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To expect people to take there shoes off? Sorry rant ahead!

(327 Posts)
Damash12 Sat 16-Mar-13 22:07:46

We've recently had a new carpet and it's not f@@;ing rocket science to see we have added a shoe rack near the back door but why do people look at you with a put out expression when they ask the question "do I need to take my shoes off?" and you reply "yes". And what's worse is those that know but still choose to walk in and just not bother or the best one, those that keep their shoes on and bloody tip toe around the place, like that makes it ok. I've actually had 1 visitor roll there eyes when I've asked them to come round the back, it's about 5 yards FFS!! Rant over!

THEIR.

Maybe they have odd socks on.

YABVPFC.

PFC - love it, goddess! grin

ReallyTired Sat 16-Mar-13 22:11:46

We take our shoes off in our house. However I don't force my visitors to remove their shoes. I feel that having a happy guest is more important than the carpet. A vacuum cleaner does an excellent job of cleaning up when they have gone.

If someone's shoes were utterly caked in mud, or its really wet or snowing then I would prompt them. However I haven't yet needed to other than some of my son's friends who have been playing football.

blackeyedsusan Sat 16-Mar-13 22:13:31

some people are shoes on, some are shoes off. you will get a split betwwen thoose who say it is about hygeine and those who say it is about being welcoming to visitors.

maddening Sat 16-Mar-13 22:13:32

Depends on the occasion and visitor.

But if I wanted people to remove shoes I would ask them rather than expect them to guess.

HollyBerryBush Sat 16-Mar-13 22:15:46

I find it a very English thing - people just tramp all their filth and shit through your house. This is the only place in the world where people are not brought up wit ha common set of values to respect other peoples homes.

I'm staring a gob of effing chewing gum in the middle of my front room carpet, from the trainer of one of my sons friends.

>disclaimer< the only time I leave my shoes on is if the person I'm visiting is a minger less than enthusiastic house keeper and I know my feet will stick to her floor.

Szeli Sat 16-Mar-13 22:16:14

I think yabu, unless they're filthy shoes won't ruin a carpet. Having my shoes off makes me uncomfortable and in pregnancy is a very difficult thing to do. A friend asked me to at Christmas, thankfully my partner was there to help me otherwise I'd have had to ask someone else there. Pretty degrading. Get a doormat x

Roseformeplease Sat 16-Mar-13 22:16:20

Try this instead of pissing off your guests www.vax.co.uk

idiuntno57 Sat 16-Mar-13 22:16:33

when we're invited to dinner st friends I always take my slippers. People seem pleased generally.

Perhaps it is the thought of having bare feet. You could supply slippers as in Japan.
smile

thebody Sat 16-Mar-13 22:19:48

Totally agree op. we had new carpets last year and they are fucking gorgeous. I got quite territorial about them. We always had a no shoes rule in our house anyway so find if my kids remove their shoes on entry other kids do too.

It's good manners.

WorraLiberty Sat 16-Mar-13 22:21:43

What actually is 'f@@;ing rocket science' though?

janji Sat 16-Mar-13 22:22:19

Keep a basket of cheap washable slippers by the shoe rack.

Geekster Sat 16-Mar-13 22:23:27

No YANBU it's shoes off in our house, and if I go to anyone else's house I always take my shoes off. My In Laws don't and not so long ago left grass all over the carpet in our house with a crawling DD, they said 'oh we were just bringing our bag in' what all over the house!!

OhDearieDearieMe Sat 16-Mar-13 22:27:30

I was 'f@@;ing wondering that too worra

WorraLiberty Sat 16-Mar-13 22:29:04

I'm f@@;ked if I know, Dearie

wonkylegs Sat 16-Mar-13 22:29:27

I've never understood the taking shoes off thing in other peoples houses, I'd honestly never come across it until I was in my mid 20's it wasn't something anyone in my family or friends did.

I don't ask people (unless the shoes are really really dirty) to take shoes off and we've had fawn/cream carpets for nearly years without them getting filthy. That's what the door mat is for.

I will take my shoes off if asked, although with a body riddled with arthritis this isn't always easy but I'm not a mind reader so you may need to ask me.

apostropheuse Sat 16-Mar-13 22:30:09

So, your visitors have to remove their shoes and also to use the back door. You don't allow visitors to enter your house via the front door. That's strange.

You're not exactly a welcoming host, are you?

Use an outdoor and indoor doormat.

RoseandVioletCreams Sat 16-Mar-13 22:31:39

ooh so they even piss you off by asking?
lots of people have shoe racks near the front door for reasons other than taking thier shoes as they enter the house.

SchnitzelVonKrumm Sat 16-Mar-13 22:33:00

YABU and inhospitable. Get a doormat. And carpet downstairs is unspeakably naff.

INeedThatForkOff Sat 16-Mar-13 22:39:14

carpet downstairs is unspeakably naff.
Seriously? hmm

Thank god I have concrete floors downstairs, with the occasional bit of rain dripping through and dog shit where someone hasn't cleaned up. Imagine how shaming if I'd had carpet!

OP ...just ask. And, maybe consider accepting some people have clean shoes. On average, if someone is all dressed up and has come from their car parked outside - changes are their shoes are clean! But if that's not good enough, just ask and let them feel irritated, if you're that fussed.

sneezingwakesthebaby Sat 16-Mar-13 22:44:19

YANBU. I honestly don't get why people keep their shoes on inside their own house never mind a house where they are a visitor. The amount of germs and stuff that will get tramped through onto the carpet and will end up in babies mouths, in your beds... it makes me feel very uncomfortable! I loved living in Japan because it was just a given that it was shoes off everywhere and slippers on. Different slippers for the bathroom too.

MrsMcEnroe Sat 16-Mar-13 22:51:21

One of my friends has laminate flooring throughout her house and she asks all visitors to remove their shoes. WHY????? It's freezing!! Why would you want your guests to be cold and uncomfortable?

I feel very uncomfortable if I have to take my shoes off when I wasn't expecting it. Can't explain why, but I feel very exposed and unnerved. But I guess your new carpets are more important..?

WafflyVersatile Sat 16-Mar-13 22:51:54

YABU.

At the very least politely ask them.

It's not standard practice in the UK to take your shoes off when entering someone's house. If you want something different from the norm then the onus is on you to communicate that without being rude when it turns out they're not psychic.

Iaintdunnuffink Sat 16-Mar-13 22:53:50

If they ring your doorbell then you ask them to go around the back then you need to expect some expressions, confused or eye rolling. We have a shoe rack by the back door and a shoe cabinet by the front, they are for all our shoes. I wouldn't expect a guest to notice and then think its a clue that they should be using them.

If you want people to take their shoes off then ask, smile and turn it into a joke about how you're protective of the new carpet. Most people would understand. At some point the carpet will move from the new status so maybe you need to get some longer term solutions in place. Unless you're going to insist people always use the back door, which isn't a big deal, I know people who do this because it suits the house. Large washable runners and door mats? Get used to always reminding people? Seem of my friends always say please take your shoes off, it's fine. I don't bother because we have hard flooring downstairs.

JollyYellowGiant Sat 16-Mar-13 22:54:54

We don't wear shoes at home as none of us are comfortable in shoes. I point out to visitors though that we have no preference about whether or not they wear shoes.

I'm always confused when someone expects me to take my shoes off to enter their property. Seems pretty rude to me.

MrsMcEnroe Sat 16-Mar-13 22:59:54

I was recently refused entry to someone's house when collecting my DD until I'd removed my shoes - the husband literally stood in my way until I'd removed them. I had to step to the side to move around him, thus putting my socked feet right in a massive soggy patch on the carpet. "Oh yes," said the muppet dad, "our radiator burst, the carpet's a bit wet." Gggrrr!! I asked if I could borrow a pair of dry socks to go home in and he said no, and I quote, "we're a bit funny about feet." You don't say!
I am never removing my shoes in someone else's house again. Unless there's a genuine medical need such as reduced immunity of course.

Panzee Sat 16-Mar-13 22:59:59

Are the shoes placed underneath the barometer?

TheOriginalSteamingNit Sat 16-Mar-13 23:01:49

Yabu

BackforGood Sat 16-Mar-13 23:02:34

YABU, rude, and inhospitable.
Get yourself a doormat. It's not rocket science wink

countrykitten Sat 16-Mar-13 23:08:22

It's rude - like, really very rude. We have no carpets as I can't stand the filthy things but even if I had them I would not dream of being so rude to guests.

countrykitten Sat 16-Mar-13 23:09:17

We do have the odd rug however and a vax carpet washer for when the dogs have trampled mud in - perhaps you should invest in one?

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sat 16-Mar-13 23:10:25

Are the shoes placed underneath the barometer?

grin grin grin

I don't give a shite whether or not people take their shoes off in my house.

I personally find it awkward. I wear big lace up DMs and unlacing and relacing is a good ten minutes. I'd probably just say I wasn't stopping, which would save any awkwardness.

sneezingwakesthebaby Sat 16-Mar-13 23:10:29

This thread has absolutely blown my mind! grin I can't believe its more rude to ask someone to take their shoes off than it is to tramp whatever is on the bottom of shoes that have walked through god knows what all over someone's house.

HerrenaHarridan Sat 16-Mar-13 23:11:28

Gah!

Fucking baffling!

Rude? To ask someone to take their shoes off in your house? If we were talking underwear I'd understand!

Personally I find it incredibly rude when people expect to be wearing their shoes in my house.

Not only do I have no qualms about prompting, I have no qualms about insisting.

You can wear your shoes in far enough to take then off without getting wet if it rains, or you can leave.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Sat 16-Mar-13 23:14:10

Well that's mighty big of you, herrena

If I had people round to whom I felt I had to 'insist' on certain behaviour, I'd be wondering about myself and them.

FattyMcChubster Sat 16-Mar-13 23:14:56

I do not wear shoes in my house and always take them off in other peoples houses. I take socks to wear instead.
I think it's much ruder to wear your shoes inside.

SchnitzelVonKrumm Sat 16-Mar-13 23:15:38

See, we all take our shoes off when we get home and put our slippers on or go barefoot because we are at home. I often change into my pyjamas too, but I wouldn't dream of demanding my guests do the same.

teacherandguideleader Sat 16-Mar-13 23:17:10

Another one shocked that it is rude to ask guests to take their shoes off, but not rude to trample whatever you have stepped in all over their carpets!

I was brought up that shoes come off in the house and come to think of it, virtually everyone I know is the same. To me it is normal. I ask people to take their shoes off if they come to mine, and will provide socks if necessary (I hate bare feet on other people's carpet so always take socks in my bag if I'm not wearing any). Myself and DP will often lay across the carpet watching TV - would rather know that we are not laying in a load of bacteria that has been walked in from outside.

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 16-Mar-13 23:17:46

I never take my shoes off. My feet get cold and as I prefer tovwearctights not socks they often have a hole in the toe. Plus I'm not talk do trousers are too long if I have no shoes on.

Bugsylugs Sat 16-Mar-13 23:19:04

I hope you all provide something for your guests to wear socks on cold floors not acceptable. High risk behaviour for anyone with diabetes and all borrowed footwear would need to be hot washed to prevent fungal infection spread yeuk. Keep the shoes on

GreenEggsAndNichts Sat 16-Mar-13 23:20:35

Love a shoe thread.

We take our shoes off. DH is German and it's generally expected there, and I'm more than happy to have it that way. For everyday wear and tear and cleanliness, it's just easier. Also, I find it more comfortable to take my shoes off and relax.

If someone doesn't want to take their shoes off, it's fine. The only time I'd answer 'yes' if someone asked if they should, though, is if they had a particularly dirty pair of shoes on. Otherwise I just tell them to do whatever they're comfortable with. People I'm friends with enough to have over to our house socially know me well enough to know that I'm hardly precious grin and if I say it doesn't matter, I'm not just saying it to be polite.

FWIW, most of our friends are shoes-off in their houses, and I'm generally happy to follow suit. The only time I haven't is when I'm wearing knee-high boots with a skirt which I'm depending on for warmth and their house is chilly. smile Or if there's a BBQ and lots of to-ing and fro-ing from the garden, I can't be bothered changing back and forth (and wouldn't in my own home either, it would get a little silly).

That all having been said- OP you sound OTT with demanding people come in through a side entrance and give shoe offerings to the rack shrine. They are your guests. Find a way to get the shoe rack near the front door, and try to be more welcoming.

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 16-Mar-13 23:23:10

If you insist on shoes off, what do you do if one of your guests has revoltingly stinky feet? grin

I went to a smart dinner party in London once, everyone dressed up to the nines, and the host greeted us with "this is a shoes off house, please take a pair of slippers from the basket by the door." So I sat there in my smart dress and tights with a pair of fluffy Ugg slippers on my feet. Most odd.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sat 16-Mar-13 23:23:29

When I was younger I went to a lot of stately homes (posh relatives) and my parents always brought baggies for us to wear over our shoes to protect the uber expensive carpet from the uber smelly cow pats just outside.

Maybe that could be the way forward?

