to want to scream at my friends "WE ARE NOT OLD!!!!"

(73 Posts)
BalletCrystal Sun 03-Mar-13 19:08:33

We have been a group of friends since school, we are all now currently 23/22.

At least three of them constantly keep saying - "God we're so old now"

Aibu to think actually 23 is still young? I mean I know we're not 18 and clubbing every night but we also hardly have 5 kids each, a divorce and second marriage behind us.

I retort to them "well I feel sorry for you if you actually consider yourself old at this age"

Lord knows how they will feel when they hit 30.

(Disclaimer being 30 isn't old, but the way these girls state so often that they are old now I dread to think what they will be like in just 7 years time - probably assume they can ride for the bus for free or something.)

BeaWheesht Sun 03-Mar-13 19:11:51

They don't mean it though.

I'm 31 now and sometimes say I feel old because i do but I think I probably said the same at 24 though granted I was mortgaged up with a husband and pregnant!

It's just something to say IMO. All relative anyways eg: I thought I was sooooo grown up at 18, in actual fact I was a twat.

TheVermiciousKnid Sun 03-Mar-13 19:12:15

YANBU. I'm twice that age and I feel young most of the time.

soontobeburns Sun 03-Mar-13 19:14:01

Im one the fence. Im 23 and to me that feels so old but yet I also feel so young. Hmm.

BalletCrystal Sun 03-Mar-13 19:16:30

Im 23 and to me that feels so old

hmm really?

Lord knows how you feel at age 40.

SirBoobAlot Sun 03-Mar-13 19:18:39

21 here, and I feel fucking ancient. Though that might be the walking stick grin

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 03-Mar-13 19:19:25


AngryFeet Sun 03-Mar-13 19:19:52

People just say that in a silly jokey way almost every age though don't they? I am 34 and me and my friends don't act or look old yet but sometimes we will say "God aren't we getting OLD" but we know we aren't really. I wouldn't feel old until I was about 70 I think.

FanjoForTheMammaries Sun 03-Mar-13 19:20:14

41 in 8 days here..that is old! Although people of 51 would disagree!

It's all relative. But. 22/23 is your prime. Make the most of it

countrykitten Sun 03-Mar-13 19:21:14

23 is young although definitely old enough to be called a woman rather than a girl OP

countrykitten Sun 03-Mar-13 19:22:02

41 is not old either!

BalletCrystal Sun 03-Mar-13 19:22:06

Oh don't start the woman/girl debate. Go jog on into the feminist section for that crap.

countrykitten Sun 03-Mar-13 19:23:23

Right....confused you are a real charmer aren't you?

ChocolateCoins Sun 03-Mar-13 19:25:44

I'm 22, have a toddler and am pregnant. Compared to other 22 year olds I feel ancient.

ChairmanWow Sun 03-Mar-13 19:25:46

You're wishing your lives away! I'm 40 and feel 23. Maybe we should swap ages.

Seriously you'll probably be alive another 60 years. Do you want to spend that whole time jabbering on about feeling ancient? Do you bollocks. Now get out there, have some fun and do us middle-aged saddoes proud.

BalletCrystal Sun 03-Mar-13 19:25:51

Just don't have the patience for people being pedantic.

ThreeWheelsGood Sun 03-Mar-13 19:26:21

It's not old, but I remember finishing uni at 21 and feeling old because that phase in my life was over and I had started a "proper job". Are you and your friends in a similar position?

ChocolateCoins Sun 03-Mar-13 19:26:41

Bit rude op...

BalletCrystal Sun 03-Mar-13 19:26:55

Chocolate I know someone who is 21 (22 in July) her second son just turned 1 - I doubt she would ever describe yourself as old.

Ledkr Sun 03-Mar-13 19:29:03

Showing your immaturity there though eh?
How rude.

andubelievedthat Sun 03-Mar-13 19:31:45

23? old ? have your friends started wearing purple/spitting ....

WhatsTheBuzz Sun 03-Mar-13 19:32:29

jog on? You're not THAT young.

DP and I say this on occasion. I'm 23 he's 24. I feel much older now than I did two/three years ago tbh. I do feel 'old' in that I'm older, and I feel like I can have a relationship with adults of all ages now, rather than my peers in age.

