To think you don't let your toddler play with noisy electic games on a packed train?

(291 Posts)
Hammy02 Mon 11-Feb-13 13:14:59

Or any train for that matter. I was on jam packed train at the weekend (no spare seats, aisle full of people standing up) and one woman was sat with her small child playing with a toy that said 'triangle', 'square' etc when the kid pressed each shape. I was a couple of seats in front & could hear it! AIBU to think this was utterly selfish of the mum? Other people were giving her the evils but she seemed oblivious.

ChessieFL Mon 11-Feb-13 13:15:43

Surely better than a bored screaming child though?

5madthings Mon 11-Feb-13 13:15:56

I try to keep mine quiet but a toy is better than a screaming child. Was it a quiet carriage?

BertieBotts Mon 11-Feb-13 13:16:20

She was probably so stressed that she didn't care.

AnyaKnowIt Mon 11-Feb-13 13:17:44

A jam packed train and you're moaning about a childs toy?

BlueberryHill Mon 11-Feb-13 13:18:07

Depends for how long, how loud, if its for a short time to keep a child occupied then I agree with Chessie, better that than a shouting child that you are trying to restrain on a packed train. If it goes on a long time though, it is unfair and you should have brought some crayons, books etc as well.

By the way, anyone playing music too loud so that you can hear the bass or a tinny sound, anyone talking loudly on a mobile phone, all sorts of people can be annoying on a train.

Dancergirl Mon 11-Feb-13 13:18:09

How is that worse than annoying conversation?

FarBetterNow Mon 11-Feb-13 13:19:23

How long was the journey?
I would have thought it amusing.
Everyone I see on trains seems to be in their own little electronic world of iphone etc.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 13:19:27

Oh FGS.

Yes, YABU.

I've been in the position of having to choose between a tantruming child or letting her have a noisy(ish) toy on a packed train before. Which would you have preferred?

I have to do this frequently with my phone. Believemea child screaming is far far worse!!! It's no more annoying than people talking on their phones or loud head phones.

As adults we can suck it up , toddlers bet bored and frustrated and upset!!! They r too young to stay quiet or understand y they r still stuck in a train.

SamSmalaidh Mon 11-Feb-13 13:22:53

I'm sure it was irritating, but no more irritating then loud conservations of music playing out loud, and definitely better than a screaming toddler.

StuntGirl Mon 11-Feb-13 13:23:36

Yes but those electronic worlds are usually confined to headphones.

Drives me mental too OP. Same as when adult passengers are annoyingly noisy too, I don't restrict my ire to children. I either bury myself in headphones or if possible move carriage.

Or the best solution for me is if I can drive in the first place grin

Maaaan, take a chill pill. It was one train journey.

DesperatelySeekingSedatives Mon 11-Feb-13 13:24:13

I'd much rather listen to a child play nicely with a toy than hear them cry, moan and scream the place down through sheer boredom!

There seems to be no pleasing some people hmm

DancesWithBabies Mon 11-Feb-13 13:24:13

Better than a screaming child - for the poor mum and for the rest of the passengers. Are you expecting a "peaceful" journey on a "packed train"???? Or is it just that you are willing to excuse "adult" noise (all the pings and beeps made by using smartphones, playing games on said phones etc etc) and not child noise?

YABU.

PhilMcAverty Mon 11-Feb-13 13:24:35

If it was a packed train, its unlikely to have been quiet. Fair do if she was sat in a quiet carriage on a unpacked train, but it soundsl like she was doing a good job at entertaining her child. A gripey toddler would have been much, much worse.

chrome100 Mon 11-Feb-13 13:25:00

YANBU. Very selfish and annoying to the other passangers.

Flobbadobs Mon 11-Feb-13 13:25:46

No she wouldn't have been oblivious, she would probably have been well aware of the judgemental attitude of some people on the train who have obviously never had to try and keep a potentially very noisy/irate toddler quiet for the duration of the journey.
Would you have preferred a screaming baby?
YABU. And so were the people giving her 'evils'

Fakebook Mon 11-Feb-13 13:25:54

If it was during the evening or night, I'd agree, but it's day time in a jam packed train. Yabvu.

tinygreendragon Mon 11-Feb-13 13:27:50

To be honest, this annoys me also. But I would move to the quiet carriage or find somewhere to stand elsewhere.

BreconBeBuggered Mon 11-Feb-13 13:27:54

We don't have any toys like that but on a long coach journey I know DS2 was annoying the passenger behind us with his incessant chatter about the book I'd given him to read. But then he in turn was irritating me with his protracted whiney phone calls and the crap choice of music on his ipod. Most other passengers on a packed train are annoying.

coraltoes Mon 11-Feb-13 13:30:43

Doesn't bother me, kids are kids. What makes me shabby is teenagers / adults listening to music through their phones without earphones!! Makes me want to smash their phones up!

