Would anyone actually put this on their child?

(89 Posts)
HerrenaHarridan Tue 26-Feb-13 23:22:52

all daddy wanted was a blow job


I'm fairly unshockable, but on this words fail me

Can anyone persuade me there's a funny side?


LadyApricot Tue 26-Feb-13 23:25:19


ProPerformer Tue 26-Feb-13 23:28:16

Ok, I'm someone who many say has a vile and inappropriate sense of humour - but even I think that is shocking!!

YouTheCat Tue 26-Feb-13 23:29:51

I have seen these online but have never actually seen any kid wearing one.

squeakytoy Tue 26-Feb-13 23:33:00

my god.. I am fairly open minded, but that is just utterly gross.

sadly, there are some people who will think it funny... (the type who go on jeremy kyle and see it as a badge of honour)

HerrenaHarridan Tue 26-Feb-13 23:34:22

I don't know what has me pearl clutching more, emblazoning blow job on you baby or the whole daddy didn't really want me, he wanted a blow job and got landed with me.

But I mean they wouldn't make it if they couldn't sell it to someone, would they?

I was just browsing for next size up clothes, now I'm pondering the state of humanity --again-/

Withalittlesparkle Tue 26-Feb-13 23:36:35

These are horrid!! I saw one the other day "daddy's little squirt" with a picture of a cartoon sperm next to it!!!!!

Pilgit Tue 26-Feb-13 23:38:09

speechless. Just wrong

KB02 Tue 26-Feb-13 23:38:57

Horrible, I was looking for the report button !

HopAndSplash Tue 26-Feb-13 23:39:25

162 sold :O

I don't even get how it relates to a baby anyway? "All daddy wanted was a shag" While equally as disgusting, would relate to accidentally having a baby, but whats a blowjob got to do with anything!? So so disgusting to sexualise a childs clothing like that sad

SashaSashays Tue 26-Feb-13 23:40:53

I think it's quite funny. I don't know if I'd put mine in one, maybe just at home or with friends who I know would laugh. Not for going out as it wouldn't be nice for those who find it offensive.

It's the kind of thing DHs friends might buy for us or I would buy as a joke for my brother when he's had children. Obviously I'd buy something nice as well but this caused me to smile so I think my friends would laugh.

Phosphene Tue 26-Feb-13 23:43:18


I went to Vegas and they had baby vesta with 'I am what happened in Vegas' written on it...

Slainte Tue 26-Feb-13 23:43:52

Witha I saw a pic of one of those the other day too, I was shock

Bogeyface Tue 26-Feb-13 23:46:38

Its the sort of thing that single childless men would buy their mates baby "fer a laff". At least, I hope they are the only people who would buy it.....

squeakytoy Tue 26-Feb-13 23:51:25

I cant see a problem with the Vegas one..

HerrenaHarridan Tue 26-Feb-13 23:52:57

Sasha shock. Really wow! Maybe we're just taking it too literally. Doesn't the suggestion that dc was a mistake and daddy would have preferred a blow job bother you.
Are you someone who often finds humour in especially controversial things?
I hope you don't take that as an attack, I'm trying to get my head round the idea that someone sold 162 of these.
I used to know someone who thought it was hysterically funny when children swore, precisely because it was so wrong and offended people so much. Is this on a similar track?

Daddy's little squirt is marginally funnier. Though I can't imagine putting my kid in that either. It is at least vaguely opaque.

SomethingProfound Tue 26-Feb-13 23:57:44

Are these intended for actual use, or as gag gifts that you would never in a million years put on your DC?

Or perhaps I'm just trying to rationalise its production.

GazpachoSoup Wed 27-Feb-13 00:13:57

No, seriously, not nice. I'm all for cute slogans and dressed mine up in some silly little things like Christmas slogans "mummy's little pudding" grin
That, though?! Horrible. No way.

SashaSashays Wed 27-Feb-13 00:16:34

I think you're right in saying that you're taking it too literally. But to be technical, it says wanted, not preferred and I think it suggests the dc was an accident as opposed to a mistake. Maybe these are popular with those who have an accidental pregnancy.

I wouldn't say I'm 'one of those people' as I don't find humour especially in controversial things, although I do tend to see a funny side to almost everything, including children swearing. Maybe I just find it funny because most of my DC are the result of DH just wanting a shag. We have made jokes about this kind of thing, it often comes up as we have 5 DC and people might joke about not having a telly etc, so when I was pregnant again DH might joke he was only trying to get his leg over.