Certainly a good compromise.

smile

BumpingFuglies Sat 16-Mar-13 23:26:53

Life

There it is
Help yourself to one

Xmasbaby11 Sat 16-Mar-13 23:28:23

For whatever reason, in the Uk, people do not take their shoes off automatically. You have to ask them. And be prepared for them to be a bit surprised.

KC225 Sat 16-Mar-13 23:31:23

I hate taking my shoes off when I go into people's houses. And to be honest, I'm quite prepared to brazen it out and pretend not to notice that I'm the only one wearing shoes. Unless I've been jogging through a swamp a good swipe across a proper doormat will do the job.

If you are that fussy (weird) about germs then don't invite people into your home

MrsKoala Sat 16-Mar-13 23:32:26

it always blows my mind that people expect guests to take off their shoes. My shoes are part of my outfit. They have been selected for a reason. Why would you have something put on your floor then not want people to walk on it? utterly bizarre. floor is the floor. it's a floor for walking on.

it reminds me of people who have plastic over their sofas and carpets grin

Picturesinthefirelight Sat 16-Mar-13 23:34:01

That's true lol. If I take my shoes off day on a long car journey if Imy feet are hurting everyone tells me for goodness sake put my shoes back on.

I do wash my feet lots - they just smell.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Sat 16-Mar-13 23:34:28

Anyone decent, if his or her shoes were covered in crap, would take them off anyway. You don't just issue orders to your guests though.

Mind you, I had to have a word with dd after her last party because she's picked up my 'no no its fine no need' hospitality to the extent that she was encouraging polite boys with very muddy trainers to put the trainers they'd started taking off back on again!

Horsemad Sat 16-Mar-13 23:35:30

This is why I do not invite people into my house!

MyDarlingClementine Sat 16-Mar-13 23:35:58

mrs rajesh why stop at covers on shoes and ask for a full nuclear suit|? maybe even wash down lab too.

people with small dc -= crawling etc, fine, i usually go to take my shoes off.

i dont like people going on about it to me though in that horrid neurotic way. sometimes if its really raining i make us all take shoes off - sometimes i dont.

i wouldnt force others to take thiers off even if we had a strict shoe policy, primarliy because they are our guests and i trust they would remove thier shoes should they have walked in dog shit.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sat 16-Mar-13 23:36:36

it reminds me of people who have plastic over their sofas and carpets

shock

I've not heard of this! Tell me more!! I love hearing stories of such bonkersness.

grin

TSSDNCOP Sat 16-Mar-13 23:37:43

I'm 40+. Amongst my friends it's common that our mothers chided their carpets.

They were a MAJOR £££ outlay. As kids we had to hover in our own homes.

No way you walked on the carpet of your mum, granny, auntys or your mums friends with shoes on. Well, not unless you fancied early, painful death.

And you know what. They weren't BU. Just do it.

MyDarlingClementine Sat 16-Mar-13 23:37:58

what about people who have resonable size houses but force lots of people into one small room because they refuse to accomodate them in thier one larger special room that gets used a few times a year?

TSSDNCOP Sat 16-Mar-13 23:38:45

Fecking IPAD.

Chided = cherished

TSSDNCOP Sat 16-Mar-13 23:42:24

Mydarling are you my best friend? We have our sitting room upstairs from our front door. Most times guests congregate in our kitchen or family room downstairs.

My friends tease that they are not allowed "above stairs" grin

SchnitzelVonKrumm Sat 16-Mar-13 23:42:41

I'm 40 plus too. My grandmother, mother and aunts would no sooner have removed their shoes in public than they'd have run round the yard in their underwear.

MyDarlingClementine Sat 16-Mar-13 23:46:22

same here schnitzel, no way my DM would be happy taking shoes off or her sisters.
unbeliveble the status that a peice of crappy carpet has got in our society these days, and often they arnt even bloody great.

a peice of art - a silk persion rug, or hand woven shiraze rug....works of art you may not want someone stepping on, but your crappy oat meal shite from carpet right?????

whethergirl Sat 16-Mar-13 23:46:41

Shoes in the home are just so disgusting, I am genuinely shocked and people who think it's not.

SchnitzelVonKrumm Sat 16-Mar-13 23:48:43

My grandmother, mother, aunts etc wouldn't have been stupid enough to buy a cream carpet either grin

HollyBerryBush Sat 16-Mar-13 23:50:54

One of my friends has laminate flooring throughout her house and she asks all visitors to remove their shoes. WHY?????

because you have fecking pebbles attached to your soles from the pavement and stilettos and make nasty marks on my kitchen floor that's why grin

MyDarlingClementine Sat 16-Mar-13 23:51:18

no schnitzel, one of my aunts still has the same carpet from about 25 years ago, it looks as good as new, really fab quailty wool, deep, has seen 5 dc - 4 boys one girl and numerous GC over it. not a pattern i would choose but certainly for its age not a bad pattern either.
wise lady.

MyDarlingClementine Sat 16-Mar-13 23:54:17

i have pine floor boards - old victorian house, little marks in them is something that has never ever crossed my mind. i dont think the marks detract away from them in any way shape or form?

confused

i have however been educated in just how unsuitable laminate is as a floor meant to be walked on by my MIL who has spent and caused many tense uptight anxious moments over the potential damager to her floor, from heels, water marks etc. what fun it was to be there.

DeepRedBetty Sat 16-Mar-13 23:54:39

I'm a shoes off person and always ask when I first visit. Since my standard daytime footwear is a pair of filthy Calgary Yard Boots, a lot of people do say please take them off...

I don't expect my own visitors to take shoes off though. Carpet is thoroughly trashed by dogs, children and aforementioned Calgary Yard Boots, when I've been in a hurry and failed to change into slippers when unloading six tons of shopping or similar.

BackforGood Sat 16-Mar-13 23:55:30

Agree with Schnitz and Clem My parents / Grandparents / older relatives have never taken shoes off as they walked in, unless coming off the farm, and generally, they walked a lot more than this generation do, as we tend to use cars a lot more.
Once me Dad's carer had tied his shoes in the morning, he wouldn't be able to bend to undo them / put them on again afterwards either - would you still make him take his shoes off OP ? What about my lovely neighbour, who has MS, and needs special supports in her shoe ? Or the Mum at school who has one leg shorter than the other and has a built up shoe ? Or someone who is heavily pregnant ?
At what point did carpets (which used to be designed to be floor coverings - ie, surfaces specifically designed to be walked upon) become more precious than family and friends ? hmm

AllPurposeNortherner Sat 16-Mar-13 23:55:35

When I was little it was always the richer kids in the new build houses (but not the actually properly posh ones) that took shoes off. They all had cream carpets and leather suites and pebbles in dishes on their mantelpiece. They had people round for dinner parties and kept the tv in a little special cupboard, and went on holiday to centre parks...

Those objecting because a baby might crawl where a shoe has been that has been outside... What do you do when your baby crawls when it is outside? Or is it only allowed to crawl on middle class carpet?

I'm another that would make a note not to return to a house where they insisted I went shoeless. I can see the idea with children, who clamber on stuff and so on, but grownups should be able to decide what clothes they wear.

Besides, I often don't bother with leg shaving or matching socks when I wear my boots, so it would rather spoil my outfit :-)

In the summer, if it is too hot for boots or clarks, I break out the birkenstocks, which are practically slippers anyway, so removing them would be ok, because they fall off anyway.

What do you do about pets? Remove their paws?

MrsKoala Sat 16-Mar-13 23:55:42

Ha MrsRajesh when i grew up in the 80's, people in my family who were very 'new money' (my nan and aunties who grew up in slum housing but had 'made something of themselves' ie married someone with a job, used to put on posh voices like hyacinth bucket and now thought they were better than everyone etc) would buy cream carpet and sofas but then have them covered in plastic covers. They would hover over you at gatherings in a joyless way. They also had posh dining rooms for 'special' occasions. It all just smacked of trying too hard to be posh. Real posh people wouldn't give a shit.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sat 16-Mar-13 23:55:53

Maybe humans will evolve to have furry hobbit/rabbit feet which don't require shoes as a direct result of the shoes on/shoes off debate...

smile

XiCi Sat 16-Mar-13 23:56:13

People who ask visitors to remove their shoes before entering their home are imo just fucking weird. I can't even comprehend being that anal.

MrsKoala Sun 17-Mar-13 00:02:39

'form follows function' people. what things look like should come secondary to its purpose. the purpose of floor is to be walked one. total madness. have a practical floor that you can afford to maintain.

Beveridge Sun 17-Mar-13 00:05:19

Historically, houses in many parts of the UK would have had compressed dirt floors and presumably that's behind the cultural lack of shoe removal compared to the likes of Japan (with their nice reed matting).

An old guy my Dad knew still lived in a croft with dirt floors in the 1970s-blew my mind as a 5 year old when we went to visit.

ifancyashandy Sun 17-Mar-13 00:07:14

My grandmother, great aunts and aunts would take their shoes off in the house of a close family member. But they would have brought their slippers with them. Family don't judge your bunions. Well, only in a lighthearted, teasing way!

Go to someone's house for a party / dinner and take their shoes off? Not in a million - those heels were part of the outfit and mattered <north eastern>.

I learnt from the best, most glamorous women I've ever had the privilege to know.

GreenEggsAndNichts Sun 17-Mar-13 00:07:33

These threads always end up coming down to supposed class issues. smile It will now deteriorate into how posh/MC/working class we all are, and IIRC it doesn't make a whit of difference. People with dogs tend to not be as bothered by the shoe thing, as the dogs aren't exactly checking their paws at the door. Someone will mention Hyacinth Bucket if they haven't already. etc.

I can easily say I have friends from various walks of life and the majority, if not all of them, prefer shoes off. Almost none of them would dream of asking someone to do so; most just do so automatically from my experience. They certainly wouldn't ask a guest to come around to the back door for the special shoe removal ceremony, which the OP is saying she does.

I love shoe threads!

MyDarlingClementine Sun 17-Mar-13 00:08:40

personally i just dont want to waste my time getting worked up over a carpet.

i have enough things to worry about - people to worry about I mean etc, i just wouldnt want the extra stress.

i do love the feel of persian rugs under foot, and i would love one one day, so if i took shoes off it would be so i could feel it, but i wouldnt get one if it meant sweating over its preservation.

i also dont get people with clumsy childrne who fill home with cream carpets etc.

BegoniaBampot Sun 17-Mar-13 00:10:17

It's so manky to wear shoes from outside into people's houses. Lived in Asia and everyone leaves their shoes at the front door, don't even think about it. Why wouldn't you?

OrbisNonSufficit Sun 17-Mar-13 00:10:55

Oh dear. YABU. Completely unreasonable. It's CARPET. It's not the end of the world if you have to vacuum up some dirt. I hate taking my shoes off in someone else's house, it makes me feel naked. Of course, if my shoes were dirty I'd take them off, or if the house was freakishly pristine I'd ask out of politeness if it was necessary, but I always feel like someone is putting house-proudness above hospitality when they insist on it.

bubbles1231 Sun 17-Mar-13 00:16:43

general rule to follow
remove your shoes if they are dirtier than the surface you will be walking on smile

tigerdriverII Sun 17-Mar-13 00:16:54

Ok. Haven't read all the thread but what I don't get is that when you are going out, surely one of the biggest parts of yr outfit is the shoes! So when you are going to a swanky dinner partee the last thing you want to do is remove your shoes. If you don't have dirty old filthy carpets, which are minging anyway (can you tell I don't like carpets) then there isn't much of a problem. I love this thread it happens every couple of months and is very cathartic

sneezingwakesthebaby Sun 17-Mar-13 00:22:00

The people who aren't bothered about shoes on carpet but would take visibly dirty shoes off in someone else's house, what about the stuff that isn't visible but will still be on your shoe? Like spit, bacteria, germs from dog poo that might not be visible but are there. That's the stuff that bothers me about my dd licking the outside floor or licking someones shoe so it would bother me if someone trod it into my house.

I'm just curious, but where do people walk that their shoes are so filthy? I mean, I walk on ordinary city streets. And I have had bare feet on 'no shoe' homes, and my feet are black afterwards. What is the difference? Is it only that in the one case, the dirt is on my shoes, and on the other, it's on my skin?

Damash12 Sun 17-Mar-13 00:36:24

Omg, not for a minute did I expect such a vast amount of comments both slating and agreeing. Well, just to clarify a few things. Our front door leads straight onto the outside street so if wet/muddy the living room carpet gets it. Our last carpet looked a bloody mess and I was forever cleaning it so when we had our new carpet we made a rule to start using the back door. Secondly, I don't insist on people taking there shoes off, and I don't feel comfortable saying it although it is what I'm thinking :-/ . What I meant was if I saw someone had had a new carpet my manners would usually instigate me saying "ooh new carpet, shall I take my shoes off?" This does happen but when I reply "yes please" I get this sullen look as if to say "what really?"
What is wrong with wanting to keep something nice???? I worked bloody hard to pay for things in my home and I don't think it's wrong to expect people to respect that. Thirdly, yes I do have a rug and yes I do have an Hoover. I don't think this is a class thing it's more about manners although saying that I am over 40 and often visit centre parcs and yeah if i had another room it would be saved "for best" so eek maybe I do need to be on another thread about other issues. ;-)

Smudging Sun 17-Mar-13 00:43:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Smudging Sun 17-Mar-13 00:44:20

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ifancyashandy Sun 17-Mar-13 00:48:14

Surely one doesnt really expect people to remove shoes in ones pile house?

