to wish I was Scottish

(383 Posts)
kim147 Sun 24-Feb-13 13:59:31

Or French or Welsh

When they have such passionate anthems and sing them with soul and enthusiasm grin

AgentZigzag Sun 24-Feb-13 14:02:48

What nationality are you?

ChewinTheFat Sun 24-Feb-13 14:04:20

I'd go to a rugby match just to hear Flower of Scotland, gives me goosebumps everytime. Makes me feel all patriotic and to look at all the thighs

mum47 Sun 24-Feb-13 14:04:26

I am Scottish and not massively patriotic but I was fighting back tears watchin Flower of Scotland being sung there.

McNewPants2013 Sun 24-Feb-13 14:05:53

I am welsh and the national anthem took me months to learn.

Where are you from

kim147 Sun 24-Feb-13 14:07:50


Not religious and not a Monarchist.
But passionate about my country - but it needs a passionate anthem where you can let it out.

Pffft. Swing Low Sweet Chariot being belted out to drown out the Haka is the most awesome sound ever.

thefirstmrsrochester Sun 24-Feb-13 14:08:05

My youngest ds sang along word for word. He is 8.
<wipes proud tears>

aldiwhore Sun 24-Feb-13 14:08:24

I'm not one for my anthem.. I'm English and yes our national anthem doesn't mean a lot to me at all, however, I find many things to get patriotically passionate about.

Saying that, I don't really do sporting events that require anthems, so yes, it would be NICE if I were interested in Rugby/Footy etc. if, when we won (or before we started) the National Anthem made me feel something.

YANBU for anthem envy, YABU to wish you were another Nationality on the basis of shit theme tune.

kim147 Sun 24-Feb-13 14:09:06

I'd love to be from New Zealand.

FannyFifer Sun 24-Feb-13 14:10:17

England doesn't have a National Anthem that's the problem.

Cannae beat a chorus of flower of Scotland though. grin

YANBU, the English National anthem is shite, especially is you're a republican.

thefirstmrsrochester Sun 24-Feb-13 14:11:14

I love the Haka.

FannyFifer Sun 24-Feb-13 14:11:43

There isn't an English anthem, GSTQ is UK anthem.

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 14:12:34

I bloody hate Flower of Scotland even though I'm a Scot.

Mawkish drivel.

I'd like Caledonia sung by Frankie Miller as our anthem instead.

Or Highland Cathedral.

FannyFifer Sun 24-Feb-13 14:13:00

Proclaimers 500 miles. grin

HazeltheMcWitch Sun 24-Feb-13 14:15:03

Am with you, Salmo re the drivel that is Flowers of Scotland. But I'd go with Scotland the Brave: I can't listen to it without wanting to MARCH. grin

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 14:15:23

As stirring as 500 miles is its not about Scotland though.

So no.


LadyWidmerpool Sun 24-Feb-13 14:15:39

Scotland the Brave. THAT'S an anthem.

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 14:16:05

I'll allow Scotland the Brave.


kim147 Sun 24-Feb-13 14:16:12

fannyfifer Exactly - it's just so confusing. Have we actually got an English anthem?

I love La Marseillaise. This scene from Casablanca just wouldn't be the same with God save the Queen.

redlac Sun 24-Feb-13 14:16:15

Yes to Calendonia but it has to be the Frankie Miller version

FannyFifer Sun 24-Feb-13 14:16:37

But I liiiiiiiiiiiike it! [sulks]

Scotland the Brave definitely makes you want to march along.

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 14:16:56

<marches round living room>

redlac Sun 24-Feb-13 14:17:44

I can't take to Scotland the Brave due to the wee rude version I heard in primary school

here comes the highland granny
2 big tits and a hairy fanny

That pops into my head every time

FannyFifer Sun 24-Feb-13 14:18:26

Do yiz remember the rude words to Scotland the Brave? wink
Well rude when we were at Primary School.

cloutiedumpling Sun 24-Feb-13 14:18:43

The tune that we use for Highland Cathedral was written by Germans. I'd rather have something 500 miles too.

WildThong Sun 24-Feb-13 14:18:44

I like a bit of passion particularly when displayed by fit rugby players
Personally can't stand Flower of Scotland, dirgey bordering on racist shite.

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 14:19:10

<snorts out coffee>

Well really redlac!! shock grin

cloutiedumpling Sun 24-Feb-13 14:19:11

Argh. I'd rather have 500 miles too. I don't know where the "something" came from

HazeltheMcWitch Sun 24-Feb-13 14:19:44

You can still march to that verse, redlac, so it can remain.

You can march to La Marseillaise also, but it would be incy-wincy tippetty-tappy steps.

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 14:20:33

Yes, I know Highland Cathedral was written by Germans but, I DON'T CARE!


Sorry FannyFifer I thought that was so obvious that I didn't need to type out in full, 'the GB anthem that is played when England are being represented', I shall do so in future when not distracted by the rugby.

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 14:21:59

Sort of like swing dancing Hazel?

Moominsarehippos Sun 24-Feb-13 14:22:31

Someone has probably pointed this out already... But God Save the Queen isn't the English national anthem, is the UK one. Isn't Jerusalem the 'unoffician' english one? I'd rather it were Vindaloo or Always Loon on the Bright Side or Life. Or as Billy Connelly said, The Archers theme tune.

salemsparklys Sun 24-Feb-13 14:23:17

Love being scottish, not impressed with an english ref for this game, wouldnt think its fair to have a scottish ref at an english game either.

FannyFifer Sun 24-Feb-13 14:25:54

I would think the ref would be utterly professional & unbiased whatever his nationality.

Moominsarehippos Sun 24-Feb-13 14:26:10

You're not hinting at racism, surely! I thought he was south african. Or maybe that was the football. Something with blokes and balls anyway. I was just looking at the thighs anyway.

salemsparklys Sun 24-Feb-13 14:29:01

Been shown before that they arent, such is the way of the world

I agree, the ref wouldn't show bias.
In the unlikely event that they did, surely they would favour Scotland as England have already beaten them, so a Scottish win would be preferable for them?

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 14:35:46

Salmo I'm lolling that you think Flower of Scotland is mawkish while espousing Caledonia. Both mawkish in the extreme, but that's what's so great about being Scottish. We ARE mawkish, just a wee bit.

I'm reading a Rebus book at the moment. He goes to a club, the bouncer won't let him in and makes a sarky comment.

Rebus: I'm going to save that one for my book.
Bouncer: What's that then?
Rebus: "Fuds say the funniest things."

Mawkish and funny. That's Scotland.

Euphemia Sun 24-Feb-13 14:39:21

I can't abide Flower of Scotland: irrelevant, anti-English shite.

If we become independent, for the love of goodness please let's have a new anthem.

redlac Sun 24-Feb-13 14:40:10

fud is the best scottish insult - it's my favourite word

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 14:40:43

I disagree that Caledonia is mawkish.

It's mawkish to be overly sentimental about a flipping battle that happened hundreds of years ago but not mawkish to be homesick.

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 14:42:17

Caledonia does bring a tear to the eye.

As does hearing the word "fud".


kim147 Sun 24-Feb-13 14:42:56

At least your anthem actually mentions Scotland grin

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 14:43:18


<pats Mechanical soothingly>

Thumbwitch Sun 24-Feb-13 14:44:04

Please, what does fud mean? Not something I've come across before blush except as in Elmer Fudd, of course.

Has anyone else read the words to the whole of the Marseillaise? It even has a special children's verse, where the children vow to take up their parents' arms and continue the fight.

Arise children of the fatherland
The day of glory has arrived
Against us tyranny's
Bloody standard is raised
Listen to the sound in the fields
The howling of these fearsome soldiers
They are coming into our midst
To cut the throats of your sons and consorts

To arms citizens Form your battalions
March, march
Let impure blood
Water our furrows

What do they want this horde of slaves
Of traitors and conspiratorial kings?
For whom these vile chains
These long-prepared irons?
Frenchmen, for us, ah! What outrage
What methods must be taken?
It is us they dare plan
To return to the old slavery!

What! These foreign cohorts!
They would make laws in our courts!
What! These mercenary phalanxes
Would cut down our warrior sons
Good Lord! By chained hands
Our brow would yield under the yoke
The vile despots would have themselves be
The masters of destiny

Tremble, tyrants and traitors
The shame of all good men
Tremble! Your parricidal schemes
Will receive their just reward
Against you we are all soldiers
If they fall, our young heros
France will bear new ones
Ready to join the fight against you

Frenchmen, as magnanimous warriors
Bear or hold back your blows
Spare these sad victims
That they regret taking up arms against us
But not these bloody despots
These accomplices of Bouillé
All these tigers who pitilessly
Ripped out their mothers' wombs

We too shall enlist
When our elders' time has come
To add to the list of deeds
Inscribed upon their tombs
We are much less jealous of surviving them
Than of sharing their coffins
We shall have the sublime pride
Of avenging or joining them

Drive on sacred patriotism
Support our avenging arms
Liberty, cherished liberty
Join the struggle with your defenders
Under our flags, let victory
Hurry to your manly tone
So that in death your enemies
See your triumph and our glory!

