To have chosen not to wear wedding rings when married?

(43 Posts)
Cornflowerdreams Sun 17-Feb-13 13:44:40

My husband and I got married a few years ago without doing the ring thing. Neither of us wanted to wear rings ever, as we both hate jewellery on our hands, and to us the meaning of ring wearing is not important in the least.

We love each other, have been together for 15 years and have two beautiful children.

Sometimes I get paranoid and get the impression people might think we don't wear rings because we want to send the message to the world that we are available or that we are not committed enough.

The only message we intended to send to society is that we just don't care about the ring's significance, we care deeply about our relationship.

I have even been called "weird" for doing that by an old acquaintance. Shall we try to comform to society rules?

TheVermiciousKnid Sun 17-Feb-13 13:46:36

Neither of us wear wedding rings, never have done. I really don't care what others think about that! Do what you're happy with. smile

Pandemoniaa Sun 17-Feb-13 13:47:22

Do what suits you. Who cares what "society" thinks? Although it has to be said that I don't think there are any rules anyway. Status is not determined by wearing a ring.

SirBoobAlot Sun 17-Feb-13 13:48:22

Why bother conforming? If you are both happy with it, then that's enough.

Cornflowerdreams Sun 17-Feb-13 13:48:28

Great to hear we're not the only ones! Never met a married non ring wearer in real life smile Only those with serious marital problems

noisytoys Sun 17-Feb-13 13:48:41

My parents don't wear a wedding ring. It doesn't make them any less married

Tasmania Sun 17-Feb-13 13:49:03

I don't wear my rings much (engagement and wedding ring) - despite them being super nice (with the engagement ring particularly attracting attention). I wear them when we're out and I have to look nice, but not on an everyday basis. My job is also male-dominated, and wearing them often signals to people that I'm half-retired from my career.

DH wears his every day. blush

ProfYaffle Sun 17-Feb-13 13:49:09

Why would you want to do that?! You could be describing dh and I, we've been together a similar time and don't wear rings for the same reason. I thought I would want to wear my rings but it turns out they just annoy me so I leave them at home.

No-one's ever commented but people generally assume we're not married which is understandable. It's no skin off my nose whether they think we're married or not, doesn't make any practical difference I can think of.

I have friends that are gardeners (married) and the dh wears a ring on a leather cord round his neck and she has a beautiful bracelet as neither of them wear rings.

Of course do what you want, I'd be surprised if anyone noticed.

I wear mine, but DH doesn't wear his. It's too big and we keep forgetting to get it re-sized and it kept falling off.

My parents have been married nearly 50 years and they've never worn theirs as long as I can remember. It's up to you at the end of the day.

Bunbaker Sun 17-Feb-13 13:51:41

Do what you feel comfortable with. Just bear in mind that whenever you do anything that doesn't conform to society's expectations that you might have to do a little bit of explaining now and again.

I don't do "finger furniture" either, except for my wedding ring. I don't have an engagement ring because I just don't like them and think they are a massive waste of money. As for eternity rings - don't even go there.

specialsubject Sun 17-Feb-13 13:56:58

paranoia is a mental condition. This is a question about jewellery.

I think you'll find that most of society neither notices nor cares. The person who said 'weird', is. What a strange comment.

SashaSashays Sun 17-Feb-13 13:59:15

I only look for a ring if I'm trying to work out if someone is married. I don't think it signifies anything about the relationship if they don't wear one and I think on the elderly or very traditional would take this view.

I wear a wedding ring everyday and quite often my engagement ring, but then I also wear a ring on nearly every finger so they are barely noticeable. My DH doesn't own or wear a ring, he doesn't like them, he does however have my name tattooed on him.

Pandemoniaa Sun 17-Feb-13 14:00:31

Never met a married non ring wearer in real life. Only those with serious marital problems

What a strange generalisation.

I've never been married to a man who wore a wedding ring. The fact that I am now divorced has nothing to do with their decision not to wear a wedding ring either. My DP, for instance, simply doesn't like wearing any jewellery. I'm not at all fussed about conventional wedding rings either. None of this makes us or me any less committed to our relationship.

N0tinmylife Sun 17-Feb-13 14:04:12

It is only a matter for you and your DH if you want to wear a ring or not. My DH never wanted one, and has never had one.

I wore my wedding ring up until the last few months. Now I am at work, or down at the stables a lot of the time, and I worry about them getting caught on something and injuring me, so I rarely wear them. I am no less committed to my marriage! I don't think anyone has really noticed or cared, and why should they?

andubelievedthat Sun 17-Feb-13 18:28:06

my own engegement ring is a genuine Levi denim jacket ,i dont do jewellery and i could not care less re showing anyone else my "status" i will , if need be, tell them. i always wanted a jacket like the one he got for me , this i will treasure endlessly,>he wanted and got a very specific(2 him, anyway) pair of boots.

hippo123 Sun 17-Feb-13 18:33:30

I wear a wedding ring as I like to, dh doesn't like to so he doesn't. it suits us fine and I have no issue with it, plenty of other people do though.

BlatantLies Sun 17-Feb-13 18:36:58

I don't think anyone cares. I am not even sure what finger my wedding ring is meant to be on.

StrawberryMojito Sun 17-Feb-13 18:39:41

Each to their own. I wear mine during the day but take them off each night as I can't aide wearing jewellery in bed. If you are both happy, who cares about what other people think.

