To ask if you've ever heard something interesting whilst eavesdropping

(99 Posts)
HilaryClinton Mon 25-Feb-13 09:35:37

Not amazing but on the tram I heard two colleagues talking about (a manager) that was trying to get cosy with the younger one. The older one started saying about his lovely wife and their kids. The young one kept going "are you sure we're talking about the same person?"... But they were. It was riveting.

My husband was interviewed for a big promotion at work. That afternoon the senior managers had a meeting to discuss the interviews and candidates in the meeting room adjacent his office.... He found he needed something from the other side of the site. But he did get the job.

kim147 Mon 25-Feb-13 09:39:55

Pretty much most mobile phone conversations I hear around here seem to be arguments. I think a lot of stressed and unhappy people live near me.

Chigley1 Mon 25-Feb-13 09:41:35

I was having an early morning cup of tea in McDs before work and could her the couple next to me talking. It became clear that they were having an affair. She was definitely married, not sure about him.

HilaryClinton Mon 25-Feb-13 09:41:39

Ooh that's sad. I do sometimes see people looking at their phone on disbelief of the words that have come out of it.

thegraduand Mon 25-Feb-13 09:45:04

I heard that Sid was leaving CBeebies at the end of March, he was walking along behind me in Salford Quays chatting to someone. The voice was really familiar and at first I assumed it was someone I worked with but couldn't place. Didn't dawn on me I knew him from the telly.

FirstTimeForEverything Mon 25-Feb-13 09:45:55

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fertilityFTW Mon 25-Feb-13 09:48:31

We like to give people something entertaining to overhear. So on the weekend while shopping (well, browsing really) for baby things we debated the best time to get the baby chipped. When they're 3 mths or 6mths? What do you think, dear?

noodleone Mon 25-Feb-13 09:59:30

Years ago on the train, the man behind me was restructuring the channel tunnel (as it was called at the time) finance structure. I was riveted

FruOla Mon 25-Feb-13 10:32:40

On a commuter train on a Friday evening, a group of women sitting behind me - they were talking about their various plans for the weekend. One of them was going to a wedding on the Saturday; her friend, X, was marrying a guy called Y. She thought it might be a bit 'rough' as loads of Y's yobbish football mates were going to be at the wedding.

Y played football with my, then, DP and ... yes, we were going to his wedding the next day! I might add that Y, DP and their football mates weren't in the least yobbish grin

HorribleMother Mon 25-Feb-13 10:42:39

Moms in the supermarket confessing that they went ahead & bought Easter Eggs for the DC last wee ("it's only a pound"). then the moms scoffed the eggs themselves shortly after getting home. I suddenly realised That's why Easter Eggs are on sale from January.

I sometimes see people looking sideways at DH when he's on the phone because it sounds like he is some kind of stock trader, selling things for several million before the price drops.

He looks like a scruffy hobbit, and he is talking about some RPG game he plays, normally he is on the phone discussing tactics with his friends <yawn> but is sounds really impressive to the casual eavesdropper!

freddiefrog Mon 25-Feb-13 10:55:19

I was at work one day with a window open, and overheard a blow by blow (quite literally actually) account of someone's sexual encounter the evening before.

I learnt a few tips actually grin

steppemum Mon 25-Feb-13 11:04:41

fertility, that is priceless!!!

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Mon 25-Feb-13 11:08:50

Most recently in a local supermarket on Valentines Day, I overheard 2 blokes talking near the flower display:

Bloke 1: You know it's all a big money-making con?
Bloke 2: I know, I know, but I can't take the risk. She'll kill me!

grin

gardengate Mon 25-Feb-13 12:08:04

It's amazing the number of people who talk over me as if I'm not there. But they do tend to lean on me too. I know secrets. Moo-ha-ha-haz-ha!