Oops - I forgot to say, the last-but-one verse is the children's verse.

FannyFifer Sun 24-Feb-13 14:46:14

Disnae matter about the words, tis all about the tune you fud. wink

FannyFifer Sun 24-Feb-13 14:47:00

Fud = fanny

Thumbwitch Sun 24-Feb-13 14:47:21

Feck, that's a heck of a long national anthem! shock

Thumbwitch Sun 24-Feb-13 14:47:39

Thanks Fanny! grin

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 14:48:15

Thumbwitch - I had to google it. It's not common in these parts.

It means, ahem, the "c" word.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Feb-13 14:48:46

I'm not wildly keen on Flower of Scotland, I prefer Caledonia too, i'm Scottish BTW.
I think England should have Land of Hope and Glory or Jerusalem, both great anthems.
GSTQ is just a dirge.
My favourite is the Welsh one I have to say, though i don't have a Welsh bone in my body.
It sends shivers up my spine.


The second verse unaccompanied gets me every time! And it's true, those days are past now, but we can still rise and be an independent nation again!

Long, martial and a bit bombastic, I think, Thumbwitch!

The Irish gets me too at the "Ireland, iiiiiiiirrrrrreeeeeelllllaaaannnnnnddddd, together standing tall, shoulder to shoulder we answer Ireland's call"

FannyFifer Sun 24-Feb-13 14:52:23

Cunt can also be used as a term of endearment, in Fife anyway. grin

As in "he's a great cunt".

kim147 Sun 24-Feb-13 14:52:25

Well - it's got passion. And as fannyfifer says, it's the tune. You need to have passion and to belt it out.

"Marchons, marchons"

"Ireland, Ireland, together standing tall"


BrandNewRetro Sun 24-Feb-13 14:52:51

Anyone else from Holmfirth care to join me in a chorus of our anthem...

redlac Sun 24-Feb-13 14:53:31

Cunt can be a term of endearment here (Stirlingshire) too Fanny

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sun 24-Feb-13 14:53:33

If you're in the Millennium Stadium with the roof closed and hear the national anthem belted out, or Cwm Rhondda, I swear it's just like being in a cathedral. It's a nigh-on religious experience grin.

The Marseillaise isn't bad either. The bit towards the end where they to that "Ta daaaaah...!" bit after the quieter minor key bit makes me want to fling off my hat and yell "Vive la Republique!" despite clearly not being French.

Flower of Scotland is ok, but Scotland the Brave is better.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Feb-13 14:54:19

Oh and I agree about 500 Miles.
Maybe we should get the Proclaimers to tweak the words a bit.
I would love that as our national Anthem.

Aye, but youse lot over the water in fife are a bit strange eh, fanny! wink

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 14:57:53

It taks a lang spoon...

Saltire Sun 24-Feb-13 14:59:56

I love Flo'er O Scotland except when sung by tuneless drunks in pub. Although I will admit it is a bit of a dirge,a nd sounds far far better played on pipes and not by a brass band like they do at Twickenham

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 15:05:13

We say "cunt" as a term of endearment in Aberdeenshire too. The cunt's nae a bad cunt.

Jist a peety that neen o ye cunts kin unnerstan a word we're sayin, ken?

That's all part of the psychology though Saltire. It would be a cold day in hell when they would allow the pipes at twickenham! It needs to be sung with passion and gusto though, non of this warbling wonders like Katherine Jenkins or whatshername garret!

Far a boots dee yi bide in Aberdeenshire MT? Am a too see, bit DH is a teuchter fae farming stock!

lurkerspeaks Sun 24-Feb-13 15:08:38

Another Scot. Dislike the words to Flower of Scotland as I find them distasteful. Love being at Murrayfield (not today sad) when it is being sung.

I prefer Caledonia but I like the Dougie Maclean version. I don't think it would be a very rousing rugby song though...

SLSC is rubbish. I've never been to Twickenham though might sound better there than it does at Murrayfield.

Toonser! Bloody iPad disnae spik Doric!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sun 24-Feb-13 15:10:12

I met Dougie in a pub once <pointless anecdote>

OverlyYappy Sun 24-Feb-13 15:17:31

I love Auld Land Syne

Usually on when pissed and they play it the end of a family party and everyone stands in a circle (usually all pissed) holding hands with arms crossed jumping in (just to get in proper mess) and the poor couple celebrating in the middle completely mortified/delighted at the mess of a party they have created.

It's a bit like a Rugby scrum if ye ken wat a meen

It's aww gid fun tho

kim147 Sun 24-Feb-13 15:18:58

<runs off to Google translator and tries to remember Robbie Burns poems from school>


Waves to fellow fannyfifer , you fud wink

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 15:29:29

A toonser! Jings, crivens and help ma boab.

Ahm nae in teuchterland ony mair, but I am a teuchter. Fae the place that starts wi an H on the A96.

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 15:29:58

Far's yer man fae, Glaikit?

(Does not understand road signage)

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 15:34:39

Katie, we're isolated enough up there that there is only one place. Just not too keen on outing myself if anybody searches for the place name.

I teach in England now and the children love that I am Scottish.

"Miss, how do you say "yes" in Scotland?" "We say "aye"."

"Miss, how do you say "hello"?" "Aye aye."

"Miss, how do you say "3-D shape"?" "..."

Ah ha! Ken it fine lass!!

Dh is fae the place beginning with an E on the a90 wi links tae the broch an fishie!! And he says aye aye aye on the intake of breath that only a teuchter can do!!

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Sun 24-Feb-13 15:41:05

Well done Scots. A grand win, that!

OverlyYappy Sun 24-Feb-13 15:41:52

I like the AllBlacks Rugby dance, no idea what it s but it sounds so good

Hummady Hummady Hummady ho
Hummady Hummady Hummady Ha
woof woof waaaa

Obviously that is not the words but they are my words from memory

Ya dancer!!!! Mah erse was twitchin oer the rugby

I believe you mean the haka overly! It's a war dance! Sure as hell put the willies up me!

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 15:46:21

Oh aye, I ken far ye are quine.

My partner slates me regularly for goin "aye" on an intake of breath. I never even realised it was a thing til I went to England.

OverlyYappy Sun 24-Feb-13 15:50:22

I speak all mix mashed

I should say to the dog:


Go an lie doon
Go and lie down

I say

Go an lie down, I like to mix a bit, my sons like to point out my

Yeah I know
I should be saying
Aye a ken
Yes I know

Ma Dads favourit wud be aye as ma ma wood say he's lookin right broath

confused Soup??


As my mum would say he is looking like a big lad...

redlac Sun 24-Feb-13 15:51:04

Is is Dougie McLean version that was in the old beer advert? not Frankie Miller? What did Frankie Miller sing then?

BabyRoger Sun 24-Feb-13 15:55:21

I really like Flower of Scotland

I love Frankie Miller's caledonia. There was a great Tennents ad that featured it. I don't live in Scotland now and I get fair emotional at that song especially when pissed

You can't beat a bit of RunRig's Loch Lomond at the end of the night!

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 16:03:06

Yes, Frankie did the raspy, beer advert version.

Not that I don't like Dougies version - it is his song after all - but I just prefer Frankies voice.

Although I think he's dead now isn't he?


from the radio 2 folk awards bubblin like a feel I wiz!

Frankie a version

redlac Sun 24-Feb-13 16:19:30

I prefer Frankie version I think

Mehrida Sun 24-Feb-13 16:31:34

My English DH has been slowly learning the lingo over the last few years. He came home and called me a daft fud last week. I just about fell off the chair, and he then said he thought it was another word for eejit.

Not quite dear. And don't use it at the dinner table next time we're out for a family meal...

forgetmenots Sun 24-Feb-13 16:34:05

As a scot (and one who will be voting yes next year) I also hate flower of Scotland for the anti-English sentiment and would rather have A Man's A Man for A' That (if we can agree on the general sentiment rather than gender!)

GSTQ is even more anti-Scots in later verses, though, and we're meant to sing it proudly as a uk anthem hmm

If I were English I would want Jerusalem, it gives me goosebumps and I'm not religious - my favourite national anthem is the Welsh.

MissAnnersley Sun 24-Feb-13 16:40:26

I love A Man's a Man'. I think the sentiment behind it is fantastic.

I love Jerusalem and think it would be great for the English national anthem. However, it is religious so I am presuming there would be objections.

And god saving the queen isn't religious??

forgetmenots Sun 24-Feb-13 16:45:59

Can't help but think of Billy Connolly here - 'if the queen needs saving, well God's the very chap!'

MissAnnersley Sun 24-Feb-13 16:50:22

God Save the Queen is religious?? Who knew?? grin

I was just musing that changing it to a hymn might not go down well.