Lifeisontheup Mon 11-Feb-13 13:31:13

It could have been worse, she could have given it a recorder.smile

I travelled by train a lot when mine were toddlers, I never put noisy toys in my bag so I could avoid the inevitable tantrum when they weren't allowed to play with it.

For the same reason my mobile phone is always on silent on trains and I never answer it.

On a train, my solution would have been to read DS a story, but is regaling the carraige with the adventures of Topsy and Tim any better than "Traingle"? It has a bit more variety but would still be annoying if you were hoping for quiet.

I know years ago I went on a train to a job interview, and sat near a woman with a toddler who had brought his toy car. As he drove it across the table, it went pop, pop, pop and the little plastic balls in the back bounced around. The mother instantly realised that it wasn't a good toy to have brought and tried to get the child involved in colouring.

YABU to moan about the child being entertained in this way on the train, YANBU to wonder why the parent thought this toy was a good idea for a train journey. i know it has few pieces to chuck under seat or lose, but anything with an electronic voice is bad news when you're stuck near it.

TheOneAndOnlyAlpha Mon 11-Feb-13 13:33:05

It might be annoying but it's far less annoying than a screaming child. So YABU. I find music through headphones more irratating. So I move. Easy.

Hammy02 Mon 11-Feb-13 13:33:26

It was 6pm. Not sure whether that makes any difference. I think it was just that it was uncomfortable enough as it was without additional unnecessary noise. It was mostly commuters on the train so not much talking. Luckily I don't have to travel on a train very often. I feel for those that do.

FeckOffCup Mon 11-Feb-13 13:34:30

YABU it was possibly a last resort to entertain a bored child who would otherwise be whinging or crying which is a lot worse than game noise. On a train is acceptable, but I was at a wedding a while ago where a couple with a toddler let him play a peppa pig game with the volume on low through the ceremony, now that is inappropriate.

Was no-one on their phone? Or talking? Or eating loudly?

Flobbadobs Mon 11-Feb-13 13:35:40

I find stupid ringtones more annoying on trains...
[grumpy pmt emoticon]

Viviennemary Mon 11-Feb-13 13:36:27

I get really stressed out on trains with noise. But I'd rather have this than other noise I have been subjected to. Better that than a screaming child.

WandaDoff Mon 11-Feb-13 13:36:54

I'd rather listen to that than a bored screaming toddler.

tomverlaine Mon 11-Feb-13 13:36:54

YANBU- Its not a choice between a noisy toy or crying children- there are quiet toys. i commute with DS who's now 3 - we either have books or ipad- the latter with no noise generally

EuroShagmore Mon 11-Feb-13 13:39:50

I'm surprised at the no. of people on here who think you were being unreasonable. Of course it's unreasonable to use a talking toy on a train. There are plenty of distractions that are quieter (e.g. looking through a book together with the parent talking softly) and much less annoying than and electronic toy.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 13:40:59

Here come the perfect mothers with their perfectly quiet children.

Tryharder Mon 11-Feb-13 13:41:55

You should have gone first class wink

Mytimewillcomebutwhen Mon 11-Feb-13 13:46:06

YABU. You have no idea how long they had been travelling. When DS and I are on an evening commuter train it's because our day started twelve hours before with an hour long car journey, a four hour ferry journey, then six hours on trains with associated changes and waits. If, on a busy train, I can still keep him quiet with any thing then I won't hesitate to use it. The quiet toys, magazines, books, colouring, small cars wtc have all been exhaustively used by the time we get to the final stretch...

If you don't know the circumstances, don't judge.

BlueberryHill Mon 11-Feb-13 13:49:49

We were in a cafe at lunchtime, reading a story to DS1, someone came over to ask us to be quiet. We were no louder than an ordinary conversation and we were gobsmacked.

Agree with Mytimewillcome, also if its 6pm the toddler may be about to enter prime meltdown time just because they are tired, in that case the noise will have been much less annoying than any talking toy.

fuzzysnout Mon 11-Feb-13 14:08:56

Er, no YANBU. Amazed at the number of people who think it's ok to disturb others. Having children doesn't give us the right to disreguard others. There are plenty of ways to entertain small children without talking toys. Sad to see how many people don't think of others at all.

But why should the toddler be disturbd by adults talking on phones? What is acceptable and what isn't.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 14:15:39

Yes lets all sit in complete silence when out in public so as not to disturb anyone.

TheOneAndOnlyAlpha Mon 11-Feb-13 14:19:05

Sometimes, shhh, don't tell anyone, I take a vtech noisy toy to the supermarket to keep DS entertained. And sometimes, just sometimes, I let him eat grapes before I've paid for them. Shhhh.

Fakebook Mon 11-Feb-13 14:19:46

My DS screams. They're shrill screams that deafen your ears. I'd rather listen to a vtech monkey singing about going to the park than listen to his screams in a packed train.

