To want to throttle DH for putting every stich of DDs school uniform in the wash at 11pm?(109 Posts)
So now I have to bloody wait up for it to finish, and then hang it dry, hope it's arsing dry by 6am, which is when I'll have to get up and iron the fucking box pleats in her tunic. I could cry. And yet murder him while weeping.
And he's leaving to catch a flight at 5am, so has buggered off to bed.
I feel murderous, I really do...
You need a tumble drier.
Sympathy here. Any chance you could stop the cycle, empty it except for one set, and put it on a quick wash?
And a washing machine with a 30 minute wash cycle.
it either needed washing, or it didn't.
i hope it's very very noisy getting the washing out and ironed at 1am. perhaps you 'll unexpectedly need to find something in the bedroom with the light on??
partners who can hold down jobs well paid enough to entail international flights but not work out how washing works IRRITATE ME A LOT
also: he can sleep on the sodding flight. make him iron it
why on earth did he do that?
Go to bed, leave it in the machine overnight and iron it dry in the morning.
Or send her to school in other clothes with a very apologetic note blaming her father for
being an arse laundry incompetence.
Why was it dirty at that time on a Sunday night and what were you planning to do instead?
He shouldn't be doing stuff that makes work for you - IF he thought it needed washing but wasn't staying up to deal with it, he should have asked YOU what you wanted to do about it.
Why have you got school uniform that needs washing this late on a Sunday night? What were you planning on dressing your D in tomorrow?
I used to have lots of cheap uniform to avoid this, but secondary stuff is ££££ and now we have games kit and drama blacks to catch me out too!
He just decided, in a fit of lunacy, to gather up everything he could lay his hands on that was blue and wash it. I suppose he thought he was helping, because this is a very rare occurance.
One set was dirty and in the laundry basket. The other set had been worn on Friday only and was clean, and was what I was planning on putting her in tomorrow. He has no idea about either DD's uniform, what was clean etc. because he's usually only home after DDs are in bed.
Her uniform can't be tumble dried. And don't get me started on that.
Very annoying, but no doubt a genuine mistake.
I would try to stop the cycle and then rinse and spin and hang it over the radiator.
YANBU and you just reminded me that I washed DD's jumper earlier and it now needs to go in the tumble drier so that it is ready for the morning, so thanks for that .
Can you give a couple of bits a second spin to get more water out then put it on the radiator overnight?
The clean-enough set was folded and on her chair in her room FFS.
I think he thinks we have unlimited numbers of uniform.
You see on the one hand, I would like him to do more around the house, as we both WOH. And on the other he does shit like this and I'd be better off if he left me to get in with it as per usual.
One of the joys of school uniforms ....
<another school jumper being hurled into tumble drier for 5 minutes>
If I stop the machine, I'll have to unload everything, find a set, put it on rinse and spin cycles, then get it out.
I'm not going to gain much. Thing I'll sit here with and have a bit of a rant about useless bloody men instead...
It's not so much the late night, more the sheer bloody idiocy...
I really don't get why this is your problem - he did he, he can sort it, 5am flight or not. He can sleep on the plane.
I'd be raging. YABU for letting him fuck off to bed and leave you to deal with it, flight or no flight!
Can I just reiterate.
Box fucking pleats.
On a morning when I have to DDs to get out if the house on my own, before eight. DD may ave to be the child with the unironed pleats tomorrow.
The uber mummies will judge. Again...
I HATE uniform for exactly this reason. Every weekend starts with me saying 'uniform in the wash now!' and every weekend ends with ME looking for the damn stuff and drying it. No more.
Next weekend's instruction will be put in in the washing machine not the washing pile. Dd1 can just suck it up and get out of her uniform as soon as she gets home instead of keeping it on because she can't be arsed.
OP - I feel murderous too. Just been ranting at dh and he had the cheek to say 'what you should do is...'. I told him he could do it too!
We had a bit of a row about it. I should probably haul him out of bed. I'm a rubbish feminist, as it didn't occur to me to make him stay up and deal with it.
I do not iron anything and that includes school uniform. But I must admit that a tumble drier helps with that.
Can you now buy a tumble drier in revenge for his random act of stupidity
If his flights at 5 he won't get much sleep betwen now and then anyway. Get him up and get him to sort it out!
