to find people rude and bloody unfriendly

(49 Posts)
uptherear Sun 17-Feb-13 18:53:11

Perhaps its me and I am odd.

We moved area (few hundred miles) and i findsuch a difference in the people here.

It keeps coming up and today again i was left feeling like some odd bod.

In park and there are lots of folk with kids. At climbing tower Im waiting for my DD2 to get on when some Dad followinv his toddler up says 'i'm going to have to follow him up'. So I smiled/laughed and said 'no need to make excuses, on you get, have fun'!
No reply, no chat. Honestly if kid hadn't been up frame Im sure he'd have run. I was with DH and other dc btw, not hanging round looking lonely!!

Five mins later a 2/3 year old is hanging off s climbing frame at least 4 ft from groundand no obvious person with him, so i lift him down. Woman appears beside me, torn faced and says 'he is fine, i was watching him'.
Honestly is this where society is at or is it maybe a regional thing. I remember small talk wiyh dtrangers at the park and a general feeling of friendliness.
Aibu and should i just shut up and mind my own business?

uptherear Sun 17-Feb-13 18:54:30

sorry about typos, big fingers and small phone!

TitHead Sun 17-Feb-13 18:55:30

YANBU how strange.

Seabright Sun 17-Feb-13 18:56:03

Where are you now and where were you before?

Where did you move from and too? sad

People are very lovely in my part of the country.

HedgeHogGroup Sun 17-Feb-13 18:58:47

Around here you can go ANYWHERE and be assured that someone (everyone) will stop to chat to you.
However, my PIL live 'Down South' (think medium market town, not London!) and I do find it different. People don't give each other the time of day and are generally more reluctant to chat in similar situations to those you describe.
I find it beyond irritating as I'll talk to anyone!

ifso Sun 17-Feb-13 19:02:10

Completely understand you OP it used to really bother me, but I've since learned to let it float over me. Hard though. Maybe they had no English? Maybe fed up? Maybe just downright rude! Yanbu. It is hard work out there!

wintertimeisfun Sun 17-Feb-13 19:07:49

at a guess she probably felt embarassed that she wasn't the one there looking after her child so she (rudely) put you down as she was embarassed/got defensive...

uptherear Sun 17-Feb-13 19:10:17

Moved from Glasgow to Inverness.
People in Highlands much more reserved. Not always a bad thing but some days i just feel so tired of it always being hard work.

andubelievedthat Sun 17-Feb-13 19:15:41

Yup, its like a bloody jungle out there ! there is imo no excuse, plain and simple,> ignorant people(mostly) populate this country.And they make ,with their ignorance ,daily living ,hard work.

Melawen Sun 17-Feb-13 19:20:15

It is a shame that people aren't more friendly, BUT I was originally thought very cold and unfriendly by someone who is now a good friend of mine because she didn't know I am deaf and I didn't know she was speaking to me!! I'm always super alert to the fact that someone might be talking to me but I don't always realise! blush

uptherear Sun 17-Feb-13 19:27:08

Definitely no problems with hearing on their part. I have slight deafness in one ear so pretty aware of these things I hope.

I don't want to find a new best friend each time I go to the park but just exchanging a few words, bit of chit chat, its good. Makes the world a nicer place. I find ignoring everyone else completely wrong!

People in the Highlands are reserved? grin

I moved from the Highlands to the Midlands last year and have went from being able to talk to any old random on the street about anything for hours to people just looking at me weirdly and shuffling off.

Only one person here has really spoken to me and I had to ditch her pretty quick smart because she was just too much. Popping over at 1am if her dh was out walking the dog and saw my light on, popping over at 7am if she saw I was having a glass of wine in the evening to make sure I was up with the kids and not hung over, 'helpfully' pointing out all my flaws with my weight, parenting, job prospects, trying to set me up with her son despite me reminding her several times that I was married I just came down a couple of months before dh to settle the kids into school and home before his transfer with work, then going off on one because she 'acted like a mother' to me and I didn't get her a mothers day card confused as well as many many other things. There is no middle ground here between over needy and nothing it seems.

Give me the Highlands any day of the week.