The staff are more than capable of dealing with any dirt that gets trailed in from the Boot Room, no?

No, I don't smudging, but I can completely understand why someone who does own a dog might want to take shoes off (I walk dogs fairly often and get muddy), and I can understand why a person whose mate comes in from walking a dog might want that person to remove shoes.

But how is that different from any other normal person? Surely, you know if your shoes are mucky? confused

RambleOn Sun 17-Mar-13 00:58:56

Can I come to your house? I don't mind taking my shoes off. I do currently have verrucas and a fungal nail infection though grin

BegoniaBampot Sun 17-Mar-13 01:04:21

Take your fucking shoes off, you manky lot!

BeCool Sun 17-Mar-13 01:04:37

I don't understand why you would want people's smelly rancid veruca and fungal infested feet on your beautiful carpets. shock How disgusting!

(Personally my feet are gorgeous and fresh but lots of people aren't blessed with fragrant tootsies!)

DoJo Sun 17-Mar-13 01:14:04

The one thing I do know is tat a shoes on/shoes off thread always brings out people who are convinced that their way is right, and each side seems to have a roughly fair share of them.

LadyWidmerpool Sun 17-Mar-13 01:41:23

Just say nicely 'you can leave your shoes there'. It's not the norm in the UK, people won't guess.

Damash12 Sun 17-Mar-13 01:58:45

Well, I daren't even begin to start the thread 'people who have removed shoes curling their feet up onto my new sofa' :-/ PMSL (just kidding btw)

JenaiMorris Sun 17-Mar-13 06:51:20

Beveridgethat's interesting about dirt floors as opposed to mats.

Bare feet can be pretty grim. On or off is surely a decision a guest makes, based on the state of their feet vs their shoes.

Cream carpets in high traffic areas, especially if you have children, isn't very wise though, I must say.

DizzyHoneyBee Sun 17-Mar-13 06:57:33

I would always take my shoes off when going into a house, I think it is standard practice really - DC has a sleepover going on and all her friends took their shoes off without any mention of it.

It annoys me with the double standards some people have, I mean at my Mum's house she will wear shoes when her friends come to visit and they will keep their shoes on but the DCs and I are expected to take our shoes off if we are there at the same time. I hate the implication that her friends have clean shoes whereas we obviously do not. If they have their school shoes on then they will be just as clean as anyone else's shoes.

JenaiMorris Sun 17-Mar-13 06:59:53

It's a familiarity thing, Dizzy.

DizzyHoneyBee Sun 17-Mar-13 07:02:09

I guess so, I never really thought of it like that! Daft really...

ApocalypseThen Sun 17-Mar-13 07:11:06

I don't take my shoes off at home and I don't care whether anyone else does if they come in. I think the germs-on-shoes argument is disturbing though. Some people are really freaky about over cleanliness. It's not healthy to live in a sterile environment unless medically necessary.

trinity0097 Sun 17-Mar-13 07:24:06

I don't wear outside shoes at home but don't expect visitors to take their shoes off, they can if they want but I don't ask or expect.
I think it is reasonable to ask kids to take off shoes as they tend to be more likely to be muddy.

wigglesrock Sun 17-Mar-13 07:26:29

Do you know I have never been in a house where guests take their shoes off - ever and I'm no spring chicken. I take my shoes off in my own house but it's not a cleanliness issue it's a comfy one.

JenaiMorris Sun 17-Mar-13 07:29:17

Likewise Apocalypse. And as others have mentioned what about all the nasties on bare feet?

I suppose you could install a footbath in your porch.

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 07:35:37

I love these threads-they turn up with regularity! They are rather pointless because no one ever changes their mind. I don't find it in RL, but MN seems to be full of the carpet worshippers!
I certainly don't want people tramping around my house in bare feet! I assume that they know if their shoes are dirty and would take them off if they were.
I don't like taking mine off, but will do so if asked BUT the one thing I won't do is wear the dire 'house slippers'.

JollyYellowGiant Sun 17-Mar-13 08:11:09

DH tried to tell me this was about where people lived - he grew up in the countryside and so was required to remove his shoes. But my mum grew up on a farm and didn't take off her shoes. So I reckon it's more to do with class/houseproudness.

I completely understand asking children/teens to remove muddy shoes.

I regularly sit on the ground outside and would have no qualms about then sitting on sofas.

Oh, and DS was a baby who put everything in his mouth so it was safer for guests NOT to remove their shoes as once they were off he'd make a bee line for them and chew them grin

EuroShaggleton Sun 17-Mar-13 08:17:45

It's very rude to expect guests to remove shoes. If they want to take them off, that's fine, but if they don't, it's rude.

It's cold, it's grim (shared athlete's foot anyone) and it can be embarrassing (smelly feet, holey socks, etc).

It's also terribly common. You don't see queenie getting people to toddle around Balmoral in their socks, do you?

GreenEggsAndNichts Sun 17-Mar-13 08:50:25

Now I've seen OP's response.. even as someone who removes shoes, YABU for installing cream carpet immediately inside the front door. If you have a house where the front door leads directly into the living area (which it sounds as if you do) that first area inside the door will become dirty much quicker than the rest of the carpet.

Even with shoes-off in our old house, the front hall carpet (we rented, I'd not have had the carpet) beyond the mat I had inside the front door was quite dirty by the time I cleaned the carpets when we moved out.

The carpet salesperson should have advised against it. sad

SchnitzelVonKrumm Sun 17-Mar-13 09:06:03

The front door in our old house opened from the street to the living room. One of our neighbours, a germphobic freak whose children were ill all the time because they had no immune system was so rigorously shoes-off that you basically had to remove them in the street.

Tee2072 Sun 17-Mar-13 09:25:04

This is a situation that divides many many places, not just the UK.

I used to belong to a US based site where threads about this would go for, literally, 1,000s of posts of heated argument on this issue.

I don't get it and I never will. Even my step-mother, who had whole rooms no one was allowed to go into, even her, due to 'keeping them nice' (apparently to look at as they certainly weren't for sitting) would relax her rules when she had guests. Isn't your guests' comfort the most important thing?

Shelly32 Sun 17-Mar-13 09:31:06

Just to point out that NO ONE has clean shoes unless they're fresh out of the box! I don't want to go into the bacteria on dog mess (not able to be seen by the human eye) that could be traipsed into someone's house but asides from that it is good manners to take your shoes off. In most other countries, people take their shoes off outside the house. In fairness, many of these places don't have the sewage/drainage facilities we have but at the same time, why would you want to bring anything from on the floor/outside into your home, especially if you have kids crawling around and sticking their fingers in their mouths all the time?I think it's pretty disgusting to not take your shoes off. YANBU.

Shelly32 Sun 17-Mar-13 09:33:29

Tee a guest's comfort is important but how is it so bad to ask them to take their shoes off? If they are the sort of person to mind, why not keep a pair of those hotel slippers for them to put on? My children's comfort is the most important thing to me and knowing that I have a clean (but not spotless or clinically clean) home.

Nancy66 Sun 17-Mar-13 09:34:47

A MN perennial!

But, yes, YABU

I don't expect people to remove their shoes. I think it's rude to ask and I hate it when people ask me.

Cream carpet straight from the street? I think yu're fighting a losing battle there shoes or no shoes. (I think I'm one of the few on these threads who doesn't care whether shoes are on or off)

MerryCouthyMows Sun 17-Mar-13 09:50:38

Carpet in my home was a HUGE expense. I CAN'T afford to replace it. Therefore, it's shoes off. For everybody. No exceptions. NOBODY, not even the queen, is getting past my downstairs hallway with shoes on, unless they are willing to stump up for a new carpet!!

MerryCouthyMows Sun 17-Mar-13 09:58:11

I can't afford laminate, I've only just finished paying back a loan that took me 5 years to pay off to pay for the bloody carpet.

Poorer people like me HAVE to make their carpets last, and the easiest way to do so is to make it a no-shoes house.

Plus our hovers aren't that good either, AND there's no way we can afford a vax or anything like that...

Nancy66 Sun 17-Mar-13 10:01:30

I would imagine that bare feeet in summer, with all their oils and sweat, will damage a carpet far more than a pair of well-wiped shoes.

ApocalypseThen Sun 17-Mar-13 10:06:23

Germs are normal. Even if you take off your shoes and your guests shoes and spray them all with bleach and make everyone wear special slippers and boiler suits, you won't be able to prevent some contamination.

trixymalixy Sun 17-Mar-13 10:12:02

I would always take my shoes off if asked or if entering a room that has ridiculously impractical white carpets. The only two houses I visit like this ate my SIL and one of my neighbours both of whom bought new houses where the developers installed the carpets. Why you would actually choose carpets like that downstairs is beyond me.

I hate it though. I remember the moment of panic when I had on ballet flats and had a horrible fungal nail infection and verrucas. Thankfully they are gone now, but even so when wearing ballet flats, the soles of my feet get dirty anyway.

ovenchips Sun 17-Mar-13 10:20:36

The world divides into those who think it reasonable to ask for shoes off and those who don't, and ne'er the twain shall meet. FWIW I have never asked anyone to do so and if am honest don't love it when asked to do so.

So there'll always be a divide. What I find strange though OP is taking it personally when people don't want to do it. It's nothing against you whatsoever. And what I find really absurd is OP huffing and puffing that she has worked bloody hard to buy that carpet and seeming to take it as personal attack that people are trying to ruin something for her! That seems to be deliberate looking for a way in which offence can be taken.

Damash12 Sun 17-Mar-13 10:32:45

In none of my posts did I say it was a cream carpet and it would have been silly to have purchased one with us coming straight off the street, but I did choose a lovely thick pile that looks fab with lines in when hoovered and even better with no crap all over it!! ;-)Dread to think some of the replies I'll get to having banned husband from balancing his glass of red wine on it (coaster on table, please). Oh, and as much as I love Ds aged 4 he can eat his banana and other sticky snacks at the kitchen table not near my carpet or sofa Thank you very much!! Surely that can't instigate me be hung for child cruelty???
I know a carpet and sofa are going to get wear and tear and I'm not stupid to not know having children means your fighting a losing battle but surely just trying to keep things nice/clean for as long as possible is not a crime.
May,I just also add the worst culprits for not taking there shoes off are the ones that know and those who even suggested it. Ie my bloody step dad said before we had the carpet "ya want to lock the front door and make them cone round the back and take there shoes off" low and behold if he tries the handle or knocks at the front door every time he comes and then he comes in and sits down and looks put out when Ds (well trained) says "grandad you haven't taken your shoes off". To be fair most guests/friends usually have manners and ask if they need to take their shoes off and it's family who think the rules don't apply to them.

BegoniaBampot Sun 17-Mar-13 11:17:41

I grew up in a shoes on house, never thought much about it, was just what everyone seemed to do. Moved to Asia and everyone leaves their shoes at the front door, everyone. Go to a nice party and there is a pile of shoes outside. Don't think I'll ever think that wearing shoes in someone's house is Ok, even now back living in the UK, it just seems so gross. also where some of my family live you can hardly walk for dog shit, there's no way you wouldn't be carrying some of it on your shoes.

Wouldn't ask guests in the UK to remove shoes unless it was obvious that they were filthy, but it just doesn't make sense to wear outdoor shoes inside your home. Most people I know just remove their shoes anyway.

edam Sun 17-Mar-13 11:26:47

I love the picture you are giving of your home, Damash. You should be a character in a sitcom. Actually keeping the front door locked so people are made to go round the back is way beyond the normal lower-middle class shoes off fussiness. grin As is hoovering your carpet in such a way it makes stripes. Bless you for giving me such a laugh.

A house is not a home if you cannot relax.

Constantly worrying about the sofa and carpet would eff me right off.

You will be giving DH his wine in a sippy cup next.

judgementofsolomon Sun 17-Mar-13 11:33:45

It is ridiculous and inhospitable to ask grown-ups to stand or sit around in their socks. Muddy trainers from the garden are taken off at the door, but normal house-shoes stay on. Your guests matter more than your carpet.

BlueSkySunnyDay Sun 17-Mar-13 11:55:12

I only looked at this to see how long it took for a pedant to tell you it was their instead of there grin Amazed its rude of you to ask someone to take of their shoes but not rude to correct someones grammar, weird old world.

I think its fair enough, I would be surprised if someone told me to but its not a problem (except I generally have a hole in one or the other big toe - I think they must be diamond tipped they way they cut through socks)

We were obviously not brought up to take our shoes off so it is a habit I am trying to get in to, the children wouldnt dream of wearing shoes in anyones house as they have taken them off since they were small.

