to think that 40 years of age

(83 Posts)
SoleSource Fri 01-Mar-13 16:46:48

is not OLD as in past it, dicrepit.

Hehe - when you get there - no it's not.
But when you are younger you often wonder if you will ever reach 40!

impty Fri 01-Mar-13 16:50:43

oh no def not.... as im not far off it!grin

Euphemia Fri 01-Mar-13 16:50:48

Depends what you want to do.

germyrabbit Fri 01-Mar-13 16:50:50

depends on what context, it's old if you want to be a olympic gymnast for example grin

shrimponastick Fri 01-Mar-13 16:51:30

definitely not.

When I was a young whippersnapper of course 40 seemed ancient.

Now I am past 40 it is no age at all.

40 is the new 25...

firawla Fri 01-Mar-13 16:51:42

no I don't think it is at all

5Foot5 Fri 01-Mar-13 16:52:28

Saw that in my rear view mirror a LONG time ago

squeakytoy Fri 01-Mar-13 16:53:19

Definitely not.. I am 43, about to get ready, go out and will probably be home around 3am.. Tomorrow I am going go-karting, and Sunday going bowling.. I am certainly not past it.

SoleSource Fri 01-Mar-13 16:53:29

That's it I am off to the public tip.

So long

Foggles Fri 01-Mar-13 16:55:00

No - and neither is 50 grin

When DS1 went off to Uni, he talked about "old people's accommodation" on campus.

I had visions of pensioners going back to study until I worked out he meant people in their mid 20s/30s !

ivykaty44 Fri 01-Mar-13 16:56:39

40 is old, it is five years past middle age and three years past a woman in her prime.

it really doesn't seem all that long ago I was 40 - but it was and I must not kid myself - I just lie instead grin

Lueji Fri 01-Mar-13 16:58:08

It better not be... wink

No, not decrepit at all.

My line for old is at 80.

And my grandmother has set some high standards for "decrepit", at 102 of age.

SoleSource Fri 01-Mar-13 17:02:26


shrimponastick Fri 01-Mar-13 17:03:53

I see 'old' as 80/90??

I ddon't consider myself middle aged yet - and I am most likely overhalf way through my life....


Floggingmolly Fri 01-Mar-13 17:06:41

Since when was 35 middle aged?

SoleSource Fri 01-Mar-13 17:10:19

Without actually looking up the official definition of the term 'middle aged', I would have thought it was at 35.

35 is half of UK life expectancy of 70?
Often wondered.

ivykaty44 Fri 01-Mar-13 17:11:31

middle age must start at 35 - then it lasts till about 45 as the middle part of life confused then you die at 80

HecateWhoopass Fri 01-Mar-13 17:11:41

I am 39 and 40 is looking a lot younger than it did 20 years ago grin

I had a wobble the other day as it hit me that I am about halfway through my life! shock

It feels like someone fast forwarded. I still feel like I'm 15!

ivykaty44 Fri 01-Mar-13 17:12:44

anything over 45 is just old person/cogger/folk/peeps

SoleSource Fri 01-Mar-13 17:15:36

Ivy shock

Grab your pitchforks, get on the AIBU minibus, we're off to Ivy's house.

anonymosity Fri 01-Mar-13 17:17:21

I do remember thinking 32 sounded ANCIENT but now I'm well past that, not at all...

Foggles Fri 01-Mar-13 17:19:08

Whatever age I am, I always think that MY generation is the BEST generation - so it doesn't really matter.

ivykaty44 Fri 01-Mar-13 17:19:10

SS your more than welcome to come round - grab yourself a glass and get your bums over here to drink some wine and remember when it didn't take two days to get over a flipping hangover wink

zoyt Fri 01-Mar-13 17:21:02

I always think of middle age as late 40's / early 50's...35 is really too young to be middle aged surely?

Megsdaughter Fri 01-Mar-13 17:26:42

Wait till your next big birthday is 60! 5 years to go, but 60 sounds old AND IM NOT OLD!

BackforGood Fri 01-Mar-13 17:29:33

You planning to pop your clogs at 70, IvyKate ? hmm

ivykaty44 Fri 01-Mar-13 17:30:12

backforgood - no 80 as I explained up thread

HecateWhoopass Fri 01-Mar-13 17:35:10

Might take a while, Sole. I don't think any of us are very quick on these zimmers...

