To think that the "reusable nappy crew" are on par with the "breastfeeding only crew" when it comes to hysteria?

(351 Posts)
DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:00:40

They both come out with that old chestnut "it doesn't take extra time or energy".

The reusable nappy crew keep emphasising how much money they save. How the disposable nappy parents are "harming the environment" with their non-biodegradable nappies and baby poo.

They try to make disposable nappy parents feel bad IMO. The same way those breast feeding mad mothers do.

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Wed 20-Feb-13 21:03:32

Is an extension of competative parenting.

Something which is best ignored.

wink

EeyoresGloomyPlace Wed 20-Feb-13 21:03:39

I'm hugely pro bf, for me it took much less time and effort, and i am proud of that, but I hope I would never come across as judging someone who chose to do differently.

I use disposable nappies and there's no way on earth anyone could convince me reusables aren't a massive pita.

I don't know anyone in RL who cares enough to make me feel bad about it though.

Blessyou Wed 20-Feb-13 21:05:28

So you don't mind spending extra money for disposable convenience.
So they don't mind spending a little time for saving the planet and money.
So what?

ravenAK Wed 20-Feb-13 21:07:18

Actually, I did find both bf'ing & reusable nappies saved me money & were less hassle/gross than the alternative (faffing about with powder'n'scoops'kettles when sleep deprived? humming binbags full of shit? No thanks).

But y'know, each to their own. Really not about to get hysterical about anyone else's gungy powder scoops or flyblown bins...grin

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:07:21

blessyou, I bet you I don't do more harm than a massive 4x4 or pick up truck does going up the M1 when I chuck a disposable nappy in the bin.

YouTheCat Wed 20-Feb-13 21:07:49

It's a matter of being a bit pissed off when someone else gets all judgy about other people's parenting choices. And then won't listen to someone else's view.

honeytea Wed 20-Feb-13 21:07:59

I use cloth nappies purely because tgey are cheap (we have free washing facilities in our apartment complex) I feel a bit embarrassed when other cloth nappy users try to engage me in a conversation about how much disposables damage the environment or how nasty chemicals touch the baby's skin, I have to say "we only do it because it is cheap --and I like the pretty paterns--"

lovelyredwine Wed 20-Feb-13 21:08:35

My dd is in reusable nappies and I breastfeed her until she was 2 so I'm probably one of the people you are referring to.

I couldn't care less what other people do. That's what we chose to do. Most people I know in rl don't know we use reusables as I just assume they don't care what nappies we use- it's not riveting conversation.

I think YABU as you're tarring everyone with one brush, when everyone does not live their lives the same and don't act the same.

dinkystinky Wed 20-Feb-13 21:08:45

If they want to spend their time and money on reusables, then fair play to them. As there is no one right way to parent or cover your childs arse its really not worth getting her up about.

thebody Wed 20-Feb-13 21:09:22

I bf but drive a 4+4 and used disposables.

And I don't care!! Eek wine making me bold..

TCOB Wed 20-Feb-13 21:09:24

'breastfeeding only crew' 'those breastfeeding mad mothers'? What crass lazy things to write. You lump people into whatever little packages helps you cope with them, dear.

kerala Wed 20-Feb-13 21:09:35

Riles you because you know they are right. Good for them. I used to get sneering and snarky comments from the "disposable nappy crew" would hmm you but can't on phone but hmm anyway.

EeyoresGloomyPlace Wed 20-Feb-13 21:09:54

Agree with YouTheCat, anyone getting judgey about any of your parenting choices says more about them than you. Do what suits you & your DCs, let them do what suits theirs.

GingerbreadGretel Wed 20-Feb-13 21:09:58

I agree some people can be very holier than though about reusable nappies.

When we were at the nappy stage we were stuck in a flat with an absolutely terrible damp problem. There was no way we could have had reusable nappies without either using the dryer (which when I did the research to decide pretty much negates all the benefits) or making the damp problem considerably worse - and thereby endangering our health. This didn't stop the "but they are so great" lectures.

It would have been lovely to be able to say "yes, they are great, but not for me at this time".

Which goes for many decisions in life!

CSIJanner Wed 20-Feb-13 21:10:09

^ what BlessYou said ^

FlouncingMintyy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:10:27

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

nickelbabe Wed 20-Feb-13 21:10:39

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Whyriskit Wed 20-Feb-13 21:10:45

I don't give a flying one what others do. I don't shove the fact that I breastfed and that DS2 STILL wears reuseables down people's throats.
I'm not a competitive parent. I just do what I do. You do what you do. Lovely.

KirstyJC Wed 20-Feb-13 21:11:38

As someone who does both, I think YABU to be bothered by this - whatever people do or don't say to you about their parenting choices is up to them. How you feel about what they say is up to you - if you think they are trying to make you feel bad, what does that say about you? Why do you assume that? And why does it bother you?

Oh, and it actually doesn't take up much extra time and you do save money. But it is entirely up to you if you chose to do it as well, I couldn't really care less.

It's not an either/or. We use reusables during the day and disposables at night and that works for us because I can't be arse to go looking for alternatives.

Smooshy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:12:57

I chose bf as it mainly involved sitting or lying around and no washing up! Definitely no extra energy involved there!

I also used reusable nappies for most of mine and didn't mind that extra effort of washing and drying them. I was, however, very thankful for disposables when DS5 had terrible nappy rash in the reusables and even buying new ones didn't get rid of it. I did feel guilty about them going to landfill. No one else made me feel guilty though, I managed that all by myself!

Most people I know only ever used disposables and I never lectured to them, they just thought I was mad and weird. I never understood how they thought washing nappies was so hard, I only put them in the washing machine like I did with clothes!

EeyoresGloomyPlace Wed 20-Feb-13 21:13:08

What is odfod? I've seen it three times today and am none the wiser.

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:13:18

lovelyredwine I don't mean to tar everyone with the same brush, but I've met and come across quite a few women who think they're the bees knees for using reusable, and that women who use disposables are "so silly for not learning about the benefits of reusables because they're just so blimming amazing". It annoys me.

nenevomito Wed 20-Feb-13 21:13:26

You're doing a whingy post about how other people parent, to complain that other parents are whingy.

Right. As you were.

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Feb-13 21:14:22

I use reusable nappies but I don't much care what other people do.

I've spent less than about £200 on nappies in 20 years as well as been given a few as gifts and used them on 8 kids,if I'm asked about it I'm happy to give info about them along with reusable San pro.

Why should that make anybody feel bad?

Springdiva Wed 20-Feb-13 21:14:32

Nappies ARE bigger than sanitary pads but the pads are used over 30 odd years, we should all be using moon cups grin

Bejeena Wed 20-Feb-13 21:14:35

What on earth? You are totally being UR! Why do you even care?

FlouncingMintyy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:14:39

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

TattyDevine Wed 20-Feb-13 21:14:46

I used reusables for a while, also disposables and it does take a bit of extra time for reusables - and it does take more "energy" in terms of washing/drying, buying liners, and putting an extra layer (waterproof pants) over the top, plus possibly extra changes (although my son could go 12 hours in one)

Easy to get sanctimonious about such things; better to just outline the cost benefit analysis of a particular method when discussing things, if you know both sides, which I do.

Good to flush poo down the loo; (reusable) good to not buy so many nappies (reusable); good to have an all in one done with solution (disposable); good to know they are not feeling wet in the night (disposable); good to not cart a wet bamboo nappy the weight of a UFO in your bag when out and about (disposable)

Etc etc

Pros and cons for formula or BF too, ignoring the health statistics.

I think you can be an advocate of both/either/or without being an asshole, though to be fair your op said reusable ONLY so you may have a point there.

YouTheCat Wed 20-Feb-13 21:14:54

I think some posters have missed the point. It's about being judgy arses about what other people do, not having a go because you choose to use disposable/reusable or whatever.

MsAkimbo Wed 20-Feb-13 21:15:25

I BF and use cloth nappies, but recognise that maybe not everyone does either or so don't say anything about it. Equally, I have friends who do the same as me, a combination of the two or neither. We all get on somehow.

To my family, I'm an "exhibitionist" and a "filthy hippie." So YABU to think one side is less vocal than the other.

FlouncingMintyy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:16:33

No, don't worry YouTheCat. I haven't missed the point of this thread at all.

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:16:58

Yes I know what goading is thanks, mintyy. Been here long enough to know. Unfortunately for you, I'm not shit stirring, I genuinely don't understand why women/men who used reusables think they're doing double or triple the amount to help the environment? They still have a carbon footprint don't they?

LimeLeafLizard Wed 20-Feb-13 21:17:21

Hello DisposableNappy. Have you namechanged for this thread or are you new to MN?

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 20-Feb-13 21:17:39

Hmmmm, funnily enough when I said I was going to use re-usable nappies it was the so called 'disposable crew' that scoffed and laughed and said I would quit hmm

Didn't though did I you arsey fuckers

IMO, it goes both ways.

Blessyou Wed 20-Feb-13 21:17:46

Again, so what?
You seem to have your choices all sorted.
Very nice.

TCOB Wed 20-Feb-13 21:17:52

OP - moaning about other people's judginess whilst parading your own prejudices is is generally known as tarring with the same brush. It also comes across as picking a fight. Which is dumb and childish. And reported FWIW.

thebody Wed 20-Feb-13 21:17:55

No I would never thrust my breast feeding down anyone's throat either!!! Eeek.

Bunnygotwhacked Wed 20-Feb-13 21:17:59

Has someone actually said something to you about you not using reusables or are you assuming reusuable users are sneering at you? Are you uncomfortable with the choices you've made which means you need to question the validity of other peoples actions in order to make yourself feel better because most people I've met bf/ff cloth or paper nappies generally couldn't give a fuck

FlouncingMintyy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:18:30

So why have you namechanged then op?

Dawndonna Wed 20-Feb-13 21:19:35

I used reusable nappies, they were called terry nappies back then. At that point the cost of disposables was prohibitive, but it was 28 years ago.

notenoughsocks Wed 20-Feb-13 21:20:32

YABU. I took the time to reply cos I was a bfeeding-cloth-nappy-user. But I think parent solidarity is more important than that. we all do what we think is best for us and our children, in our situation, in light of our priorities etc. Parenting is difficult enough without this sort of competitiveness/judginesss/cattiness.

(I bet I didn't manage to spell any of those last three right but you get my drift)

SirBoobAlot Wed 20-Feb-13 21:20:54

Reusable nappies are better for the environment, and better for the baby. That's a fact. And I say that as a disposable nappy user.

No point getting pissed over scientific facts.

Are you going around looking to be insulted?

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:21:09

mintyy if you're not going to engage in discussion, then you're free to hide the thread if this is too upsetting for you. hmm

gordyslovesheep Wed 20-Feb-13 21:22:10

did you change your name for this then?

I couldn't give a toss what people use to collect their infants poo and wee - and I have never met women who made a big deal out of it either - maybe find new friends OP

mumandboys123 Wed 20-Feb-13 21:22:12

I did both.

If you asked me, I would tell you why. Most people feign interest long enough to hold a basic discussion and then move on. Some people like to go into depth. The ones that like an argument and need to prove to me that formula feeding is fine (of course it is) or that reusable nappies are no better for the environment than disposable ones (depends on what matters to you personally) are the same people who have a need TO BE RIGHT about everything. I couldn't care less what people do with their babies and the choices they make. But if you don't want me to explain my reasons, then don't ask!!!!

And the best reason for not using disposables? It takes so long for a disposable to breakdown that every single disposable nappy that has ever been used is sitting in landfill. Nice.

Pilgit Wed 20-Feb-13 21:22:23

Each to their own. for what it's worth, they really aren't a faff - in our case only 1 extra load of washing every two days and you have to remember to change them more frequently so that the nappies don't reach saturation point. It's like potty training - it seems like an enormous faff and is scary, but when you've got the other side of it you wonder what you were worried about. That's probably why it comes across as judgey because it really isn't an enormous faff. However, we all have different circumstances and it is no one's place to judge the decisions others make.

GingerbreadGretel Wed 20-Feb-13 21:22:52

Bunny, am not the OP but had at least three people who went on and on and on at me about reusables. None of whom even had kids yet! Though to be fair, I think they have gone on to use re-usables now they have kids.

BikeRunSki Wed 20-Feb-13 21:22:57

I use cloth nappies.
I didn't bf either baby for more than 2 weeks (during which time, ironically, they were in dsiposables)
I am not hysterical about anything

kerala Wed 20-Feb-13 21:23:38

I got someone else to wash mine so I was green and lazy. I definitely win on the smug front (not that i was as who really gives a shit (ha))

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Feb-13 21:24:44

Add message | Report | Message poster EeyoresGloomyPlace Wed 20-Feb-13 21:13:08
What is odfod? I've seen it three times today and am none the wiser.

Oh do fuck off dear.

Obviously I'm not telling you to fuck off just saying what it means

EwanHoozami Wed 20-Feb-13 21:24:50

who on earth are these people who you think are judging on the basis of what others soak piss up with?

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:24:53

I did breast feed too and I managed to do it without giving anyone a lecture about it.

Booyhoo Wed 20-Feb-13 21:24:54

" I bet you I don't do more harm than a massive 4x4 or pick up truck does going up the M1 when I chuck a disposable nappy in the bin. "

do BFers and re-usable users all drive 4X4s or pick up trucks up the M1? confused

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 20-Feb-13 21:24:55

Also OP, I have never heard a breast feeder/reusable nappy user say it doesn't take extra time or energy, because it does. They both do.

