to hate speaking to people on the phone?

(44 Posts)
Megatron Sun 17-Feb-13 11:48:31

I am aware this makes me sound like an anti social arse but I really actively avoid actually talking to other human beings on the phone. I am pretty friendly and sociable but I will text, FB message ANYTHING to avoid it. I have even been known to phone people when I know they're out so that I can leave a message for them and not talk. What the hell is wrong with me? smile

Schooldidi Sun 17-Feb-13 11:51:14

I don't know what's wrong with you but whatever it is, I've got it too. I absolutely hate phones and have to really work up to it if I really need to phone anyone. Email is my friend.

DesiderataHollow Sun 17-Feb-13 11:53:07

I hate phones too.
I do tend to partially lip-read so I find phones tiring and awkward. But I suspect I'd be the same even if I could hear properly. Nasty, intrusive things.

BrianCoxandTheTempleofDOOM Sun 17-Feb-13 11:53:16

I'm the same.

I actually work in a customer-facing role, always have done, so have to make/take calls at work and it doesn't bother me, I don't think about it in all honesty.

However, at home, I actively avoid calling people (friends and family) I just find it so awkward and feel under pressure. I have no idea why.

You wouldn't guess it from my posts on MN, but I don't talk lots and lots in social situations. I am far more comfortable with written/typed conversations.

I consider myself sociable, but only in situations where I am comfortable. I can't walk into a room and just start chatting to strangers (I have friends who can do this and I am very envious!) I am comfortable in a group of people where I am not the one doing all the talking as I find myself going OTT and talking utter shite just to fill the silence!

In a work situation I force myself to be 'perky' and chatty when meeting customers face to face - it takes a lot to do though.

Megatron Sun 17-Feb-13 11:54:34

I actually tut to myself if the phone rings in a 'how dare you' fashion. Terrible.

Ha me too. I would much rather talk face to face with someone than use the phone. I don't know why I'm like this. Sometimes I have to write down what I need to say before I ring someone because I get myself all tongue tied.

ZebraOwl Sun 17-Feb-13 11:55:33

YANBU

I hate using the phone. Hate hate hatey hate hate ON STILTS. Will go to great lengths to avoid having to do so. Blegh.

Megatron Sun 17-Feb-13 11:59:09

I'm glad its not just me. I used to spend hours on the phone in my twenties but now its just such an effort.

makinglemonade Sun 17-Feb-13 12:00:02

briancox I could have written your post!

I hate talking on the phone. Find it awkward and annoying. Actually feel anxious if my phone rings when I'm not expecting it!

I too work in a customer facing role and regularly have to answer the phone and make calls. Doesn't bother me - don't give it a second thought really!

I will email and text everyone if I can get away with it. I even figured out how to get straight through to someone's voicemail rather than having to have a conversation!

GW297 Sun 17-Feb-13 12:02:44

I am exactly the same!

JambalayaCodfishPie Sun 17-Feb-13 12:05:51

I hate it. Really hate it. My first Saturday job, I had to call and remind optician patients of their appts. I used to not dial the last number, and leave a pretend voicemail message to nothing. It terrified me that much. Id also flip the phone to mute so it wouldn't ring and I wouldn't have to answer it.

My second job, the manager clicked that I avoided answering the phone and literally chased me around the restaurant one night and forced me to answer it. I got slightly better after that.

In my current job I will email, or go direct over using the phone. I hate it.

Laradaclara Sun 17-Feb-13 12:11:10

Me too. I'm also sociable and friendly but dislike many forms of remote communication including written but especially phones. After much thought I think this is because I rely quite a lot on non verbal cues and it matters to me that people take what I'm saying in the way it was intended. - I hate accidentally offending someone for exsmple! It's much easier to assess the response to what you say face to face.

Briancox, I work in a frontline role too, where answering the phone plays a major part. Doesn't help being whinged at by patients who think they are the only patients that attend the hospital.

Strangely enough, lip biting is another major part of my role that runs alongside the phone calls....GO F@#KING PRIVATE THEN, YOU UNGRATEFUL...grrrr.

I personally think this is why I would rather text, than speak on the phone when at home. Too much like being at work. I am on a monthly contract to send texts's, but not for calls, though.

Our landline phone is on a quiet-ish ring so not to disturb me too much.
And when it does ring, megatron, I also do the 'how very dare you' thing.
Sorry,meant to say, no, YANBU.

bollywoodfan Sun 17-Feb-13 12:19:47

My first job entailed taking a person's address over the phone and then post ing them an application form. If the manager was sat next to me I would disconnect the phone so that it wouldn't ring. I can't stand people listening to me on the phone. If I'm alone, its OK.
At work I have to take calls which are checked randomly. I feel so embarrased when I know someone is listening to me. I don't know why.

pixi2 Sun 17-Feb-13 12:21:53

I hate talking on phones too. I did it at work because I had to. Now I don't if I can avoid it. Even arranged dc swimming lessons via messaging on fb.