Ashoething Mon 25-Feb-13 12:31:11

I evesdropped on my next door neighbour bitching about me to her crony-they were in the garden and I had the bedroom window open. After 10 years of her never speaking to us and giving filthy looks I decided to confront her-it was very cartharticgrin

FruitOwl Mon 25-Feb-13 12:56:50

While at uni I went on holiday with my then boyfriend, and his mother picked us up from the airport when we arrived home. I was knackered so fell asleep but woke up in time to hear her saying that it was my fault that he'd failed his first year of uni. Not sure how she figured that one out as I passed my own course comfortably. I confronted him about it afterwards as he hadn't defended me, and he denied that she'd ever said it! That was the beginning of the end and I think it was a lucky escape...

pluCaChange Mon 25-Feb-13 13:03:09

noodleone, you lucky thing! I was reporting on the Chunnel's restructuring when it happened and could have done with the insider knowledge! wink

limitedperiodonly Mon 25-Feb-13 13:10:28

No but I've got a really big gob. After too many times being caught gossiping about someone who turns out to be standing behind me or whose friend is, I've learned to button it.

LaurieBlueBell Mon 25-Feb-13 13:11:47

I didn't actually mean to evesdrop but I was in school staff room once and heard the deputy head discussing my ds with a group of staff. DS is a lovely boy who never gets into any trouble. The dh was taking the micky and insinuating DS was a bit vague and gormless. I was gutted for ds even though he wasn't there sad

cece Mon 25-Feb-13 13:11:55

In chemists one day. A lady came in who had had her 7th baby about 6 weeks ago. She confided to shop assistant that she was pg with her 8th!

pluCaChange Mon 25-Feb-13 13:12:19

That's right: "Loose lips sink ships"!

pluCaChange Mon 25-Feb-13 13:13:30

Sorry, that was in response to limitedperiod's post! smile

limitedperiodonly Mon 25-Feb-13 13:17:28

tasteslikepanda I've got a DH like that. Part of his job involves handmade shoes.

He was shouting into his phone in a noisy airport about carrying uppers and needles. Luckily no one called the police for a strip search.

AhsataN Mon 25-Feb-13 13:17:54

was having a drink with my dp(now ex) and his mother id had enough so decided to go to bed. while laying there i could his mother telling him how she didnt like me and i wasnt the girl for him i was too strong and she didnt acept it, blah blah blah.
now bare in mind we had been together for over 2 yrs by this point.
funny after nearly 7 years later those exact words came out of his mouth as his excuse for leaving me and his ds homeless and with nothing. thanks cunt!

Pilgit Mon 25-Feb-13 13:23:09

On a packed commuter train some guy was having a very loud conversation about redundancies that he was having to make. He wasn't being in the least discrete and it was a fairly big company that lots of people on the train would know about. Couldn't help thinking it could affect the share price knowing the company is in that situation.....

also heard far too much to remember from our rather loud HR department! We've got used to just not remembering what we've heard as it would be deeply inappropriate for colleagues in the rest of the company (really, too well behaved - but we are the legal dept!)

TheCatIsUpTheDuff Mon 25-Feb-13 13:23:10

Years ago, DH was staying with his then girlfriend. He went to bed, and heard her talking to her mate about the other bloke she'd been seeing behind his back. He got up and left and never went back.

limitedperiodonly Mon 25-Feb-13 13:29:46

pluCaChange I wouldn't get a job in MI5 because I'm known for it.

Someone told me he'd been offered a better job but begged me not to tell anyone. I didn't. It turned out he was hadn't been offered another job but was just using me to spread the rumour to get a pay rise. It didn't work because I didn't tell anyone.

He knew I was a bigmouth but what he didn't know that I'll keep a promise even if it kills me. He shouldn't have made me promise or should have just told me the truth.

GaryBuseysTeeth Mon 25-Feb-13 13:33:06

About 5 years ago there was a woman on the same train as me who spent the entire 2 hour journey on the phone to a friend discussing;
The man who she was having an affair with, being a bastard for spending Christmas with his wife & kids instead of her.
That last time they had sex she'd injured him (bruised ribs?) and he was unable to work for a week.

By the time she'd got off the train I'd worked out he was a relatively well-know (opera) singer.

Jojobump1986 Mon 25-Feb-13 13:58:48

I once listened to someone's entire therapy session on a train, from the counsellor's point of view. Lots of "Hmm... We've been here before, haven't we? Do you think you can use the same strategies again? They were so successful last time..." I never did quite figure out what the issue was or why, if the strategies were genuinely so successful, they hadn't already got it sorted! Eventually the conversation ended with "Ok, well I'll be going through a tunnel in a moment we weren't for at least another 15-20mins so why don't you give that a try and I'll see you at the appointment tomorrow."

