Very lighthearted AIBU - but am I unreasonable?! Is it normal?!

(64 Posts)
MagratOfStolat Fri 15-Mar-13 09:56:48

My DS is 22 months old. DP yesterday had a day at home to do work on the computer, so I was doing my normal routine when it comes to DS - we'd play, then watch cartoons, then lunch, then naptime, then he'll play on his own while I get on with housework etcetc...

All going swimmingly until...
DP: JESUS CHRIST! Do you ever STOP TALKING?!?! (with a massive grin on his face)
Me: Eh?! Say what now?
DP: You haven't bloody shut up all day, you'll run out of words in a minute!
Us: Arfarfarf gigglegigglegiggle.

Turns out I'm on my own with DS so much that I've got a running commentary going in English and Pidgeon Welsh! "Look at the pili pala! Isn't it pretty? Are you having fun playing gyda trains ! Awww, ti'n hoffi chwarae trains! Dai iawn! Nah, bach, you can't play here, mami doing the ironing! Mami smwthio!" and on and on!

Is this just a normal "mum stuck at home" thing? I've never been one for complete silence and DP thinks it's hilarious that I'm essentially talking to myself all day long. Is it unreasonable? I didn't even realize the extent to which I was doing it!

I feel quite embarrassed now!

HappyAsASandboy Fri 15-Mar-13 10:04:04

Completely normal I hope I chunter away to myself my two toddlers all the time, which is a bit embarrassing when your realise you're doing it in tesco. I am very embarrassed that other people think I'm a 'loud parent' - I'm really not doing it for others, I barely know I'm doing it.

Keep talking. It will be helping your DCs language development smile

GirlWiththeLionHeart Fri 15-Mar-13 10:05:27


LemonPeculiarJones Fri 15-Mar-13 10:06:02

Keep talking to him!

And reply to your DH,"JESUS CHRIST! Do you ever SY ANYTHING POSITIVE?!"


exexpat Fri 15-Mar-13 10:06:34

How would toddlers learn to talk if their mothers didn't babble away all day without expecting an answe?

Schooldidi Fri 15-Mar-13 10:07:26

Perfectly normal. In fact it's very good for your DS to be talked to (as long as you give him a chance to answer, which I assume you do).

I used to have very long involved conversations with dd2 right from day one, frequently making up her answers to me because otherwise I felt like a loon blush

MagratOfStolat Fri 15-Mar-13 10:07:39

It isn't even like I'm talking directly to DS at some points, I'll start running through the list of things that I need to do... OUT LOUD! It's like I've given birth and along with my figure I've lost my inner monologue!

Thankfully DP is really understanding about it, he finds it so bloody funny!

KeatsiePie Fri 15-Mar-13 10:08:11

Totally normal. I think it's startling that my husband is not more like that!

Naysa Fri 15-Mar-13 10:09:16

I chat to my dog blush

"Oh puppy, let's make your dinner, ooh puppy likes some biscuits to go with his dinner. My, what a greedy puppy. "

He looks at me like this confused hmm

Dahlialover Fri 15-Mar-13 10:10:09

My DS didn't talk until late so it was a continual monologue all day every day, of running commentries and rhetorical questions. We even used to count the stairs..........

KeatsiePie Fri 15-Mar-13 10:10:49

Naysa I do that too and I firmly believe she loves it.

My kids are all at school and playschool now but I chat to the cats all day instead.

Poor dp comes home from dealing with customers all day and just wants some peace and quiet and I've been stuck talking to myself all day so launch at him babbling like a maniac as I'm so relieved to have another adult to speak to blush

catlady1 Fri 15-Mar-13 10:15:33

I do the same, but with my cats. So much so that I wouldn't be terribly surprised if they started talking back. Yanbu grin

TinyPawz Fri 15-Mar-13 10:23:38

I'm temporarily living back at home with my mother and she still does this! I'm 32 ffs. She does not draw breath from the minute she wakes til she goes to be. I have been known to occasionally say "it's quiet time now". The constant blithering drives me bonkers.

IShallCallYouSquishy Fri 15-Mar-13 10:26:59

I announced to my DH yesterday that "mummy is going wee wee". Needless to say I got a bit of an odd look!

AmandaLF Fri 15-Mar-13 10:30:09

I do the same. Keep finding myself blowing Dh noisy kisses when my lb is in bed.

AmandaLF Fri 15-Mar-13 10:30:57

I've never announced to him that I'm going for a wee wee though. That's quite funny.

omri Fri 15-Mar-13 10:33:10

lol i am the exact same! sounds completely normal to me!

CalamityJ Fri 15-Mar-13 10:34:47

Apparently (according to research) communication like you've described encourages positive attachment and reinforces good infant mental health. So carry on! grin

Pauldl Fri 15-Mar-13 10:35:18

As a DH, I'm no expert (we're awaiting our first DC in June) but I'd imagine this is not just normal but fairly important to the development of a child's language and communication skills? If you spent all day in silence, children would never learn to talk!!!