I tumble dry stuff for a bit and then hang it. No ironing.
We have a tumble drier. But DDs uniform can't be tumble dried. And not in a "it'll e perfectly fine in a drier and the manufacturers are just covering their arses" kind of way. In a "this will now only fit my friend's newborn" kind of way. I have seen evidence of this.
What kind of moron chooses a uniform that cannot be tumble dried AND has box pleats. [Check's 'd'h's cv to see if it was him]
Her games kit is in there too. She has PE on Monday. It can be tumble dried, it needs about 2 hours to get it dry.
That didn't need washing either.
put the heating on l;ow ovenight, the radiators get warm enough to speed up the drying but not too hot to melt the uniform... i hope!
If I were you, I'd go get him up out of bed.
Stop the wash, rinse and spin it quickly and hang it up over rads.
Or get him to do it.
Iron it tonight while it is wet and then hang it up.
DH doesn't do the laundry but if he did he'd pull that shite all the time.
At least once a week or so he will open the tumble dryer looking for something when I'm still sleeping, realize everything is still wet, and close it without turning it back on. So I'll wake up thinking DS's school trousers will be nice and dry and be treated to a sodden lump of jeans and towels instead.
Hanging's too good.
What did he think would happen next the laundry fairies would swoop in and sort the uniform?
Make him be the one to wait up for it.
Probably dumbjack... I don't actually think he thought very much at all.
Yank, he does ave firm for similar exploits. O the various rare occasions when he has attempted laundry, he usually only puts in HIS shirts, without thinking that maybe there are more pressing laundry requirements... (he owns a gazillion shirts).
Possibly this latest fuck up was a the result of over compensating for previous fuck ups...
"I've done the laundry DW!" "No, you haven't, you've done YOUR laundry."
Why are they so shit at laundry FFS? Is it deliberate?
'have form' that should be. I'm too pissed off to type.
What a twat
I'd have not let him go to bed either.
Is he being a bit P.A do you think? My employment-dodging XH once aggressively announced that he had done FOUR WHOLE loads of laundry when DD was a baby whilst I was relaxing working all day and doing the child-minder drop-off and pick-up in a taxi because he was too tired to drive us in the car I paid for.
There were only a few baby clothes in the basket. He had washed and spun all the pinks, all the whites, all the yellows and all the greens (two or three items at a time) separately.
Ah! It's finished... Going to turn up heating and drape box pleats carefully, in the hope that they won't need ironing...
The uber mummies will notice, though...
I feel like draping it over DH, but waterboarding one's DH is probably illegal...
Phew, that was close.
Hope everything is dry by tomorrow morning.
I think he was genuinely trying to help, but is just a bit of a clueless twunt when it comes to clothing/laundry...
He's South African, so it's not entirely his fault he's clueless. Maids/fairies.
Laundry WILL be dry [narrows eyes at radiator]. Entire family will be lightly baked due to having heat on all night.
We used to live in SA. It took me ages to get into the habit of packing my own groceries at the supermarket when we moved to the UK. I just used to stand their like a lemon while the cashier rang up the shopping. .
<imagines the carnage INeverSaidThat's groceries would cause at Lidl>
trying to Help........... My Arse.
he did this on a night he Knew you could talk his ear off.
And he made it so you are more unlikely to ask for his help ever again.
My DH drives me nuts with laundry too.
He works from home a lot, and used to put a wash on if it was a nice day. Great. Then he moaned he was fed up with laundry, all he seemed to do was laundry, grumble grumble, so he stopped doing it.
Fair enough, he's working from home, not a SAHP.
Then last weekend, for the first time in six or eight months, he took it upon himself to "help" with the laundry. He hung up a load, in his usual manner of "approach the washing line and chuck armfuls of clothes at it" (or so it would seem - sleeves inside out, sleeves all bumfled up at the ends, stuff all crammed together), then put on a load of towels I had intended to do the next day.
He ends up causing me more work, and he just can't see it!
Hope the uniform dried ok . Threads like this make me so glad my DH is the king of laundry and ironing. His mum suffered a stroke that left her left side paralysed when he was 10, so he had to wash and iron his clothes from an early age, and is now an expert. On saturday he washed Dd's uniform with other laundry and ironed it neatly and put each shirt and dress and trousers on hangers and in her wardrobe . All we have to do is locate socks this morning; that'll be fun.
