about the size of my house?(136 Posts)
I own (outright, no mortgage) a three bedroomed terraced house. It's not a large home but it is a lovely one. There is a small garden, beautiful views and it's in a really nice location near parks and our little town centre - just perfect. However, my dad claims it's too small to be a 'family home
I wondered what sort of homes you all lived in ... ?
I think you're incredibly unusual to own outright and in a very fortunate position. Sounds great!
Never mind about how big our houses are, why are you putting so much emphasis on what your Dad thinks?
And why does he think he has the right to comment on the size of your house?
Have you got any children?
If not, how many are you thinking of having?
i live in a 1 bed tiny flat with Dp and Dd its a home with a family living there dont know what else to say..
How can you possibly be unreasonable?
Unless of course you've got 16 kids or something.
It sort of intends on how many children you intend to have. Fine for 2 or 3, less fine for 6, say.
Five of us in a two up, two down terraced cottage. Garden the size of a postage stamp. No door on the bathroom. Shared a bedroom with my older sister and younger brother until I was 14.
Well, I didn't think I was, but my dad seemed so pertured by the thought of me having a child 'in that little house' I really thought I'd missed a trick.
Agent - no children, am only planning on one but we'll see!
We have a 4 bed house for me and DH. Hopefully it won't be long until we fill another bedroom.
Why does it matter what your dad thinks?
A 3 bed house is more than Big enough to be a 'family home'. Yours sounds lovely and you are very lucky to be on such a position.
Ignore your dad and enjoy living in your nice house.
The area's important too.
We moved somewhere a bit more rural when DD1 was 2 just because she didn't have anywhere to run about where we were, just concrete and more concrete.
But come on, would you really move because your Dad wasn't happy with the house you'd chosen?
Did u grow up in a large house OP?
There are 5 of us (and 5 pets) in a tiny 2 bed terraced house. We have mortgage but cannot afford a bigger one.
It sounds as if your home is lovely and you are happy there. Your Dad is off his rocker I'm afraid.
A very similar one to yours by the sounds of it. A family home isn't just about size, all the things you mentioned like parks, shops, nice schools etc matter just as much!
Sorry, just saw your question. We live in a 3 bed semi detached cottage ina lovely village with a very big garden. Before DD2 came along we lived in a tiny 2 up 2 down old workers cottage. Now that was a small house!
I wouldn't move, no - I just was genuinely a bit taken aback he seemed so certain my house would be too small for a family! I grew up in a 3 bed house as well, though larger than mine - more of a cottage/farmhouse. I did wonder if it was more the garden, but it's an adequate size, not massive but not tiny either. God knows!
We have a mortgage on a small 2 bed terrace and have one child. I think you're fine!
We upsized to a four bed detached in case we wanted more children (which we now don't ) which I was perfectly happy in. However I have just returned from a friends newly renovated enormous Georgian house which could fit my entire house in the kitchen/breakfast/family room and now I have property envy.
A one bed flat is big enough for a baby, when they start being mobile and you out grow it, you move.
Once you buy a house, you don't have to stop there.
3 bedrooms seems plenty for most families, and being near parks and the town centre will be really valuable with little ones. Who wants the extra cleaning and hoovering of more rooms than you need? Better to use a smaller amount of space efficiently - you are so lucky to have no mortgage, don't think of taking one on for the dubious benefit of more rooms until such time as you actually start feeling over crowded.
We are very happy and comfortable in a modest 3-bed. I think that we would try and move as and when we got to a situation of having older teenagers who would be less keen to share a bedroom, but not till then. Stay put where you are happy.
we live in a huge stately home. Isn't that the norm??
Actually 4.5 bedroom house. x4 DS plus occasional granny. It is cosy for us. Huge for family of 3.Everything is relative.
Your house sounds lovely
I know what you mean Agent, I think though that if I was to move I'd take on a mortgage and I'm not sure if I'd get one as an 'older' customer, although admittedly I am not sure at what age that would apply
YANBU...we have three children and the gorgeous 'big family home' I didn't grow up in. It's very, very expensive...cripplingly so. My kids are school-age so most of the time it's just me rattling around in it. I want to go on holiday! I want to go back to school! My dream house is a cozy, three-bed Victorian semi
The boys could share and then there'd be no room for guests.
You sound very wise and if I was your parent I'd be proud, not critical.
