staff up to town in a limo for the works Xmas do. It was done in a bit of a "post-ironic" way, even then.

Actually, thinking about it, DH and I were married in Las Vegas 14 years ago. Going to the chapel in a limo was part of the tackiness of the whole thing, which is why we chose Las Vegas as a fun wedding destination, in the first place.

Limos are naff, but fun. I would be amazed if even 10 and 11 year olds thought otherwise.

Sugarice Sun 17-Mar-13 15:47:34

Sunny, are you going to take this to the other Parents and see what their thoughts are?

lljkk Sun 17-Mar-13 15:49:57

Deprived we are, 47 yrs of adulthood between us, DH & I have never ridden in a limo. Maybe it's because no one booked it when we were 10-11. (sob) wink

I have no idea what DD's school is doing for end of y6.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Mar-13 15:54:01

Well DS2 (16) had a limo when leaving primary - not sure what that was all about really - it was only for the boys going to one particular school - and I was very hmm about that - there was no prom as such, it hadn't caught on 6 years ago. 28 quid for that limo.

When DS3 (12) left primary last year it was the whole frigging prom caboodle - but only 2 boys wore a tux and only one of the girls dressed as a mini-hooker complete with false eye lashes and spray tan (how the hell she accomplished that in an hour between leaving school and returning for the limo is beyond me - teenage sister I suppose!). It was only 40 quid, all in, limo, venue and leavers gift

Neither DS1 nor DS2 bothered with the Y11 prom on the grounds it was utterly 'gay' - Y11 proms don't tend to happen round here any more .

One of DS1s mates had a limo blocking the bloody street for her 11th, 12th, 13th and 14th birthdays - but she is a thoroughly indulged and spoilt grandchild - the most amusing thing I found is the damned things can't really go anywhere because of the prohibitive cost of diesel, so they just drank pop and ate them selves stupid on muck and went past the local park to wave at people hmm.

Y13 are much better, they organise them selves into groups for a meal out.

As I say, Y11 proms have fallen by the wayside round here. Perhaps it is seen as extravagance, perhaps it's a sign of austerity , perhaps it's apathy. it's very difficult to rustle up 100 Y7 and Y8 kids at the end of term for an onsite fund raising disco. TBH at 11/12/13 and at secondary, they are just past all that these days. A sign of the times I suppose.

Last Y11 prom I got co-opted into going to, I spent running round cutting up food - 16yo's couldn't use a knife. I was shocked at that - they are never given 'meat' at home, not proper meat, they couldn't cope with steak and the girls were crying if there was a bit of juice. All food is finger or soft or fork-stab-able hmm the chicken nugget and burger generation.

Feenie Sun 17-Mar-13 15:58:47

Neither DS1 nor DS2 bothered with the Y11 prom on the grounds it was utterly 'gay'

Please tell me you do not condone your DSs using homophobic language like this?

Lovelygoldboots Sun 17-Mar-13 16:24:10

The trouble with these leaving dos is it already firmly divides the haves and have nots. I would struggle to find £50 spare for such an event. My year 4 is not going on the residential trip as I didn't have enough for the deposit. Some months are easier than others.

I just think that if parents think celebrating end of primary school is so important then it should be an inclusive celebration. Discos at school are not naff for eleven year olds.

GreenShadow Sun 17-Mar-13 16:30:08


WE had parent's query the cost when we organised a £5/head leaving party at the local village hall!

£50 is horrendous and in this day and age, totally unacceptable in my opinion.

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 16:36:05

Lovelygoldboots - I just think that if parents think celebrating end of primary school is so important then it should be an inclusive celebration. Discos at school are not naff for eleven year olds.

Absolutely spot on.

YY - very much agree with recent posters, really important to be inclusive for an end of year leaver's party which people are asked to pay for. I think a disco at school or possibly the pool party I was wondering about could be good options ?
I'd hate to see anyone excluded from something like this that they might really want to do at that age.

JenaiMorris Sun 17-Mar-13 17:10:22

It is significant and it must be inclusive, otherwise it's missing the point. Friendship groups can do other things beyond the main event, on a different day, but it's important to have a whole class something or other.

nkf Sun 17-Mar-13 17:50:04

Anyway, it is totally reasonable to ask why the play centre is now the venue? And basically, why have all the plans changed? I don't know if I would bother asking the mother parents.

I've forgotten the difference in price. Is it huge?

nkf Sun 17-Mar-13 17:50:30

The other parents. I cannot type today.

Sunnymeg Sun 17-Mar-13 17:55:36

Thanks again for all the comments. I am going to email her and ask why the change of plan and say that I wasn't expecting it to cost anything like £50. I will wait and see what her reply is before approaching the other Mums. I have also been looking on the net at prices for alternative venues, which I can then mention, depending on how it goes.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 18:07:46

Discos at school are not naff for eleven year olds.

And that is your opinion.

discos are naff within DS's circle.

Which proves we are all different.

Why does it have to include the whole year? There are 60 in DS's year, he does not play with all of them.

Sunnymeg Sun 17-Mar-13 18:15:57

The plot thickens, just had a text from another Year 6 mum asking if I knew about the change of venue. The text says the play centre is owned by a relative of the mother who is organizing.

BatmanLovesVodkaAndCherryade Sun 17-Mar-13 18:25:57

Blimey - that's a bit suspicious...

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 18:26:04

Good idea to wait for the reply of your e mail.

And mmmmmm a relative eh?

