To speak to this boy about his tattoos. And how?

(56 Posts)
pouffepants Sun 17-Feb-13 19:27:15

A young lad of 15 lives next door, he hangs around with ds sometimes, and is really lovely. Often in and out of our house, and really chirpy and friendly.

He has got a tattoo, on his lower stomach, of his niece's name. It has been done by his dad, who has a new 'career' plan every week, and this week's is tattooist. The tattoo is wonky, and has a capital letter in the middle, and is of a weirdly spelt name anyway.

The other lads think it's hilarious, but are not laughing, they are deliberately telling him that it's really cool, and are 'fake' saying how cool they think his parents are for doing it. They are egging him on to show as many kids as possible. He's absolutely lapping it up and strutting around, and making a show of pulling down his waistband in a posey manner.

One of the boys told him straight, it looked stupid, but he was just told that he was jealous that his parents weren't so cool.

Anyway, I now hear that's he's intending on getting mum tattooed on one arm, and dad on the other. Even though ds thought the original one was hysterical, he thinks this is too silly to leave, so has attempted to tell him it's a bad idea, but has also been accused of being jealous.

So should I attempt to speak to him? He's never going to listen to me anyway is he?

Disclaimer, I've not seen the tattoo, but all the boys agree that's what it looks like.

StuntGirl Sun 17-Feb-13 19:28:45

I would report the dad to the police. He's broken about a million laws. Twat.

NamelessHereForEvermore Sun 17-Feb-13 19:29:22

He won't listen to you and it won't end well. Stay out of it and do your best to educate your son to A. not follow this path and B. not take the piss out of someone who is clearly disadvantaged in the sense department

uptherear Sun 17-Feb-13 19:29:34

How bizarre but more so how very sad. Cool parents? Sounds more like abuse.

cheesesarnie Sun 17-Feb-13 19:29:54

agree with stuntgirl.

cheesesarnie Sun 17-Feb-13 19:30:24

and agree with uptherear- it is abuse

mrsbunnylove Sun 17-Feb-13 19:32:58

his dad is never going to earn enough as a tattooist to pay for the laser treatment to get the thing off.

tell social services. they can bring in the police if they like.

there's dodgy stuff in that family! what a place for your neice's name.

countrykitten Sun 17-Feb-13 19:32:58

Thought you had to be 18 to get a tattoo? Think his father needs to be reported.

frustratedworkingmum Sun 17-Feb-13 19:35:00

I was ready to tell you to butt out when i read the thread title, but this man has broken the law and is making a fool of his son - the problem is, he wont thank you for intervening. Your son sounds very mature though, maybe he can persuade him that he is making a mistake. I am not anti-tattoos, i have several as does my DD (shes 22 though!) shows age hmm

StuntGirl Sun 17-Feb-13 19:37:50

You have to be 18.
And the tattooist needs a licence.
And licensed premises.
And to follow a whole shit load of health and safety stuff.
And not be a knob, essentially.

pouffepants Sun 17-Feb-13 19:39:26

This is the problem, I think that we will have serious neighbour problem if I report him. And I mean serious.

I would, without hesitation, risk this if I thought he was being beaten etc, I don't think I'm willing to, for an ill-thought out tattoo or two though.

I'm hoping I can make him see sense himself, but I guess that's too optimistic.

StuntGirl Sun 17-Feb-13 19:41:46

How about hepatitis? Septicemia? AIDS? They worth the risk? Do it anonymously. He's shown enough fecking people for it not to be obviously you who called.

SirBoobAlot Sun 17-Feb-13 19:43:28

I agree with StuntGirl. Completely.

There is so much that can go wrong with a tattoo done at home in a non sterile environment with possibly the wrong equipment and especially on a child.

You don't have to give your name to anyone, just call the police or SS and report it, they will see the evidence for themselves.

Please report this for the lads sake.

pouffepants Sun 17-Feb-13 19:46:09

As far as I know, he's only shown other teenagers.