Jojobump1986 Fri 15-Mar-13 10:37:20

OP, are you me?! grin I do exactly that, down to the pigeon-Welsh & pili pala obsession! DS flaps his hands & hyperventilates whenever I mention pili palas. It's so cute!

oldraver Fri 15-Mar-13 10:39:54

Its normal, its how a baby/toddler learns language

MagratOfStolat Fri 15-Mar-13 10:40:11

Jojo! Mine does too! And we've learnt how dinosaurs go - when I point at one he'll stomp both his feet, make claws with his hands and go RAWRRR! I've never loved anything more. It's so freaking cute!

KeatsiePie Fri 15-Mar-13 10:42:28

Squishy that is hilarious.

ebwy Fri 15-Mar-13 10:47:09

I do the exact same thing with my 2 year old and 4 month old - including switching between Welsh and English at random!

da iawn i ti!

paperclips Fri 15-Mar-13 10:47:38

It's good for them. I do it all the time, out and about, in the supermarket. Its kind of partly talking to myself.

"We need to buy some more bananas because naughty daddy ate them all up."

I did this yesterday in Asda in a part of town where I've noted most people don't talk to their little children much, apart from bellowing "get 'ere naaaaa" at them. Yes, that sounds very judgy, but its an observation. And yes i'm being snobby. My point being I probably stood out a bit.

When I talk to DS my accent disappears and I sound a bit posh and sing-songy, like a children's TV presenter.

I still have trouble remembering not to say "look, choo choo" when the train goes past - my dt's are almost 18.......

Thumbwitch Fri 15-Mar-13 11:04:51

I certainly did this when DS1 was a baby; less so as he got older. Now I have baby DS2 and I'm finding I'm doing it again. Normal, good for them! And even better if you're adding in a second language smile - wish I could do that. envy

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Fri 15-Mar-13 11:05:14

I knew I had a problem when I started doing it out the house when I was on my own.

paperclips Fri 15-Mar-13 11:14:16

Ican'tbelieveitsnotbutter- yes me too!

I am worried I will keep doing this when I go back to work, using silly words in serious situations.

mrsjay Fri 15-Mar-13 11:35:20

I used to do that with mine my dd 1 spoke early I am smug that is was all my hard work grin
It is how babies and toddlers learn to speak and communicate and I work with parents who dont speak to their babies very much and when one does I always have a huge smile on my face as you can see their babies toddlers switch on like a little light bulb,

Buzzardbird Fri 15-Mar-13 11:59:05

It's lovely that you talk to your children all the time smile.

I was praised by my HV for talking to DD when she was a baby and I thought it was strange as I thought everyone would do that?
DD's teacher informed me on parents evening that DD uses some words that you wouldn't expect from a 6yr old. I thought smile and then when I thought about it I was worried in case she meant 'adult' words shock.

Tell DH not to use 'Jesus Christ!' in front of DC's or that could be one of their first words grin

InsertCleverNameChangeHere Fri 15-Mar-13 12:02:20

One day at school pick-up I said bye to my daughter's teacher and blew her a kiss blush

I used to do the running commentary thing, then my older two got up a bit and now they talk constantly. Now, I appreciate the silence too much when I'm alone!

HoHoHoNoYouDont Fri 15-Mar-13 12:02:35

I talk to my cat constantly! He loves it, tilts his head and everything so I know he's listening intently grin

Dh has started asking me if I'm talking to him or if its my inner monologue as I talk to myself all the time! Even when ds isn't there. blush

Maebe Fri 15-Mar-13 13:51:44

I was on my own in the office quite regularly when I returned from mat leave. I started giving commentaries to the empty air... blush

NotWilliamBoyd Fri 15-Mar-13 13:56:54

Ooh takes me back to when my DC were younger, I was driving along one day and exclaimed, "Ooh look at the big red tractor!"
Only then did i remember that i was not even with my kids, but was driving 2colleagues to a meeting in the next town.
They were great about it, didnt rib me at all for being quite so interested in farm vehicles...... hmm

NotWilliamBoyd Fri 15-Mar-13 13:58:57

Mind you, a different colleague made us all laugh when just before setting off on a long drive to some training she asked us absentmindedly if we'd all 'had a last wee and remembered to wash your hands?'

MagratOfStolat Fri 15-Mar-13 14:32:12

This thread is killing me grin some people are hilarious! NotWilliamBoyd - I would have CRIED laughing if she'd said that to me, but I would have known where she was coming from.

Well at least I'm normal...ish!

Squinkie Fri 15-Mar-13 14:40:06

Yes entirely normal.
I did once say my PIN number out loud to small child as I typed it into machine in a shop. Oops! Cashier girl looked at me like I was mad.

NotWilliamBoyd Fri 15-Mar-13 14:59:02

Magrat - well indeed i think we all understood why she said it! A male colleague - also a parent - laughed at what she said and replied that he had been for his last wee already and yes, he had remembered to put the seat donw........

