To feel sick with worry when i see a parent crossing a busy road with a "just" toddling toddler

(71 Posts)
Lucyellensmum95 Sat 02-Mar-13 09:38:30

I know IABU, i suspect I have done loads it but recently whenever I see a parent with a child out of puschair crossing a busy road my heart is in my mouth and i have to watch to make sure they they cross safely. I just worry that the child might slip from the parents grip and walk out...........sad

A woman in London the other day was doing this and actually crossed half of the road and then stood in the middle until there was a gap in traffic, ok there was heavy traffic and the cars were going slow but not slow enough to stop imo. I wanted to wind the window down and scream at her!

Now i know that would be a crazy woman thing to do and its sort of turning into a bit of a phobia thing for me (no background reason for this other than general anxiety which is quite high at the moment so maybe why i have been reacting)

I just can't help but think - oh my god, what if she lets go, what if the child trips? Seriously, my DP thought i had gone mad yesterday when i saw another woman doing it today - i was ranting away in the car about it.

So yes, over reaction i know but really? would it be so hard just to pick them up or have them on reins or those little rucksack things.

tumbletumble Sat 02-Mar-13 09:42:08

Sorry OP, but it sounds to me like you have anxiety problems.

Lucyellensmum95 Sat 02-Mar-13 09:45:30

No shit sherlock, i did actually say that smile. Hence the reaction. But then i got to think about it - its not THAT much effort to pick up child or have reins if you can't? is it? Anxiety or not, there is always that one in a million chance ... why take it?

EuroShaggleton Sat 02-Mar-13 09:45:57

I think it is your anxiety at work here (although clearly not everyone employs best practice when crossing roads whether with children or not).

PedlarsSpanner Sat 02-Mar-13 09:48:08

I do think YABU, folk do stuff differently, not wrongly.

Tell us more about your anxiety, how does it manifest itself?

Lucyellensmum95 Sat 02-Mar-13 09:52:08

I ABU for feeling so strongly about it, but its not that sensible surely? Maybe i'm just plain ol' barking!

Don't worry i wont be racing up to women screaming at them to pick their child up! blush

Hulababy Sat 02-Mar-13 09:52:17

If you look at everything that goes wrong you'd never go out or do anything.

What if the reins fail?
What if child falls even with reins?
What if mum slips whilst carrying child?
Etc

So long as holding hand and taking care then crossing abroad should be fine with a toddler.

greenandcabbagelooking Sat 02-Mar-13 09:52:57

I feel the same as OP, although perhaps not s strongly. I do feel a little nervous when I see a just-walking child crossing a road, or walking unrestrained close to the road.

aderynlas Sat 02-Mar-13 09:57:14

Dont want to give you something else to worry about op, but when I see little children trying to climb the side of a bridge to look at the water below it scares me silly. So no I dont think yabu, or maybe we both are.

BegoniaBampot Sat 02-Mar-13 09:58:49

Do get nervous when I see young kids walking near the road, maybe have walked ahead and are waiting for mum at the crossing etc. Soon as I see a young child near a road I always slow done and watch them like a hawk. I do get annoyed when other drivers just whizz by at high speeds without seeming to notice them.

livinginwonderland Sat 02-Mar-13 10:00:24

i think yabu. there's always a danger when you cross the road with a child - you can do everything right and a motorist/cyclist can come out of nowhere (sorry to give you more things to worry about!)

Svrider Sat 02-Mar-13 10:03:57

I read op to mean the child doesn't have their hand held, in which case yanbu
I saw 2 children yesterday about 2yo
They were running along alone near a very busy fast road
Mums were at least 100 yards away, round the corner
I have to say I'm surprised other posters think the op is in the wrong!

MrsPresley Sat 02-Mar-13 10:04:41

Well I for one, know exactly where you are coming from!

I say this a lot but GET REINS!

My DS died after being hit by a car when his dad didn't put his reins on. He was distracted by DD for a few seconds but that's all it takes sad

I would never want anyone to have the life I or my EX-H have had for the past 28 years, for the sake of a few pounds.