However, they are both cheaper and easier than the alternatives.

You obviously just have a complex about your choices.

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 20-Feb-13 21:25:42

How mighty of you Disposable, you truly are an inspiration to us all.

LimeLeafLizard Wed 20-Feb-13 21:25:56

Seriously, OP, this is a real non-issue for most people. Just not interesting to read about. Try writing about another topic.

lovelyredwine Wed 20-Feb-13 21:26:05

Disposable- It is annoying when people are being smug bastards about their 'better' parenting choices. Just ignore them.

The breastfeeding, reusable nappy brigade get it too. Apparently we'll never be able to go out without the child, ruin our breasts if we breastfeed, and are creating so much work for ourselves by using reusables! Just do what you want, and to use a mn classic, smile and nod (whilst ignoring them).

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:28:00

Why is it when you post something on here, people start psycho analysing you?

I don't have a complex about my choices. I'm annoyed that people think they are better than me just because they choose to use reusable nappies.

youmaycallmeSSP Wed 20-Feb-13 21:28:18

YABU I think but there are some seriously daft, ridiculously competitive parents out there who do this kind of thing so I can see why it would wind you up. Unless you're putting coke in your baby's bottle there's really no need for anyone to bang on about the benefits of their alternative parenting choices.

I BFed DS for over a year, DD is EBF and I use reusable nappies. Like honeytea said, I personally don't have the energy to be up all night working out formula and sterilising things and I use reusables because they're cheap and look pretty grin I'm not convinced about their environmental benefits given the amount of energy it uses to wash and dry them every other day, nor do I think using disposables is akin to coating your baby in petrochemicals. I really couldn't care less what other people do.

YouTheCat Wed 20-Feb-13 21:28:28

I wanted to use cloth nappies but it would have been pretty much unworkable. December born twins. No washing machine until they were 4 years old. No heating (except a gas fire). And an already damp flat. Plus no money to send nappies out to be washed.

bumperella Wed 20-Feb-13 21:28:28

I use re-usables and didn't breast feed. I don't assume that people who prefer disposables are inferior/stupid/bad/whatever. I don't think how I deal with DD's poo/pee defines me as "the bees knees", in fact, I don't think it says anything about me at all.

Clearly I am a terrible human being because IF anyone asks (they do) then I would say I find them no hassle/absorbent/quick to dry/way cheaper/less landfill. Not because i've some deep-seated need to make people who use disposables "feel bad" but becuase it's true (FOR ME). But frankly I've better things to talk about than poo/pee containment so I'd only talk about it if someone asked.

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:28:42

LimeLeaf. Really? Hide the thread then hmm

Tincletoes Wed 20-Feb-13 21:29:01

I have resolved to not get wound up about anyone doing anything that does not affect my life

So go breastfeed, bottlefeed, use whatever nappy you like - just don't tell me what I have to do and we can all be happy.

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:31:09

Youthecat, this is the thing. Some people, like you, just can't use reusables due to circumstances. Why should you be made to feel bad about your choices?

Even in my ante natal classes we had a woman come in to talk about her reusable nappies and to tell us how much "better" they are than disposables.

Pfft, they're both wrong. Elimination Communication is the way now dahhlings grin

YouTheCat Wed 20-Feb-13 21:33:46

grin at BeyondTheLimits

Don't worry though, Disposable, I've never let anyone make me feel bad about my choices/or lack of choices. smile

Smooshy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:34:22

I've never thought i was better than anyone when I used cloth. In fact I've had far more disposable users questioning and judging me for using cloth. When I used disposables no one said anything, even the parents that used reusables.

LimeLeafLizard Wed 20-Feb-13 21:34:31

You mean, don't buy the publication you write for?

You still haven't explained who, if anyone, has actually said anything to you about your choices, or what they said. Go on, tell us.

Shagmundfreud Wed 20-Feb-13 21:34:39

YABU

I used disposables. I made the choice out of laziness and tight-fistedness - didn't want to shell out up front for nappies.

But disposables are REALLY terrible for the environment.

I feel bad about it now. I probably created my own landfill site with all the nappies I used on my three children.

But I don't blame those people who are enthusiastic about reusables. Good for them. I'm glad someone's making the effort and trying to spread the word.

"I'm annoyed that people think they are better than me just because they choose to use reusable nappies".

Well - maybe they are less lazy and more caring about the environment than you. Suck it up. You made your choices. Accept responsibility for them.

drivingmisspotty Wed 20-Feb-13 21:35:32

Hmmm, I've never come across this in real life either I'm afraid, OP. Maybe you should ditch these judgmental friends you have and find more interesting people to hang out with. Even the woman who came to our NCT class to persuade us to use reusables was very laid back about it. She did use the term 'real nappies' though which I find super annoying for some reason, I think because my inner pedant is offended and wonders if disposables are therefore imaginary nappies...

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 20-Feb-13 21:36:02

Peace and love

mumandboys123 Wed 20-Feb-13 21:36:36

Even in my ante natal classes we had a woman come in to talk about her reusable nappies and to tell us how much "better" they are than disposables.

but people are entitled to think and say that, aren't they? if she's promoting the use of reusables, it wouldn't really make sense for her to say 'here's some nice cotton nappies but I think you'd be better off using disposables'. Would kind of defeat the object! I prefer resuables. I prefer to breastfeed. I believe that there are infinite positive benefits to both. I don't believe, however, that either of those things separately or put together make me a 'better parent' than the next person. There is no judgement intended in saying 'I like breastfeeding and I think it's better for my baby than formula feeding'. It's just what I believe for my children.

I think you just need not to feel like you have to justify what you do with your children. But expect people to do just that if you get into conversation with them about these issues. That's normal.

Yfronts Wed 20-Feb-13 21:36:44

Actually i know plenty of people who use reusable nappies and non of them go on about it. Obviously it is better for the environment and kinder to the pocket.

Of course breast feeding is best but it's not something that is openly discussed in mixed BF/FF friendship groups because no one want to offend anyone else. We all know the facts.

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Feb-13 21:37:24

Puds,

If I was asked I would say I bf because I'm lazy, bottle washing and having to get out of bed for night feeds does not appeal to me.

I also don't find the nappies more effort its just different its one extra load of washing they get put on the airer and I don't have to carry boxes of nappies from the supermarket

MustTidyUpMustTidyUp Wed 20-Feb-13 21:38:04

I get what you're saying OP. can I throw BLW into the stirring pot too please? grin
<hard hat>

oldraver Wed 20-Feb-13 21:39:11

I've used disposables and cloth, they were the right decisions for me at the time, I'm not really that bothered by what other people use...I've only really had the cloth conversation once with someone who was having their second and wanted to use cloth but was erring toward disposables due to not wanting to tumble dry.. I told her about microfibre and she was adamant she didnt want 'polyester' next to her babies bum.... I was quite amused by that.

Its not something I had ever thought about previously but after using cloth the thought of parents wrapping up shit in plastic then chucking it in landfill does make me go yuck

MustTidyUpMustTidyUp Wed 20-Feb-13 21:39:54

Oh! And also 'I dont allow my PFB to watch television'?

Booyhoo Wed 20-Feb-13 21:40:55

OP has someone said they are a better parent/person than you for using re-usables? who is making you feel this way?

i've both bottle fed and breast fed and used disposables and re-usables with two children and i have never had a comment from anyone about either choice being a worse or better choice (apart from the midwife when dcs were born)

is it possible you might have a complex about this rather than people actually being smug or going out of their way to make you feel bad?

Tallgiraffe Wed 20-Feb-13 21:42:25

Why would you care what another parent uses to keep urine and faeces contained? Why would you be discussing it, surely you have more to talk about?

FYI I cloth nappy. Not because I'm trying to prove a point, or make anyone feel bad, but because it works for us! We live a long way from a shop and I'm pretty disorganised so I know we'd run out of disposables, it's much easier to put the washing machine on than go shopping for me. Do what works for you, that's my view on most aspects of parenting!

youmaycallmeSSP Wed 20-Feb-13 21:42:41

'Elimination Communication' is flipping nuts.

<removes judgipants grin>

I did BLW with DS too. My medals are gleaming.

hmm

cloutiedumpling Wed 20-Feb-13 21:44:32

Please don't tar everyone with the same brush. I use washable nappies and BF but don't ram it down the throats of everyone I come into contact with. I don't find nappies or BF riveting conversation. You'll probably find that the people who are evangelical about using real nappies are in the minority of people who use them.

EwanHoozami Wed 20-Feb-13 21:44:53

I use reusables because I am a cheapskate with unmetered water and a Makro card for giant packs of non-bio. Nowt to be crowing about there, I fear grin

<passes peace pope to Olivia>

EwanHoozami Wed 20-Feb-13 21:45:11

^^PIPE.


FFS.

I did extended bf-ing because it was easy & free, and I used cloth nappies because they were cheap & I liked the cute covers.

Switched to disposables after dd2 though - 2 babies in cloth nappies at once was too much for me, cheap or not.

iwillsleepagainsomeday Wed 20-Feb-13 21:45:38

i just try to make life easy so I bf all the way (no bottles of any kind) and use disposables. I really admire people using cloth diapers although I did use cloth sanitary pads between dc2 and dc3 so ina way i did my part.

I also admire in a certain way people who have to ff during the night as I am faaaar to lazy for all the fuss. I would be hugely challenged to not be able to bf my dc to sleep (myself and dc).

hth

YouTheCat Wed 20-Feb-13 21:45:40

Tbh, anyone who is evangelical about any subject is going to be a massive bore anyway.

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Feb-13 21:45:40

I once squirted my breasts out of the window of my massive 4x4 or pick up truck

A couple were changing their baby by the side of the motorway

They were using Pampers

This annoyed me

They deserved it.

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Feb-13 21:46:37

I won't ask what Olivia is supposed to do with a Peace Pope! grin

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:46:47

No booyhoo I don't have a complex about this. I have had a very long lecture today though about how I'm harming the environment and that reusables are so easy and "kinder" to use. Not a friend, just someone I bump into sometimes on a Wednesday evening.

MogTheForgetfulCat Wed 20-Feb-13 21:47:22

I've BF my 3 children, and used a mixture of cloth and disposables. I've never tried to make anyone feel bad about the way they do things. Unlike people who use the words "crew" (or "brigade" - ugh) about an amorphous group of people hmm. You sound paranoid and aggressive.

Tallgiraffe Wed 20-Feb-13 21:48:49

Peace pope grin does that need white smoke?

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:49:54

mog, I am really aggressive. <woof woof> <gnarls>

youmaycallmeSSP Wed 20-Feb-13 21:49:57

Avoid that person. There is no need to tolerate their monologues as they will be a dreadful bore in plenty of other areas too.

MogTheForgetfulCat Wed 20-Feb-13 21:50:58

In that case, why didn't you just tell this acquaintance to naff off grin.

missorinoco Wed 20-Feb-13 21:51:30

I also had much incredulity and a little derision when I used reusables.

I think it's best to give something obvious to people to criticise you for, otherwise they feel a need to go looking. A dummy did it for me.

Olivia - for you [white dove with an olive branch]

WorraLiberty Wed 20-Feb-13 21:51:52

Stay in on Wednesdays then

Problem solved grin

mumandboys123 Wed 20-Feb-13 21:52:23

so....people are not allowed to believe that using disposables is harming the environment and that the alternative is somehow kinder? And they're not allowed to voice their opinions?

Booyhoo Wed 20-Feb-13 21:53:07

this will make me look really stupid but there are 4 years between my dcs but to me it felt like a whole generation as i had changed so much between the two. anyway, with ds1 i was 19 and clueless and i thought all babies just ate baby jars so that's all i bought. i dont know why i didn't question it, i just didn't, not until he had a good set of chompers on him and i thought "he looks like he could handle toast" grin and then when ds2 was born, i was just so used to me and ds1 eating proper food that i completely forgot that food was supposed to be soft for babies and i automatically started giving him stuff off our plates. i didn't realise it was BLW until i saw a thread on MN. it was only after that i realised that people probably thought i was being oh so smug when they asked what he ate and i replied "just what we eat" with a confused look on my face (because in my thick head, what else would they eat? i'd fortgotten that purees and jars existed!) so yes people probably thought i was being smug and judgy when i was just being unbelievably thick. blush

Schooldidi Wed 20-Feb-13 21:53:11

I bfed both mine til they were over 1 (dd2 was almost 3 byt the time she stopped). Dd2 was also in cloth nappies.

I never mentioned it to anyone who hadn't asked about it first. The only conversations I ever had about cloth nappies were with other people who were using them and we asked each other for advice about various aspects, I found those conversations immensely boring and would rather not have had them.

I hope I'm not one of the mothers you are talking about? I'm perfectly normal thanks.

My aunt on the other hand, she may well be one of the mothers you're talking about, she's evangelical about the whole mother earth childrearing thing. If that works for her then that's great but I don't like the way she talks down to anybody making different choices to her. I don't like the way my friend talked down to me about how much more complicated I was making my life by using washable nappies. I didn't like the way my ex sil told me it was disgusting for me to bf outside my own home, or that i was perverted for wanting a baby sucking on my tits. Should I tar everybody who didn't bf, or used disposables with the same brush as them? I chose not to, because I realise that everybody is different and I just happen to know some right twats.