I also feel old because I have aches and pains a 'young' person shouldn't have grin

BambieO Sun 03-Mar-13 19:33:46

Blimey that was rude! I had to do a double take. I think it was meant in jest OP, chillax as the youngsters would say grin

Disclaimer I still consider myself a youngster at 27 and will do until I am 70

SirBoobAlot Sun 03-Mar-13 19:36:07

No need to be rude OP... Countrykitten had a point!

countrykitten Sun 03-Mar-13 19:38:59

Perhaps the OP is a little...immature....grin

Ledkr Sun 03-Mar-13 19:39:56

These young people and their manners < wobbles>

Crap? It's a good point! The only person who gets away with calling me 'girl' is my elderly neighbour, who also calls my landlord in her 40's/50's girl!

Kind of proving that you aren't 'old' in a negative manner though, OP.

INeedThatForkOff Sun 03-Mar-13 19:43:24

'girl' made my teeth itch too. As did the rudeness.

FirstTimeForEverything Sun 03-Mar-13 19:43:49

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sun 03-Mar-13 19:44:28

She was extremely rude with the "jog on to the feminist section....comment", but my school friends and I still refer to ourselves as girls simply because we grew up together. We're 37. My mum goes out for lunch with the girls and she is 65.

No need for the rudeness though.

OP, no you are not old, but I remember marvelling at our advanced age at twenty.

FirstTimeForEverything Sun 03-Mar-13 19:45:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ubik Sun 03-Mar-13 19:45:27

Awww Ballet

you are all just children

<pats on head>

GreenShadow Sun 03-Mar-13 19:47:53

Ha, I'm (whisper) 51 but don't feel old!

Actually, that's not entirely true - I do feel old when I hear of local MN meet ups but don't go (even though I'd love to) cos I feel I would be the oldest of the group.

BalletCrystal Sun 03-Mar-13 19:51:18

Ok well I apologise countrykitten

I was writing without thinking and didn't really mean to write girls, but I guess when some of us have known each other since primary schools you will always think of them as girls grin

I've just witnessed other threads start having a the girls/women debate and it just detracts from the thread.

StuntGirl Sun 03-Mar-13 19:52:49

I have friends who do it too. Or say things like "Oh god everyone here is soooo young" when we go to clubs. Yes, the 18 year olds will seem young to you, you're 10 years older than them. But it doesn't make you old! It's a weird kind of mourning for teenage youthfulness, I find.

I am 25 and I feel old at times because we have two kids and no money.

I see my peers out at gigs or going on holidays and think that my life is quite shit. Cant remember the last time we went out.

But I know that I am young. Just not living a typical "young persons" life.

RatPants Sun 03-Mar-13 19:57:47

I'm 27 and starting to feel old. I think I'm just knackered out by toddlerhood though grin.

ubik Sun 03-Mar-13 19:57:51

thing is once you are approaching 40, you don't talk about getting old any more.

it's the elephant in the room

You talk about how you are thinking about going to Glastonbury this year without the kids (because you're not old)but you are a bit put off because you need a good 8 hrs sleep and will be back at work next day etc etc

Ballet your making us all look bad! You were rude for no justifiable reason and that shows your immaturity.

I'm 22, own a house, have a toddler a husband and am pregnant. I sometimes remark that I'm 'getting old' with my friends as we're moving in to the next stage of our lives - the ones that seemed really big and grown up when we were younger which is why it feel like we're older all of a sudden now.
Some are finishing uni (end of education perhaps feels like end of an era as most of our lives that we remember are school years)
Getting new and fancy jobs or even have been working for 5 or 6 years and are realising how quickly time passes.
Getting married/engaged/moving in - all big commitments that we associate with being 'grown up' or 'adult'
Perhaps your friends are realising how quickly time passes and have moved onto the next stage.
Of course they're not actually old. Just feel different somehow - I'm sure they don't actually think they're decrepit now. grin

Fakebook Sun 03-Mar-13 20:00:55

Anything past an age when you start gaining more responsibilities is "old". At 23/24 I was married, pregnant and with a house and bills to pay and a job to go to and work hard. I felt older mentally.