By far the juiciest bit of gossip I've accidentally overheard was when I was at a Christian youth group & was sitting next to 2 friends of mine who'd split up a few months before. They seemed completely oblivious to the fact that I was there & they weren't exactly talking quietly while they discussed the fact that they both 'did want to do it again but didn't want to be the first to say it' & 'if only they'd talked about it at the time they might never have split up' & 'it was her first time so she didn't really know how to talk about it' & 'at least they were safe'... As a v innocent, sheltered teenager I was very shocked & didn't know how to react to what I was hearing so just sat there trying to be invisible & hoped they didn't go into any more detail! I've often wondered if it was a genuine conversation or whether it was some weird trick to test if I'd keep my mouth shut! I did. I suspect it was true though, which makes the fact that he started dating her sister soon after even more odd! confused

PseudoBadger Mon 25-Feb-13 14:06:21

Dp and I were sitting in front of two men in the theatre. During the performance (Cabaret) they discussed a sexual encounter that one had had recently in very graphic detail eg "so I had him pushed up against the wall, and then he bent me over the coffee table". blush

limitedperiodonly Mon 25-Feb-13 14:19:41

Years ago I was sitting on the next table to two men. From the conversation the older one was gay and hitting on the younger one who was getting drunker and drunker, oblivious to the pass.

It was clear they worked together and the younger one seemed to have no idea his colleague was gay. The younger one's wife had just had a baby and he was grumbling that they hadn't had sex in ages.

The older man announced 'women are disgusting anyway. They can never get themselves clean.'

I was shock and then he stared at me and added: 'and they eavesdrop.' I don't know whether he was winding me up. I don't think so.

BegoniaBampot Mon 25-Feb-13 14:24:11

A man in our town was up on charge for murdering his wife (they had never found her body). He used to meet with his solicitor in the park cafe when I was sometimes at the next table. Didn't hear that much but couldn't help trying to have a good old listen. Also, recently my local MP was having lunch with a friend or colleague in our local pub and they were having a good old gossip about other MPs.

KellyElly Mon 25-Feb-13 14:27:23

I heard a woman on the bus talking to someone she must have met online dating. He was trying to persuade her to give him her address!! The poor woman was trying to say no politely and say that he already had her number and email and she wanted to hold something back as they still hadn't met. I was thinking noooo don't do it, don't give your address to a stranger from match.com!

milf90 Mon 25-Feb-13 14:32:20

My parents have a time share in a 5 star spa resort hotel (much too nice for us ;) ) I wentto use the wifi in reception and there was a man in there on the phone moaning about how he was losing £200,000 worth of interest because somebody hadn't moved his money to the right account grin how much money must he have had to get that much interest???? He then went on to talk about thousands of pounds as if it was nothing

VitoCorleone Mon 25-Feb-13 14:35:11

I was sat on my back door step having a fag one evening last summer when i hear the girl who lives behind me having an argument with her nana.

Nana: oh just piss off will you

Girl: no i fucking wont, im sick to death of people round here slagging me off, saying things that arent true

Nana: well its your own bloody fault for always giving them summat to talk about.

Girl: yea well i shagged john twice last night

Nana: i dont want to hear about your sex life.

orangepudding Mon 25-Feb-13 14:40:56

I walked past my neighbours house last summer and heard a mum and her teenage mum daughter arguing. My guess was teen was having another baby - baby is due in the next couple of weeks!

limitedperiodonly Mon 25-Feb-13 14:42:53

Last year I had an important meeting that my mum wanted to be in on. She's like that. I said no but promised to call her to say how it went just to stop her going on.

Being my mother, she wouldn't take: 'Yes, it was okay mum. Talk to you later,' and started with the: 'You should have said this' and 'did you tell them that?'. I ended up defensively blurting out details on the bus home before it dawned on me that people who knew me or what I was talking about could well have been on the bus too.

It's all the fault of my own big mouth but God, my bloody interfering mother who should get a part time job interrogating particularly loose-lipped spies.

eavesdropping Mon 25-Feb-13 14:52:14

Oh yes. NCing for this one as want to be vague...