We have tiles in the hall but a pale carpet in the living room and i'd rather people took their shoes off. Personally, if they dont come to that decison for themselves, then wouldnt to ask them. I just get George out and give it a going over every few weeks.

edam Sun 17-Mar-13 11:56:38

I was once asked to take my shoes off at the door of a friend's house. Looked down and her carpet clearly needed hoovering - the soles of my shoes were actually cleaner than her floor, the dirty mare!

sneezingwakesthebaby Sun 17-Mar-13 11:59:54

I've noticed a lot of people have said guests' feelings come before carpet but who are these people that would be offended by taking their outdoor shoes off inside? Why would it bother someone that their host didn't want outside stuff inside? Is it because it is taken as a subtle way of saying they think you are dirty?

DinglebertWangledack Sun 17-Mar-13 12:07:53
MyDarlingClementine Sun 17-Mar-13 12:09:35

no, its because people might not feel comfortable taking thier shoes off, you are a guest in someones house and they are not concerned about your comfort but abuot thier flooring. et ergo, et al, the flooor is more important that your comfort.

a peice of material that is immaterial is more important than thier living flesh and bloood guest.

sneezingwakesthebaby Sun 17-Mar-13 12:20:52

Hmmm I still can't get my head around it. Why would someone feel uncomfortable in socks rather than shoes when they are indoors? Unless the house was filthy dirty of course but you probably wouldnt want to stay there long anyway. Genuine question though, I'm not being an arse!

Tee2072 Sun 17-Mar-13 13:00:20

Well, maybe because some people spend time figuring out what shoes match their clothes.

Or because they have holes in their socks.

Or because they have ugly feet.

I could list a million reasons why people don't want to take off their shoes.

We are a no shoes house but I would never ask my mother in law, for example, to remove her shoes. Or my father in law. They wear shoes all the time in their own house, or hard soled slippers that they also wear in their garden so they might as well be regular shoes in terms of cleanliness.

When my oldest brother and my sister in law were here for a visit, my sister in law specifically asked me if she could keep her shoes on. I of course said 'yes, whatever makes you comfortable.'

That's being a good host, IMHO.

cumfy Sun 17-Mar-13 13:03:19

Omg, not for a minute did I expect such a vast amount of comments both slating and agreeing.

I was just staggered.

Who would have imagined ?

<Cleans loo with brush>

sneezingwakesthebaby Sun 17-Mar-13 13:09:40

Ugly feet? With socks on? I've heard it all now haha! Thanks for the examples though Tee.

SchnitzelVonKrumm Sun 17-Mar-13 13:10:00

Cumfy grin

SchnitzelVonKrumm Sun 17-Mar-13 13:10:48

Most people's feet are MINGING. I would rather not see them.

Tee2072 Sun 17-Mar-13 13:10:55

Not everyone wears socks, though, do they? Or if they are wearing heels, they may be wearing hose, which is translucent.

I can't believe I have to point this out to grown people...

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 13:12:52

Why would someone feel uncomfortable in socks rather than shoes when they are indoors?

Tee2072 has stated them. I only have to do it one house and then walk across a kitchen with flagstone floor-my feet are freezing.

Omg, not for a minute did I expect such a vast amount of comments both slating and agreeing

You obviously haven't read the many, many MN threads on the subject. I doubt if anyone changes their mind. Some people take them off, some people find it rude.

I don't really mind either way, except I prefer visitors to keep them on. BUT I do hope that people get the message that offering house slippers is dire!

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 13:14:03

If I had a lot of these fussy carpet people in my life I think I would take to just putting bare feet in shoes and then they can take their choice.

MrsBertMacklin Sun 17-Mar-13 13:15:37

Do what my great-aunt does: offer these to any visitors who don't want to take their shoes off. Really welcoming.

We don't wear shoes in the house, but I figure that the odd visitor doing so isn't going to create that much dirt/wear and tear.

sneezingwakesthebaby Sun 17-Mar-13 13:20:09

Whoops, Tee, I'm showing up the fact that me and my friends are scruffy and don't really do heels other than boots so hadnt thought of that. grin

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 13:22:02

It is better MrsBert-but I bet she doesn't get too many visitors!

IntheFrame Sun 17-Mar-13 13:23:01

sneezingwakesthebaby Stop with the smug comments.I have severe bunions on both feet. They are very obvious and because one toe goes over the top of the others my socks usually get a hole worn through very quickly.

I hate shoes off houses.

Does no one ever sit outside on the grass or on steps or statues etc?

TheBigJessie Sun 17-Mar-13 13:30:14

These threads go on for ages. They always do. I can't see the viewpoint of a shoes-on person, any more than they can see my viewpoint as a shoes-off person. For example, someone has already asked why crawling babies need a clean carpet as there's dog faeces outside, completely missing the point that we don't allow crawling babies to crawl down Dogshit Alley for precisely that reason!

I do like heavily pregnant as an excuse for retaining shoes, though... Oh the horror! I would have taken my shoes off in a shoes-on home while heavily pregnant, for my own personal comfort, because even my plimsolls or comfy trainers were killing me.

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 13:31:06

I remember when Sarah Brown had to remove her shoes on a PM visit somewhere and the press were quick to print photos of her bunions!-not everyone is happy to show them.

INeverSaidThat Sun 17-Mar-13 13:32:36

It is extremely unusual for people not to take their shoes off when they come into our house. I tell my old MIL not to bother though as she is too creaky. It is not an issue for me really.

Our light cream living room carpet is four years old and still nearly spotless.

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 13:32:49

They will be handing out boiler suits for white sofas next! Or be like a sad friend of mine whose mother makes the grandchildren go in the back door and stay in the kitchen!

WorriedTeenMum Sun 17-Mar-13 13:33:01

The weird thing isnt the shoes on/off.

The weird thing is expecting people to know what you them want to do without telling them.

sneezingwakesthebaby Sun 17-Mar-13 13:33:52

Erm, I'm not being smug. I don't examine my guests feet and label them ugly or not. I don't notice if they have bunions or toes going over other toes because I don't look and I don't think of feet as pretty or ugly. That's why I said I've heard it all now because I am surprised that people even care to judge the way feet look and label them ugly or pretty.

MrsSchadenfreude Sun 17-Mar-13 13:36:54

I periodically get eczema on my foot and it oozes and makes a nice damp patch on my sock. Would you rather have my drippy eczema foot juices on your carpet, OP, or my cleanish shoes?

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 13:37:32

They obviously do-or why would Sarah Brown's feet end up on national TV?

TheBigJessie Sun 17-Mar-13 13:37:45

Are there people out there who still buy white sofas?

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 13:38:01

It was in answer to sneezing

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 13:39:00

Pale colour sofas then. Although my neighbours have white and let me sit on them and keep my shoes on.

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 13:39:37

Keep shoes on feet-I don't put them on the sofas!

LondonNinja Sun 17-Mar-13 13:42:38

Grew up in a shoes-on house. Now have cream carpet and young child. Now a shoes-off house because a) I don't like people tramping their disgusting pavement dirt/mud/water into my home, b) it pisses me off that I have to clean up after them and c) it's my house! I do ask if people want slippers, though, as I want them to be comfortable and to feel warm. My DF has a bad back so I take off his shoes for him and put on his slippers for him when he comes over.

If I go to a house where the occupants are shoes-on, I'll keep mine on, as I don't like walking around picking up bits of their shoe dirt on my socks or slippers!

LondonNinja Sun 17-Mar-13 13:43:29

socks or tights, I meant. But I have now started to take slippers for me and DD.

BegoniaBampot Sun 17-Mar-13 13:47:08

So how would you feel if you visited a Muslim or Asian persons house where it's usually expected to remove shoes - would you all feel insulted or uncomfortable? Would be interesting to see a study on world show etiquette. I would imagine the majority take their shoes off.

Pleaseandthankyou Sun 17-Mar-13 13:51:58

You'll never throw a good party if the Jimmy Choos ( or Top Shop) heels have to be taken off at the door. Teenage boys trainers on the other hand are a different matter

sneezingwakesthebaby Sun 17-Mar-13 13:55:53

I didn't say other people did or didn't judge feet, exotic. I said I didn't and said I was surprised to find that people do judge feet as this is the first time I've come across people describing feet as ugly. So while I gather now that people do judge feet, I was surprised by this fact and that's why I said "I've heard it all now".

LondonNinja Sun 17-Mar-13 13:56:57

I think it depends on what their flooring is like, too. I feel less comfortable walking without shoes on a stone/tiled/wooden floor than on carpet, as they're generally cold. I wear two pairs of socks to visit some friends (who are shoes off people). If I had a cold floor, I might rethink my shoes-off rule, but my carpet is nice and warm (and clean).

crashdoll Sun 17-Mar-13 14:01:30

I got three quarters of the way through and thought that we hadn't had the "dog crap and crawling babies" reason yet but then it arrived!

I have severe arthritis in my feet and it fucking hurts to walk barefoot. It takes me forever to get shoes on and off too, so I have to do that awkward hoping thing and wishing I was at least allowed to sit down. I used to babysit for the kids of the most anal woman on the planet. I took slippers with me because I wasn't allowed shoes on her laminate flooring and she checked the soles of my slippers for cleanliness every single time!

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 14:03:51

So how would you feel if you visited a Muslim or Asian persons house where it's usually expected to remove shoes

When in Rome...............
You follow the culture.
It is not part of our culture. Keeping Up Appearances was a comedy because Hyacinth Bucket wasn't normal! Her guests were very uncomfortable, but her house was very clean and tidy. No one visited unless they were press ganged!

BegoniaBampot Sun 17-Mar-13 14:04:22

I've been to plenty a good party where everyone was barefoot, not a Jimmy Choo in sight - unless they were left in the pile at the front door.

BigcatLittlecat Sun 17-Mar-13 14:10:55

I always take my shoes off in my house as I'm relaxing but I wouldn't expect others too. I don't like going to houses where I have to take my shoes off. I'm a grown up!
What about if you have a dinner party of any kind of party where you want people to dress up. Shoes are often part of the outfit!
Some people believe asking people to remove their shoes is 'posh' when the reality is it is anything but posh!

TheBigJessie Sun 17-Mar-13 14:10:55

crawldoll Nah, my post was precipitated by another post, about a quarter of the way in. wink

jamdonut Sun 17-Mar-13 14:12:29

I grew up in a house where we had to take our shoes off, when we got in...but not necessarily immediately you walked through the front door!!
But it was considered rude to ask a guest to take them off...unless they were close family, and had probably brought their own slippers anyway,because they were staying a bit longer than a visitor.

crashdoll Sun 17-Mar-13 14:16:58

The reason why I LOVE these threads is because many of the shoes off people are not doing it for cultural reasons but for carpet worshipping reasons. I respect culture. I also respect all the people I am visiting and would take my shoes off for the PFC people but I would inwardly judge them.

specialsubject Sun 17-Mar-13 14:17:05

everyone wipes their feet. People in silly heels or ballet flats who have clearly been nowhere except the shops can keep them on - unless the heels will damage flooring. Ditto the elderly or disabled who are unlikely to have been hillwalking.

people with a life who have been on grass or mud, or walked further than from car to shop, take off their trainers which can NEVER be wiped free of mud on just a doormat.

TheBigJessie Sun 17-Mar-13 14:22:38

Judge away. Judge me for not having my own house. Judge me for having a deposit with the landlord which I will need back for my next house. Judge me for not being able to afford regular carpet cleaning. Judge me for living in a damp house anyway, in which I already have to spend money on battling the mould, for the sake of my children's lungs. Judge me for thusly wanting to avoid regularly soaking the carpet.

BegoniaBampot Sun 17-Mar-13 14:26:40

'What about if you have a dinner party of any kind of party where you want people to dress up. Shoes are often part of the outfit'

I wonder how people all over the world who go to dinner parties cope with taking their shoes off, fact is they don't give it a second thought and it's probably more common to take shoes off worldwide than keep them on so not a weird concept. I know in this country it is maybe mainly the norm and at least not unusual to keep your shoes on but I don't understand the snoty, superior comments saying people are rude to expect no shoes or they feel I insulted almost outraged, that people think they are posh etc. just smacks of little England syndrome.

crashdoll Sun 17-Mar-13 14:29:18

Judge away. Judge me for not having my own house. Judge me for having a deposit with the landlord which I will need back for my next house. Judge me for not being able to afford regular carpet cleaning. Judge me for living in a damp house anyway, in which I already have to spend money on battling the mould, for the sake of my children's lungs. Judge me for thusly wanting to avoid regularly soaking the carpet.

Must you be such a martyr? I've already said I'd take my damn shoes off and if they were obviously dirty and wet, I wouldn't even have to be asked.

TheBigJessie Sun 17-Mar-13 14:31:13

You also said you'd inwardly judge me. I thought I'd give you the full picture to judge on. It's not carpet-worshipping. It's motivated by the worship of filthy lucre. Get it right!