Fenton Mon 11-Feb-13 14:21:22

It's just a bit of noise - there are worse things to contend with on a crowded train, I would have thought.

And No, I wouldn't see it as the mother was being 'utterly selfish', - it's just a mum trying to provide her small child with a little distraction - crowded trains aren't much fun for children, you know.

YABU to think of her as utterly selfish.

BettyandDon Mon 11-Feb-13 14:22:07

Wouldn't even begin to bother me honestly. I like seeing children out and about <and learning their shapes....>

atthewelles Mon 11-Feb-13 14:22:27

Mother probably didn't have much choice. I would prefer to listen to a child's toy than to a bunch of teenagers on their way home from school shouting at the tops of their voices, showing off and thinking the whole carriage is interested in their inane conversation.

Would it have been ok if the mother had been saying "triangle"..."circle"? If so, I don't see the difference. If not, why not?

MrsDeVere Mon 11-Feb-13 14:26:22

How dare a child interrupt your journey.

I think you should have fetched a constable and had them removed forthwith.

That or organised a posse with your fellow passengers and flogged them both.

HTH

TheOneAndOnlyAlpha Mon 11-Feb-13 14:59:48

Haha mrsd grin

glossyflower Mon 11-Feb-13 15:20:08

I don't think YABU. What's wrong with children being supplied with crayons and paper in busy areas these days?
In fact when I was a small child I didn't take toys out with me.

I also can't stand it when parents let their small children run around screaming all the time, especially in shops and where I work in a hospital.
We had one kid about 4 rolling around on the floor making lots of noise whilst visiting her nan in hospital, when we asked the parents to take her away from the patient area as it was not appropriate in a ward full of people who have heart problems. Her mum said "oh you can't tell them off for wanting to play". No wanting to play is not a bad thing but children have to be taught there's a time and a place for it. And I certainly wouldn't want my child to roll around on a hospital floor!

glossyflower Mon 11-Feb-13 15:22:10

And why do you have to bribe your kids with noisy toys to keep them well behaved?

Trills Mon 11-Feb-13 15:25:20

Also: people who make their phones go "click click click" or "beep beep beep" when they type.

You can see the word appearing, you don't need the noise to know that you have touched the keyboard.

TheOneAndOnlyAlpha Mon 11-Feb-13 15:28:02

Oh glossy. I don't bribe my child. He likes it. And he's really well behaved.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 15:29:56

Because glossy ,some children get a bit restless on long journeys.

Fenton Mon 11-Feb-13 15:30:22

Oh I didn't think of crayons and paper on a crowded train with a toddler sat on my lap, - no can't see any draw back in that method of distraction AT ALL.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 15:31:00

Not yours though glossy, I expect your children are like little angels.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 15:31:50

I expect someone would give you evils if the paper flapped about though, Fenton.

Fenton Mon 11-Feb-13 15:32:50

At least my child would have duck tape strapped across his mouth, just in case.

Lottapianos Mon 11-Feb-13 15:33:06

'And why do you have to bribe your kids with noisy toys to keep them well behaved? '

Exactly glossyflower, exactly

It would have driven me up the wall as well OP. Some people don't seem to have any concept of being in public and having to share space with other people - as Lynne Truss describes it, 'my bubble my rules'. And that extends to their children. It's rude and inconsiderate and unnecessary.

KatieMiddleton Mon 11-Feb-13 15:35:07

6pm?! Heavens to Betsy no child should be out in public then, much less being kept entertained! How disgusting. You must write to your mp.

Or get over it and be grateful you don't have a toddler.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 15:35:45

My bubble my rules? jesus wept.

TheOneAndOnlyAlpha Mon 11-Feb-13 15:37:04

Chatting loudly on your phone when every other word is 'fucking' in front of children is inconsiderate, and is what happens everyday on the trains around my area. So I move. Keeping a child occupied with a toy, probably their favourite which they wouldn't leave the house without, is called parenting. It may not be the activity you would choose, such as pressing flowers, reciting poetry, learning Latin, but so be it.

Fenton Mon 11-Feb-13 15:38:38

It's hard to keep your bubble the way you want it on a crowded train.

sad
sad
sad

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 15:39:26

You mean you don't read Shakespeare to your child on the bus, TheOne?

Lottapianos Mon 11-Feb-13 15:40:01

And why do some people insist on seeing these situations in black and white? Why is it either a screaming child or the whole carriage being disturbed by the noise from their game? There are other options, like turning the sound off the game for example....