When I was growing up we lived next door to a well-known TV presenter. My brother and I discovered that we could pick up their cordless phone calls on medium wave on the radio. This was VERY interesting. Especially when they started having an affair with another very well known TV presenter. We heard their (rather creepy) pet names for each other & everytime I see them on TV I always think of the revolting nicknames.

CremeEggScoffer Mon 25-Feb-13 15:18:30

eaves you can't leave it like that, I'm dying to kinow who they were grin

Do tell Eaves!

Arithmeticulous Mon 25-Feb-13 16:55:11

Eaves shock Give us a clue! Cheggers?

peeriebear Mon 25-Feb-13 17:17:20

Went out for lunch with DH when I was about 7-8 weeks pregnant. The girl at the table behind us was talking very loudly and casually about her impending abortion angry how she was only 11 weeks so it would only be small, and how she could get pissed because it wouldn't matter, and so on. I felt like ramming my fork into her temple.

Greythorne Mon 25-Feb-13 17:30:53

Peerie

May I ask your reasons for being anti-abortion?

deleted203 Mon 25-Feb-13 17:37:22

Once went out for dinner and the couple at the table behind us were having an intimate meal for two when the chap produced a ring and got down on one knee. I was hissing at DH 'Oh..he's proposing!' all excitedly. His girlfriend looked at him in shock, cried quietly - and then said 'No'...

Poor bloke was left looking stunned and miserable and his gf fled the restaurant in tears leaving him sitting there and eventually calling sadly for the bill.

Ruined my night! (And his, presumably).

peeriebear Mon 25-Feb-13 17:39:25

I'm not anti-abortion Greythorne, I'm anti-twat.

HilaryClinton Mon 25-Feb-13 18:03:49

Eaves- Paul and Debbie?

D0G Mon 25-Feb-13 18:06:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BegoniaBampot Mon 25-Feb-13 18:11:07

Sowornout - oh dear! Can't help wonder what kind of person thinks it's a good idea to propose in public though.

Greythorne Mon 25-Feb-13 18:44:05

Peerie

Why do you consider a woman discussing an abortion a twat?

BegoniaBampot Mon 25-Feb-13 18:57:10

greythorne - maybe it was the way she was discussing it in a public place. I probably would have thought the same as Peerie if I heard someone talking about their abortion like that.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Turniphead1 Mon 25-Feb-13 19:06:35

When I was a lawyer I was having a rather heated debate with the lawyer of the other side on the phone. She actually used to work at the from I was with. We ended the conversation but she failed to put the phone down properly. She then proceeded to slag me off to her client who was with her on the phone - and also tell lies about stuff that had been done on the transaction.

It was great fun making oblique references to things she had said in a way that must of driven her demented as it how I knew the exact words he had said etc.

Turniphead1 Mon 25-Feb-13 19:07:26

Sorry that should be - debate on the phone , with the other side's lawyer.

HanBreakTurn Mon 25-Feb-13 19:09:45

The woman is tesco the other day was talking to someone else about how itchy her thrush was. Classy.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Mon 25-Feb-13 19:15:59

just recently I overheard a cracker of a conversation. Have to be careful about how I word this (I don't think I wasn't supposed to know this, it isn't a secret)

There was a small company that was bought by a bigger company. Bigger company ran it for 8 ish years, top heavy with management and paying ridiculous wages to the top dudes/shareholders. Eventually the inevitable happened, company went tits up. The small company bought it back at a knock-down price and have set about sorting out the years of mismanagement and getting their profile back to what it once was.

The company are steadily becoming more successful and bought another smaller associate company, it wasn't shouted about though - there was no reason to.

The associate company advertised for a top manager. CV comes in, but is sent to parent company for review. It is one of the members of staff from the 'big' company that went bust. The CV is full of utter bullshit about how much money HE made the company, how successful HE was and how basically the sun shone out of his bum (when his mismanagement was part of the reason for the company going tits-up and resulted in the loss of many jobs)

The people discussing the CV were incensed but joking about inviting him for an interview and then having the full board of current managers/owners (who he bought the company off and then sold it back to) sitting there in the board room to welcome him grin

BegoniaBampot Mon 25-Feb-13 19:18:23

Ooh, just had a text from husband and he's sitting on a plane with Clegg in the seat in front. Told him to have an earwig in and report back!

