To think people should not be shopping with children

(88 Posts)
Domjolly Sun 24-Feb-13 17:23:21

Went to 24 hour tesco on friday night it was about 1:30am and i was shocked how many people were doing a full shop with kids in tow

Not getting bit and bobs in aemegancey they had a full trolly full and the kids were ranging from about 4-11 and it was a few seprate familes

There is so circumstance i can think of were your children need to be up at 1:30am doing a full shop with you

these were not small bairs these were school age children shock

I totally understand the frazzled mum in a onsie grabbing some calpol after a bad night of high fever

But under what other senero should a child be up at 1:30 period let alone doung a weekly shop confused

No wonder teachers have a time of it with kids to blinking tired to work

MajaBiene Sun 24-Feb-13 17:25:01

If it was a Friday night they wouldn't have been going to school tomorrow.

If you were so curious, you should have asked them!

ThingsNeedToChange Sun 24-Feb-13 17:26:04

I don't think it's any of your business to be fair

BambieO Sun 24-Feb-13 17:26:27

Each to their own. Maybe they don't do it all the time or maybe they had no other childcare etc.

I don't know, I wouldn't personally as DS would be asleep but then you don't know all the circumstances.

Probably not hurting anyone other than themselves (if DC are tired etc) as its pretty dead at those times anyway

MrsLouisTheroux Sun 24-Feb-13 17:26:33

YANBU.

Euphemia Sun 24-Feb-13 17:26:50

End of half term, just back from holiday, doing shop?

Its really nothing to do with you. Dont be so judgy.

BambieO Sun 24-Feb-13 17:27:40

Ps sometimes in an emergency you do go to get one thing but then as you are there may as well get some other bits you need!

I've taken DS out at that time before, if he's refusing to sleep I may as well get something useful done rather than sitting at home tearing my hair out while he screams. At least in a supermarket he's distracted by all the lights and colours.

Tortington Sun 24-Feb-13 17:29:37

i think its perfectly fine to judge people

Domjolly Sun 24-Feb-13 17:31:33

What at 1;30am sorry MajaBiene i am pretty sure people who think taking kids out at 1:30 am to go shopping dont put there kids to be at a decent hour normally

If your already at a family do and you get caught out at a late hour what can you do but to take children out at that hour on perpous is just confused

Why are they not in bed


ThingsNeedToChange we could say that aout every post on mumsnet

Domjolly Sun 24-Feb-13 17:34:49

BambieO what a whole weekly shop perosnally if i ever gone out to get somthing in a emegancey i DONT STOP TO DO A WEEKLY shop i get what i need and rush back home


Those who keep say none of our beeswax have a biscuit because reallynothing anyone comments on is our beeswax its it by commenting on any thread we are amaking a judgement weather its weather a mum should smoke whilest pregnant or kick her oh out

"what a whole weekly shop perosnally if i ever gone out to get somthing in a emegancey i DONT STOP TO DO A WEEKLY shop i get what i need and rush back home "

Yes, but that's you.

Personally I figure if I'm out and at a supermarket I'd rather get everything I need rather than get a small amount and have to go out again anyway.

Ok so

AIBU?

YABU.

biscuit

You sound delightful.

NoelHeadbands Sun 24-Feb-13 17:41:54

I'm not bothered really.

However should those parents feed the children grapes that they haven't paid for yet, I will wish a whole world of pain on their asses

BambieO Sun 24-Feb-13 17:43:06

But how do you know what that particular families weekly shop constitutes?

Just because you wouldn't do something (and in this case I wouldn't either but that's here nor there) doesn't mean it's automatically wrong?

squeakytoy Sun 24-Feb-13 17:45:35

did it affect on your own personal shopping experience though?

grin

TheVermiciousKnid Sun 24-Feb-13 17:46:26

Here, have a nice calming mug of chamomile tea: brew

nannyof3 Sun 24-Feb-13 17:47:15

Give the OP a break!!!!!!!!

ThingummyBob Sun 24-Feb-13 17:47:28

I'm far more judgy over terrible spelling on the internet tbh wink

Tbh I've never felt the need to do a full shop at 1.30am either with, or without, the dcs. What sane person would be in a supermarket at that time of a Friday night instead of being out having fun grin

Domjolly Sun 24-Feb-13 17:48:07

BambieO i dont consider a whole trolly topped up to the top a few bits

I've done this. On my way home from holiday, stopped at the 24 hour supermarket and done a fairly big shop with the kids in tow.

Why on earth would you care?