YouTheCat Wed 20-Feb-13 21:53:26

Where did anyone say that? hmm

bumperella Wed 20-Feb-13 21:53:32

So, you met one person today who lectured you about the benefits of cloth nappies, which has pissed you off.....but from that annoyance you invent a "reusable nappy crew" out to make folk who use disposables "feel bad".

Right.

MummytoMog Wed 20-Feb-13 21:54:40

I use reusable nappies, which given I have a three and a half year old still in the fuckers, certainly has saved me money. It isn't much more time and effort really. What pisses me off is all the people who say 'oh my mate/sister/colleague/dog tried reusable nappies and they leaked everywhere and were shit' and then tell everyone else that reusable nappies are shit when they haven't even tried them themselves. Fuckwits. Disposables have their place, I use them when we're out and about as a rule, but I like Terries and they're bleeding cheap.

Booyhoo Wed 20-Feb-13 21:55:31

"I have had a very long lecture today though about how I'm harming the environment and that reusables are so easy and "kinder" to use. Not a friend, just someone I bump into sometimes on a Wednesday evening. "

that's just one person with an issue though. why would you assume all re-usable users are the same?

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:56:16

worra good idea!

mumandboys, I don't want people telling me and making me feel guilty for something that I choose to do. When I chose to give my dc formula after 10 months, that was MY choice. Why should anyone come and judge anyone for the choices they make? It makes them sound smug and snotty.

FlouncingMintyy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:57:10

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

stargirl1701 Wed 20-Feb-13 21:58:00

Worra gringringringringrin

Why does it bother you, OP? I find, if genuinely don't care about a subject then my response is, meh.

If it is something that bothers me, I get excised about it.

Why start a thread unless you care about using disposables/not using cloth?

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 21:58:01

I've also had a few smaller lectures in the past booyhoo from a few other people at baby meet ups. This one took the biscuit today.

Booyhoo Wed 20-Feb-13 21:59:43

OP you'll only feel guilty if you choose to. regardless of anyone else's intention to make you feel guilty, they only succeed if you accept that you should be guilty. which you shouldn't, so dont accept the guilt. it isn't yours.

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 22:00:56

mintyy the only person wound up is you...(and me to a lesser extent, but that's for a different reason).

Why don't you point to the ceiling, point to the floor, point to the window, point to the door. Clap your hands together 1,2,3, put your hands upon your knees.

There you go...hope that's unwound you a bit.

Schooldidi Wed 20-Feb-13 22:04:00

I've had lectures about all sorts of things. I don't automatically asssume that everyone who does those things is likely to give me a lecture. I assume I've met someone who wants everyone to be jsut as passionate about their 'thing' as they are. I also assume they'll be a bit boring and I won't really want to be their friend.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 20-Feb-13 22:04:02

AHEM

thezebrawearspurple Wed 20-Feb-13 22:04:49

They do have a point about the environment though, I admit to using disposable nappies because I'm incredibly squeamish about poo and am too lazy to do all that washing! It's actually frightening to think of all the nappies we've gone through and multiply it by all the millions of other people using the same each yearshock

Shagmundfreud Wed 20-Feb-13 22:05:07

"I don't want people telling me and making me feel guilty for something that I choose to do"

If the polluting disposable nappy hat fits, wear it.

Embrace your guilt about being a selfish, lazy, environmental vandal. T'is better than fighting it and trying to blame other people for your absolutely deserved and rational feelings of culpability for helping to create landfill sites.

Smooshy Wed 20-Feb-13 22:05:19

You're all talking about shit.

YouTheCat Wed 20-Feb-13 22:06:32

Thankyou, Shagmund, for really illustrating the point there.

FlouncingMintyy Wed 20-Feb-13 22:07:26

I am not wound up, not in the tiniest bit, truly.

I just don't want to see you getting away with this fuckwittery.

Especially not when HQ are practically begging us to report threads like yours.

It now boils down to an acquaintance having a go at you on Wednesday night for not using reusables. Am I correct?

But you have translated this to there being a "reusable nappy crew" and a "breastfeeding only crew"?

And in order to express your supposed feelings about this you have felt the need to hide behind a namechange.

Its just not on, really, is it?

Shagmundfreud Wed 20-Feb-13 22:07:34

Being disapproved of by other people who make more responsible choices is part of the price you pay for the convenience of using chuck away nappies.

Accept it and move on.

LlamateurDramatics Wed 20-Feb-13 22:09:08

I'm one of 'those' people who extended bf, use use reusable nappies, cosleep etc etc etc. I couldn't give fifty shades of shiny shite what other people do, I tend to find people more judgemental about my parenting choices than the other way around so from my point of view YABU.

MummytoMog Wed 20-Feb-13 22:09:57

Secretly I feel like this^

I don't lecture people though, it's their choice, just like it's mine to secretly chuck away recyclables because I hate washing them out...

MummytoMog Wed 20-Feb-13 22:10:42

Like Shagmund that is, not nice and reasonable like Llama wink

Shagmundfreud Wed 20-Feb-13 22:10:48

Seriously - what is it with you young-uns?

Listen - guilt is good. If you feel guilty it's usually because you've DONE SOMETHING WRONG. That's how it works.

Stop bloody complaining.

<meh>

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 22:10:50

Shagmund, do you tell your friends who drive cars that they're harming th environment? Or do you tell people who spray aerosols they're harming the environment? What about people who leave cigarette butts everywhere? Do we have a right to lecture them too?

Nappies are not the only thing hurting the environment.

babanouche Wed 20-Feb-13 22:11:37

YABU

I breastfed til lo was nearly 3 and I used disposables all the way. Never felt judged for either of those choices. People who feel they're being judged often enough to post about it need to grow a thicker skin. If you're happy with your choices who cares what others think?

babanouche Wed 20-Feb-13 22:12:47

Llamateur, nail on head. They feel guilty so go on the attack. To each their own.

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 22:13:19

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

PessaryPam Wed 20-Feb-13 22:13:23

Just to say can you imagine what the average bloke is going to think about this wonderful exchange of sisterly love. Women are so divided, and easy to control because they are constantly trying to compete against each other. Makes me sad but I am resigned to it.

YouTheCat Wed 20-Feb-13 22:14:35

I don't feel guilty.

Shagmundfreud Wed 20-Feb-13 22:18:08

"Shagmund, do you tell your friends who drive cars that they're harming th environment? Or do you tell people who spray aerosols they're harming the environment? What about people who leave cigarette butts everywhere? Do we have a right to lecture them too?"

Umm, if people are unnecessarily driving huge, gas guzzling cars, spraying aerosols all over the shop and sprinkling fag butts like fairy dust then someone SHOULD bloody lecture them on why they need to change their nasty, selfish, ways. Just not me because I'm a coward. grin

"Nappies are not the only thing hurting the environment."

No, more's the pity. But disposable nappies are really gross and irresponsible, and easily replaced by reusables.

As I said - guilt performs a very important function in society: it discourages us from doing things we know are WRONG and harmful to the group. You feel guilty because you know using disposables is wasteful and environmentally selfish. And you resent anyone rightly reminding you of this.

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 22:19:49

Right. Okay.

<goes off to purchase reusable nappies>

libelulle Wed 20-Feb-13 22:20:40

Well, the problem is that we should feel rubbish about using disposable nappies. They'll still be in landfill when our kids are grandparents. I lasted a week using reusables with firstborn DD and couldn't cope with the faff, they were soaking wet and smelly and awful. So both mine have been in disposables from birth to potty training - 6 years in all. But I'm not deluded enough to think that I've made the most environmentally responsible choice!

YABU

I bf & use reusables, now on dc2. I do both because I think it's best for my child. I don't think either is a pita. I couldn't give a shiny shit how you choose to collect & store your children's excrement. I could give a slightly less shiny shit whether you bf as I think every child deserves this. But I only evangelise on here don't evangelise about it.

I however have been given hassle about doing both. 'No wonder you're tired babiesibslings...' Blah blah 'dd will never learn to walk with that massive nappy on' (walked at 11 months). 'Your washing machine must never stop', um, 3 extra loads a week. 'Eew, a bucket of mingling nappies in your living room!', nope, a bucket, of nappies, sans shite (flushed) in my bathroom cupboard. Etc

I never tell anyone we cloth bum but DCs massive arses give it away

FlouncingMintyy Wed 20-Feb-13 22:24:50

Hello again there DisposableNappy.

Making myself look like an idiot you say?

I see.

rodandtheemu Wed 20-Feb-13 22:25:45

Is an extension of competative parenting

Something which is best ignored

well done mrsraj love it grin

If you don't believe you are wrong and think you are being perfectly reasonable, why hide behind a namechange? confused

as you are starting a thread about it and not them, I'd say you are the one banging on about it

nancerama Wed 20-Feb-13 22:29:17

I do both. It works for me, what anyone else chooses to do is neither here nor there. Being a parent is tough - you do what you need to do to stay sane. I'm lazy - I find it easier bunging a wash on when I'm getting low on supplies than dragging DS down to the shops and wresting him into a trolley.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Wed 20-Feb-13 22:32:03

OI!

Why oi? What has been said that's unfair?

DisposableNappy Wed 20-Feb-13 22:37:46

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

MyNameIsAnAnagram Wed 20-Feb-13 22:40:40

I based my choices largely on money as I am tight grin I bf because it was free, and i was lucky enough to get a massive shedload of cloth nappies on freecycle. I don't really give a shit what anyone else does and I don't go round lecturing people on it either. Oh except I'm a bf peer supporter so I probably am one of those types you dislike so much. Oh well, I'll live.

Ok, oi at op being so...

LadyWidmerpool Wed 20-Feb-13 22:52:07

Not the nappystapo! [cowers]

I have never met anyone who is actually interested beyond politeness either in how I fed my child or what nappies I use.

Mix fed till 12 weeks and EBF thereafter and reuseables in the day, disposables at night if you're interested (which you aren't). Which means everyone should hate me (but no one cares).

babanouche Wed 20-Feb-13 22:52:26

This is the first thread I'm witness to MNHQ getting feisty. Excited!

so so tempting to nc to CrazyNappyLady innit

moo ha ha

boysarelikedogs don't nc, I love yours! Def true with DS, feed, run, tickle his tummy, clean up his shit & he's happy!

midastouch Wed 20-Feb-13 23:17:44

I ff both DCs and used disposbale nappies, never even considered using reusable, yuck! i dont particularly care what anyone thinks. To each there own!

gimmecakeandcandy Wed 20-Feb-13 23:29:51

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Wed 20-Feb-13 23:30:46

BF is best for baby.

Reusable nappies are best for the environment.

If you can't face the reality of these simple facts you must be a very delicate flower. I actually use reusables and feel bad about that. I'm not in denial that it's a selfish choice though.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Wed 20-Feb-13 23:32:25

Disposables not reusables...

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Feb-13 23:32:38

Ghoul you feel guilty for using reusables?

Why

IneedAsockamnesty Wed 20-Feb-13 23:33:00

Xposted

gimmecakeandcandy Wed 20-Feb-13 23:34:59

Hear hear ghoul! I breastfed but used disposables but of course cloth nappies are better and far more responsible. The op is showing herself up in all sorts of ways - and I bet she carries on doing so too.

babyicebean Wed 20-Feb-13 23:54:16

I used reusables on mine - not because I was saving the planet but because I had a baby that was allergic to disposables then couldnt see the point in not using them on the other two, I breastfed all three as I am a lazy bugger and hated getting up in the night and found it easier to BF them. I went to a BF group but we talked about other things than nappies and BF'ing, usually cake and choc and lack of sex drive.

You want to use disposables then do it, want to formula feed then go for it, if it works for you then it works for you.

larks35 Thu 21-Feb-13 00:00:07

I realised long ago that I will always take the easier route if possible. That is why I BF when my babies were small, FF when I returned to work and have always used disposable nappies (I know this is not good for our environment, just put bin out and it is majorly heavy due to DD (10mo) having teething diarrhea these last few days). Friends of mine have chosen different ways of feeding and cleaning their babies. None of us give a shit about the difference in our choices, we're too busy slagging off our OHs chatting!

honeytea Thu 21-Feb-13 03:13:41

It isn't the baby's disposable nappies that will ruin the environment, it's the car they will drive, the tons of food they will consume, the flights they will take. It is environmentally unfriendly to have children, personally I don't think using cloth nappies makes a huge difference.

TarkaTheOtter Thu 21-Feb-13 03:26:26

The only person I have met who wanted to talk about reusable nappies was paid to do so by the council. She was an absolute bore about them, a bit of hysteria would have livened up the conversation considerably.

Eh I did both of both. DS#1 was in sposies and was mixed fed. DS#2 was in cloth and ebm. Breastfeeding was never easy for me, but it did have some benefits for me (and of course a lot for DS).

I did find cloth nappies easier and I do think they were more environmentally friendly. I am not terribly organised and would forget (or couldn't afford) to buy nappies and would have to do a special trip to the supermarket for them. I got to the point I could make a cloth nappy or a cover in 15 minutes and would often use old tshirts and other recycled clothes so I could dig in DH's closet and make a nappy in the time it would have taken to get us all dressed/shoes/in carseats.

I was also suckered in with the cute factor. Even the sposies I bought for DS#1 were Benetton ones that were really colourful (and cheap and fit great)

ProcessYellowC Thu 21-Feb-13 03:40:10

Cor, I wish there had been a reusable nappy crew when my DS was little. We could have sorted ourselves out with badges and matching jackets, like the pink ladies.