Also, as far as I know, he says he's the only person who's been tattooed, just while his dad is practising. His sister was supposed to being done too, but she chickened out. So i guess he can't catch stuff?? Or can you just get septicaemia anyway?

quoteunquote Sun 17-Feb-13 19:48:49

If he has shown lots of people how would they know it is you that has reported it?

he could end up with one on his face,

He could end up with septicaemia,hepatitis or both.

let social services know, do it anonymously if you want, then they will not know who it was,

But that child does need an adult to step up for him, before he ends up being persuaded into doing something even more stupid.

TroublesomeEx Sun 17-Feb-13 19:49:39

They won't know it was you who reported him, it could have been someone at school for all they know.

You really do need to report it.

aldiwhore Sun 17-Feb-13 19:49:40

FFS report him. You don't have to tell anyone (even those in your household) that you've done it. You can lie and deny you did it.

But please report him.

catladycourtney1 Sun 17-Feb-13 19:50:21

Hmm I would say to keep out of it. He won't thank you, and he won't listen to you if he won't even listen to his friends. His father has broken the law technically but I don't imagine reporting him will achieve anything - it's not like they can shut him down if he's just tattooing family from home. Anyone can buy a tattooing kit.

I had a friend when I was at school who had a tattoo done by his dad at 14, BUT his dad was a proper tattooist and it was a decent-looking tattoo, if a bit tasteless on a 14-year-old. That was about ten years ago though so it probably looks fine now.

I know it must excruciating to watch him deface himself (or allow his dad to), but there's probably very little you can do about it. Hopefully he'll realise it looks crap, or his dad will change his mind, or if not then he can get them covered up or removed in a few years' time.

StuntGirl Sun 17-Feb-13 19:50:37

I follow this simple rule with my tattooists and piercers: if they break one rule that I know of, what other rules have they broken that I don't know about?

If this idiot is tattooing his CHILD (illegally) then who says he's using brand new needles? Who's to say he's sterilising his equipment? Who's to say he's wearing gloves? Who's to say he's following h&s? It's not like he has the official paperwork to back it up. Althouh lets admit it - its not like he's doing any of fucking that at all.

Report it before he does some serious damage to someone.

SashaSashays Sun 17-Feb-13 19:50:48

Encourage him to show it off at school. I think the teachers are compelled to act in these matters, or if you're worried about repercussions you could report it to the school yourself?

Teenagers getting silly tattoos is nothing new, I have personal experience of this, however if you feel worried about it then you can probably find a way to report it.

VitoCorleone Sun 17-Feb-13 19:52:14

I agree his dad should not be tattooing a 15 year old boy.

And getting his nieces name on his lower stomach? Just plain weird, why would a 15 year old boy even want that?

StuntGirl Sun 17-Feb-13 19:53:21

"His father has broken the law technically but I don't imagine reporting him will achieve anything - it's not like they can shut him down if he's just tattooing family from home. Anyone can buy a tattooing kit."

His father has broken the law period. It is illegal to tattoo minors. Fifteen year old children are minors.

CailinDana Sun 17-Feb-13 19:54:18

Diseases are unlikely, as the needles will probably not have been shared between people, but a nasty infection that could lead to septicaemia is possible. Whether or which a father has permanently marked his son when his son is below the legal age to consent to that. That is abuse and that poor boy will have to live with his ridiculous tattoo or pay for expensive and painful laser surgery to get it removed. I agree with the others that this needs to be reported in order to stop the father marking his son further and possibly endangering his health.

pouffepants Sun 17-Feb-13 19:56:56

The niece's name thing is a bit odd. But the entire family seem to hero worship her, including him.

If anyone accuses him of lying over anything, he'll swear on her name. and the parents go on about their baby granddaughter all the time.

CailinDana Sun 17-Feb-13 19:57:00

To add, I find it beyond disgusting that a grown adult is practising tattooing on his child. He is permanently marking his child without having the skills to do it properly or safely. Who does that??