Now I'm going to be 30 in a few weeks I feel older physically.

gloucestergirl Sun 03-Mar-13 20:02:18

It goes a round in cycles. I remember going on about being old at in my very early twenties. But it was really just very old teenage melodrama. Then you do get older and start feeling younger. I am 38 now and can't believe I am about to be in my 40s soon. I remember thinking that 40 is ancient and I am kicking and screaming in my head that I not ancient!

Am I sounding patronising? Don't mean to but the truth is that you are still maturing in your early twenties. It takes time to gain perspective.

I also remember some girl I used to know who claimed to have commitment issues at 22. Used to get right on my nerves. So OP I share your irritation.

oooer i'm nearly 41

i remember how i felt when i was 23. like i fucking knew everything.

Trinpy Sun 03-Mar-13 20:12:37


I'm only 24 but really feel old when I meet up with my friends from school. Its the sudden realisation that we are not 16 anymore and haven't been for 8 years.

Everyone jokes about being old. I doubt they mean it.

Lovecat Sun 03-Mar-13 20:21:47

I'm 47 this year and I feel young... until I hang around with actual 20-somethings and they treat me like I'm their mum - then I feel ancient!

I'm 30 this year and I actually feel pretty damn good about it to be honest.

That said, I'm always in pain with my joints and have been grunting whilst getting up for years (I blame the Sciatica)

Makes me sound old though grin

NoelHeadbands Sun 03-Mar-13 20:28:45

When I'm with the friends I've known since I was 17, we remark that we feel so old. It's just because we remember when we were much younger, with different priorities, sniggering at the thirty-something's wearing naff shoes ( the Gold Shoe Brigade)

Now we're the thirty-something's, in reality, I don't feel very old at all really.

Nagoo Sun 03-Mar-13 20:35:05

IME at 23 you are in between. Not 18 anymore, everything is old hat, you've been to the same clubs 50 billion times, shagged everyone in your town you are interested in shagging but still feel too young to settle down and get mortgaged up and babyfied.

I think that peaked for me at 26. I had the 1st baby at 27. smile

Well I'm 52 and I'M NOT OLD ( I don't feel old all the time , just sometimes )
And feeling old at 23 ??
wanders off shaking head with an old gimmer emoticon

SomethingProfound Sun 03-Mar-13 20:58:01

I'm 27 nearly 28. I don't think I'm old, and 90% of the time I feel quite young, worlds my oyster and all that.

I do have the odd moment though when I think bloody hell how did that happen. Might be time to think about becoming a proper grown up. wink

DP and I haven't got kids but we certainly don't live the life of a 'young person'. We live in a houseshare with people 20+ years older than us and spend our free time playing board games, camping and going for walks. I'd much rather that than clubbing any day grin We refused to live with people our own age as we didn't want to put up with drinkers and people waltzing in after midnight instead we have a 36yo teenager living with us

Saying that though, we won't have children, get married or get onto the housing ladder even in rental until we're in our late 20's as DP doesn't finish uni until he's 27/28.

amillionyears Sun 03-Mar-13 21:10:26

A lot of 23 year olds feel old.
Wait till they are 24. They then say "one more year and I am half way to 50"

Ledkr Sun 03-Mar-13 21:14:13

Well I'm 45 and try not to think about it. I still totally live life to the full and am really happy so why waste time thinking about it just get on and enjoy life while you can.

Maryz Sun 03-Mar-13 21:15:31

I'm 50, and I'm not old. I'm almost middle aged, but not quite yet.

My mum says that old is 20 years older than you currently are. She is now 79, so no-one is old until they are 99 grin

amillionyears Sun 03-Mar-13 21:21:51

I am amillionyears dont forget, so I have lived through them all. Dont remember much being 776,577 years old though. Nothing much happened that year I dont think!

CheerfulYank Sun 03-Mar-13 21:31:24

I'm 30 and occasionally feel old. I have a friend who's 20 and always going to concerts and talking about snapchat and investing in weird hipster fashion...makes me feel ancient!

I sometimes feel old as time seems to be slipping through my fingers and I'm just being a mum to children, which does make you feel old.

Although I think my DH feeling old is rubbing off on me...

Latara Sun 03-Mar-13 21:58:12

At 36 I feel healthier than i have for a long time because i've been ill & am recovering, so that is making me feel younger now... bit fed up of my friends moaning that they are old though.