Lovelygoldboots Sun 17-Mar-13 18:26:25

comfy sofas it is my opinion and experience. I work in primary schools. You may think you are being genorous in paying for a limo. It is entirely up to you but you have decided that is want you want for your sons peer group. A disco will seem naff I guess in comparison as you have the finances to offer something much more lavish. Your sons peer group will clearly not now be interested in a school disco. And that is fine. For you.

mum11970 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:30:28

My dd left primary last July and there is no way I would have paid £50 for any do. If you speak to the other mums you'll probably find out hardly any of them will be happy about forking out £50.

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 18:31:33

Seriously comfy do you not feel for the unpopular or shy children or children from less well off families who would be excluded?

OP very strange! I think someone needs to have a wird with organising mum!

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Sun 17-Mar-13 18:35:05

In that case it should be cheaper

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 18:38:24


The school will be arranging some stuff for the leavers during the week.

On the last day they leave the school at 3.15 and ds and his pals will hang about and have photos taken etc.

Then ds and his friends will come to my house for a snack and change with their parents and the car will arrive about 4.30 to pick them up.

None of the children will know until the car arrives and all the other children will never know.

If another parent would like to arrange something I would of been delighted but not a word has been said about it.

I have arranged things before for the whole year and at least 40% of them never paid but the children still turned up . Once bitten twice shy with a large group.

SirChenjin Sun 17-Mar-13 18:44:48

I caved to the limo thing a couple of years ago, after swearing I never would. DS1 left his primary school 4 years ago, the parents got together and organised a trip to the ice rink followed by Frankie and Bennys with lift shares and parent supervisors. Cost a grand total of £14 per head, including a petrol contribution.

DD left her school 2 years later. It was a horrendously OTT experience, with a lavish PTA budget, a Vegas theme (as voted by the 11 year olds) and 3 of the parents got together and invited a select number of children to go by limo. Some children were invited and then uninvited, others (like my DD and her 3 friends) were not deemed cool enough to go with them, and it became an ostentatious display of wealth with some children dressed way beyond their years. As a very, very special treat some of us got together and hired a limo as a surprise for our DDs, and they loved it.

I was on the organising committee of this extravaganza as I was totally against Vegas as a theme for 11 year olds, and was absolutely gobsmacked at the attitudes of some of the parents. You would not have believed this was about children leaving primary school - glitzy, tacky rubbish. I pray to goodness when DS comes to leave the school there will be more restraint shown.

idiot55 Sun 17-Mar-13 18:48:40

Back to the original question!

Youare complelty right to question it, particularly with this new info!

keep us posted

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 18:51:03

Lets give up on the limo is good or bad.

And please keep us posted on her reasons for changing plans.

Floggingmolly Sun 17-Mar-13 18:52:58

Why does it have to include the whole year?
Are you serious, comfysofas? What part of Leavers party didn't you understand?

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 18:55:46

But my son does not speak to half the kids and has a close knit circle of about ten.

Why would I do something for kids I dont know and parents who dont care?

The school can do the whole year thing and if its a disco only half will be there.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 18:56:08

I thought you said your DS did know about the Limo? Surely he would have told the other children.

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 18:58:26

No, none of the kids know.

Lovelygoldboots Sun 17-Mar-13 18:59:44

comfy sofas your son and his friends do not know about limo. They think they are just having fun at.your house? They don't think that is naff? They sound like great kids and its a.lovely surprise. But it is extravagant. Not every parent can do it. It can be just pop, crisps and a boogie. Nothing that anyone has to shell out large sums for. Then there is no animosity when parents don't or cant pay. Essentially thats all your son thinks he's having anyway.

twooter Sun 17-Mar-13 18:59:58

So are they all expected to get dressed up in their nice new clothes to run around a play centre? It just seems a bizarre combination - you're nearly adults so have a limo- you're young children so go to a play centre.

SirChenjin Sun 17-Mar-13 19:02:58

There's a school in Glasgow somewhere that put its foot down when some parents decided that hiring a helicopter would be a good idea. Well done that school.

SirChenjin Sun 17-Mar-13 19:03:28

helicopter for P7 leaving prom that is

comfysofas Sun 17-Mar-13 19:04:26

None of the children know anything............. on the last day when photos are being taken we shall just say shall we go back to our house for a drink.

The children will then be told nothing. Then ten minutes before the limo arrives we shall say shall we go bowling and of course they will say yes and then the car will arrive.

rottentomatoes Sun 17-Mar-13 19:07:40

Chav Wagon
Just made me laugh

givemeaclue Sun 17-Mar-13 19:09:48

Has op emailed the organiser yet?

lastSplash Sun 17-Mar-13 19:11:25

I'd do your email as 'reply all' including all the other parents - as long as it is friendly and polite! What if every other parent is likewise contacting her separately as well as texting eachother and gossiping amongst themselves?

Keep it all in the open I reckon - you have a couple of completely legitimate questions, which no doubt all of you would like to hear the answer to.

SirChenjin Sun 17-Mar-13 19:13:27

So true Rotten grin

mrsstewpot Sun 17-Mar-13 19:16:52

Looks like we're never going to agree on this limo issue comfy, and I will pay you you're due with regards to arranging it all well after home time and away from school so those not involved won't be aware of what they're missing out on. I just hope there are no friends who are maybe quieter and less memorable on the fringes of this group of friends who could be left out.

Sorry if your thread has gone off on a tangent OP. I'm partly to blame for that! blush

Floggingmolly Sun 17-Mar-13 19:18:11

Love the Chav Wagon grin. Bet it won't put Comfy off, wonder why?