PuffPants Sun 17-Feb-13 12:23:57

I don't mind business/admin calls but I hate social calls. The only people I ever call in the phone for a chat are my parents (and DH if he's working away). I always arrange to see friends via text and I would never, ever ring for a chat.

I'm quite normal really but I do think this makes me a bit odd. The idea if ringing a friend "for a natter" leaves me cold.

OneHolyCow Sun 17-Feb-13 12:26:08

Nope, YANBU, I having a feast of recognition here! I HATE phones, borrowing stilts!! Did also happily chat away when I was younger but now I just hate it and will do a lot LOT LOT to avoid. English is not my first language which makes it more difficult I guess, if people have an accent or I don't know them or they talk too fast I feel silly if I don't understand them, hyperfocus and it gets just too tiring. Used to work as a social worker, very stressful and phone stress is not something I seem to be able to 'get over'. Did not know there were so many of us!

Euphemia Sun 17-Feb-13 12:28:19

There's actual swearing in our house when the phone rings. grin

It's either:

(A) bad news about my dad, or
(B) MIL.

Neither call is welcome.

I can't get turn-taking right on the phone - I get frustrated with MIL people talking over me all the time.

Megatron Sun 17-Feb-13 12:31:06

The weird thing is that if I'm phoning a bank or a retailer or something I go mad if I have to deal with a machine and not a real person. It appears that I am just an awkward bastard. grin

EuroShagmore Sun 17-Feb-13 12:47:40

Me too, OP. I HATE the phone. I am quite sociable and love talking to people face to face, but I hate the phone.

Luckily, I work in an international area, and most of my colleagues and clients are in different time zones, so I communicate with them 90% of the time by email.

spiderlight Sun 17-Feb-13 12:54:27

Me too! DS almost missed out on a party last week because the other mum had only put a landline number on the invite and I had to ring rather than text to RSVP. It took me about four days to psych myself up for what was literally a five-second conversation. It's pathetic! I always worry that I'll be ringing at a bad time or interrupting something vital.

CremeEggThief Sun 17-Feb-13 12:59:31

YANBU. Any other method of communication is preferable.

pixi2 Sun 17-Feb-13 13:01:05

Just remembered.....our house phone never rings as I have turned the sound off.

Flossyfloof Sun 17-Feb-13 13:03:07

Moi aussi! I screen almost every call, even if it means I have to call back - I suppose it means I do that under my own conditions. I used to be a real party animal, would chat to friends for hours on the phone. Now I hate it. Although when I worked I used the phone all the time. I think you are a bit weird and so are we all.
Seriously it can be an issue. I have ignored kindly phone calls from relatives since my Dad's death, even resorting to answering but when I realise who it is bellowing "Hello? Hello? HELLO????" then tutting and putting the phone down. Not sure if that foold anyone but it gets rid of them, anyway. How awful is that?

Megatron Sun 17-Feb-13 13:06:25

I've done that too Flossy how awful is that?

mum11970 Sun 17-Feb-13 13:07:58

I hate phones too. Thank god I've got caller id so I can just ignore any numbers I don't recognise or people I can't be bothered talking to. My mum can talk pure drivel for hours on the phone and I'm get to the point ASAP, goodbye.

GW297 Sun 17-Feb-13 13:08:06

This is very reassuring! I screen all calls and almost never answer!

xxDebstarxx Sun 17-Feb-13 13:11:26

I hate ringing people because you don't know if you are interrupting them doing something and for some reason if you have people will answer the phone and moan that you have interrupted them. I always feel like saying why did you bloody answer then?!

I love having caller display because if a number is withheld/blocked someone I don't want to speak to I won't answer it.

myalias Sun 17-Feb-13 13:21:45

Yes can't stand it and I can tell who it is going to be most of the time. If it is Sunday after 8pm it will be my bil, when he has had all day to call!!!!!!!! other times he calls are when we are just about to eat/get in the door from work or just on our way out somewhere. My ds thinks it's highly amusing and insists on giving the phone to me as he knows it winds me up - oh and when he does ring my dh is at work or in the bath grin

In this day and age with mobiles and emails there is no need to phone someone. I would gladly get rid of my landline for good.

acrabadabra Sun 17-Feb-13 13:35:54

Hate phone calls. Love texts/email.

Always assumed it was because we didn't get a phone till I was in my teens and then it was a party line. You had to be quick or one of your neighbours would be interupting you so they could use it.

<disclaimer: I am not ancient. I am 35 38 >

hiddenhome Sun 17-Feb-13 14:54:07

I don't answer the landline and just leave it to the others to get it. I'll only answer my mobile if I can see who it is who's calling.