You've never heard that phrase before usualsuspect? Well you learn something new every day, I'm glad to be the one to bring you some new information today smile Look around you, I see it all the time - lots of people who have no consideration for others and expect everyone else to just lump it.

woozlebear Mon 11-Feb-13 15:40:15

YANBU. It's rude and inconsiderate. I'm sure there are quiet toys that would have kept the child occupied, or engaging it in quiet conversation. I don't see why some people have said YABU for expecting peace and quiet on a packed train - the more crowded the place, surely the more reason for people to be considerate to each other? And actually many packed trains can be very peaceful - on commuter trains most people just put their heads in their book/paper and stay silent. Weekend trains on the otherhand tend to be awful mayhem. Ditto the argument that YABU for having a problem with this when adults make noise with phones / headphones etc - yes, they do, and they're being inconsiderate too, they're just not the topic of your post.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 15:41:52

I never want to hear that ridiculous phrase again TBH.

BarredfromhavingStella Mon 11-Feb-13 15:42:23

Yabu, it was a child being entertained with a toy-I fail to see the problem tbh.

As for the 'my bubble, my rules' hmm

TheOneAndOnlyAlpha Mon 11-Feb-13 15:42:36

Well, he's only little so we're starting with Austen, usual. We hope to move on to Shakespeare after Easter. But only off-peak in an empty carriage, naturally. grin

Lottapianos Mon 11-Feb-13 15:44:39

Why do you think it's ridiculous usualsuspect? Genuinely interested, not snarking.

choceyes Mon 11-Feb-13 15:44:40

I have a 4yr old and a 2yr old and I travel to London from Manchester regularly. Noisy toys/games on phones are an absolute last resort for me. I hate electronic noise on the train (I get travel sick easily and this makes it much much worse for me and gives me a splitting headache). My DCs are not quiet angels by any description, they are rather unruly and feral and even I manage to get them to play with something quiet. Reading books, sticker books, drawing, snacks etc etc will usually last them the 2hr journey. If all else fails I let them play a game on my phone with the minimum of noise, so quietly that I can barely hear it when I'm sat next to them.

I do this mainly for self preservation and to avoid me getting a migrane, but also as a consideration for other passengers.

Can't do more than a 2hr journey though, so OP, You don't how long this mother have had to travel with the toddler, she might have exhausted all resources. It's not our place to judge IMO. But yes it is irritating when people, not just toddlers , use electronic stuff on trains and other enclosed spaces.

woozlebear Mon 11-Feb-13 15:46:24

Why all the shock and hmm about 'my bubble, my rules'? What am I missing? It does seem an accurate description of the mindset of some inconsiderate people.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 15:50:09

We would like to live in a bubble, but we don't.

We have to give and take. A child being entertained by a noisy toy on a train wouldn't bother me because it's keeping the mother and child happy.

It's not all about me.

MrsDeVere Mon 11-Feb-13 15:51:59

'My bubble my rules' must surely be the epitome of selfishness.

You cannot have a 'bubble' in public. You have a certain amount of personal space and if you are lucky you get to maintain that but nothing else.

My 'bubble rules' would mean that everyone would be required to dress in vintage dress and carry flowers and kelly handbags everywhere. No one would be permitted to use a mobile phone but roberts radios tuned to some light jazz would be allowed.
Dogs would be obligatory and the only pastime allowed on the underground would be obscene cross stitch, knitting and crochet.

Conversation would be mandatory and the only food would be sherbet coloured icecreams.

No more unreasonable than expecting small children to be quite at all times and no one to smell or carry a rucksack I think....

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 15:52:11

My bubble my rules is nearly as bad as my house my rules.

Stupid meaningless phrases.

Fenton Mon 11-Feb-13 15:52:44

'my bubble, my rules' i.e. I expect people to behave the way I want them to in my space, - fair enough it would seem, but a bit far-fetched to expect to maintain said bubble on a crowded train with not necessarily like-minded people.

MrsDeVere Mon 11-Feb-13 15:52:57

woozle I don't think the shock is all about the phrase. It is more to do with people thinking it is a reasonable outlook on life.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 15:54:28

It is partly about the phrase grin

woozlebear Mon 11-Feb-13 15:54:44

Errrrrrrm - wasn't lotta pointing out the wrongness of 'my bubble, my rules' as a mindset NOT advocating it??

Which would mean you actually all agree with her...

Fenton Mon 11-Feb-13 15:55:30

Yes I should add that I think 'my bubbles, my rule' is a pile of cack as it happens, people should consider others feelings, of course but this is restricted to what each individual considers to be their rules therefore impossible for everyone/anyone to get it right for anyone else.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 15:55:50

Well she must want her own bubble, no?

Lottapianos Mon 11-Feb-13 15:56:07

Ok, I guess I wasn't clear enough, with the 'my bubble my rules'. It means the opposite to what you think it does.

Example - when I'm out in public, I try to allow other people to get past, I don't play music out loud, I don't sniff constantly, I don't eat stinky food on buses, I don't smoke near people if at all possible. That's because I'm aware that I'm in a shared space and don't want to inflict my bad habits/noise on others. People who think 'my bubble my rules' do the opposite - they treat everywhere like their own front room and expect people to accommodate their behaviour. I'm thinking of people who eat hot food on buses, blow smoke all over others, barge past people without saying excuse me, swear loudly, spit at other people's feet, play music out loud etc etc.