TheBigJessie Sun 17-Mar-13 14:33:23

The reference to "regularly soaking the carpet" refers to Rug Doctors and their ilk, by the way. I had to put the heating on in June, to get it dry!

sneezingwakesthebaby Sun 17-Mar-13 14:35:35

I think there's a bit of strange logic here. Some people have implied if its a cultural thing to take shoes off, they respect it and wouldn't mind taking their shoes off but if its for germs and hygiene they would inwardly be judging. A lot of other cultures that take shoes off do it because of hygiene and cleanliness and protecting the floor (like Japan) which are the same reasons a lot of us on this thread have given for having no shoes in our homes. It feels a bit odd to know that if I asked for shoes off if I was Japanese (even if I was living in the UK), I wouldn't be judged as it is culture and tradition but because I'm not Japanese, I'm a terrible host despite the reasons for shoes off being the same.

Whydobabiescry Sun 17-Mar-13 14:36:15

YABU

If you want guests to go shoeless in your home you should supply slippers it's rude to expect guests to sit with cold feet.

ivykaty44 Sun 17-Mar-13 14:36:58

Op do you supply slippers? Last time I was asked to take my shoes off I willing did so and then cut my foot on glass on the floor.

Therefore I am now happy to take my shoes of where ever asked as long as slippers are supplied for me to protect my totsies

TheBigJessie Sun 17-Mar-13 14:38:55

Well, this is like vegetarianism. There's a lot of people who think it's more important to respect the opinion of someone who simply doesn't eat meat because they were raised in a non-meat-eating culture, than the feelings of someone who has genuinely thought about it and has arrived at the decision independently.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sun 17-Mar-13 14:47:57

I started a thread recently asking if it would be bonkers to cut the feet off all my tights (was suffering from toe-hole strangulation) and wear them with socks.

Was informed by a lovely poster that as no one knew what was under boots then it was indeed a perfectly reasonable idea.

I'd feel such a numpty now taking my boots off in someone's house and exposing my jaggedy cut footless tights and goldfish socks.

hmm
grin

I have to admit that I avoid one friend's house because she makes you take shoes off and her laminate is always freezing cold. Can't stay more than a few minutes. Mind, she also makes her son (9) take his clothes off the second he gets in and wander about in his vest and pants - even when he has mates over.

confused
sad

LondonNinja Sun 17-Mar-13 14:48:43

I have to admit that I avoid one friend's house because she makes you take shoes off and her laminate is always freezing cold. Can't stay more than a few minutes. Mind, she also makes her son (9) take his clothes off the second he gets in and wander about in his vest and pants - even when he has mates over.

WTAF?

consonant Sun 17-Mar-13 14:55:51

if you have downstairs carpet totally reasonable to ask people to remove shoes. Less so if you have hard floors of any description.

TheBigJessie Sun 17-Mar-13 15:00:29

I have to admit that I avoid one friend's house because she makes you take shoes off and her laminate is always freezing cold. Can't stay more than a few minutes. Mind, she also makes her son (9) take his clothes off the second he gets in and wander about in his vest and pants - even when he has mates over. What the hell is wrong with her?

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sun 17-Mar-13 15:05:09

What the hell is wrong with her?

Don't know.

confused

Think she just hates dirt/doing laundry. Is not even like her house is immaculate, I've chucked socks away after a trip round there before.

We do parent very differently, I just assumed that was one of the things we differend on. Didn't realise it was odd until I thought about her shoes off thing.

countrykitten Sun 17-Mar-13 15:24:16

Carpets are bloody horrible things anyway - full of germs and filth and even if you think that your naff cream carpets are clean...they really are not. Astonished that so many people will put their ugly carpet worship above the comfort and relaxation of their guests. I would not dream of asking anyone to take off their shoes at the door - it is RUDE!

And I am not surprised that the OP is the type who has coasters (confused) and makes her DH and DC feel uncomfortable in their own house so that she can 'keep it nice'. Bleurrgh.

MerryCouthyMows Sun 17-Mar-13 15:31:17

I don't see it as being 'precious' if you actually can't afford to replace the carpet.

How can it be seen to be rude to follow how things are done in someone else's home? I think it's RUDE for a guest to make their host feel uncomfortable in their own home. Which it does, for me - I feel uncomfortable about the dirt and wear on something I just will not be able to replace if a guest keeps their shoes on.

How is THAT not rude?!

I find that it's generally those that can afford to replace a carpet that keep their shoes on, whilst often (not always, some people with a shoes-off rule are more concerned with germs) it's the people for whom a carpet is a major investment that can't easily be afforded that insist on a shoes off policy.

It's NOT about being 'PFC' at all - it's the worry that it will create do much wear on the carpet that it will need replacing sooner than it can be afforded.

countrykitten Sun 17-Mar-13 15:39:51

I am pretty bloody sure that shoes on or shoes off the wear on your precious carpet would be the same. Bare feet or leather soles on shoes - I really cannot see the difference at all, the person still weighs the same and will 'wear' those precious woollen threads down just the same amount. Jeez.

Damash12 Sun 17-Mar-13 15:55:52

Edam- :-)your welcome, the thread as given me much amusement since initially being pissed off about my £24.99 sq yard shadow grey carpet being trampled on! And for those that had the audacity to say I got it from carpet right, how dare you ?... It was Scs!!!!!! Tongue firmly in cheek!!
Oh and what a fab suggestion... A sippy cup, now why hadn't I thought of that!

TheFallenMadonna Sun 17-Mar-13 16:09:55

It's one of those conundrums really.

It's rude to insist guests remove their shoes, but it's rude to insist on traipsing over your host's carpet when you know they would rather you didn't.

It's just being nice, surely? I would tend to remove my shoes, because I know a lot of people care a lot about it. You could make a self deprecating remark about new carpets.

Does it really cause so much hassle in real life? I am struggling to think of ever being upset by it.

What would upset me though would be to be expected to wear a pair of slippers that someone else had provided. I would wear them, because I am polite, but I'd be wondering who had sweated into them (I'm not a fan of slippers...)

AnnaRack Sun 17-Mar-13 16:39:38

If I am asked to take shoes off I will do it but hope their floors are CLEAN, no way am I walking on dirty floors. If I did see any dirt I would think hmmm - not keeping to their side of the bargain!

AnnaRack Sun 17-Mar-13 16:41:21

Oh and I would not wear communal slippers - how gross!

crashdoll Sun 17-Mar-13 17:00:56

I just don't see how shoes ruin carpets or make them oh so dirty. To be frank, even at shoes off houses, I still get grubby socks. Dirt happens and so does wear and tear to carpet - shoes are irrelevant IMO.

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 17:10:38

And burn your communal slippers- I agree - they are gross.

TheBigJessie Sun 17-Mar-13 17:36:13

MerryCouthyMows you've hit the nail on the head. On the last shoes-in-the-house thread I participated on, someone told me patronisingly that Rug Doctor hire was cheap enough to afford every six months, and that was what they did. Like hell is it... Especially if you have no car, and thus have to take it home and back in a taxi.

Maybe my carpet isn't immaculate but people's muddy shoes wouldn't improve the situation, would it? Outside shoes have more grip than slippers or socked feet (try a comparison in icy weather if you don't believe me) and thus are going to cause more wear and tear. This is important, because there's a grey area between "acceptable wear and tear" and "damage caused by carelessness". Even the people around me who have houses save up for carpets. In one instance, for over 25 years... It's not Axminister, but it's nice and she values it!
She's got another carpet to replace still, that's over thirty years old and looks it now.

OrbisNonSufficit Sun 17-Mar-13 17:46:34

I love this thread. Carpet and what may tread on it, up there with peace in the middle east as an unsolvable dilemma...

And yes, communal shoes of any kind are revolting. Agree with exoticfruits. Anyone who makes me take my shoes off in their house has to deal with my bare feet, I'm NOT putting on someone else's slippers and I refuse to walk around in socks.

ivykaty44 Sun 17-Mar-13 17:48:01

goodness no new slippers each time the disposable type, like you get at hotels

JollyYellowGiant Sun 17-Mar-13 17:52:07

I can't afford to buy new carpets regularly. That's why we got laminate. It's easy to clean properly and I don't have to cling film it before allowing my two year old to have a snack or wear shoes in his own house.

We never have wet puddles in our hallway because I have a good doormat.

livinginwonderland Sun 17-Mar-13 17:54:28

we have a "no shoes" rule in our house but we only make an issue of it if their shoes are clearly really muddy or if they're going to go upstairs (no carpet on our ground floor at all). if someone's walked from their car to the house and is only going to the dining room or living room, i don't see the point in asking.

pigsDOfly Sun 17-Mar-13 18:14:23

No shoes in my house either. I live on a main road and what with the grit (yes our paths were gritted), the pee, the spit and the dog shit I really prefer people not to wear their shoes on my very pale carpet.

Years ago I was having a lunch for about 20 people (different house) and I suddenly noticed the awful stink of dog shit. Probably made me look a bit pathetic but asked everyone to check their shoes, and low and behold, under the table one of my guest's shoes was absolutely cover in the stuff and he'd walk all round my house.

Quite honestly after that experience, if people take offence at my asking them to remove their shoes, well, tough shit!

FierceBadIggi Sun 17-Mar-13 18:31:27

How can it be seen to be rude to follow how things are done in someone else's home?
I do like to take my bra off of an evening. If you visit me I hope you will do the same so I don't feel uncomfortable.
wink

TheFallenMadonna Sun 17-Mar-13 19:04:20

Really? Disposible slippers? I mean, less gross, but it's making me put something on that I really do not like.

I think slippers (unless offered as entirely voluntary) are a step too far.

OrbisNonSufficit Sun 17-Mar-13 19:13:11

Ew pigs that's wrong. I'm not surprised you're scarred. Did he not smell it himself (speaking as a person with a barely functional sense of smell, I'm completely paranoid about that kind of thing, surely other people check too?).

littlemonkeychops Sun 17-Mar-13 19:24:39

I'm with you OP, not taking shoes off indoors is so gross, unless you shampoo your carpets every few days the amount of yuk ingrained in the carpet is just bleurgh. Can't believe people think wiping your feet on a matt makes them clean! If that was true then there'd be no need to wash your hands after going to the loo as "hey i can't see any dirt on my hands so they must be clean". It's not being precious, just basic hygiene.

I just wear socks at home, play on the floor lots with my toddler and often sit on the floor if we have a house full, why would i want to sit ongrime walked in on other people's shoes??

Those that don't remove shoes, would you walk around barefoot outside and not feel the grime on your feet was a bit ikk? Same thing to me.

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 19:33:01

If the weather is suitable I am am quite happy to walk about in bare foot.
I also can't see why you want me barefoot on your carpets in the summer, rather than a pair of sandals or flip flops.

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 19:33:36

Sorry- walk outside in bare feet.

countrykitten Sun 17-Mar-13 19:43:20

In wander around in the summer with bare feet all the time - can't see the issue myself.

Here is a question for the legions of carpet lovers on here. Why, oh why, since you are all obsessed with keeping them 'nice' do you buy pale coloured carpets....? It seems that some of you live your lives in a constant panic that your wonderful white carpet or sofa will gain a mark or blemish of some sort and then you would probably have a meltdown. This is no way to live - and I would HATE to live with a person like that, it must be so stressful for your families.

So..pale carpets....?

I wouldn't wear shoes in my house and DH and the DCs take theirs off but forcing guests to do so is fucking rude.

pigsDOfly Sun 17-Mar-13 20:07:05

No Orbis, I don't think he did smell it.

Oddly enough he seemed to somehow be drawn to nasty smelly stuff. If there was any in the street, as sure as eggs are eggs, he would tread in it. Strange.

OrbisNonSufficit Sun 17-Mar-13 20:39:37

pigs How odd. I sense (pun intended, although happily smell-internet not yet invented) he may be a person who shouldn't be invited inside!

FridgePervert Sun 17-Mar-13 21:27:26

I can see the logic in removing shoes however I would be totally horrified if I was unexpectedly asked to remove mine. I HATE my feet to the point that
I don't even go barefoot in my own house because I can't bear to look at them,
so to have to do so in someone else's house would be eeeeeeeek!!.
If I think I may have to take my shoes off I usually have a pair of slipper sock things in my bag but I would hate to have to remove my shoes if I didn't have them <weirdo>

I can see reasons behind a no shoes rule, but imposing it onto guests is a bit ott imo. The carpet can be hoovered and spot cleaned of necessary and i would find it really po faced if someone expected me to remove my shoes.

It is the OPs house and I really don't think she is being the slightest bit unreasonable to ask people to remove their shoes when they come in.

I ALWAYS take my shoes off going into a house, whether asked to or not.

How RUDE to tramp dirt over someone else's carpet, why would you do that?

countrykitten Sun 17-Mar-13 21:43:16

I would ask you to damn well put them back on if you did that at my house! No desire whatsoever to see your feet.

WafflyVersatile Sun 17-Mar-13 21:49:18

You'd think people who were so particularly house proud and like cream carpets would have the good sense to install a door mat for people to wipe their shoes on just in case.

countrykitten Sun 17-Mar-13 21:54:17

You would think that wouldn't you? Also none of the coaster using cream carpet clan have said why they chose such silly colours for their carpets....