When we moved into our 3 bed townhouse, my parents insisted on a regular basis it was totally unsuitable for children. We converted the loft and our oldest is nearly 5. The benefits of the location have outweighed the lack of living space.
Aw bless you Whiny thanks
I think he's just very worried about me being a parent so is coming up with all sorts of daft reasons to put me off!
Love your name too...just finished reading that book!
My friend lives in a teeny tiny two bedroomed terraced house with a DD(6) and DS(5), who share an average size bedroom - the rest of the rooms in the house are tiny. In her and her DH's bedroom, the double bed is pushed up against a wall. Small kitchen, small bathroom, small lounge, their garden is about 3mx2m.
They manage (just). Your dad is being utterly ridiculous.
But Kithulu if your house is the same size as my friend's, how on earth do you fit 10 living things into it . Unless the pets are goldfish.
I own a mortgaged 3 bed terrace, it is a bit small but there's only four of us (an
d 2 cats!).
Location is exactly like yours. I love it, love the location and have no plans to move from my lovely family home
Parents! My Mum told me when my brother and SIL plus first DN lived in a three bedroom house it was too small for them to have a second child! She is used to a great big house though. We currently live in a three bedroom house with three children. We want to move but mainly because we have no family nearby and so it would be nice to have a spare room.
Your Dad isn't Irish is he? All my family back home who have kids have huge houses IMO and seem to think it is terrible to have to bring up kids in a small house. We have a 2 up 2 down in London and are grand with that but my Mum thinks we need a much bigger house. Just more
for dp to clean.
I grew up in a big double fronted 4 bed house with over an acre of land. Didn't compensate for living with a dad who was utterly absent and a stepmum who actively and vocally hated me all through my teens right up til I left home (and beyond!) Going back there still makes me shudder and I'm 36 now. If you have a happy home for you and your kids it doesn't matter how 'big' it is - you sound like you have a lovely set up
My Dad hates my house, too. I don't give a monkeys. It might be small but that means my mortgage is small (relatively!). I don 't get why people feel the need to have big houses - that they then fill with over-priced meaningless "stuff".
Aw, thanks everyone
Tarantula he's not Irish, I do know what you mean though - I don't think he fully appreciates how expensive things are nowadays. When I was house hunting he kept moaning about stupid stuff, like the fact there is "no parking" here. There IS, it's a quiet road and everybody just sticks their cars on the road but he was obsessed with there not being a garage and didn't seem to "get" that with a max budget of £110,000 I couldn't pick and choose!
It is a lovely house though, the lady who owned it before me kept it in an immaculate state
which I am not so good at doing
we have a very small 3 bed Victorian semi - little garden, no drive etc
everyone always asks us when we'll be moving, but i think we're fine (family of four)
if we get a bigger house we'll only end up filling it with more stuff.
I grew up in a three bedroom terraced house - with mum and dad and six siblings. It was a family home full of laughter and love. At times there was no room to swing a cat and God only knows how my mother fed us all from her tiny kitchen with no mod cons.
I now live in a bigger house with a smaller family. Hopefully when my children are grown up their memories will not be "how much room we had when we were growing up" but "how much fun we had when we were growing up".
I live in a 5 bedroom house (3000sq ft) with my fiancé.
We have a small three bedroomed cottage (but with a new one bed add on) and I have eight children and they share bedrooms and we're really cramped but no-one wants to move because we've always had this house and we live in the country right by the sea. So we're still here.
It sounds like a perfect family home to me.
We are a family of 4 in a home with a double bedroom and a single bedroom.
You could have 4 kids even if the room sizes aren't big.
You don't need lots of stuff.It's better to be in the right situation.
MsV We have dog, cat, kitten and 2 mice. I didn't really ever count then until last week when DS2 at forest school had to say something about his family that is special,he said he had 5 pets. It made me think WTF that's too many!!
We have and amazing superking sized bed in our room, but that fills the room. Luckily 3 boys so sharing is ok for the moment.
The plus side is or mortgage can be covered (just) by DH wages alone so I have been able to stop work and be at home for the kids. We bought 12 years ago, so no worries about getting into negative equity either.
secret I love your house! 3 bed here also. Some friends live in much larger, my best friend lives on a boat. It isn't size it's what you do with it etc
I think one (daft!) worry I have is that he or she might get bullied at school for having a small house if his or her friends all have big detached executive style properties? That's really stupid, right?
you don't want friendships based on house size, surely? Iswym in a way, we live in an affluent village and there is definitely a pecking order
I've made good friends with people who don't think like that, and so have dc
in fact my houseboat friend is seen as a very cool playdate!
the people that matter judge you on who you are, not what you own
My kids are ware that we live in a smaller house than their friends but there's never been any problems that they've encountered.