We had a laundry issue last week. DH working from home.
Dear God he did the laundry. His own mainly. But why in the name thats holy did he fucking wash white shirts with darks.... On a BOIL WASH!!
I was at my mums that day and came back in the evening to find stuff chucked haphazardly onto the airer and crumpled up and the now blotchy stained whites on a 3hr dry cycle.
Am i a mad old bag for screaming abuse at him?
Just betting Mr designer baby went off for his 5am flight with a smile and a happy wave.......or maybe wet uniform draped neatly around his neck!
My DH isn't allowed near the laundry. He is rubbish at it. He is only allowed to put a pre loaded and set wash on with the 'on' button. Allow now I have a time delay button this is largely unnecessary.
He does the ironing instead!
I don't think he's sussed that's the wash machine does the washing for me but the iron doesn't do the ironing
Does your DH ever get kids ready for school etc?
Oh and don't worry about the Ironing Parents, please.
DH taught dd to iron the pleats into her kilt.
So now, either he does it or she does it.
I do not iron pleats.
I wash all uniform, PE kit, footie kit etc on Friday evening. If it is not in the washing basket, I do not wash it.
So, if you have no uniform at 9pm on a Sunday-not my fault.
Sounds like a few DH/dps on this thread need more practice at doing the laundry! What did they do before you did it for them? (Apart from those with maids .
Op, hope you got them to school with dryish clothes.
YANBU. I woulda killed him!
I know salt in the wound and all that but I love my mam. I have 5 sets of uniform for DD my mam gets it on Friday and it all comes back on Sunday night washed and ironed
I'm lucky lucky lucky!
My Dh is great around the house. Washing though he drives me mad. Everything no matter what material or colour all goes on the same programme and then it all goes in the drier. He has ruined various items of clothing over the years. This week alone he dyed the school blouses pink. Thank God for bleach.
I think done if you have over complicated laundry. If blues have to be washed together or towels then its hi surprise that mistakes are made.
E have one double wash basket, one side lights, one side darks. The only thing that needs doing as to pick a side and take one load out of it. The correct setting is highlighted with a big marker pen (because the washing machine is in a dark corner and its ready to forget to check).
No, I should imagine that this latest fuck up was to reinforce his crapness & therefore how important it is that he does nothing around the house
Especially when there are no consequences for him.
Has anyone yet said "bless him,he was obviously trying to help"??!!
Sorry, but how can a man be rubbish at it??
Sort clothes, put in machine & on appropriate was cycle-which a lot of women "work out" by reading care labels & washing machine manuals.
It's not programmed into us because we are female FFS!
When DH and I started living together it was in my flat. Brand new conversion that was my absolute pride and joy and I had lived there on my own for around 18 months. He had been living in a crappy rented room.
Not long after he had moved in, we had this conversation:
DH: Have I got any clean shirts?
Me: I don't know darling. Have you?
That did the trick.
What is it about men and washing machines! DH doesn't touch the washing unless asked. He would wear his last pair of socks and then come to me amazed that he doesn't have anything clean to wear. He told me once he's rubbish at it because it was all done for him when he was at school. It perplexes me, because he does everything else, just not laundry.
He did it deliberately so you'll never ask him to help again.
And fuck the 'uber mummies' whatever the hell they are. Not worth your time or attention, is what they are.
Love that BIWI! Why the hell didn't I do the same all those years ago...
And this is why I've banned my dh from doing laundry. Not because he cant figure it out (though he had shrink a number of woollen items in the past) but because I have an ordered system in' place so I never end up with so much wet washing I cant dry it and we
usually always have the clothes we need. He just washes all his stuff and then throws another wash on when I point out ds has no clean nappies left without thinking of how we're going to dry anything! (and we have no room for a tumble drier and couldn't afford to run it if we did)
So I feel your pain OP. Did you get it done in time?
I should also say that now, in this household, DH takes responsibility for the washing.
Christ, YANBU. Was he anything like my DH, all bewilderment that his attempt to "help" has been so ungraciously received? Quietly puzzled because the fact that he actually Did Something trumps all else? And you're the arse?
