To cry every time I hear Slipping through my fingers in Mamma Mia

(148 Posts)
crazy8 Tue 12-Feb-13 23:44:47

I have a gorgeous, beautiful sometimes bratty DD who is 7. I can't imagine her growing up and leaving home. I know it will happen one day.

I don't cry - but my stomach flips over every time I hear it. DD is 16 months.

pookamoo Tue 12-Feb-13 23:48:16

YANBU I cried at this in the maternity unit. DD1 was two days old and it was already going too fast!

crazy8 Tue 12-Feb-13 23:48:28

I can't wait until she gets in my bed in the morning now for a cuddle.

Startail Tue 12-Feb-13 23:48:47

Don't DD1 is 15, all too soon she'll be off at college.

Her younger sister (12) is lovely, but she's far more the teenager.

DD1 is happy to chat and do things with her parents, it will be so quiet.

eachtigertires Tue 12-Feb-13 23:52:41

My mum cries every time we listen to that song together even though I am much much older than your daughter

Bakingnovice Tue 12-Feb-13 23:54:48

Oh god, have a lump in my throat just reading this thread. Cannot even think of not having dd in my life 24/7. In fact am already trying hard to be brave about her starting reception in sept.

ladymariner Tue 12-Feb-13 23:55:28

I've just cried too watching it, and gone upstairs to hug ds......who is 17, holed up in his den listening to thrash metal and who promptly rolled his eyes at me and groaned grin

thebody Tue 12-Feb-13 23:58:39

I can't believe u texted this.

Our dd nearly did really slip through our fingers this time last year.

The girls coach she was on, a school trip crashed and all the girls were injured, some still suffering including my dd and some injured for life.

We are meeting for lunch next week, mums and dds and I keep just thinking if that track.

Beautifully terrible.

rootypig Wed 13-Feb-13 00:04:14

oh man, am bawling. DD is 14 weeks! no hope

crazy8 Wed 13-Feb-13 00:09:13

The body. How awful. Am very glad your daughter is ok. We will all have to hug our DC tmrw. My DS1 and DS2 think I am nuts and am an over protective mother. Luckily my DD is still young enough not to notice how mad I am!

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsase Wed 13-Feb-13 00:17:31

It made me cry before I even had children, made me weep when DS was born,and now with DD I am inconsolable. I won't even allow her to carry her school bag as it reminds me of the song too much.

JeeanieYuss Wed 13-Feb-13 08:39:48

Just youtube'd it as I don't remeber it from film, what a lovely, sad song..
Time goes to quickly sad

JeeanieYuss Wed 13-Feb-13 08:39:58

Just youtube'd it as I don't remeber it from film, what a lovely, sad song..
Time goes too quickly sad

Fairylea Wed 13-Feb-13 08:49:11

Yanbu. I always cry. And I think about my own relationship with my mum too.

thegreylady Wed 13-Feb-13 08:51:04

Look on YouTube for the 60's Kodak advert song Turn Around. That makes me cry. "Turn around and she's growing. Turn around and she's grown. Turnaround and she's a young wife with babes of her own."
Dated but poignant. My dd is 38 now, it has all come true :-)

lottie63 Wed 13-Feb-13 08:54:54

I cry too.

Wildwaterfalls Wed 13-Feb-13 08:55:02

Oh yes, crying at this before I had DD, now I can barely listen to it any more.

And 'In my daughter's eyes' by Martina McBride.. Sniff sniff

newbiebaby Wed 13-Feb-13 09:12:40

Why I don't know but just you tubed it and am balling my eyes out!!!

Makes me cry too!

DeafLeopard Wed 13-Feb-13 09:24:14

Nothing to add but <<sobs>>

AngryBeaver Wed 13-Feb-13 09:27:53

Oh god yes, dd is 6. And I love to sing.
I cannot. ever.finish.that song.
It catches in my throat at "the feeling that I'm losing her forever..." sad

AngryBeaver Wed 13-Feb-13 09:30:46

Oh balls, just tried again...blubbing now!

SamuelWestsMistress Wed 13-Feb-13 09:41:59

I hate this. Mine are DS 7, dd 5 and ds2, 3. They drive me mental, especially during the day. They fight, argue, ds1 yells at me, stomps around, they make mess, cause chaos, don't listen, don't do as they're told, moan if we have to go anywhere "boring". I constantly seem to be yelling at them or telling them off. I just got mega pissed off AGAIN because one of them isn't flushing the toilet after using it. Grrrrrr. They really do drive me nuts and sometimes I could just string them up by their feet and run away and never to return!

Then once they're in bed I sometimes get really tears about them growing up and want to climb into bed next to each of them and sob!