I did get quite a lot of curiosity though about his nappies though (his massive bum was blooming obvious) and I like to think I answered questions politely without proselytizing but hey, you've mentioned a couple of my answers so who knows, maybe I was leaving a trail of upset in my wake when I told people that they were cheaper, or that care of the environment influenced my decision.

What should I have said to not cause upset? confused

Or was I doomed to cause offence anyways because I was a "breast feeding mad mother" who fed her child till 2.5 and again, didn't deliberately proselytize but I didn't hide it and would honestly answer questions from friends, who were again, largely curious.

So on balance I reckon you are BU and pretty offensive too.

DisposableNappy Thu 21-Feb-13 07:30:16

gimmecake I don't really see where I've shouted or have been childish. I have my opinion and don't want to be preached at what is right or wrong. The only people showing themselves up are the ones making slanderous accusations about my motives.

process, seriously how I offended you? hmm. Have you even read the thread? I am talking about people who have preached to me about how reusables are better without me prompting for questions or being curiosity. Do you really think people will have got offended by you when they've asked questions themselves? Stop finding a reason to get offended.

gimmecakeandcandy Thu 21-Feb-13 07:34:27

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

DisposableNappy Thu 21-Feb-13 07:36:02

Who's arguing? If you think you're arguing, then you really shouldn't be posting because this is a discussion. hmm

I don't really give a crap about saving the planet tbh. I use cloth nappies and bf because we couldn't afford to do otherwise. It simply saves us that much money. You do whatever you want with your money I'm happy with our decisions. hmm

Wonder why you feel the need to be so defensive though. Has someone been guilting you? Don't let them. You make the decisions that suit you and your circumstances. Noone else's business.

SkinnybitchWannabe Thu 21-Feb-13 07:43:05

I used bottles and disposible nappies for my 3...I assume I'm going straight to Hell sad

Tailtwister Thu 21-Feb-13 07:43:32

IME reusables either work for you or they don't. We tried them and after having them leak yet again, decided they weren't for us.

RememberTheGoodTimes Thu 21-Feb-13 07:54:48

I have my opinion and don't want to be preached at what is right or wrong

Then why on earth have you started this thread? confused confused confused

Seriously, some people DO care a lot about the environment. They WILL be evangelical about disposable nappies (or not. One of my friend is VERY eco friendly but thinks that eco disposable nappies are better than re-usable ones re carbon footprint and damage to the environment. But on the other side, she would never use wipes).
People making comments about the fact they use reusable could be 'boasting', trying to 'impose' their way as better or very simply (and most likely?) very sure in their beliefs that this is better. They might even want to try to explain why this is so.
But then if you don't want to be preached at what is wrong or right... I suppose you can only take it in a negative way....

MrsLouisTheroux Thu 21-Feb-13 07:55:21

No, BF is not always easier than FF. Cheaper yes, but not always easier.

The gallons of water/ chemicals/ electricity used to wash reusables make a bit less environmentally friendly than people make out. Especially if they are not done at home and are collected and redelivered by a company in their van.
Disposables are not environmentally friendly.

It's the virtuous ones who try and make out they're better mothers because of the way they do things who annoy me.

Emilythornesbff Thu 21-Feb-13 08:00:50

I think YAbu, based on my own experience.
I use disposable nappies. My best friend used reusables and she never crowed about it. She did explain her reasons for doing so and I can't escape the fact that disposables make a massive contribution to land fill.
I bf both my children. It's best for them, and the only banging on I ever hear is from mothers who ff, Criticising my choices.
So I guess it's different for everyone.

Another thing... It amuses me when people state that cloth nappies do this or cloth nappies do that - have yo u seen how many different styles there are?! It's like saying I don't bother buying clothes because I bought some once and they didn't fit.

Also, to Tatty - microfibre feel dry against the skin and you can buy all in one styles so you don't have to do waterproof pants over the top.

I'm not proselytising, but I can't let inaccuracies stand, it's just too damn irritating.

And something else...if you use too much detergent to wash nappies it affects absorbency. Most cloth using mums I know use eco balls or eco eggs, so no chemicals.
So yes, we use lots of water, but that's not really something the uk is short of and out house came with solar panels which helps with the electricity use, so I allow myself to feel eco smug for using cloth nappies, but as previously stated that's not why I do it...grin

maddening Thu 21-Feb-13 08:10:30

I use disposable nappies - aware reusable would be better.

But have not noticed any "crew" or been made to feel bad for my choice.

So yabu - just as others make a different choice doesn't mean they are judging yours. I bf but don't judge others choices -in rl see no angst but on forums it will be parents who ff taking offence to people bf and stating their reasons for it.

MiaowTheCat Thu 21-Feb-13 08:12:34

Do what the fuck you all like with your kids - but leave me to do the same. I don't WANT to be preached at, ridiculed, belittled or lectured to by total strangers sticking their nose into my business - that tends to lead to large amounts of resentment - but funnily certain types of vigilante seem to see it as their mission to force everyone onto the same parenting page as themselves (which I always think is born out of more than a little bit of insecurity about their own choices really).

Some acceptance that not everyone has the same set of circumstances regarding boobs and baby managing to co-operate, houses with drying facilities to sort out reuseable nappies etc goes a long way as well as well... not that anyone needs to justify what they are/aren't doing to the parental pointing and judging gallery.

DesiderataHollow Thu 21-Feb-13 08:14:37

I both breast fed, and used cloth nappies because I am horribly lazy and terminally broke. I co-slept for the same reason.

I couldn't care less what you do. HTH.

Carolra Thu 21-Feb-13 08:16:39

We use washable nappies and they are a PITA smile The landfill issue with disposable nappies bothers me, I have this image of future generations wading through 500 year old nappies. But its a personal choice and it wouldn't cross my mind to mention it unless someone asks me why we use them and then I tell them the truth, what they choose to do with that is nothing I have any control over. I did the maths and they do work out cheaper in the long run, especially if you use them for more than one dc, each to their own. Didn't breastfeed because I couldn't, would have loved to, but I did enjoy the benefits of bottle feeding, not sure DH felt the same ;)

MrsLouisTheroux Thu 21-Feb-13 08:17:50

miaw Well said! grin

TandB Thu 21-Feb-13 08:22:46

I use cloth nappies and slings and, while I've never heard anyone have a go at anyone for disposables and buggies, I've had a fair bit of grief over the last 3 1/2 years over my "alternative" choices.

As soon as you do anything that's not considered the norm, it seems to be complete open season for anyone to have a pop at you.

So if you're basing your rant on one person having a go at you, I think you'll probably get over it!

One thing about the environmetal benefits though - I don't understand the arguments about "oh well, but you use cars/planes etc). There isn't just one environmental issue to think about - there are loads. Using cloth nappies won't reduce your emmissions - but it will reduce your landfill contribution. So if everyone used cloth nappies, in 50 years we'd still have various other environmental issues to worry about, but overflowing landfill would be less of an issue.

DisposableNappy Thu 21-Feb-13 08:30:06

miaow <applauds>

Smudging Thu 21-Feb-13 08:34:13

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

elliejjtiny Thu 21-Feb-13 08:49:41

I mostly did breastfeeding with a bit of formula and did about half and half cloth and disposables (depending on how many children in nappies at the time and what trousers they are wearing).

I've never had any comments about nappies other than the general discussions about which ones leak and people asking me where I got DS3's leopard print cloth nappy.

With breastfeeding I felt like I had criticism from both sides. I had a poorly FTT DS2 who was struggling to suck properly. I was expressing milk and pouring it down his NG tube, still trying to breastfeed him and giving him a bit of high calorie prescription formula. I had people who breastfed telling me to just breastfeed him and ignore the HV, paed, dietician etc. Formula feeders were telling me I was making a rod for my own back. The house was a tip because I literally spent all day either feeding DS2 or attatched to a breastpump. It was awful and I felt like whatever I did it would be wrong.

DC4 has been diagnosed with a cleft lip and the first thing I thought was I'll have to go through that mix feeding nightmare again.

PurplePidjin Thu 21-Feb-13 08:54:19

"harming the environment and that reusables are so easy and "kinder" to use"

These are facts not opinions (I've crossed out the opinion) due to the chemicals involved in manufacture.

I've been using cloth, and slings, for my entire 3 month parenting experience. I get an embarrassing amount of questions and often end up unintentionally dominating the conversation at baby groups. That's from other people curious about my choices because of the lack of information available. Luckily, we have an excellent children's centre who have asked me to set up a group to discuss this, with

You get zealots in all walks of life. Ever met an ex smoker? Or a religious convert?

FanjoForTheMammaries Thu 21-Feb-13 08:58:52

YABU for calling people a "crew" like they are some homogenous mass..

Although at least you didn't call them a "brigade" wink

ChunkyPickle Thu 21-Feb-13 09:15:16

My sister is a cloth nappier (and wiper!), but doesn't try to convert me - I think that most people are happy with their own choices, and the worst they'd do is let you know that there other options out there.

I tried it, and it wasn't for me.. or rather it wasn't for DS who could dirty (that's dirty, not wee) a dozen nappies in a day, and the washing machine only managed to get them partially clean (still stained yellow!) unless I used bleach/a boil wash which seemed to miss the whole point of it all.

Oh, plus our rubbish was incinerated, so I had no landfill guilt to get over.

Zealots are the issue, not whatever they're so enthusiastic about.

YABU OP. Sounds like you have a chip on your shoulder to feel so defensive about your choices/lack of choices.

Trying to twist things to see if you can get those who have made different choices to be defensive themselves - why?

IME, hippy mums are more 'live and let live' than most and placing some misguided blame on them for your own unnecessary guilt is a bit strange.

maddening Thu 21-Feb-13 09:25:26

And agree with shagmund re guilt

saycheeeeeese Thu 21-Feb-13 09:26:06

I considered reusable nappies but my baby was a winter baby so I'd have the tumble dryer on constantly, no environmental benefit really because we burn the wet nappies in our wood burner and only the stinky ones get binned.

I have never felt that people who use reusuables are oushy, in fact I've never met a pushy breast feeder either, I've onky come across these people online where perhaps people are just a little less inhibited about telling others their POV.

Try not to get your knickers twisted over it, these people's children are not yours so who cares grin

saycheeeeeese Thu 21-Feb-13 09:26:55

I considered reusable nappies but my baby was a winter baby so I'd have the tumble dryer on constantly, no environmental benefit really because we burn the wet nappies in our wood burner and only the stinky ones get binned.

I have never felt that people who use reusuables are oushy, in fact I've never met a pushy breast feeder either, I've onky come across these people online where perhaps people are just a little less inhibited about telling others their POV.

Try not to get your knickers twisted over it, these people's children are not yours so who cares grin

BiddyPop Thu 21-Feb-13 09:27:07

I BF and used reusables. Neither exclusively (well, bf initially but then shared as I couldn't get enough expressed for creche - but we shared until 9 months). Creche also wouldn't use reusables (DD went into creche at 3 months) as too much hassle. That was fine as it WAS a lot of hassle for me too!!

I did it mostly for environmental reasons, and admittedly the new reusables are a LOT easier than the old terry squares my mum had used (and she also wasn't exclusive).

But at the same time, it wasn't that hard, when I was already doing a fair amount of washing and the nappies could go on the line.

BF was for trying to do my best for DD, convenience, and it's what I was used to seeing at home (at least initially - there were bottles at some point).

If I was asked, I would say what we were doing, and if someone was interested, I'd show them the nappies. But I certainly never was evangelistic about them - each to their own.

(That siad, I know a good few who were VERY strong on bf, reusables, growing own veg and using organic food, lots of them were veggie too - whereas I enjoy a good steak, grow some veg but shower it in slug pellets to get to eat some of it, only buy organic on occasion, will drink plenty of red wine with my steak, and know I make lots and lots of mistakes among the occasional things I do right for DD and the big wide world! Oh, and I bought a car after DD was born and now drive everywhere when I used to be the queen of public transport - so there is definite ofsetting of my good efforts going on! hmm grin)

saycheeeeeese Thu 21-Feb-13 09:27:47

Sorry accidentally posted twice confused

maddening Thu 21-Feb-13 09:34:20

Ps yes as a society we should be making more effort - we should feel bad if we flick cigarette ends (or any litter), we should make better and more informed choices.

We won't get everything right but we should try - guilt is natural - it helps society pull in vaguely the right (at that time) direction - if you choose to take a different direction then that is your choice but it may come with a level of guilt - whether that is acceptable to you is your choice.

I don't see others talking about their choices as preaching - surely it's just sharing - you don't have to listen - if you feel guilty maybe you care more than you think.

MummytoMog Thu 21-Feb-13 10:16:26

Burning nappies? That sounds like a terrible idea. And I don't understand why you need to get reusables sparkly white either, they're going to get pooed on. So long as they're clean (and they can be stained and still clean), then what's the big deal? However many cloth bummers get totally worked up about getting them sparkly white, I'm just not one of them. For what it's worth, a 60 degree wash with biological and soda crystals works perfectly well on my flat terries.

youmaycallmeSSP Thu 21-Feb-13 11:11:04

The only person who has ever tried to force their parenting choices onto me was DH's cousin who told me that I must put 2wo DS onto a bottle and put baby rice in his bedtime feed to make him sleep through. She went on and on and on while I smiled, nodded and wished she would shut up and then got all offended because I wouldn't say I would do it. The conversation ended with the words "Next time I see that baby I want to see him on For.Mu.La." She hasn't seen him in the past 3 years for some odd reason grin

Wibblytummy Thu 21-Feb-13 11:51:31

We do a mix of reusable and disposable at night or for a tummy bug. For us the reusable just hold my sons poonamis better and even with the nappy washes I found I was doing less washing than if I used pampers in the day, thanks to my DS's long and tall frame that meant poo would always leak no matter the brand. I would never try to force them on others though or imply they were better but I would also sing their praises if someone asked me about them.