Yes secret, that is really stupid. Whatever makes your dad think your house isn't big enough, and you that your kuds will be picked on? Madness I tell you!
whinyCrabbypeople- fantastic nickname!!
We have 2 children and live in a 3 bed terrace, with not a bad sized garden for a town. I used to feel an expectation from parents that we would move to a 4 bed detached, with a garage, in a nice residential village or small town. We have enough space and have everything within walking distance. Sometimes I do dream of a spare bedroom, downstairs toilet and a bigger room for my youngest son but then appreciate what we have.
We did have our house on the market for a while and went house shopping but decided to stay put. Say our house sold at 250k we could have bought another 3 bed for 300 to 350. On the outside it would look fine, detached, garage, nicer looking drive. Inside we would have no more space, or less!
Yeah stupid! Relative to the houses near my kids school 5 & 6 bed detached footballer houses ours is a small 30s 3 bed semi neither dc ever been bullied because of it.
More house = more to clean, more temptation to store junk, people will think they can stop over, easier to lose a toddler, further to go to the bog/doorbell, scrotes think you have something to steal, you start hearing noises from the furthest point of the house and shitting yourself etc etc etc
Thanks, I am going to be having the child in slightly non-conventional circumstances, so I suppose I am just a little sensitive to anything that could mark them as 'different.'
Actually, even if ERNIE decided to pick the bonds in my favour I still wouldn't get a bigger house, I think the space would freak me out
'Thanks, I am going to be having the child in slightly non-conventional circumstances, so I suppose I am just a little sensitive to anything that could mark them as 'different.''
Potentially the largest drip feed changing the direction of the thread in the history of MN
well I am a single parent if that helps, is definitely a stand out round here
another single parent in the village has a large but rambling farmhouse, still decorated like the 70s and throws the best parties ever
when dc were very little I remember a 3 year old saying 'our house is bigger than yours' so yes it does register, but no one nice gives a shit
yes, you have to elaborate op, what are they, half zebra?
You ARE being unreeasonable.
You know that your Dad's opinions are based on assumptions that no longer apply.
Worrying about the size of your house, when you have 3 bedrooms, should not kick in until you are considering the third child (an even then it's not necessarily a problem, as others have said).
Definitely not half zebra! Just having child as single mum!
Then there's even more room per person!
It's a generational thing. My dad thought I was "slumming" when I bought a two bed flat in the suburbs for two hundred grand. He genuinely thought I could afford a four bed in Holland Park or something. They don't get how much harder it is these days. Smile sweetly and ignore: you are in a much better place than most people, good luck to you.
Trills - absolutely!
quesadilla, yes, I know just what you mean!
To move to somewhere bigger would presumably mean not being mortgage free.
You have plenty of room for your family,a fantastic location by the sounds,and you owe nothing.
What's not to love about all of that!
How is it a generational thing if she grew up in a 3 bed house?
Are you intending to send your child to a private school where lots of the children are likely to be from wealthy families who live in large houses?
oh, is that all?
I've been on my own since dd was 6 months, I love it! embrace your lovely house and stop worrying!
Four bed detached, big garden, front view the neighbours, close to town. We've turned two of the bedrooms into a gym and games room because we were so sick of guests
I think if a house is comfortable, cosy, in a good area and fits everyone in, then it doesn't matter what size it is, bigger isn't always better.
a tip - when I was a new lone parent at the school gates I assumed people would be judging me and probably came across as quite stand offish because of it. Lose the shame, it went out with the 70s. Even the Pope approves of us!
Trills, my house was a 3 bed but it was a large detached one with a lot of land and stables and outhouses - bit different to the one I have now
Buskers, no, wouldn't be able to afford private school! Like I say, I am just a little sensitive to my DC being marked as 'different' in any way, daft I know but if you can't be a bit daft about irrational DC worries on Mumsnet, where can you, hey?
Just because people of older generations were able to afford much more on the equivalent of today's salaries and expect their kids to do better than them and therefore have a hard time adjusting to the huge acceleration in property prices over 40 years or so.