SingingSands Sun 24-Feb-13 16:52:36

I walked down the aisle to Highland Cathedral, had our wedding dance to 500 Miles, finished off in a huge circle to Loch Lomond and when we were drunk in the bar afterwards my brother got his guitar out and sang to us Caledonia. We married in a wee castle in Fintry, it was Scottish-tastic. grin

I had highland cathedral as I walked the plank down he aisle too! And let's get married played before I came in for a laugh!

I was just yanking yer chain miss!!

Billy Connelly suggests changing gstq to the theme from the archers!

Yumpty tumpty tumpty tum, yumpty tumpty tum tum!

thefirstmrsrochester Sun 24-Feb-13 17:28:48

glaikit your wedding match sounds amazing. Totally nicking it for dd when she gets married. She is only 13 right enough.
I love highland cathedral!
And yy to the national anthem being changed to the archers theme! Billy was spot on there.

CheerfulYank Sun 24-Feb-13 17:29:26

I like our anthem (The Star Spangled Banner). smile

I LOVE the haka. I got weirdly obsessed with it after seeing Whale Rider. We don't do much rugby here so I have to YouTube it.

Luckytwo Sun 24-Feb-13 17:29:38

I love Flower of Scotland when played as today in Murrayfield, with the pipers etc. And then when the second verse is sung with no music it sends tingles down my spine.

Also love Caledonia and Loch Lomond...

Always feel homesick when we win a match ( so not often then smile) - although that's twice in a month . We have lived in England now for 19 years, and were just considering retiring to the Shetland Islands last night after some wine....not sure the kids would like that though, but of an effort to come and see us .

kim147 Sun 24-Feb-13 17:31:32

cheerfulYank Boring fact - The Star Spangled banner tune is from an English drinking song. Interesting story about the lyrics as well.

And you've got a really patriotic country grin Arms on chest and everything when you sing it.

redlac Sun 24-Feb-13 17:33:16

I walked down the aisle to Let's Get Married smile

BeaWheesht Sun 24-Feb-13 17:35:49

I am Scottish but grew up in England. The patriotism is one of the reasons I stayed here after coming up for Uni when I was 19.

CheerfulYank Sun 24-Feb-13 17:40:15

Oh yes, hats off heads when the Banner comes on and all. smile

If we ever need a new one I think we should go with "AMERICA! FUCK YEAH!" from Team America: World Police. grin

Redlac, I nearly did, but my DDad asked me not to because he was a bit embarrassed by my obvious lack of taste in music!!

Cheerful, bet you sing it live though! No lip syncing like ms knowles (or is she mrs zee now?)

freerangeeggs Sun 24-Feb-13 19:00:24

My favourite bit in Flower of Scotland is this bit:

...and stood against them (against who?)
Proud Edward's army (wankers!)...

Words in brackets to be shouted.

I like Flower of Scotland. It's nice and bloody, like a good anthem should be. I hate that bit about 'land that is lost now' though, very frigging inspirational that is.

I also love Caledonia. A wee tear every time (living in London atm).


ithaka Sun 24-Feb-13 19:07:09

I think Jerusalem would be a great English anthem - so stirring and a great sentiment.

Yes, yes to 'A mans a man' for the Scottish anthem, love it:

'Ye see yon birkie, ca'd a lord,
Wha struts, an' stares, an' a' that;
Tho' hundreds worship at his word,
He's but a coof for a' that:
For a' that, an' a' that,
His ribband, star, an' a' that:
The man o' independent mind
He looks an' laughs at a' that'.

More of that sort of thing!

I also agree that a rousing chorus of La Marseilles makes me want to shout 'vive la France' - music can fair stir the emotions up.

thefirstmrsrochester Sun 24-Feb-13 19:09:43


PuddingWhine Sun 24-Feb-13 19:11:26

I know what you mean OP. I can't imagine being Englsih. It seems so vanilla!

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 19:15:07

Yes, A Man's a Man is great. I do think we have a sense of fairness in Scotland and a hefty deal of "meh" for authority/rich people.

Buddhastic Sun 24-Feb-13 19:18:51

Love Flower of Scotland particularly when sung at Murrayfield. Makes me greet every time grin

andubelievedthat Sun 24-Feb-13 19:20:00

me don" t like the Scottish anthem ,def .prefer F. Millar "Caledonia" , thou the sound of the "upside down cat "(bagpipes) can def.wring a tear from me !Along with Auld Lang Syne ,esp at time of year when everyone is wishing a reekin lum" for everyone else! He, (F.Miller) had a massive stroke a while back , don" t think he"s dead?

Euphemia Sun 24-Feb-13 19:33:55

We need something non-racist, non-sectarian, universal and timeless. Here's my suggestion:

Three Craws

Three craws sat upon a wa',
Sat upon a wa', sat upon a wa',
Three craws sat upon a wa',
On a cauld and frosty mornin'.

The first craw was greetin' for his maw,
Greetin' for his maw, greetin' for his maw,
The first craw was greetin' for his maw,
On a cauld and frosty mornin'.

The second craw fell and broke his jaw,
Fell and broke his jaw, fell and broke his jaw,
The second craw fell and broke his jaw,
On a cauld and frosty mornin'.

The third craw, couldnae flee at a',
Couldnae flee at a', couldnae flee at a',
The third craw, couldnae flee at a',
On a cauld and frosty mornin'.

The fourth craw, wisnae there at a',
Wisnae there at a', wisnae there at a',
The fourth craw, wisnae there at a',
On a cauld and frosty mornin'.

Euphemia Sun 24-Feb-13 19:34:35

Is it a bit sexist, though, that he's greetin' for his maw? confused

Euphemia Sun 24-Feb-13 19:35:34

Here's a good Mumsnet anthem:

O ye canna shove yer Granny aff a bus,
O ye canna shove yer Granny aff a bus,
O ye canna shove yer Granny
'Cos she's yer Mammy's Mammy
O ye canna shove yer Granny aff a bus.

Ye can shove yer ither Granny aff a bus.
Ye can shove yer ither Granny aff a bus.
Ye can shove yer ither Granny
'Cos she's yer Daddy's Mammy
Ye can shove yer ither Granny aff a bus.

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 19:35:35

A rousing sentiment, Euphemia.

<greets like a bairn>

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 19:39:27

We could always go for:-

Donald Whaurs Yer Troosers

Isn't it a bit of a worry that some people need telling not to shove their grannies off the bus? Is that not pretty much a societal norm?

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 19:45:32

I DEFINITELY never go round the house singing that in a ridiculous accent, Salmo.

Not me. NO WAY.

Oooooooh, Iiiiiii've JUST come doon fae the Isle o Skye...

Buddhastic Sun 24-Feb-13 19:45:57

Naw I vote for Euphemia. Beautiful name too, I'm one too.

roughtyping Sun 24-Feb-13 19:46:21

Oh I love Caledonia. Was teaching it to some p7s and welled up talking about what it all meant blush it's beautiful smile

roughtyping Sun 24-Feb-13 19:47:10

And to answer your question - no, YANBU grin

A good wedding always ends with Loch Lomond and running in and out of a circle out-of-time!

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 19:50:15

Good old Andy Stewart. Bless.

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 19:51:05

... Ahm no very big an' ahm awfy shy

Roughtyping, do you have sheet music for caledonia? I have a workplace choir and we would like to do it, but I can't get the music individually. Only in a book of 25 Dougie MacLean songs. And as lovely as they are, I'll never use any of the others.

In my case I wanted to shove my mammie's mammie aff the bus but nae my daddie's mammie. For ds he can quite happily shove his daddie's mammie aff a bus. I fact, I'll give him a hand!!

roughtyping Sun 24-Feb-13 19:52:56

Glaikit I googled and found some free piano sheet music. On phone, think it's saved on my computer at work.

SconeRhymesWithGone Sun 24-Feb-13 19:55:32

This whole question was actually an item of discussion here in Florida recently. DH and I attended a Highland Games and Scottish Festival. At the opening ceremony, the honor guard marched in with the flags of the US, Canada, the UK, and Scotland. Then an opera singer came out and sang the Canadian anthem (one of my favorites, by the way), GSTQ, and then the Star Spangled Banner (which you almost have to be an opera singer to sing, but that's a discussion for another day). And that was it. Why have the Saltire if you are not going to have a song for Scotland? And it was a Scottish festival. It just felt wrong. (To be fair, the massed bands did play Scotland the Brave later.)

leonardofquirm Sun 24-Feb-13 19:57:41

I don't mind flower of Scotland.

When's the bit when we get to start taking about tablet and white pudding suppers and make folk really homesick?

You must be better at googling than me! I got the lyrics with guitar chords which I can work from to start with, but I need to write the harmonies too! I need something to start from! I may be out of my depth with this one, but I'll give it a go!

Salmotrutta Sun 24-Feb-13 20:02:40

Tablet is vile.

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 20:04:23

I love tablet.

My parents had a mealy pudding this weekend (booooak).

What I miss most (except being able to jist spik normally) is butteries.