McNewPants2013 Sun 17-Feb-13 19:59:06

The Tattooing of Minors Act 1969 makes it illegal for anyone to tattoo you if you are under the age of 18 - although the offence is with the person who carries out the procedure, rather than the person who asks for the tattoo. New guidelines suggest that a tattoo artist should ask to see proof of age and record this before agreeing to tattoo you.

I would inform the police.

If you don't want to go to the police or SS could you alert the school and let them do it?

I'm sorry to say, but I really do think you need to bite the bullet and report him.
So far he's 'practiced' on his own son, and who the hell does that?? Next he'll be offering free tattoos to mates so he can practice on them. Then the risks StuntGirl talks about become more and more likely, as this idiot carries on 'practising' on live canvases.

CailinDana Sun 17-Feb-13 20:03:09

Let him deface his own body if he wants practice! Twat.

StuntGirl Sun 17-Feb-13 20:05:17

Most tattoo artists do cailin. Then their equally tattooed mates let them do it on them. Then eventually they're set free on the public after lots, and lots, and lots of practice and messing up on willing adults.

pouffepants Sun 17-Feb-13 20:07:16

If it had been on the sister, who is 18, would it still have been illegal because he's (presumably) not licensed?

specialsubject Sun 17-Feb-13 20:09:09

tattooing a 15 year old is the same as tattooing a baby in the eyes of the law.

please report. Child abuse.

StuntGirl Sun 17-Feb-13 20:10:16

I'm not 100% on the legalities of that bit but I suspect sadly not as long as she is over 18 and no money is exchanging hands. If he is charging to do it out of his house with no licence then THAT is definitely illegal.

sukysue Sun 17-Feb-13 20:11:42

He's 15 and he needs help. It is a child protection case imho it needs referring to social services (which anyone can do) and I'm sorry op but in your heart of hearts you know what you have to do good luck.

pouffepants Sun 17-Feb-13 20:15:07

I'm not sure what the longterm plan is, but I expect it to go the way of his previous plans.

Including, running an american diner, ice cream man, clown, butlins redcoat, hog roast, dog breeding, and roofing. None seem to last very long, so I expect this to blow over pretty quick. But the son gets to keep a few momentos by the looks of things.

sunshine401 Sun 17-Feb-13 20:18:07

This type of behavior is becoming more and more common!! It is disgusting report it for the sake of investigation but the outcome will not be great. Which is a shame. Dad will most likely be finned and cautioned which will hopefully be enough to discourage him from being so stupid in the future.
sad poor lad.

I will echo the calls for you to report this. His dad is using him as a practice canvass. As much as vegetarians will hate this, pig skin can be used for this. A 15yo will think think he is 'cool' and 'hard' for this is, it's not it is akin (imho) to child abuse.

TroublesomeEx Sun 17-Feb-13 20:55:11

OP, the dad's plans, long term or otherwise, are irrelevant.

You need to report this to the police. They will deal with the legal side of things and raise a safeguarding alert with the LA who will deal with the CP side of things.

You do need to do this. It's not akin to child abuse, it is child abuse.

Remotecontrolduck Sun 17-Feb-13 21:16:48

Oh dear, you need to report this before he lets his dad do something he's REALLY going to regret. He needs protecting from himself, and his dad who's clearly a bit unhinged. Who'd do that to their own son?!

Lazer treatment is insanely expensive, please don't let his dad deface him any further. Poor lad is going to be mortified in a few weeks time.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Feb-13 21:21:31

Social Services on this all the way - you can do that without leaving a name>

It cant come back to you - he's shown all and sundry the tattoo.

I'd also phone his school - dont need to give your name.

countrykitten Sun 17-Feb-13 21:31:56

Report your concerns to the school - and stress that no one must know it is you that has reported it. They can then 'catch sight' of it and take it from there.

Sometimes we teachers have to be a little devious!

StuntGirl Sun 17-Feb-13 21:39:07

Oh FFS fine OP, don't do anything. But equally don't come asking for advice on what to do if you're not willing to actually take any action. The father has acted illegally, immorally and irresponsibly. It's abuse. And if his friends and even other adults in his life won't stand up for him then I really feel for the poor lad, he stands no chance.