It's a no win situation it really is!

Bakingnovice Wed 13-Feb-13 09:42:27

Stop It everyone I'm a wreck again this morning. Every word is true. Time just goes so fast and before you know it they've gone.

I grew up listening to Abba and me and my mum used to sing "Slipping through my fingers" I could never understand why mum cried.

Now I have my own DC I sob every time I hear itsad

Schoolbag in hand, she leaves home in the early morning
Waving goodbye with an absent-minded smile
I watch her go with a surge of that well known sadness
And I have to sit down for a while
The feeling that I'm losing her forever
And without really entering her world
I'm glad whenever I can share her laughter
That funny little girl.

DD is almost 5, DS is 7, I feel like i've blinked and missed it all. <Blub> sad

And this bit......

Do I really see what's in her mind
Each time I think I'm close to knowing
She keeps on growing
Slipping through my fingers all the time

Good god, Balling my eyes out now sad

Shodan Wed 13-Feb-13 10:02:52

Oh god it's awful.

I get a sore throat and snotty nose when I listen to it- I have just one more year with DS1 until he leaves home for uni.

Ugh. I am going to be one of those mad women who goes into their bedroom to sniff the left-behind clothes, I just know it blush

ladymariner Wed 13-Feb-13 10:17:01

You and me both shodan xx

hippoherostandinghere Wed 13-Feb-13 10:29:45

Had to You tube that song and it made my cry especially the line 'funny little girl'.

Butterfly Kisses makes me cry every time, especially when I was getting married.

MsVestibule Wed 13-Feb-13 10:42:32

Although I've always liked Abba, I'd never heard this song before the film Mamma Mia. I was watching it cuddled up on the sofa with my DD (now 6) a few months ago on a rainy afternoon. This song came on and I just started crying sobbing which set DD off too!

She drives me nuts sometimes, but it's impossible to think that one day soon she won't want me to be involved in every aspect of her life and thoughts. <sobs again>

choceyes Wed 13-Feb-13 10:51:45

Never watched Mamma mia and don't wish to, but have head the Abba version. Yes it is sad. Got a lump in my throat right now. DS is 4 and DD is 2. They drive me nuts and I always wish they would grow up quicker (especially DD - please grow up and sleep through the night!! - I've had over 4yrs of disturbed nights and I've had enough!!). But it is awful to think that one day they will go off on their own and I won't see them everyday anymore. I have 7 more months with DS before he goes off to school in Sept. Must make the most of them.

pookamoo Wed 13-Feb-13 10:51:45

STOP IT ALL OF YOU I am tearing up just reading the thread! grin

springlamb Wed 13-Feb-13 10:53:39

I think the song was specially written for the play/film (by whatsisface).

I can't bear to listen to it. You think you have it bad, with your 6 and 7 yr old dds, wait until they are 11 and you are watching it happen day by day.

Waiting for the 1 March letter to say which secondary school she'll be at for the next 7 years.
Nodding gravely at her suggestion that she hides a small sanitary towel in her rucksack in case she starts her periods at school.
Being told by violin teacher that less than a year after moving to a 1/2 size, she now needs a 3/ could I not have noticed!
Measuring her chest at her request to ensure she doesn't need a bra yet like her friend...I hope I was right in saying that 27AAA means we have a little time.
Respecting her decision to start using the upstairs bathroom rather than the downstairs shower room (then hanging around in her towel for 20 mins like she used to).
Spontaneously hugging her older brother after his acting performance last night and yelling 'you were great'...she used to hate him.

God I'm going back to bed or something.

Bogeyface Wed 13-Feb-13 10:57:01

Spring, it wasnt, its a proper ABBA song from years back.

I always tear up hearing it. "What happened to the wonderful adventures....." that bit always gets to me.

MsVestibule Wed 13-Feb-13 11:04:16

Just watched it on Youtube twice get three pieces of kitchen roll first and blubbed lots more. Bogey me too - and it's not even big adventures she's bothered about. Far too often, I'll say impatiently 'in a minute, I'm busy' when she wants me to colour in with her or read to her sad.

springlamb Wed 13-Feb-13 11:04:17

Really? Well I never knew that, I never ever heard it before! I shall hunt it down, I'd like to hear their version. I must be confusing it with some other project Beny and Bjorn provided original stuff for.

Spice17 Wed 13-Feb-13 11:07:26

It was played at my cousins funeral, she was only 44 and died of a brain tumour leavinng 2 children, so cannot listen to it without sobbing uncontrollably. It was absolutley heartbreakingly awful at the funeral as you can imagine.

I also now have a 4 month old DD, so has a double meaning. Tearing up just thinking about it.

