to think warning your neighbours you're going to have an all-night party doesn't make it ok?

(34 Posts)
getmeaginandtonicnow Mon 25-Feb-13 20:21:34

I've often heard people say that if you tell neighbours in advance, then they won't be annoyed on the night. I don't understand why. It's still annoying!

The woman behind me came round on Sat to say, yet again, that they were going to have a party that night. It went on until 5am, all her windows open, my house shaking with the noise. I wouldn't mind if special occasion etc, but she does it every few weeks. What use is it me knowing in advance? I mean, I can't exactly move out for the night or anything! She genuinely thinks politely telling people beforehand makes it ok to then ruin their night. She's a nice person apart from this, I find it really strange.

teaandbourbons Mon 25-Feb-13 20:23:48

Would she listen if you asked her to keep the windows closed and the music down. Just say it kept you up last time. If she ignores you then you definitely have a case for complaint!

bigfatguff Mon 25-Feb-13 20:26:16

Yanbu. There is no need for it to be so loud that it keeps your neighbours awake and certainly no need for open windows. If you want that level of thumping noise go to a nightclub. 5.00a.m. is also ridiculous. I would make my feelings known to them.

erowid Mon 25-Feb-13 20:26:33

If it is happening that often, the next time she comes round to warn you just tell her you appreciate the advanced warning but you would still like it to occur less often and could she keep the windows closed to lessen the noise.

BridgetBidet Mon 25-Feb-13 20:29:12

YANBU. Next time she comes round tell her that it's happening too often and the noise is excessive and she needs to rein it in.

If she goes round to tell people she's having a party she may be reasonable enough to listen. If she genuinely thinks that as long as she tells people it's okay you may need to disabuse her of that notion.

After all if she comes round and everybody just says 'Yes, fine okay' she doesn't know there's a problem.

marjproops Mon 25-Feb-13 20:29:12

Theres supposed by law to be a curfew on how late parties go on for. check on your council website and maybe wave that in mfront of neighbour.

you need support from other neighbours too though.

I seem to live on a street where apart from the parety people, the rest of the street are all stone deaf.

and if she wants an all nighter tell her to hire a hall somewhere, its supposed to be against the law in a residential street to go on all night.

deleted203 Mon 25-Feb-13 20:30:17

I'd be telling her in no uncertain terms that giving me advance warning doesn't mean it's ok. I'd politely tell her that if it were a one off, such as a 21st birthday I'd be fairly tolerant. Being kept awake all night on a regular basis is completely unacceptable. I would tell her that unfortunately my tolerance has reached an end and that she needs to keep the noise down, the windows closed and stop disrupting the entire neighbourhood.

I'd then give her polite advance warning that if she is having another all night party then I will be phoning the police grin

maddening Mon 25-Feb-13 20:31:48

When she comes round say it's fine as long as she keeps the windows shut and music down and see how it is then?

lola88 Mon 25-Feb-13 20:59:13

The only time i would just deal with that is new year apart from that a one off is fair enough but past 1am i'd be going to ask her to shut the windows and keep the music down.

AnnaRack Mon 25-Feb-13 21:15:27

Ask her to give more notice next time, then you can find somewhere else to stay for the night. You shouldnt have to do that though, it's your home. Buy a good set of ear plugs!

livinginwonderland Mon 25-Feb-13 21:56:45

it's against the law to have parties going on that late in residential areas, so YANBU. i would be especially pissed off because i wake up at 5am on sundays to go to a ten hour shift at work!

complain to the council (anonymously if you want) and she'll have to keep it down or she'll be faced with fines for antisocial behaviour. do other neighbours feel the same? if several of you are unhappy, she might realise her behaviour is unreasonable.

expatinscotland Mon 25-Feb-13 22:01:36

YANBU. It's never reasonable to have an all-night party in a residential area.

expatinscotland Mon 25-Feb-13 22:03:42

Ear plugs don't block out bass. And why should she find somewhere else to stay? This bitch needs to find somewhere else to party. She does it every few weeks? I'd be reporting her ass and calling environmental health - some councils do on the spot fines.

bottleofbeer Mon 25-Feb-13 22:10:53

My neighbour does this, I've got four kids and we live in a three bed terrace - exactly the same as her house so it doesn't take a genius to work out that her back yard is directly below my kid's bedrooms.