Tallgiraffe Thu 21-Feb-13 11:52:03

Can I ask you OP what you wanted from this thread? You don't seem prepared to hear anyone else's opinion or accept that some people have made different choices to you.

Live and let live...

nickelbabe Thu 21-Feb-13 12:25:56

I'm not convinced that you hate cloth nappy wearers as much as you're making out.

My comment last night was because I was on my phone and couldn't be arsed to type out a full comment.

My point is:
We use cloth nappies for DD - she has never got nappy rash, she is comfortable in them and it's great.
They're not cheap to buy, but they are dead easy to look after, and they don't fill up our bin at a rate of knots like 'sposies

I am not middle class, in fact I'm pretty poor, working class. I breastfeed my baby, not because I want to prove a point to the world, but because I CAN

So, in answer to your OP, YABU and being very short-sighted (and also seem to be good at worrying about other people's problems )

nickelbabe Thu 21-Feb-13 12:42:35

"blessyou, I bet you I don't do more harm than a massive 4x4 or pick up truck does going up the M1 when I chuck a disposable nappy in the bin. "

I live 10 minutes' walk away from the town centre, where I work.

we only ever use our (hatchback) car when we really need to - so probably once or twice a week.
And very rarely for long journeys.

weegiemum Thu 21-Feb-13 12:53:30

I was one of both those "crews". I've clocked up 5 years of bf with 3 dc and I used washable nappies. It was no bother really, an extra wash on at bedtime every 2nd night and as we used fleece wraps/stuffables they dried easily.

We chose reusables partly for environmental reasons (we lived on a small island with limited landfill options when dc were small) and partly because when our dc were born pretty much every decent disposable was impregnated with bum cream that brought me out in hives. Dd2 was also allergic to almost all disposables - one day in them and her skin started to break down. When she was 16 months and ds was just over 3 (plus older toilet trained dd1) we spent 3 weeks backpacking with the dc in Central America, washing nappies as we went!

If you want to use reusables/breastfeed (which has actual tangible personal benefits) then you will. If you don't, that's your choice.

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 21-Feb-13 13:13:59

They can be cheap.

Under £80.00 for 20 plus £6.99 for a bucket

That's cheaper than 12 weeks worth of disposables.

You can also get a free trial kit from wwf and some wildlife scheme just give them to you after a trial and loads of local councils offer a cash back scheme when you buy them of between £20 and £50 so keep the invoice/ receipt and they just give ou that money back.

You don't need a tumble dryer an airer indoors in winter (I have one attached to a ceiling in a warm room) or outdoors in sunshine works fine.

nickelbabe Thu 21-Feb-13 13:24:47

We didn't buy a bucket, we put our dirties in the bath - wet ones straight in, and pooey ones go in a washing up bowl with water.

We don't always do a full wash of nappies, we can wash loads of other things in with them (especially towels, underwear and DH's work shirts)
and we dry them on the bannister.

nickelbabe Thu 21-Feb-13 13:28:33

now, we were given a load of 'sposie nappies when DD was born, some in a larger size.
We always intended to do cloth, so we never used the larger size.
I had to go away for the weekend with DD, and decided to try 'sposies for the weekend so we didn't have as much luggage. I tried one out a few days before just to make sure that i could use them okay, and she had one on about 2 hours and the stench!!!!!! shock euuuuuwwwwwwwwww. Even without going up close to her bum, it reeked! She's only done a couple of wees in it - no poo, and I couldn't even bear to go near her to change it. The smell was even worse when I took it off.

We never get smells that bad from cloth nappies, and they do seem to be more absorbent.
You can't even tell when she's done a poo unless you get right up close (ie put her bum to your nose) to whiff it (You can tell because she cries from the lump)
and we put an extra booster in at night and a cloth nappy is perfectly happy for 10 hours.

saycheeeeeese Thu 21-Feb-13 14:35:06

mummytomog yes I open the door, throw the nappies in, shut the door and they burn, don't see what's so hmm about that, better than sending to landfill and they burn away completely.

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 21-Feb-13 14:52:15

Nickel,what did you bath in?

Startail Thu 21-Feb-13 14:57:13

BFing only can take a lot of time actually feeding, but it's a lot less hassle in every other way, especially when going out (and yes I've done both).

Reusable nappies just look like an insane amount of work, DSIL had them drying everywhere.

nickelbabe Thu 21-Feb-13 14:59:51

sock - the nappies are only there for a couple days, but if we need to bath (or shower), they get dumped in a pile for the duration.

sorry, need to address these points...

There is no point making a nappy biodegradable if it is going to end up in a landfill. They have found lettuce preserved in landfills and lettuce usually decomposes very quickly (my fridge drawer is proof of that!).

IMO reusables does reduce emissions, because of the manufacturing involved with disposables.

Leakage, yeah I've had cloth nappies leak. I've also had huggies and pampers leak. It is all about finding one that fits your baby right. I had one nanny charge who always leaked in huggies, yet my older son had splats up the back in pampers.

You don't need to bleach yellow nappies. Simply sit it on a windowsill (or dry outside if weather allows) and the yellow goes.

As for washing being work, more effort, more water etc, think about using that justification for any other reusable object we use and think of the alternative and think about how silly that sounds. Imagine a friend who only wears socks once and gets new ones, disposable paper clothes, only ever using plastic plates and cutlery and then throwing it away. If you knew someone who did that wouldn't you think it was a tad wasteful?

I'm really not trying to convince anyone but like someone upthread it feels wrong to have these things being said and no one answering them. I mainly did cloth for DS#2 out of curiosity but had no choice but to continue because he broke out really badly in disposables.

nethunsreject Thu 21-Feb-13 15:01:06

I didn't know there was a crew I could join. Sweeping judgement op!

Saycheese, I think the plastic burning and releasing fumes into the atmosphere would worry me about the nappy burning.

saycheeeeeese Thu 21-Feb-13 15:05:20

Well...you're dammed if you do or don't, I don't have the time or inclination for reusables so that's that.

I did try reusables with DD. Unfortunately, they gave her the most horrendous nappy rash. sad

MummytoMog Thu 21-Feb-13 15:46:53

We live in a clean air area, so we are pretty careful about what we put in our woodburner anyway, not too much paper to light it, no cardboard etc etc. I dread to think what the chemicals in disposables would do when burning firstly to my chimney liner, secondly to the environment and thirdly to the inside of my stove!

Sposies do reek, it's true. They gave DS a rash, but then EVERYTHING gave DS a nappy rash, wipes, sposies, resusables, fleece liners, sudacrem, everything. The only thing that worked was metanium. I guess his bum must have hardened up eventually, but it was a bloody (literally) nightmare.

Mummytomog, we had a bit of that too. Until I figured out that fleece and wool made everything worse and DS was allergic to almost every soap and detergent. We found one that worked and switched to cashmere (I kid you not ) liners that I made from a charity store skirt! He just screamed like his head was being cut off in disposables until I took them off (about a minute later) and they left a horrible rash.

BourbonsandTea Thu 21-Feb-13 15:54:50

YABU because you have lumped lots of people into 2 groups and called them all hysterical.
Some people, like yourself, seem to get upset when other people choose different parenting styles to them and then, God forbid! actually tell them about it. It's all a bit silly really. If your best mate told you she'd found a brilliant face moisturiser then told you all the reasons she thought it was so great for her, would you think she was insulting you for using your favoured moisturiser?

curryeater Thu 21-Feb-13 16:04:42

Don't be stupid, OP. You don't have to hate everyone who makes you feel guilty, or that you are not perfect.
I don't use cloth nappies. I just don't have the energy for the laundry. I know it would be better if I did, but I don't, and I admire those who do. I feel a bit guilty, but it is not their fault that I feel bad. I feel bad when I forget someone's birthday, I feel bad when I snap at my children, I feel bad when I slack off at work. It is not my automatic right to feel great all the time no matter what I do or don't do. same for you. so get over it.

digerd Thu 21-Feb-13 16:06:41

Mum and dad had friends to stay for a week and I visited with DD, put an enormous disposable nappy down the loo and blocked it. They all had to go to the public toilets a mile away until a plumber could come to clear it. It was the first time I had used a disposable, in the olden days when they were new and had always used the towelling nappies before. Never disposed of a disposable in the loo again.

IneedAsockamnesty Thu 21-Feb-13 16:24:37

But why on earth did you think it would flush away?

bumperella Thu 21-Feb-13 22:55:35

IMO landfill is so shockingly appalling for the environment (methane is v powerful greenhouse gas, aside from anything else) that using washables is the right thing to do for her future, and for the future of your children, too, even if you can't be arsed finding out about them.

Might just be my DD, but her disposables STINK after she's had a wee in them. They leak as readily as washables (they jsut don't fit right, whereas birth-to-potty washables are more adjustable). Fleece inners are ace -dry quick, keep her dry. I have 2 bin liners made out of cheap voile curtains, so I bung the nappies in a pedal bin, then stick them in the wash in their voile bin-liner, so it isn't a nasty mucky business (no worse than taking nappies out to wheelie bin would be).
I agree that having children at all is apalling for environment. Also agree tht some washable nappies are RUBBISH.

Doubletroublemummy2 Thu 21-Feb-13 23:02:08

it's not th ones that happily go about there business doing their own thing, it's the ones who want to tell you what a terrible human being you are and how you are dstroying the planet and ruining human genetics that get under my skin, especially when they have kids hanging off them with number 7 or 8 on the way!! how is using disposable nappies for two babies worse for the planet than adding six more "organic" humans?!!?

Shagmundfreud Thu 21-Feb-13 23:14:28

Double - I suggest playing these people at their own game if they are hypocrites.

Tell them to stop fucking breeding!

Doubletroublemummy2 Thu 21-Feb-13 23:21:49

I have to admit though, i used disposable for my twin girls. Before they where born we spent a tonne of money on some bamboo fancy shaped things. the girl where born early and tiny and the nappies where huge!! so we got some premie dispoables. by the time they where big enough I tried the reusable ones for a couple of weeks but I couldn't get them to dry!! so eventually I ditch they whole idea and just stuck with disposables. i really hated the price and the stink of the disposables. If I had to do it again i would probably just try the old fashioned terry nappies and would probably have been better off. I don't feel guilty about my choices, I do miss the cash though smile

Doubletroublemummy2 Thu 21-Feb-13 23:23:49

because shagmund they are as entitled to breed as I am to use disposable nappies wink

sleepyhead Thu 21-Feb-13 23:37:50

Where do you all live that you keep coming across people banging on about breastfeeding and reusable nappies? confused

I can categorically say that in 6 years of parenthood I have never had anyone talk about nappies of any stripe to me. I can't think of any topic more dull.

(and I say this as one of those dreadful bf/reusable people - and <horror> mooncup wearer, but jeez, I don't trouble myself to converse about these topics with acquaintances as a general rule because it is very , very , boring)

Shagmundfreud Thu 21-Feb-13 23:51:05

Of course they are.

And you're entitled to lecture them about why they should stop doing it. grin

OxfordBags Fri 22-Feb-13 00:01:07

Still not getting why breastfeeding without supplementing with formula is hysterical. Makes it sound like formula is the way you're supposed to do it, but a hardcore group of weirdos insist on the crazed notion of just wapping a tit out, or that formula is a given as an essential part of feeding a baby hmm

I do not care what milk delivery system other parents use for their baby, I do not care what they collect their piss and shit in. It's boring. Everyone just does what works best for their family, who gives a rat's arse what anyone else does? Yes, a few smug bores like to drone on, but there are far more chip-on-shoulder merchants ( stares pointedly at the OP ) who wrongly perceive that anyone doing things differently is automatically passing judgement on them as inferior. Instead of whinging and making other people feel oddly guilty for just going about their day, why not address whatever issues make their self-esteem so worryingly fragile?

sandylion Fri 22-Feb-13 07:31:32

I use cloth. I'm a lazy fucker. I would never comment to anyone irl about their choice, it's none of my business. I do judge inwardly the people who don't give a shit that billions of
nappies end up in landfill each year. I mean how can you not care about that? Also I think people how do not flush solid poo are revolting. confused

IvorHughJangova Fri 22-Feb-13 08:14:35

I'm not bothered either way; not very interested in what other people do that's different to me, and I couldn't give a shiny shit what anyone else thought of choices I've made about what precisely my son is going to shit in. However, I will say that the only thing that turned me off using re-usables was that a friend with a baby six months older than mine did so and her lovely house - usually v clean etc - stank of piss. For months. Heave-making. I am sure that this was down to poor nappy management on her part, or an old nappy bucket or something <boak> but it really turned me off the idea.

OxfordBags Fri 22-Feb-13 10:20:27

Sandy, I was called a skank by some woman at one of my Ds's toddler groups for flushing his solid poos down the loo (she was moaning about having to bag his nappies and take them out to the bin all the time so the house didn't stink of shit, so I suggested she flushed the crap) hmm Went on to say that was disgusting; when I politely pointed out that toddler poo isn't as disgusting a giant adult turd in the pan, she just walked off tutting.

People be crazy.