Yes accidents happen, but we can do things to minimise the risk, wont always work but at least we know we did all we could.

Lucyellensmum95 Sat 02-Mar-13 10:06:19

Oh MrsPresley - i am so sorry for your loss sad and sorry if this bought back horrible memories for you.

mrsjay Sat 02-Mar-13 10:06:58

grin At no shit sherlock yes ansiety like that is a bugger, I used to have my heart in my mouth if i saw toddlers at a pond edge we used to go and feed the ducks and it was a mecca for parents and toddlers and Id imagine them tripping falling in etc etc, OP just dont look at them turn away

mrsjay Sat 02-Mar-13 10:07:46

anxiety*

mrsjay Sat 02-Mar-13 10:08:37

OH Mrs Presley I am so sorry about your son sad

OxfordBags Sat 02-Mar-13 10:10:00

And how, exactly, are we mums of toddlers supposed to teach them how to cross the road correctly and safely? When I'm with my DS and he is unrestrained on the pavement or we're crossing the road, my every ounce of concentration is on him. I have trained him slowly but surely what is permissable and what's safe and what's not. If you wait too long to teach a child certain skills, they will actually be crapper at them or they don't do them so automatically, as you've missed the window for it becoming so natural that it's how they do it forever, IYSWIM.

This is all about your anxiety, but you know that. It's very patronising to imagine that other women can't be trusted with the people they care most about in the whole, wide world. I think you might be having some powerful and scary issues of things being out of your control, unsafe, unpredictable, etc., and it's easy to transfer these feelings into worrying about a specific slightly risky thing that others do. It's far easier to worry about what others might be doing wrong than look at the things that aren't right in one's own life.

But hugs for your anxiety, I do know what it's like.

TheFallenNinja Sat 02-Mar-13 10:11:24

It's all well and good that your anxiety focuses you on the potential danger of others, but, if your focus is there you aren't focused on yourself potentially being a dangerous distraction to you and those with you.

OxfordBags Sat 02-Mar-13 10:11:59

X-post... sad for Mrs Presley. We use reins for Ds, but are just trialling him not using them (but we do live in a quiet area). Might rethink this for a bit...

Still stand by the rest of what I wrote, though.

someoftheabove Sat 02-Mar-13 10:14:05

So sorry for your loss, Mrs Presley.
I also go into complete panic mode when I see little ones running along the pavement of a busy road with parents some way away. Although they probably know their own child and may have taught them to stop when they get to the road, as an observer you don't know that.
When we lived abroad, my then two-year-old ds strayed near to the edge of a tram platform and I yanked him back in fear, dislocating his elbow in the process. I felt so guilty but I had recently got to know an elderly couple whose six-year-old ds had been killed by a tram and I became paranoid after that. Trams can't stop suddenly; their ds didn't stand a chance.

Svrider Sat 02-Mar-13 10:15:11

Oxfordbags toddlerhood is NOT the age to be crossing the road unrestrained
You're taking a huge risk IMHO

Lucyellensmum95 Sat 02-Mar-13 10:18:38

ooh, do you think so fallen? Thats a good point, perhaps i shouldnt go out at all - i mean, i'm worrying about other people i can't possibly be thinking about myself so am bound to just walk in front of a lorry me!

TheSeniorWrangler Sat 02-Mar-13 10:20:53

how do we teach toddlers to cross a road safely?

By making it damn well clear they STOP about 2feet from the road and they WAIT and they LOOK BOTH WAYS and that they HOLD YOUR HAND while they WALK across.

what you dont do is allow them to charge upto the pavement edge where a simple overbalance could pitch them into the road, stand there while they play on the kerb, let them run across on their own or anything else equally stupid.

use reins or hold their hand or put them in the pushchair or carry them if they refuse to walk safely and sensibly.