One night, 3am, all in her back yard, her dog going mental, shouting, music etc...My then seven year old son was ill, raging temp and he was crying and begging me to make the noise stop because he just wanted to sleep.

My husband knocked and politely explained, she got dead arsey, and when he said that there are kids either side of her house she told us that the people on the other side of her were there at her party (as if to point out that we weren't invited but they were). I was so bloody angry, basic manners would surely have made sure she at least brought the party indoors and closed the doors?

She's nice enough I suppose but to this day I secretly fume with her.

Antidote Mon 25-Feb-13 22:14:36

Call your local council noise nuisance team. Ours are just fabulous. They come once & measure the decibels, and issue a warning.

If it carries on they confiscate the equipment (weren't expecting that were you, my skanky scary student neighbors?)

OHforDUCKScake Mon 25-Feb-13 22:18:10

If shes small and canadian, she'll be my old neighbour. I always wondered which poor bastard has to put up with her now.

TwentiethCenturyGirl Mon 25-Feb-13 22:28:33

No, it doesn't make it ok. Until you've experienced anti social, ignorant, noisy neighbours, I'd don't think you realise how much it affects your life and the way you feel about your home.

We have ongoing problems with the level at which our neighbours listen to their music. We've made our feelings known to them but it makes no difference. There's no rhyme or reason to when they crank the stereo up but it tends to be worse on the nights they've 'warned us'. I dread coming home sometimes TBH, particularly if we know they've told us they're having a party - they definitely think letting people know makes anything permissible.

We're meant to be moving soon, otherwise I'd definitely have involved the council's antisocial behaviour team by now.

tallulah Mon 25-Feb-13 22:38:47

No, it doesn't make it OK at all. But if our PITA neighbours had taken the trouble to warn us that they were having a 24 hour party only 2 days after I'd got home after burying my father I'd at least have had the opportunity to go away and not have to listen to it/ put up with all their idiotic friends gawping through my lounge window angry

YANBU.

BodieBolts Mon 25-Feb-13 23:08:33

I think a warning in advance is polite if it is a one off occasion. But if it is all the time then ... YANBU.

corlan Mon 25-Feb-13 23:20:09

YANBU - it's pure selfishness.

They should hire a bloody function room or buy a house in the middle of the countryside if they want to make that much noise!

Jojobump1986 Mon 25-Feb-13 23:22:47

YANBU. It reminds me of my student days when my delightful flatmates popped round at 6pm to ask if I'd mind if they had 'a few people round' 'sometime'... By 6.10 the music was on & people were flooding in. My room was right by the front door so people were constantly banging into it & by 4am the few remaining people decided to congregate in the room next to mine & watch a loud film while smoking pot which came straight through the porous wall. There were at least 2 other rooms which could have been used for the film watching which wouldn't have disturbed anyone. I cried myself to sleep at about 5am.

Definitely contact your council's noise people. In fact, next time she informs you of her party plans, tell her you're sure the noise people will appreciate her advanced warning so they can schedule a visit! wink

NopeStillNothing Tue 26-Feb-13 08:19:51

Yanbu! Warning people of a little noise is polite. Warning neighbours of an all night raving, pissup is not. I would mention it next time she comes round and report.

PseudoBadger Tue 26-Feb-13 08:59:43

A bit of misinformation above about Environmental Health. What you need to do is call while the noise is going on and then let the officers into your house to witness the noise nuisance (anonymous is no good). It also does not have to be a recurrent problem, a one off is taken seriously.
If it is a statutory nuisance the officer will serve a notice to get the noise stopped - breach of this (a recurrence of noise) is a criminal offence.
So call EH next time and they'll sort it if it's bad enough.

