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To ask my OH to clear You Porn from my iPad history?!

(46 Posts)
Tinks30 Tue 05-Mar-13 20:21:28

So I firstly have to say I don't mind if my OH wants to watch porn. We have a good sex life and he's not playing away. I just get so hacked off at switching on my iPad to be faced with a freeze frame of some porn video! This is not the first time he's done this and I don't for one minute think its done intentionally but how can I broach this subject? Get it off my iPad! shock

Why don't you clear it yourself and then ask him not to watch it on your iPad?

Fairenuff Tue 05-Mar-13 20:24:09

Really? Just tell him confused

StuntGirl Tue 05-Mar-13 20:25:54

In your position I'd tell him you couldn't care less that he watches porn but you don't want to see it every time you turn on your ipad. You expect him to clear it from your ipad next time he's watched it. And that if it happens again you simply won't let him use it in future.

Seabright Tue 05-Mar-13 20:27:32

Put a pass code on the iPad and don't tell him the code. Problem solved.

oldraver Tue 05-Mar-13 20:28:39

Yes, passcode it

AnyFucker Tue 05-Mar-13 20:30:22

Treat him like the hormonal, can't-be-arsed teenager he is acting like, and confiscate the Ipad

Jobzagudun

SpanishFly Tue 05-Mar-13 20:30:58

I don't get how you're happy for him to watch porn yet not comfortable talking to him about it...? confused

Tinks30 Tue 05-Mar-13 20:38:43

Lol AnyFucker! It is reminiscent of being back at home with my pubescent brothersgrin

I didn't say I was happy I just don't mind but I don't want to have to look at it myself.

AnyFucker Tue 05-Mar-13 20:39:44

do you have dc, btw ?

Tinks30 Tue 05-Mar-13 20:43:00

Yes but they're v young so it's generally kept up high out of their reach

WellSlapMyThighAndCallMeNancy Tue 05-Mar-13 20:44:57

He is BU.

YouPorn is crap.

StickEmUp Tue 05-Mar-13 20:47:15

Tell him to buy his own ipad for porn.

AnyFucker Tue 05-Mar-13 20:53:51

You know why I am asking, dontcha

And they won't always be too young to reach the evidence of "freeze framed" sexual images darling daddy has been gawping at

Tinks30 Tue 05-Mar-13 20:56:03

Tres good point AnyFucker. I shall man up and have a serious chat about this. They already love playing with the kiddie apps on my phone so you're right.....it won't be long.

AnyFucker Tue 05-Mar-13 20:59:35

And his phone ?

Do the kiddiwinks play with his phone ?

I would imagine someone with such poor impulse control coupled with an appalling memory and can't-be-arsed attitude is a prime candidate for having porn on his phone too

Tinks30 Tue 05-Mar-13 21:00:57

No, his is password protected luckily

Beepbeep1 Tue 05-Mar-13 21:01:41

My DH clears the porn.

Tinks30 Tue 05-Mar-13 21:01:41

No, his is password protected luckily

Nagoo Tue 05-Mar-13 21:02:18

Go into your chrome settings and tell it not to remember the history on most visited. A problem for us was if DH looked on another computer it would still remember it on the ipad as he was logged into chrome. Luckily it was me that found it! angry

It's one thing to look at it, another entirely not to secure your children.

Beepbeep1 Tue 05-Mar-13 21:02:46

And (annoyingly) logs me out of MN and FB in the process.

Tinks30 Tue 05-Mar-13 21:03:43

No, his is always password protected. We'll have words tonight. He'll be cool about it if a bit embarrassed at first blush

HillBilly76 Tue 05-Mar-13 21:25:32

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

SpanishFly Tue 05-Mar-13 21:58:44

I think you missed my point, OP. My point was that you're OK with him watching porn, but NOT OK with asking telling him to be a bit more grownup in the way he does it.

SpanishFly Tue 05-Mar-13 21:59:33

Which seems a back-to-front attitude.

ChairmanWow Tue 05-Mar-13 22:55:00

My DH doesn't watch porn because he actually has respect for women. We're old fashioned like that in our house.

I had an ex who used to leave porn sites open. He was an emotionally abusive misogynist arsehole. Not saying your OH is too, but why the fuck wouldn't you take 2 seconds to clear it? Inconsiderate at best.

almostanotherday Tue 05-Mar-13 23:02:51

AF got it right IMO smile

Snazzynewyear Tue 05-Mar-13 23:03:28

Password protect your iPad and say if he wants to watch it he needs to do that on a device of his own. Don't understand why he doesn't do that anyway.

midastouch Tue 05-Mar-13 23:09:47

YANBU but i would say that, i do not like my DP watching porn we've had rows about it actually. Plus my DS uses our tablet so if he was to do that id go mad!!