"What sane person would be in a supermarket at that time of a Friday night instead of being out having fun "

Who said anything about being sane? grin

Serious answer though. It's quiet, and I hate people.

EnjoyResponsibly Sun 24-Feb-13 17:49:04

It does at least guarantee a Mother & Baby parking space I suppose.

I would have looked like this hmm but each to their own. You'd need to burn me with coals to make me go to a supermarket a) at 1am b) with kids of any age.

PurpleStorm Sun 24-Feb-13 17:50:18

I'm with the OP on this one - I'd be a bit hmm to see lots of kids in Tesco at 1:30am too. I'd be wondering why they weren't at home in bed fast asleep.

I wouldn't be bothered by seeing babies in pushchairs etc - DS's body clock was back to front until he was about 4 months old, and I'm sure other young babies are like that too - but older kids like the OP describes is a different case entirely.

Serious answer though. It's quiet, and I hate people.

grin grin grin

Me too.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 24-Feb-13 17:52:05

Operating do please but together a list of acceptable reasons and ways in which to behave for my future reference please.

PurpleBlossom Sun 24-Feb-13 17:54:35

I secretly judge those people too OP.

I mean yes they could have been up already with a screaming baby, or needed to drag their children out of bed for some emergency milk hmm but chances are that isn't the case.

Oh I also (pre DD) happily parked in CP bays because you shouldn't be shopping with children at 2am wink

BambieO Sun 24-Feb-13 17:55:40

But maybe the emergency was that they were having an all night children of the night party and the clowns and entertainers had run out of food and small animals to aacrifice? grin

Seriously, who knows and more to the point who cares why someone has taken their (emphasis on their) own children out shopping at what we would deem an ungodly hour.

I'm sure they have their reasons, I can think of other things to do at 1:30am sleep but everyone is different

Iteotwawki Sun 24-Feb-13 17:56:43

I've done a full shop at 1.30am with kids in tow. On more than one occasion, for different reasons (jet lag meaning we were all awake being the most recent).

During the school week they are in bed by 7, asleep by 8 and up at 6.30 for a proper breakfast.

YABU.

Rowlers Sun 24-Feb-13 17:57:20

1.30am?
Madness, IMO.
Can't think of many occasions when one really couldn't wait till the morning.

SoleSource Sun 24-Feb-13 17:59:45

You have no idea of their reasons so YABU.

Chiggers Sun 24-Feb-13 17:59:47

There's no school on a Saturday, so the DC could sleep in and catch up on lost sleep. The DC may have been so tired they needed a long nap in the afternoon, and so were unable to sleep later on. I know that I was so exhausted after school that I would fall asleep as soon as I went upstairs to my bedroom and I couldn't keep awake, despite getting a full night's sleep.

Maybe the nother took them at that time because they were awake and there was far fewer people to make nasty, unwarranted comments, AND there would be fewer people at the checkouts, so she could go, get her shopping and get out ASAP.

TBH, I don't see the problem. If she was initially out to get emergency supplies, then she may as well get the shopping while she was there anyway. It saves petrol having to go there and back again the next day. I would have done the same thing.

MrsDeVere Sun 24-Feb-13 18:00:03

I would wonder why on earth they were there.
But then my DCs are in bed by 7.30 because children should not be seen or heard after that time <laughs at my own optimism >

Shopping with DCs in a supermarket is horrible at the best of times but when they are tired and gringy? OMG NO!

I used to go at that time when DD was in hospital. I don't remember seeing any children apart from babies.

Its a bit of a con this 24 hour opening. Ok it it fairly empty but they only open two sodding checkouts so you end up queuing anyway hmm

usualsuspect Sun 24-Feb-13 18:02:26

Maybe the were Mnetters? doing it to see if anyone started a thread about them...

Chiggers Sun 24-Feb-13 18:02:32

mother not nother

mamalovesmojitos Sun 24-Feb-13 18:02:42

YANBU

Nanny0gg Sun 24-Feb-13 18:05:37

I'm happy to judge.
It won't do them any good to have such a late night, school or no school. It's called a sleeping 'pattern' for a reason.
They'll be beyond useless at school on Monday whether they sleep all day at the weekend or not (and I bet they don't).
Short of it being a stop-off on the way back from holiday I don't see the justification. (and even then I'd rather go back home).

And don't tell the OP off for judging. That's what 99% of the the threads are for on forums.

BeechAvenue Sun 24-Feb-13 18:07:50

grin usualsuspect. Is there a dares thread on here somewhere? MNetters challenging each other to bag tables in cafes and refuse to fold huge prams onto packed buses, then rushing back here to await judgement?