BegoniaBampot Sun 17-Mar-13 22:04:35

I don't see it about being house proud and protecting carpets (though makes sense) - just why would you wear outside shoes in someone's house. I just think because it's acceptable here people don't really think it through but just do that gut thing of rejecting something 'different'. It did take me living in a country where it is the cultural norm to remove shoes to get it though and it seemed to make perfect sense. Even all my western and UK friends adopted the habit when they could have just continued doing as they had probably done at home - as they realised it made sense.

pigsDOfly Sun 17-Mar-13 22:16:11

It's nothing to do with being 'houseproud'. It's just the idea of bringing all the filth in from the street.

I sit on the floor quite a lot, when I'm playing with the dog, watching television. I wouldn't sit on the ground in the street, why would I want to sit on a carpet in my own house that has all the disgusting filth from the street on it.

WafflyVersatile Sun 17-Mar-13 22:18:20

Well I've had a friend make me do it for over 10 years and I've still not seen the need to make people do it in mine. But then I haven't put cream carpet in high tread areas.

If I lived somewhere where it was the norm then I would do it, of course. But it's not the norm here. I always take my shoes off in my own house as soon as I get in. It's more comfortable.

Even when I was growing up in the countryside we only took shoes off in the (tiled) lobby if they were muddy or snowy. And guests were not expected to do this. They would wipe their shoes on the door mat we provided for the purpose and scrape or knock them on the step outside if necessary. Dirt being tramped into the house was rarely a problem except perhaps when my brothers were teenagers and that was into the tiled kitchen.

exoticfruits Sun 17-Mar-13 22:21:01

I hope that you would put them back on if I asked you to, LilyAmaryllis! shock I certainly want you to keep them on in my house!

crashdoll Sun 17-Mar-13 22:22:48

I'd rather someone wore shoes than bare feet on the carpet. <shudders>

FierceBadIggi Sun 17-Mar-13 22:58:43

PigsDOfly, do you not see anything odd about making visitors remove shoes while you have a dog in the house? Do you wipe his/her feed, put pants on?

sneezingwakesthebaby Sun 17-Mar-13 23:00:35

I must admit I don't know what I'll do when summer rolls round and everyone wears sandals. I don't want shoes on my floor and bare feet that aren't mine or dd's makes my eyes twitch a bit. Does this mean I have to get those disposable slippers? :/ Shoes on the floor just isn't an option.

TheVermiciousKnid Sun 17-Mar-13 23:02:26

We usually advise visitors to keep their shoes on in our house and to wipe their feet on the way out.

GreenEggsAndNichts Sun 17-Mar-13 23:07:56

Yes sorry, I do shoes-off in my own house (though as I've said upthread, I don't ask visitors to do so) and most other peoples' houses, but if they have dogs I really prefer not to. Their floors are often full of surprises and dirty unless they do their floors daily. If you require all shoes off from humans, then I'd hope you wouldn't have dogs who've walked outside allowed in the areas where you're expecting the humans to walk around in stocking (or worse, bare) feet. bleh.

Mintyy Sun 17-Mar-13 23:11:12

Its completely lower middle class and below to expect guests to remove their shoes in your home smile.

GreenEggsAndNichts Sun 17-Mar-13 23:12:42

Vermincious grin

I'm not precious about floors. Our family is shoes-off (DH is German, as I've said, and it's quite normal there) and we're happy for people to take theirs off as well, but I'd never ask them to. I'll be honest, I like it because I'm not the best housekeeper around and it gives me one less thing to have to chase after all the time.

GreenEggsAndNichts Sun 17-Mar-13 23:17:04

Mintty yes I don't know, DH is German and I'm American so I think we fall into 'foreigner' class over here. smile We are probably MC but as I said, I don't expect people to take their shoes off. I couldn't ask a guest to do so; in fact, when DF visits, he might actually sleep with his on, I'm not sure.

The German half of the family is fastidious about it. As you'd expect.

BegoniaBampot Sun 17-Mar-13 23:18:23

Minty -"Its completely lower middle class and below to expect guests to remove their shoes in your home ."

Is that supposed to be an insult? Consider myself WC - should I feel insulted?

Mintyy Sun 17-Mar-13 23:22:18

No its supposed to be a joke.

louisianablue2000 Sun 17-Mar-13 23:35:49

I think it's so precious to demand people take their shoes off to protect your carpet. I wouldn't wear dirty shoes in someone's house but if I'm nicely dressed my shoes are clean. There's an episode of Sex and the City about this!

Even worse are people who insist on removing their shoes uninvited when they come to my house. It feels overfamiliar and makes me itch, yeuch. I never wear shoes at home normally (because it's home) but put them on when we have people coming round so they don't think they can take their shoes off.

OrbisNonSufficit Sun 17-Mar-13 23:37:22

Tee hee hee someone said the 'c' word...

sneezingwakesthebaby Sun 17-Mar-13 23:40:00

If your shoes have been outside, they aren't clean.

pigsDOfly Sun 17-Mar-13 23:52:52

No Fierce, dog's feet are cleaned before coming into carpeted part of the house when she's been outside.

WafflyVersatile Mon 18-Mar-13 00:02:30

And her bum?

pigsDOfly Mon 18-Mar-13 00:19:50

Didn't say I was neurotic about it Waffly, or particularly logical. I just don't like people's shoes all over the carpet, especially if it's been snowing or raining.

Anyway, my dog's bum is delightful. smile

WafflyVersatile Mon 18-Mar-13 00:45:29

I remember a particularly enjoyable routine of Stewart Lee's where he goes on about his mum's cat's paw towel she kept in the downstairs wc.

WafflyVersatile Mon 18-Mar-13 00:46:43

Other people's homes* are a foreign country.

*and families.

crashdoll Mon 18-Mar-13 09:49:31

PigsDOfly I also wipe my dog's paws and also wipe my shoes. Same thing, right? Incidentally, the grass is so wet and muddy in the garden, I am considering getting the dog wellies, so perhaps I am PFLF (precious first laminate flooring). shock

LondonNinja Mon 18-Mar-13 10:13:38

I'm almost tempted to bring in the 'what do we do if other people's homes are too cold/hot?' and 'can we wear coats in others' freezing homes, or is it rude to try to stay warm?' debate. That was just as polarised.

But I won't grin

exoticfruits Mon 18-Mar-13 10:25:24

You just do exactly the same-put up with it. I will take my shoes off if asked-I just try and avoid visiting in the future!

KellyElly Mon 18-Mar-13 11:39:10

I personally think it's rude to ask your visitors to take their shoes off. Unless they have been trekking through a bog surely a wipe on the mat will suffice.

themaltesecat Mon 18-Mar-13 12:12:48

If you expect people to take off their shoes, you have to provide slippers.

zlist Mon 18-Mar-13 12:35:48

I don't like shoes on carpets but I also don't like asking guests to remove their shoes. For this reason I have hard floors over nearly all of the downstairs on the house. It is also a pain to keep taking my own shoes off and on if coming in and out of the house a lot!
I usually stop say I will take my shoes off (before I actually do it) if I am invited into part of someones home that has carpet - if they don't want me to then they simply stop me and I'll keep them on (unless it is a party where everyone else is keeping their shoes on!).

When I take my shoes off I am wearing SOCKS... (not grossing you out with my bare feet)

TheBigJessie Mon 18-Mar-13 12:49:01

Here is a question for the legions of carpet lovers on here. Why, oh why, since you are all obsessed with keeping them 'nice' do you buy pale coloured carpets....? It seems that some of you live your lives in a constant panic that your wonderful white carpet or sofa will gain a mark or blemish of some sort and then you would probably have a meltdown. This is no way to live - and I would HATE to live with a person like that, it must be so stressful for your families.

I don't and have never bought anything cream, whether sofa or carpet. My landlords, on the other hand... Do you get the point I'm making?

When I have bought carpets, they were dark red or blue (it cost £100 for the entire flat) and I still didn't want people wearing shoes inside. I don't want to sit on dirt from outside while watching television in my dressing gown.

exoticfruits Mon 18-Mar-13 13:10:52

NO,NO and NO! I do wish people would get the message that although we may not like it we take them off-however I am not going to wear anyone else's slippers.
I am surprised that people wear socks all year. From May to September I have shoes on bare feet.

Jins Mon 18-Mar-13 13:33:17

Oooh I love a shoe thread.

We're a shoes off on carpet house. Most visitors don't get past the hall or the kitchen so the issue doesn't arise. One room downstairs has carpet and most people take their shoes off when they go in. If they don't I'm not overly concerned.

In other people's houses I try to do what they are doing. If there's piles of shoes all over the hall then I take mine off. If everyone is tramping round in shoes then I leave mine on. (If I spot a Henry Hoover I'm never happy about taking my shoes off because the carpetes will be dirty smile)

In all I'm pretty easy going but what I WON'T do is put a pair of manky guest slippers on my feet. Oh no. Slippers are fucking revolting things and I'm not padding round someone's house in a pair.

Also if someone is hovering preciously and paying more attention to the carpet than the conversation I will laugh at them with DH when we're home and never go back smile

Shodan Mon 18-Mar-13 13:46:08

I personally feel that demanding/asking people to remove their shoes is unspeakably rude, but if you really, really feel that your made to walk on floor is that precious, then why not provide these? I wouldn't (and don't) put on slippers that may have been worn by other people, but would be happy to put these on.

I do have friends that remove their own shoes in my house- that's fine. Some people take their shoes off in their home, making it clear that they would prefer that I do too, but never demand it- so I take mine off, as a matter of courtesy, though I would rather leave them on. Sometimes I remember to take my own slippers to their house, in which case it's all well and good.

But I really don't want other people's bare feet on my rug, tbh. Who knows what nasty foot infections they may have?

weegiemum Mon 18-Mar-13 13:53:23

I really can't remove my shoes. I've got a disability which affects my feet (numbness) and also my balance. I can walk in specially chosen shoes (I don't need medically ordered shoes) but tend to stagger/fall if barefoot, or in socks or light slippers. Had to wear shoe covers when dd2 had an anaesthetic and I slipped and fell.

If you're unhappy having me in your house with shoes on, then thanks so much but I'll not come. I'm not prepared to be embarrassed by slipping and falling to keep your floor clean!

I wear them in my house too. You might want to avoid it, the carpets might be perfectly clean minting!

TattyDevine Mon 18-Mar-13 14:31:04

Uh, I don't get this whole carpet hating thing nor do I get the take your shoes off carpet worshipping.

I have some carpet in my house (not much actually, mainly wood floors downstairs except for the formal sitting area) and I don't make people take off shoes. Why? Because I think its rude, and because my floors get cleaned regularly regardless of who has or hasn't walked on them.

I don't particularly want people taking their shoes off, though if they are more comfortable doing so then they are welcome to do so.

I once had an electrician come to do something downstairs in a wooded floor area, and he took his shoes off. He was being polite I appreciate, but he had such sweaty feet he left big damp footprints about bless him. Those of you who think shoes are dirty would possibly be inclined to run a mop around after seeing that too no doubt...in which case you wonder what the point of dictating either way is.

I guess not everyone has damp socks like my sweaty teddy bear of a sparkie but there you go...

mechanicalsam Sat 17-Aug-13 03:44:03

I do hate these people who think of ones floor coverings being of no importance and should be allowed to walk across them wearing their outdoor shoes.
Firstly someone’s home is not an industrial workplace, it’s for them to live in and to have a privacy away from the humdrum of life. It’s also up to the individual how they want to treat their home. It’s not for people to comment as to what it is that they think they should do in someones home.
I think wearing shoes indoors is dirty, it makes me feel dirty and I have seen homes that have carpets that are rotten due to the constant traffic of outdoor footwear.
If someone wants to keep their home clean and choose not to wear their shoes indoors then that should be respected. The indoors shoe wearers of this country, think that a vacuum cleaner is going to pick everything up in a carpet and it will be restored to a clean pristine condition. WRONG!! a vacuum cleaner has a dust bag the operative word is on dust, not dog shit, oil and grease, any form of chemical, remnants of peoples vomit, spit and bodily fluids. Not to say foxes and other animals urine and dead meat they have scavenged from a bin. We have Rats who leave veils disease, very nasty.
Think of this, would you drive you car or motorcycle through your house, what’s on the tyres.
We like to lay on our carpets, the grand children play with their toys and as for one who commented to say that the kids do this outside, it’s not until a thorough inspection of the ground is made before this happens.
I do ask these indoor shoe wearers to get a wet clean white dishcloth and then clean the bottom of their shoes, just see the dirt which has been impregnated into the sole.
I think if people consider that they will upset their friends by asking them to remove their shoes, then these people, are not friends worth having, as they bear no respect for the way you live.
The shoes wearers just walk in and say goodbye, leaving the home owner with the great expense of cleaning or replacing their carpets, to bring their home back to how they like it.
I can only say that people who go straight into a house with their shoes on are too bone idle to take them off, have no respect for their home or other peoples. I wish that we could find a way of showing them the error of their ways and change their attitude to one of respect for other peoples property and health. After all, it took years to stop the smokers damaging our health

Bogeyface Sat 17-Aug-13 03:51:48

I find it a very English thing - people just tramp all their filth and shit through your house. This is the only place in the world where people are not brought up wit ha common set of values to respect other peoples homes.

biscuit

The shoes wearers just walk in and say goodbye, leaving the home owner with the great expense of cleaning or replacing their carpets, to bring their home back to how they like it.