SpanishFly Wed 06-Mar-13 07:11:42

I dont get the OP's attitude about this at all -
"He'll be cool about it if a bit embarrassed at first."

HE'LL be cool about it?! WTF? HE'S the one being completely unreasonable, so he SHOULDN'T be "cool" about it. And in any case, who cares if he's cool or embarrassed when he's behaving like a child?

AnyFucker Wed 06-Mar-13 08:13:54

You are not alone, SF

But I am heartily sick of attempting to puncture the denial of women who think their partner's use is a bit of a laugh, just "something men do" akin to forgetting to put the bins out

Fanjounchained Wed 06-Mar-13 08:27:18

What about women that watch it and enjoy it ? (Not necessarily You Porn but porn in general...)

Fanjounchained Wed 06-Mar-13 08:28:28

And I agree that the OP's partner is being an arse and very inconsiderate for not clearing the history...If you're cool with him looking at it then it should be a very easy conversation to have when you ask him to clear the history.

Snazzynewyear Wed 06-Mar-13 08:43:37

The OP could presumably clear the history herself. The point is she shouldn't have to. If you are ok with him watching it, OP, that's one thing but I don't see why it has to be on your time (as it were) on your device (hasn't he got am alternative?) and certainly given that the kids also use your iPad. For all those reasons, I would be saying that he can no longer use your pad for this purpose. You can draw a line between saying 'I don't mind if you do this' and 'I do mind you using my stuff to do this'.

Tinks30 Wed 06-Mar-13 10:08:13

Ok, so had the conversation. Very painless....for me at least! He was a bit sheepish and massively apologetic. I can't explain why it doesn't bother me it just doesn't. I'm not making excuses for him but I don't have particularly strong feelings about him watching it. This doesn't make me weak or whatever. I just don't want to see it myself. Thanks for your advice though. I grabbed the bull by the horns and just addressed it! grin

AnyFucker Wed 06-Mar-13 16:02:30

Could I at least ask you why you needed a thread on MN, and a fair bit of air-punching "I can do this" self-psyching up to broach this with your husband ?

If all is hunky dory, and you just needed a quiet word, why the drama ?

BelaLugosisShed Wed 06-Mar-13 16:34:20

You shouldn't save browsing history on ipads/iphones anyway, it clogs them up, even if you regularly delete history, safari saves everything if you don't use private browsing.
The google app saves all searches too unless you turn it off and it also keeps all websites visited via google on ipads.

Fairenuff Wed 06-Mar-13 17:46:18

I don't understand the point of this thread.

"My dh watches porn which is fine by me. Sometimes he forgets to clear it off my iPad when he's finished wanking. I'm going to talk to him about it and he will be cool."

Which bit was supposed to be the AIBU bit?

AnyFucker Wed 06-Mar-13 18:01:11

OP was nervous about talking to her partner about it, so started this thread for some moral support

Which does seem a bit odd, as everything is so "cool"

Tinks30 Wed 06-Mar-13 18:52:55

It seems I've posted this in the wrong forum.
I was looking for support/encouragement. On the most part I got that and I did pluck up the courage to discuss the issue. We spoke again today and apparently it's unearthed some issues that I was completely oblivious to. Sorry, if any of you felt I was wasting your time.
Turns out it wasn't "cool" after all AnyFucker.

cantpooinpeace Wed 06-Mar-13 18:56:59

Iporn grin
(Chortle)

StuntGirl Wed 06-Mar-13 19:09:30

What issues*tinks*? Please don't tell me he's thrown the "I don't get it enough from you so you forced me into it" card?

AnyFucker Wed 06-Mar-13 19:18:49

Are you ok, love?

What has come to light?

I didn't think you were wasting my time, or else I wouldn't still be here on your thread (my flippancy was actually because it was quite clear to me that something was off kilter here)

Allthingspretty Wed 06-Mar-13 19:38:44

Tell him to wank and wipe (his search his history)

SpanishFly Wed 06-Mar-13 19:47:50

anyfucker ditto, knew there was more to it than we were being told...

Fairenuff Wed 06-Mar-13 20:34:29

Tinks it just seemed a bit strange that you needed to 'pluck up the courage' to talk to him about it if he already knew that you wouldn't mind. Something didn't add up there.

But now it seems that something has come to light that you are not so ok about. If you want support, advice, whatever, just say. Let us know what the real problem is and we'll help if we can.

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