I am always amazed when I watch those property shows and they interview a couple who are moving 'because we need more room for the baby'. Then you find out they are moving from a three bed with two receptions, two bathrooms and a garden.
I mean, how big do they think their baby is going to be?
I downsized, too. Now it's all my own! couldn't be happier
Is being a single parent unconventional now?
Badgers pay far too much road tax
Agent - no, but I actually am choosing to be a single parent, you see, I am having IVF with donor sperm.
Mrs - haha! I always wonder that about when expectant parents buy huge people carriers - are they having quads or something?
Circumstances dictated that I downsized from a 3 bed to a 2 bed,once we had our family.
But its a 2 bed in much better nick than the big poorly maintained 3 bed.
And we can keep warmer.
I wonder how many of the people complaining they can't get onto the property ladder think like that MrsD?
Someone on the telly was saying they had £30000 saved up for a deposit but couldn't find anything to buy
You mean you couldn't find anything that didn't need a bit of work doing on it?
Although because we're oop northish I'm always surprised how much houses got for down south, maybe I'm being unrealistic.
MrsDV that reminds me of an episode of Location Location Location (or one of those Phil and Kirstie programmes) that was on a few years ago and the couple were expecting their first baby and 'needed more space', and they ended up buying this nine bedroom mansion of a thing. I mean, fair enough, if you have the money you can buy whatever size of house you want, but they were so serious about needing this space, as if it was unthinkable that they could possibly bring a baby into a home where there wasn't at least 5000 square feet of space, because it would just be too cramped.
Our boys go to school with kids from huge executive detatched houses and kids from tiny bungalows (no flats because there aren't any here but if there were, those kids would go to school too!). Families range from single parent, dual parent, parent/grandparent, adoptive parents - it's a huge mix.
Nobody gets bullied because of the size of house they live in, or the makeup of their family. They get bullied because kids can be unpleasant (though the school is pretty good at sorting it) but not over things that you're concerned about.
FWIW we live in a 4 bed detatched, 350sqm (around 3760sqft) and my older son was bullied for being clever. It's nothing to do with the size of the house!
You've done well to have no mortgage on a house regardless, I wouldn't trade that in to have bigger unless you end up with mixed gender multiples.
Our house was a standard 1970s 3 bed semi until we had the loft done because we ended up with twins. If we'd only had the one we were planning on, we would still have 3 beds and a lot less time on the mortgage to go.
I know that a child wouldn't be bullied because of the size of their house exactly, I think it tends to be as I said something that marks them or identifies them as different, silly really. It's a lovely area but not a well to do one (old mining community) so I doubt my child will stand out particularly - but you never know!!
We have only ever owned 3 bedroom properties and it's always been perfectly comfortable. The last two were detached, but probably no bigger than your present house.
We have 2 children (not children any more) and will be mortgage free very soon. Bigger houses have always been possible, but we wanted a mortgage that we were happy with, rather than the ridiculous amounts that we were offered. I like to sleep at night.
Big houses are overrated, IMO. Really expensive to maintain and absolutely loads of housework. Fine if you have absolutely masses of money to outsource all the maintenance (not just the labour, but the management) but otherwise how dull to be chained to house and garden. My parents lead that lifestyle - they are retired, but I think they have come to realise that it is quite dull to spend so much of one's time maintaining property!
OP, we split our time between a relatively small flat and a bloody huge country house.
I can assure you both are lovely family homes. Your Dad is talking rubbish!
It's completely relative, and parents don't always understand.
My in-laws can't understand how we can demean ourselves and our children by living in a tiny Victorian semi in a nice part of a desirable city, because they are American and suburban. In their worldview only very poor people have to live in urban "row homes". To make it even worse, we don't have a car! When I pointed out to MIL how much our house is worth in USD and how much more the sort of house she likes costs around here (in USD) she went quiet. I think she thought our house must have cost $50k or something.
My Dad, on the other hand, thinks our house is great and ample for our needs. He is very proud of us having such a pretty house in a lovely city and would think we were mad if we were dissatisfied with it.
Have we all missed something or AIBU? This is the worst case of stealth boasting I've seen. "oh look at me, I'm mortgage free. I could move somewhere bigger if I wanted. I live in a lovely house in a lovely area. Lucky, lucky me. Now then, poor people, tell me about the houses YOU live in. Are you going to have to move because of bedroom tax?"