Floggingmolly Wed 13-Feb-13 11:09:13

My dd is 12. The sang a (slightly modified) version of this at the Year 6 leavers assembly last year; and the hall nearly had to be swabbed out with mops and buckets. I still can't watch the recording without dissolving again sad

Scrazy Wed 13-Feb-13 11:10:01

YANBU. I first heard it when I went to see Mamma Mia at the cinema and didn't expect to be sobbing uncontrollably at what was a feel good film.

I was a single mum of one teen daughter, so the lyrics got to me.

Bogeyface Wed 13-Feb-13 11:11:28

They did co-write Chess with Tim Rice, that might be what you are thinking of. Imo the original version is better than the Mama Mia version.

ledkr Wed 13-Feb-13 11:13:39

I feel ok until when she says all the and we had. Dd is 11 and I get all regretful that we haven't had any adventures like living on a lush Greek island with lots of exciting friends

TisILeclerc Wed 13-Feb-13 11:14:33

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scrazy Wed 13-Feb-13 11:21:14

It was an actual Abba song. I liked their version but only goggled it after I saw the film.

The lines that got me was 'What happened to those wonderful adventure, the places we had planned to go and see, well some of them we did but most we didn't and why I just don't know'. This inspired me to make the most of DD and not put off lovely holidays etc.

The other line was 'I watch her go with a...... and I sense of guilt I cannot hide'. I brought her up on my own from day one and yes, sometimes I felt guilt at her not having the normal family set-up.

She is now at uni and tells me how proud she was of me and the way she was brought up.

Welling up now reading this thread.

ladymariner Wed 13-Feb-13 12:11:24

"the wonderful adventures....." lines are the ones that set me off too, I look at ds and he's so grown up and handsome and becoming more and more independent and I think I'd give anything to do it all over again with him.....oh god, I'm going again.....

FreudiansSlipper Wed 13-Feb-13 12:18:51

I have started to cry long before while watching MM through boredom

I do not feel like about ds, I often wish time would slow down. I want him to go off and see the world when he is old enough after university

littlejo67 Wed 13-Feb-13 12:19:21

I was so choked when I saw this song. Had to watch it a few times. It stirred up memories, especially the bit where mum was running her fingers through her daughters hair. I did that for my daughter all the time. My daughter died in 2002 when she was nearly ten. It was a terminal illness. So slipping through my fingers is so apt. I see 20yr old girls now and think how beautiful they are and how lucky the parents are- that should be me. I have two boys as well but she was my only daughter. The time is so precious, its good to know that people realise what they have while they still have it.

pigletmania Wed 13-Feb-13 12:20:35

Reminds me of jade goodies funeral, they played that there

pigletmania Wed 13-Feb-13 12:21:28

Littlejo so sad for you big hugs

littlejo67 Wed 13-Feb-13 12:24:31

Thank you piglet.

Floggingmolly Wed 13-Feb-13 12:26:03

Oh littlejo, sad

eminemmerdale Wed 13-Feb-13 12:26:24

littlejo sad I am so sorry.
I have a 22 year old dd and a 7 year old dd and,due to many things, wasn't the best mum to dd22 sad When I first heard that song I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed. So true. 'sometimes I wish that I could freeze the picture..' Oh yes please.

FreudiansSlipper Wed 13-Feb-13 12:29:40

littlejo I am sorry sad

We can all miss a time that has passed too quickly but a time that can never be is heartbreakingly sad I hope you can remember the happier times with your dd x

Yep - a veritable sobfest here whenever I hear it, and I am crying now.

So sorry for your loss littlejo.

Fillyjonk75 Wed 13-Feb-13 12:37:15

Littlejo, my deepest sympathies for your loss.

I'd never heard the song until Mamma Mia, was it written for the film/show? I knew all the other Abba songs in it.

pigletmania Wed 13-Feb-13 12:39:34

I agree dd is 5 and has ASD I have not been the best mum to her, I am trying to before its too late

littlejo67 Wed 13-Feb-13 13:06:21

Thank you all for your kind words. Freudian, so true - it is painful when we also grieve for a future that was stolen from us.

bruffin Wed 13-Feb-13 13:10:15

First time I head it was at the cinema with Dd then 13. I sobbed as well. Toy Story 3 had the same effect on me as Ds 17 was born the year toy story came out and was always a huge buzz fan andcwill hopefully be off to university next year.

SassySpice Wed 13-Feb-13 13:16:40

I cried too when I saw it at the cinema.
I've watched the DVD many times, and always have to pause it to recover my composure after this scene.
When I watched it with DH I had to go upstairs when the scene began as I knew he'd laugh at me sobbing and I would have punched him

Abitwobblynow Wed 13-Feb-13 13:52:59

Has anyone else noticed how dark some Abba songs are? They sound so pop and 'wall of sound' but the lyrics are really meaningful.