I just think of it as being a bit like when my DC are running wild and I say to my friend with 1 child to save herself and not have any more. I have been known to come home to the house being a bomb site, DC going manic and comment that they would be the most successful advert for contraception, doesn't mean anything other than a jokey comment.

that is horrible- and tacky.

DH showed me a pic of a mate's baby's changing mat on facebook the other day, it had something along the lines of "9 months ago, mummy & daddy read 50 shades of grey"- just eurgh!

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 27-Feb-13 01:45:01


Perhaps those 163 people all thought they were buying socks.

MidnightMasquerader Wed 27-Feb-13 01:45:51

I know of somebody on another forum who bought one of these for her DD. hmm She was popular on the forum, and everyone thought it was 'hilarious'. A bunch of middle class mothers, not dissimilar from the MN demographic, thought it was hilarious. Well, they kindly said they did, anyway.

I thought she was an idiot, and so following the 'if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all' school of thought, just rolled my eyes and kept schtum.

I can see the joke, as it were. It's monetarily snigger-worthy. But would I pay good money for it and put it on my child? Christ, no. It's desperately <scrambles around looking for an alternative to the dreaded c-word> uncouth...

KeatsiePie Wed 27-Feb-13 07:26:14

Sasha you guys sound lovely and so happy.

Er, back on topic, I wouldn't buy it, mainly b/c I wouldn't want my kid to hear it/think it. But then I think about how my parents were rather prim and I'm not sure it was so good for us. [wavers] No. I wouldn't buy it. I think a joke among friends/family is fine but to print it and put it on the kid is too much.

pigletmania Wed 27-Feb-13 08:12:51


Spice17 Wed 27-Feb-13 10:15:31

Emblazoning the word 'blow job' on your baby - nice. Urgh, just urgh.

Not very shockable but I find this absolutely abhorrant.

WorraLiberty Wed 27-Feb-13 10:18:02

They're vile and tacky

Sadly they're not new and have been around for years.

waitingtobeamummy Wed 27-Feb-13 10:22:16

I know someone who bought it or had it bought for her ds. She sent a photo if him wearing it as a thank you card (she was my boss)
Her and her husband are intelligent people, I don't know how they thought it was funny or the right thing to send to a group of mostly aging women!
It's horrible and Just seems to me like a "your dad didn't want you" sign.

EeyoresGloomyPlace Wed 27-Feb-13 10:25:37

Horrible, tacky, inappropriate, just wrong.

I saw these in a shop a couple of years ago and was appalled. Unfortunately it was the sort of shop pushing the 'aim to shock' line and there was no point in my complaining as just about everything in there was offensive in one way or another so I just left sharpish.

Why would anyone put this on their baby?

MiaowTheCat Wed 27-Feb-13 10:34:22

Would anyone put it on their baby.... someone must cos there are dozens of those sort of designs and they obviously must sell.

I just regard them as the equivalent of the "I'm with stupid -->" t-shirts only with the arrow pointing out of the pushchair and to the parents.

DesiderataHollow Wed 27-Feb-13 10:38:09

Miaow, really ? You can't see the difference between making yourself the butt of a joke, and declaring your child an unwanted mistake?

DonderandBlitzen Wed 27-Feb-13 10:38:58


VictorTango Wed 27-Feb-13 10:39:51

Can you imagine being as adult and coming across a photo of yourself wearing this <<boak>> <<cringe>>

Ridersofthestorm Wed 27-Feb-13 10:53:28


FriendlyLadybird Wed 27-Feb-13 11:10:26

That's just horrible. I thought the Vegas one was quite funny, though I wouldn't buy one myself.

TheCatIsUpTheDuff Wed 27-Feb-13 11:26:22

I think it's quite funny. I wouldn't buy it, but if somebody gave it to me I'd put it on the baby as an underneath layer.

SneezySnatcher Wed 27-Feb-13 11:34:15

Grim. I've also seen the '50 Shades Baby' ones with handcuffs on them <vom>.

A friend of mine is very proud of the fact that she conceived immediately after her wedfing and got a 'Honeymoon Baby' vest for her DC. That's bad enough IMO!

Fakebook Wed 27-Feb-13 11:43:48

Yes I would. The day hell freezes over and pigs start flying across the sky.

Cheap, tacky, tasteless, crude, stupid, vile and WRONG are a few words that come to mind when I look at those astrocities.

willyoulistentome Wed 27-Feb-13 11:45:34


vamosbebe Wed 27-Feb-13 11:52:20

I've also seen, 'Mummy only asked for a backrub' babygros, too.
I must admit I bought a 'Alcatraz reject: too cute' babgro for ds grin so I, too, can be tacky!