Make more sense?

Lottapianos Mon 11-Feb-13 15:56:50

'Errrrrrrm - wasn't lotta pointing out the wrongness of 'my bubble, my rules' as a mindset NOT advocating it??'

Thanks woozlebear, glad it's not just me grin

woozlebear Mon 11-Feb-13 15:57:53

It made sense before lotta, but it definitely should now!

CremeEggThief Mon 11-Feb-13 15:59:04

YABVU.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 15:59:04

I wouldn't put a mother keeping her child entertained on a train into the same category as anything else you mentioned.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 15:59:53

Some people just moan for the sake of it.

Miserable sods.

Fenton Mon 11-Feb-13 16:00:19

That might have been what Lotta intended, reading back, but by suggesting that the child should be kept quiet with something quiet, then actually she is advocating the bubble rule.

I still think it's a crock of shit.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 16:01:58

Exactly, her bubble is more important than someone elses bubble, obviously.

FreckledLeopard Mon 11-Feb-13 16:05:12

I would glare at someone with noisy electronic toys OR noisy electronic mobile phones. Regardless of age. I dislike other passengers equally when they make unnecessary noise wink

Lottapianos Mon 11-Feb-13 16:05:43

'I wouldn't put a mother keeping her child entertained on a train into the same category as anything else you mentioned. '

It's not the 'entertaining', it's the noise factor.

'Some people just moan for the sake of it.

Miserable sods.'

Moaning is my number one hobby usualsuspect, how did you guess? You on the other hand sound like a little ray of sunshine, I bet you're super accommodating of everyone you come into. Well maybe apart from me wink

You still don't seem to understand it Fenton - that's a shame. I recommend reading 'Talk to the Hand' - it's a great book and I'm sure Lynne Truss explains it better than I can.

woozlebear Mon 11-Feb-13 16:05:59

But isn't the mother's behaviour, by choosing a noisy toy rather than a quiet one, saying that her bubble is more important then anyone else, to use your expression, usual. Although I think the very idea of lots of competing bubbles is innately a misunderstanding of the point - the point is that we DON'T exist in bubbles, everything we do in public impinges on other people, and to act as if you DO exist in a bubble is inconsiderate.

glossyflower Mon 11-Feb-13 16:06:29

Hmm my intention was not to start WWIII by airing my opinions on this topic.

The way I see it is, sometimes children need to learn there is a time and place for certain things. Just the same as unruly teenagers shouting obscenities at each other (no, I don't mean on this thread I mean on trains lol), or grown up talking loudly about their sex lives on their phones in public.
I fully understand that if it has been a long journey for the child and they get restless and tired, so is a noisy toy going to soothe them?
theoneandonlyalpha that's lovely that your ds likes noisy toys and is well behaved, it really is. If he's so well behaved am I right in thinking there is no need to take noisy toys out with you on public transport?
Just because someone likes something it doesn't mean to say it is appropriate to time and place. Just like the little girl I describe in previous post who was allowed to roll around on the floor of a hospital ward. Would you allow that just because they like it I wonder?

But that's just me. We are all different. If we were the same things would be boring wouldn't they? Regardless we are entitled to air our opinions and on this subject I agree with OP.

MechanicalTheatre Mon 11-Feb-13 16:11:31

I am surprised how many people think YABU.

The mother could have taken a quieter toy for the child to play with. Yes, I understand how hard it is to keep a child quiet.

I really hate how noisy the world is becoming. It's totally socially acceptable to play music so loud through your earphones that everyone can hear. Or have a half hour phone conversation.

The worst thing is that on quiet carriages there is still always one knobhead being loud and I'm always the one that has to tell them to STFU.

Fenton Mon 11-Feb-13 16:11:40

meh

ouryve Mon 11-Feb-13 16:13:24

It's better than having a bored, squirmy or even screaming child. I et more annoyed with parents who do nothing to ensure that kids are entertained on long journeys.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 16:15:08

I am accommodating where small children are concerned ,yes.

A bit of understanding and not so much tutting and cats bum faces goes a long way I find.

ChuffMuffin Mon 11-Feb-13 16:15:14

Better than the kid on my train last night who'd been given a can of silly string shock. It was all up the aisle!

MechanicalTheatre Mon 11-Feb-13 16:15:41

Yes, woozlebear that's how I see it. It's just a basic lack of consideration for other people. I really try to not get in people's way, not make too much noise, generally be polite and it annoys me when others don't do the same.

It's quite tricky to balance this idea of people being allowed to act how they like with the idea that others shouldn't be impinged upon.

whois Mon 11-Feb-13 16:18:41

I've been in the position of having to choose between a tantruming child or letting her have a noisy(ish) toy on a packed train before. Which would you have preferred?