SoleSource Fri 01-Mar-13 17:55:04

Hecate grin

I'm 25, and don't feel that 40 is old at all.
Although, I spend a lot of time with my grandad, who was 80 last week and is still as active as a 50 year old so maybe that colours my judgement on age somewhat. He's an absolute inspiration to me- people always think he's my dad as he looks so well for his age!

BackforGood Fri 01-Mar-13 18:03:06

Sorry Ivy - I tend to open 3 or 4 tabs, then answer what's there when I open them, not what gets posted in between blush

Write lines.....

Must remember to 'refresh'...

IfNotNowThenWhen Fri 01-Mar-13 18:09:13

Young is 0-30
Middle aged is 30-60
And old is 60-90 +

So it's evenly parceled out innit? It don't mean nuffink though, on the whole.

I don't think 40 is OLD, but for some things it is, like getting up the duff over the course of a weekend, or becoming a sprinter, but it does bug me that there is a general consensus that you have to have achieved your goals/ambitions by 40 otherwise you are on the scrapheap.

A lot of people do give up their ambitions because of this, and it's a shame.
I hate to see people settle into comfy middle age, and lose their fire.

The worst thing in the world as you get older is the way youth is celebrated so much (30 under 30 features in magazines for example) and yet older people have so much more wisdom, humour and subtlety about them, which can really be put to good use.

ifancyashandy Fri 01-Mar-13 18:20:13

Last week, I was out on Thursday night / Friday morning till 4am. Saturday night, I got home at 9am Sunday morning and then did a loooong boozy lunch on Monday. Now, granted, it took me all week to recover grin but I've still the stamina of an ox! Back on the gin right now, hic!

Also, I look waaaay better at 43 than I ever did at 23 or 33. More idea of what suits me and more money to spend on said suitable items and decent haircuts, exercise classes, facials and botox*

And I couldn't give less of a fuck about other's opinions so am more content, chilled, less insecure, anxious or needy.

40+ has most definitely rocked in my world.

*not really yet

Bue Fri 01-Mar-13 18:37:57

How is 30 middle aged?! That would make life expectancy 60, which it isn't. I'd say 40 is not even middle aged - interestingly, the ONS says that 89 is the most common age at death for women (the mode?).

babanouche Fri 01-Mar-13 18:42:08

Age is a number. By even talking about it you give it power. I'm forty soon and I can't wait. Life begins!

YouTheCat Fri 01-Mar-13 18:50:41

I am 43 and in my prime just like Miss Jean Brodie. grin

I agree, sole, 40 is not old. Older and wiser, maybe, but not old.
I used to think anybody that age was ready for croaking it, (when I was about 8). but here I am still breathing, at the tender age of 47...grin

......and remember that we live longer these days, too smile

googlyeyes Fri 01-Mar-13 19:38:40

Yes, there's no way that life expectancy is 70! Not in most of the UK at any rate.

Isn't it 87 or so for women?

thebody Fri 01-Mar-13 19:42:10

Every age is a blessing as you are still alive so enjoy.

If you reach 40 in good health then you are bloody lucky.

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Fri 01-Mar-13 19:44:16

I still feel about 21, only a lot more confident and a lot less caring about what anyone else thinks grin

MidnightMasquerader Fri 01-Mar-13 19:46:22

I don't think 40 is old, but then I'm 39. grin

40 is ancient to 20 year olds.

mrsjay Fri 01-Mar-13 19:48:41

I thought so when I was getting rid of my grey hair today <sigh>

but no i dont think I am that old that im ready for the knackers yard

mrsjay Fri 01-Mar-13 19:49:24

40 is ancient to 20 year olds.

I have a 20 year old <nod>

SamuelWestsMistress Fri 01-Mar-13 19:51:15

Well a fortune teller told me I'm going to live to be 84 so I won't be middle aged until 42. 8 years left!

mrsjay Fri 01-Mar-13 19:51:45

a lady I volunteer with is in her late 60s maybe early 70s and she was talking about when she goes on holiday and she goes out at 11 pm I thought but I am looking to go to bed at that time blush

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Fri 01-Mar-13 19:51:47

I still remember a friend of my DC's saying when he was about 10...