I got home on Saturday, with very little time and many preoccupations, to find that my DH had decided this was the very day to defrost the freezer. By that I mean, remove all the food and unplug the freezer in a "spare 10 minutes" he had before burying himself back in his work (he works at home almost constantly). So that was nice.
my dad drove my mum potty doing the laundry so she resorted to stripping us in front of the machine on Friday & turning it on. There were 4 of us so plenty of uniforms & extras to wash.
My ds is 4 & loves washing machines particularly the spin cycle. He will happily help to load the machine, put the detergent in & select the correct. wash programme. If a 4yr old can do it, I cant understand why a grown man cant.
my dad drove my mum potty doing the laundry so she resorted to stripping us in front of the machine on Friday & turning it on. There were 4 of us so plenty of uniforms & extras to wash.
My ds is 4 & loves washing machines particularly the spin cycle. He will happily help to load the machine, put the detergent in & select the correct. wash programme. If a 4yr old can do it, I do not understand why a grown man cant.
My DCs aged 12.5 and 9 can do the washing, it's one of their chores (when I remember to ask them to do it). DP is also very good at doing laundry, and is even able to wield an iron.
It's not difficult and I firmly believe any bloke who trots out the "it's difficult" line is a secret believer that it's all "wimmins work" and thus has nothing to do with them!
Why on earth did you let him go off to bed leaving you to pick up the slack?
My DH makes silly mistakes sometimes but I refuse to pick up the slack and if he makes the mistake, he has to sort it out. If he'd have done what your DH has done my attitude would be 'oh dear, well if you could make sure it's all ready and ironed for the morning then. DD will need her skirt, jumper and a shirt. I'm off to bed, night!'
My dh does exactly the same thing. I could write a book on him! He will often do exactly the same for you same scenario always late at night always the longest possible wash and as he has early starts I stay up. He will wash things the boys have worn once without even looking on them and I consider clean sometimes I think just to give me work. He once washed white polo shirts with q load of coloureds and was genuinely baffled as to why I was annoyed. He washes work clothes that need to be worn the next day. He washes random things like oven gloves always always done late at night!
The only problem with dp doing the washing is he puts whites in with coloureds. I just wash whites on a Friday now as he only ever does washing on weekends.
If he washes too much and causes a problem with drying he is told to go to the launderette as our dryer is broken
I wouldnt have gone to bed Murphy because what if dh hadn't done it and it would need to be sorted in the morning!
Can I just say, in response to all the 'why are men so useless/clueless about laundry', that my DH does the laundry and ironing in our house. I will put the washing on and sort it out sometimes but I detest ironing and DH needs his shirts ironed so he does it all.
Bit of a sweeping generalisation to say that all men are rubbish at it...
OP - I'd definitely have wanted to have made your DH stay up and deal with it but it strikes me that you are a pretty kind person who cared more that he had to get up for the flight. Just don't stand for it again!
Chocoholic, if my DH was disrespectful enough not to sort a problem he'd caused, it would have a knock on effect for him, as I'd stop cooking for him, doing his laundry and various other things, and I would also probably put his work clothes in the washer the next night very late so they would be wet the following morning.
We've had this washing machine 2 1/2 years... I STILL get asked what programme is the wash and dry setting. Wouldn't mind - we only ever use two programmes on the effing thing!
Mind you - it's progress considering we ended up in A+E with him slicing the tip of his fingerend off loading the previous washing machine with laundry!
Agree WingDefence. My DH does
all the vast majority of the laungry, the sorting out and the ironing. He does all the bed linen and towels and also the reusable nappies and he puts most of it away too. He is a teacher, so quite a stressful job too.
So OP, did you manage to get your DD ready for school in a dry uniform today?
You'll need a shovel and some lime.
When we were going out but not living together/married dh once washed a pair of red curtains with everything else and all his pants socks and tshirts were dyed pink!
I can manage to create situations like this all on my own . Having had a manic weekend of doing stuff the DC wanted to do (DH is away) I realised last night that it meant that I hadn't done the boring stuff. Rushed around to put clothes needed for this morning on the quickest wash our machine will do so that all the non-dryable bits could go on radiators - and then found the tracksuit top which DD had taken off and dumped on the floor on Friday evening . It failed the sniff test, too. So, at 10pm I stuffed another load of washing in, and then went in search of her spare top on the basis that I would otherwise have to get up and process washing at 5am (been done plenty of times before ). Fortunately I found it.