Ilovemydogandmydoglovesme Mon 25-Feb-13 19:24:37

Greythorne did you read all of the thread before you jumped on the abortion topic? The poster clearly said she was newly pregnant herself and therefore really didn't want to hear somebody so blithely and disrespectfully discussing aborting a baby that was a few more weeks along than her own.

hmm

Theicingontop Mon 25-Feb-13 19:32:39

Walking behind a slightly drunk group of women one night while coming home from work, and discovering that one of the women, the week before, got so horny all of a sudden whilst at work, that she went into the staff toilets and had a wank. The women were in fits of laughter and lots of 'Oh what are you like?!' comments.

The awkward part was, I recognised her as my SIL's sister when she finally turned around and realised there was someone behind them. I don't think she saw who I was, it was quite dark.

Hilarious.

HomeEcoGnomist Mon 25-Feb-13 19:32:44

I overheard a conversation on a train - I hesitate to say eavesdropped, as the people were talking so loudly you'd have to have major hearing problems to miss it

Anyway, she evidently worked in recruitment and was telling him about a senior role she was trying to fill, based in Nigeria. She named the company very clearly.

He was commiserating about how that must be a difficult role to fill.

Her response...
"I'll just find someone shit near the end of their career, it'll be easy money" shock

Reader, that cemented my general hatred of recruitment consultants. I felt quite tempted to ring up the company concerned and enlighten them as to the progress of their executive hire...

peeriebear Mon 25-Feb-13 19:33:45

Thanks Ilove... I don't want to derail into yet another bunfight on abortion, I thought my reasons were clear, ie exactly what you've said above!

HecateWhoopass Mon 25-Feb-13 19:50:53

Last week I was at the Northern General and a woman came storming past half shouting half crying into her mobile about how Soandso had told her she was a danger, not doctor material, etc, etc.

She was upset and really angry and not aware of anyone around her.

it was sad and I did wonder what on earth she had done to be told that!

CalamityJ Mon 25-Feb-13 19:52:57

Interesting to me was a conversation I overheard on a train which almost made me LOL. A group of students from Manchester were visiting their friend who was at uni near my town. They'd never heard of my town before visiting their friend but seemed excited to be visiting. They were in a text conversation with their friend about what to eat that evening. The students wanted a Chinese and their friend seemed to be doing all she could to get them to have a pizza. Her excuse which made me almost LOL was that Mytown didn't have takeaways 'This is Mytown you know not Manchester'! So the students were discussing how small and backward Mytown must be and were even asking each other if it was a village! I had to step in and say Mytown is a town and we've even got running water and electricity! They laughed and asked if there were any takeaways near the station. I said the station area is really studenty and there's loads of takeaways within walking distance. Their friend is clearly having them on saying Mytown doesn't have takeaways and they should put their foot down about getting a Chinese as there's definitely one near the station. They seemed quite pleased to have encountered a nosy local with takeaway knowledge!

ThedementedPenguin Mon 25-Feb-13 19:58:23

This is a brilliant thread, I haven't anything to add.

digerd Mon 25-Feb-13 19:58:27

2 women on the bus talking about a 93 year-old, who they have seen running to catch her connected bus to her next of several bingo venues, every day. Then they said " She tells everyone how many people come into her house to bath her, dress her, do her housework, shopping etc, and I've seen her RUNNING for the bus!" I saw her too.

chandellina Mon 25-Feb-13 20:04:30

I overheard a sad one recently with a guy who'd been dragged into some messy legal dispute, possibly involving financial wrongdoing, and it sounded like he wasn't involved in the bad stuff but still liable by virtue of being a director.

The one that really got me was some annoying bloke on his phone going on about this mate he was speaking to mustn't ever admit to doing his own laundry or ironing, and that he wouldn't be able to have him round his house in case he let on about it and the first bloke's wife got any funny ideas. He went on and on, as if it was hilarious that he'd duped his wife into seeing to his infantile needs. I really wanted to say something.

Both of these were on the train.

TheOneAndOnlyAlpha Mon 25-Feb-13 20:04:58

Years ago on a late tube I overheard two off duty policemen discussing an office party. One of their (female) colleagues had got very drunk and on the way home, took all her clothes off and posed on a bicycle. Someone took a photo. She was sacked. It was a fairly empty train and I had my earphones in (though the music was off). They then added that there was no seat on the bike. But she still 'sat' on it. Iykwim. They found it most amusing.