SALMOTRUTTA wash your keyboard and typing fingers with soap! How can you not like tablet???

JollyYellowGiant Sun 24-Feb-13 20:05:07

Scots Wha Hae is always good to hear.

Caledonia is best though smile

JollyYellowGiant Sun 24-Feb-13 20:05:51

Mealy pudding supper is my chip supper of choice smile

Mechanicaltheatre, I have taken home a stash to freeze this weekend! Aitkens crispy ones! We are only in the central belt but you can't get them here! Mum sends aid packages sometimes!

Bonnie lass o fyvie is a good one for a sing song!!

redlac Sun 24-Feb-13 20:09:53

Irn Bru
Galloway Cheese
Roll and Square Sausage
Black Pudding supper
Macaroni Pie

But the one thing that I wish they would bring back is Creamola Foam - gutted that they can't find the original recipe

kim147 Sun 24-Feb-13 20:12:02

Well this thread seems to have gone in a different way to the OP grin

Just setting out our case to be Scottish! Come north of the border Kim! You will be very welcome!!

Lorelilee Sun 24-Feb-13 20:16:07

Did you hear about the skydiver who had a sex change mid air?

He came back down tae earth wae a fud!

p.s. I LOVE Flower of Scotland. I believe it was voted the best national anthem in a poll a couple of years ago.

They can't recreate Cremona foam because it contained additives that are now banned in 99% of countries and in the remaining 1% use them in weapons of mass destruction!

Euphemia Sun 24-Feb-13 20:17:34

He came back down tae earth wae a fud grin


MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 20:18:59

Macaroni PIIIIEEEE, the best. Our bakers used to do a baked bean pie as well, that was amazing. How can you make any food better? Put it in a pie. It's the NE way.

I lived in Glasgow for years Glaikit, nae a buttery in sight. Bastarts. How I miss my childhood of Coffee and Buttery mornings. Sigh.

SconeRhymesWithGone Sun 24-Feb-13 20:20:01

Oh, I love Bonnie Lass O Fyvie. I have a Corries CD with it in my car; I often come into work singing about pretty Peggy O. (Might have some shortcomings as a national anthem though.)

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 20:21:12

Lol at lore .

Cremola Foam was ace, but yes, suspiciously foamy.

amck5700 Sun 24-Feb-13 20:34:43

Best version of Caledonia I have heard is by a wee English Lassie cried Ruth Notman smile

BegoniaBampot Sun 24-Feb-13 20:35:24

The English anthem should be Jerusalem. I'm Scottish but love, love, love Jerusalem.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Feb-13 20:36:48

I bought some CremolaFoam a few months ago at one of those Retro fairs at the village hall.
It was expensive and tasted like shit.
Ds17 was not impressed.
I was brought up with the Corries, Scone, for folk music they did do some beautiful stuff.

amck5700 Sun 24-Feb-13 20:37:28

My brother and I made our own cremola foam using squash and Andrews liver salts.....we must have gone through a whole tin one day. Think my mum was cleaning the toilet for a week!

redlac Sun 24-Feb-13 20:38:45

Maybe if independence happens wee Eck will change the rules and allow the additives so we can have Creamola foam back!

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 24-Feb-13 20:39:34

Jerusalem would be a fab anthem for England.

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 20:40:05

We need a Scottish clique on here. There's loads of us!

amck5700 Sun 24-Feb-13 20:40:15

I'd like additives back - I'd like to add my footprint to that wee nyaffs arse grin

I can't remember the name of the song, its a corries one that gets longer and longer adding an extra line to the verse each time.
So it finishes something like,
Egg in the nest, nest on a branch, branch on a limb, limb on a tree, tree in a bog and the bog doon in the valley oh!

Ah happy childhood memories dancing up and down the living room with my dad to the corries!

BegoniaBampot Sun 24-Feb-13 20:50:40

I pined for creamola foam as a young snapper, also angel delight. We never every got it at home and I desired it so.

What is a buttery, and where can I get one to try?

SconeRhymesWithGone Sun 24-Feb-13 20:58:36


The Rattlin Bog?

Euphemia Sun 24-Feb-13 20:59:39

A buttery is like a very salty croissant, squashed into the shape of a roll. Where do you live, SDT?

Near Paisley, Euphemia.

SDTG a buttery (or rowie) is a little piece of heaven available only in aberdeen city and shire! At our next meet up I shall bring you one from my freezer stash!

The ingredients are exactly the same as a croissant only butter is replaced with lard!

Glaikit - you are an angel, a paragon, nay, a saint, and I will love you forever.

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 21:04:04

The Tesco in Glasgow city centre (the one on Argyle St near M&S) used to do butteries.

A peer excuse for a buttery, but a buttery nonetheless.

That's it Scone! Rattling bog!!

You can sometimes get butteries down here, but IMHO they are what Glaswegians think a buttry should be!

Euphemia Sun 24-Feb-13 21:05:39

You could try Aulds, SDT, or any wee old-fashioned bakers.

HazeltheMcWitch Sun 24-Feb-13 21:07:07

Corries' Rattling Bog to bring back those folksy memories

HappyGirlNow Sun 24-Feb-13 21:07:46

Just noticed this thread! Brilliant! Love being scottish - in Fife now, previously Lanarkshire, the word cunt was a term of endearment in both.. And I would have Caledonia as my anthem..

Aulds (if its the same as the one in Livingston) do not do good butteries.

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 21:14:41

A weegie widnae ken a decent buttery if it came up the Clyde on a banana boat.

A weegie once said to me "you sheep shaggers, you're that dour you've to poke ye wi a stick to mak sure yer aye livin."

I was young and stunned into silence and did not know the way of weegie banter. Clearly the correct response was "aye, yer maw."

Euphemia Sun 24-Feb-13 21:18:47

Yer maw! grin

JollyYellowGiant Sun 24-Feb-13 21:24:05

Mechanical I live in a village with a very small name. Nae far at a fae far you're fae.

JennyPiccolo Sun 24-Feb-13 21:29:05

'Wurzel gummage, he's some cunt! Different heids!' A guy in fife who thought wurzel gummage was a real guy. And a good example of the word 'cunt' as a term of endearment.

R.e. Caledonia as national anthem, I was thinking the other day: David Cameron's white paper on independence asserts that at the point of union, Scotland, legally speaking, ceased to exist and was actually swallowed by an enlarged mutant England.
Does this mean, that technically, if we were to vote for independence, we could call the country any damn thing we wanted? For example, being officially recognised as Caledonia would have tremendous scope for national anthem. Or the Democratic Republic of Bawbags or something.

JennyPiccolo Sun 24-Feb-13 21:30:18

It didn't say 'mutant' btw, I added that bit.

Arf! Democratic republic of bawbags!

AlwaysReadyForABlether Sun 24-Feb-13 21:32:25

Briliant thread - makes me feel quite homesick and I still live in Scotland!
I went to college in Aberdeen - hated my course but lived the butteries!

MissAnnersley Sun 24-Feb-13 21:34:38

I love the Democratic Republic of Bawbags.

MechanicalTheatre Sun 24-Feb-13 21:35:40

Jenny, LOL! Love it.

Jolly, in that case we probably know each other! How old are you?

CatsRule Sun 24-Feb-13 22:56:07

I haven't read all your replies but I do agree with an earlier poster who said Highland Cathedral would be a good Scottish anthem.

I'm scottish and I don't mind Flower of Scotland but I find most scots don't actually know the words.....oh flower of Scotland, dada dada, dada usually what we hear lol

I also like the Haka, live watching it.

seb1 Sun 24-Feb-13 23:14:06

What about

(Adam MacNaughton)

I`m a skyscraper wean, I live on the nineteenth flair,
But I`m no gaun oot to play ony mair,
Since we moved to Castlemilk, I`m wasting away,
`Cause I`m getting one less meal every day.

O ye cannae fling pieces oot a twenty-story flat,
Seven-hundred hungry weans will testify to that,
If it`s butter, cheese or jeely, if the breid is plain or pan,
The odds against it reaching earth and ninety-nine to one.

On the first day my maw flung out a piece o` Hovis brown.
It came skyting oot the winda and went up insteid o` doon,
But every twenty-seven hours it comes back into sight,
`Cause my piece went into orbit and became a satellite.

One the second day my maw flung me a piece oot once again.
It went and hit the pilot in a fast, low-flying plane.
He scraped it off his goggles, shouting through the intercom:
`The Clydeside Reds have got me wi` a breid-and-jeely bomb!`

One the third day my maw thought she would try another throw.
The Salvation Army band was staunin` doon below.
`ONWARD, CHRISTIAN SOLDIERS` was the piece they should have played,
But the oompah-man was playing a piece-on-marmalade.

We`ve wrote away tae Oxfam to try and get some aid,
And a` the weans in Castlemilk have formed a ``Piece`` brigade;
We`re going to march to George`s Square, demanding civil rights,
Like `Nae Mair Hooses Over Piece-Flinging Height!`

jcscot Mon 25-Feb-13 00:18:38

I tried to teach my very very proper English husband the Jeely Piece Song - hilarious fail at saying "seven hunner hungry weans".

