To think I am going to have to divorce my husband aren't I. He has AWFUL taste.

(40 Posts)
AngryFeet Wed 06-Mar-13 22:06:08

We are in the process of buying our first house having lived together in rented for the 12 years we have been together. I love DH very much but sadly we are incompatible.... in the decorating sense that is. I suppose I have always known deep down. He was gazing lustfully at a white leather L shaped sofa a few years ago in DFS. I managed to steer him away towards a nice brown twill number from Next.

But now we are going through ideas of how to decorate the new house. He has bought some prints in America of random things like piano keys and blossom covered trees that he thinks we can hang up on the wall up the stairs. He also wants glass shelves for our books that are underlit with lights that change colour.

He is leather, glass and metal - I am fabric and wood. Can we ever make this work? sad

cozietoesie Wed 06-Mar-13 22:08:11

Allocate him a 'den' to splurge all over. Do the rest of the place as you want it.

SirBoobAlot Wed 06-Mar-13 22:08:32

Leave the bastard!

TheChaoGoesMu Wed 06-Mar-13 22:09:40

You need to compromise in the name of love grin

AngryFeet Wed 06-Mar-13 22:12:41

A bit frightened by this splurging den idea. Does it has something to do with porn?

There is a brick built workshop in the garden that he is already calling the Man Cave. Maybe he could just live in there?

Hassled Wed 06-Mar-13 22:12:54

I had this with DH. I broke him in the end - don't worry, it can be done.

You need to start a campaign of subtle, insiduous and relentless put-downs about all of the things he likes, until eventually you reach the point where he doubts his taste in anything and knows he needs to defer to you. It sounds harsh and cruel, but it's the only way.

pictish Wed 06-Mar-13 22:12:59

Oh dear.
Glass shelves. With coloured lights. My my.

Congrats on the new home though! grin

Lueji Wed 06-Mar-13 22:13:23

LTB. smile

Can you do wood and glass, for example?
Or do one room more your style and another his?

Or mix and match.

For example I have two lovely old fashioned Persian rugs in a minimalist type living room.
Ex didn't like them, but I think they add warmth and colour to the room.

Or have a nice throw over the white leather sofa?

And veto changing lights.
And he vetoes those frilly pillows you never really wanted to buy.

pictish Wed 06-Mar-13 22:13:37

hassled grin
Sage advice.

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Wed 06-Mar-13 22:15:21

Buy him a shed. Put it at the bottom of the garden and create a very intricate maze between the shed and the house. By the time he's found his way back to the house you'll have decorated it as you want it and it would be a waste of money to do it again when you don't need to.

wink

Cherriesarelovely Wed 06-Mar-13 22:16:25

don't worry OP, that is exactly what my DP (female) was like when she moved in with me some 7 years ago. Luckily she was working from home so made our box room into a little office and that is where the ceramic meerkats, plastic moles in Formula 1 outfits and airbrushed portrait of Ayrton Senna now resides!!!!!

Hassled Wed 06-Mar-13 22:17:42

plastic moles in Formula 1 outfits grin grin

Cherriesarelovely Wed 06-Mar-13 22:20:46

I know!!!!! I feel like posting a pic!

sicutlilium Wed 06-Mar-13 22:21:20

I recommend that you both take a course of instruction and convert to the shabby-chic-threadbare-rug-loose-cover-Liberty-Oriental-Basement look. The dirt doesn't show and you will save a fortune, which will be handy on both counts if you have children.
In Lilium Towers we still have 16 cartons of books unpacked from when we moved (in north London, natch) 13 years ago.

cozietoesie Wed 06-Mar-13 22:22:12

Yep. The Man Cave sounds like your best bet. Every time he mentions eg fluorescent strips under the sofa, just say 'For the Man Cave.'

If you're lucky, he'll spend most of his free time there.

grin

NumericalMum Wed 06-Mar-13 22:25:08

Oooh I have a suggestion!! What I had to do was show my Dh photos from magazines of how lovely my ideas were and how shite his were and in the end he agreed with me every time!!

AngryFeet Wed 06-Mar-13 22:27:09

Oh we have children already. Dirty little buggers, I dont know why we are bothering to decorate the place at all. Maybe DH AND the DC can live in the Man Cave and I can have the house exactly how I like it AND noone will mess it up.

DH likes Formula 1 actually Cherries. Not sure even his taste could sink that low however grin

Magrathea Wed 06-Mar-13 22:30:03

Ahhh OP, there are two things you need here, "the look" and "the list".

The Look is what you do when he runs eagerly up to anything he likes in a furniture or decorating store. It differs between women but mine is one raise eyebrow and pulling mouth to one side whilst making a disapproving mmmm noise. This technique will take time to train into him but it helps if you have a treat in mind for distraction - pub generally works.