Sugarice Sun 17-Mar-13 19:20:57

If the play centre is owned by a relative of the organising mother, that would make me more pissed off at the circumstances surrounding the booking.

More investigations required OP.

Sunnymeg Sun 17-Mar-13 19:53:39

Have just emailed her.

YY, definitely question the change of venue (bit suspicious with the family link...)

As for living on Mars because limos are not part of Y6 leavers - I would rather live on Mars than in a place where value is placed on limos and all they stand for...

At our school the Y6 (all 90 of them) get to have a BBQ and swimming pool party (the school has a small outdoor pool and borrow the PTA oil drum BBQ). Then those that want to go into the whole-school disco (junior school so only age 7 - 11 present, no teenies).
They have been doing that for years and years and every year it proves very popular.
Cost is £4 to contribute towards opening the pool, hiring a lifeguard, and a small contribution to the food.
Staff cook the bbq and serve the pupils.

Great fun, very simple but effective.

Rainbowinthesky Sun 17-Mar-13 20:17:12

I still cannot get over limos for 11 year olds. Very sad that this is deemed appropriate by their parents. It's so far away from my dd's world who is 9 and I hope it stays like this for a lot longer. She has a life time for tacky adult stuff.

StuntGirl Sun 17-Mar-13 20:29:25

Not a chance in hell I'd pay for a limo for a child.

I would have emailed her too OP, and just queried the cost and the change of plans. If your son isn't bothered by the current plans could you organise something different yourself?

cathers Sun 17-Mar-13 20:31:11

It does all sound over the top and expensive! I would certainly be questioning the cost and the activities for 10 year olds. Sounds naff and inappropriate.

Our school also has a BBQ after school, followed by a camp fire, marshmallows, tent pitching on the field and a sleep over for the children who want it. Paid for by PTA but costs very little.

elijahwood Sun 17-Mar-13 21:05:53

Ignore the bores comfy sofas - your DS and his pals will love what you've got planned smile

rottentomatoes Mon 18-Mar-13 07:27:42

I think it's hilarious that when some posters think something is tacky and inappropriate they are then called boring and bores!

It's very school yardish "Come on let's go for a fag behind the bike shed" No? "You are sooo boorrring"

hamdangle Mon 18-Mar-13 07:36:50

I didn't even get a limo for my 16 year old DS's prom because he himself said that it was lame and tacky! And the thought of kids turning up in a helicopter is just depressing.

Leaving primary school is a big rite of passage but its only you as a parent who feels that way. Kids don't realise it at the time or care that much.

GrowSomeCress Mon 18-Mar-13 07:37:03

rotten grin

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 07:39:34

Thank you eliaj... I know my son and his pals will love it they are car mad.

I cannot understand though why anybody would think I would book something my son and pals would not enjoy.

EG Taking my son and pals to the zoo, cost £20 each ish they would not enjoy it so much but I would not knock anyone who did and said it was too extravagant.

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 07:41:18

Yes rotton it is school yardish and you seem to be the leader.

You dont like the thought of a limo but instead of going hey-ho you seem intent on convincing me I am wrong.

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 07:44:05

Neither decision is wrong.

We are just different people, and do different things.

mrsstewpot Mon 18-Mar-13 08:39:25

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Lovelygoldboots Mon 18-Mar-13 08:51:18

Really comfy you stuck your own neck on the chopping block with this one. My daughter is year 6 and I have never heard of anyone hiring a limo. Apparently we are all from Mars. I live in a rural area and there are some very well off families here. It is a very small school and there will be an end of term party. That is all. Do what you want comfy, but don't assume everyone finds it normal to hire a limo and spend lots of money. It isn't. And many parents even in rural communities can't afford it myself included. Luckily for me the more well off parents at my dcs school seem to recognize that.

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 09:06:35

For the record I know nobody on mumsnet [or dont think I do]

OK To hire a limo for various things where I live and the nearby cities is normal. [ The limo companies would of gone out of business if it were not]

I have been enlightened that it is not normal in other places.

mrsstewpot Mon 18-Mar-13 09:09:07

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 09:09:07

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 09:12:40

I am bored with this now.

Out of curiosity I have rung six limo companies in the 25 mile area to book a limo for the last day of term.

Guess what not one limo available.

So we defiantly do it different in Devon.

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 09:18:48

I have not got two names on here, if thats what you think??

Lovelygoldboots Mon 18-Mar-13 09:21:29

Don't be creeped out comfy. Mrsstewpot is pulling your leg and inferring you and Elijah are the same person. Yes, I am a genius. grin

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 09:25:09

I am creeped out though, it did feel very weird when I read it.

I think I will leave replying to stuff to someone else for a while.

I have been stalked before and it shocked me to read that she knew my friends even though she was wrong.

mrsstewpot Mon 18-Mar-13 09:29:11

I actually reported last night and heard back this morn...

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 09:30:35

and they said?

Lovelygoldboots Mon 18-Mar-13 09:30:38

That is not nice comfy. I am fairly sure it is safe on here but I can understand you feeling creeped out. sad

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 09:32:44


mrsstewpot Mon 18-Mar-13 09:33:09

They said, "good spot".

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 09:36:47



Floggingmolly Mon 18-Mar-13 09:37:39

You defiantly do things differently in Devon? Yes, the general consensus is that you definitely do, Comfy.

Sugarice Mon 18-Mar-13 09:37:59

This has all gone a bit weird. shock

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 09:41:40

It has I am astounded that someone would blatantly lie on here.

I have asked mumsnet to put a message on this thread that I am not two people.