Or, you could pack QUIET toys / things with headphones. You don't have to pack anything noisy.

ouryve Mon 11-Feb-13 16:18:49

And yes, I own my YABU. I'm mother to 2 of the 1 in 100 kids who are not neurotypical. You can't tell they're not neurotypical at first glance. If we had to take DS2 on a train, once the novelty of it's train-ness wore off, it owuld probably take a noisy toy, like his leapster, to dissuade him from running up and down the carriage and shrieking.

Fenton Mon 11-Feb-13 16:19:45

If I remember, though, Lynne Truss is all about how one must accept the world around us, yes?

But the missing 'bit' here (pardon me, I am not outstandingly good with words) is that while she one is preaching about how much more understanding one must be about the people around us, she is actually doing the opposite isn't she - 'oh it's a shame for these people that they don't think/act like me'

she constantly contradicts the point she tries to make.

still meh

woozlebear Mon 11-Feb-13 16:20:53

Ditto, mechanical, although I've come to realise that (over minor social irritants at any rate, like loud music, feet on seats etc) people who do these things genuinely don't mind being on the receiving end themselves and so it simply doesn't occur to them that anyone else might. And they think that if you do you're a total loon who should be ignored. I used to assume that it was pure selfishness, whereas a lot of the time it's entirely different standards. Even more tricky to balance.

tryhardrep Mon 11-Feb-13 16:22:13

crikey - had no idea how strongly people felt about this. Was letting my 2 DC watch peppa pig on an ipad yesterday, kept the volume down quite low admittedly, but they were tired/bored etc and I thought the alternative was worse.

As for the OP, if the kid had been running up and down the aisles screaming, or lying across two seats I'd understand but under the circumstances, a noisy toy sounds like pretty small fry

tryhardrep Mon 11-Feb-13 16:22:47

watching peppa pig on the train I should have said...

doublechocchip Mon 11-Feb-13 16:23:31

Yanbu op would have annoyed me too.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 16:23:39

Only people with standards care, the rest of us plebs just get on with life.

Panzee Mon 11-Feb-13 16:24:19

Hooray! More ettiquete squabbles. Mumsnet is more and more like Curb Your Enthusiasm every day. smile

MrsDeVere Mon 11-Feb-13 16:25:20

I was stuck on a train with my DCs who were playing with their toys. A family was behind us being wholesome. They were singing some fecking folk song, a bit like 'One man went to mow' but even more annoying as they were using olde English. It went on and on and on and on.

Give me a vetch light up, whizz and go, spin and shine battery operated bit of plastic tat anytime over that.

MechanicalTheatre Mon 11-Feb-13 16:25:36

usual we're all just trying to get on with life though, aren't we? Different things annoy different people, got nothing to do with being a pleb or anything else.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 16:26:39

Err, woozlebear seems to think so.

woozlebear Mon 11-Feb-13 16:29:16

while she one is preaching about how much more understanding one must be about the people around us, she is actually doing the opposite isn't she - 'oh it's a shame for these people that they don't think/act like me'

Fenton - I think I see your point about this apparent contradiction, but actually doesn't it illustrate the very value of the 'considerate' behaviour that she advocates. Yes, we all have different standards about acceptable behaviour and what one person minds another person doesn't, BUT some behaviours are an excellet compromise. So being quiet upsets no one, whereas noise really upsets some people. Putting your feet on the floor -to use a random example - upsets no one, whereas dirty seats from people's shoes are horrible to many others. I don't think Lynne Truss advocates everyone doing what she wants. I think she's advocating everyone behaving in a way which causes the least deprivation to them and the most benefit to everyone else.

5madthings Mon 11-Feb-13 16:30:17

God just how noisy do people think a talking toy is?!! They can be irritating but they are just normal voice level.

We don't really have electrinicy toddler toys ie vtech stuff as I front much like them but they aren't that noisy. adults on the phoneir being loud and swearing are far worse. At least the toy serves a purpose. If you were in the quiet carriage you might have a point. But a packed train isdnt going to be quiet anyway. If you want quiet pre-book a seat in a quiet carriage.

woozlebear Mon 11-Feb-13 16:30:18

I seem to think what, usual? (Genuinely not sure what you're saying...)

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 16:31:06

That it's all about standards. It's not.

KatieMiddleton Mon 11-Feb-13 16:31:42

Lol at wholesome family.

There are so many things that are annoying about commuting that focusing on one child and one rather irritating noise just seems so futile.

ouryve Mon 11-Feb-13 16:33:21

I think I might have sat near that family before, MrsDeVere All very loudly making up a nice, wholesome little story while the 2 year old threw pencils on the floor grin

Nervousfirsttimer Mon 11-Feb-13 16:33:50

I can beat this... Man watching 24 days later or whatever it's called, screamy zombie film on a train with no headphones and made no attempt to keep volume down!

