To feel a bit upset that my DH has decided we are not celebrating UK Mother's Day despite being British, we have to celebrate on 21st for UAE MD...

(49 Posts)
Samie10 Sun 10-Mar-13 12:03:43

Its my first Mother's Day. I was upset this morning to find out my husband has made the decision that we will have MD on the 21st as that is when it is celebrated in the UAE where we live. Now, I know I will get a MD, but, we are English and everyone else I know here (Who is English) celebrates the UK day...other than us it transpires....I was actually a little bit excited this morning about it (is that sad?!)......should i just shut up and look forward to the 21st?

CocacolaMum Sun 10-Mar-13 12:06:28

Yes. Hth


When you say 'made the decision' ... is it possible this means 'forgot until just now'?!

Sorry, but it does sound a bit convenient.

If you were hoping for something no wonder you're a bit disappointed, but tell him so, it doesn't matter so long as you talk about it.

WorraLiberty Sun 10-Mar-13 12:14:58

I agree he probably forgot, otherwise you would have had this conversation beforehand surely?

Hissy Sun 10-Mar-13 12:16:06

AH, FFS, your first? And you couldn't celebrate BOTH, let alone the UK day? I'm sorry, but I think your H is an idiot, and actually very bloody mean!

What's HIS problem with spoiling the mother of his child, on ONE day a year? You don't skip the first opportunity to make a mother feel special.

I think you have every right to be very pissed off.

What's this bloke like celebrating your birthday etc?

aldiwhore Sun 10-Mar-13 12:17:03

Well HE shouldn't have made that decision really, and although it is trivial in the gran scheme of things, YANBU to be pissed off!

diddl Sun 10-Mar-13 12:17:35

We're in Germany & only do the one here.

And the one FD here.

Apart from the time we happened to be in UK on MD-so I got 2 that year-MILwas most pissed off.

TallyGrenshall Sun 10-Mar-13 12:18:07

Does it really matter that you have to wait a whole 11 days? Really?!

We're not doing Mothers Day today either, cos OH is at work so we're doing it next month. As long as I get a day of being spoilt then it doesn't matter what everyone else is doing

SirBoobAlot Sun 10-Mar-13 12:20:28

No, YANBU. Who made him king of the fucking world?

Samie10 Sun 10-Mar-13 12:20:33

I did 'subtly' remind him..he honestly thought that it was a good idea to choose one. I think I am probably being a bit pathetic (I know I am) but I thought it was a wind up this morning and he was going to produce a card..or a cup of tea..
He is great with Xmas and birthdays...just poor judgment perhaps this time.... Ill check to see if Fathers Day actually exists here and if it dosn't I say we cant celebrate it!

diddl Sun 10-Mar-13 12:23:16

"Who made him king of the fucking world? "

Blimey-overreaction much??

He's chosen to do it on the day of the country that they live in-bastard!

HoldMeCloserTonyDanza Sun 10-Mar-13 12:23:23

He's really U to only bring it up now. I hope he apologised for upsetting you.

Having said that, when we lived in the States we only ever celebrated US Mother's Day. It's much better to go with the one where you actually live.

C0smos Sun 10-Mar-13 12:26:12

Sorry YABU
Where I live Mother's Day is in May (I think, might be June) it wouldn't even cross my mind to celebrate on the UK day when we don't live in the UK.
If you want to live overseas then you have to accept things are sometimes different. My DS would be really confused if we celebrated on the wrong date as they have a mums day theme at school that week and make cards etc.
My mum lives in the UK though and I always forget until a few days before as there are no reminders in the shop, plus you can't buy Mother's Day cards here so she always gets a blank one!

captainmummy Sun 10-Mar-13 12:26:13

He's chosen not to celebrate mothers day today? Is it his decision? As your are the mother in question, surely it's your decision?

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 10-Mar-13 12:28:12

How ridiculous, of course you should celebrate both.
The English one with flowers and card and a cake and being taken out for the day.

The UAE one with lots of expensive gold jewellery. grin
And another meal out.