Oh yes and sorry about spelling mistakes.

We shall see what mn does but I will not be back on this thread, it has indeed gone weird.

TeeBee Mon 18-Mar-13 09:49:15

Personally, I find limos and helicopters a little in bad taste for youngsters. I find people slagging off others who choose to do it even more in bad taste.

Sugarice Mon 18-Mar-13 09:50:07

mrsstewpot why are you implying comfy is posting under two nn's?

lagoonhaze Mon 18-Mar-13 09:57:41

Its all school camps around here. Expensive!

JenaiMorris Mon 18-Mar-13 09:58:26

It hasn't got weird, just nasty.

Some posters really ought to grow up.

mrsstewpot Mon 18-Mar-13 10:00:05

Ok emotions running high here for me as I have had to witness and comfort children who have not been included in these parties.

I suspected the post from elijah as it backed up comfy and called those who disagreed, 'bores'. Similar language and a search revealed a first time poster.

This is what MNHQ said:

Subject: Re: (Case 197497) 37894989 - Ignore the bores comfy sofas - your DS and his palDate: 17 March 2013 22:46:33Hi there,

Good spot!



I could be wrong still, I guess, and in that case, I apologise.

Bowing out for now as getting far too involved.

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 10:01:47

Yes you are wrong and as I said I have asked MN to post on this thread that you were wrong.......

We shall see.

Emotions PAH! Just nasty.

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 10:04:43

Surely I would not of been a first time poster if I named changed?

quoteunquote Mon 18-Mar-13 10:07:56

when parents started to want to pull this crap stuff at our local primary school,

the school let the children run a cake stall during the summer term, a limo was hired and during the end of school disco all the children got to have a ride in it, great time had by all, band, barbecue, silly games, fun,disco together saying good bye to all.

the school didn't want the last memory of primary school being a have and have not moment, such a horrible thing to do,

I live in Devon, none of the schools I know allow this oneupmanship behaviour to go on.

comfysofas Mon 18-Mar-13 10:10:51

oh gosh

What do you mean allow it?

I can do what I want. Can I not?

This is so tiring, I have to go now and will be away from the internet for two days.

Thank god, please mn do the leg work and prove I am not two people and then write a post on here.

INeverSaidThat Mon 18-Mar-13 10:18:31

I am with Comfy on this one. I think a lot of people are taking this all too seriously. Limo's are tacky and ostentatious and that is why a lot of younger kids like them. They are just so 'unexpected' and fun. IYSWIM.

As long as everyone is included and everyone has fun I think you should do whatever you like.
The fact that some 16 year olds think they are tacky is really not relevant or the least bit suprising.

I am sorry for the OP who has had her thread derailed. She was not asking about whether MN approves of limos

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 18-Mar-13 11:19:44

Calling someone a bore V calling someone a chav.

What do you think is more offensive?

Comfy has very clearly said her child's treat is happening away from school,any parent can provide what ever treat they see fit for children with out it being anything to do with anybody else. Why start being nasty about it?

Stewpot, your issue appears to be with parents who try and bring the treat into school and exclude some children, so why not take the matter up with people who do that not people who don't. Occasionally throughout the school term I take my own children with one friend each to the pictures or out to eat,would you have an issue with this?

Of course you wouldn't because its something that's quite normal for indervidualls to do its not really any different to comfy sorting a away from school out of school hours and no where near the school site outing?

If you check the talk rules you will find its against the rules to openly call someone a troll or sock puppet its also very rude.

JenaiMorris Mon 18-Mar-13 11:21:14

The whole venue plot thickens!

As an aside, I couldn't give a stuff if comfy had been sockpuppetting here. At lease she hasn't been spiteful.

Sunnymeg Mon 18-Mar-13 13:05:41

I've had a reply back, with a copy to three other mums, who had all contacted her as well. She says we shouldn't bitch as she is the only one who offered to organize anything, and she used family contacts (!) to get a good deal on a meal and disco at the play centre. This is the first time a disco has been mentioned!

I have emailed back and said I meant no offence, but I really don't know what is being planned, and if it means I have to pay £50, it would be best to leave DS out of the numbers.

Sugarice Mon 18-Mar-13 13:10:23

Sunny, ooh she's a touch defensive isn't she?

I wouldn't pay £50 for that either, even with a disco thrown in, witwoo and hip hip hooray and all that! hmm

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 18-Mar-13 13:11:52

£50 is not a good deal, she's either stupid or lying

Fillyjonk75 Mon 18-Mar-13 13:12:33

The point is, regardless of what anyone thinks about limos and proms etc the organiser has gone ahead and booked things without keeping people informed and doubled the cost. Probably most of the parents will be of the same mind as the OP and not go ahead.

What I would do is go with what the school organise and just get together with the mums of DDs' closest friends and sort something out with them.

Sunnymeg Mon 18-Mar-13 13:14:46

I'm a bit peed off about the comment about not organizing anything. I'm the Year 6 rep on the PTA committee, and I'll be up to my eyes organizing the summer barbeque from May onwards!!

Sugarice Mon 18-Mar-13 13:17:39

She's being defensive because she went ahead and booked this without checking with you and the other Mums if you were in agreement and probably realises now that that plan is going to go up shit creek. hmm.

Ignore her, she's an idiot for not checking first!

shewhowines Mon 18-Mar-13 13:23:59

So there are only 13 children in the year.

4 of you independently e-mailed her, she makes 5.