I miss butteries too - I live in deepest darkest Lanarkshire but I went to Aberdeen Uni and lived there for eight years.

CheerfulYank Mon 25-Feb-13 04:41:04

We say "yer ma" in America!

I want to come visit all of you. sad

What's tablet?

leonardofquirm Mon 25-Feb-13 06:39:06

Tablet is sort of like harder more crystalline fudge I guess. It tastes nicer (imo) and has a melt in the mouth texture. <drools a bit>

It is made with condensed milk and lots of sugar.

leonardofquirm Mon 25-Feb-13 06:39:28

Its kind of crumbly.

JollyYellowGiant Mon 25-Feb-13 07:15:30

My mum makes wonderful tablet. I like it when it's not too hard.

Mechanical, I'm a recent incomer to our village, having spent most of my life in the city, but my extended family are from all over the North East. We'd probably have mutual friends on facebook though. I'm 27 but a lot of the mums I know are a wee bit older than me.

OverlyYappy Mon 25-Feb-13 07:47:00

I love Tablet - I canny make it cos ye huv ti git the temp oan the cooker to a really high point which I seem to be scared of grin

I miss cremola foam, fizz in a cup!

JollyYellowGiant Mon 25-Feb-13 08:01:03

My mum got a sugar thermometer a few years ago and it has made a huge difference to the quality of her tablet.

weegiemum Mon 25-Feb-13 08:28:40

Another Scot here, from the east but probably permanently settled in Weegieland now. We love the jeely piece song as we can see the remaining Castlemilk high flats from our road.

Apparently when 'Angel's Share' went to the BBFC for classification, they were going to give it an 18 cert, and would only be given a 15 if there weren't so many usages of the word 'cunt'. Ken Loach tried to explain that in Glasgow "ya wee cunt" is a term of endearment, but they weren't having it!

My mum makes a fudge recipe that doesn't have condensed milk in it, but still turns out with the melt-in-the-mouth, crystalline texture of tablet. It is gorgeous - especially the chocolate and the coffee varieties. I was so used to this as fudge that the soft, chewy stuff seems like an abomination. Oh - and our local post office sells ginger tablet, with little bits of stem ginger in it - to die for.

Ds2 is off to Aberdeen university in the autumn - I will get him to bring care-packages of proper butteries home!

Aw is he SDTG! It's a great student city! It needs to be aitkens rolls he gets, they are the original and best! Is he staying in halls?

Yes - he hopes to be in the halls right next to the university itself, which is presumably handy for the city centre too. I will tell him about Aitkins butteries, and make sure he knows to bring them home for me!

jcscot Mon 25-Feb-13 14:43:27

"Ds2 is off to Aberdeen university in the autumn"

I have very fond memories of Johnstone Halls and the butteries sold in Chalmers Bakery in the High St. And very fond (but oh-so-slightly-fuzzy) memories of the Machar Bar and the Bobbin Mill.

Old Aberdeen has changed so much - I was there last summer as the husband and I attended the OTC centenary celebrations - but it was lovely to walk around and reminisce.

seeker Mon 25-Feb-13 14:46:05

Has anyone pointed out that Flower of Scotland isn't actually Scotland's National Anthem?

That dubious honour belongs to a particularly grim dirge called Scots Wa'hay.

Ah the bobbin! Fab place!

JollyYellowGiant Mon 25-Feb-13 14:50:12

I haven't been in the Bobbin in years. Good food there but it is often very busy.

mum47 Mon 25-Feb-13 15:19:28

Ah Glaikit, we used to live in Aberdeen, and heard my official favourite sentence ever there said by someone at the hospital - you will ken fit it means --

"Fit di dee deeo?"

Aye aye min! grin

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 15:53:52

He didnae dee didee?

OverlyYappy Mon 25-Feb-13 16:08:55

This thread is getting tricky as Aberdeen put the f in front of words grin

We say whit Aberdeen says 'fit'

Instead of 'he' around here is it erm.. how to put it in words confused

eh ?

Oh eh didna dee did eh? You have to say the eh with enthusisam though

Then if you don't hear something it's

Ih rather than eh?

It's a whole new language.


jcscot Mon 25-Feb-13 16:15:14

Seeker, the official anthem is Scotland the Brave, not Scots Wha' Hae. However, it's been a long time since I heard anything other than Flower if Scotland played at official occasions.

It's Scotland the brave at the commonwealth games,.

ComposHat Mon 25-Feb-13 16:22:58

Yes I always hear 'Here comes the highland Granny' when Scotland the Brave is played.

I don't like FLower of Scotland much, bit of a dirge in my opinion, but infinitely better than God Save the Queen, which is beyond dire.

England doesn't have an anthem as such. It should have one and it should be be Jerusalem!

My favourite verse from the corries Scotland the brave!

Land o' the Kilt and Sporran -
Underneath, there's nothin' worn!
How I wish the wind was warm! Scotland the Brave.
I must admit it's pretty gruesome,
Walking about wi' your frozen twosome!
It's all we've got - we musn't lose 'em - Scotland the Brave

jcscot Mon 25-Feb-13 17:49:11

As heard in an Aberdonian shoe shop -

"Fit fit fits fit fit?"

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 17:59:25

Now here's something funny.

When I'm speaking Doric, I say "fit, fan, faa etc." but when I'm speaking English I say "WHat, WHen" and properly pronounce the "WH" as like "fw".

OverlyYappy, totally with you on the "he" thing.

My favourite word in Doric atm is "coorse" as in "it's a coorse win" or "it's affa coorse oot the day" or "the road's are coorse". Oh and "peeroch". Never found a better word than "peeroch" in English.

JollyYellowGiant Mon 25-Feb-13 18:01:12

Mine is Bosie smile

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 18:03:01

See, we never use bosie in our house.

Bosie here too, they dinnae ken fit a Bosie is doon here

Second favourite is baffies!

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 18:06:00

I like pooch as well.

And I really like the construction "fitten big/fat/clever she's gettin" - so much nicer than "she is getting big".

Thinking about it, that must come from German, because that's exactly how they'd phrase it too.

jcscot Mon 25-Feb-13 18:06:26

My favourite Scots words are dreich, gallus, eejit, scunnert and pochle.

OverlyYappy Mon 25-Feb-13 18:08:03

Dus ivrybodyn huv a Bosie ? or dae ye huv te be speshull ?

That was tricky! Much easier speaking slang than typing it imo

There is quite a bit of Norse in Doric, coming from the Vikings I suppose!

OverlyYappy Mon 25-Feb-13 18:10:20

I use eejit and baltic quite often. This year Baltic is a word most used to myself, freezing just isn't the same.

amck5700 Mon 25-Feb-13 18:21:08

Mockit, Drookit, Lowpin, Coupon, Glaikit.

weegiemum Mon 25-Feb-13 18:23:37

eejit, scunnered, glakit dreich, the morn's morn, ben the hoose, baffies (slippers), condie (a drain in the road). Some of these outing my Perth origins.

Funniest thing I've come across recently is from my kids. We're in Glasgow, dc go to the Gaelic school (following years in Gaeldom, the Outer Hebrides). They text, a lot! As all dc do. But between themselves, they never use "OMG". They use "OMC". Means " O mo creach" - oh deary me!

amck5700 Mon 25-Feb-13 18:24:08

and Hackit - especially used with Coupon, e.g. Thon Wifey his a Hackit Coupon.

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 18:25:24

O mo creach! Love it.

We say "losh be here!"

weegiemum Mon 25-Feb-13 18:28:35

I might start using O mo creach on MN in a spirit of incusion!!

ComposHat Mon 25-Feb-13 18:35:42

Reminds me of Stanley Baxter's Parliamo Glasgow

I am very fond of shoogly.

cloutiedumpling Mon 25-Feb-13 18:37:27

My kids heard me saying "haufin" the other day and I had to explain it to them. I just can't think of an English equivalent. Oh, and baufin as well.

ComposHat Mon 25-Feb-13 18:40:05

I am quite partial to 'away and shite'

Bowkin similar to boak!

Awa an shite

AlwaysReadyForABlether Mon 25-Feb-13 18:50:36

I didn't realise that baltic was a Scottish term. I don't think I have a particularly strong accent but I use a lot of these words without even thinking about it. I wonder if my English colleagues have any idea what I'm on about.

OverlyYappy Mon 25-Feb-13 19:03:52

I just googled baltic to check, it's Scottish slang right up there with minger/mingin grin

Moominsarehippos Mon 25-Feb-13 19:04:52

Hawd yer wheesht
Away an... Loss yersel, chase yerself, bile yer heed...

All good stuff.

Oh and dad used to refer to braces as galluses.

I see your galluses and raise you waldies (Wellies) and semmit (vest)

OverlyYappy Mon 25-Feb-13 19:12:02

My Dad speak exactly like that Moomin

Everything is

Auch away....