Samie10 Sun 10-Mar-13 12:32:32

TheNebulousBoojum I love that idea!
Im only upset (and only a bit) because all of our UK friends celebrate today....anyway in the grand scheme of things it dosn't really matter - i know that!!

SavoyCabbage Sun 10-Mar-13 12:35:05

I celebrate it at the same time as my mother who is in England.

complexnumber Sun 10-Mar-13 12:36:25

But today is a bog standard week day here, isn't it? Your DH has decided to go with the day that means your MD is on the weekend. Unless he does shifts or something doesn't that mean you get to spend more time together, he can take the baby etc on the 21st?

Samie10 Sun 10-Mar-13 12:39:03

Yes its is and Im at my desk working really hard.
Im just being pathetic I know I am, i fancied a little rant!

Pickles101 Sun 10-Mar-13 12:44:17

Today is a bog standard weekday!? I thought it was Sunday!

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 10-Mar-13 12:44:40

Don't waste the energy, plan for next year!

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 10-Mar-13 12:45:39

Pickles, Friday is the Key day of the week in Islamic countries, not Sunday.

Samie10 Sun 10-Mar-13 12:47:29

Our working week is Sunday to Thursday, our weekend is Friday and at work for 13 more minutes...tick, tock....

Pickles101 Sun 10-Mar-13 12:48:16

Sorry, didn't realise that poster was UAE based too!

Pickles101 Sun 10-Mar-13 12:51:02

My OH is Australian, do what I'm going to do and have two grin

What's HIS problem with spoiling the mother of his child, on ONE day a year?

He is going to spoil her. When it is mothers day in the country they live in

diddl Sun 10-Mar-13 12:57:33

Looking back at OP-it is your first, so I don't think it would have hurt him to bring breakfast in bed.

Could he still cook lunch or you all go out or something?

The Mums you know who are celebrating today-will they celebrate on the 21st as well?

Labootin Sun 10-Mar-13 13:03:52

To be fair the shops here in Dubai are full of Mother's Day tat, and the dcs school (international) had the PTA selling gaudy jewellery for 5dh a pop

Lots of countries have different days

It does seem a bit mean if you are going to "celebrate" it that it's on another day to all the FUCKING AWFUL Facebook updates about speshul mommies

Sorry did I just go off on a tangent rant ?

Hissy Sun 10-Mar-13 13:50:39

What day do they celebrate Christmas in Dubai then? hmm

Watch it OP, it'll be a slippery slope if you're not careful.. wink

Seriously, I do think he's being a bit mean. It wouldn't have hurt him to have made you a cuppa and at least done a mini MD thing.

How would he like it if YOU woke up and decreed on Father's Day that you'll leave it for a day that belongs to another culture/country, and therefore means little, or less to you.

If you'd have discussed and agreed this, there'd be no issue, but the fact that he's decided it all is what's no doubt disappointed you.

I have to do the USA one as live abroad and DH doesn't remember if no obvious cards in supermarket

Pandemoniaa Sun 10-Mar-13 14:10:40

As someone else said on here yesterday, it appears that you want the penny and the bun. I honestly can't see the issue. Surely you celebrate Mother's Day on the day it falls where you live? To do differently would make as much sense as deciding to change your clocks when they change in the UK, despite living in the US.

Admittedly, we don't know the backstory so far as your dh's predilection for getting out of things but waiting until it is Mother's Day where you live doesn't seem like an absolute tragedy, no.

Iteotwawki Sun 10-Mar-13 14:18:24

YABU - it wasn't Mother's Day here either (nz) so we didn't do anything for it (I'm working anyway). We'll do something for the nz one later this year - the boys will make cards at school, there will be more hype about it in the shops and we'll probably go out for lunch.

While I understand the reasoning behind wanting to be appreciated as a mother - you're not in the uk, enjoy the day when it's celebrated in your country.

We don't do uk Father's Day either, we do nz FD.

