To be concerned about what DD said ?

(38 Posts)
Inseywinseyupthespout Fri 01-Mar-13 21:41:42

Dd1 is 3; she attends nursery . The only other people she is around are the nursery children , her grandparents and one set of godparents .

Today I was baby sitting my baby nephew and was changing his nappy .

DD1 said "mummy where's his willy ?"
Me: "where is always is .."
DD1: " but I can't see it , where is it ? "
Me: "there it is "
DD1: "but I can't see it because its not inside out "
Me: confused

Now I don't know whether I'm over thinking things (I'm very hormonal irrational at the moment , but would anyone find this odd ?

I can only assume she has seen this at nursery . I questioned her in a relaxed way and she added that the boys at nursery pull their pants down and hold their willies when they wee .

Should I be concerned ? Or AIB stupidly U?

IllGetOverIt Fri 01-Mar-13 21:46:56

I wouldn't worry about it if she explained it as 'when they wee'.

Maybe just keep an eye on it and go with your instinct? She explained it fully IMO.

idiot55 Fri 01-Mar-13 21:48:03

seems odd hat she has seen the boys at nursey wee, I would be questioning why that happens.

If she hadnt said that I wouldnt be too concerned

WipsGlitter Fri 01-Mar-13 21:48:29

What are you worrying about?

YouTheCat Fri 01-Mar-13 21:49:19

Boys at nursery often forget to close the doors on the cubicles. I wouldn't worry about it.

PoppyWearer Fri 01-Mar-13 21:49:27

It's not odd, children to the toilet at nursery in mixed groups.

Inseywinseyupthespout Fri 01-Mar-13 21:49:37

I should point out that the nursery is a childcare setting so the boys and girls don't have separate toilets - there are just 3 little cubicles off the side of the play room .

frazzledbutcalm Fri 01-Mar-13 21:51:24

I wouldn't be worried at all .... and I don't find anything odd about any of this ...
I don't understand what she means by 'its not inside out' ... but she's 3 and they don't always say what they mean exactly.

You say she's only around nursery children, grandparents and one set of godparents ... but she's also around your baby nephew ... I'm reading between the lines and assume you think she could only have seen a willy at nursery?.. but she's seen her cousins..

I'm not really sure I understand your concerns ... but I think everything sounds ok.

thingamajig Fri 01-Mar-13 21:52:43

Can you explain more about why you are concerned? Is it the 'inside out' bit? Could she have seen a circumcised willy?

Inseywinseyupthespout Fri 01-Mar-13 21:53:08

I guess it was just the "inside out" part - it seems to me like she has seen a retracted foreskin.

Do boys retract their foreskin when they wee ?? confused

No but some of the boys may be circumcised.

AmberLeaf Fri 01-Mar-13 21:55:27

Boys of 3 don't generally retract their foreskin, but yes maybe she has seen a circumcised one?

alarkaspree Fri 01-Mar-13 21:56:01

Boys don't retract their foreskin when they wee, but some are circumcised as thingamajig says. I wouldn't be worried.

Inseywinseyupthespout Fri 01-Mar-13 21:56:36

Good point about the circumcision. I wonder if that could be it .

YouTheCat Fri 01-Mar-13 21:58:33

If there are any Muslim or Jewish lads then she could have seen a circumcised one.

HollyBerryBush Fri 01-Mar-13 22:00:50

If there are any Muslim or Jewish lads then she could have seen a circumcised one

Do boys retract their foreskin when they wee??


YouTheCat Fri 01-Mar-13 22:03:03

Why speechless? It's a possibility.

Inseywinseyupthespout Fri 01-Mar-13 22:03:53

HOLLY grin

I don't have boys .
My DH is circumcised and we are high school sweet hearts so it was a genuine question ! grin

frazzledbutcalm Fri 01-Mar-13 22:04:57

Tbh I'm not sure a 3 year old would actually be able to notice the difference between a circumcised or non circumsised willy! ... confused

I'd say she just hasn't been able to explain her words properly. Does she actually know what a willy looks like? Or does she just know the name? She may be expecting to see something that resembles herself?

pigletmania Fri 01-Mar-13 22:05:44

No totally normal. At dd per school the toilets were unisex and I am sure that kids forget to close the door when they go especially when they are little

BlackholesAndRevelations Fri 01-Mar-13 22:05:45

Circumcision was my thought when you said "inside out". Don't think you have anything to worry about.

Inseywinseyupthespout Fri 01-Mar-13 22:07:47

The only willy she has seen is her cousins .

