to be terrorized by my new washing machine?

(47 Posts)
cozietoesie Sat 16-Feb-13 12:16:09

The old and much loved machine was pretty simple. I would put it on 30 or 40 degrees on the left hand side of the dial (for synthetics) or 30, 40 or 60 on the right hand side for cottons and bedclothes. Job done.

Then it died and I had to get a new one (not easy to afford) which arrived today.

It seems to have 146 and a half programs complete with flashing lights and computer controls. I've read the instructions twice and they still are gobbledegook. All I want to do is make a start on the washing backlog and have some clean clothes and bedding for us - but I can't work out how! I've retreated upstairs with the instructions to read them for a third time.

Have you all got your washing machines under control easily or am I being a total wimp?


PS - I can (just about) understand the elf and safety guidelines on 'explosions' but I note that mine also say 'Do not climb onto the washing machine'. Am I missing some vital experience here?

McNewPants2013 Sat 16-Feb-13 12:23:56

Had my washing machine for 2 months and I am still trying to figure it out.

Pigsmummy Sat 16-Feb-13 12:34:59

Even though your washing machine has 146 and a half programs you will find that you will use only the same number of programs as before!

Wishiwasanheiress Sat 16-Feb-13 12:38:31

Depends which is it? One of us might be able to tell u how?

Ours bizarrely plays Jingle bells when it's finished. Now that's sodding irritating! It's feb ffs. Why that tune?!?

cozietoesie Sat 16-Feb-13 12:38:38

Well that's fine Pigsmummy. If only I could find out what they were!

Wishiwasanheiress Sat 16-Feb-13 12:40:00

Sorry just snorted my lunchtime coke all over place at ur ps. I won't say what came to mind but maybe it's a bit of a shaker?!? smile

cozietoesie Sat 16-Feb-13 12:40:57

A Bosch, Wish.

Dear goodness. Jingle bells????

Fenouille Sat 16-Feb-13 12:43:06

YABU - get your DH to do the washing like I do I'm a lazy sod

cozietoesie Sat 16-Feb-13 12:48:17

Not a chance. I was away working one week and he decided to clear up the laundry. Put some vintage pure wool and cashmere sweaters in the machine.

freddiefrog Sat 16-Feb-13 12:51:24


I've had my machine for a couple of years and only ever used 2 of the settings - cold and quick, hotter and longer

I have absolutely no clue what the rest of the settings are, how to work it or what the point of them are.

Fenouille Sat 16-Feb-13 12:56:51

Then he needs to do it more often so he can learn the nuances (or you have to downgrade your wardrobe grin ). DH has managed to shrink a couple of my jumpers so now I sort the really delicate stuff to the side and wash it separately when I can be bothered

soaccidentprone Sat 16-Feb-13 13:02:54

I've got a Bosch.

does it have a settings knob on the right and the buttons in the middle for changing the temperature, spin speed etc?

cozietoesie Sat 16-Feb-13 13:15:55


It's got knobs and buttons where I haven't even got pimples! I've put a load on now. There was washing liquid put in the drum and it's going round and round. More than that I can not hope.


StepAwayFromTheEcclesCakes Sat 16-Feb-13 13:56:30

I have washing machine envy, mine is very ordinary and does not sing to me at all, not even Jingle bells sad

McNewPants2013 Sat 16-Feb-13 16:02:49

Mine has a baby wash feature ( 2 DC and didn't realise you had to wash baby clothes seperate) and beeps when it finished, my tumble dryer has a light inside and beeps when it finishes ( very annoying)

MousyMouse Sat 16-Feb-13 16:11:34

baby wash feature hope no one put a baby in the mashine...
my mashine is great, it has one dial for temp and one for programmes.
I still use only about 3 settings. and it only beeps very loudly when finished.

EssexGurl Sat 16-Feb-13 16:30:24

I have worked out one programme on mine that can wash in a reasonably short period of time. It has lots of different temperature / time settings that I can't cope with.

Mine also beeps when it finishes and DD usually runs and tells me the washing maching needs me. When I am on my own, I often shout to it that I am coming.

DH describes it as our third child it is so demanding.

I have had my washing machine for three years. I use the same setting for everything. I don't know if its the right one, it works and I'm not changing anything. Yes, I'm scared.

CountTurdula Sat 16-Feb-13 17:15:43

My dryer beeps and beeps til you switch the fucker off. No good if you want to stick a load on overnight. hmm My friends dryer has an option to cancel the beep. Jealous.