BlackMaryJanes Fri 22-Feb-13 10:34:31

It's not really on the same level as breastfeeding. Having a disposable nappy isn't going to give your child lifelong health consequences.

MostlyLovingLurchers Fri 22-Feb-13 11:06:03

The Environment Agency did a detailed study on the environmental impact of disposable v reusable nappies (updated report 2008) - reuseables can have a lower or higher environmental impact depending on how they are laundered - if you wash at high temps and tumble dry you can negate the benefit of lower manufacturing and waste disposal impact. You can also reduce the longterm landfill impact of disposables by using a biodegradable brand. The environmental impact is not a black and white issue.

nickelbabe Fri 22-Feb-13 11:17:26

grin that people think that flushing a nappy poo down the loo is disgusting!!
what is wrong with people?!
what do they think their own poos are made of?

OxfordBags Fri 22-Feb-13 11:18:12

Glitter and rainbow kisses, apparently, nickelbabe grin

nickelbabe Fri 22-Feb-13 11:18:32

grin

ophelia275 Fri 22-Feb-13 11:25:07

Being the nerd that I am, I am keeping a spreadsheet of all the disposable nappies I am buying and how much they have cost (I buy in bulk and I buy on offer). So far my 2.5 year old has cost me about the same or less in disposable nappies than any of the reusable nappy birth to potty sets. I also do not pay for the extra washing that using reusables costs. I am not convinced by the whole eco argument and think they are more a fashion statement than anything. Besides if you are really obsessed with the environmental issue you can get eco disposable nappies now which bio-degrade fairly well and are not that expensive.

It is funny how you get lumped in with a 'brigade' if you choose to do certain things.

I EBF till DD was 16 months (after a very rough start where DD was tube fed in NICU); use cloth nappies and reusable wipes, and I even carry her about in a sling (she's 2 now). But I couldn't really give a fuck what anyone else wants to do. I genuinely don't care if you use disposables/reusables, FF or BF, or how you get your kid from A to B. It's up to you, isn't it?

I had a few conversations with people before she was born, where people tried to make me feel really shit and naive about wanting to use cloth nappies (MIL, I'm looking at you here). I used disposables for the first few weeks as I figured we'd have enough to get to grips with, and then we've used reusables ever since. I find them pretty easy, or at least I'm used to the extra washing etc. It's trickier in winter, definitely. But I don't mind.

It's just a choice you make, isn't it? Like, what to call your child, how you do bedtimes, weaning, etc etc. It doesn't matter what other people do.

The problem is when people get evangelical and really bloody annoying about it. I did BLW for instance. And there were so many people going on about how it was the best thing for your baby EVER. And a whole load of other people going on about how it was just called finger foods in their day, and how we were all jumped-up madams and fools for daring to say we were doing it. And then a whole load of other people going on about how babies weren't meant to eat solid food like that, and that in the wild mother animals chew up food for their babies (I'm looking at you FIL). And I just kept thinking, why on earth do you all care? Just get on with your own lives and sort out your own babies. Ditto to those banging on about how formula is evil/people who BF are self-righteous wankers; baby-wearing is the only thing to do/people with slings are lentil-weaving wafty types; cloth-bummed little babies are better for the whole world/if you lived in the real world you'd use Pampers...etc etc etc.

Ooh, that felt good to get out. Essentially, why do we not all just mind our own business?

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 22-Feb-13 11:58:16

Most reusables do not need to be washed at high temps most modern manufactures say up to 40.

Ophelia where can you get that many disposables for £80. because I was just about to get a kit for a friend as a gift I know she would prefer disposables if I can get those for the same price then I will but those for her instead.

sleepyhead Fri 22-Feb-13 12:06:19

I've only had two encounters in real life with people who have ranted at me for any of my parenting choices (as opposed to making little passive aggressive digs which is par for the course re: anything less than mainstream). They were:

1. Crazy lady who lambasted me at a bus stop for having baby ds in a sling because "if you tripped near some railings you could impale him".

2. My aunt who was desperate, absolutely desperate for 5 month old ds to have a sausage. I mean like completely raving loony insisting that he was starving (he wasn't crying or doing anything to make her think this) and it was cruel not to have weaned him by now, and by 5 months her children were eating meat and two veg and she could tell that ds was dying to have a sook on this bloody sausage.

Otherwise, no bunfights about ff v bf or reusable v disposable or weaning at 12 weeks v 26 weeks or puree v finger food etc etc etc.

Do you think my aunt is part of some weird sausage brigade who are out to make non-sausage feeding mummies feel guilty?

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 22-Feb-13 12:14:50

everybody

About 17/18 years ago I had a client who I attended a CP meeting with. the biggest issue highlighted during the meeting was her use of what now is known as BLW apparently she lacked knowledge or insight into how she should feed her baby and it was a risk.she had to agree to using purée food.

I must admit to reminding the sw about this when we had lunch last year, at least she had the good grace to look sheepish but apparently back then it was a concern.

Just goes to show how view points change

Sockreturningpixie gosh, that's incredible. And one I'll have to remember if any anti-BLW (I mean in the sense of, we've always done that, you youngsters haven't thought it up etc etc) get going in my vicinity.

sleepyhead I am howling at "she could tell that ds was dying to have a sook on this bloody sausage". Definitely part of the pro-sausage brigade.

I must admit that most of my experience of people being pro/anti anything parenting related is online, apart from my PIL (who are absolutely lovely, btw, just somewhat...opinionated. And to be fair, they did back off after DH asked them to) and a few totally random loons. And I did make the mistake of going to a slingmeet once, that was a mistake.

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 22-Feb-13 12:22:01

Sleepyhead.

I had that almost constantly from older family members with food.much hand wringing and talk of starvation,if I said no to one food item usually some sort of pudding they would jump in with "ok can he have a bit of this then" this started when he was about 8 weeks old.

It made me want to reduce the time we went there because it was so draining they never stopped.

Thumbwitch Fri 22-Feb-13 12:27:38

YABU to assume that everyone who bf's or uses cloth nappies = hysterical.

I do both but couldn't give a shit what you choose to do.

Rootvegetables Fri 22-Feb-13 12:53:07

What a massive generalisation, I breast feed and use washable nappies, I don't imagine anyone else cares for a second and am certainly not hysterical about it.

I chose cloth nappies because I hate landfill - hate thinking that nappies will be sitting there for another 500 years or so. I recycle everything else, so why not use cloth? But, they're not for everyone.

Also...dont' think that people realise just how easy cloth is these days. No more terry nappies with giant pins, smelly nappy bins or days of washing. It is a lot easier than you think, and many cloth nappies are designed to be very easy to wash and store while dirty. I do love my cloth, but wouldn't think you were a rubbish parent for not using them.

Oh, and it's not a 'fashion statement' for me, seeing as you can't see the nappies under baby's clothes.

TheFallenNinja Fri 22-Feb-13 13:16:48

Both are personal choices that seem to warrant public commentary by opponents of each camp.

Not sure why, do whatever you like.

WitchOfEndor Fri 22-Feb-13 13:29:13

Saying "it doesn't take extra time or energy" hardly sounds like hysteria. I dislike the use of the word hysteria to describe things that a woman (never a man) is passionate about. Reminds me of the 'Women, know your place' sketch from Harry Enfield that someone linked to recently.

YABU for that.

Thumbwitch Fri 22-Feb-13 13:54:28

Just read back a bit - I think sometimes it does bear discussion without being boring because sometimes there is a mum at playgroup who would have liked to try it but wasn't sure how, where to go, which were the best ones etc.
Just last week one mum was really excited (I know, poor woman must have ^no life^) to discover that I used cloth nappies as she'd bought some commercial ones but was having troubles working out how to use them. She'd used terry squares on her first, but then disposables on the next 2 and now with the 4th wanted to use cloth again but wasn't sure what got washed, what had to be changed every time etc.

Quick discussion between her and 2 of us who use cloth nappies, sorted. Imagine if she'd thought she didn't want to bore any of us with the question - she'd still be at a loss.

sleepyhead Fri 22-Feb-13 14:18:41

Well that's fine Thumbwitch, because you were being polite and asking a question, but you were putting yourself in the risky position of the op being in earshot and the very mention of cloth filling her with angst and guilt.

If everyone would just be normal, like the op, we'd be much better off and people wouldn't have to ask these nasty questions and put other people's sensibilities at risk.

sleepyhead Fri 22-Feb-13 14:19:49

asking answering.

Although don't ask, don't tell is safest to avoid being perceived as part of a brigade.

Thumbwitch Fri 22-Feb-13 14:31:28

grin at the idea of a secret underground movement of bf and cloth nappy using! Furtive changing and feeding, then discovering that others are furtively doing the same, all in separate corners - hahaha!

whathellcall Fri 22-Feb-13 16:00:42

Am I being unreasonable to think that the "disposable nappy crew" are on a par with the "formula feeding crew" when it comes to hysteria

They both come out with that old chestnut "it doesn't really make any difference" and "they only do it to be smug and make us feel bad about using reusable nappies, the same way those formula feeding mad mothers do"

Yabu for the blatent judginess of your post.

Disclaimer I use disposables for personal lazyreasons.

I also bf for personal lazy reasons, though am not part of any "crew" that I'm aware of confused

nickelbabe Fri 22-Feb-13 16:37:25

Witch - that's because the word hysteria either comes from or makes the word root of hyster - women's parts (greek for uterus)

Theicingontop Fri 22-Feb-13 16:45:22

I used reusables with DS, and they were a massive, massive pita. Oh god I hated them so much.

DS didn't fit into the birth-to-potty pack I'd bought for SIX MONTHS, so I had to buy disposables until then anyway, and when he finally fit in them I found them to be a bloody nightmare. None of his clothes fit, his mobility was reduced from the bulk of them (and I bought a top of the range kit, that professed to be the slimmest-fit and lightest weight reusable nappy available - yeah, right) and the drying time sometimes took two days if I didn't tumble dry them, which was what was advised to 'extend the life of the bamboo cotton'.

I'm going to try again with number two, but I'm going to make my own this time.

But, OP, I can't say I've ever experienced what you're complaining about. In fact I was given the hmm face from my friends when I did say that I was going reusable. "What, you're going to have POO in your WASHING MACHINE? You're disgusting!!!" - I'd say there's more judgement from the other side.

AmberSocks Fri 22-Feb-13 16:49:15

i use washable nappies and have for all of mine,except when i had 3 under 2 all i nappies,that was a bit much.

I like them,i like that i dot have to worry if ive ran out of nappies(although i do still have to make sure i have clean ones)

they also look super cute in them,ad i imagine they feel nicer on a babies soft little bum.

nickelbabe Fri 22-Feb-13 17:33:01

icing - i assume those friends also throw away the vests when they've had a pooplosion....

TheBigJessie Fri 22-Feb-13 17:40:08

OxfordBags:
"Yes, a few smug bores like to drone on, but there are far more chip-on-shoulder merchants ^( stares pointedly at the OP )^"

This.

WitchOfEndor Fri 22-Feb-13 18:01:46

Thanks nickelbabe for explaining where the word comes from.

It still doesn't make me like it when people use it in a pejorative way against women who are just holding an opinion!

crocoldile Fri 22-Feb-13 18:12:17

I was part of the reusable nappy 'crew' because it worked for me and was a damn sight cheaper than putting my twins in disposables.
I was also never part of the breast feeding 'crew' because I never wanted to do it.
The two 'crews' do not always go hand in hand!

OutsideOverThere Fri 22-Feb-13 18:23:09

Oh I did the reuseables with ds1. It's a hard water area and they resembled concrete within a few months. Poor ds.

I kept going for ages. I kept them to use for any more babies...did it for about a week with ds2 and ds3 hasn't even seen what one looks like.

However I did breastfeed ds2 till he was at school - hmm. I like to think I'm not militant about anything really...lots of people are a mish mash of different things OP, don't get so worked up.

Fwiw I bumped into a friend the other day who is using formula with her fourth after 3 kids she breastfed - she said it is so much easier. I can't imagine it being easier - I run out of plates daily, I'd run out of bottles just the same. But if it works then bloody go for it.

PurplePidjin Fri 22-Feb-13 18:39:01

Tbh, i find it a lot easier to bung on an extra nappy wash every couple of days than to drag a baby plus a giant bag of nappies plus a pushchair plus a changing bag plus whatever other shopping back from town and up the stairs to my flat.

Be a different matter if i lived in a big posh house and drove to the supermarket hmm

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 22-Feb-13 21:35:10

For anybody that's interested in a hard water area nappy stripping will get rid of the stiffness in the nappies as will using a ecoegg instead of detergent

iwantanafternoonnap Fri 22-Feb-13 21:41:44

I couldn't breastfeed as nearly died in childbirth and massive complications after. Bottle feeding as a faff and more work. I used reusable nappies and did not find them much more work tbh.

I felt extremely judged because I didn't breastfeed. Reusables are very bad for the environment and yes I do feel good that I used reusables but haven't made any judgements on those that don't but I will always say how great they were. My DS was potty trained at 19-20 months as wellwink

nickelbabe Fri 22-Feb-13 22:09:25

oh, witch I hate it too.!

nickelbabe Fri 22-Feb-13 22:12:13

I hope it was just how you felt and not that you actually were jydged nap
sad

Oh yes nap - every cloth bum baby I know is potty trained sooner. My 10 month old has just started pooing on the potty. Smug

JollyGolightly Fri 22-Feb-13 22:43:40

I think you should work on being secure in your own choices; then you can be happy for others who enjoy the choices they have made. This will feel nicer than being all cross.

elizaregina Fri 22-Feb-13 23:03:31

I am sure some studies have been done and hushed up that actuallyu there isnt that much in it when it comes to disposable and cloth. Even at 30 O.