'Winner takes it all'

Errr... [mind gone blank]

It is lovely to hear how much you love your little peeps. And it really is true: how I wish I could turn back the clock and have them all over again. I would have had more, and this time NEVER got impatient, once confused

Abitwobblynow Wed 13-Feb-13 13:54:25

And for when your sones are pre-teen: Master and Commander.

When the little midshipman gets his arm cut off. And the little lieutenant gets killed.


Abitwobblynow Wed 13-Feb-13 13:57:32

And another one!

Wall-E. When Eva goes blank and withdrawn, and he keeps calling to her: Eva, Eva

This film was on when my H was having an affair (but I didnt' know), and this is what it was like.
Or if one of my chidren died!

[Wobbly wailing]

awaynboilyurheid Wed 13-Feb-13 14:15:19

Daughter no2, my baby, has just left home too so yes I do shed a tear bawl eyes out when I hear that song she will be back its only for a few months then I can go back to happily moaning about the mess she makes again!

ladymariner Wed 13-Feb-13 14:32:08

Toy Story 3 had me absolutely howling.....I watched in the cinema with dh, ds and friends and I was in absolutely bits. He too will hopefully be going to university next year and the thought of him leaving home is breaking my heart (although not in front of him, obviously!), so when Andy gave the toys away it was just so poignant.....I was a total mess and then even when we got out to the car park I started again!!!! And pretty much every time I've watched it since......(note to self, for gods sake toughen up, woman!!!)

Fillyjonk75 Wed 13-Feb-13 14:34:37

I can't watch any Toy Storys as I find them too melancholic/sad. Also I feel like I'm being manipulated. Not keen. Luckily neither are my kids.

Shagmundfreud Wed 13-Feb-13 14:39:07

SOBBED watching this for the first time.

But as I live in the SE I now comfort myself with the knowledge that my dc's won't be able to move out until they're 40, or until I die and leave them the house. Whichever comes sooner. grin

eminemmerdale Wed 13-Feb-13 14:41:00

I have never seen Mamma Mia, just know the song via my sad teenage obsession with Abba blush

eminemmerdale Wed 13-Feb-13 14:42:24

It's on the Album 'Visitors' 1977 I believe, written for Bjorn and agnaethas daughter. <goes to find a life>

Lynned Wed 13-Feb-13 14:46:08

Just thinking of my dn, nearly 13,' whose dm has missed nearly the whole damn lot, ( she died when dn was 2.5) hmm

shallweshop Wed 13-Feb-13 14:52:58

I am in tears just thinking about that song, let alone actually listening to it!! DD is 8 and I just want time to slow right down.

I hate it when people constantly say things like 'before you know it she'll be a teenager' and 'it seems like yesterday that so and so was that age' etc. I try hard to appreciate every second and beat myself up if I have had a shouty day.

DDs 18 and I am so not ready to let her go sad but I will have to let her I know, can`t listen to that song. Oh its gone so fast.

shallweshop Wed 13-Feb-13 14:58:01

Still in tears and need to pull myself together for the school run!

bloody hell, stupidly just listened to it sad sobbing like a blardy idiot now. DD making cakes for a fund raising thing shes doing tomorrow and needs my help with the icing, so she still needs me grin

But, it is horrible as it only seemed like yesterday that she use to slip her little hand in mine as we walked along, I loved that and remember thinking then I must`nt ever forget that feel.

Lambzig Wed 13-Feb-13 15:07:39

I put it on my ipod, but cant listen to it out in public as I howl inconsolably. DD is 3 and I cant bear that one day she wont hold my hand.

nooka Wed 13-Feb-13 15:28:50

I've never really understood the premise of the song as I love watching both my children grow up and have no regrets for the past (especially the screaming times!). I'm also looking forward to them leaving home and starting their own independent adventures.

But of course it's not unreasonable for other people to feel sad, I just don't share it (especially as my 12 year old keeps telling me how she'd like to speed up time and get through high school fast as she finds it so stressful).

maddening Wed 13-Feb-13 15:30:36

I am one 2 cry at anything sentimental but the passing of time and childhood etc really get me - so yes I cry my heart out at slipping through my fingers. And am now in tears just thinking about it all.

thebody Wed 13-Feb-13 16:12:09

I am at the dentists waiting for dd to finish. I have tears streaming down my face. Unbearably poignant for me this month.

That and the royal family episode when nanna says to Barbara that she was glad she was going to die with her family and not in a home.