KatieMiddleton Mon 11-Feb-13 16:36:05

Apparently some poor buggers had to sit near George Osborne on a train once. I honestly don't know they tolerated him.

MechanicalTheatre Mon 11-Feb-13 16:36:12

Having DIFFERENT standards though usual . Not saying one is better than the other.

I personally wish I was more tolerant of noise, but it goes right through me and stresses me out. It's not something I can help.

Normally I carry earplugs and stick them in if I'm on public transport, but that's a bit annoying in itself because it makes you feel cut off from the world.

woozlebear Mon 11-Feb-13 16:39:02

I said that I think that this sort of situation often stems from different people having fundamentally different ideas about what is annoying and what's not rather than people thinking 'yes, I know this is annoying behaviour, I wouldn't like being on the receiving end of it, but I'll do it anyway'. I didn't say anything about it being 'all about standards', or some people having standards and some people not or anything like that. I was saying it's a matter of different standards rather than selfishness.

And I certainly don't know where you got the 'plebs' bit!

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 16:46:13

Meh, it's got nothing to do with standards and everything to do with having a bit of understanding towards a child.

Which seems sadly lacking by some on this thread.

MechanicalTheatre Mon 11-Feb-13 16:52:51

usual I DO understand and I would never say anything.

However, it still annoys me. And I personally would never bring anything noisy onto a train, because I know it would annoy other people.

We could equally say that you should have more understanding towards people who get stressed out by noise.

woozlebear Mon 11-Feb-13 16:53:10

Really usual? The fact that we're disagreeing about this has nothing to do with the fact that you and I have different standards? hmm What is it then? The fact that you're right and I'm wrong grin?

glossyflower Mon 11-Feb-13 16:58:53

It's all about being considerate to one another. A child doesn't always automatically get more consideration just because of their age.
I think we as adults should be teaching children acceptable behaviours, and we have to agree on one thing that the concept of 'acceptable behaviours' varies from person to person.

MissPricklePants Mon 11-Feb-13 17:00:11

It wouldn't bother me, rather hear a toy than a screaming child! Me and dd regularly use trains and do long distances (6 hours plus) and I take crayons, paper, magazine, little figures, snacks etc and she still gets restless and bored so anything to stop the whinging is a plus! YABU OP, unless it was a quiet carriage. People talking loudly on their phones irritate me, or loud music etc etc how is a childs toy different?

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 17:01:01

I'm always right grin

GetOrf Mon 11-Feb-13 17:01:41

Someone played Call of Duty once on a train - 2 hours of 'fire in the hold' or whatever they say followed by an explosion and gunfire. I hated that man.

Thing is travelling on a commuter journey is so bloody relentlessly grim anyway. You can't expect to live in a bubble. Even on the quiet carriage you get loud typers. (which is really annoying for some reason). You just have to put up with it, or drive your own car.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 17:02:04

Of course a child should get more consideration because of their age.

Lottapianos Mon 11-Feb-13 17:03:03

What MechanicalTheatre and woozlebear said

glossyflower Mon 11-Feb-13 17:04:26

misspricklepants

So people being loud on phones in carriages annoys you and you ask how is there a difference? There is no difference, a nuisance noise is still a nuisance and I would not use my phone loudly on a train just as I wouldn't have noisy toys on a train.

Lottapianos Mon 11-Feb-13 17:04:39

'Of course a child should get more consideration because of their age'

Of course the child would want the sound on but it's the parent's job to switch it off. I don't think anyone is having a go at the child!

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 17:05:19

Mind you, I could have happily lobbed a kids phone out of the bus window, after I had listened to gangnam style on repeat for half an hour.

nailak Mon 11-Feb-13 17:07:24

if the train was packed then i doubt there would have been the room for colouring?

and the parent was trying to stop the child rolling around on the floor by giving them a toy to play with?

what is this children should be seen and not heard stuff? kids are kids, they do make noise. they do exist in public spaces.

glossyflower Mon 11-Feb-13 17:07:49

usualsuspect so you think a child should be able to pick and choose what it wants to do all the time? Do you not think this could be bad for the child's upbringing if they don't know their boundaries?

Do you think the same of Jon Venables and Robert Thompson? I know completely extreme but you think because they were kids, even though they knew between right and wrong they shouldn't have gone to prison?

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 17:09:18

What?

TheOneAndOnlyAlpha Mon 11-Feb-13 17:09:57

Sorry, had to pick DS up. Glossy thank you for your kind words regarding my parenting skills. I am lucky to have a really lovely boy, but, when it comes to leaving the house with him screaming and crying because I took his relatively small vtech tambourine away, or, saying, do you know what, happy son happy mother and letting him take it with him, I chose the later. We always take books. He loves them. But sometimes life is too short. And yes I do notice the withering glances. But I am at the age where I choose to ignore them. For the record, I also get withering looks when he's sat nicely on my lap saying 'blueberries!' Over and over again for half an hour. So be it.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 17:10:00

Now you are being weird.