BornInACrossFireHurricane Sun 03-Mar-13 22:08:33

I'm nearly 28 and think that, in the scheme of things, I am still young

I am slightly scared at hitting 30 though, I must admit. I know this is ridiculous though!

FlouncingMintyy Sun 03-Mar-13 22:10:10

Its a really dumb thing for a 23 year old to say. On a par with someone who is a size 8 moaning about being fat.

Dumb and boring.

katecreate Sun 03-Mar-13 22:26:12

I'm 22 and say that I feel old. What I mean is that it was only a few years ago I was in school etc. and relative to that, I am doing stuff that makes me feel older. The people to whom I say it though understand what I'm going on about and I don't have to provide that caveat!

To me, when a young person says that they're old, it means that they feel oldER, not that they literally think that they are elderly.

squeakytoy Sun 03-Mar-13 22:29:32

I am in my 40's, still feel, act and look young, and have no problem at all with being classed as a girl.. I can think of far worse things to be called and get upset and worked up about than "girl". grin .. middle aged for a start!!!

amillionyears Sun 03-Mar-13 22:52:03

fwiw, I am going to a funeral this week of a 100 year old person.
Next week, a woman of about 96 years old.
So you can tell them that they may not be a 1/4 of the way through their lives yet.

lisaloeb Sun 03-Mar-13 22:59:41

I felt ancient at 23, but I had a DC, a home I was responsible for and I was planning a wedding.

But at 34, I look back and realise I was not ancient, in the same way as I'm sure my nearly teen DD thinks I'm ancient.

Waffling but hopefully get my drift.

Morloth Mon 04-Mar-13 04:18:39

I am constantly astonished at how old I am, I am 36 this year but am still about 17 in my head.

MrsLyman Mon 04-Mar-13 04:31:58

I felt old at that age because it was at that age that it dawned on me that I wasn't going to get any younger, if that makes sense. I had a proper job, was paying my own rent and it was the first time I felt like a 'grown-up'. So despite pushing 40 I do sort of understand the sentiment.

RichManPoorManBeggarmanThief Mon 04-Mar-13 04:40:40

I think Caitlin Moran has it about right- you're young until you're around 35, then you're neither young or old for about a decade, and then at 45 you start to "get old" and then you are old around 60.

I'm 37 and I definitely dont think of myself as young anymore, but hopefully I've got at least half my life in front of me so I'm not too upset.

bbface Mon 04-Mar-13 04:50:06

What I. Seth are you doing on mumsnet????

22/23, I would not have even known about such a website.

Now,mat 32 with a toddler and a baby due any moment, it feels much more relevant to my life. I would not have been at all interested in a website such as this at your age and in your situation. So perhaps you are older than your years?

(Although your rather fiery rude initial comments, would indicate you are indeed as young as you feel)

bbface Mon 04-Mar-13 04:51:28

Sorry, opening line should read... What one earth are you doing on mumsnet??

Lavenderhoney Mon 04-Mar-13 04:55:45

Perhaps at 23, they could replace "old" with " grown up" with adult responsibilities and having to stand on your own two feet. Without the excuse of being a teen, at uni etc- things associated with the young and carefree.

Feeling old is a state of mind. I only feel old when life gets me down and nothing seems to go right, careworn. Or thinking of missed opportunities when young.

My dm only felt old when her body started to go wrong - old age. Then she says " if I had my time again.."

MidnightMasquerader Mon 04-Mar-13 05:02:09

<meh> It's just something people say. Nothing more, nothing less.

I remember having a mini crisis when I turned 24. And then I got over it. Ironically, I'm 40 this year, and trying to convince myself I'm actually really young. grin

Gingerodgers Mon 04-Mar-13 05:52:22

Just like to say, really really annoying hearing folk prattle on about being old. Be old before your time if you want, but don't go on about it coz its boring.

Not directed at anyone on here, in fact is just a moan about my in laws!!!

Fairylea Mon 04-Mar-13 06:17:21

Gosh old in your twenties?!! What?!!

I'm 33 this year. I am still young. I refuse to be old. And anyway dh is 26 and isn't there a saying you're as young as the man you feel? smile

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