And I get a cuppa brought to me every morning!

quoteunquote Sun 10-Mar-13 14:40:15

I thought the rules were if you are british and happened to be living abroad when mother day happened, you celebrate both. At least that what has always happened in our family.

nickelbabe Sun 10-Mar-13 14:48:00

just thought i'd point out that it's not mother's day in the uk either - it is mothering sunday there is no mother's day here. officially.

it's a church thing - 4th Sunday in lent.
you could argue this case with your dh if you're christian - that you want to celebrate mothering Sunday because that's a christian festival. however, if you're not cgristian tgat argument won't work.
in which case you'd be better to just celebrate the (secular) mother's day on the 21st.

however, I would like to say that if he planned this (and hadn't just forgotten) then a) he should have told you that you would be celebrating md on 21st and not uk mothering Sunday and b) because he didn't, he owes you a treat today.

BeckAndCall Sun 10-Mar-13 14:54:10

Well, my DS is inCanada and it looks like he's chosen to celebrate the North American date in May. No way he would have known it was today, tbh.

I'm not sure how your DH would really have known it was Mother's Day here - it wouldn't be on top of my mind if we lived somewhere else, tbh. So if he has made a 'mistake' I'd say it was easily done.

A (male) friend of mine posted this morning: 'as a multi-ethnic family we are proud to celebrate ALL of our families traditions. That is why we will be celebrating British Mothering Sunday AND the US's Mother's Day. Have a good one, mothers!' I thought this was lovely. Ps I know Mother's Day is not just for the US but that's where they're from...

Labootin Sun 10-Mar-13 15:31:52

Hissy ..Christmas is not officially celebrated,it's a working day unless it falls at the weekend friday and saturday (dh had to log it as holiday)

You do get short hours during the month of Ramadan, and there are a few Eid holidays and the Prophets birthday and Islamic New Year to make up for it though.

ANYHOO it's the OPs first Mothers mothering Sunday day so perhaps she should catch a break.

gameday Sun 10-Mar-13 15:37:52

Always much better to celebrate the one in the country you're living in. That way the kids make little things for you at school, cards & gifts are in the shops, and it's easier for your family to remember. Also more fun to celebrate when the majority of the nation you're in is doing it! Just make sure he knows you're expecting 2 weeks of preparation to pay off big time...

robino Sun 10-Mar-13 15:42:40

We are also apparently celebrating on 21st (we're in Doha); I was informed last night in case I had expectations today...

Hissy Sun 10-Mar-13 15:47:55

Thanks Labootin, I was being sarcastic though,: ) I've lived in such places myself, and was making the point (badly) that if her H decides to go native, he'd be bah-humbugging christmas next!

alarkaspree Sun 10-Mar-13 15:49:16

I sympathise with him actually because I am in the US and only realised it was UK mother's day yesterday from reading about it on here. Luckily my mother is also abroad at the moment so she will not notice that I have forgotten.

I am happy to celebrate the one for the country that I'm in because my children are 8 and 6, old enough that it's not really up to DH any more, and it is more fun for them to celebrate the same day as everyone else.

alarkaspree Sun 10-Mar-13 15:50:12

YANBU to prefer to celebrate today though, let your dh know for next year.

robino Sun 10-Mar-13 15:51:49

We are also apparently celebrating on 21st (we're in Doha); I was informed last night in case I had expectations today...

KatieMiddleton Sun 10-Mar-13 15:59:21

<whispers> Do you actually have a baby or are you pregnant? If it's the latter there will be many who will not do mothers' day at all

But regardless, yabu as you know grin

I only get one and it is the Canadian one. TBF DH is Canadian and DD is mostly Canadian (one parent and born here). For my first I insisted on both and DH thought I was being a fruit loop. Bastard.

Samie10 Sun 10-Mar-13 18:28:21

Ha ha I said the same to DH about home and had a gorgeous gift from my beautiful DD...DH came good....looks like I get 21st aswell so happy I said previously, it was not the end of the world, just had woken up felling a bit excited as Mother's Day is a first for me as a mummy...all good in the end!

KatieMiddleton Sun 10-Mar-13 21:11:34

Tsk. He's making those dh's who popped out for a gift today with the kids look bad wink

Glad you had a nice day.

yeay! grin
good man - good dh points to him [star]

MumofWombat Sun 10-Mar-13 22:14:47

We celebrate the Australian dates for Mothers and Fathers Day. Including for my parents who live in the UK. They like the fact that they get two days!

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