I sometimes ignore the phone at work blush

I often struggle to hear what's being said - not due to any hearing problem as I've had my hearing checked - I just struggle with hearing over the phone and making the words out for some reason.

PessimisticMissPiggy Sun 17-Feb-13 15:02:06

YANBU but I'm the opposite. I have to spend ages writing out emails/text to ensure that they sound 'right' and would rather pick up the 'phone.

My bf is like you and I find it really hard because I'd love to call her and have a chat. We live 100+ miles apart and sometimes a text just doesn't cut it especially when you really need to talk.

It has meant that news such as 'I'm pregnant' etc. have come via text and I don't get to convey my feelings to her spontaneously! A human voice isn't the same as Text/email.

YANBU chuckling to myself at most of what's been written. I thought it was just me! Phew.

Hate chatting. My mum just wants to fill airspace for hours, drives

GoingBackToSchool Sun 17-Feb-13 15:45:49

I hate it too, I'm a much better texter.
When I was in primary school (I still remember so it must have scarred me!) one of my 'friends' rang me at home pretending to be another of my friends and told me that they didn't want to be my friend anymore. Children are cruel sad

andubelievedthat Sun 17-Feb-13 16:45:58

Iam with you ! if i have to, i will quickly exchange facts and hang up.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

JeeanieYuss Mon 18-Feb-13 01:27:19

Thank heavens there are people like me out there!
You ANBU at all, and I am glad to see that their are so many other like minded people out there too, lol!!!

JeeanieYuss Mon 18-Feb-13 01:27:51

Talk about repeating myself blush

LineRunner Mon 18-Feb-13 01:34:23

God, this is me, too.

I don't want to be unkind about any of my family and friends but why do they need to go on and on for so long? I have things to do.

I hate talking to banks or businesses because they always try to sell me insurance.

MyCannyBairn Mon 18-Feb-13 01:45:29

I loathe phonecalls cept for oh, mum and MIL ( yes really ), I also find texting awkward as sometimes it's not always obvious when the conversation has ' ended '. I used to love email, now I just can't be arsed. I only have equally cynical non boastful bitter contacts on fb just so I don't get lame shite on there tho sometimes I add someone I thought was ok and turns out to post showy offy shite .

ToysRLuv Mon 18-Feb-13 02:25:12

I hate the phone. I only ever happily call or answer a call from DM or DH. Everyone else gets voice mail and a text back from me (unless it's the HV or dentist, bank etc - in which case they will have to wait until I have amassed the courage to call back.. in fact, the HV is still waiting to hear back from me right now, a week after she first called blush ).

I much prefer texting and e-mail (you can construct what you're saying with thought and time - not being put on the spot, like with the phone). English is my second language, which also has an effect (when I get nervous I forget words and stutter). Additionally, I find I have a very hard time understanding accents (Indian, broad Irish, Glaswegian, etc.) on the phone and am too embarrassed to say "excuse me, what was that you said, please" for the tenth time, so just agree with whatever they say and end up with a new phone contract, or something else (happened twice), I didn't want, just to get rid of the callers sad. I hate how they try to push you stuff at any given moment and it's not always clear whether it's free or a paid service or what. Gets me so nervous!

So, I try to get DH to call people like banks and phone provider for me. It's quite embarrassing and often DH can't speak for me for legal reasons, so will have to hand me the phone back for at least the confirmation of personal details, which is bad enough..

DM used to call people for me, so I guess I was one of those kids the OP about teenagers not being able to sort out their own stuff and having interfering mums, was about. sad

I have had several jobs where phone contact (sometimes even cold calling shock ) was an integral part of it. I felt suicidal every morning. Didn't dream about ever ignoring the phone, though. So had to pull through with every ounce of internal strength. I'm clearly too conscientious for my own good. What these jobs taught me, is that I CAN make and take calls, but hate it and stress is sometimes off the charts, so I now choose not to - if I can avoid it.

Despite having 3 uni degrees, I used to dream about working in a supermarket store room at night or somewhere where there would be NO contact with ANYONE, except peers. I now happily run a small (well, it's a start-up) craft business from home, using e-mail for my contacts.

weegiemum Mon 18-Feb-13 02:34:16

I HATE the phone! At work I make multiple calls "hey person I've never met, would you consider funding my project?" but at home I religiously screen calls and only answer my dc. My dad, my dh and my best friend!

Dottiespots Mon 18-Feb-13 02:42:11

Me too so are we phone phobic then???

Loughrigg Mon 18-Feb-13 02:52:28

I hate the phone. We are just about to get a land line again and I an dreading it.

I currently have some one who has phoned my mobile at least 4 times this week and I have ignored. It is a mobile number but not sure who. It may well be the builder who I do really need to talk to. Why can't he send a text?!

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