Sugarice Wed 27-Feb-13 11:57:02

Messages like that on baby/childrens' clothing are totally inappropriate.


I don't want the word 'blow-job' anywhere near my child.

I really hate the "Are you my Daddy?" ones.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Wed 27-Feb-13 12:07:39

I could only imagine, i might be wrong, only chavs would put things like that on their kids, i certainly wouldnt.

I think it's vile and can't imagine anyone with half a brain putting it on their child.

Why.....just why???

midastouch Wed 27-Feb-13 13:34:07

shock ..

MiaowTheCat Wed 27-Feb-13 14:53:14

DesiderataHollow - I guess I have more important things to do with my life than get in a tizz about what other people choose to dress their children in - and as babies - what they're wearing only really makes a statement about the parents (until they get old enough to declare they will ONLY wear red wellies, a ballet tutu and woolly jumper that day).

I also don't get in a tizz about babies in jeans, hairbands, babygros 24-7 or the usual suspects of debate/sneering.

SashaSashays Wed 27-Feb-13 14:53:45

Keatsie I'm going to take that as you being nice, I think it might be sarcasm but I'm going to pretend the bitches of AIBU do not exist, so.. Thank You, I'm sure you're lovely too, and we are very happy some of the time.

OkayHazel Wed 27-Feb-13 15:47:16

I'm pretty sure it's a joke present and no one actually puts it on their baby.

But then again I have seen Jeremy Kyle, so I might stand corrected.

WhoPaintedTheLion Wed 27-Feb-13 15:57:15

Distasteful. And shameless.

Chiggers Wed 27-Feb-13 16:08:53

Maybe the catch is that the Daddy got more than he bargained for on the night of conception. At least that's how I read it.

Meh, I'm not going to get het up or offended over it. More important things to worry about in life and all that......

OkayHazel Wed 27-Feb-13 16:13:10

Chiggers I agree.

I wouldn't put my kid in it, but if someone wants to, I'm not going to get my back up.

cjel Wed 27-Feb-13 19:11:49


243 now sold. It takes all sorts. Personally I think it's vile.

SnotMeReally Wed 27-Feb-13 19:55:32

just vile sad

I commented to DH about a homemade baby bib stall where one of the slogans was "When I grow up I want an asbo" with a yoof slumped against a lamppost with a can in his hand and a black eye

IMo that's just sick, funny does not come into it - the woman on the stall smuggly said "actually madam they are one of our best sellers".

There are lots of people with no taste who think they have a whacky sense of humour then!

KeatsiePie Wed 27-Feb-13 20:15:31

Sasha I did mean it to be nice! At the time I was afraid it might come off wrong but tried to phrase it well.

twilight3 Wed 27-Feb-13 20:23:04

I think if I actually saw it on a baby I'd find it disgusting, but as a theoretical baby grow it made me giggle...

SashaSashays Wed 27-Feb-13 21:03:12

Thanks Keatsie, I wasn't sure thanks

RemembersItWell Wed 27-Feb-13 21:09:25

MidnightMasquerader. Oh she wasn't popular. And we WERE all just being polite. Can you imagine the bun fight if people had said what they really thought?

KeatsiePie Wed 27-Feb-13 21:37:01

thanks to you Sasha, I really meant it. Our families are scattered about and we probably won't be able to have a large family of our own and I thought your situation sounded really happy and nice.

SashaSashays Wed 27-Feb-13 22:17:05

Lol at such refreshing sweetness on a thread about BLOWJOB adorned babies.

Yes it is nice having a large family an we are lucky in that respect, but like I said I'm convinced we'd be a very effective contraception advert!

MidnightMasquerader Wed 27-Feb-13 22:20:12

Ooh, Remembers - do you know who I mean?!

Grim indeed. I can imagine some people I used to work with buying it as a mat leave kind of gift. But they were young, single childless & predominantly male. I can't imagine many parents dressing there child in it. But if they did, I'm sure it would go with the baby's pierced ears & top knot

<snob emoticon>

arrrghhhhwaiting Wed 27-Feb-13 22:42:24

And you can collect nectar points when you buy it shock

KeatsiePie Thu 28-Feb-13 03:32:47

I know, I realized I've gotten a bit sappy here on a totally inappropriate thread! Oh well grin

MumFrog Thu 28-Feb-13 03:53:41

Must admit that I wouldn't put my own child in one but its the sort of daft thing I'd buy a 'very good' friend..... And then get out the REAL gift.
Its just plain silliness. Its something that'd be passed around, laughed at and filed away! I know none of my close friends would be offended because if they didn't have humour, they wouldn't be in my circle of friends, and no I'm not a chav, I'm a country bumpkin. I don't watch Jeremy Kyle either, repulsive man that he is.
I can't believe so many people are taking it seriously or someone wanted to report it to eBay ffs.
It wouldn't sexualise a baby if someone DID put it on their child. It also wouldn't seriously be taken that Daddy didn't want the child.
I've always used those bodysuits as vests that actually keep the child tucked in so they're an undergarment anyway. I'm so glad that my children are growing up with humour in their lives amongst family and friends.