Suzieismyname Sun 24-Feb-13 18:10:45

coming back from holiday is the only sane reason I can think of. Children should be in bed at 1.30am.
YANBU

beatlegirl Sun 24-Feb-13 18:13:18

I'd judge too OP. Like a lot of threads on here, it's possible there are special circumstances, but it's more likely that there aren't.

I'm trying to think of a situation where I'd shop this late with kids. Back from holiday/kids ill and up anyway? Maybe. But not likely a full shop. I've also waited up until midnight for my wages to go in before, to nip out and get breakfast for the next day. But that would not require a full shop either.

BambieO Sun 24-Feb-13 18:13:23

Maybe they were all indeed coming back from holiday this changing the YANBU to a YABU? That's the thing no one knows!

Dogsmom Sun 24-Feb-13 18:15:19

I once sent my husband to Tesco to get me the latest Harry Potter book when it was released at midnight, apparently he was the only normally dressed adult man stood in a huge queue of kids dressed as wizards grin

BambieO Sun 24-Feb-13 18:16:13

Unless you see these children at 1:30am every week there is no way of knowing if there are special circumstances or not.

I do agree children need their sleep so I'm not siding with the moonlight shoppers but I just don't see how we can criticise without knowing why they are there?

BambieO Sun 24-Feb-13 18:16:42

dogsmum that is brilliant

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sun 24-Feb-13 18:17:11

I think it is bloody ridiculous taking kids out that time of night. So YANBU and all this crap about not judging people irritates the fuck out of me. We ALL judge people sometime or other about something. Some are more judgemental than others but we ALL judge / assess / sum up / evaluate.

ChewinTheFat Sun 24-Feb-13 18:23:10

Maybe to avoid massive crowds and people tutting at the kids getting in their way. People saying "why drag your kids round a supermarket on a busy Saturday". Canny win!

OrangeLily Sun 24-Feb-13 18:23:13

I posted pretty much the exact thread on the 23rd of December and got a bit of a roasting for being judgey.

I don't normally shop at that hour either but was awake because of pain so decided to get a bit to fix a Christmas present.

It wasn't just one family but several but evidently there was several good reasons why toddlers need to be in a 24hr supermarket at that that time.

But then the reason I was there because I was in pain and pacing the house was diving me nuts. So.... Who says the toddlers weren't in the same position??

DioneTheDiabolist Sun 24-Feb-13 18:23:49

YABU. I think all parents who have to take their DCs shopping should do so at stupid o'clock. That way I can do my shopping in peace.grin

jojane Sun 24-Feb-13 18:25:53

I must admit to being very judge the other day, popped into Tesco after work at about 11.30pm, couple were in there doing a full trolley shop with a 2 year oldish in tow, he was whining and the mum was saying I know your tired etc, I did think that one of them could have stayed home with te baby instead of dragging him out at that time of night!!

WestieMamma Sun 24-Feb-13 18:29:04

My daughter has AS and was never in bed before 3.00am. 4 hours sleep was the most she ever had and that was if I was very lucky. I spent the first 6 years fighting against it and trying to get her to bed a proper time. Then I gave up and went with the flow. I didn't drive so my dad would sometimes take us shopping on his way home from work. He finished at midnight. She's 19 now and still only sleeps for 3 or 4 hours per night.

Chiggers Sun 24-Feb-13 18:32:42

Nanny not all DC are next to useless in school when they go back.

One of DS's favourite shows is live at our local arena now and then. I would take DS and we wouldn't get back home until the wee hours (1-2am usually) and he gets up fine and dandy the next day. I have also seen him going to school bright and breezy on the Monday with DD and me collecting him to go to club. If he's tired, he will finish his homework and go to bed after tea, because he's sensible like that. DS has never been grumpy due to a late night. He is always grumpy and whingy when he hasn't had a late one and is in bed and sleeping by 8pm.

Lafaminute Sun 24-Feb-13 18:33:07

The majority of replies here are hmm why shouldn't op pass comment - as others have said these observations/comments make up most of mn. It seems like posters are looking for an opportunity to be cooler/better/less judgemental than others.

YANBU Op because it is hardly in any childs best interests to be in a supermarket at 1:30am, school night or not.

Bunbaker Sun 24-Feb-13 18:33:42

I must admit I would think it odd, but then you wouldn't see me in a supermarket at 1.30 am either.