HollyBerryBush Sun 17-Feb-13 21:44:15

TBH with you, if he's shown it to other teens, they will comment on it to teachers anyway.

People do do it - I frequently see 15/16yo's with them, just as they are about to leave school in the summer term. They love showing them off hmm. I love pointing out they have just marked them selves out as identifiable next time they get nicked!

lastSplash Sun 17-Feb-13 21:52:51

As posters above have suggested - report it to the school. Do it anonymously and they will have to act (after checking it's true). Unlikely it will come back to you for neighbours to be pissed off about.

jeanmiguelfangio Sun 17-Feb-13 21:58:54

No one is going to know its you that has reported it, if the boy is showing lots of people then anyone could report them. What happens if another child wants one, boy says my dad can do it, and before you know it there are even more problems. Report the guy, who knows where is can lead- there are reasons why there is so much legislation to protect people

littlewhitebag Sun 17-Feb-13 22:04:39

It is not a child protection or SS issue. I work in this area and we would not investigate this. Maybe the Police would look into it or some professional body related to tattooing. Also i think (could be wrong though) that if the parent agrees then a child can get a tattoo.

We have been in similar situations, its hard but the official people understand this.

I have found the RSPCA can refer you on all situations. We have never regretted it

(I sound like a loon but seriously, we have not regretted it)

StuntGirl Sun 17-Feb-13 22:19:27

You are wrong littlewhitebag.

I am surprised to find the child protection authorities wouldn't take action on a father tattooing his child, I find that very sad sad

foreverondiet Sun 17-Feb-13 22:28:43

You have to report it to social services and if he has showed loads of people no one will know its was you.

You wouldn't investigate a father effectively branding his underaged son?

Would it be investigated if he was cutting him or burning him and leaving permanant scars as long as he had the child consent because he thought scars look 'cool'?

No-one under the age of 18 can get a tattoo regardless of parental consent.

Remotecontrolduck Sun 17-Feb-13 22:39:56

It's not so much that it's a 'child protection issue' getting a tattoo at 15 (well, it is I suppose), it's the fact that his dad is doing it himself, with no training, leaving him open to disease, infection etc.

Plus, the poor lad is going to be so embarrassed about them in a year or twos time and be desperate to get rid. Laser removal is very very expensive. The one he has is easily hidden, anything on his arms are not. I'm 99% sure he'll regret this. Report to police to save him several grand in laser removal.

StuntGirl Sun 17-Feb-13 22:44:33

To be honest there are actually no qualifications or training schemes or anything at all for tattoo artists. It's a totally self-regulating industry (that's why there are so many shit ones). Whoever said anyone can do it is bob on. To open a tattoo studio you need a licence from your local council, and to pass the inspections, and that's it.

But yes, I suspect he knows less than fuck all about safe practices, and that's a dangerous thing.

CSIJanner Sun 17-Feb-13 22:46:03

Tell you what OP - if you don't want to report your law breaking, health risking twunt of a neighbour, PM his name address and his sons name to one of us and we'll do it for you with no blame nor onus on you.

Your neighbour will have his equipment seized, will be slapped with fines and will face 2 years in jail for exposing his son to Hep, HIV, infection etc, plus from your sons description, piss poor artwork etched onto his child's body for life.

Unlicensed Tattooists

DeepPurple Sun 17-Feb-13 22:52:16

Littlewhitebag shock you work with abused kids and wouldn't investigate a parent assaulting their child? I think you are in the wrong job!

A child of 15 cannot consent to a tattoo and a parent cannot consent on their behalf.

Get the police involved - it is assault.

StuntGirl Sun 17-Feb-13 23:01:14

I think someone upthread raised an interesting point; they asked if someone was cutting or branding their child would people be up in arms about it. There is a form of body modification similar to tattooing called branding, and one called scarification. Branding burns designs onto the skin, and scarification involves cutting the pattern into the skin. If the dad decided to get into one of these markets and practised on his son, would it be fobbed off by anyone? Or rightly seen as the abuse it is?

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