ClimbingPenguin Sun 17-Feb-13 18:44:29

I don't wear mine, DH does

KC225 Sun 17-Feb-13 18:56:50

Same as climbingpenuin - I don't wear mine but DH wears his.

Methe Sun 17-Feb-13 19:00:12

I wear mine. Dh doesn't wear his. I've never really given it much thought tbh..

ukatlast Sun 17-Feb-13 19:02:07

YANBU I thought we were the only ones until reading this!

mamateur Sun 17-Feb-13 19:02:55

I got married yesterday (grin). DH asked his best man if he could borrow a ring for the ceremony (he won't be wearing a ring because he doesn't like jewellery) - but his best man couldn't lend him a ring, because he himself borrowed a ring from his best man at his wedding. In the end we bought one from Argos the morning of our wedding just for symmetry really, because my mother wanted me to wear her mother's band and I had said I would.

GregBishopsBottomBitch Sun 17-Feb-13 19:03:46

Im not into jewellry at all, so its unlikely i'd wear a ring if i got married. Its just personal preference, you dont have to wear it if your choice is not too, free will and all that.

rubyslippers Sun 17-Feb-13 19:05:54

I go through phases

i am wearing both my wedding and engagement rings at the moment but quite often don't

DH hasn't worn his for years

don't really think about it to be honest

rubyslippers Sun 17-Feb-13 19:06:10

congrats mamateur!

perplexedpirate Sun 17-Feb-13 19:07:31

DH and I do, but I wouldn't think twice about someone not doing.
Do whatever's right for you.

zlist Sun 17-Feb-13 19:10:38

I wouldn't notice and if I did I wouldn't think anything of it. I think not wearing a ring is only significant if you did and then suddenly stop doing so. I did this when my first marriage wasn't too great - no one ever commented though.

We only had a ring because we couldn't be legally married without one. I have no idea where it is now, it's here somewhere but it's been a while since I saw it, let alone wore it.
I have a tattoo on my left ring finger, and that does me grin

exoticfruits Sun 17-Feb-13 19:19:20

Absolutely nobody notices! I tried it. I was a widow with a baby and fed up with everyone assuming that I had a DH or a DP so I took my rings off and it made not one jot of difference!

exoticfruits Sun 17-Feb-13 19:19:56

Sorry-the point was-do whatever you like.

notnagging Sun 17-Feb-13 19:21:08

I don't, dh does. Some people comment but I don't care. Dh makes a fuss about it sometimes.

RichardSimmonsTankTop Sun 17-Feb-13 19:21:32

Surely having two kids and 15 years of happy marriage means more than a bit of jewellery!

We don't wear them either, I have a habit of taking rings off and leaving them in stupid places. No one has ever mentioned my lack of ring.

simplesusan Sun 17-Feb-13 19:24:57

I am surprised that anyone notices.

I am not wearing mine today. I am happily married so the notion that only those with marital problems don't wear them is stupid.

Do whatever you feel comfortable with.

BegoniaBampot Sun 17-Feb-13 19:26:09

Yes, YABU.

TheCatIsUpTheDuff Sun 17-Feb-13 19:26:30

I wear mine because I like rings. DH wears his. My friend hardly ever wears hers because she has to take it off for work and forgets to put it back on. Her DH wears his all the time. SIL hardly ever wears hers because it aggravates her eczema, DB wears his all the time. FIL never wears his. MIL wears a different one that she likes better. It's your hand, it's your business.

Snazzynewyear Sun 17-Feb-13 19:28:15

I did do the ring thing and so did DH. But on the other hand smile I didn't change my name and plenty of people find that weird. What's important is how you understand your commitment to one another, which is not, in my opinion, defined by labels or visual symbols. Who gives a stuff what others think?

baskingseals Sun 17-Feb-13 19:28:22

i don't wear a wedding ring, i don't wear any rings day to day. the older i get the more i go off wearing jewellry it just gets on my nerves.

i do sometimes wear a victorian ring dh bought me from a local market, but it only fits my middle finger.

CockyFox Sun 17-Feb-13 19:53:27

My Nan and Grandad have been married over 60 years, neither one of them has ever worn a wedding ring. I don't think anyone would ever say they are not commited enough or have marital problems.
My Dad has never worn one, my mum does married 35 years.
DH and I both wear one married 12 years.
It is a personal decision and no indication of health of marriage or level of committment.

scottishmummy Sun 17-Feb-13 20:01:16

Wearing a wedding ring isn't indicative of commitment or chaste behaviours
entirely up to you,don't want to wear ring?don't wear one
old fashioned and naive to presume wedding ring=strong relationship

plentyofsoap Sun 17-Feb-13 20:19:03

I wear mine rarely as I developed a skin condition on my hands after being pregnant. It's just a ring. My marriage had not changed since I stopped wearing it. wink

hanreeoak Sun 17-Feb-13 20:23:00

My husband and I rarely wear our wedding rings, which is fine we have been together 15 years and are very happy. We moved to a small village two years ago as did my parents, my dad however was very confused one day when a man knocked on his door asking for my father in law. I think it was assumed that I was not married (and my children's surname was known from being in the local school) the man had heard that my father might be able to help him with a project, was being polite and then totally confused as my father kept telling him 'that's not me'.

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