I always had the pushchair and my kids were taught if they wanted to walk and not sit, then they had to follow my rules or they were strapped in tightly!

mrsjay Sat 02-Mar-13 10:23:16

I think the OP knows she is being anxious and unreasonable why is she getting a hard time from posters is beyond me, we all have anxieties about stuff and a busy road and young children is perfectly reasonable thing to be 'eeek' about imo

Even when ds3 nearly 2 is in the pushchair I have reins on him in case I have to get him out for any reason.

Years ago ds1s friend was ran over by a bus pulling away from the stop, he had reins on but his brother dropped his school books whilst getting off the bus and his mum bent down to pick them up.

Luckily he was fine, how he survived with just bruising we will never know! He's 18 now. So I guess yanbu, it does make me cringe when I see very small dc running out of reach of the parent near roads

IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 02-Mar-13 10:29:34

I get what you are saying OP.
I think training them to be road savvy is vital BUT doesn't it really depend on the road?
Ds and I have to cross a MAJOR road at rush hour, and drivers are just NOT looking out for pedestrians, let alone tiny ones.
Every other morning, I have to yell and wave my arms at a car that is still moving towards us as we cross, even though the light has turned red on them.
They are like zombies, totally focused on getting to work.
Usually a car will come to a halt across the crossing too, so we have to weave around it with my keys out literally squeezing round traffic that may or may not have noticed us.
Ds is nearly 7, but I still hold his hand tightly to do this.

I get ragey when I see parents walking along busy roads, chatting, with a toddler wandering along behind them.
FFS. YES, your 3 year old may be quite good at following you like a baby duckling, but you can't just trust they won't be distracted by that movie poster across the street or whatever.

I have seen a woman crossing a MAJOR intersection in South London, as her 2 year old toddled across the road BEHIND her.
I am sure she would claim to love her child above all else. Hell, she probably has his name tattooed on her arm, but imo, why bother making all that effort to push them out, if are going to take that sort of risk?
Risk always has to be calculated.

My toddler has been walking for over a year. He is slowly learning road awareness. He walks holding hands, holding on to the pram, or on reins/backpack. I step up the contact when crossing roads partly because we can't afford to be "stop at every pebble" slow, and also because obviously the risk is higher.

DH is extra anxious about roads, having seen a 4yo knocked down and killed by a car when DC1 was less than a week old. The child had been walking holding hands; the car was well within the speed limit and the driver was stone cold sober; he suddenly saw a friend, slipped his father's hand, and was gone.

I think within the restrictions of your anxiety YANBU to feel scared about it; but equally you have to trust that parents are paying an appropriate level of attention most if not all the time; and also remember that children need to learn, and you can't tell how far along that process they are.

Startail Sat 02-Mar-13 10:35:04

You are, perhaps being a bit nervous, but I can see both sides.

DD1 one was a little horror for bolting and lived in reins to preserve my sanity, because she vanished.

From not much over two, she understood to stop at drive ways and roads and I must have given nervous people a heart attack not worry about her at times.

DD2 didn't bolt and held hands, but was totally on another planet with roads and car parks, she was pretty much up to 10y not to be trusted.

I was forever reminding DH to remember that to keep an extra eye on DD2. It was incredibly easy to forget as she is my quiet, academic, sensible DC and DD1 dyslexic and scatty.

Lucyellensmum95 Sat 02-Mar-13 10:37:50

thankyou mrsjay - i think i explained my "over reaction" as being due to my anxiety issues.

I suppose if i didn't have anxiety i woould still think it was a daft thing to do, i just wouldn't feel upset about it.

Life is full of risk, i do risk assesments all the time - what they teach you is how to assess the risk, quantify it in some way and then take steps to reduce the risk - the best level of risk for me is 0.

0 = not gonna happen, so in this instance then - do not cross road with toddler
obviously not practical
The risk of child slipping out of parents grip - highly unlikely, but cannot give a score of 0. Risk of parent slipping iwth child, i would think - less likely. Having reins - decreases the risk. Its a no brainer really, even for a fruilt loop like me.