Mmmm this could be a vey expensive mistake on her part. Lets hope she can get her money back if she's paid deposits.

shewhowines Mon 18-Mar-13 13:25:37

Why would 13 kids need a disco anyway?

Not much of an atmosphere there then.

gymmummy64 Mon 18-Mar-13 13:26:20

I have one DD who has left primary and one who will do so next year. Limos have never ever been mentioned.

However, I wanted to comment on all the posters who seem baffled as to why kids would want to ride in a limo and who are saying this could only come from their parents. Neither of my DDs are the sort who like dressing up as pop stars, DD2 particularly would absolutely hate it. However, both would LOVE to go in a limo and have wanted to for ages. I can see why - they look great! They are long! They are cool! Blacked out windows look way cooler than our car windows which are usually steamed up with dog breath. Neither of my DDs are thinking of celebs, that really isn't a connection they would make. They just think the cars look cool. DD2 would also really like to ride in a tank. The highlight of a recent weekend in Europe for both of them was going on a double decker train, there was wild excitement when it arrived. Unusual transport is FUN, not a sign of terminal decadence!

I have been in a limo once, about 5 years ago and came straight out again - far too claustrophobic for me. Neither DD has ever heard me speak highly of limos!

DeWe Mon 18-Mar-13 13:28:39

Well on the plus side you now have names of three other mums who agree with you that you can organise a meal and limo (or tank if they'd prefer grin) together.

Sunnymeg Mon 18-Mar-13 16:21:17

Well it was fun at the school gates this afternoon (not!!) After quite a bit of argy bargy, it has been decided to have party games with sandwiches, jelly and ice cream at the village hall, followed by a ride in the limo. This means we will honour her booking of the limo, albeit we want it slightly . It is £50 to book the village hall, we will all contribute food and I am going to do the games, with one of the other Mums.

If the limo company can't accommodate the change of time, and keep the deposit we will all cough up one thirteenth of it.

Sunnymeg Mon 18-Mar-13 16:22:32

Sorry should read we want the limo later!!

GreenShadow Mon 18-Mar-13 16:52:27

Glad to hear that this has been sorted out.

We just had ours in a village hall - lovely, emotional evening.

Like you, parent's provided the food but instead if games, had a small disco. We had a Hawaiian theme - girls in grass skirts (over shorts), boys in loud, flowery shirts (or the brave one with a pair of halved coconuts on their chest!). Gave them all flower garlands as they came in.
One dad took a group photo near the start, then dashed home and managed to print A4 copies for every child by the end.

Flisspaps Mon 18-Mar-13 16:54:48

Excellent - that sounds much more appropriate!

INeverSaidThat Mon 18-Mar-13 17:00:45

That sounds good.
I bet you were glad that some of the other Mums were annoyed about it too.
The village hall sounds good. I don't think it would matter if the limo turned up in te middle of the event. The kids won't care. grin. It will give the parents a chance to sit down for half an or or so.

Groovee Mon 18-Mar-13 17:32:06

That's even worse that the girls get the limos and boys go in hummers. What parents agree to this?

Because we only had so many girls and more boys. It was cheaper for the girls to get limo's for their numbers and the boys to have hummers. The girls were picked out the hat for the 3 limo's and the boys were mixed up between the 2 hummers. 2 parents did the whole year group when we realised the issues in numbers as it meant the boys would need more transport in one class than the other. It worked well and everyone was happy.

twinklesparkles Mon 18-Mar-13 18:45:07

Hang on... I'm confused it doesn't take much

Is comfy the lady who organised sunnys ds's school party??
Do they know eachother? Same school?

Or is comfy just a random person who got her knickers in a twist?

Sunnymeg Mon 18-Mar-13 18:53:57

Well I don't know Comfy, and I'm sure she doesn't know me either!

JenaiMorris Mon 18-Mar-13 19:21:54

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

rottentomatoes Mon 18-Mar-13 19:43:08

Who has made a "dick" of themselves?

idiot55 Mon 18-Mar-13 20:04:19

glad its sorted, no one gets left out surely thats the important thing

nkf Mon 18-Mar-13 20:31:13

The original problem has been sorted which sounds good. The limo business was weird. All that going on about how tacky they are. Nobody books a limo because they suggest classic elegance.

Fillyjonk75 Mon 18-Mar-13 20:36:22

You could have a small wedding for the original cost smile

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ) Tue 19-Mar-13 15:58:46

Hello everyone,

We must apologies for the confusion we've caused - we didn't mean to imply that comfysofa was sock puppeting. We appear to have gotten our wires crossed here - so sorry.

Cricrichan Tue 19-Mar-13 16:18:30

I'd email her and cc everybody saying that it is unreasonable of her to book and organise something that wasn't agreed to to begin with, as well as it beng double the price.

GeneHuntsMistress Tue 19-Mar-13 16:21:07

The other mum will have no problem with getting the deposit back on the soft play place though - seeing as how she is related to the owners and all...... Cos that will probably be the next thing she claims, and everyone will have to reimburse her....

hopefloats Tue 19-Mar-13 16:28:36

Our primary school holds a disco for leavers. The PTA pays for it. Any parent suggesting limos around here would get laughed out of the playground.

comfysofas Tue 19-Mar-13 16:54:50

KateSMumsnet (MNHQ)Tue 19-Mar-13 15:58:46

Hello everyone,

We must apologies for the confusion we've caused - we didn't mean to imply that comfysofa was sock puppeting. We appear to have gotten our wires crossed here - so sorry

Is this an admission that I was not two people............... If so not a very clear one.