My DH is perfectly capable of doing laundry, when he has to
as long as you accept a different standard of shirt ironing and that kilts will not get ironed at all and the uber mummies will just have to judge but it does default to me. OTOH, if we are both working at home, then he does a lot more cooking than I do, so it doesn't bother me too much.
My DH's favourite habit is stripping all the beds at 7pm and putting them on a 3 hour cycle. Grr
Please tell me it was dry; the box pleats fell perfectly into place; and your 'd' h's alarm failed to go off.
(I expect in reality, nothing was dry, the box pleats were squint, and dh got up at 4 and woke you all banging about)
Yup. DD1 was in school, early with ironed box pleats. I got up at 6.15, all dry mouthed after sleeping with the heating in, to check that all was dry... Nearly was, so had a shower, then came down and ironed the dress etc. dry.
I am a bloody superwoman this morning.
I woke the DDs up, and I think they could tell by my expression and general tone of voice, that this was NOT a morning to mess mummy around. Both were as good as gold, even my terrible two DD2, who even voluntarily wore trousers without a fight. All her dresses being, you guessed it, in the same wash.
DH had left for his flight at five, and was under notice that if he woke me or the children up in the process he would be disembowelled with a rusty spoon.
Yes, I was probably too kind by not making him stay up and fix it. But he ad a day of important meetings, and today is actually my "day off" with DD2... So...
I am working in the assumption that he was inept rather than deliberate, otherwise I'd have to divorce him... Because that would be gittish in the extreme. He is thoughtless and a bit selfish, but not deliberately gittish. Usually.
Before we met he used to bundle everything in together on hot. His work shirts were taken to the dry cleaners, with his suits, everything else was grey and knackered. I have been trying for eight years to make progress with this, he does now more or less grasp the general principle, but is still careless, and doesn't think about what might be needed when.
He has two masters degrees and runs an entire charity, but cannot get his head around laundry logistics. I figure. I think despite several years of reprogramming, he's still a South African Alpha Male, and probably does consider it wimmins's work. Or Maid's work. Both of which can really just be filed under "things other people do which have nothing to do with me" cf. 'Fairies'.
God, I need coffee. Badly.
I would have suggested re-setting your DH's alarm for 3am or earlier so that he had time to iron everything before he went.
Don't get me started in bed stripping at inopportune times...
I think you should show your DH ths thread. It will help him understand what a lovely wife he has.
I am still
secretly on the side of being just a teeny weeny bit impressed he put some washing on This is probably because I lived in South Africa and knew a lot of SA men. I can't believe I am making such a ridiculous generalisation but I honestly did not know one who woud have known where the washing machine was let alone been able to turn one on. To their credit, they were all capable of fixing engines, building things and generally 'being manly' and getting things done (and braai'ing)
I had a flat tire when I was in SA and by the time I had finished changing it there was a crowd of men looking at me with amazement. Everyone of them had offered to do it for me and they couldnt believe I wanted to do it myself. Chivalrous but sexist
I'd have gone mental too. Big time.
I suppose he thought he was helping
Alls well in the end though
Glad it worked out OP.
Here-if it isn't in the washbox, it doesn't get washed.
Dh does laundry at weekends but is incapable of seeing the process through to the end for some reason. The process being get washing from basket, put in machine, put machine on, take wet washing out when finished and put in tumble dryer or hang on line, then put dry washing away.
Many many times I have found the washing machine full of sodden washing that's been sitting there for 2 days, or full of dry washing because he's only got as far as bundling it into the machine. He has never in living memory managed to even start the final putting away stage.
You need a washer/drier. Our machine has a setting so an 'outfit' (jeans, underwear, top and cardigan) can be washed and dried in 60 minutes.
Snap, doctorhamster! My DH is the same. He thinks he's 'done the washing' if he's simply overloaded our machine with any random washing, regardless of colour. He did 5 loads this weekend and has left them all for me to sort.
Oh yeah my husband gets distracted halfway through the laundry process as well... it's only because I cracked and chucked the remainder of the stuff needing to go in the drier in on the way out of the door to the hospital last night that he actually has pants this morning.