Precisely, precisely, precisely Hairdryer, and exactly what I thought.
And also, sod what anyone else thinks about the inadequate size of your house, unless they're going to bloody well buy you a new, bigger one.
Hey, blackholes let's be unreasonable together!
Umm Hairdryer can I firstly apologise if my post came acoss as a stealth-boast as I assure you it isn't. I couldn't move somewhere bigger (not without a mortgage) and I couldn't afford IVF/childcare fees AND a mortgage and I'd only be moving for a child anyway ...
I actually think of most people who post on here as being very middle class indeed, there are lots of threads on the education boards about independent schools and so on so I genuinely didn't think anyone would be insulted.
Also, I only own my house mortgage free because both my parents are dead so I have an inheritance (my dad is a stepfather although has been since I was quite young so I always just refer to him as "my dad" in conversation) - I don't actually count myself as all that lucky, I'd rather have both parents to be honest!
I'd ask my dad what he meant, tbh. It's exactly the kind of comment that the only response at the time is "Oh?", then you have a think, start a thread then it's perfectly reasonable to ask what he meant at a later date. It could be something you'd never have thought of in a million years, obvs.
Yes, you're probably right kali; I think I am over-thinking it, but planning a child in this way you do sort of feel as if you have to explain and justify EVERYTHING (yes I have tried internet dating, no I couldn't adopt, yes I know your best mate's cousin's neighbour had twins at 44) so the house was just one more!
Like I say, I honestly think of most M-netters as living in detached country homes with ponies and children who play the viola and rugby for hobbies so I wasn't stealth boasting!
Must dash. The cleaner is coming - yes, on a Saturday, can you believe it? - then I have to take Tarquin to Polo and Esmerelda to the opera.
Oh, sounds like an off-hand nothing comment People are so weird
I'm listening to Radio 4 in a sitting room full of books. Conrad and Kanga are at due back from atheist camp at 11 so I'll pop downstairs to ask Birgitta to rustle up a raw snack for them.
Well, there you go then Hairdryer, I don't have a cleaner, I've never been to polo or to the opera.
Actually I think opera is a terrible noise - my dad loves it - guess we're all different, eh?
Message withdrawn at poster's request.
2 bed flat. 2 children. one lge double, one not quite double but could just bout fit one in if you don't mind not popening the door fully or having the bed against a wall and not much furniture, certinly not a wardrobe.
Thanks Reality - your house sounds lovely! I think with my dad it might be that although there are three bedrooms they are all on the small side and one room in particlar is titchy (it's a lovely room though!) There's a nice spacious kitchen, small lounge, stairs, two average beds, one tiny bed and a tiny tiny bathroom! There's a bath in it but it's so small I can't even lie down fully in it and I'm only 5'3!
Parents are funny creatures. I vividly remember my mum saying to me under circumstances I won't go into, "But you can't raise a child in a FLAT!!" as if it were the most logical thing in the world, discounting the hundreds of millions of people around the world who do just that. Having said that, now that I've got a tiny baby, I'm glad we have a small garden and our own front door. But it wouldn't have been the end of the world...
we live in a detached bungalow with 4 bedrooms, 4 bathrooms and 4 reception rooms, with a large garden. Our DC love it as there is lots of room to run around.
I grew up with one sibling, married parents in a 3bed house. It's totally fine. No guest bedroom but we had a separate living room, dining room and kitchen with small table so plenty of space really.
DH and I are in a 1bed/1boxroom flat with big living spaces and pregnant. We're thinking of moving when the baby is somewhere around 1yo.
Sounds pefect for your plans. Good luck with -ivf, is the second room big enough for twins?
My 3 boys can share a bedroom. We can cope with just one family bathroom. But I insist on two sitting rooms. I can't cope with everyone piled into one sitting room. Either that or go to bed. Ridiculous.
Greenfolder it is, yes! If I had twins I would probably (eventually) sleep in the small room myself and let the children have a larger room each!
Bonsoir that's me - I have a big 'un but equally lots of kids to fill it - I'm a bloody slave to it . Tis constant. Mortgage crippling too
Surely loads of people live in 3 bed terraces. They're not unusual. Loads of kids at school would probably live in very similar houses, and plenty in smaller, less impressive ones.
Your dad is being odd. Very odd.