I often wonder if there arnt some people who are more toxic just being them, to the planet than anything else they could possibly do.

IneedAsockamnesty Fri 22-Feb-13 23:29:24

Eliza most of the studies done are readily available online

I am sure some studies have been done and hushed up that actually

Yes, by the mighty cloth nappy lobby hmm

Aethelfleda Fri 22-Feb-13 23:58:54

OP, YABU. I assume that the judgey pants you are wearing today are actually reuseable ones? Yep, thought so. Let me cloth bum my baby If I want to, without it undermining you.

<strokes the troll>

Illustrationaddict Sat 23-Feb-13 00:01:47

With having admittedly only read a few of the posts, I use disposable, BUT I figure that you use loads of electricity and chemicals washing reusable ones, and also is your baby more prone to nappy rash with reusables? if you're gonna pollute either way, take the easy option I reckon!

Anyway I was wondering, is there a way they could be incinerated in a council nappy collection service? Or is this worse again for the environment?

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 23-Feb-13 00:19:07

No nappy rash is not more common with reusables

Illustrationaddict Sat 23-Feb-13 00:36:30

I'm just going on my mums experience, she said my brothers & I always got it quite badly, but she's noticed her grandchildren who have all had disposables have not had it which I can confirm for my dd. maybe she didn't change us fast enough?

JollyGolightly Sat 23-Feb-13 03:33:02

Illustration, that is quite likely. Nappy rash is caused by poo and wee together in contact with the skin, which can happen in any sort of nappy if it isn't changed fast enough. DS1 was a stealth pooer when he was younger so he sometimes got a rash before I realised he had performed.

Thumbwitch Sat 23-Feb-13 03:37:40

Visualise, I had DS1 in cloth until he could dress himself but he'd been in disposables overnight for a while by then - but he wasn't toilet-trained until he was 3.9. I think I put him in pull-ups when he was about 3.4 but I can't actually remember blush. So, not all cloth-users toilet train early. smile

PolkadotCircus Sat 23-Feb-13 07:30:39

I tried washables with my twins and after detergent,washing,liners,creams and drying there was nothing in it. It is bad for health to have loads of wet things hanging around so I had to use a dryer,I would only use Ecover which is £££££vetc,etc.

Unless you use a nappy washing agency there isn't enough in it environmentally and financially imvho.

I used Eco disposables,best of both worlds.

CheerfulYank Sat 23-Feb-13 08:02:34

I just bought my first batch of reusables! Can hysteria be far behind?! grin

I plan on cloth-diapering, nursing, co-sleeping, and doing BLW with this one.

I did NONE of those things with my other DC (born in 2007). I'm in different circumstances now, mainly, I'll be staying home with this baby whereas I was working when DS was a baby.

Do I plan on evangelizing about it? Do I care what other people do? A resounding "no" to both.

cloutiedumpling Sat 23-Feb-13 10:47:39

I use washable nappies with DC3 but only dabbled with them for DCs 1 &2 (I used them for about a year but not every day and not at night). I can very much see both sides of the argument. I think whether or not they are cheaper depends on how you buy them, how you wash them and how many babies you use them on. Some of the nappies are eye wateringly expensive if you buy them brand new from on line shops. I looked on e bay and found there are loads that are bought by people who intend to use washables but never quite get round to it. That made it much more economic for me to buy them. I reckon I bought them for about a quarter of the price that they would have been if I'd bought them for a shop. I try not to tumble dry too often but I've used the tumble drier much more than I'd have liked this winter. As some of our nappies have now been used on three kids I reckon I've more than broken even money wise though. I also plan to sell some of them once I've finished with them. I sold some a few months ago on e bay and by choosing to sell them on an auction that finished on a Sunday night I got more money than I'd paid for them. If you by fancy nappies from a shop, tumble dry them and use them on one child only I think you are much less likely to break even on them.

cloutiedumpling Sat 23-Feb-13 10:55:07

Sorry, that should have read "buy fancy nappies"

Eeeeeowwwfftz Sat 23-Feb-13 11:35:27

Hmm. I seem to be alone in finding nothing at all convenient about disposable nappies. Harder to put on. Less likely to stay on. More likely to leak. Pooey ones somehow seem to be more unpleasant to change (more poo seems to stick to the bum somehow). I suppose there's a more "out-of-sight out-of-mind" aspect to disposables but wanging them in the wash is not much more hassle than putting a nappy bags in the bin.

We use both though. And I think in energy terms there's not a lot to choose between them.

nickelbabe Sat 23-Feb-13 11:41:18

yy, in general, DD does not have nappy rash.
but sometimes, when we change her and she's had a poo, but we don't know hoe long it's been there, her bum is really red and sore.
when she's normally changed after a poo, it isn't.

so it's the poo being there for a while that causes the soreness.

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 23-Feb-13 12:27:55

Leeds university did a study(off the top of my head I think it was Leeds) saying there was no difference between reusables and disposables for nappy rash.

Polka. What creams do you need for reusables that you don't for disposables.
And you may not be aware but ecover detergent and other detergents like that (along with expensive ones with built in softener apart from bold as its clay based) are not recamended for use with any washable product that relies on absorbency to work,they leave traces on the nappies that prevent them working properly.

PolkadotCircus Sat 23-Feb-13 12:51:23

Never used any cream with disposables,had to use barrier cream with washables and then nappy rash cream.I tried using washables without and they became red raw.

PolkadotCircus Sat 23-Feb-13 12:53:35

Can't use Bold as it made all of us itch,only Ecover in this house for that reason and the fact that pumping the environment full of chemicals that effect the Eco system is wrong.

PolkadotCircus Sat 23-Feb-13 12:56:05

Environmentally washables are no better,worse I should think if tumbled .Having wet nappies on radiators increases asthma and all sorts of other risks the treating of which can't be good for the environment either.

nickelbabe Sat 23-Feb-13 12:58:48

can't use anything biological (never have for me so won't for DD. DH used to use Bold, i'm amazed he never had a reaction to it).

never used barrier cream.

nickelbabe Sat 23-Feb-13 12:59:33

we use non-bio, either fairy or sainsbug's own.

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 23-Feb-13 13:02:12

Then obviously reusables are not for you.

And I've never used radiators to dry Ime that tends to be a bad move as you don't heat your house as you wish all the heat goes to drying.

If reusables are just the same as disposables environmentally then why on earth are wwf local wildlife charities and the gov trying to encourage people to use them going so far as to plough money into it.

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 23-Feb-13 13:07:52

Nickel we use a tiny amount of what ever none bio without added softener happens to be available or an ecoegg. I use ecover for most of my laundry just not the nappies.

We do have one of those water saver modern machines tho

cloutiedumpling Sat 23-Feb-13 13:11:16

I try to dry nappies outside. I think that most people who use reusables do. The thing that swung it for me was the thought of all those sackfulls of dirty nappies that I'd be putting into landfill if I didn't use washable nappies. Also, our rubbish is only picked up once a fortnight and I don't like the thought of dirty nappies sitting about for two weeks before they are uplifted.

I can't dry mine outside - sometimes I tumble, but most of the time, I use a clothes horse inside - it's in front of a teeny radiator in the bathroom, and the nappies take 3 hours to dry there.

nickelbabe Sat 23-Feb-13 13:34:30

ours don't get stiff either.
we use about half of the amount of powder that we use for other clothes (although, having said that, i've started to reduce the amount of powder we use for everything now, and it makes no difference to the smell - i think it's mainly the agitation and hot water that does the cleaning)

we hang ours over the bannister. they take 2 days to dry fully, but we never put them on the radiator (i say "we" - DH does and i have tomove them hmm)

LeBFG Sat 23-Feb-13 13:34:46

Bit of a weird thread - suspect OP is a troll.

People love post-hoc justification - my DH loves cycling and thus made a virtue of the fact he commuted on his bike for many years ('I'm saving the planet' etc)...he did so knowing and sometimes ironically pointing this out to people who were trying that sort of argument on him.

Some people may go smugly on about reusuables saving the planet, money etc...the reality is people choose reusuables because they like them. They look good. They smell good. They are soft. I like the fact I don't fill my bin up with nappies - I have to manually dispose of our bins into a communal one so this is an issue for me. For me they are more convenient. Other users will have other features they prefer.

AP stylee crap is lauded as some kind of superior parenting - sure. Some bfers go on about their superior milk (I live in a place where ffers have the upper hand and always telling me how superior the bottle is....) - so I suppose some reusuable types will also go all superior too - just not my experience I'm afraid. I get the total opposite: people think I'm crazy and settling for a worse option.

nickelbabe Sat 23-Feb-13 13:35:40

probably right bfg - but it's an interesting discussion smile

cloutiedumpling Sat 23-Feb-13 13:53:02

I agree BFG, I only know one other person who uses reusable nappies and everyone else (DH included) think the idea of using washable nappies is crazy.

Surprised that I can't see any mention of the 'baby-wearing' crew - surely they're on a par with the BF's and cloth nappy-ers??

Ak, I dunno. Each to their own. I hate anyone preaching about anything - breast-feeding, cloth nappies, the Bible, the 5:2 diet etc. Don't preach, it's really annoying.

YouTheCat Sat 23-Feb-13 14:00:16

Exactly

JamieandtheMagicTorch Sat 23-Feb-13 14:00:19

Haven't read the thread.

Am thrilled that there are bf and reusable crews. Do they have fights on their estates? Is it like the Jets and the Sharks?

Thumbwitch Sat 23-Feb-13 14:17:58

I hate that I generally have to tumble dry my nappies now, because they just won't dry at the moment. They're home-made ones, from fleece or terry towelling and interlock - I've heard the bamboo ones are the worst for drying - but the damp, humid environment I live in now means that they're a bugger to dry without the tumbler. In the UK though, I just used to hang them all on the airer in the bathroom, and leave the airing cupboard door open (had the space to do it) - they dried within 48h that way and were quite soft, despite hard water.

I've tried hanging them out in the bright sun to remove the yellow staining - doesn't work! But that's only the terry towelling ones, the fleece ones come clean. I do use napisan as a presoak for 24h prior to washing though.

Sorry, I think that's probably a bit too evangelising for this thread, isn't it! wink

nickelbabe Sat 23-Feb-13 14:32:51

ah, now, apparently with modern ones you're not supposed to use napisan because of the elastic. I'm assuming yours don't have elastic in them?

nickelbabe Sat 23-Feb-13 14:35:48

DH has never used anything else (obv apart from at the beginning when we used sposies - it was him that complained about the bin being full up and the stench)
he's never looked after any other children, so he doesn't know what it's like.

he used to hate the diddy diapers we started with because he couldn't get the hang of the nappy nippa, but I preferred those ones.
He loves the ones we use now, which are velcro.

and he does about half of the nappy changes, so he's got just as much experience as me.

There's no complaints on the washing front, either, because his washing increased when I moved in, and then increased again with a baby, so he's used to it all now!
(not his washing, but washing he had to take care of)

Thumbwitch Sat 23-Feb-13 14:40:39

My nappies do not have elastic in, nickel, no. They have separate nappy wraps as well though - those have elastic in, but they don't get soaked in the same way unless they've been leaked on really badly.
Our nappies use a nippa, but the wraps are mostly velcro closing; I have some that are poppers but they're a PITA because they're never quite right in terms of fit. Velcro = much better. smile

MrsKeithRichards Sat 23-Feb-13 14:49:51

I don't know what brigade to join. I bf but not for long, I use cloth but one disposable a day, overnight. Help!

YouTheCat Sat 23-Feb-13 14:51:39

Join the firebrigade. grin

nickelbabe Sat 23-Feb-13 14:51:49

ah, okay.

i agree with the poppers never being in the right place!
DD always seems to be "in-between" sizes.

nickelbabe Sat 23-Feb-13 14:52:00

girls' brigade?

stargirl1701 Sat 23-Feb-13 14:57:26

MrsK me too grin

ophelia275 Fri 22-Feb-13 11:25:07

>>>> Being the nerd that I am, I am keeping a spreadsheet of all the disposable nappies I am buying and how much they have cost (I buy in bulk and I buy on offer). So far my 2.5 year old has cost me about the same or less in disposable nappies than any of the reusable nappy birth to potty sets. <<<<<

I too am a nerd and kept a spreadsheet. Terry nappies and plastic pants for DS cost us less than half of what disposables would have, although he was in eco disposables at night and when DH was on nappy duty, so we could have spent less. For DD we bought some pocket nappies which could be stuffed with the terry nappies and some washable wraps as she was too skinny for plastic pants, so shelled out another £250 quid. Plus there were the flushable liners on top of that. For wiping pooey bums we used toilet roll, as we could flush it with the poo, and just used a wipe or two for the final wipe clean. Unfortunately DD hadn't read the stats about kids in cloth potty training earlier and didn't train until 3.8, so she ended up in disposable pull-ups as she was too big for the washable trainer pants DS had used. I begrudged every penny spent on them and detested the smell. sad

You're right that many washable nappies available are much more expensive than disposables and they can take ages to dry, but if you're going for simplicity then terries are the really cheap option and they dry easily on a clothes horse or radiator airers. The pocket nappies and the wraps we dried over the shower rail. grin We also had a handful of wool soakers which we used for overnight. At the worst DD had a pocket nappy stuffed with a terry nappy, both liners and a flannel and then covered with a washable wrap and a wool soaker. But it worked, and she was fine with it. smile

>>>> I also do not pay for the extra washing that using reusables costs. I am not convinced by the whole eco argument and think they are more a fashion statement than anything. Besides if you are really obsessed with the environmental issue you can get eco disposable nappies now which bio-degrade fairly well and are not that expensive. <<<<

The thing with this is that even if you do use water for the extra washing, the water doesn't disappear, it goes back in the eco system to be used again. Disposable nappies just get dumped and you have to buy more.