Both unbearable.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Wed 13-Feb-13 16:31:42

Watched MM with my mum and I spotted the scene beginning and put the box of tissues between us. She gave me a proper hmm look but a few minutes later was reaching for them during the song and saying "you bastard!" grin

crazy8 Wed 13-Feb-13 16:42:08

Have just come home. Have started crying again reading all the comments. Little Jo- you have my deepest sympathies. I cannot begin to imagine what you have been through. Flogging Molly - you have made me catch my breath, cry and sob.

crazy8 Wed 13-Feb-13 16:50:52

It's funny isn't it how music is so emotive. I cry whenever I hear Luther Vandross sing Dance with my father as it reminds me so much about my dad Maybe by listening to songs that make us sob we will appreciate our loved ones a little bit more. My DD just spilt a drink and because I'm on this thread I wiped it up without moaning. I think she thinks I have gone mad grin

jamdonut Wed 13-Feb-13 16:50:57

Oh dear....tears!!

My daughter is 16 and "slipping through my fingers" gets me every time. She is everything I wished I was at her age. So proud of her...but missing her already,even though she's only just about to do her GCSE's!! She is destined for great things,and I can only watch in awe, as she inevitably moves on with her life...[proud and sad emoticons]

alemci Wed 13-Feb-13 16:51:24

made me cry when I went to see it at the cinema a few years' ago with my dd who was in Y9 so totally understand. Makes me fill up typing this message.

thebody Wed 13-Feb-13 17:01:16

Littlejo no words just hugs and hugs xxxxx

Bakingnovice Wed 13-Feb-13 19:56:12

Littlejo your post made me cry. Sending you hugs Abd kisses. Wet sloppy tear ridden kisses.

Elephant your post made me laugh out loud. My family think I've gone mad. I have bawled and howled with laughter in the space of ten minutes. Reading everyone's post has had me in tears. My kids have changed my life. I had a very very difficult childhood and want the best for them. I feel honoured to be in their lives. But everything is going so fast! My dd starts reception in sept and I will miss her dearly. I love spending days baking with her, trying to catch her to tie her hair up, singing songs with her, letting her give me pretend makeover, laughing with her, wiping her tears. My boys too are growing up fast, I miss carrying them to bed, kissing the soles of their feet when drying them after baths, striking their cheek while they sleep on my chest. I feel bad for all the times I say 'in a minute' to them all when I'm busy. It's been lovely to read all your stories.

Bakingnovice Wed 13-Feb-13 19:57:15

Stroking not striking! I never strike them (although have been tempted sometimes!).

Abitwobblynow Wed 13-Feb-13 19:59:12

Shagmund - arf!

frustratedworkingmum Wed 13-Feb-13 19:59:40

The first time i heard this song was when my DD1 took me to the cinema to watch it for a mothers day treat - it was a "singalong" version to, i couldn't sing for sobbing blush In fact im getting choked up just thinking about it. My DD1 is 22 and well and truly flown the nest sad, i miss her terribly but am so proud she is out there making a life for herself - then i look at DD2 who is now a bit abba fan (shes only 7) and I have to leave the room when that part of the film comes on, it kills me

Abitwobblynow Wed 13-Feb-13 20:01:04

Baking, don't set me off now. That was so moving. What a triumph of the human spirit, when you don't do what was done to you (wipes)

DomesticCEO Wed 13-Feb-13 20:05:43

littlejo, so sorry for your loss sad.

A friend's son has just left home for uni and it's really brought it home to me how precious the time is with them - and mine are only 4 & 3 blush.

Bakingnovice Wed 13-Feb-13 20:06:36

Abit - thank you! Having my kids has also mended my relationship with my own mother. I have forgiven her and tried to understand how difficult her own life was. I love my mum and know that she feels really lonely without us all around her. The kids have mended us and allowed us to heal ourselves. My mum is a wonderful gran now.

frustratedworkingmum Wed 13-Feb-13 20:07:31

Elephants! love your post grin Its funny, i often wonder about MY mum, i wonder if she feels like that - i bet she does - it makes me want to go and give her a hug. She's great, does loads for us still - shes 76 and starting to get "old" over the past six months - oh fuck, thats it, im sniffing and my DP is making a hmm face

LikeATeenager Wed 13-Feb-13 20:08:23

I can't listen to it. I'm 26 and was at the theatre with load of customers. I had totally forgotten about this song and literally burst into tears in the middle of the theatre when it came on. My mum had died 3 months before. They were all looking at me with a panic stricken expression! Not good!!

Morebiscuitsplease Wed 13-Feb-13 20:14:06

Oh thank goodness I am not alone makes me weep. Heard in in the radio whilst driving once and arrived with black mascara eyes. Just really it's a nerve.