I grew up in a 6 bed old chapel with a giant garden. It was 3 floors and all huge rooms.
I now live in a (mortgaged) 2 bed End of terrace with DP and DSD. It has a tiny garden but it is ours.
All my mum could comment on when she saw it was about how small it is!
I like it and it is our family home :-) we will probably look for bigger if we manage to have a DC ourselves but we shall see
And no DP or DH to clutter the place up either, by the sound of it. Wtf.
The chapel house sounds GORGEOUS, Wakey. Do your parents still live there?
I live in a 2 bed terrace. It's nice, it's in a nice area but it is too small. Kitchen, dining room, living room downstairs, 2 beds and a bathroom upstairs. Decent sized rooms but too small for the 3 of us. Fine as a couple
I told DH it was too small when I was pg but he didn't think so
Now he realises I was right and we now need to move with a toddler and 4 billion blocks of lego in tow.
"i would sleep in the small room myself" not we and ourselves.
I grew up in a large 5 bedroomed house, we rattled around in it because I was an only child (parents didn't want children). Now I have a typical 3 bedroom semi but would love to have a detached house.
It's easy to cut down on things though,and fit the size you have.
I was worried how I would do it when I had to,but,honestly,we don't need all the stuff we keep about us.
It sounds really nice. If you love it ignore what your Dad says. I always think my house is far too small though people laugh at this because it's probably about average. But I have too much stuff.
I am about to move to a smaller house for me and my son so I can own my house outright. My dad has also started to ask how we will manage as he feels my present home is small. I always thought it was quite big for just the two of us, an extended 3 bed 1930's semi with 80 ft garden. Funny because their house is only a big bigger than mine!
Seems to me that there is already one person on this thread admirably demonstrating the quality of response to the OP's concern of marking a child out. If you don't like the thread, leave it.
I think it's much better to downsize and own outright.
Before I had children I got the chance to relocate to a much cheaper part of the country, along with lots of my colleagues. They mostly took advantage of it and bought a massive house in the countryside but I stuck to the same size property and no mortgage. When interest rates rose in the early 1990s they were not so sure of the wisdom of their decision. I would have loved the large houses that they had though, the grass is always greener and all that.
As of this month, we own our 2 up 2 down with a garden across the road from us, outright.
With 4 of us and 2 growing boys who can not get on tp the point they can't be left together without close supervision we would love an extra bedroom! We'll have to start from scratch with a mortgage when we upsize, as this house isn't worth very much (which is how we cleared the mortgage in under a decade)
Your dad is being quite unreasonable, especially if you're only wanting the one child.
OP... I had my DS as a single Mum by choice
well I had four bedrooms to fill and my Dad was dead against it and even did the 'she's not bringing the baby into my house' thing. It very nearly ended in my dis-owning of him.
Does the size of the house really matter to him ?, you say it was said to try and put you off. Is it the 'not doing things in the right way' that so many older people are stuck on ?
I was flabberghasted at the 'dont darken my doorstep' attitude of my Dad
and yes you Mum who didnt stand up for me, or tell Dad to button it. I was 40+ also mortgage free and just enough money to see me through. I think some of the older generation STILL see single parentdom something ..well to be ashamed off or at least it not to be wanted. You know, you can just about be a single parent through circumstances, but to choose it ?
Terraced houses are small, ok for a small family.
Not all terraced houses are small. There are some truly giant terraced houses near where I live.
Things like the size of the actual rooms, thickness of the walls, garden, nearness to schools, friends, public transport, local shops etc, age of the house would all come into the equation as far as I'm concerned. I think a family home is also about relationships, love etc - not just bricks and mortar. I dropped my teenage daughter off at what - to many people - would be a very desirable 'family home' i.e a 4 bedroom modern detached house in a private housing estate on the edge of an affluent town. And I just thought, 'This is my idea of hell'. (Total dependence on car - 1 bus an hour I think - no facilities, nothing for children to do there...)
People over 40, and particularly those over 50, had access to very cheap housing and have no clue about how expensive housing is these days. Generally speaking you can ignore absolutely everything they say on the subject of housing. Its a shame the government are all too keen to listen to their moronic NIMBY campaigns when they try to prevent housing being built for young families as freely as.it was back in your parents day.
People over 40/50 do still move house though so I think they do understand; whilst younger people struggle to get on the housing ladder we have struggled to be able to move to larger houses whereas our parents used to be able to start small and work their way up.