I can only assume that the parent has no childcare or the husband/partner is the only one who can drive but isn't trusted to do the shopping himself. Perhaps the parents work shifts or they have just come back from holiday?

I still think it odd though.

Tailtwister Sun 24-Feb-13 18:33:53

It does seem a bit odd OP and I would be wondering about the circumstances myself, especially with the school age children.

Southeastdweller Sun 24-Feb-13 18:35:07

I used to think this also when I went to the Tesco in Hackney late at night and in the early hours. I don't see any good reasons for this at all.

Of course, if Waitrose were to open 24 hours then this type of thing would simply never, ever happen grin

OnwardBound Sun 24-Feb-13 18:59:28

I think all this judging is a bit weird tbh.

If the kids seemed happy enough and not grizzling or falling asleep on their feet really what is the problem? And I can't see how this would inconvenience other shoppers or Tesco staff (this being the time when I can understand raised eyebrows).

Maybe family had just returned from holiday in Australia and were jetlagged. Maybe children had been unwell and slept all day and were now wide awake.

And it was a Friday night at half term... so maybe it really didn't matter if children were a bit tired the next day.

SomethingOnce Sun 24-Feb-13 19:02:20

Maybe they all had jetlag after returning from exotic locations?

Pagwatch Sun 24-Feb-13 19:05:57

I think the possibility that they are heading home after a holiday is feasible

But tbh yes, if I saw several people inthe supermarket with a 4/6/8 year olds at 1.00 in the morning I would wonder in a slightly wtf way. One or o might have particular reasons. The rest are just a bit bizarre.

Why does half term make a child wandering around in the early hours of the morning fair enough?

I have done it on the way home from a night out where we'd stayed longer than intended and kids were awake, on the way home from holiday and once with all the girls in pj's in the middle of a sleepover. And they weren't even all my own children grin

So flame me.

FlouncingMintyy Sun 24-Feb-13 19:12:08

How strange! I have never been shopping beyond 6 in the evening so have never witnessed anything like this.

Where were you op?

Pagwatch Sun 24-Feb-13 19:13:45

Is there any flaming going on? confused

I am just reading some vague befuddlement at why lots of children would be out at 1.30.

Sorry Pag I was being flippant it didn't come across well

shushpenfold Sun 24-Feb-13 19:17:27

Have done this once with my 3....young at the time, but unfortunately all WIDE, WIDE, WIDE awake after a flight back from the USA....the time change had buggered up their body clocks.......

Don't see much of this sort of shabby parenting shenanigans in rural Dorset though grin

CremeEggScoffer Sun 24-Feb-13 19:17:27

a few weeks ago, I let my ds have a sleep in the afternoon, we got to 10pm and he wasn't remotely tired so I went to tesco and did my shopping, noone batted an eyelid, by the time I'd finished it was nearly 1130pm, so killed 2 birds with one stone, he crashed when we got in and I didn't have to drag him round the shops the next day win-win smile

don't judge until you know the circumstances

Pagwatch Sun 24-Feb-13 19:18:06

blush gawd - don't apologise.
I'm am being ponderous.
I am staring to wonder if it is Tesco - Gatwick branch.
grin

grin not in my case.

Although taking 4 over excited pre-teens, who were very giggly and on a sugar high from all the rubbish they'd eaten, out at silly o'clock wasn't perhaps the brightest idea I ever had grin

McNewPants2013 Sun 24-Feb-13 19:24:03

I wouldn't dream of taking DC out that time now, but any age before dd was born me and ds used to go shopping at crazy o'clock he was awake so I got shopping done in peace.

He still only sleeps around 4 hours and I have gotten used to never sleeping its only DD that stops us going now ( she loves her sleep)

everydayaschoolday Sun 24-Feb-13 19:39:01

OP YANBU

MamaBear17 Sun 24-Feb-13 19:40:17

I'm a judgy pants over people dragging their kids around supermarkets late a night too. I just think they should be in bed. A one off is fair enough, exceptional circumstances are fair enough. However, I hate seeing people screaming at tired, tantruming toddlers because they are dragging them around the supermarket when they should be in bed.

TartyMcTart Sun 24-Feb-13 19:50:57

Oh come on, yes there are the odd exceptions but I can guarantee that if I saw families in our local Tesco at 1.30am they wouldn't be jet lagged or popping in for emergency goods. The way you hear them screaming at their kids during the day whilst wearing their dressing gowns makes that quite obvious.

I judge a lot so flame me.