NoTeaForMe Tue 19-Mar-13 19:27:21

Comfy are you the person who joined mumsnet about a joint birthday party that had gone wrong?! Or the original poster about the joint birthday party?!

comfysofas Tue 19-Mar-13 19:37:39

I have never had a joint birthday party, so nope not me.

NoTeaForMe Tue 19-Mar-13 19:43:27

The party was for the children of the two posters. It included a bouncy castle (possibly a pirate ship). Someone else must remember it, it wasn't that long ago and was a massive thread with lots of spin off threads.

comfysofas Tue 19-Mar-13 19:50:49

No sorry didnt read that one.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 19-Mar-13 19:54:58

No that's not comfy that poster was called cream something or other but it was a brilliant thread.

NoTeaForMe Tue 19-Mar-13 19:58:49

Didn't really matter if it was or not, just thought it was and thought if ask. Sorry!

Glad it's getting sorted OP!

mum382013 Tue 19-Mar-13 20:00:46

coffeedog or somethign like that?

MostlyArbitrary Tue 19-Mar-13 20:45:00

Haven't read through the whole thread but just want to drop in and say:

A limousine to a leavers do for primary school is one of the most ridiculous things I've ever heard.

McPheetStink Tue 19-Mar-13 20:46:54

The worlds gone flaming mad shock

INeverSaidThat Tue 19-Mar-13 20:51:33

The joint party thread was clumsy and coffeepot. It was an epic thread with a rather anticlimactic ending.

IneedAsockamnesty Tue 19-Mar-13 21:00:46

I knew it was a drink of some description

mum382013 Tue 19-Mar-13 21:02:04

i was close!! but no cigar!

LittleBearPad Tue 19-Mar-13 22:34:10

Limos for primary school children are ridiculous not to mention naff as fuck.

comfysofas Wed 20-Mar-13 08:16:46

I am glad everything is sorted and hope the kids will love the limo. I know my kids will.

Naff or not I think I will have a spin around for ten minutes myself. grin grin

JenaiMorris Wed 20-Mar-13 08:23:14

It doesn't matter if comfy was on the joint party thread or not. I do think a few posters have been out of order attacking her here though.

Hopefully she appreciates that they're the ones who don't look so great on this thread, and not her.

JenaiMorris Wed 20-Mar-13 08:25:30

Gawd I was slow posting that!

rottentomatoes Wed 20-Mar-13 11:09:54

As opposed to you calling posters "dicks" Jenai?

JenaiMorris Wed 20-Mar-13 13:08:56

My deleted post said they'd made themselves look like dicks. There's a subtle distinction.

But it's ok to call people 'chavs' apparently.

valiumredhead Wed 20-Mar-13 14:04:42

Wtf, limos for primary school aged kids?!

When ds left yr 4 there was a disco, barbecue and mocktails in a VIP area, £2 a ticket iirc.

When he leaves middle school there will be a prom which is nothing more than a fancy school disco and a fiver a head.

Sorry, unhelpful post but can't get past the fact these are primary school kids!

Lovelygoldboots Wed 20-Mar-13 14:18:48

Well I think comfy appears more than capable of fighting her own battles. I stand by what I said as much as comfy does. I don't think she has been attacked. There was an accusation that has proved unfounded and I believe there has been an apology. Shall we all move on?

"can't get past the fact that these are primary school kids"

Whilst I agree that children don't really need limo's or helicopters to mark the occasion I also think that our childhood years are actually a great time to make some wonderful memories. For many of us the happiest times of our lives. So whilst I know most of those happy memories are built on simple pleasures, if parents can think of some extra ways to make happy memories for their children, such as an end of primary party, then who would want to stop them ?!

rottentomatoes Wed 20-Mar-13 14:39:57


I think people said Limo's were Chavy not that comfy was chavy. There is a subtle difference. wink

comfysofas Wed 20-Mar-13 14:49:48

I agree juggling ''children don't need limos'' but they don't need disneyworld either or Alton towers or a ride in a speedboat.

All they need is food/water/warmth and to feel safe. [and education]

But If I can add a bit of fun along the way, I am going to.

valiumredhead Wed 20-Mar-13 15:22:39

Fun doesn't always mean spending shed loads of money though, ds still talks about how great the leaving do was and as i posted earlier no sign of limos or restaurants.

comfysofas Wed 20-Mar-13 15:39:20

I agree

walks on the beach

messing around in the woods

building dens

reading a book

watching a film

Its all good and we [most] do all the stuff we can.

Don't we?

comfysofas Wed 20-Mar-13 15:44:40

As being on MN for a while there are many many different types of incomes.

I would never knock anyone for spending money on their kids, many children get a lot more than others.

Many have different ideas on how to bring up children

fruit shoots or not

go back to work or not

nursery cm or stay at home

disneyworld or camping

We are all different and to slate someone for booking a limo hardly seems an important issue when you read some of the things people have to deal with.

I expect some people reading this thread said to themselves ''god, if thats all I had to worry about my life would be easy''

specialsubject Wed 20-Mar-13 15:45:53

I would hope that childhood would not be the happiest time of anyone's life, otherwise it is all downhill.

I had a normal, stable, comfortable childhood from what I remember, with two loving parents who are still together - but I wouldn't go back! It's great to be a 'grown-up'. :-)

I certainly wouldn't have wanted limos to leave primary, and while secondary was ok, I saw it is a business transaction - they teach, I learn - and walked away with no sentiment. Happily there weren't leaving parties then, I would have found it quite nauseating. And still do.

comfysofas Wed 20-Mar-13 15:49:34

special.... from what you say about school is does not sound like you had a great time at all. :-(

valiumredhead Wed 20-Mar-13 15:50:24

The fact there are so many different people with different incomes should be another reason why extravagant parties shouldn't be going on at school.