JuliesSistersCousinsAuntsCat Mon 25-Feb-13 20:10:53

Mine was from when I had just started dating a guy, X, about 8/9 years ago (I was 18). I was due to meet him in a bar when I was with friends. Popped to the loo to hear a woman moaning about her boyfriends vague behaviour over the last few weeks to her friend. I realised it was my current squeezes ex ( I'd never met her but saw her in photos with him). I found some dutch courage and asked her if she was talking about X to which she replied yes.

I walked out, phoned him, gave him a piece of my mind and let him know he had been caught out. I then went back in and as gently as I could, told his ex about the whole thing. She ended it with him at that point too. I felt like I was in the middle of a soap drama! Luckily, there were no ill feelings between me and his ex, I hadn't deliberately set out to steal another womans man and was as apologetic as I could be. We did remain friends for a while after, she was a lovely lady and I never felt any guilt about telling her.

But what if I hadn't have eavesdropped that night?!

CharlotteBronteSaurus Mon 25-Feb-13 20:20:01

I was once on a morning peak-time train to a city about 150miles away. The train was delayed, and we missed our connection,which apparently happens so frequently that the train company already had taxis waiting for us to take us on to our final destination.

I was sat in the front of one cab. In the back were two lawyers from the defence team of a Very High Profile murder case. They just blathered on about medical reports, possible psychiatric defences, and the sum of all the other evidence. I was shock shock shock, and had to work very hard to look like I was concentrating on my paperwork.

SaggyOldClothCatpuss Mon 25-Feb-13 20:28:20

I was on a train going to work, when the 16yo ish girl in the seat behind started chatting to her friend about her boyfriend. They had regular sex, without contraception, and she didn't need to bother because she just didn't get pregnant. She was going to give him a blow job later! Then she said that she had had a fight with her mum!!! because she, the teen had been using to much wacky baccie in her joints!!
I was so shock that I missed my stop at Chelmsford, and found out I was on the express which went straight through to Stratford! I was seriously late for work! confused

In Magaluf at 3am outside our bedroom.

"Chloe, Chloe let me in, I have pissed myself three times"

erowid Mon 25-Feb-13 20:39:05

Overheard 2 teenage girls on the bus discussing their upcoming holiday...

girl 1: I can't wait till we go to Benidorm next week!

girl 2: I know, ahh Benidorm, the land of sun, sea, sand and syphilis! Its gonna be great!

HerrenaHarridan Mon 25-Feb-13 20:42:33

Saggy gringringrin

richardsimmonstanktop Mon 25-Feb-13 20:47:36

DP and I suffered a two-hour train journey sat adjacent from a loud posh man called Charlie Somers (not his real name). He was having some problems with some papers, something to do with the Canadian Embassy.

He kept calling different places and shouting "This is Charlie Somers. CHARLIE SOMERS, I need to get in touch with the embassy. THE EMBASSY. My number is blah blah blah. It is absolutely IMPERATIVE." He just kept on shouting and repeating his name and his number very rudely and loudly and everyone around him kept shooting him looks, which he was oblivious to.

I wonder if anyone else got drunk that night and called him up, pretending to be the Canadian Embassy?

SaggyOldClothCatpuss Mon 25-Feb-13 20:52:57

I'd have been tempted to text Charlie Summers and tell him to shut the fuck up! and then switch my phone off!

WhataMistakeaToMakea Mon 25-Feb-13 20:53:51

Was in bed (sleeping) with my DP of the time one night and heard his flat mate and a friend come back, the friend with a girl. They were laughing etc then flat mate went to bed.

I then heard a big scream and the girl saying 'what do you think I am, I wasn't brought up like that'. My DP went to check it out and said, she's just embarassed cause flatmate accidently walked in on her and the friend getting it on.

Anyway, went to sleep. I was woken up again half and hour later by moaning....this time from flatmates bedroom and it was the girl. From what I overheard, flatmate was underneath and friend was on top, she was very much enjoying herself in the middle.....hmmm so thats how mother brought her up?!