"Chaotic, you know while you're old"...I was 28 at the time confused

mrsjay Fri 01-Mar-13 19:52:45

35 isnt middle ages is it confused no it cant be women are having their first babies at 35

Lizzylou Fri 01-Mar-13 19:53:50

I am completely with Ifancyashandy.
I am a few weeks off 40 and last week went out with some younger friends and had a ball. I was also chatted up lots.
I think it is confidence and a lack of embarrassment. It is the same in the gym. I now genuinely do not care if I look like a red sweaty guppy next to the slender teens on the next treadmill. I just don't.

That is so empowering!

I feel better in my own skin now than I ever have.

gimmecakeandcandy Fri 01-Mar-13 19:54:15

Forty does feel old... Once we hit 35 it starts to feel olddddd!

mrsjay Fri 01-Mar-13 20:05:16

I feel older but I can see my dds leaving home and me going in to the next phase of my life in a few years ,so I have years left

Portofino Fri 01-Mar-13 20:18:44

I am 44 and don't feel old. My GM was 40 when I was born and when I look at photos she looks much older than I feel. My dh is 55 and yet we happily pop off to see the Kaiser Chiefs etc and go to the pub after. MY GPs would never have dreamt of such a thing.

Portofino Fri 01-Mar-13 20:19:54

If we were in the UK we would be doing Glastonbury and all.

Lizzylou Fri 01-Mar-13 20:22:21

Go Porto!
Age is such a state of mind.

I also wear denim skirts wink

I don't feel any older than when I was 20, just have more things to juggle.

ivykaty44 Fri 01-Mar-13 20:24:57

There is a difference between old
which is a number and past. It which is a state of. Mind

i am feeling good and happy

who cares if i am thought of. As old

I have a newborn and will be 39 next month..

Hardly old! I'm in better nick now than I was at 20!

You're only old if you're think you're old ( I know 25 yr olds who are more wrinkly/fat/grey/old than I am!!!)

State of mind people.

IfNotNowThenWhen Fri 01-Mar-13 20:28:42

Nope, 30-60 IS middle aged. Yes, you can have babies in middle age, but if you split life fairly evenly into 3 stages, then 30-60 = middle age.
It doesn't matter though.
It's just that we have this idea of "middle age" as being The End Of Things, which is silly.
I had a conversation in the supermarket with a 89 year old woman, who said to me "women dread being 40. They shouldn't. It's the best time in your life".
What I am saying is that life needn't be about labels.
There is nothing WRONG with being middle aged.
In fact, when I decided that 30-60 IS middle aged (because it is) it meant that turing 35 was no biggy: I had been middle aged for ages. grin

mrsjay Fri 01-Mar-13 20:29:20

I have a newborn and will be 39 next month..

see ^^ not old

SoMuchToBits Fri 01-Mar-13 20:31:56

Well, I'm 51, so I think 40 is quite youthful wink........

Foggles Fri 01-Mar-13 20:32:53

Every age is a blessing as you are still alive so enjoy.

^^ this

My FIL was recently described by his doctor as "a lovely middle-aged man". FIL is about 80!

So that makes me a mere whipper-snapper then. grin

I think it's a shame if women only really see themselves as young in their twenties, and old by 40, no way !

Men don't do that to themselves, they are still happily buying sports cars (and getting well paid in their careers) in their 50s, 60s, and 70s.

Also I think there's a lot to be said for your attitude of mind. If you stay flexible in your attitudes even when your body can't touch it's toes anymore I think you won't seem nearly as old as you feel grin

I genuinely only really think of middle-aged as being over 50ish, but maybe it always has to be just a little older than you are yourself !

mrsjay Fri 01-Mar-13 20:42:43

although I have started thinking of the young woman who works with me and is superior to me as a 'girl' I dont mean too blush

MerryCouthyMows Fri 01-Mar-13 20:57:02

Ifnotnow - I am most certainly NOT middle aged just because I'm 31! shock.

I fully intend to live to at least 100, like all the women in my family ignores body already broken by arthritis and epilepsy.

In which case I shan't be middle aged until I'm at least 50! wink

No, absolutely no way middle-aged is 30 - 60.

That's just not the way the term is used, even if logically it should be.

Middle-aged has always been a nice way of saying "getting on a wee bit" hence my definition that it has to be saved at least for the over 50's.

Also I think it refers to the middle years of your adult life, not your life as a whole. So under 18/20 is your childhood and teenage years. 20 - 50 adult life, 50 - 70 middle age, 70+ older life.