DreamingOfTheMaldives Sun 17-Feb-13 19:35:23

Get a dog and then you're never short of someone to chat to in the park!

uptherear Sun 17-Feb-13 19:36:00

Missymoo perhaps you were in a different area of the Highlands? I do know some lovely folk I have met up here that are crazy mad and I love them. They speak their mind, a spades a spade and they have a sense of humour to boot. However it is my experience so far that they are a tiny minority and the reserved superficial business like people the norm.

uptherear Sun 17-Feb-13 19:49:09

I have dogs already, no different than when with the dc.
When I lived in Glasgow I made lots of friends through dog walking. Here I have made none. Ive offered to woman in my street to walk together, let dogs play but wasn't taken up on offer.

LessMissAbs Sun 17-Feb-13 21:11:01

YANBU. I moved from Edinburgh to Aberdeen and I found exactly the same thing. Bloody rude and unfriendly (with some exceptions). I went to Glasgow for the day recently and was almost shocked that people were friendly, I had got so used to being snapped at in shops, knocked out of the way in queues and totally blanked in social situations when I introduced myself to strangers. Went abroad recently to visit a couple of friends and I almost fainted several times, so unused was I to people at parties actually introducting themselves to me and being friendly and interested in what I had to say!

I think in Inverness there are some friendly types in sports clubs and hill walking groups perhaps?

My favourite "incident" was at New Year, DH and I went to a Hogmanany Dinner Dance, ticket only, with another couple, were seated at a table with some people we don't know. As I sat down, I said "hello" to the man I was sitting next to, he actually blanked me and turned away, never to glance at me again! Not one person spoke to us all evening, I tried a couple of times but after getting one or two word answers, gave up. It was one of the most soul-destroying, miserable evenings of my life.

Piecesofmyheart Sun 17-Feb-13 21:13:16

I agree about the Midlands - suspicious glances and 'You're not from round here are you' seemed to be the sum of conversation from anyone you tried to have a friendly word with grin

Everyone come to Worcestershire. We are all lovely/chatty/friendly. smile

LessMissAbs Sun 17-Feb-13 21:14:44

Did I mention the time I left a gap in the queue at the supermarket? You know when its really busy and the front of the last aisle before the checkouts would get blocked if you didn't leave a gap? The two men behind me took great consternation to this and after a bit of tutting and shoving me from behind, one actually said to me "Do you no want to stand in the queue?" I tried to explain the quaint custom of leaving a gap, but he actually swore at me under his breath before I'd finished, and nipped in front of me, followed by the other man!

I was in Elgin mostly, but I've lived in Inverness for a while too, and I have lived just outside of Aberdeen as well. I have only encountered the odd weird unfriendly person in over 25 years up in Scotland. Maybe I was the strange over friendly person that everyone was trying to escape grin

Yes sparkling we are!
Have been doing a crafty thing all day at a Worcestershire countryside centre and without exception every single person I spoke to was chatty, friendly and appreciative. It was BRILLIANT.

Please keep trying OP, you might just have fallen into 'miserable buggers' day' at the park and they might be lovely tomorrow

But I lived in Preston for 10 years (born in Essex)
They HATED me there sad

BabyRoger Sun 17-Feb-13 21:20:25

I moved from Edinburgh to the East Midlands - folk are much less friendly here, I have found. I find the West Midlander's very friendly.

Ooh did you have anything to eat there? If it's the one i am thinking of their cakes are fab Norks. grin I think people in our County are lovely.

DameFanny Sun 17-Feb-13 21:23:47

Oh bollocks to Worcestershire being friendly. But at least it was bad enough to make me take a long hard look at the cunt I was going to marry and run back east

Oh no Dame. sad You obviously didn't bump into me or Norks.

One of the reasons I am so thrilled to be back in the Uk from Australia is because it is so much easier to chat to people you don't know!

I'm in a neighbouring county to Sparkling, perhaps that has something to do with it?

WMDinthekitchen Sun 17-Feb-13 21:27:56

OP, what you describe might well happen here - and we are in the far north, not the supposedly unfriendly south.

DameFanny Sun 17-Feb-13 21:30:08

Well obviously Norks! Sodding Inkberrow angry

DameFanny Sun 17-Feb-13 21:30:45

Sparkling even blush

sad Dame. Don't think I have ever been to Inkberrow.

madmomma Sun 17-Feb-13 21:32:02

Oh I can't bloody stand it when people won't have a little chitchat. It makes the world go round. YANBU. Nothing worse than being left hanging by some miserable bugger when you were trying to brighten their day with a little exchange. Even worse when they won't raise a smile for a baby or toddler who's beaming at them. Miserable, cold wasters!