Saying that , i didnt have reins for DD2 as she hated them but she always held my hand. If i crossed the road, i picked her up. We live in a quiet area not that many busy roads.

On our trip to london the other day women were walking across mental busy roads at toddler pace, if cars zoomed around the corner.........again, unnaceptable risk pick the child up

LittleEdie Sat 02-Mar-13 10:40:15

So you're saying that if there is a 'one in a million' chance of something going wrong then people shouldn't do it. confused

YABU

mrsjay Sat 02-Mar-13 10:40:28

god I cant look at people on roller coasters because I am convinced they are going to fall apart every time and im worse if my DDs are on them I knwo it is daft i know rollercoasters dont usually fall to bits I cant help it,

BinksToEnlightenment Sat 02-Mar-13 10:43:02

No I know what you mean. I do take my toddler across roads if we walk somewhere, but I try to avoid it. He's very good and stops when he's told and holds my hand very tightly, but it still gives me the creeps thinking about what might happen.

Two toddlers were killed near me recently. They were both in pushchairs, but a car ran a red light and hit them.

Lucyellensmum95 Sat 02-Mar-13 10:44:51

I know IABU - i let my 7 year old DD ride horses shock I should shut up now!

I just think, take the steps to remove as much risk as you can.

My DD wears a hat and body protector, is lead around on old plod horses, there is risk, probably more risk than crossing the road, but we re reduce it and i watch with my heart in my mouth.

So no i am not saying people shouldnt do something if ther eis a million to one risk ( i daresay its higher than that for crossing the road but i don't know) i am saying that people should take whatever measures they can to minimise the risk.

Lucyellensmum95 Sat 02-Mar-13 10:46:01

I am looking or a change of career - im thinking HSE, i'd be perfect grin

GloriaPritchett Sat 02-Mar-13 10:48:36

YANBU at all. I can't believe people think that you are U!

lockets Sat 02-Mar-13 10:59:48

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ChairmanWow Sat 02-Mar-13 11:00:38

I don't think YABU because it's connected to anxiety, though personally I don't see a problem provided it's at a crossing and the child either has road sense or is on reins/holding hands. Unfortunately my DH, though lovely, can be quite daft so if he's out with DS I ask them to stay in the buggy next to and crossing busy roads. Might sound a bit OTT but he's very absent-minded and forgets to hold DS hand.

However I deffo don't think YABU about this: A woman in London the other day was doing this and actually crossed half of the road and then stood in the middle until there was a gap in traffic

I think that's shocking. Dangerous in the short term but also a terrible example to set her kids re road safety.

aderynlas Sat 02-Mar-13 11:09:15

I wait for the green man at lights if there is a mum or dad trying to teach their children how to cross. It suprises me how many mums and dads just rush across without waiting.

OxfordBags Sat 02-Mar-13 11:54:22

Svrider, did I not also add that he wears reins? Also, by unrestrained, I mean not in reins but still totally controlled by me, ie holding hands at all times, etc. I think I have got things confused as I didn't realise people were meaning toddlers wandering about without the adults paying them any attention whatsoever or not even being right by the adult, I agree that that's dangerous. I'm so busy watching Ds, even in reins, that I don't really see what other parents are doing. I do agree then, that toddlers shouldn't just be wandering around willy nilly near roads, sorry OP!

(Also, I generally sling him, so the reins/handholding issue is pretty small for us)

Funnily enough we were waiting for the green man yesterday and even though traffic lights were on green a car stopped for us to cross, very nice of him but it's a busy road 3 lanes outside a shopping centre with busses and cars coming from all directions so not really safe.

Hawkmoon269 Sat 02-Mar-13 12:39:19

I carry my toddler across roads because he's not very fast. No reins yet because he never let's go of my hand (and I'm holding his hand in a at that he couldn't untangle himself from me!). I get lots of positive comments when I'm walking with him on the pavement but I just don't trust drivers enough to let him walk across roads yet - obviously he would still be holding my hand, but still.