TomArchersSausage Sat 16-Feb-13 17:27:39

I live in a state of confusion about most of my appliances. When we had the kitchen done recently I had to learn how 6 new things work at onceconfused. The cooker hood seems to be faulty (or possessed) and just does it's own thing. I've waved a white flag of surrender on that one.

I only use the same two or three progarammes on my washing machine all the time.

Everything does too much!

Montybojangles Sat 16-Feb-13 17:56:19

Hope it went well.
Have a similar problem with my new(ish) oven. As its so sooper dooper and energy efficient apparently 180 degrees is actually 160 etc, etc. no logical correlation between numbers, so can't just minus say 20 to get right temperature. Have to check the bloody instructions every single time I use it.

catladycourtney1 Sat 16-Feb-13 18:04:08

My washing machine had a ridiculous number of programs. Needless to say, I only use two. It doesn't beep or play or tune though, I feel a bit left out. Although I imagine it's quite annoying, my microwave keeps beeping until you open the door once it's finished and that's irritating enough for me.

My washer appears to have broken mid cycle, I'll help decipher your instructions if you can help me figure out how to get my soggy half washed clothes out of a locked washing machine before I have to go back to work on Monday with nothing to wear'

cozietoesie Sat 16-Feb-13 19:54:20

The best of luck, Purple.

It's stopped. The washing is evenly damp so I'm hopeful. The fabric conditioner hasn't been touched but I reckon that that's me and not the machine.

I yearn for the days of uni when I washed everything by hand in a cold water flat. (Heating water with a kettle and soaking things.)

Theicingontop Sat 16-Feb-13 19:57:25

Mine shouts at me with an annoying, upbeat ditty when it's finished its load. Bloody rude if you ask me. My old one didn't shout at me sad

TheCountessOlenska Sat 16-Feb-13 20:06:33

I've got a Bosch - it's a washer/dryer one. I do like it (is lasting much longer than previous washer/dryer so far) but yes I only use 1 setting and adjust the temp to either 40 or 60. Oh and sometimes if in a hurry use the super quick setting.

I don't know how to turn off the beeps though - is it even possible? DD and DH come and tell me that the washing machine needs me (he does do other domestic chores, just fears the Bosch) !

cozietoesie Sat 16-Feb-13 20:18:24

Beeps are an issue I believe. It arises, I understand, from Bosch being dead bossy and reckoning that machines should not be left live when finished (elf and safety.) Mine is in the basement and I'm on the top floor. It can beep its little heart out and I won't care.

Murtette Sat 16-Feb-13 21:00:45

We have a new washing machine which beeps. We also have a new baby. I keep waking up thinking I've heard the baby but actually its the beeps which have woken me. So, I lie there, trying to ignore them & go off to sleep but always concede defeat and stumble through the house in the dark to turn the washing machine off, go back to bed &, just as I fall asleep, the baby wakes for a feed. I do think there is a way for me to turn the beeps off, I just haven't learned how.

However, I have found it (a Bosch) quite instinctive to use & have used at least 6 programmes (normal 30, normal 40, fast 30, fast 40, boil (exploding nappies & vomit), wool (for the cashmere babygros we were given - why?!!!!) and need to find out how I machine wash cashmere babygros covered in sick).

The beeps are summoning me....

MousyMouse Sat 16-Feb-13 21:12:41

cashmere babygros? shock
soak them in shampoo before washing?

MousyMouse Sat 16-Feb-13 21:14:25

then cold woolcycle with delicate detergent or shampoo.
no spin.
roll washed garments into a towel and ly flat to dry.

cozietoesie Sat 16-Feb-13 21:18:40

Oh my. Cashmere babygros.

blackeyedsusan Sat 16-Feb-13 22:13:34

bosch are brilliant...

I only use 2 programs regularly and 2 rarely, plus rrinse and spin on occasions.

the beeps drive me insane though. seems they are supposed to though. they must have done some research. I can hear those but can't hear my mobile phone ring..

FlouncingMintyy Sat 16-Feb-13 22:16:36

I will never, ever, ever, so help me God, buy an appliance that beeps at me when it is finished. I know I would just end up screaming at it.

FlouncingMintyy Sat 16-Feb-13 22:18:31

I use 3 washes regularly (60, 50 and 40) and one occasionally (woollens).

Seriously ... what else do you (does one) need?

NotSoNervous Sat 16-Feb-13 22:28:48

I've had my one 2 years and still haven't worked out how to put it on a short wash! stupid DP threw the instructions out

Hassled Sat 16-Feb-13 22:32:31

Mine plays a merry little "I'm finished now" tune and then turns itself off - I'd go insane if it started beeping at me.