MumFrog Thu 28-Feb-13 04:01:59

I'm with you there Sasha although my children don't swear or hear it from us.... I imagine my oldest does as he's in Afghan at the moment lol.
We are very lighthearted people and don't take offence at such things.
Each to their own is my view. If I saw a baby wearing the bodysuit, I'd comment and smile, not be tut tutting as some would.

Mother2many Thu 28-Feb-13 19:09:53

I also don't like shirt that have skulls, rock bands, etc. on little children either.... but I admit, I did by my son a "Daddy's little Squirt" onesie... Needless to say when we went to court my Xh, tried to show the judge that onesie... Judge didn't care....

Bogeyface Thu 28-Feb-13 19:15:55

I bought DS a t-shirt with the lyrics of "Friday I'm In Love" on it. Its still my favourite, but no skulls etc involved.
Mother isnt it pathetic what some men will do try and paint the exes as bad parents?!

countrykitten Thu 28-Feb-13 19:20:56

Good God. I can't believe that anyone with a brain would dress their baby in this. Or Daddy's Little Squirt...bloody gross. Sorry Mother2many I just think it's revolting - a knowing, sexual 'joke' on a tiny little child? WTF?

Words fail to describe people so lacking in anything approaching taste or decency.

OutsideOverThere Thu 28-Feb-13 19:23:38

It's horrible.

OutsideOverThere Thu 28-Feb-13 19:26:17

Its just babies are so innocent. You can't put them in this sort of junk.

I understand as a joke, it's not totally beyond unfunny but to put it on a small baby is so grim and unkind and undignified.

I struggled with a Tigger costume my friend sent ds1. That was nothing compared to this.

You just have to look in the mothercare catalogue for the 'crappy page', after their normal baby clothes you then get the santa costume, the devil costume, it's just one of those things some parents think is funny but it's crap.

SashaSashays Thu 28-Feb-13 20:03:31

Whats wrong with Santa outfits? Or band t-shirts? What about football kits?

McKayz Thu 28-Feb-13 20:10:27

I agree with Chiggars. Its not particularly nice but I have more things to worry about.

But then I dress my baby in headbands, skulls, jeans and football kits. Poor little DD.

vile. didn't mind the Vegas one really though, not as bad as actually naming your child after the place they were conceived like some people do!

MiaowTheCat Thu 28-Feb-13 20:31:50

Actually there's one real item of baby clothing that REALLY offends me that I've just remembered:

Things with misplaced apostrophes - someone bought DD1 a babygro that said "Little bear's like to play in the woods"... I couldn't bring myself to put her in that! Seen a few similar things in the shops that have obviously slipped through the net and they wind me up no end.

SashaSashays Thu 28-Feb-13 20:36:02

I'm still intrigued as to know what is so horrendous about dressing your DC up. Are costumes really considered awful too?

Sidge Thu 28-Feb-13 20:36:21

It made me laugh but would I put a baby of mine in one? Not in a million lifetimes. Would I judge someone I knew who dressed their baby in one? Probably not.

For me it's not the 'unwanted baby' insinuation (I don't read it that way) it's the fact that it is a display of a sexual act on a child which is just inherently wrong. Like a child's babygrow that says "All mummy wanted was cunnilingus".

SnotMeReally Thu 28-Feb-13 22:41:51

what about when the child is old enough to look back at baby photos and read and asks - whats a blow job daddy?

what about when they are old enough to understand what it is and grasp the "unwanted" connotations?


OutsideOverThere Fri 01-Mar-13 06:12:12

'Whats wrong with Santa outfits? Or band t-shirts? What about football kits?'

Well, if you like that sort of thing then nothing much.

Speaking of the santa outfits etc,

I think what bothers me is the way it objectifies the baby. The baby becomes an object of ridicule - a joke - something to laugh at or about.