After one visit from a shoe wearer?! OTT much?!

I can only say that people who go straight into a house with their shoes on are too bone idle to take them off, have no respect for their home or other peoples. I wish that we could find a way of showing them the error of their ways and change their attitude to one of respect for other peoples property and health. After all, it took years to stop the smokers damaging our health

So wearing shoes in your house is akin to someone sparking up in your lounge? Prepared to be corrected but AFAIK dirty shoes dont give you cancer grin

treaclesoda Sat 17-Aug-13 07:12:36

I have never ever been in a house where people remove their shoes on entering, its like some mythical tradition that I've only ever come across on mumsnet. But if someone asked me to I'd be happy to oblige.

I'd be mightily pissed off if they expected me to guess that they wanted me to take my shoes off though, and then bitched about me because I didn't read their minds.

daisychain01 Sat 17-Aug-13 07:36:37

I dont ask people if they want me to take my shoes off, I just do it anyway. Nobody is offended then! No big deal, it just shows consideration IMO

Dubjackeen Sat 17-Aug-13 07:44:49

I once had an electrician come to do something downstairs in a wooded floor area, and he took his shoes off. He was being polite I appreciate, but he had such sweaty feet he left big damp footprints about bless him. Those of you who think shoes are dirty would possibly be inclined to run a mop around after seeing that too no doubt...in which case you wonder what the point of dictating either way is.
Tatty, this made me smile. Does anyone remember Hyacinth Bucket forcing a guy to remove his shoes and he had a hole in the toe of his socks.
I haven't come across the removing of shoes in anyone's home, except on mumsnet. If someone wanted me to do it, I would want them to tell me, rather than fume quietly because I hadn't done it.

SillyTilly123 Sat 17-Aug-13 07:52:33

My friend usually wears her boots/shoes in my house-even upstairs ans it pees me off. However I found it was the lesser of 2 evils when one day she took her shoes off (bare feet) and then proceded to tell me about her 5 veruccas shock envy . Had to dettol all the downstairs floors when she left.

SillyTilly123 Sat 17-Aug-13 07:55:58

Oh and fwiw, I dont mind shoes downstairs, but think upstairs should be shoe free. I dont mind taking my shoes off in someones house, though would prefer a bit of warning so i've not got holey socky on.blush

TheTurdsOfMisery Sat 17-Aug-13 08:08:26

Sooooooooooo mechanicalsam - what exactly were you thinking of when you resurrected a zombie thread about clean carpets? grin Oh no! Has someone disrespected your PFC too?

TheTurdsOfMisery Sat 17-Aug-13 08:10:04

By the way - I just re-read your post. You sound a bit het up. Maybe a sit down and a sandwich? grin

stupidlybroody Sat 17-Aug-13 08:41:01

I'm surprised that some people find it bad manners/hosting to expect guests to remove their shoes! If I go into someone's house its automatic to remove my shoes, I don't have to be asked, its just assumed it is expected. I've never had to ask someone to remove their shoes, they've just done it automatically. Its just common courtesy!!

FacebookWanker Sat 17-Aug-13 08:50:54

I love these threads.

I wouldn't wear shoes if I was visiting someone with a new carpet...people re free to wear shoes in our home if hey please. I old nverk anyone to take their shoes off..

My friend loves opposite someone who makes her husband strip at the fron door when he gets home from work...can't remember hat h oes for. Living..

DD (3yo) is lying on op of me so difficult to type...

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Sat 17-Aug-13 08:54:47

damash I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I am less bothered however at the visitors not removing their shoes as I am at my own DH ignoring it, going into the garden and treading mud back in again, grinding in food from the kitchen floor etc. Or worse, treading on my fucking toes (not relating to the carpet but another reason I don't like him wearing shoes!)

I tried to be religious PFC about my carpet. I tried to be anal and grumpy and I got bloody ignored anyway. I have a particular friend who refused to take his shoes off in my house, absolutely refused. He still doesn't but I stopped asking. But, funnily, he now has a £1000 rug in his front room and doesn't like people wearing shoes in there. Imagine my delight...!

TheSunTheMoonTheTruth Sat 17-Aug-13 08:58:04

and, I don't really get why people want to wear shoes all the time anyway. I wear shoes as little as possible and it just seems normal and common sense that when indoors, you don't need shoes on. What do you need them on for?

PeriodFeatures Sat 17-Aug-13 09:01:29

What ?!! I'd never though of it as a big issue!!

I am happy to take my shoes off in peoples houses where it is what they do, people sometimes take there shoes of at my house. I think it's quite nice actually, kind of symbolic of leaving the outside outside and coming in and chilling indoors. I don't 'expect' people to do it, it's up to them. I feel a bit pissed off when say the HV comes and takes her shoes off. It worries me that she'll want to stop for hours!

I wouldn't personally choose to have a downstairs carpet but it was here and new when we moved into the house. People look at it and don't want to tread shite in it, i appreciate that. I'm the same if i visit someone with a nice carpet.

pixiegumboot Sat 17-Aug-13 09:05:27

why would you be baring your feet with shoes off? don't you wear socks with your shoes? and let's face it, it's sandals weather for about 2 days a year here.

melika Sat 17-Aug-13 09:12:35

YANBU my friend gives a certain look when you are entering her lounge and you feel compelled to take shoes off in the porch.

At the moment, we have 30 year old carpets left by previous owners but when I get new, come hell or high water, no shoes are going to touch it!

MrsMook Sat 17-Aug-13 09:34:01

Shoes vs bare feet... think my sandals are the lesser of the two crimes. My feet will only do boots or sandals, so from April to October when it's sandal season there will probably be more grime sweated on to the sole of my feet than there was dusted on the sole of the sandal.

I'll take my shoes off if you request, but please don't be under any delusions that it's any more hygenic.
In my own home, I'd rather my guest is comfortable. I don't really care if they are shod or bare foot.

I once spent longer fiddling with a pair of ankle straps on a pair of shoes to enter and leave a house than I did in the flaming house. I was only picking a friend up to go out. Cream carpets in a lounge/ hall/ stairs is absolute idiocy.

jamdonut Sat 17-Aug-13 09:45:04

I expect those residing within the house to take their shoes off, (and hopefully put their slippers on) but ask visitors,no way. How rude. I would rather they kept them on than have sweaty feet all over,anyway!

Having said that,my daughter's friends are all very polite,and always take their shoes off without being asked.

Haggischucker Sat 17-Aug-13 10:18:26

I'm on the fence with the issue. We had laminate downstairs and cream carpet from stairs upwards so it was a shoes off if upstairs rule for us. The carpet got ditched though from general wear and tear, was a carpet right cheapie, but have learned the never again cream carpet lesson early on. We have a dark brown one now but friends and family still remove shoes which I think shows respect for my things.

Now I automatically take shoes off when entering houses, (when younger never used to) unless like earlier posters have said, when the floors are a bit suspect. Funnily enough though the exception to the rule is at my parents house where it is the norm to remain in shoes (farm house with dog) although wellies do get left outside.

I think the change happened for me when I met my (very house proud) future mother in law who insisted shoes off and bought me a set of slippers for her house as a hint. I don't get offended (now).

There is no right and wrong here, each to their own but it is interesting to read the various arguments for and against.

Fakebook Sat 17-Aug-13 10:34:12

Yanbu. My bil used to trample on our carpets with motor oil on his shoes whilst I used to scream in my head. I could never get the stains out and I hated him for it. I think he did it on purpose too.

We got wooden flooring put in the bottom half of the house a few years ago so no more problems with rude people not taking shoes off.

KFFOREVER Sat 17-Aug-13 10:43:19

Its definitely shoes off in our house especially as i have a rolling ds. Visitors tend to take their shoes off as they take a look at the cream carpet. I have spare slippers if anyone gets cold feet!

OpenMindedSceptic Sat 17-Aug-13 10:47:51

Shoes off in our house (does not apply to elderly, heavily pregnant or people with reduced mobility).
I automatically take my shoes off on entering other people's houses, it's the way I was brought up.
Vast majority of people who visit us take their shoes off straight away, without me having to say anything. And those who don't I found a simple 'just pop your shoes over there ' - pointing to the shoe rack grin - does the trick.

Tittypulumpcious Sat 17-Aug-13 11:00:52

Always shoes off, I was brought up that way. Carpets aren't cheap and shoes are dirty. I don't want to pad around my own house barefoot after people have been in and out with their shoes on.

We have a sign.."Please remove your Choos" which is tongue in cheek but visitors get the hint smile

MrsMook Sat 17-Aug-13 11:01:34

how do these babies of immaculate floors fare when they get mobile enough for the outdoors and start playing with mud, sticks, stones and worse?
DS had to wash his hands in a puddle the other day after getting tactile with the hubcaps. Nice.

messalina Sat 17-Aug-13 11:26:14

i hate being asked to remove shoes as i could well be wearing tights with holes or if i am wearing heels it is v annoying as what i am wearing feels wrong. Carpets are naf and so is asking people to remove shoes.

Bogeyface Sat 17-Aug-13 11:44:19

I genuinely dont get the hygiene argument.

If I have been out in my shoes then there is a good chance that my feet will be sweaty and hot. Some people have veruccas and fungal infections, I would rather they kept that encased in their shoes thanks! Walking down a normal street does not contaminate a shoe with anything life threatening. To reassure to the hysterical pp who scream of filth being brought into their homes, I dont know anyone who would happily tread in dog shit and then walk it all over someones carpet.

You can hoover a dusty carpet, but you cant hoover our athletes foot or a verucca virus (is it a virus?). And I rarely wear socks even in boots, I hate the feel of them, so if you insisted on me removing my shoes then it would be bare boot feet on your floors.....lovely grin

treaclesoda Sat 17-Aug-13 15:48:33

I hate this accusation that I'm somehow inconsiderate, badly mannered or a bad guest because I don't automatically take my shoes off in someone's house. If I go into a house and all the people who live there are wearing their shoes, why on earth would I take mine off?confused
And since I've never visited a home where people aren't wearing their shoes...

I just don't understand how I am expected to read minds.

twistedtoffee Sat 17-Aug-13 15:55:36

I would far prefer people walked around my house in their shoes than in their bare feet (yuk). Surely if people wipe their feet on the mat before coming in their shoes aren't going to be that dirty?

Harryhairypig Sat 17-Aug-13 15:58:34

I hate taking mine off as my feet get cold and I have tendonistis so it hurts to walk in bare feet on hard floors, and tbh if they are hard floors I don't see why I can't keep them on, fair enough when its pale carpet though. But generally I leave them on unless I'm about to go into a room with pale/new carpet.

WynkenBlynkenandNod Sat 17-Aug-13 16:23:18

I might get a sign to go next to the 'no cold callers ' one on the front door so people know what to expect when the come here (we're mostly shoes on for guests unless they are children with muddy shoes, might be a bit long for a sign though).

Think my German family are defective, they all seem to keep their shoes on, no carpets though.

waddlecakes Sat 17-Aug-13 16:46:58

It comes down to a very simple choice:

- Option A: run the risk of getting your floors slightly dirtier than they were before, for the benefit of your guests' comfort
- OPTION B: run the risk of making your guests feel embarrassed or uncomfortable (possibly smelly feet, possibly embarrassed at how feet lock, possibly socks or ticghts with holes in) for the sake of keeping your floors pristine.

Obviously, the average British person will always choose Option A. I think some of the trendy yummy mummies trying to get down with the Continent by going for Option B need to remind themselves that nobody gives a flying f&&k about the state of their floors, and also there is something both disgusting and really lame about carpeting downstairs.

littlemog Sat 17-Aug-13 17:21:43

Carpets are pretty gross imo and are never clean. I do not understand this weird obsession with them that people on MN seem to have but each to their own I guess.

We have wood and tiles downstairs (with the odd rug) and wood and rugs upstairs. No carpets anywhere = much cleaner house. We welcome people in and would not dream of asking them to remove their shoes.

Even if we did have carpets I would not be rude and ask people to take off their shoes and always feel unwelcome and annoyed if asked to do so myself. In fact the last two times I have been asked to do so I declined and said that I would wait outside which was the preferable option to me.

ananikifo Sat 17-Aug-13 17:44:45

I was raised by continental European parents in Canada. I was taught never wear shoes in the house and I take them off if I visit someone. Sometimes I'm the only shoeless person at a party. Then I don't know whether to put them back on. blush I always notice my guests wearing shoes but I don't say anything because it's obviously a cultural thing and I've been laughed at for saying something in the past. I will always see it as dirty to wear shoes in the house.

Do the shoes on people here actually wear shoes in their own houses?

littlemog Sat 17-Aug-13 17:46:39

Yes of course - quite often.

edam Sat 17-Aug-13 17:53:52

Demanding visitors take their shoes off is very rude. Shows you think more of your floor than your guest.