NotWilliamBoyd Fri 15-Mar-13 14:59:30

Down!!! Sorry.

mrsjay Fri 15-Mar-13 16:43:24

I have no little children anymore so I bore talk to the dog all day long, never answers me though

KatyPeril Fri 15-Mar-13 16:46:29

My daughter is at school all day and I still babble away to myself.

mum47 Fri 15-Mar-13 16:50:54

I once said along the lines of "Byedarlinghaveanicedaydon'tworktoohard" to the postie, so used am I to such chuntering when waving the dcs off to school. Her fled looking suitably alarmed.

Anyways OP, you must clearly rise to the challenge and "never stop talking"

StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Fri 15-Mar-13 17:17:04

I did the 'oooh look at the cows' when on a train... on my own blush and once said 'love you' to my boss when he rang off after a call.

paperclips Fri 15-Mar-13 20:47:15

I once called my boss "mum"

ClippedPhoenix Fri 15-Mar-13 20:59:18

I did this constantly too OP.

I also took him with me to every room if I was going to be in there for more than 5 mins, yep, that included the bathroom due to not wanting him to feel lonely grin

TooExtraImmatureCheddar Fri 15-Mar-13 21:07:36

I talk to my 1 yo and my dog! DD grins and babbles back. In fact, I often parrot her noises back at her - she says "a-wah?" and I say "a-wah" back. The other day a colleague called my name and I turned round and asked "a-wah?" blush The shame!

discrete Fri 15-Mar-13 21:16:19

This thread has given me the best laugh all day, particularly the colleague asking whether everyone had weed!

I do do this with the dc, have done since they were born, and so does dh...but each of us only notices when the other does it! I think it's a fairly instinctive thing, as someone said it's how they learn to talk, but it's also fairly normal to not notice you are doing it.

Didactylos Fri 15-Mar-13 21:36:13

I once gave a colleague a lift home from the night shift
and we were chatting like normal humans
until in my slightly sleepless state I noticed something and turned into full on toddler mode, enunciating clearly
'oooh, look, its a FIRE ENGINE, baa-bu baa-bu baa-bu'
My co worker is in his 30s and has no children

Thumbwitch Sat 16-Mar-13 06:41:25

TooExtra - that made me laugh so hard I coughed! grin

jaggythistle Sat 16-Mar-13 06:56:16

DS1 copies us talking back to his 11 Mo brother. The three of us were sitting having a ba ba ba, da da da conversation at the table yesterday.

DH is a SAHD and a bit of a geek so DS1 comes out with all sorts of stuff to his nursery teacher about space ships etc.

MammaTJ Sat 16-Mar-13 06:56:22

I worked in a shop for a while.

I clearly was not suited to it as when a customer came in and said 'Show me where the 4' sheets are' my reply was 'When you say please I will'.

Luckily he laughed and corrected himself rather than reporting me to head office.

KaraStarbuckThrace Sat 16-Mar-13 07:07:29

I have done this with both kids, giving them running commentries. I think it must look odd when I'm doing in the supermarket and people fail to spot DD in her carrier on my back grin though normally she is chuntering right back at me very loudly grin

Not only did I do a running commentary when they were little, I used to sing half of it. In a variety of musical styles. smile

HermioneHatesHoovering Sat 16-Mar-13 08:00:31

Oh yes ThreeBeeOneGee I did the singing thing too! Now when I am at home on my own I often make up songs composed of swear words to amuse myself, just have to make sure I don't do it in company shock

I definitely think there's a market for Mumnset: the musical, or even Mumsnet: the opera.

JennyPiccolo Sat 16-Mar-13 08:33:49

Smwthio! Fantastic word.

I still do it...and my two are 4 & 8 smile we count everything as well (DD2 starts school in August), look for numbers and colours when out which usually leads to me screaching "Look DD2! It's a YELLOW car!!! And theres the number 6 and 3 in the number plate! What letters can you see DD2" DH just shakes his head grin

MadMumToThree Sat 16-Mar-13 08:44:00

Completely normal! When my DCs were little i wd peg the washing out with a running commentary 'mummy's knickers' daddy's pants' blue socks etc even counting socks as pegged or as they got older 'a,b,c etc grin
Just need to stop doing it now I peg the washing on my own blush

MagratOfStolat Sat 16-Mar-13 13:25:39

DS was in bed last night around 7.

Around 8 I start finishing off the ironing (or "smwthio" if you're JennyPiccolo and you love the word wink)

DP: What was that??
Me: What? Is he awake?
DP: No - you!
Me: What did I do?!
DP: You started singing Mike The Knight!
Me: Did not!


shouldn't be so bloody catchy then!

I thought you were going to ask if you were being unreasonable to object to your DH swearing in front of DS, I found it very difficult to get out of the habit when mine were younger.

I used to take DD to nursery and walk back with an empty pushchair and more than once found myself talking to it. I'm in the house alone a lot now the DCs are at school and I do still find myself talking out loud as if they were there.

Toasttoppers Sat 16-Mar-13 13:35:47

I chat to the cat quite a bit, she does respond and has a range of miaows and chirrups.

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