I mean yes babies do funny stuff and I laugh at mine when he looks silly, of course I do but it is in a sympathetic way - because he can't help it. It's not a 'I know, let's MAKE him do something stupid, or dress him up as a Christmas pudding and then laugh at him.'

That's just contrived and unfair. I think it hides a fair bit of anger towards babies when people do this. (which is totally normal). It's a way of saying 'no, you're NOT in charge of me despite the way you make me love you, keep me awake all night and scream at me for no apparent reason.'

It's putting them in their place. Because there's only so much we can take. But at the same time it IS like taking the mickey out of them, and that's something I find pretty intolerable most of the time.

You know - they are people, they deserve some respect. But it's all on a continuum. I'm not saying it's the worst thing in the world. just another way of establishing dynamics and boundaries. We all do it somehow.

McKayz Fri 01-Mar-13 07:24:30

I have never read anything so strange in my whole life. I have absolutely no anger what so ever towards my baby and it is stupid to think that.

I put her in a cute little reindeer outfit because it was cute, not because I hate her.

outside gosh, that is a very, very odd way to see things. I dressed dd up in a girl's santa outfit when she was one, sat her next to the tree & used to resulting photograph as our Christmas card for close family. I wasn't angry, she didn't keep me awake, I love loving her, she just looked soooo frickin' cute!!!

DS (11 mo) has a gruffalo outfit as a snow suit. Beloved it and hates it being take off when we get home. But the. His sister has a gruffalo obsession so he's familiar with it.

I don't love the whole baby as a pumpkin thing, but don't think it's cruel.

I'm not a great fan of football kits & band t-shirts as I think it's treating your child as an accessory. Especially if they're a baby & clearly have no opinion on the band/team. My parents sent DS an Ireland rugby shirt. He looked very cute, but I was still a bit uncomfortable. I photographed him, emailed them& put it back in the drawer. Although he definitely WILL support Ireland when he's older!

MidnightMasquerader Fri 01-Mar-13 08:04:26

I suppose it very much depends how you view taking the mickey out of people.

DH and I take the piss out of each other frequently. I see it as part of a happy, loving, friendship-filled relationship.

I'm guessing you see it as far more of a negative thing, OutsideOverThere?

OutsideOverThere Fri 01-Mar-13 09:31:50

Sorry, no offence intended...I think anger was too strong a word. I think it was a bit early in the morning smile

What I mean is yes, taking the mickey is kind of a separational tool - at any age - and yes it does make me really uncomfortable but I know lots of parents and other people who think it's fine, and do it to their children, and they're great parents and I really like them. Yet, they've got a different take on this sort of thing to me.

They're the kind of people who will play tricks on their kids - like taking a 2yo's dummy away and hiding it then pretending they don't know where it is, and laughing a bit. that sort of thing. It's not my way of doing things but I doubt it does any serious harm.

SashaSashays Fri 01-Mar-13 11:15:06

OutsideOverThere, I think that is totally ludicrous. Even if anger is to stronger word and you in fact meant a very mild resentment or something of a similarly low level vein, I can see no sense in what you've said.

Its cute and another 'thing' to do on a special event. You seem very focused on the idea that its funny and therefore as a parent I'm actively making my child the butt of a joke. These things aren't exactly funny, more cute/sweet. However even if it was about laughing at the baby I can't see that as an issue, learning to have the piss taken is important. My DC look back and laugh at themselves or each other in silly pictures or ooh and aww over how cute they were.

Earlier you posted that its undignified but personally I just don't associate being dignified with a baby, thats exactly what they are not. There is no pretence and I don't think its right to project adult sensitivities onto a baby.

We do play tricks on the DC and they play tricks or practical jokes on us or each other, we all laugh about it and take it on the chin. I can't see why this is a bad thing. I think you are being oversensitive.

OutsideOverThere Fri 01-Mar-13 11:21:07


OutsideOverThere Fri 01-Mar-13 11:23:02

I do think it's the sweetest thing in the world when child chooses to wear a costume, or dress up, butthey tend to be a bit older, maybe 2,3,4.

I just would feel uncomfortable putting a cute, funny, deliberately amusing costume or t shirt on my child before they too could understand the joke iyswim. that's just me.

OutsideOverThere Fri 01-Mar-13 11:24:14

No I'm lying - I had a MN t shirt for ds2 when he was little. something about being on here all day and all he got was this lousy t shirt.

It lasted about one wear I think, it was a bit embarrassing tbh.

everlong Fri 01-Mar-13 11:25:55

I can't see anybody putting their kid in that.

I mean you'd have to be a total fuckwit.

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