Bakingnovice Wed 13-Feb-13 20:15:01

Likea - big hugs to you too.

Bakingnovice Wed 13-Feb-13 20:17:51

Yes it does hit a nerve. There's something about it which just strikes to the core of my heart. I think part of it for me is that through a difficult childhood my sisters brought me up and are still my support network and I feel a bit sad my dd doesn't have a sister. And I don't have another little un after dd. wish I'd had more but can't face the physical side of it all.

QuickLookBusy Wed 13-Feb-13 20:27:55

Lots of tears and laughter in this thread.

I first heard this song watching Mama Mia at the theatre, I was sat between my 2dds and I just couldn't stop myself crying. Both of them looked at me like thishmm but DH understood. He was crying too!

Now it pops into my head with each milestone. The last one being when we left dd at uni for the first time. She wanted to wave us off, so stood there on the pavement whist we drove off. "Slipping through my fingers" was all I could think off. I cried all the way home sad

Happymum22 Wed 13-Feb-13 20:31:09

I made the mistake of putting my ipod on shuffle in the car home after dropping my baby 18 year old DD2 off at uni a year and a half ago, my older DD1 had just moved into her first flat and DS gone back to med school after summer. Younger DD3 home but had just that week brought her first boyfriend home (--he lasted two weeks but never mind!--)

This song came on and I was crying so hard I had to pull over. It seemed like no time since my children were toddlers and kids and I was suddenly feeling very alone and responsiblity free.

Then DD2 phoned that eve asking me to send her all sorts she had forgotten and for comfort as she felt homesick, DD1 popped home for the weekend because she was buried under with work and wanted home comforts and me to give her some tlc while she ploughed through the paperwork for her new job. DS was shortly on the phone to ask how to make cheese sauce for his lasagne. And I soon felt wanted and needed again!!

That song gets me every time though.

nowwearefour Wed 13-Feb-13 20:36:45

Jeremy Vine played the original the radio recently and as it closed he said 'wiping away some tears are you?' Or something to indicate that everyone with a daughter ( and prob lots with a son too!) is set off by the words in the song! I loved the original even more than the version from the film

DomesticCEO Wed 13-Feb-13 20:39:20

Yes, heard that nowwearefour smile.

No daughters but still makes me cry - same sentiment with our boys smile.

Jossysgiants Wed 13-Feb-13 20:44:07

It is a beautiful, perfect, melancholy song. You are absolutely not being unreasonable.

frustratedworkingmum Wed 13-Feb-13 20:44:23

Its funny though, i have two girls and as i say, one has flown the nest and i do miss her, but I have done my bit, i brought her up to be who she is today, i wasn't the best mum but i am so proud of my dd, she is funny and sassy and isn't afraid to stand up for herself. So whilst she has "slipped through my fingers" it is the way it is meant to be so im not sad im a fucking liar smile

BsshBossh Thu 14-Feb-13 00:07:05

YANBU. I cried during the movie and I cry hearing the song now and I do think about DD growing up and away from me. Yeah yeah pull yourself together Bssh.... and I keep it to myself, but... Again, YANBU.

BsshBossh Thu 14-Feb-13 00:21:52

littlejo so sorry, how utterly awful sad.

My 4.5 yo recently began telling me how when she gets married she won't ever want to live with her DH because she only wants to live at home with mummy and daddy. She also says that the three of us will grow old (to 120 years apparently!) together. I get quite wistful because I know from my own experience exactly how different her thoughts will be when she hits her teens.

My mother always tells me how I've never stopped being her little girl. Now I'm a mother I totally get her.

chipmonkey Thu 14-Feb-13 01:03:08

Littlejo <<<HUGS>>> I lost my only daughter as well and I can't listen to that song anymore. Or a lot of other songs.

littlejo67 Thu 14-Feb-13 01:20:27

Chip << hugs >> straight back. I am the same - music can be just too emotive , the lyrics can suddenly hit you when your not prepared.

Katienana Thu 14-Feb-13 07:41:16

Done beautiful posts on this thread, my heart goes out to those of you grieving for your children. Feel so blessed to be cuddling my 4 month old ds. His life is already going so fast, I remember crying in the, hospital on the second night he was born because I realised one day he would grow up and leave me, and would never again need me so much as he did then.

ledkr Thu 14-Feb-13 08:03:06

chip I always think of your Dd when I'm struggling with patience with mine. So sad for you and jo I simply don't have any words.

Bakingnovice Thu 14-Feb-13 09:17:34

Chip so sorry for your loss. Sending you hugs. Lots of them.

saycheeeeeese Thu 14-Feb-13 09:26:27

YABU because the original Abba version is a million times better, written by Bjorn for his daughter Linda and sung by her mother Agnetha, absolutely beautiful!!!

saycheeeeeese Thu 14-Feb-13 09:32:01
janji Thu 14-Feb-13 09:54:30

Are there any 'son' songs that make you snivel?!