The List is again a distraction technique and the thing which has been bred into the DNA of women since we wandered the plains of Africa. When he starts to get ideas on decor or, anything really, be ready with "The List" of jobs which need doing around the house and distract with that, by the time he has finished the allocated task he will have forgotten all about the decorating. Of course "The List" never gets any smaller, if you need advice on compiling one, ask any woman who's husband has recently, or is about to retire for advice.

OrangeLily Wed 06-Mar-13 22:31:31

Plastic meerkats.... In formulae one outfits.... What?!?! Or was it moles? Either way please explain.

Do what I do on occasion, "Hahahhaha very funny, I know you wouldn't seriously make me have those hideous <insert other yucky words> <insert name of thing> hahahahaha"

Then looked shocked when he insists he's not taking the piss.

cozietoesie Wed 06-Mar-13 22:32:01

Fair points. And a new house? Must be loads of preparatory works to do before decorating. Plastering, electrics yadda yadda.

motherinferior Wed 06-Mar-13 22:34:32

I second the sicutlilium approach. The Inferiority Complex differs only in being in sarf London.

Grumpla Wed 06-Mar-13 22:43:27

I want a plastic mole in a Formula 1 outfit!!!!

sicutlilium Wed 06-Mar-13 22:47:48

motherinferior some of my best shabby-chic-threadbare-rug-loose-cover-Liberty-Oriental-Basement friends are in sarf London. smile

5Foot5 Wed 06-Mar-13 22:54:13

Well having the shite pictures up the stairs isn't such a bad idea as you will only have to see them in passing - much worse if they were hung in the living room and you had to look at them all the time.

But glass book shelves with colour changing lights? <shudder> Is he serious?

steppemum Wed 06-Mar-13 23:01:33

I have 2 beautiful pictures that I want in our living room. We have had them since first married. Dh hated them then. We lived overseas for 10 years, came back and I unpacked them from my mums attic, I showed them to dh and he thought they were alright and he could live with them.

It has taken nearly 14 years of marriage, but his taste is slowly turning grin

steppemum Wed 06-Mar-13 23:05:06

Show him some truly hideous designs that you know he will hate. Then after a couple of weeks show him the things you really like. He will be so relieved he will say yes!

INeverSaidThat Wed 06-Mar-13 23:31:59

Not quite Formula 1 hmm

meddie Wed 06-Mar-13 23:41:16

Constantly bombard him with books, magazines about home decorating. Multiple paint charts with hour long discussions on whether to pick 'buttercream' or creamybutter' colour for the walls. Literally bore him to death about it, until he wants to skewer his brain with boredom. Then offer to take over all the decorating.

Sounds as if the OP's taste isn't any better.

AngryFeet Thu 07-Mar-13 11:50:26

Erm why Toad? I haven't mentioned anything I like yet! Apart from a sofa I bought 6 years ago hmm

LadyRainicorn Thu 07-Mar-13 11:56:49

Colour changing lit up glass shelves? How do I get them for the bathroom?

akaemmafrost Thu 07-Mar-13 12:03:39

A smirk and "seriously?!" to every suggestion is the way forward.

MummytoMog Thu 07-Mar-13 12:12:04

OH isn't allowed opinions on home decor. EVER. He's also not allowed to buy his own clothes, dress the children (seriously, DD at three has better taste and can tell what colours match) or do DIY. I let him buy his own shoes the other day and he came back with bovver boots. When ALL of his clothes are basically cords and chinos, shirts and nice polo shirts in greens, greys, mustard and blues. And manligans. Which as you can imagine, look LOVELY with black army boots with two inch soles.

Thankfully DH is prepared to steer clear of my communion with the mothership (Ikea) and allow me to decorate as I wish. In return, I undertake all home decorating projects and don't expect him to help.

Isittimeforgin Thu 07-Mar-13 12:15:10

Oh I sympathise! When I met dh his flat looked like his nan mum had decorated it - it was hideous. We have since lived in 4 houses and have, along the way, managed to somehow not have any of his original stuff left grin

I went out with someone who desired something like this and drooled over it every time we passed the shop where it was displayed.

I didn't finish with him because of that but it may have subconsciously been the reason!

communion with the mothership (Ikea)

me too wink

Bonsoir Thu 07-Mar-13 12:19:53

You need a therapist professional decorator. This is their job - to make couples agree on sofas.

Isittimeforgin Thu 07-Mar-13 12:20:16

Ooh onthebottom there are no words to adequately express my awe! grin

NoisesOff Thu 07-Mar-13 12:21:59

OP, I feel for you, I really do. When I first met DH I could have wept over his Ikea laminate pretend-beech furniture and all his navy blue and stripes and his giant aerial photos of Washington DC on the walls. Sorry, I know some people will think I'm crazy, but this stuff is really really important to me. So now we share a house, his more extreme stuff has gone in the cupboard or his workshop, my more extreme stuff has gone in my study, and we're gradually making a lovely home with interesting antiques and lots of colour and unusual objets .

[And.... breathe ....]

I am loving "The Look" and "The List" Magrathea

Dare I say it - it's a work of genius!!!

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