He's also bought enough shirts to survive between his mother's visits so he can sucker her into ironing them all. He's not impressed that on the list of stuff needing sorted if I get hospitalised with this new baby for any length of time I've opened the list with "NO GRANDMA IS TO IRON HIS SHIRTS - DO NOT FALL FOR THIS CRAP"
My DH is South African and he is a champion at laundry
DancesWithWool. I am glad to hear your DH does laundry. I was being a bit silly
rude making such a sweeping generalisation about a whole nation. Sorry.
I was beginning to wonder if all SA men lived with mummy or paid for a maid until they married!
This thread has just inspired me to phone DH and tell him to hang the washing out. If I don't instruct him to do so specifically, he will leave it sitting there festering nicely. His reaction to being shouted at for putting whites and darks in together was 'well, you do it then'. When he lived alone he bunged everything in one big wash (not frequently enough) and it all came out in shades of grey. So...I do 98% of the laundry and he does most of the tidying and cooking. He has been known to bung on washes if he has no socks or pants left, but avoids anything he thinks looks 'tricky', such as anything wool or man-made fibres.
My dad was South African (but now says he's Scottish
and supports Scotland rather than South Africa in rugby ) and he and mum did genuinely share all the household tasks. Not only was he capable of putting a washing on, but he would also hang it up outside on the line.
But then he's an an unusual man: a former farmer from the Northern Transvaal who retrained as a doctor and who was a true "New Man" (when there weren't that many back in theo 60s).
OP - fair dues to you!
Now, the next issue at hand - how is he going to make up for this? How on earth is a man travelling through an airport going to find something that can ever make up for his mistake?
Diddl it's because this particular man wasn't taught much practical stuff ever! It's possible that a lot of men aren't shown right because its 'women's work' but mines just wasn't shown how to do much. He can iron because his parents are business people and have to look very formal for work.
He also can't really do anything practical like hold a drill/put up a shelf/fix broken machines or understand the phrase USE A FUCKING WALL PLUG but he's learning!
I've learned not to pick up the slack though, I wouldn't let a kid away with not learning something so he doesn't get to either.
I have to say though despite being awful with practical things he is amazing at business decisions and money and I'm awful. We bought and amazing house much earlier than planned because he made us save our bums off for it.
Fuck ironing pleats, and fuck the über mummies, have a gin and tonic instead. Simple.
"Diddl it's because this particular man wasn't taught much practical stuff ever!"
But he's an adult-comes a time you have to take responsibility & teach/learn for yourself!
Dh does most of the washing and ironing here, and sorts out the non-ironing and puts that away. However, it did take me over 10 years to train him out of throwing whites and darks in together.
He is learning! He just doesn't so the washing as he does a lot of other things.
It's not necessary for each person to be able to do everything!
"It's not necessary for each person to be able to do everything!"
But then sorting laundry & sticking it in a machine is so simple I don't get why someone wouldn't be able to do it-especially if it's been explained once or twice.
Anyway, I think we're at cross purposes as I thought that you were referring to OP's husband, but now I'm thinking not.
I've been married for 25 years and once, only once, has DH put a wash on. It was a white table cloth. He'd been doing something on the dining table involving oil - may have had todo with a motorbike part but may have been a D-I-Y project. Any case, was so sure he was in trouble he put the table cloth in the wash.
Plenty of things he can do - washing doesn't really make in onto the list ( all of my kids can sort and wash though, incl DS 22 who will hand wash own designer t shirts)
Oh yes, I do it mostly because I don't go out to work & have more time.
I don't make my husband do it just for the sake of it/to prove a point.
But he can do it if necessary-if I'm ill or away for example.
I guess I just don't get how someone can't do it, I suppose.
i worked a 12 hour shift yesterday when i got home asked dh is ds1 uniform washed and dried no he replys you didnt tell me why should i ?also this morning he says is ds1 homework done no says i because they get it on a friday and it has to be in for wednesday [ds1 is in yr 1 he has two part time teachers and they take it turns every half term to set homework for the week as they work opposite ends of the week days when homework have to be in change every half term] dh says why dont youtell me things if he read the front of the homework book he would sodding know!
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