BsshBossh Thu 14-Feb-13 09:59:36

Oh chip big (((hugs))) to you too. Loss like that puts everything in perspective when we're feeling frustrated with our DC.

DomesticCEO Thu 14-Feb-13 10:06:22

Janji, I have two little boys so I can think you can guess which one gets me . . .

But tbh I don't really notice the 'gender' of songs - slipping through my fingers is just as poignant for mums of boys IMO, but then I'm v sentimental about things. I also love the bare naked ladies song about his newborn boy.

DomesticCEO Thu 14-Feb-13 10:09:04

When you Dream by Barenaked Ladies

ElephantsAndMiasmas Thu 14-Feb-13 11:28:46

I love that song too, DomesticCEO. Also Beautiful Boy by John Lennon, especially this bit:

"Out on the ocean sailing away
I can hardly wait
To see you come of age
But I guess we'll both just have to be patient
'Cause it's a long way to go
A hard row to hoe
Yes it's a long way to go
But in the meantime

Before you cross the street
Take my hand
Life is what happens to you
While you're busy making other plans"

Knowing that he never did get to see his boy grow up sad

DomesticCEO Thu 14-Feb-13 13:58:07


DomesticCEO Thu 14-Feb-13 13:59:47
thegreylady Thu 14-Feb-13 14:12:26

Please can someone post a youtube link for me as I keep getting 'sorry this video is unavailable' when I try.

DomesticCEO Thu 14-Feb-13 14:13:44
weegiemum Thu 14-Feb-13 14:18:16

I listen to this track and I well up every time.

But when my dd1 was born just over 13 years ago my dear Gran (who isn't with us any more) gave me some fantastic advice:

"hold them too tight and they'll slip from your hands like a bar of soap. Hold them lightly and they'll always be yours".

She was right. Doesn't stop me crying though. My first baby is a teenager with a phone and a Facebook account and hair straighteners! How did that happen?

DomesticCEO Thu 14-Feb-13 14:19:29

That is good advice weegiemum smile.

My eldest only started school this year but I still find it odd that there's a whole part of his life now that I'm not privy to blush.

thegreylady Thu 14-Feb-13 14:24:44

Thank you Domestic-that worked :
My dd is 38 now but she will always be 'my funny little girl' in a secret place in my heart.Once they are born you never lose them-no matter what-as the book says-'love like starlight never dies'.You have experienced that amazing surge of unconditional love which changes you forever. I cannot understand the pain of losing a child-it is my worst nightmare sad
I watch my dd now with her own two 'funny little boys' and see the cycle repeating.I do regret the times I was impatient,distracted or cross.The times I maybe wasn't 'there' when I should have been.Dh died when dd was 11 and the years from 9 to 12 must have been so hard for her.

DomesticCEO Thu 14-Feb-13 14:40:45

I'm sorry for your loss thegreylady - I too cannot understand the pain of losing a child, only the pain of thinking I was never going to have them for many years.

My boys are my world but I think we wouldn't be human if they didn't drive us to distraction from time to time. How lovely that you are now a grandmother and able to enjoy it all again smile.

chipmonkey Thu 14-Feb-13 16:58:35

janji Two little boys! Do you have to ask?

Abitwobblynow Fri 15-Feb-13 05:58:39

I do regret the times I was impatient,distracted or cross.The times I maybe wasn't 'there' when I should have been.
- the regrets of a good mother.

Remember that being perfect is not the goal. We have to be 'good enough' so that children hit the pain of imperfection (our impatience etc) - but with someone who loves them consistently, so that they can learn they do survive and it is not the end of the world (Winnicot)

So sorry for your loss Greylady.

betterwhenthesunshines Fri 15-Feb-13 09:40:17

I'm streaming with tears just reading this. I'd never heard the song until the film but it's quite extraordinary. Recently it was on the radio at breakfast time and the children were both looking at me confused as I was blubbing into the toast.

I think it's because it feels about regrets, it's amazing watch your children grow and be part of their lives, but we all have parts we wish we could rewind and live through again. Either because they were wonderful, maybe we didn't appreciate them at the time. I'd give anything to go back and have to do a snuggly nightfeed again. Or because we know WE could have done better - and then it's a bit of a reminder to ourselves.

BsshBossh Fri 15-Feb-13 19:41:14

Abitwobblynow wise words indeed. I really need to hear that so thank you. Which Winnicot book is that?