Auch aye fuckin phrrrtppp uve herd ih aww noo...(In disgust at me)
If you ask my Dad about me, he will say

'she speaks FALSE'

Moominsarehippos Mon 25-Feb-13 19:14:05

Anyone know verse two of 'ye canny shove yer granny oaf the bus'? I'm sure there are several.

Not forgetting;
Ali bali ali bali bee
If it wasnae fur yer wellies, where would you be? (DS knows this one). Wasn't that a Billy Connelly?

Oh they don't write them like that any more.

JollyYellowGiant Mon 25-Feb-13 19:17:05

DS has lugs and oxters.

I bet very few of you know what dookers are.

If you look up singing kettle on YouTube you get some extra verses for "ye canna shove yer granny" smile

OverlyYappy Mon 25-Feb-13 19:19:23

YEah canny shove yer granny oaf the bus
YEah canny shove yer granny oaf the bus
Yeh canny shove yer granny cos she's yur mammies mammie
Yeh canny shove yer granny oaf the bus

Oh... end of grin

Does anyone know the Hole-a-day one ?

I cannot type it blush

I went my hol...... ?

OverlyYappy Mon 25-Feb-13 19:21:00

Ali bali ali bali bee
sittin on ma mammys knee
Waiting for a wee bo-bee blush A what?
To buy some sugur candy

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 19:22:22

waldie beets and dookers!

shoogly is a great word. And rid-up, as in "fit a rid-up!"

JollyYellowGiant Mon 25-Feb-13 19:23:20

A "wee bawbee", yappy. A small penny smile

JollyYellowGiant Mon 25-Feb-13 19:24:12

And stot. The Ba's stottin a Oor the hoose.

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 19:24:59

And "fit's adee?" - it sounds so much nicer to me than "what's wrong?"

Reminds me of my mum being nice to me if I was crying "ah, fit's adee quine?"

I'm still the quine at hame! "Mam! The quine's on the phone!"

With that weird doric "the". "ih quine!"

OverlyYappy Mon 25-Feb-13 19:25:30

Oh good I thought I had my words wrong just my spelling. I cannot type Scottish except the basic ones.

Is a 'square go' a Scottish phrase as in a fight? We were always have square goes when younger.

It was always a "wee bawbee, to buy some culters candy" I always presumed it related to culter the place out the north deeside road. Maybe not!

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 19:28:41

Ha ha, aye, a square go.

"Fuckin square go, pal." I'd say it's more central belt.

OverlyYappy Mon 25-Feb-13 19:31:47

That's it culters candy... I knew I had some words missing.

My Ds2 latest is

Mone then? Not even Come one then, just 'Mone then'? If I do anything and he wants a reaction.

I'm still trying to talk it out of him but he spend a lot of time with my Dad and brothers.

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 19:32:47

His aabody seen "Nae Mince in Moray" by the ChielMeister?


Aye maaks me laugh.

Moominsarehippos Mon 25-Feb-13 19:35:57

Couters' Candy. It was a trade make, or so I was told. Can't beat McCowan's toffee though.

amck5700 Mon 25-Feb-13 19:38:14

It's Coulter's Candy - Coulter being the people who made it - the brand name.

Hilarious Flying Pigs sketch about an Aberdeen mannie phoning an English call centre.

Ah coulters! We always sang culters (cooters) because it was a village along the road!!

JennyPiccolo Mon 25-Feb-13 19:43:56

LOVE OMC. That's getting bumped.

OverlyYappy Mon 25-Feb-13 19:44:44

Yes, to get some Coulters Candy... I have no idea who sang this to me as my Mum is English, wasn't my Dad....I remember singing it to my dolls.

AlwaysReadyForABlether Mon 25-Feb-13 19:53:47

What about

3 craws sittin on a waa
Sittin on a waa
Sittin on a waa aa aa aa

Can't remember the rest

Lorelilee Mon 25-Feb-13 20:00:14

Anyone else love/use the world 'bampot'? I've re-discovered it lately and use it whenever I can.

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 20:02:26

bampot and tube

BegoniaBampot Mon 25-Feb-13 20:04:24

Did someone call ?

Now clatty is a good no nonssense word.

Moominsarehippos Mon 25-Feb-13 20:07:22

...On the first day of November

The first craw wa greetin' fa its maw, greeting fa its maw, greeting faw its maaaaaaaa, the first craw was greetin' fa its ma, on the first day of November

The second craw...
Can't remember the rest da da da da da, da da da da daaaaaa

The last craw, cudnea craw at aw, codnae craw at aw, cudnaw craw at awwwwwwwwww etc.

Lorelilee Mon 25-Feb-13 20:30:13

Begonia, you are my new hero :D!

Clatty is great and SO apt!

Getting all Glaswegian now, but LOVE the phrases 'wide-o' and 'ya rocket'.

jcscot Mon 25-Feb-13 20:35:21

Seeing as we're talking about words and language. My mother sent me a copy of this poem when we were living in Surrey and I've loved it ever since.

BegoniaBampot Mon 25-Feb-13 20:35:54

Always thought Clattypats was such a great name for a nightclub. Is it still on the go?

Lorelilee Mon 25-Feb-13 20:47:00

Think so, yes (am not actually from Glasgow).

jcscot Mon 25-Feb-13 20:49:50

I thought it shut in the early 2000's - unless it's been revived since.

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 20:50:17

I thought Clatty Pats closed down around 2006?

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 20:52:15

It was definitely still going in 2004, I was there, lived just down the road from it.

Lorelilee Mon 25-Feb-13 20:58:15

Hmm, am prepared to be corrected. Have heard a couple of the girls in the orifice talking about it and thought it must still be open. Sorry!

forgetmenots Mon 25-Feb-13 21:05:00

Naw, Clatty Pats is Viper now. Shut a few years back.

OverlyYappy Mon 25-Feb-13 21:07:23

I say

Oh ya fucker a lot but in my head. It's more Oh ya fucka, terrible language, AGAIN my father he thinks it's fine to shout this in the street when talking to old friends blush

Aye ya cunt eehs (he) no fucking daen tha-ah noo ya cunt, he alwiz doon it the fuckin pub!, nivier wurked a day in is fuckin life, woodny ken the fuckin daylight the lazy cunt, ayee ah ken al tell yeh ayeeee fuck

Add a few more swear words and you have my Dad. Give him a drink and it's just one long swearing session. Everyone/thing is a cunt

jcscot Mon 25-Feb-13 21:10:17

Do you think we've scared off the non-Scots with all our strange words and songs?

apostropheuse Mon 25-Feb-13 21:13:17 can shove yer other granny aff the bus cos she's yer daddy's mammy.

Yep. Hatred of MILs was invented in Scotland, just like everything else.

Fact. grin

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 21:15:03

OH YEAH, it's Viper. I remember.

Yappy, my dad swears all the fucking time. He says "cunt" that often it's like the Vagina Monologues in our house.

I think "ooh ya beezer" a lot.

apostropheuse Mon 25-Feb-13 21:15:23

The test of being a true Scot is being able to insert vulgar language in the middle of a word, e.g. unbe-fucking-lievable, un-fucking-reliable... and so and and so forth.

bumperella Mon 25-Feb-13 21:20:41

The craws song always annoyed me; everyone knows is caw-bie's.
Apostraphause, ah'm sure its "ye cannae shove yer grannie aff the bus" not you "CAN shove yer grannie...".
Ya bawbag ya.

OverlyYappy Mon 25-Feb-13 21:21:16

Oh I do that.

Billy Connolly taught me that one. Unbe-fucking-lievable! I can picture him saying it. We used to borrow my best friend house and videos when teenagers when they went to bingo. Billy Connolly days, the things that man taught me.

Lorelilee Mon 25-Feb-13 21:23:19

Keep up bump - ye cannie shove yer grannie, but ye KIN shove yer OTHER grannie. :D

apostropheuse Mon 25-Feb-13 21:27:08


The second verse allows one to shove their paternal grandmother off the bus.

I used to love singing that to the weans, now it's the grandweans. The look of sheer horror and affrontery on their faces is priceless. grin

(I'm their maternal grandmother of course, so it's funny).

acrabadabra Mon 25-Feb-13 21:48:26

A went ma hole, a went ma hole, a went ma hole-eh-days,
Tae see the cunt, tae see the cunt, tae see the cunt-er-eh,

But my minds gone blank on the rest.

Bingdweller Mon 25-Feb-13 22:00:11

I wet ma hole, I wet ma hole, a went ma hole-iday

Tae see the cunt, tae see the cunt, tae see the cunt-ryside

fuck-yoo, fuck-yoo, fuck-yoo-riosity
I wet ma hole, I wet ma hole, I went ma hole-iday!

Did I really just type that???

Euphemia Mon 25-Feb-13 22:03:47


God, I'm glad we moved to Scotland. I love every one of you!

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 22:11:27

Countryside - the justifiable killing of Piers Morgan

seeker Mon 25-Feb-13 22:12:43

The only funny thing Jeremy Clarkson's ever said!