Purple2012 Tue 26-Feb-13 09:14:47

Where we live environmental health are mon - fri day workers.

Next time she warns you in advance say it's not ok. Give her the chance to recitify the problem. If that doesn't help ring EH. They will send an initial letter. Hopefully that will solve the problem. If not they can escalate it and issue noise recording equipment.

weegiemum Tue 26-Feb-13 09:19:49

I've never done this with a neighbour.

But we used to live close to Hampden, in Glasgow and sometimes the noise rattled the windows.

Yes, my dh is tne gut who got Bon Jovi to turn it down!!

PseudoBadger Tue 26-Feb-13 09:23:28

Many places have 24 hour noise teams now, if not 7 days then perhaps Friday and Saturday nights. The OP could check?

BinarySolo Tue 26-Feb-13 09:31:23

I really sympathise. We had a neighbour who used to listen to his music and have he tv on at maximum volume. He'd smoke pot and stay up until about 5 am. Not funny when you've got work the next day. I had a particularly early start one day and it went on until about 3 am - I was leaving the house at 6 am. I cried that night, but wouldn't let dh knock on the door as the neighbour had been drinking and smoking dope with a rough-looking mate. I still have an aversion to Coldplay and Faithless, I can't get no sleep. Oh the irony.

We'd also hear him argue\had sex with his gf. Nice!

KellyElly Tue 26-Feb-13 10:34:59

Call your local council noise nuisance team. Ours are just fabulous. They come once & measure the decibels, and issue a warning. << Do this. It's not acceptable. If she wants to party until 5am on a regular basis then go to a club.

atthewelles Tue 26-Feb-13 11:28:02

YANBU. When people say 'warn your neighbours' they are usually talking about a one off event eg a 21st birthday party and even then they usually invite the neighbours to come in for a drink as a courtesy and assure them that the music will be switched off by a certain time.

The people next door to my mother have two sons who used to have parties nearly every second weekend that went on until all hours. It was incredibly annoying. The people on the other side had one or two parties for special events. Always invited my mum in for a drink and always made sure the noise was kept well down after midnight. Needless to say, their kids have grown up to be lovely adults while the other pair are still inconsiderate yobs.

mrsjay Tue 26-Feb-13 11:30:32

Yanbu till 5 am is taking the piss we live in flats and have a young guy living next door he has a few parties but mostly women clip clopping out the building at daft oclock I wouldnt put up with music till 5 am

ubik Tue 26-Feb-13 11:33:59

the students upstairs warned us of a 21st birthday party - and as it was a one off we didn't complain even though they were still going at 7.30am (music had been turned off in the early hrs though)

I can forgive a special event/one off, but every few weeks is just too much. Send the noise team round.

EldritchCleavage Tue 26-Feb-13 11:37:48

When she comes round, you negotiate. Our neighbour's son did this, and I said 'Music off by 1am though, yes?' He was a bit taken aback, but agreed.

And in your case, I think you have to say it is happening too often and you're not happy.

digerd Tue 26-Feb-13 11:43:55

I've never had, wanted or been able to do an all night party until 5.am. How old is she , a teenager? And all windows open in the winter ? What are they doing to get them so hot? Jumping up and down all night?

What do the other neighbours say?
Not only do I find it really strange but also intolerable.

samandi Tue 26-Feb-13 11:52:00

If they've come round to warn you that shows an element of consideration. I would feel more happy about going over to complain if a neighbour had warned me first. Perhaps she doesn't realise how loud it is - I would go over and talk to her. The windows should be closed and the music turned down to a reasonable volume after midnight at the least.

If it's a one off I'm inclined to think fair enough, but I know how annoying it is when neighbours have parties so frequently. It is inconsiderate, and she needs to be told!

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