I have one child, good income but there is no way my child would be going in a limo in primary school unless he paid for it himself. I would suggest kids are watching far too much American television programmes if this is seen as 'normal.' <hoiks bosom in disgust>

I'll go back and read the rest of the thread now grin

valiumredhead Wed 20-Mar-13 15:51:11

I would hope that childhood would not be the happiest time of anyone's life, otherwise it is all downhill

God, not for me, my life started the day I left school!

comfysofas Wed 20-Mar-13 16:20:36

So because I can afford £25 and other parents can't, I should not do it.

Please read the whole thread about my plans...........

I feel this thread is going to explode again.


valiumredhead Wed 20-Mar-13 17:14:54

My post wasn't directed at you personally, more a general 'I can't believe this is even being discussed for primary school children!'

valiumredhead Wed 20-Mar-13 17:16:19

I also can't believe how hard it is to post from my phone, so will come back later when ds is of the computer.

comfysofas Wed 20-Mar-13 17:21:04


IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 19:36:17

Comfy lets really put the cat among the pigeons.

My 11 year child once ( when she was 11) got picked up from school in the middle of the day in a helicopter piloted by 2 navy pilots accompanied by ant and dec and was in hello mag that week.

She rather enjoyed it.

JenaiMorris Wed 20-Mar-13 19:39:17

What kind of decadent lesson did that teach your daughter, Sock? angry


SirChenjin Wed 20-Mar-13 19:44:24

Presumably you didn't actually fork out for that Sock?!! grin

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 19:46:32

That when your 9 years old and are disabled as a result of being run over, nearly die and despite not being able to walk but drag yourself through a raging fire 6 months later to save a trapped 2 year old burning yourself in the process,

People may just make a bit of a fuss of you and occasionally you then end up winning a nationally recognised bravery award

And David Beckham prince Charles and a load of bob geldofs mates come visit you.

grin grin

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 19:47:43

Oh you also tend to get given a gold blue Peter badge then many years later as a growd up you don't get laughed at for wearing it.

SirChenjin Wed 20-Mar-13 20:30:31

Goodness me - all that just for the chance to meet Ant and Dec?!

Seriously, what an amazing story. I hope you and your DD had an amazing time - well deserved smile smile

<in absolute awe of your gold blue peter badge>

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 20:34:17

The gold blue Peter badge is hers.

She did have an amazing time.

You do realise I'm now sat here just daring someone to call me a chav grin

SirChenjin Wed 20-Mar-13 20:37:07



whatagreatname Wed 20-Mar-13 20:38:56

When my ds left Y6 they had a game of rounders for children and parents (in the rain) BBQ and a disco which would normally be £2 per head but they didn't have to pay as they were leavers grin

Job done

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Mar-13 20:53:42


Fuuuuuuuuuck orffffffffffffffff

comfysofas Thu 21-Mar-13 08:03:42

socks.................. What about all the poor children that did'nt go, I feel so sorry for them the poor mites.


Back to something I previously said though, do some people think that you should not do stuff with your kids because Billy or Gemmas mum can't afford it.

[fictitious names randomly picked]

LittleBearPad Thu 21-Mar-13 08:17:02

If it's planned on the day they all leave school then yes. If leaving events are planned they should be for the whole school.

comfysofas Thu 21-Mar-13 08:24:33

Sorry I just don't get it, I have planned something for my son and his pals.

I have not got the time to plan something for the whole year and plus the added agony of chasing people for money etc. [ and people moaning about details]

The school will do things for the whole year and I have decided to do something special for ds and pals, and it is away from school. I honestly don't see anything wrong with that.

Somebody else may be doing the same with her ds/dd and pals, I wouldn't know. If someone is, I am not going to get all precious about it.

Floggingmolly Thu 21-Mar-13 08:53:27

What LittleBear said. But you're never going to get it, are you comfy? Mind you, the amount of time you've spent on this thread trying to justify it, seems to be protesting a little bit too much?
Can you actually see it's not on, but just don't care?

INeverSaidThat Thu 21-Mar-13 09:25:39

Weird thread...

Still can't work out why people are criticising comfy. She is planning a nice treat or her son and a few of his pals and..., err, that's about it. Sounds like they will have a great time.

We all agree that limos are tacky but I don't think comfys son and his pals are going to worry about that for a moment.

As I said earlier, some posters are really overthinking this.

ladymariner Thu 21-Mar-13 10:50:09

If comfy had arranged for the limo to turn up at the school in front of all the children then I would say she was out of order and being thoughtless. However, she's stated several times that this is after the official school leaving celebrations and the children involved don't even know yet. I can't really see why people are getting so up in arms, tbh, it's only like having a party and just inviting your friends, she wouldn't have to invite everyone to that so why should she invite everyone to this?

That said, I don't agree with limos for primary school children myself, simply on the grounds that they grow up quickly enough and, imo, should be enjoying the 'simpler'things at that age. The limos etc are great fun when they have the prom for leaving secondary school, but they're 16 then. At ds' prom it was brilliant watching all the kids turn up in various means of transport, ranging from own cars to limos to motorbikes and buses. (and we live in a decidedly working class Northern town, and up here everyone does proms grin )

JenaiMorris Thu 21-Mar-13 12:53:11

There's nothing to get, Flogging. Nothing at all.