If you are incredibly neurotic about dirt/germs, then hoover your ruddy carpet, or mop your ruddy floor. Or realise that germs aren't confined to shoes...

Trust me, you'd rather I kept mine on, with certain shoes my feet are very smelly.

MrsSchadenfreude Sat 17-Aug-13 17:58:56

What do you do if you insist that guests take their shoes off and their feet absolutely stink to high heaven?

waddlecakes Sat 17-Aug-13 18:05:53

ananikifo people take their shoes off in their own house. It's like wearing your PJs. Of course you wear them to lounge around in at home, but you wouldn't as a guest.

LizzyDay Sat 17-Aug-13 18:10:37

Very very rude to expect visitors to remove their shoes, and expose their (possibly bare) feet to your

- floor crumbs and general crud (composed of lord knows what, if my house is anything to go by - I don't especially want yours between my toes thanks)

- draughts

- tights-snagging splinters / tacks

- hard cold germy surfaces in kitchen / bathroom / conservatory (yes you might have a sooper cream-carpeted lounge, but what about everywhere else?)

Especially rude if you're sitting with cosy slippers on while I'm expected to freeze and endure floor crud between my toes <shudder>.

WillyandTig Sat 17-Aug-13 18:37:41

Why is it more rude to expect someone to take off their shoes in your home than it is to dirty up someone's carpets with dirt from outside? I still can't get my head round that logic. Its far more rude to go to somebody's house and expect to walk all over their carpets with mucky, germy shoes.

LizzyDay Sat 17-Aug-13 18:44:36

ananikifo - in the summer I'll keep my outdoor flip flops on when I go indoors, yes.

In winter I'll take heavy outdoor shoes/boots off and put slippers on, but only because it's more comfortable.

I always wear something on my feet indoors though (unless requested to remove) - I hate going barefoot or wearing only socks even at home.

morethanpotatoprints Sat 17-Aug-13 18:45:46

Carpets are for putting your shoes on.
I never have understood why people do this, especially in this day and age of steamers and carpet cleaners. It seems really snobby and unnecessary. I would never dream of walking on someones carpet with wet or muddy shoes, but otherwise object to taking them off. I am one that just refuses, because it makes me uncomfortable, if you insisted, I wouldn't come again, or make a point of bringing my slippers next time.
Are people not allowed to put a cup down neither?

LizzyDay Sat 17-Aug-13 18:46:03

What about sweaty, germy feet though? You can hoover up grit and grime, but not oily sweat.

LizzyDay Sat 17-Aug-13 18:46:39

That was to WillyandTig

waddlecakes Sat 17-Aug-13 18:48:29

WillyandTig - I don't know, by that logic, why don't we all bring our own crockery and cutlery to avoid the host having to wash up? Or bring our own plastic bottles to avoid placing our backsides on our host's toilet?

Treehousegarden Sat 17-Aug-13 18:48:55

I was brought up to believe it is very poor etiquette to ask guests to remove thier shoes. Maybe I'm just a bit too middle class these days :s

WillyandTig Sat 17-Aug-13 18:52:50

Slight difference between eating off crockery (kind of necessary to eat at a hosts house), sitting on the toilet (necessary to do a good poo/wee) and keeping shoes on to walk inside (not necessary at all unless to do with disability and walking).

And lizzy you can't hoover up the bacteria from dog shit, spit and urine that will come in on someone's shoes. Just because its not visible doesnt mean its not there. I'd rather a bit of sweat on my floor where my baby plays than dog shit.

littlemog Sat 17-Aug-13 18:54:33

Are people not allowed to put a cup down neither?

You would probably be made to use one of those coaster things!

littlemog Sat 17-Aug-13 18:56:24

I think that the answer is to ban carpets as they are germ infested and uncleanable and seem to cause lots of MN angst

edam Sat 17-Aug-13 19:02:23

Willy, because you are the host. When you invite guests into your home, it is your job to look after them.

LizzyDay Sat 17-Aug-13 19:03:46

WillyandTig - indeed, what about all the human germs that live in your house that you can't see - the toilet mist and splashes on the bathroom floor, sneeze mist, other airborne bacteria, airborne cooking fat from the kitchen... the list goes on an on. Shoes are only a very small part of the muck that invades a house and that I don't want to pick up on my bare feet when I visit thanks

WillyandTig Sat 17-Aug-13 19:08:46

I'm afraid their comfort in tromping around in shoes inside doesn't outweigh my daughters need not to be rolling around in whatever they've stood in while wearing there shoes outdoors.

And I'm fine with the germs that are already in my house. I mean, poo is everywhere after all. I just don't fancy everyone adding to it with shoes that will have all sorts stuck to them. Do you wear shoes in your own house all the time? Because you'll be picking up other people's house germs when they wear their shoes in your house after wearing them in someone else's and getting that on your bare feet at some point or other.

WillyandTig Sat 17-Aug-13 19:09:17

Their shoes outdoors*

We always insist guests keep shoes on....sandstone floors that eat socks.

I don't like removing shoes as different heel heights go with different outfits,I think I may be prepared to wear those plastic overshoes but I would think you were mad-helpfull

LizzyDay Sat 17-Aug-13 19:11:57

WillyandTig - will you not allow your daughter to play at the park? The ground and play equipment will all have been walked on by people wearing shoes.

LizzyDay Sat 17-Aug-13 19:13:24

I do wear shoes/slippers indoors pretty much all the time, yes.

Bogeyface Sat 17-Aug-13 23:27:28

My mum is having a new carpet so I asked her earlier about the shoes off thing. When I said about people insisting that anyone coming over their threshold remove their shoes she said "Urgh, how common". She was revolted at the concept of "guest slippers", and said that she would rather risk losing a friend than gaining a verruca. Pretty much covered it for me grin

Bogeyface Sat 17-Aug-13 23:34:56

Willyandtig

How many people come into your home on a daily basis? Unless you have hoardes of visitors every day then I hardly think that "everyone" is mucking up your house!

And in 2 years when she is playing with leaves on a hedge that a dog has likely pissed on, or licking the hand rail on a bus you will probably cease to care about hypothetical germs on shoes.

ephemeralfairy Sat 17-Aug-13 23:45:16

YABU!! Seriously?? It would honestly never occur to me to take my shoes off in someone's house, unless said shoes were caked in mud or dog shit or something.
And equally I would never expect anyone to do it in my house; although many of my friends do. I'm more concerned with being a good host than getting the odd microscopic speck of dirt on my --admittedly shabby--carpets.
Is this what happens when you have enough money to spend on luxury things like impeccable carpets and don't have to worry about how you're going to pay the rent this month?? Wow.

Bogeyface Sun 18-Aug-13 00:00:00

Is this what happens when you have enough money to spend on luxury things like impeccable carpets and don't have to worry about how you're going to pay the rent this month?? Wow.

No its what happens when you have nothing better to worry about wink

littlemog Sun 18-Aug-13 09:44:59

Agree with Bogeyface. Actually don't think that this is about having money or not (in fact the richer people are, the less they seem to worry about this kind of stuff). The richest folk I know have a sitting room that looks like an extension of the stables! Lovely and cosy and full of tatty sofas and dogs. No indoor nags though.

edam Sun 18-Aug-13 09:47:50

It's not about money, it's about class. Finicky and fussy is Not Posh.

madmomma Sun 18-Aug-13 09:58:22

After a certain age, it can be very uncomfortable to have no shoes on. You lose the fat in the soles of your feet. My Mum finds it painful to walk around in her socks. And isn't it always the way that people who have the cleanest shoes will happily take them of without being asked, whereas the people with dirty shoes will march right over your palest rug without a thought.

ladymariner Sun 18-Aug-13 10:05:53

I always take mt shoes off in other peoples houses and nearly everyone I know does too, it's just manners. Why would you run the risk of dirtying somebody's arp et just because you can't be arsed to remove your shoes....nobody would knowingly trail mud or whatever in but you don't always know what is on the bottom of your shoe.

I had a tea party here and most people took their shoes off.....I didn't ask anyone to but as I said, most people round here do. I could tell the ones who didn't as, because it was raining outside, I had muddy marks left where they'd been sitting. And yes, I cursed them to fuck when I had to get the carpet cleaned because ordinary carpet cleaner wouldn't shift it....thanks a fucking bunch.

And even know MN never fails to astonish me.....people actually don't have carpets because they consider them filthy etc shock

Bogeyface Sun 18-Aug-13 11:08:39

I rather think that shoes on/off is a U/Non U issue. I somehow dont imagine the Queen slipping her shoes off at the door to the White House and availing herself of a pair a guest slippers from the basket wink

JenaiMorris Sun 18-Aug-13 11:32:02

Oh it's definitely a U/non-U thing. Insisting on either (unless you have an absurdly precious antique carpet, of the type one might find in the V&A, in which case it's about preserving the irreplaceable, which would be bonkers in a place with heavy footfall anyway) is a bit hmm

A zombie thread about frigging carpet - how odd! hmm

Bowlersarm Sun 18-Aug-13 11:46:26

Clearly no less controversial an issue now, than it was in March.

JenaiMorris Sun 18-Aug-13 11:48:01

Zombies never remove their shoes. They just march across your sitting room with gay abandon, then spill gunk all over the carpet as they feast on your brains sad

Yamyoid Sun 18-Aug-13 12:00:22

grin Jenai
I learnt a lesson recently. Kept telling fil to stop worrying about taking his shoes off as we have wooden floors. One day he came to do his washing when I was out. I came home to find a perfect trail of dog shit footprints from the front door to the washing machine. Grim.

LizzyDay Sun 18-Aug-13 12:45:07

Carpets are dirty things though - how could they not be, whether you wear outdoor shoes on them, or rub the soles of your bare feet into them every day. And if you have kids and animals, you've got no chance!

You can't stick them in the washing machine or properly wipe them like you can a hard surface.

LizzyDay Sun 18-Aug-13 12:49:30

Floors are for walking on - give me hard flooring and a pair of shoes/slippers any day.

Having said that it makes no sense to get too precious about having pristine floors just because a baby or toddler might go near them. Germs are germs and they are everywhere. It's just harder to keep carpets looking and smelling clean - they bring extra work and stress imo.

pinkandpurplesparkle Sun 18-Aug-13 13:03:52

Friend is very PFC grin about her hideously expensive wood flooring (PFWF??) wink and deals with the "no shoes" issue by displaying a few pairs of novelty slippers just inside her door. I always choose the pink fluffy ones. grin

edam Sun 18-Aug-13 13:05:08

Definitely U and non-U.

There's one line of thought that carpets are better for people with allergies, because they trap fine particles. While with hard floors, the particles are still floating about in the air, especially when you sweep them.

exoticfruits Sun 18-Aug-13 13:12:53

I thought 'oh goody another of these MN carpet threads' and then found it was an old one resurrected from 5 months ago.
Personally I haven't worn socks or tights for at least 3 months. Perhaps mechanicalsam, who restated the old thread, would like to tell me why they prefer my bare feet to my sandals? I certainly don't want people walking over my carpets in bare feet.

LizzyDay Sun 18-Aug-13 20:54:18

I can understand going shoeless indoors in hot countries, where your feet don't freeze when you take your shoes off.

It's just bonkers to do it here where our climate and most of our homes (with their mix of hard flooring and carpet) aren't suitable for going shoeless in.

LizzyDay Sun 18-Aug-13 20:58:25

Ah but what about the dust mites in carpets Edam!

nice carpet mite pic

mumofwildthings Mon 19-Aug-13 00:33:06

YANBU

I hate shoes in the house. We are a barefoot family and I automatically take my shoes off when I go to anyone else's house. Perhaps its having lived in Russia where your host hands you slippers (if you haven't brought your own) to wear when you take your snowy boots off.

Shoes are not clean, even if they look clean. I suppose I started removing shoes when I had a crawling baby, for hygeine purposes. Now my babies are off to school but we still do it, not least because they tend to get hurt rough-housing with their shoes on.

One of our neighbours has a sign on their front door saying something like 'no shoes indoors'. Now THAT I find rude, but a simple 'would you mind leaving your shoes by the door, we've just had new carpets laid' is fine.

exoticfruits Mon 19-Aug-13 06:35:52

I still don't know why you want me wandering around in my bare feet.

TartanRug Mon 19-Aug-13 07:30:09

Well I used to firmly be in the shoes off camp until I had a Jamie Oliver party (dead posh me) all of the guests removed their shoes (unasked, I preferred it but never insisted). Half way through the night one of the guests yelped in pain as she had inadvertently caught the dressing on her septic toe and it had come off, the offending toe was pulsating away on my carpet and left a delightful trail of blood and pus on it. Yes dear reader, blood and pus. On my carpet. It was fucking horrific as the people sitting next to this poor woman visibly winced away from her and she was beyond mortified. From that moment on I would welcome anyone wearing muddy wellies over that toe.

Incidentally,the woman and her toe are still welcome in my house.

exoticfruits Mon 19-Aug-13 08:39:11

Exactly tartanrug- no one has yet said why they prefer my bare feet to my sandals- I do not intend wearing socks or tights until at least the end of September.

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