I guess you could divide 20 - 50 up a bit if you wanted, 20's could be young adult life, 30 - 50 just adult life (no further label needed)

This has obviously suddenly become incredibly important to me with 50 looming in a couple of years grin

Middle age starts at 15 years older than whatever age you currently are.
Old age starts at 15 years older than that.

So for example, if you're 40, then middle age starts at 55 and old age starts at 70. This formula works for most ages; try it!

"Middle age starts at 15 years older than whatever age you currently are.
Old age starts at 15 years older than that."

The definitive answer!

SoleSource Sat 02-Mar-13 08:54:13

I am 39 in four weeks.
39 + 15 = 54


HecateWhoopass Sat 02-Mar-13 08:57:42

life expectancy of a british woman is 81, it seems

so halfway through that is about 6 months after your 40th birthday.

Making 40 middle aged.

Slap bang in the middle of the average lifespan.

Sorry folks, but we have to accept it grin We're middle aged women.

SoleSource Sat 02-Mar-13 08:58:35


<puts fingers in ears>

HecateWhoopass Sat 02-Mar-13 08:59:52

Accept it.

embrace it

buy this

x2boys Sat 02-Mar-13 09:05:47

I,ll be 40 in november soi I defiatley dont think its to old however it does nt seem two minutes since i was 30 and in that time i have met and married my husband and become a mother twice over. what a difference a decade makes also i,m in a much better place at nearly 40 than at nearly 30 back than i was terminally single sick of going out trying to find a half decent man i,m quite looking forward to being 40

Old is something that happens to other people.... never oneself grin

I'm 40, but good g*d I'm NOT old. Helps that I only look 25! That is true btw, I have always looked a lot younger than I am. When I was 21 a 13 year school boy asked me out. He refused to believe I wasn't the same age, to the point where he even asked my mum who was his teacher at school how old I was! I didn't like looking young then, but I do now.

EATmum Sat 02-Mar-13 09:09:38

With 40 looming, and all the perception changes that entails, I'm re convinced that it depends more on how happy you are with the way you've spent the time you have than the hours you've clocked. I'm happy and definitely happier at this age than almost any previous point. But that is probably a personal v insecure teenage/tween age for you ...

mizu Sat 02-Mar-13 09:28:03

I have been 40 for two weeks. Same as most on here, generally feel loads better than I did at 30, more sorted and settled, more confident. Happier and think I look better too.

There is still that little niggle though that I am getting older. You never think that it is going to happen to you do you?!

Getting older is better than the alternative grin

I celebrate every year! If other people think 39/40 is old, then screw them!!! I'm young grin

ivykaty44 Sat 02-Mar-13 14:04:03

but surely you don't have just one day as middle age - when you get to 40 and 6 months for a day your middle aged and then what?

Its 35 - 45 and who cares a jot.

I work with a really old man,he is a grumpy old man who feels aches and pains and get tried if he isn't in bed for 10pm and then has to have his lovely routine and a beer on a saturday as a treat He has health and a decent body. He is the oldest man I know - he has been alive all of 26 years.

I know men of 70 that are far far younger and go out and still have a lot to do and a lot of fun along the way

When I was in my 20's I worked with someone of 40. And she was OLD. I mean in her attitude, dress, behaviour. Frumpy, and out of touch.

I passed that milestone several years ago, but I do often feel as though I'm still about 18. I don't intend to start acting middle-aged until another couple of decades have passed. Maybe then I'll be ready for orthapedic shoes, mimsy dresses, short hair, and watching Miss Marple.

ivykaty44 Sat 02-Mar-13 14:15:27

{grin] I don't think I will ever be ready for orthopaedic shoes, mimsy dress and watching miss Marple

I will though refuse to grow my hair and may even have a no1 cut wink

If I end up cutting my hair (which obviously will happen one day!), then I'll have to dye it an outrageous colour. At the moment, it's scruffy and only a slightly unnatural shade.

I tend to wear t-shirts with slogans, and trainers, and carry a rucksack. And listen to loud music.

I'm reminded that the person I worked with thought she was being an assertive feminist, and once had a run-in with someone who'd come to fix the photocopier. Let's call her 'A'.
Engineer: Alright love? I've come to fix the copier
A: It's in the office. And I'm not your love.
E: Oh, okay darling.

I had to find some urgent work to do to mask my laughter.

"Getting older is better than the alternative" Well said nalu smile

SoleSource Sat 02-Mar-13 17:44:09

Nalu smile

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