Honestly, cloth nappying can be as cheap or as expensive as you want to make it. For many cloth nappy users it's a hobby, not dissimilar to the pram huns I've heard mention of on here. It is directly comparable to pushchairs - you can get something inexpensive which will do the job for a couple of years, or you can blow hundreds on something which will last a few months. Each to their own. ::shrug::

MrsKeithRichards Sat 23-Feb-13 15:08:56

I spent £110 on 20 pocket nappies with 2 microfiber boosters each, 2 wet bags for out and about, a mesh bag for laundry, t tree oil and 6 rolls of liners and a nappy bucket. Then I bought a cheap (£3) fleece blanket and cut it up into wipes. Used from 8 weeks and will see us through to potty. 2 quick washes a week with half a laundry tablet. Can't see how disposables could be that cheap.

MrsKeithRichards Sat 23-Feb-13 15:10:29

Sorry should say I will need more liners at some point.

MrsKeithRichards Sat 23-Feb-13 15:08:56

>>> I spent £110 on 20 pocket nappies with 2 microfiber boosters each <<<<

Wow! Bargain! grin

I have just worked out that based on the price of the eco disposables we used for DS it would have cost at least £1,000 for the three years and three months that DD was in nappies! shock So we saved at least £600 quid even with the extra we spent on new stuff for her.

I did intend to sell them on but just haven't got around to it so they're still stashed. I jokingly told DH I was keeping them for grandchildren. smile Now you can't do that with disposables. wink grin

HiggsBoson Sat 23-Feb-13 16:02:48

<bangs knuckles with crew>

I cloth nappied DD and they were great. Eco Bunmbles stuffed with terry squares and Motherease wraps. The whole lot must have cost me about £75.

They are a pita, but MUCH less of a pita than you expect and I think that's why people wax on about how 'easy' they are.

I still bf DD and she recently turned 3.

Am I hysterical about it all? Um, no. It's milk & shit innit?

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 23-Feb-13 18:44:15

Mrskeith,

Why don't you cut a few of your fleece wipes in half length ways so they fit the nappies and you have reusable very good dry feel liners

PolkadotCircus Sat 23-Feb-13 18:54:12

Defo agree with reusables being a fashion statement.

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 23-Feb-13 18:58:25

How are they a fashion statement they are hidden by clothes

Eh, they weren't always in our family, during the warm summer months here in California when DS was less than a year he often wore a nappy and cover and a matching tshirt. Now he was also mainly in a sling at that time so his outfit wasn't often seen but he did get seen in them.

Fashion statement?!

IneedAsockamnesty Sat 23-Feb-13 20:11:18

Hmm ok then if you are in the uk or another country with the same weather then they tend to be hidden by clothes.

nickelbabe Sat 23-Feb-13 20:50:41

oh they're definitely a fashion statement grin
even if no one sees them!

PurplePidjin Sat 23-Feb-13 20:56:25

I can't wait to hit baby massage with my pretties grin

Schooldidi Sat 23-Feb-13 20:59:00

We were given a gorgeous nappy from a friend who thinks of hers as a fashion statement. It was beautiful, with dd2's name embroidered on it and a picture representing her nickname. It was wasted on us as I don't think of nappies as a fashion statement and so it was covered up all the time and only those of us who change her nappies (ie me, dp and our cm) ever saw it.

Rootvegetables Sat 23-Feb-13 20:59:11

I broke even at 9 months with my ds and they will defiantly last another baby or two. Bum genius flips for me and cheeky wipes. Do use the odd disposable now- it feels so decadent!

difficultpickle Sat 23-Feb-13 21:02:39

When ds was a baby and I used reusable nappies I got utterly sick of the comments I had from the disposable nappy brigade. I never made anything of their choice so I couldn't understand why they would comment/criticise mine.

Hey Root - are we the same person? I use Flips and cheeky wipes - just broke even at 10 months. (7/8 months use so far). Just started buying a few different wraps, but haven't spent more than £150 all together. Only buying more wraps because I'm bored of looking at the same colours!

Floggingmolly Sat 23-Feb-13 21:25:13

Who actually cares what someone else wraps round their child's arse?

nickelbabe Sat 23-Feb-13 22:21:02

there's a reason to get a childminder!
my best friend ordered us a nappy that was totally designed for us - it had dd's name dinosaurified, a picture of a dinosaur, glow in the dark space fabric and the mainnappy was nickelcoloured minky.

no one ever sees it, so we took a photo of her wearing it!

MummytoMog Sun 24-Feb-13 01:04:53

Flat Terries are the dogs bollocks. They wash easily, dry quickly, can be boil washed if you have an attack of the shits, don't require any fancy laundering and are the most absorbent nappies I've ever tried. And they're cheap as fuck. I never really understood why people got into the fancy schmancy all in one reusables. They take longer to dry, cost a fortune and don't work as well. I don't go around saying that to their faces though...they might hit me with the minky.

And they're not hard to use. My idiot DH can fold a terry. So can my three year old DD. I've half a mind to try and teach the cats.

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 24-Feb-13 01:35:08

Some of the reusables I have are a bundle of 20 year old terry squares they are so absorbent I could use them to mop up when the washing machine decides to eject the water (assisted by dc4) all over the floor.

But I also like my pocket ones as then I don't need to use a wrap

GrammyPissedRUs Sun 24-Feb-13 01:56:30

Oh I had forgotten the joys of a really controversial AIBU thread! The thing to ask the really hardcore 'it's environmentally friendly' nappy washers is
1. what car do you drive?
2. How many air miles does your organic fruit and veg travel
3. How many air miles do you travel?
4. WTF qualifies you to judge, perfection? No didn't think so.
Oh and
5. WTF happened to live and let live?

As you were.

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 24-Feb-13 02:22:16

Grammy

1. A lotus Elise most of the time
2.0 it grows in my garden
3. For pleasure none
4.nothing I never have
5. I do and don't much care how anybody else collects there child's poo

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 24-Feb-13 02:23:54

But I should confess I do own about 10 cars even if I hardly drive because I tend to use the train

GrammyPissedRUs Sun 24-Feb-13 02:45:06

So SockPuppet, the essential points are that 4. You don't judge and 5. Your attitude is live and let live so all the other points just don't apply. What you drive is none of my business and so my choice to use disposables quite often is none of yours. Have to say though, you get bonus brownie points for taking the train and for driving a lotus (family loyalty bias even if not environmentally friendly).

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 24-Feb-13 03:19:48

Sock or sockpixie will do fine, in mn language sock puppet is quite insulting grin

I quite agree,I don't care what you use neither do most of the other reusable users who have posted here

I only care when someone expects me to buy them and under those circumstances I say you can either have 20 reusables in designs of your choice plus a bucket or you can have £85 worth of what ever disposable brand you want.

PurplePidjin Sun 24-Feb-13 03:22:03

1. 12yo Punto, 2-3 times a week
2. 0 - i buy from the local market. Ditto meat and eggs from the butcher
3. 0 - i can't afford a holiday, even in the uk
4. Same thing as you
5. I do and am. Why so defensive? Are you feeling guilty about something?

GrammyPissedRUs Sun 24-Feb-13 03:31:03

Apologies, I recall a poster from way back who went by SockPuppet. Thought you were the same.

Interesting that people are responding to my post, I was offering the op a suggestion on how to feel less bad and turn the judgemental brigade on themselves! I forget what mumsnet is like after wine o'clock! Haha!

ravenAK Sun 24-Feb-13 03:46:22

It's a fair point, though, wine o'clock or not!

My clothbummed 3dc are almost certainly more of a drain on the environment than someone else's disposable'd singleton, merely by their existence & projected future footprint.

This is (one of) the reasons why I didn't bang on about using washables. The other being that most people would have glazed over (if anyone was actually interested, they generally asked me about it &/or borrowed a couple to try)...

It really does seem to be an issue that exists almost entirely in OP's head.

GrammyPissedRUs Sun 24-Feb-13 04:30:35

Agreed, I don't remember the washable versus disposable nappy debate ever getting as heated as the Breast/formula debates on here.

I do recall such posts appearing at flare times ie weekends, full moon etc though. Shall have to bear that in mind.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 24-Feb-13 08:33:42

This argument doesn't even exist, the op is bonkers.

Thumbwitch Sun 24-Feb-13 09:34:22

I use cloth for other reasons than being an eco-warrior, tbh.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 24-Feb-13 10:02:37

Saving money was at the top of my list!

PolkadotCircus Sun 24-Feb-13 10:05:52

Not sure the inconvenience is worth it now with sky high electricity prices,high cost of detergent(which should be Eco friendly),creams and wet,mould inducing nappies hanging around.

I formula feed but use cloth nappies. How does that fit into your stereotype?

MrsKeithRichards Sun 24-Feb-13 10:43:19

Polka I rarely use my tumble, in fact I'm sure my nappies have been through the tumble once. I dry outside as much as possible, always have. In the winter months obviously this isn't as easy so there is pretty much a permanent clothes horse in my house. Not ideal but not necessarily mould inducing. Giving that I do all this anyway, was doing it before nappies, then the nappy relegated effort really is negligible.

PolkadotCircus Sun 24-Feb-13 10:48:34

Hmmm clothes horses have been linked strongly with asthma,I'm trying to cut down with clothes which isn't easy.

I just think now with electricity prices,household prices and the need to have less wet stuff lying around environmentally and costwise there can't be a lot in it.

I read a thing once that said unless you use a nappy washing service reusables aren't as good for the environment as you might think.

I just think weighing it all up pros and cons there can't be a lot in it when you factor in the convenience factor on top.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 24-Feb-13 11:49:19

How is 2 loads of washing (normal cycle at 40) a week so awful?

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 24-Feb-13 13:23:53

I have a ceiling airer in a naturally hot room, its up high out of the way a king size duvet cover drys overnight so the nappies also dry quickly.

I think for damp clothes to be an issue you would have to have lots and lots of them in a cool house so they stay damp for longer so they actually are mould inducing not ones in sensible places in drying helping conditions where mould is not a risk.

And ecoegg costs about a tenner for 3 years worth and contains nothing nasty nor damaging.

Thumbwitch Sun 24-Feb-13 13:51:38

I just had to look up links between asthma and clothes drying (out of interest) and it appears that drying clothes indoors, thus creating a warm damp environment, can increase the amount of house dust mite in the home, a problem in people with allergies and potentially asthma.

Interestingly, using a tumbledrier on hot cycle kills a lot of house dust mite.

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 24-Feb-13 14:02:25

It would be fairly sensible to think that drying in front of heaters or over radiators as well as not being cost effective would contribute a lot towards damp but doing so sensibly would do so to a much smaller extent.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 24-Feb-13 18:05:46

I have my clothes horse in the kitchen, will stand it on the back step if it's not raining and then move in front of the log burner overnight. I dry a load a day.

I use the washing line as often as possible though in the damp dull days I don't.

photographerlady Sun 24-Feb-13 18:18:55

I read these posts and just think that OPs are just being jealous. People that BF are more likely to get ppl feeling uncomfortable (bitchy)with them then pushing their bfing on others. Same with cloth diapers. Deal with your own guilt and let ppl raise their own kids the way they want to smile

Thewhingingdefective Sun 24-Feb-13 18:34:30

Why do women who choose breastfeeding and reusable nappies always get tarred with the same brush and made out to be looking down their noses on others? I can't say that any parent I know (who all do different things) acts better than anyone else, so where is this myth coming from?

I like breastfeeding cos I didn't want to wash and sterilise a million bottles. I did also supplement with the odd bottle of formula but I am not going to pretend that it is anywhere near as good as human breast milk. I would not criticise another woman's choice of how she feeds her baby, as long as she makes an informed choice.

I use both cloth and disposable nappies. There is no denying that cloth does save money and flushing shit down the toilet is far preferable to having a week's worth of shitty nappies stinking the dustbin out. I also agree with the 'hysteria' regarding landfill full of plastic nappies refusing to rot. I feel guilty every time I put a nappy in the bin. Disposables save on laundry however and with four small children in the house that is a bonus. I justify it to myself as I only have one full time nappy wearer now who is also potty training, so I intend to stop buying disposables very soon.

nickelbabe Sun 24-Feb-13 18:36:47

clothes horses have been linked with asthma where they are used excessively, in small enclosed spaces. and cause damp.
ours doesn't cause damp and we certainly don't use it excessively in small enclosed spces.
we also don't use it in areas where we spend a lot of time.

we have tje door open on the room that houses the clothes horse and everything dries out properly

it is a problem in some houses - the house I used to live in had a huge damp problem downstairs in the bedroom.
if either of us had suffered from asthma it would have been nasty there.

nickelbabe Sun 24-Feb-13 18:45:04

I'm pretty sure it stopped being about the op pages and pages ago grin

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now