I have approximately 764 cycle options and use 3 of them - 40C cotton, 60C cotton (yes, I have things other than cotton but my thinking is that the machine has no way of knowing what's inside) and the Quick Wash.

cozietoesie Mon 18-Feb-13 11:30:38

Well I went down to the basement and it wasn't beeping. Either I've got a model that's learned a tad or it just gave up.

lashingsofbingeinghere Mon 18-Feb-13 13:05:27

I've inherited a Hotpoint washer/dryer and it is absolutely inscrutable. Luckily I have a very nice house trained and obedient Miele which I can drive with ease.

The Hotpoint has some kind of "daily" programme menu which is the only one I ever managed to make work for me. Anything else - nope. You can hear it cranking up and water going in on the 40C 60' cycle but then it stops. I only discovered this after thinking I'd put on a wash, going away for an hour, coming back and finding my dirty washing still sitting there. No idea why or what I was doing wrong. Yes I know I should download the manual but it shouldn't be that difficult.

Genuine question - who invents all these "cycles"and programmes? Do they ever actually wash anything themselves in a normal domestic situation? Do they ever have a full load of synthetic delicates that they want to wash the day after tomorrow on the water saving cycle when there's an R in the month? Thought not.

haggisaggis Mon 18-Feb-13 13:15:08

My Bosch beeps when it's finished too...louds, really annoying "BEEEEP" then waits a bit and tries again. Repeats a few times but does stop eventually if I can manage to ignore it. It does have this really annoying feature though of refusing to spin quickly if you don't have the contents evenly balances - so can't put a bath mat in with shirts..oh no, not good enough for Mr Bosch. Can only put a bath mat in with heavy towles or other bath mats - and even then if they're not evenly balanced it refuses to spin. (thought it was a fault until I complained to Bosch but no, it's meant to do that to save the bearings...!)

Theicingontop Mon 18-Feb-13 13:22:22

Ooh Hassled is yours a Samsung too? I figured out how to turn the music off this morning :D

TheCountessOlenska Mon 18-Feb-13 13:27:47

Ha ha - yes the Bosch bleeping does give up eventually!

Oooh that is very interesting haggis - I have noticed the spin thing before, sometimes my washing come out wet. Unevenly balanced washing then!

jojane Mon 18-Feb-13 13:39:48

We just got a new washing machine and I use on setting - mixed fAbrics, it had loads of different settings, speeds, temps etc including a baby clothes setting. I don't bother seperating clothes apart from whites so its all mixed!!
My friend has a microwave that talks to you, tells you exactly what's happening eg door open, door closed etc!! I swear at it "yes I bloody know door is closed I just bloody closed it!!" When I use it, it makes me irrationally anoyed!

greenhill Mon 18-Feb-13 13:44:42

I've got a Bosch Classixx it is very bossy.
The beeps can go on for more than 30 minutes if left <looked like the chihuahua from Ren and Stimpy when I tried that experiment>

Does anyone know how to remove the detergent drawer from it? it is a little grubby <gross understatement>

Maryz Mon 18-Feb-13 13:48:15

Mine has eleventy million programmes too.

I have taught dh and the kids to use "D" for dirty.

The only other programmes I have every used are the rinse and spin option and the occasionally very hot wash for bedclothes.

All the programmes take fecking hours though - except for the quickwash one which I tried once and decided to rename quicknotwash.

EspressoMonkey Mon 18-Feb-13 13:57:55

It says do not climb on your new washing machine? I would take it back to the shop then, no point in having a new washing machine if it doesn't do two jobs at the same time.

And FWIW i have a new tumble drier with instructions in German, Danish, Czech and Slovakian. I don't speak any of those languages and it is far too complex to work out without the instruction book so it has been sat unused in my basement for 11 days and counting...

napkin Mon 18-Feb-13 19:13:40

New washing machines seem to be awful compared to the older models. I seem to find they wear clothes out with the low water level they now use and cycles seem to last forever! sad

ZebraOwl Mon 18-Feb-13 21:30:39

We got a new washing machine a year or two ago. I made sure I could make sense of it (& would be able to use it without breaking myself) when choosing it. Also made sure I could explain it to My Big Bother easily wink

Our tumble dryer is older than I am. I think it is older than my Bother as I assume it was bought when my parents got married. In August 1979. I fear one of the heating elements in the dryer has now gone though, so I might have to bid it a genuinely sad farewell.

Bon Courage with bending the technology to your will.

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