Crikeyblimey Mon 25-Feb-13 21:00:26

I once took part in a creative writing event thing (that for shame, I can't remember the name of). It was about overheard conversations. We spent a month "gathering" snippets of conversation and then wrote short stories based on what we'd overheard. It was great (my work was a bit rubbish but I really enjoyed it). Fantastic excuse to sit in coffee shops eavsdropping smile

richardsimmonstanktop Mon 25-Feb-13 21:09:13

"I'd have been tempted to text Charlie Summers and tell him to shut the fuck up! and then switch my phone off!"

I bet someone probably did! DP still remembers the phone number, which gives you some indication of how many times he said it.

FuntimeFuschia Mon 25-Feb-13 21:20:06

I was on a train a few years ago, and a bloke got on at Manchester Piccadilly. Absolutely steaming drunk and VERY LOUD talking on a mobile. He sat behind me and I soon picked up (as did everyone else on the train) that he'd been released from Strangeways earlier in the day and was now on his way home after several hours in the pub. He was discussing his stint in the greybar hotel with person on the phone, and at one point, extremely full of righteous indignation, that "they said I stabbed him, but I didn't, I just hit him with a brick!" The whole carriage gradually became quieter and quieter...

Another one, was sitting enjoying a nice drink in a beer garden on a warm summers eve with now DH, and a large group of loud, but generally amusing student lads arrived and proceeded to get hammered. We managed to phase out the noise until we heard this beauty: "Yeah, I'd like to fuck Fearne Cotton, and at the moment of climax stab her in the neck." At this point I turned round and gave them this look shock and to be fair he had the grace to blush and apologise.

muminthecity Mon 25-Feb-13 21:45:09

Walking around a busy London Sainsbury's once, I overheard a man discussing auto-erotic asphyxiation on the phone, with casual aplomb. I learned that his material of choice was a rope around the neck, as he liked the burn, and that the most exciting part was seeing how long you could go before passing out and having to be untied quickly. I was shock

Divinyl Mon 25-Feb-13 22:29:17

Another one from the Liverpool Street to Essex to Norfolk line...sadly I can't remember everything now, but it was a preposterous conversation between a 20s-ish city boy, apparently sober, and an older guy who had obviously bumped into him on an evening train. I recall that it started off with a fairly involved description of Younger Chap's activities and rise through the London Freemason ranks (not hugely likely but you never know). Then a small tangent insinuating that 'I get myself in some awkward situations sometimes with (pert young late teenage) girls', but the one I had to stop myself laughing out loud about was how he had been working hard on the bodybuilding and some oriental art of defence because he had been chosen to be a bodyguard to the Dalai Lama when he (the DL) was coming on a visit to the UK later that year. 'Yes,' said Younger Chap, entirely seriously, 'I'm living the dream.'

Schooldidi Mon 25-Feb-13 22:45:08

I overheard a break up in Morrisons a couple of weeks ago. The first time I passed the couple they were having a bit of a disagreement about what sort of cereal they wanted, then a couple of aisles later I passed them again just as she said 'but you've just told me you don't love me', then another couple of aisles and he was saying 'I didn't mean it like that but yes I think we do need to split up'. By the time they got to the checkout they had separate baskets sad What a conversation to have in the supermarket.

idococktailshedoesbeer Mon 25-Feb-13 23:06:32

A few years ago, I was sitting outside the pub when I spotted a familiar face at the next table, with a couple of male friends. She poured her heart out about her relationship with a married man and what a total shit he had proved to be. She had just won a BBC reality show I was a big fan of so I was riveted listening to her.

Ooo and I was with DP in NY two summers ago at the Standard Hotel, sitting outside again, when an actor rocked up and approached a young couple at the next table. He ended up leaving with the girl, who was blonde, v young and v skinny, leaving the bloke with a massive wad of cash.

I love listening to conversations, I'm far too nosey.

I've worked in a pub and a shop at the same time in a small village. I know everything.

deste Mon 25-Feb-13 23:21:32

At the gym was standing next to a girl on the phone. " so I'm going to have to ask you for money although I don't really like to but ex is driving up and down the street scaring the kids. I won't to into work tonight I'll just come up and give you a dance and if your friends want they can take photographs". The mind boggles.

deste Mon 25-Feb-13 23:23:21

BBC reality show, give us a clue, was it an Andrew Lloyd Webber one.