INever - it's weird and bonkers!

comfysofas Thu 21-Mar-13 17:29:23


weird and bonkers.. quite quite true.

skinoncustard Thu 21-Mar-13 20:12:32

8 years ago - High school prom , DD and friends decided limos were so 'yesterday' they arrived at posh hotel on board a Fire Engine ! Lights ! Sirens ! Hunky Firemen ( well that was a matter of taste !! ) They had a ball !!!

ladymariner Thu 21-Mar-13 21:03:44

Ds and three of his mates arrived in a Silver Shadow Rolls Royce with "Ride Of The Valkyries" blaring out full volume.....always did like to make an entrance, that boy!!!! grin

comfysofas Fri 22-Mar-13 12:37:25

I am liking the fire engine idea........... and the rolls royce hope you both took plenty of photos.

The fire engine sounds fun skin - how did they manage that one then ?!

GeneHuntsMistress Fri 22-Mar-13 12:54:22

What strikes me is the overwhelming amount of posters outraged at the thought of limos for primary school children....who then go on to say but of course it's fine for secondary school "proms"

Bit double standard in my opinion. Speaking as an old gimmer whose end of secondary school days consisted of flour & egg fights and signing each others' shirts.

Saying all that, I don't really give a fiddlers fart what anyone else would like to do, and appreciate how much things have changed......just as I suppose the posters I am referring to will be outraged in future at nursery school limos at graduation.....but of course it's fine for primary school children.....

Op - I'm sorry your thread has been hijacked and hope it all turns out well? Please let us know

Spamspamspam Fri 22-Mar-13 15:04:48

Can't understand all the hand wringing and wails of EXTRAVAGANCE directed at Comfy shock it's a car that's all, a big one mind that happens to have blacked out windows but it's only a bloody car - some people need to get a grip.

It's probably no more expensive than a bouncy castle for the afternoon, but I bet nobody would be wailing and whining so much if that was mentioned.

The thing I can't get my head around is why if one person decides to do something for their son/daughter and a few friends this is seen as some sort of exclusion to everyone else - if you want to organise something for your children and their immediate friends do it, stop whining about being excluded from someone else's thing - it's not as if these people are talking about inviting 29 of the class and leaving one out.

Personally I hate the bloody things but my Yr5 daughter and her friends would LOVE it - every single bit of it.

All those having one - hope they have fun!

LtEveDallas Fri 22-Mar-13 15:27:20

Oh sock - I think I remember your daughter. Are you in Wiltshire? If she is the one I think she is then her picture was on display in our NAAFI cookhouse (taken from a magazine and just pinned up) with "Now THAT'S brave" written across it.

(I think someone on the staff knew your family - was a long time ago)

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 22-Mar-13 17:59:32

Yep Lt and its very likely I knew a few people on staff because back then I used to train the MOD in DV good practice so was in and out of the camps loads.

Its nice to think that people working in that environment (where they show bravery loads) did that,I shall tell her when I see her this weekend (cos she's now a growd up so lives by herself) she will be pleased.

LtEveDallas Fri 22-Mar-13 18:09:14

Well I remember her being v pretty and her brother looking like a whole backload of mischief!

(That's a very cool coincidence - I'm liking it a lot smile)

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 22-Mar-13 18:22:48

Correct assessment grin surprisingly that perticular brother these days is quite a prim and proper geeky gentleman type (his way of describing himself) and never ever does anything naughty but when he was small,well lets just say I hid in the wardrobe lots pretending I was 15 and had no kids.

comfysofas Fri 22-Mar-13 18:33:54

Nice to hear people having fun arranging surprises for their children and not getting all angst about it.

I am really liking the fire engine idea, I shall have to makes friends with a fireman.... wink

skinoncustard Fri 22-Mar-13 20:16:55

COMFY A decommissioned fire engine turned ''party''. Not real firemen but uniformed. Try googleing (sp) Party Fire Engine . Sure your son would love it . Sounds like you are up for a laugh too !!!!

comfysofas Sat 23-Mar-13 08:17:24

Thanks for the info, I will have to invent a suitable excuse to book one.

My DS reckons he'd like to be a fireman so that's an interesting idea about the fire engine smile

Sock - your daughter sounds awesome! What a star! She deserves a bloody helicopter of her own!

Is everyone involved well these days?
<apologies for hijack, its just such a great story - ought to be a film or summat!>

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 23-Mar-13 11:20:18

Child trapped in fire has no after affects at all.
Dd still having ops every year but that's to do with the original accident rather than fire but otherwise fine.

It was a very differcult time for everyone but thankfully it was dealt with well.

DJDee Tue 30-Apr-13 00:12:53

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

rainbowslollipops Tue 30-Apr-13 07:25:37

What happened to a little party in the classroom with party rings? sad

MansView Tue 30-Apr-13 11:21:16

re: Limos for Primary School kids ? Dear goodness.

yeah, it's the latest chav craze these days I'm afraid sad

becsme Tue 30-Apr-13 12:26:54

Where i live we have lower schools, so the school move happens at 8/9 years old. Two of my chldren have attended and the leaving party seems to be ott. When my oldest was leaving a clique of mums decided venue and limos were put forward as the usual done thing. Thankfully there were quite a few sensible mums in that year and it was very much personal choice. We choose not to go down the limo option. Excessive overindulgence. Unfortunately some of the same parents have siblings in my youngests year. Limos are now being muted as you have to do them. I realise that some parents have an agenda here as they have to do for one child what they did for another.

My views are unchanged and i dont believe parents should be bullied into excess.

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now