QueenOfCats Sat 02-Mar-13 12:48:17

I'm exactly the same - probably worse in fact, I hate seeing any child whatever their age crossing the road.

I can't drive near school going in and coming out times at all - my heart is in my mouth.

When I'm out with dd and we're crossing a road I still try and hold her hand (much to her disgust - she's almost 14!)

But, thus is because one afternoon I saw, quite close, a child of 5 run over and killed by a slow moving car. It will haunt me forever. The mothers screams, the drivers screams, the screams of her 9 year old brother who saw it too..... One of the worst moments of my life so far sad

QuickLookBusy Sat 02-Mar-13 12:56:52

YANBU

A toddler is not the correct age to teach road awareness. If you think it is, I'm sorry but it shows a lack of understanding of the way a toddler thinks and behaves.

Toddlers should be on reins or in a buggy/back pack near a busy road.

Meglet Sat 02-Mar-13 13:00:01

Yanbu. I have huge problems with 'free' toddlers near roads. Maybe mine are extra feral but all the road safety talks and bollockings haven't made much difference. DD is 4.6 and will still tear off towards the road angry, she often has reins when we walk to town.

I won't even park outside the school as I cannot bear watching the kids pootling about and the cars playing dodgems. We park way up the road and walk on a back path to avoid all the chaos.

I hold mine like limpets and don't care how much they holler, better to be screaming at me than in an accident.

VinegarDrinker Sat 02-Mar-13 13:09:22

I don't understand why holding hands counts as "unrestrained" - you have a lot more control over them and they are a lot closer to you than if you rely on reins.

My DS has never attempted to pull his hand from mine on a road. When he was just walking I carried him for speed, but I am sure I am one of the London mums is ranting about because at just 2 he walks across every road, holding hands (at the crossing, having told us when to stop, where to look, when the green man comes on etc).

VinegarDrinker Sat 02-Mar-13 13:10:25

Oh and he walks along pavements totally unrestrained on a daily basis. He has never tried to go anywhere near the road, and if he ever did I'd be there way before him.

Thumbwitch Sat 02-Mar-13 13:11:34

YANBthatU at all, IMO.
I have anxiety when I see small children running free on the pavements, often with a parent 50m or more away from them shouting "stop at the road!". Worse when they're on a scooter or bike shock.

My DS1 was always on reins as soon as he was walking (1yo) and I've only in the last few months reached a point where I'll let him walk along the path without holding my hand/the pushchair (he's now 5.3). I still make him walk "inside" me, so that he's further from the traffic; and he has to hold on to cross roads.
He has never been a bolter but never had the chance anyway because he was on reins.
He had a tendency to slip his hand out of mine while I was holding him, very eel-like he was about it too - so we practised holding hands etc. while he was still on the reins.

I don't give a flying fuck what anyone else thought/thinks about my using reins for my DS (and I'll be doing the same for DS2) - what matters to me is that he was kept as safe as I could reasonably manage under normal circumstances.

5madthings Sat 02-Mar-13 13:15:39

As long as they are holding hands or have reins on its fine.

OverlyYappy Sat 02-Mar-13 13:18:25

YANBU I too have anxiety 'issues' but even before they manifested I would often grab onto my friend Dc hands when we walked to school together (my DC had a little backpack with reins), I ended up buying one for my friend too.

I don't like them walking over bridges either, I don't like ME walking over bridges, which is tricky as I cannot get into town, without crossing a bridge.

I think that toddlerhood is exactly the age to start talking to dcs about road safety. They should never, ever be making any decisions but they are old enough to start to learn about waiting and looking and being cautious. I would get my dcs to look and tell me if it was safe. I always held their hand and they were all tractable enough that felt sufficient and obviously it was always me who said whether to move or not but they were also encouraged to look and report. It's no good hoping that dcs will get to 8 or 9 and be able to cross roads by themselves unless they've had years of grounding.