Floggingmolly Fri 15-Feb-13 19:43:05

This keeps getting pushed to the top of threads I'm on, and setting me off again...

determinedma Fri 15-Feb-13 19:51:46

Oh for heavens sake,either you are all hopelessly clingy or I am missing the maternal gene ( which is entirely possible). Dd1 is au pairing in Spain and I only see her every few months, and dd2 announced last night she has "found a family" and will be off to Italy to au pair and " probably come back in autumn". So what? I am happy they are confident individuals who can do their own thing and no, I don't pine for them when they are away. They are adults. They come back from time to time and I regain my life a little when they are away.

coldcupoftea Fri 15-Feb-13 20:00:52

To all you fellow emotional mums of daughters I give you Daughter by Loudon Wainwright

It's the song played at the end of Knocked Up, and it makes me weep buckets just thinking about it!

SilverMoo Fri 15-Feb-13 20:33:55

Argh! Just watched it on youtube and am now sobbing sad blush

Cuddlyrunner Fri 15-Feb-13 20:35:23

I haven't got a daughter, I WANT ONE!

sugarplumpfairy Fri 15-Feb-13 20:37:15

I remember drinking gin and tonic, torturing myself by playing this the night before my youngest DD started school in sept. I was wailing to DP ''That's it, and now i'm baron cos i've had a hysterectomy, they'll grow up and shove us in a home, what if I haven't done enough glueing and sticking? blah blah........'' DP just humoured me and escorted me to bed grin
It always makes me VERY emotional, gin or not!

SilverMoo Fri 15-Feb-13 20:37:21

I heard it the first time when I watched Mama Mia, I was properly sobbing, I haven't watched it since due to that reaction, glad I'm not the only one!

Snowkey Fri 15-Feb-13 20:40:25

Always feel emotional listening to this song too - often need to give dd a bit cuddle.

missymayhemsmum Fri 15-Feb-13 20:42:18

Oh me too! Tucked up on sofa watching it with DD aged 21 sharing a bottle of wine I was in floods! So many things we didn't do because I was busy making the everyday stuff work, and then you turn round and the years have gone and she doesn't need you anymore. It's a great song.
(Didn't stop me being delighted when DD found her direction and moved out again though. Two women in one kitchen-nuff said)

Oh crickey I thought it was just me! I used to listen to this song when I was little, and back then it was just a song. Now I have 2 dds and the words only hit me when I watched MM at the cinema. Blubbing my eyes out. Gets me every time now.

chickydoo Fri 15-Feb-13 21:40:24

My DD is 17, not long until she goes, it's going to break my heart

Mamma Mia on ITV2 now <gets tissues ready>

trikken Sat 16-Feb-13 20:25:32

watching it here too.

ihateconflict Sat 16-Feb-13 20:44:32

this song is on tv now, and it takes me back to when my daughter left for uni 4 years ago, during the weeks leading to her departure, the pain in my chest was actually physical, once we had actually dropped her off, i was absolutely fine fine, it was the lead up time that was the woerst. This song, and white winter hymnal by fleet foxes, both take me back to sept 2009 in an instant, i love both songs!!

Hassled Sat 16-Feb-13 20:48:16

I saw that bloody film (Mamma Mia) with DD the night before she left for University. That song came on - we were both awash with tears and snot - full on hysterical, wracking sobs. God knows what the people around us thought. Only the cocktails later restored any sort of normality.

OverAndAbove Sat 16-Feb-13 20:52:09

It's just been on, right now. Floods of tears; from me and the baby-father-of-the-girl. It is a very good song!

Juniper21 Sat 16-Feb-13 21:17:40

The writer of Mamma Mia put the song in the musical/movie as it reflected her feelings for her own daughter.

saycheeeeeese Sat 16-Feb-13 21:23:58

I think Linda Ulvaeus must have a hard time hearing it knowing its about her!

My mum used to sing it to me when I was a child in the 80s, she cries when she hears it now!

JumpHerWho Sat 16-Feb-13 21:32:26

So glad I'm not alone in finding this song utterly gorgeously sad!

Off to listen to Beautiful Boy and When You Dream, I have a toddling (sob) baby boy.

izzysmydog Sat 16-Feb-13 21:37:41

My wonderful daughter just turned 16!! I can't believe it's gone so fast. We both give hugs when that song comes on. She thinks she's fat ( she's not!) and she has had a bad time with acne and she doesn't understand how much I love her... And I split up with her dad when she was 5 and her stepfather is good but not demonstrative at all! Sometimes I think I really fucked up but then that song will come on and she knows I love her so much and I didn't do so bad after all xx

maddening Sat 16-Feb-13 23:06:25

And all of us are daughters - beth orton's time will pass is another tear jerker

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now