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 22:16:10

I think it was Stephen Fry that said that.

acrabadabra Mon 25-Feb-13 22:21:23

Thank you bingdweller grin

I was going to struggle to sleep tonight if you hadn't posted that.

What bing do you dwell on btw? Grew up very near a few myself.

Bingdweller Mon 25-Feb-13 22:24:12

You're the first person ever to ask me that abracadabra :-) Nobody has ever 'got' it!

It's a bing not far from Auld Reekie!

Bingdweller Mon 25-Feb-13 22:28:41

Ps - must have been very local to where I am as they are the only ones I am aware of.... The place that has an "x" in it - I am saying no more....

weegiemum Mon 25-Feb-13 22:34:12

That great Glasgow chat-up line:

"ya dauncin?"

Only right reply being:

"Ya askin?"

He was always asking!

bumperella Mon 25-Feb-13 22:57:23

bingdweller, have never heard that one.
Weegiemum, ah'm dauncin.

Now, gie'ees wan o'yer sweadgers.

amck5700 Mon 25-Feb-13 22:59:44

Bing, that'll be by the 3 sisters....or is it 5? (and not the proper ones up in the Highlands) grin

Bingdweller Mon 25-Feb-13 23:05:50

You're in the right(ish) area amck but wrong bings ;-)

If there are any non-scots still hanging around this thread, I admire you greatly!

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 23:08:22

What's a bing then?

Bingdweller Mon 25-Feb-13 23:08:29

One of my favourite Glaswegian sayings - often heard at Glasgow airport prior to departure

"Yer new gutties are braw"

Translation - I admire your new holiday footwear.

The must-have for any self-respecting Scot jetting off to the sunshine. The whiter, the better!

Bingdweller Mon 25-Feb-13 23:09:30

A bing is an old slag heap or coal heap - from former mining or paraffin production days mechanical

acrabadabra Mon 25-Feb-13 23:11:42

Bing - that's where I am now too! Small world!
Although I grew up in a much smaller village on the way to the posh place with the loch.

amck5700 Mon 25-Feb-13 23:12:12

Ah - I have friends that live in the place with the X and used to live in tht place next door beginning with the U ;) I'm originally from Edinburgh - anywhere west of the bypass and your straight into Irn Bru country - do you still salt and sauce there? I f'ing miss proper chippie sauce - we actually get offered Ketchup!! I ask you, f'ing Ketchup!!!!!!

amck5700 Mon 25-Feb-13 23:13:21

I spoke to someone today who didn't even know what a white/mealy pudding was shock tbf - i had never heard of Pizza crunch either.

MechanicalTheatre Mon 25-Feb-13 23:14:30

Oooh I seeee.

Bingdweller Mon 25-Feb-13 23:15:11

Ooooh, I have lots of links with the villages between B & L - particularly the one near the agricultural place....

Small world indeed!

Bingdweller Mon 25-Feb-13 23:17:50

amck we are still very much in salt'n'sauce territory! Ketchup. On a chappie. WTAF is that all about?

Chippies even stock the homemade sauce in glass juice bottles beside the irn bru.

Bingdweller Mon 25-Feb-13 23:18:19

Chippie, not chappie. That would be very wrong.

acrabadabra Mon 25-Feb-13 23:18:31

Amck had a chippy tonight actually and it was swimming in broon sauce!!

Almost had a white pudding but dh fancied fish so we shared that instead. Why do they give you 2 fish now? Can't understand that. Just charge me less ffs!

amck5700 Mon 25-Feb-13 23:21:08

Drool - chippie sauce.......

We can get fish in different sizes though - very sophisticated - apart for the rank Ketchup - work of the devil grin

Bingdweller Mon 25-Feb-13 23:21:17

Same chippie as I go to then acra £1.80 for a poke of chips - I just about collapsed with shock the other day. And what's the 2 fish thing all about?

acrabadabra Mon 25-Feb-13 23:22:46

bing we probably have some friends or relations in common then smile

amck5700 Mon 25-Feb-13 23:23:17

Can't get a decent white pudding - the ones here are all stodgy and clag in the top of your mouth - not like the proper crumbly deliciousness of a proper East Coast mealie pudding sad

....and I'm on a diet hence currently obsessed with the thought of chips sad

apostropheuse Mon 25-Feb-13 23:24:59

bingdweller I'll have you know you don't have the monopoly on bings!

ex mining village here. The bings now have grass growing on them, trees and everything.

acrabadabra Mon 25-Feb-13 23:25:40

2 suppers, 2 cans of ginger and 2 pickles was £11.90 shock

Should've gone to the RD for a chinese wink

acrabadabra Mon 25-Feb-13 23:27:14

My old bings got a fecking golf course on it now!

apostropheuse Mon 25-Feb-13 23:29:08

Very naice! acra

apostropheuse Mon 25-Feb-13 23:31:06

The place with an X in it would likely be Broxburn eh?

FannyFifer Tue 26-Feb-13 00:16:07

Loads of bings in my neck if the woods as well.

BegoniaBampot Tue 26-Feb-13 00:24:03

Awe, the bings were fab. Spent many an afternoon running down one and up the other. Great for newts as well for some strange reason!

SconeRhymesWithGone Tue 26-Feb-13 01:08:01

"If there are any non-scots still hanging around this thread, I admire you greatly!"

Well, I'm American but proudly descended from Scots, and I was lucky to be able to spend some of my student days in Scotland. I love the Scots language. This thread is great and I have expanded my Scots vocabulary considerably. The Doric is a bit of a challenge, I admit.

Some Scots words are used in US English, especially in the South. We call our little finger the pinkie and we blather (that's the way we spell it) a bit.

acrabadabra Tue 26-Feb-13 07:01:00

Morning!! How are we all this fine winter day?

Euphemia Tue 26-Feb-13 07:06:20

Gorgeous sunrise in Angus today. smile

Moominsarehippos Tue 26-Feb-13 07:25:57

Cold and wet in London. Bleuch.

JollyYellowGiant Tue 26-Feb-13 07:41:25

Beautiful here in the North East smile

Bingdweller Tue 26-Feb-13 09:16:50

Just about to start work :-( no more mn for me til later on!grin

AlwaysReadyForABlether Tue 26-Feb-13 09:39:16

Beautiful day in Fife too

I'm a non-scot still on this thread - but I live in Scotland and this is very useful and educational for me. We've been up here for nearly 5 years, and I don't think I have picked up the accent, but I have picked up some words and turns of phrase. Dh gets very irked when I say that something 'needs done'! Of course, that makes me say it even more. [evilgrin]

weegiemum Tue 26-Feb-13 10:39:29

Lovely day in Glasgow!

I'm about to go up to the Castlemilk shops! Anyone need anything? (sorry, no mealy puddings!).

amck5700 Tue 26-Feb-13 10:56:11

sad - trying to think of some typically scottish stuff to send you for grin

Some Tattie scones maybe?

OverlyYappy Tue 26-Feb-13 11:09:11

OMG you know the hole-a-day song and typed it.

What a fab thread! Or

what a fanfuckingtastic thread

BegoniaBampot Tue 26-Feb-13 11:11:05

Are you away the messages then? Miss saying that living down in England. Had a cousin visiting from Oz years ago, she was totally bamboozled especially when I sent her to the 'tally van' for a bottle of ginger.

amck5700 Tue 26-Feb-13 11:33:20

Strangely the word I get picked up on most is Outwith - I had no idea that that was just Scottish.

weegiemum Tue 26-Feb-13 11:37:02

Aye I'm aft to them shops for the messages. I'm gettin tattie scones anyway, and fur the weans, Irn Bru. Gottae feed them up, they're made in Scotland fae girders, after all!

(I can do fair svots, but my DSM is fae Aberdeen. Bloody nightmare, can't get it at all! Almost as bad as going to Belfast with dh!)

SconeRhymesWithGone Tue 26-Feb-13 11:53:20

Oh, I could murder a tattie scone and a proper bacon roll.

jcscot Tue 26-Feb-13 14:08:10

Had tattie scones with square sausages for lunch on a well-fired roll.


FannyFifer Tue 26-Feb-13 14:37:39

Outwith is Scottish, really?

JollyYellowGiant Tue 26-Feb-13 14:39:52

Try typing it into Microsoft Word and it tells you the spelling is incorrect. If I recall correctly.

mawbroon Tue 26-Feb-13 14:44:17

Who knows what the switchies are then??

And the feachs?

amck5700 Tue 26-Feb-13 14:49:07

ha - what does Microsoft know smile I use it at work and no-one down south had heard of it - that's evidence enough for me!

OldLadyKnowsNothing Tue 26-Feb-13 19:54:35

I know what the switchies are ( travelling fairground) but don't know feachs.

MissAnnersley Tue 26-Feb-13 19:59:18

Are the feachs the things you get injections for? grin

Don't know if it's the right one but we used to get feachs injections for life in the playground.