Obviously if you've seen an accident that coloiurs your thinking. Worse still if you've suffered a terrible loss like Mrs Presley sad but we have to find a balance between keeping dcs safe and building their skills and independance.

What does shock me though is how many parents allow their dcs to run unrestrained in car parks. No awareness of reversing cars, no caution at all. We've always had 'car park rules' - dc hold hands and then when we get to our car they stand STILL by the rear wheel at the side of their car door.

Iggly Sat 02-Mar-13 13:40:30

I didn't let my ds walk unrestrained (no reins) until at least 2. Now at 3.5 I let him walk without holding hands but never before.

He was too young to reason with - now he's older he understands.

Dd is 15 months and walks but again no way on earth is she going to be walking on the pavement until she's much older.

JuliaScurr Sat 02-Mar-13 13:45:08

my dd never ran off - apprently this is common in childenn of disabled parents maybe because they can tell you can't run to rescue them

BinksToEnlightenment Sat 02-Mar-13 13:59:39

Queenofcats, that's awful. So sad.

Goldenbear Sat 02-Mar-13 14:19:00

Recently I saw a duckling toddler, looked about 2.5 but could have been older, walking behind his mum from the park, she trusted him to cross the road with the green man signal without holding her hand. They got to the pedestrian crossing in the middle of the road and the next one had reverted to the red man because they weren't quick enough to cross that bit of the road. The little boy ran ahead believing he was crossing correctly, unfortunately a van didn't notice him and touched him with the bumper and knocked him over but he had fallen rather than bounced off the bumper and luckily he was fine. The mum had a baby in a pram, was obviously shaken but also proceeded to tell him off for not crossing at the green man.

manticlimactic Sat 02-Mar-13 17:11:55

I hate seeing people with children stood in the middle of the road. Especially if there is a crossing not 10 yards away. It makes me anxious and I'm not one for anxiety.

What I have noticed lately is people, including older children without anyone with them, just crossing side streets without even looking.

IfNotNowThenWhen Sat 02-Mar-13 17:52:47

Really awful queenofcats. I can't imagine what that must have been like.

Ds is of an age now that I drill into him at every road cross "look left and right. Is anything coming?" etc, even though I still hold his hand. I know that he is a head in the clouds person though, and WILL blindly follow other children accross roads if I am not vigilant.
The traffic just rolling on accross the green man particularly terrifies me, since you tell your kids "wait for the green man" but even then you have to say "and still check the cars are actually stopping".
I have on occasion had to actually bang on car bonnets when crossing and scream "STOP!" when we have been crossing at the green man and they have just kept driving.
So, drivers, PLEASE pay attention at the lights!

Meglet Sat 02-Mar-13 18:00:02

julia that's interesting. On Child of our time this week Alison Lapper said her son never ran off, again it would make sense that children have sussed their parents can't dash after them. A sort of in-built survival mechanism.

Whereas mine know mummy goes running so maybe they think they're giving me that extra bit of exercise tearing off to the road hmm. They were perfect children when I was in bed with flu the other week, they knew I couldn't do things for them.

penelopepissstop Sat 02-Mar-13 19:20:17

I hear you fellow anxiety sufferer.
I hate seeing kids hanging over the edge of balconies at theatres, kids scooting too close to the road, running toddlers heading for a side road or blind drop kerb. Some of us are just hyper-alert in times of personal stress.
I did once stop a kid from using a crossing because she hadn't seen the approaching high speed ambulance though. The father didn't give two hoots, nor did he thank me for holding her back (only by putting out my arm). He just told her to stop and expected her to comply. Cared more she'd disobeyed him than the fact she had started running onto the road...Me, my nerves were jangling the minute I heard the ambulance and saw how many children were about to leap out because the green man was about to start beeping.

Startail Sat 02-Mar-13 20:09:59

DD1 got way better about escaping when her sister came along. I think she realised I couldn't chase her with the pushchair.