Overheard this very day in Aldi's, school chucking out time so kids descend for sugar boosting snacks.

3 of the tiniest Y7 boys I've seen, all loudly talking about bum sex hmm

When the slightly taller one said

" Ahh but early morning sex is the best, I love it when I've just woken up" I couldn't stifle my laughter any longer.

I gave them my best withering look and said equally loudly,

" oooh a right stud aren't you?"

<exit 3 young lads very rapidly>

Iheartpasties Mon 25-Feb-13 23:24:46

Back in 2010 I was sat near two girls, one girls brother was training intensively for a rowing event at the olympics! I wonder how he did?! It was quite amazing how dedicated he was, she was going on about it in quite some detail.

HandlebarTash Mon 25-Feb-13 23:27:07

I overheard a conversation between two of DH's female friends, where it became obvious that one of them fancies him. And hates me, naturally.

BegoniaBampot Mon 25-Feb-13 23:38:43

Was watching husband playing football for his works team at their sports grounds one weekend. Bunch of girls from work going on about xxx legs and phoaring etc. coughed behind them and said, 'do you mind, that's my husband!'
He does have nice legs!

MrsNPattz Tue 26-Feb-13 01:26:37

And he's wide awake blush

MrsNPattz Tue 26-Feb-13 01:27:10

Oops wrong post blush

ScumbagCollegeDropout Tue 26-Feb-13 01:29:04

Arf @ 'I have pissed myself 3 times!' grin

anonymosity Tue 26-Feb-13 01:39:43

Yes, several times. Though I would like to say that over-hearing your next door neighbour shout something in a row is not quite the same as listening to his conversation with a glass jammed against the wall. I think eaves-dropping would have to be done with the glass and "over-hearing" the other. Sometimes you can't but help hear things - even when you'd rather not!

GothAnneGeddes Tue 26-Feb-13 02:08:45

Mine is sad and looking back, I wish I'd said something:

Three girls on the train, many years ago discussing their friend's boyfriend and that he was so jealous, he set fire to all her going out clothes. sad

ripsishere Tue 26-Feb-13 05:14:40

That is sad Goth.
Mine was ludicrous rather than sad. DH is a teacher, at one point he taught some girls. At a school event, he was wearing a pair of linen shorts and a navy blue polo shirt. It did really suit him. Anyway, I was talking to one of his female colleagues alongside some students. Two of the students clearly had a crush on him, had he heard what they were saying he'd have blushed and then, a couple of hours later preened.
Me and S listened for a good five minutes to what girl one would do to him, girl 2 was more interested in going out for dinner and talking.
S coughed and said, 'girls do you know Mrs X? she's married to Mr X'

Contradictionincarnate Tue 26-Feb-13 05:30:24

I'm the best / worst eavesdropper ever I love it!!

erowid Tue 26-Feb-13 06:05:20

Sat in my tent at Glastonbury (best place for eavedropping imo) some random walks past...

"Right, lets go dancing... big box, little box, cardboard....... oh no wait, that's not right is it?"

zipzap Tue 26-Feb-13 10:49:14

I used to work at an IT consultancy that had grown reasonably big (1000+) and one of its most basic rules that they would throw you out for was don't discuss anything about work anywhere that you could be overheard.

This was because when the company was brand new (4 friends set up together) they had put in for a govt contract. Couple of days later, they were on the train and could hear people behind them talking - turns out it was the people who were responsible for giving out the contract they had applied for. They tuned in and listened hard, heard them discuss every bid that had been put in - tactics, prices, staffing, the works. They discovered that although the people had liked their contract, it was quite a big contract and they were at that point an unknown quantity so they didn't want to give them a big contract straight off, thought they would see if they could get them to do a couple of smaller ones to start with to see how they delivered.

Needless to say, they learnt loads that they wouldn't normally do about how their competitors worked, priced contracts, etc etc. Plus they immediately started to look for smaller contracts with the govt dept and were able to write fantastic bids with all the info they had picked up. They got some of these contracts, then delivered well so got bigger ones and ended up as a good sized consultancy. (even if they did get taken over merge with another similar consultancy after I left.

But they were so so hot on not talking about stuff out of the office because they knew that you never knew who was listening and how they would benefit!

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