BambieO Sun 24-Feb-13 20:17:11

But how do we 'know' if it's a one off or not? Unless OP sees them every week we can't just presume can we? Give them the benefit of the doubt and assume they have all been off on exciting holidays while I have been stuck home counting snowflakes

tigerdriverII Sun 24-Feb-13 20:28:37

The thing I don't get is two parents plus kids, where everyone is bad tempered, as supermarket shopping is grim for everyone. I know there are times/circumstances when everyone needs to go to the shop but why doesn't one parent stay at home with the kids. Probably have read too many relationships threads but I sometimes think that someone is being controlling in those scenarios.

JockTamsonsBairns Sun 24-Feb-13 20:37:01

I can't understand this at all - where is all this happening, OP?

I've been a shift worker for 20 odd years, and have been doing my weekly shop in the middle of the night for over a decade, and I have never seen as much as one child in the supermarket at that time, ever. In that time I've lived in Glasgow, the North of England and now the South East, and I've just never seen such a thing.

All very strange.

BlahBlahBlahhh Sun 24-Feb-13 21:14:54

YANBU, no doubt there are odd situations where this may be acceptable...a baby that won't sleep, returning from a holiday, an emergency (doubtful if it necessitates a whole trolly load) but school holidays or not, it's bad parenting in any other circumstance in my opinion. I work nights and often see people out and about with little ones, late in the evening in the cold. They should be tucked up in bed, poor little mites.

littlemrssleepy Sun 24-Feb-13 21:20:02

A friend got some terrible looks when she took her little ones to the supermarket at 2am. They had just flown in from Oz and were all jet lagged smile.

Nombrechanger Sun 24-Feb-13 21:26:57

I agree completely with you, OP.

It's cruel to drag a child out at that time of night.

midastouch Sun 24-Feb-13 22:05:38

I dont think i could keep either of my DC awake to go shopping that time of the morning! At least it wasnt a school night i suppose

wiltingfast Sun 24-Feb-13 22:43:17

Sounds completely barmy to me. Can't think of any circumstance where I would do it. Even if you were just back from holidays would you not take kids home first and then one go back out to do a shop (if it's that bloody important)?

Barmy.

Learningtoread101 Sun 24-Feb-13 23:26:43

I'm with you OP. haven't read all the answers but I cannot believe people are meh about this! So what if it's not a school night? Bodyclocks will be screwed up. I get a bit upset if I see children out past 9pm.....

Tee2072 Mon 25-Feb-13 06:59:56

What I don't get is the "supermarket shopping is grim" thing. It is?

I would totally judge those parents though. I like judging: it, along with jumping to conclusions, is often the only exercise I get.

HorribleMother Mon 25-Feb-13 10:27:46

Go back this Friday & the one after to see if they are there again.

"What I don't get is the "supermarket shopping is grim" thing. It is?"

Not if you go at 1am grin

Catchingmockingbirds Mon 25-Feb-13 10:38:56

It is pretty strange, especially as it wasn't just one family you seen out with children at that time. My son has AS and can have issues with his sleep, but I still couldn't imagine taking him on the weekly shop at that time.

aufaniae Mon 25-Feb-13 10:40:17

OP, YABU. You have no idea why those people are there at that time.

I've been in supermarkets with DS (4yo) at ridiculous-O'clock, when we've been on long car journeys (e.g. South England to Scotland to visit the ILs).

DS sleeps when we're travelling at speed in a car, so if you see him awake in the supermarket at a silly hour, you can't tell by looking, but the chances are he'll have spent most of the day asleep and is in desperate need of a bit of exercise!

He's not at school yet but big for his age, so people usually assume he is. I imagine the small minded among them do judge.

I haven't done a full shop on the way back home from Scotland, but if DP wasn't knackered from the drive it might make sense to us to do. Might do it next time in fact grin

scaredbutexcited Mon 25-Feb-13 10:42:30

Unless it impacted you directly, I'm not sure that it affects you really. There are reasons why I think this would happen:
- Just back from Hols
- Can't sleep, go shopping to tire them out and then all lie in the next morning etc
In any case, Friday night so no impact on school.

Perhaps not a perfect scenario but then are you always perfect? (I know I'm not!) smile

PeazlyPops Mon 25-Feb-13 10:46:33

Just back from their holiday?

aufaniae Mon 25-Feb-13 11:19:30

"Go back this Friday & the one after to see if they are there again."

What's more dysfunctional, going to the supermarket with your DCs at 1:30am (possibly with good reason), or going to the supermarket at 1:30am to spy on people taking their DCs there so you can judge them?!

Seems clear to me! grin

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