Thumbwitch Sat 02-Mar-13 22:21:28

ifNotNow - I'd been doing that with DS1 since he was walking, but DH didn't so I had to drum it into him as well to make sure he took extra care with DS1 around. He would just walk across carparks without checking anything as well - he just doesn't have the built-in extra awareness-of-small-child-needing-guidance thing - but once I'd told him, he did start doing it.

I did nearly get both myself and DS1 killed while he was in a pushchair though - we were crossing on a zebra crossing, halfway across and this woman in a big 4WD just kept going (far side of the road from us, plenty of time to have seen us crossing the road but she wasn't looking ahead) - she was close enough for me to be able to step forward (around the pushchair) and bang on her car, if I'd wanted to. shock Since then I have always waited until it's obvious that the cars halfway down the road are going to stop, and have taught DS1 to do the same - just as well as only the other day we would have been taken out by a trail bike walking to school.

SinisterBuggyMonth Sun 03-Mar-13 01:22:32

YANBU at all Op. I'm shocked that people on here are saying you are.

I shudder when I see toddlers on the pavements of busy streets who arennt holding an adults hand. It only takes one second them to get distracted and dart off. Anxiety has nothing to do with it. Its common sense. There are many situations where lessons can be learnt from making mistakes, but not road safety.

JuliaScurr Sun 03-Mar-13 14:37:29

interesting that Alison Lapper said that, meglet
Though I do sometimes think it's not fair they have to be 'good' because we can't run - on the other hand, dd got more freedom in another sense because shewas allowed to run ahead , hide and 'surprise' me by jumping out smile
Aaah - happy days

jellybeans Sun 03-Mar-13 16:00:13

YANBU OP. I am simelar. I used backpack reins till DS3 was 3.8 because he was a bolter. He is 4 now and still has to hold hands on all roads unless at the park etc. I sometimes felt stupid with the reins on as DS was so tall and i felt judged but I remembered Mrs Presley's terrible loss of her son sad and carried on knowing it was better to be safe. Could have even saved DS3's life as he really would have bolted into the road so thank you Mrs Presley for speaking about it to safeguard others. DH once got distracted at nursery pick up and let DS3 bolt out into the road/car park. He was lucky no cars were coming/reversing. But it always annoyed me that he never took holding their hands as seriously as me. i think some of us are more anxious than others.

jellybeans Sun 03-Mar-13 16:01:08

I also get very nervous when little kids are in front on scooters near busy roads! Only takes to go the wrong way into the road!

LahleeMooloo Sun 03-Mar-13 16:57:57

You sound unhinged.

Lucyellensmum95 Sun 03-Mar-13 17:55:05

Wow - thats a very thought out and intelligent post there LahleeMooloo, especially with a name like that, you call ME unhinghed?? grin

Chottie Sun 03-Mar-13 18:05:18

I'm with the original poster. Children are so little and move so quickly. When a car breaks, it can't stop immediately.

OP - I often have my heart in my mouth too. I always used reins when my children were little.

jojane Sun 03-Mar-13 18:08:06

I cross the road with 2.5 yr old ds2. He likes to walk everywhere now, but I hold his hand in a way that means he can't pull his hand away, hard to explain but my first two fingers and thumb are holding his hand like a normal hand hold but my little finger and ring finger are wrapped around his wrist iyswim?

My pet hate is when you are waiting at a crossing and people cross when it's in red, kids aren't going to know they shouldn't follow.

IfNotNowThenWhen Sun 03-Mar-13 18:17:52

Some drivers are total idiots Thumbwitch.
I actually had a card drive into me once, while standing outside a shop(on the pavement) with ds. Luckily she drove into me, not ds.
She stopped just in time, when she felt the car hit me,and when I yelled, but then drove off.
Nice.
I did wonder if someone had taken out a hit on me!

Thumbwitch Sun 03-Mar-13 18:24:05

shock IfNotNow! Thank goodness she stopped - I wonder if she was drunk?! And how bloody rude to just drive off without checking you were ok, or apologising. angry

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