ComposHat Wed 27-Feb-13 14:24:48

I'm about to go up to the Castlemilk shops! Anyone need anything?

Are you going for the messages?

mawbroon Wed 27-Feb-13 14:32:23

Hmm, no injections for feachs in my neck of the woods, but they were certainly highly contageous and even speaking to somebody with the feachs made it spread grin

Knowing what the switchies are really narrows it down to quite a small area I think, I haven't heard it more than a few miles from where I'm from.

OldLadyKnowsNothing Wed 27-Feb-13 14:36:55

I wonder if we called "feachs" flechs? (Fleas/lice, could be entirely imaginary.)

My father's side of the family spoke Doric (still do, actually) and live in the Fraserburgh/Broch area.

MechanicalTheatre Wed 27-Feb-13 15:41:26

I never called a flea a flech. I've often had a flechy lug or a flechy erse though, so it's not too big a stretch to imagine that flech could be flea in Doric.

Lorelilee Wed 27-Feb-13 16:13:11

Fanny - yes it is. When I moved to London over 20 years ago, I used 'outwith' and someone asked if I'd made the word up. I duly checked the dictionary and it wasn't in there - was shocked to the core and couldn't believe I'd been using a 'made-up' word for all those years. Upon returning home 5 years ago, I realised that, yes, it is only used in Scotland. V. strange!

mawbroon Wed 27-Feb-13 16:43:53

Feachs are mostly imaginary. Crossing your fingers whilst talking to somebody infected with the feachs was a good antidote, mostly you didn't catch them if your fingers were crossed!!

Also, a little bit of dust or dirt can be a feach. "Mummy there's a feach on my plate" for example.

Also, something could be feachy, especially if it had been touched by somebody who had the feachs.

Interestingly, I learned that the Dutch word vies (pronounces fees, v similar to feachs) means dirty, so I wonder if it came from the dutch.

Never heard of a feach but we would cross our fingers at school to avoid getting jandies off someone!

Foosty is another great word that is underused!

I cannot believe outwith isn't a word! If something is outwith jurisdiction is it out with??

jcscot Wed 27-Feb-13 16:53:00

I had no idea that outwith was a purely Scots word as I use it a fair bit.

Foosty is a great word - I don't know why but some Scots word somehow seem more descriptive than the English equivalent.

Or for added emphasis fooshty, a bit like pished rather than pissed dontcha think!

amck5700 Wed 27-Feb-13 17:07:09

They use "not in" instead of outwith - i.e. that's outwith my remit becomes that's not in my remit. It just doesn't have the same emphasis as far I am concerned!

Maybe big eck will make it a word if we vote yes!!

amck5700 Wed 27-Feb-13 17:16:23

fat eck is a sleekit wee nyaff that thinks the Scottish population is so stupid they can't be trusted to make a decision based on the truth.

amck5700 Wed 27-Feb-13 17:17:29

I think the SNP would could do better in terms of their leadership - I can't take them seriously with him at the helm and it does the campaign for Scottish Independence no good.

JessieMcJessie Wed 27-Feb-13 17:23:46

That song brings back a lot of memories! But the last craw couldnae FLEE at 'a.... when I learned it.

I am another one who was amazed to learn that "outwith" was not used in England. I just use it anyway, it's hardly difficult to understand, is it?

The other one we do that sometimes causes odd looks is the use of "will" rather than shall e.g. "You look thirsty, will I put the kettle on? " I had a boss who would tease me by answering, "I don't know, you tell me!"

seeker Wed 27-Feb-13 17:29:05

I went out with Alex Salmond briefly- do I get a prize?

Booby prize?? Actually, I quite like him, in a get 'at up ye davie C kinda way! I don't agree with everything he says, but I agree with him more than I do Call me Dave!

Can I please clarify that is in a non sexual context! grin

seeker Wed 27-Feb-13 17:35:48

It was a very long time ago...........

amck5700 Wed 27-Feb-13 18:06:22

seeker- I don't know about a prize so much as a ticket to Carstairs grin

I can't even listen to what he says as most of it is patronising lies and half truths - he has a face I couldn't tire of punching smile

....and most of the others are the same to be fair, but there is something so superior in his manner it really annoys me.

seeker Wed 27-Feb-13 19:11:51

It was Stratheden on my side of the country!

It was kingseat in Aberdeenshire! grin

MechanicalTheatre Wed 27-Feb-13 19:14:35

seeker did he make you sing "Flower of Scotland" while you were in the sack?

I don't know what it is that is so odious about him, he's just...GAH. No way independence will happen with him at the helm.

Speaking of which, thoughts on independence? I'm in England now so won't get to vote and I'm really torn about what way I would go!

amck5700 Wed 27-Feb-13 19:31:13

Mechanical At the moment I have no idea as no-one seems willing to actually give a truthful account of anything.

I want Westminster to give me more to go on than "we are better together" or "we will only discuss dissolution of the union after a yes vote". Their reluctance to discuss anything makes me want to vote yes if I'm honest.

amck5700 Wed 27-Feb-13 19:42:21

I agree Glaikit as far as I can see there is a lot of posturing and babble but no actual information - as for the SNP "advert" i was peeing myself at them using the song "let's stick together" by Roxy music grin

MechanicalTheatre Wed 27-Feb-13 19:43:10

Glaikit, yes, the fact that David Cameron is so desperate to keep us makes me think that there is something we're not being told.

I mean, obviously we are just an ace country and he'd be gutted to see us go.

FannyFifer Wed 27-Feb-13 19:50:32

Lol Seeker, Salmond was actually not unattractive back in the day. grin

FannyFifer Wed 27-Feb-13 19:55:51

I think I said this up thread the other day, but I think we will get minimal info from Westminster until nearer he time and depending on what the polls say, I think they may offer the devo max option in the event of a no vote. If devo max were an option now, I would probably go for that (I like sitting on the fence)

FannyFifer Wed 27-Feb-13 20:00:42

In the event of a No vote, Scotland is utterly fucked.

Never really got the hatred toward Salmond, I like him, people should base their opinions less on what the MSM presents of him really.

MechanicalTheatre Wed 27-Feb-13 20:03:08

Didn't Westminster say they couldn't have a devo max option?

Yes but what Westminster say and then what they actually do are two different things! Wouldn't be their first uturn!

acrabadabra Wed 27-Feb-13 20:14:23

Seeker, did you call him Soapy when you knew him? My auntie was in his class at school and hated him. Used to mutter about him under her breath a lot. She's been gone 15ish years now. Bet she's been spinning for a lot of that time.

JollyYellowGiant Wed 27-Feb-13 20:25:52

I have said on here before that some folk seem to think that a Yes vote is a vote for Eck to rule Scotland forever more. Actually he will probably get fewer votes in an independent Scotland as many of the party faithful are natural greens/socialists/tories and will head off elsewhere after the glorious day.

I'm voting Yes smile

MechanicalTheatre Wed 27-Feb-13 20:32:45

I worry that if Scotland gets independence, the rest of Britain will be Tory-ruled FOREVER.

Good excuse to move back home, like...

BegoniaBampot Wed 27-Feb-13 20:34:51

We are down south so can't vote. I'm more a no but husband thinks Scotland would be crazy to miss this opportunity, he's convinced Scotland would do just fine on it's own.

JollyYellowGiant Wed 27-Feb-13 20:36:20

But actually Scottish votes have only influenced the over all outcome at Westminster once or twice since the war. So it has a little impact on the rest of the UK but a huge impact on Scotland as we rarely get what we vote for.

MechanicalTheatre Wed 27-Feb-13 20:40:25

If the proposals to form a good relationship with the Scando nations and sort of follow how they've become so successful, I think we'd do ok.

I worry if we get independence we will be over run by people wanting to love here before we close the borders! grin <I am jesting, everyone is welcome>

Moominsarehippos Wed 27-Feb-13 20:46:48

Wanting to 'love' there? Is that a Gretna Green thing?

Ach shite! Live!!

forgetmenots Wed 27-Feb-13 21:11:24

Completely agree with jollyyellowgiant. No vote means end of, back in your box. Yes vote starts discussions about the country we want, eck or no eck (genuine LOL at seeker)

FeistyLass Wed 27-Feb-13 22:36:12

Aw, I've just found this thread and I've missed all the blethering about songs (we always play Deacon Blue really loud when driving through England blush ) and Scottish words (favouites have to be dreich, drookit and clype ).

MechanicalTheatre Thu 28-Feb-13 00:10:00

Oh clype is a great word.

Did someone post this already - always makes me giggle!

Moominsarehippos Thu 28-Feb-13 08:43:28

My arrrrrrrrrse!

Favourite expression.

FannyFifer Thu 28-Feb-13 09:26:40

Over 90% of Scottish MP's voted against the bedroom tax yesterday!

Head of NO campaign Alistair Darling didn't even bother his arse voting, neither did Gordon Brown.

Only 4 Scottish MP's voted for it.

Fucking disgrace.

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