VBisme Sun 17-Feb-13 21:34:26

I moved from Manchester to the Cotswolds and people are MUCH friendlier here.

Saski Sun 17-Feb-13 21:35:07

I hate to see people shot down in an attempt to make pleasant chit chat. Hope it makes you feel better that you've got right on your side and they're assholes.

Ivehadbetterdays Sun 17-Feb-13 21:35:23

I live in the South, where I was told people are more friendly. Some are, some aren't.

The other day I took DD to Tesco. She always has a go on the ride before we go in. There were two older girls already sat on it when we got there, but the ride wasn't moving, but I told DD she would have to wait. The two girls jumped out, so I looked at their Mum, and asked "Are they not going on?" ( just wanted to check before DD jumped on) and she looked at me like I was a piece of shit who had just asked her if she wanted to eat me, and abruptly said "no!" DD got on the ride, and she then said "I NEVER left my children on those rides" in an equality snotty tone. I had my back to her, so turned round to tell her to lighten up, and that I was only asking a question (thought I was being polite?) but she had vanished. miserable bitch

OTOH have met some nice people at the local park, some Grandparents in particular who were lovely, and also at soft play of all places grin

FlatsInDagenham Sun 17-Feb-13 21:40:10

We in West Yorkshire are luvly. Come and live 'ere.

I always eat there sparkling. My friend runs the cafe and she has won proper awards and everything.
Come back and visit damefanny, we are nice really

Their scrambled eggs on toast are the best I have ever tasted Norks. DH has the fab chocolate cake given half a chance. Fab place. smile

uptherear Sun 17-Feb-13 21:54:41

Ah Im so glad its not just me.

Being chatty and friendly costs nothing. Don't understand these cold snotty types who just don't want to interact at all.

Maybe it was an off day. I won't give up. More effort for me to stop talking than to just carry on being me!!

BreconBeBuggered Sun 17-Feb-13 22:00:23

I knew you were going to say you'd moved from Glasgow, OP.
Not that I have a shameless West Coast bias or anything.

DameFanny Sun 17-Feb-13 22:09:03

Sparkling - don't ever bother grin

itsakindarabbit Sun 17-Feb-13 22:09:11

I am quite chatty and friendly - my dh is fairly introverted and just wants to go about his business undisturbed. I think thats hisnperrogative.

Although i am outgoing and like meeting new people i have found in recent years thst people i meet out and about who want to chat just want to do a monologue qbout themselves/their lives. I dont know when this started happening - this endless droning about oneself to any available audiece - but i am more hesitant about chatting to new people because of it.

That said, op, you sound great and good fun and not at all a me me me type.

Adversecamber Sun 17-Feb-13 22:13:57

Well my sister lived in Wales for a few years and had go home English bastards spray painted on her garden wall so I think your doing ok

I moved from South to edge of the North friendlier times a million.

ElectricMonk Sun 17-Feb-13 22:15:38

I've spent the past few years shifting between the South and the Midlands, and I've experienced similar problems many times - I don't think you ever stop missing the atmosphere of the friendlier place, but you do stop being confused and disappointed by the more insular place after a while (and become slightly misanthropic). If it makes you feel any better, do bear in mind that some of the people you meet (like me) will just be taken aback by the fact that you are speaking to them and will probably be kicking themselves inside by the time they've offended you smile.

I wish I could settle somewhere near Birmingham permanently, the people are generally just reserved enough that my general dreamy/zoned-out state goes unnoticed, but still friendly enough that asking for help or buying things is a nice experience...

LittleFrieda Sun 17-Feb-13 22:23:49

Are you English? grin

GrowSomeCress Sun 17-Feb-13 22:38:53

YANBU, people in general are ruder

Goldmandra Sun 17-Feb-13 22:47:20

Everyone come to Worcestershire. We are all lovely/chatty/friendly.

Too right!

We moved here some years ago but for a while still lived half the week in B'ham because of my job. I had to remember to smile, nod and greet people I passed in the street in the new place while still avoiding eye contact with those in B'ham lest they decided I was a lunatic and called the police!

I got it wrong both ways round a few times and left people either feeling snubbed or looking at me like I was a loon!

redandwhitesprinkles Sun 17-Feb-13 23:07:44

From the ne now in London. I talk to everyone and most respond. Maybe I am known as some local northern nutter. Hey ho!

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