She knows that she has different bits to him .

frazzledbutcalm Fri 01-Mar-13 22:09:05

In that case I think she's just mixed up words. This will be the first of many times you'll be confused/worried about things she says wink

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 01-Mar-13 22:10:24

She does know girls don't ave penis's dosnt she because if she didnt know a vagina is called something different to a penis then that would explain it quite well.

WorraLiberty Fri 01-Mar-13 22:13:21

It sounds as though she has a healthy curiosity and is taking mental notes in the toilet!

I can just imagine the boys wishing she'd go away and stop staring grin

no need to be rude holly

I had to think when op asked..and I have two kids and everything grin

Op mixed up word I think. Also presumably a baby penis and nursery age penis are different sized and that might be what is confusing her

Alibabaandthe40nappies Fri 01-Mar-13 22:18:30

I think it all sounds pretty normal!

Not beyond the bounds of possibility that a little boy at nursery has said 'look at what my willy can do, it goes inside out!'.

sock my first thought was that maybe she was thinking a vagina was penis inside out! but I dont thinkg that woudl quite make sense in the situation

apostropheuse Fri 01-Mar-13 22:22:49

This might be daft, but is it possible she thinks a willy and vagina are the same thing, hence her saying "inside out"? So, she thinks the willy should be kind of inside out, like a vagina.

Not explaining myself very well, sorry.

HildaOgden Fri 01-Mar-13 22:26:21

'Not inside out' definitely suggests a circumsised penis to me.She probably doesn't even see the boys in nursery ( a lot of them at that age still sit to pee) so I'd say it's most like a reference to your dh.She has probably spotted him in the bathroom,and noticed the difference between male and female!

I'm pretty sure you're overthinking this.

maddening Fri 01-Mar-13 22:52:55

When I was 3 my mum found me by the toilet holding my little finger out over the bowl and when asked what I was doing I replied " I am doing a wee like Christopher does"

I think it's normal for children at this age to become aware of these things and this is het just making sense of what she has seen.

missingmumxox Sat 02-Mar-13 03:22:15

I didn't get the inside out thing, but the circ explaination made sense, when I lived in the US my boys used to always ask why their willies where all wrong, as in uncircumcised.
I got from their paeds as well. all the health problems uncirced boys would have in later life..yadda yadda, I used to drolly point out my Brother, Dad and Grandad had all fought war in the desert and not a willy had dropped me the desert warfare was a number one arguement by docs, and mums I mixed with.
I had a friend who's father in the US is v anti circ and infamious for it and a Jew to boot, My friend sent me an amazing email supporting my NO to circ for my twins, I became to hot to handle after that, in the US it is really another money maker,
I think your daughter sounds lovely and normal, she wants to know why, my boys still don't get why I don't have a willy dispite my best efforts smile

MammaTJ Sat 02-Mar-13 04:51:46

Your DH is circumcised. That explains it then, imo.

TotallyBursar Sat 02-Mar-13 05:26:10

I wasn't worried reading your OP but now you've said your DH is circumcised I'm negative numbers of worry. Even though you say the only willy she has seen is her cousins? I would be surprised if she had never seen her dad's.

My DH has wistfully wished this was the case as he answered a torrrent of willy questions 'Will my willy get big like yours daddy? Did <dsis's> willy fall off? My willy got stuck in my trunks, mummy had to help me, does mummy help you when your willy gets stuck? (actual question, I laughed) in the middle of the supermarket. We quite often got considered opinion on other willies he had seen, delivered in the style of a carefully researched thesis (which, in a way, I suppose it was) or we got the very excited revelations about what exciting thing Jacob from nursery could do with his. Once we got a David Attenborough style lecture about animal penises.

It only gets more interesting and loud from here on out op.

DeepRedBetty Sat 02-Mar-13 05:36:25

grin TotallyBursar!

TroublesomeEx Sat 02-Mar-13 05:47:13

Mm mystery solved then if your husband's been done.

My daughter is 6 and is ridiculously fascinated by willies.

It's just a willy. Funny word, funny thing. And girls don't have them.

Inseywinseyupthespout Sat 02-Mar-13 06:57:48

Thanks pleased to hear its normal !

Had all sorts going through my very irrational head ! blush

Jenny70 Sat 02-Mar-13 08:16:59

And assuming she has seen your DH naked (possibly glimpsing a stray nursery willie as well) and made the connection to the cousin's gender. I would assume that she's saying the baby's willie is small and not as dangly!! Most baby willies are rather teeny and if they have a fattie tummy can be almost a bump (searching for the right word here!).

Wouldn't worry at all, purely an observation, rather than any sexualisation of the bits - which would be a worry.

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