Interest rates of 15-16% and massive negative equity stopped a lot of people from moving to larger houses; price drops of some 30-40% were not unusual and so people were stuck in houses that they needed to move from but were forced into staying due to negative equity or they'd lose a lot of money.
Different times, different struggles.
<snort> at one bus an hour being "total" dependence on a car.
Location is everything. 4 of us in a 2 bedroom apartment. Small, but within 2 steps of a swimming beach, cafes, a supermarket and across the road from a large park. 10 mins walk along a waterfront promenade to work. Wouldn't move for the world.
My Dad always finds one thing to moan about when he visits, this week he saw DSs new bedroom furnished for the first time, his comment "oh doesn't his bed look tiny in here" "yes Dad it's a toddler bed and eventually he will have a bigger bed and more furniture in it" "I know but his bed looks so small"
We have just extended a 3 bed (1 tiny boxroom) into a 5 bed house. We have 4 DCs so they all have their own bedrooms now.
Last week he was telling us to knock a window through in the dining room. He's also always going on about the garden, yes it's a mud pit after the building work but we cannot afford the 2K or so it would cost to landscape it. We've also had a playroom put on the back, he was telling us to use it as a dining room, I was trying to tell him that as family a second lounge/playroom/toy dumping ground was a better use of it, no he wild make it a dining room.
He cannot visit without making some comment. I ignore most of them now.
Three bedrooms is fine and mortgage free is amazing.
Houses are only small if you have a lot of stuff. There's generally potential to downsize your stuff before compromising on other things.
3 bed house for me and DH. No way near enough space for us, but that is because we own too much rubbish.
Trills I live 4 miles outside a major city. There are buses into the city every 5 minutes and also good routes to other suburbs, the nearby town etc. This is absolutely brilliant for teenagers because they can find their way round independently.
Yes teenagers living in this particular private estate can get the single bus which takes them into town to go shopping, and get the same route to go home again. But apart from such trips their parents are probably chauffeuring them round a lot. Bikes would be possible, but some of the roads and roundabouts aren't that great. Walking into the nearest town would take a good 40 minutes and not be terribly pleasant. So one reason why I like living where I do is it's a place where my teenager and her mates can enjoy moving around independently, and get more savvy and streetwise when it comes to being used to the occasional drunk/drug users/person talking to her/himself on buses. If we lived out in the country or on the sort of posh estate I described above, our family life would be rather different.
That's called "more dependence on a car than you would like.
Not "total". Not by a long way.
IMO having the money free to spend on experiences such as holidays and days out is what will matter most your children when they look back. I don't think children care whether their house is a massive vicarage. They will remember the great times that you had and things you could do.
I think you are really sensible. Too many people push themselves financially to have houses they can't really afford. Your dad should be so proud that you are setting a great example of how to leave within your means happily.
Trills I realise that many places - especially in rural areas - are very badly off indeed in terms of public transport. The underlying point is that, to me, being at home in an area is not just about the property I'm living in. It's about the community and its facilities. If you're planning on having a family, I'd want to think about parks, playgroups, nurseries, a local library, schools etc. Because one can feel quite alone with a new baby, it's also good to have neighbours, to bump into people you know as your're walking along the street. Many new housing estates don't have that sort of infrastructure because of the assumption of car ownership. So I might prefer to live in a less obviously desirable house in a thriving community, than an estate agent's dream a long way from anywhere.
OP, our house is very similar to yours, though we still have few years left on the mortgage. We have 2 dc and are a little squashed, but happy in our home. It is well organised, cared for and decorated to our taste. And though it is small, it has everything we need. We have thought of moving from time to time, but are now glad we haven't saddled ourselves with a bigger mortgage in the current financial climate. So, the house is not a problem for us. Unfortunately, the rest of the world doesn't see it like this. I have lost count of the number of times various friends, acquaintances and family members have felt compelled to comment on the size of our house. This ranges from "your house is so lovely, shame you'll have to move" to "I don't know how you cope in here, you really need more space". We have also had invitations to our home for a meal turned down with the explanation that it would be better to meet elsewhere so everyone has space. Whilst I have a thick skin most of the time, it does get to me every once in a while! I'm beginning to wonder whether other people are so bothered by this because they want to be friends with us, but in some way would like us to live up to some image/social status they are aspiring to themselves?
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