<backs out of thread>

woozlebear Mon 11-Feb-13 17:10:15

Of course a child should get more consideration because of their age

Well over some things, sure, but not when it's a matter of easily avoidable inconsiderate behaviour. After all, as glossy said, how on earth are children to grow up to be polite considerate adults if they're not expected to be in childhood? Surely if they're allowed to play with loud annoying gadgets on trains they'll just turn into adults who think it's fine to play loud annoying gadgets on trains? It's not like there's no alternative, that's the key thing, there's plenty of quiet toys out there.

And anyway, it's not really the child you're asking for special consideration for, is it? It's the parent because they have a child. It was her who chose what toy the child had, after all - her behaviour, her decision. The child would probably been perfectly happy with something else.

GetOrf Mon 11-Feb-13 17:10:28

The average commuter makes a lot of noise.

Drunkards.

Jonty telling his wife 'I am due into Reading at 6.40, see you then'

Kids listening to music on their stereos just loud enough so you can hear the bass but not loud enough so you can work out what the song is so it drives you mad.

The fucking LOUD TYPERS again.

People with an ancient Nokia who haven't turned the keypad tones off and text very slowly going beep beep beep beep.

People repeatedly zipping and unzipping bags with 1000 zips on them.

Rustling carrier bags.

The noise an iphone makes when a text comes in repeated constantly throughout the carriage.

TheOneAndOnlyAlpha Mon 11-Feb-13 17:10:44

What?!?! Oh I get it. You're bonkers. I give up!

I really just have been on the wrong trains. unusually end up with drink guys talking to me, complete nutters harassing me. Stuck in carriages with poppers being handed round or kids trying to sell me xmas notes. and that's if I've been lucky enough to get a seat in an actual carriage. Usually I end up sat in my bag in between as its the only available space and people walking past me to go to the loo every five mins. A talking toy would make a pleasant change wink

Lottapianos Mon 11-Feb-13 17:11:34

Have any of you ever asked a person/parent to turn off their damn racket music in public? I have seen it done on a bus once - an adult man turned to a teenage boy who was blaring his music out of his phone and just said 'dude, please'. Teenage boy gave a slight nod and switched it off. Just like that. I was in awe. Although adult man was built like a brick outhouse which may have had something to do with it!

GetOrf Mon 11-Feb-13 17:11:48

oh my fucking JESUS CHRIST ALIVE

Why make the connection between a child having a bit of license to play on a train = Venables and Thompson ended up doing what they did because they were indulged and had no boundaries.

How bloody moronic is that.

usualsuspect Mon 11-Feb-13 17:13:35

who are these people?

GetOrf Mon 11-Feb-13 17:13:46

I have asked someone to turn their stereo down on the quiet carriage. And they have. But then I did it recently and the kid told me to fuck off.

So I probably won't bother again.

woozlebear Mon 11-Feb-13 17:15:06

Lotta, yes, I have. I got told to move to another seat if I didn't like it. There were no other seats. And the language was a lot more colourful than that.

Lottapianos Mon 11-Feb-13 17:16:20

'But then I did it recently and the kid told me to fuck off'

Charming hmm Maybe he was given noisy electronic toys to play with in public when he was a toddler and now feels it is his inalienable right to do so whenever he feels like it? wink

Joking aside though, that's horrible GetOrf, must have been very intimidating

GetOrf Mon 11-Feb-13 17:18:41

I just looked at him. He was about 20 or so. I asked him ever so politely, I didn'yt do my whole Joan Sanderson act. I have asked people before and they have been fine and turned the stereo down.

He was only on the train about 8 minutes, from one stop to the next. When he got off the rest of us just very englishly shook our heads and tutted. grin

GetOrf Mon 11-Feb-13 17:19:05

I think he was pissed btw.

MrsKoala Mon 11-Feb-13 17:21:52

As someone who suffers from misophonia, repetitive noises like 'triangle' said over again is much worse than changing sounds like a conversation. If i had to listen to someone or something saying the same word over again I may have been forced to injure myself. My hearts beating faster just thinking of the panic I would feel and the desperate need to 'get out' at all costs.

TepidCoffee Mon 11-Feb-13 17:23:34

DH bought DS in on the train to meet me from work last week, and failed to bring sufficient suitable toys hmm. He had a few books and some stickers.

On the way home (nearly 50 mins!) we discovered that the alternative to suitable entertainment is shrieking 'TRAIN' every time one went past. And we were going through the busiest station in the UK. And then flipping about like a landed salmon for the last ten minutes shouting, 'Mm STUCK!'.

Oh, how our fellow passengers must have wished for a soothing electronic toy.

<rocks gently>

MrsKoala Mon 11-Feb-13 17:31:16

Omg Theoneandonly I am now saying blueberries over and over in my head imagining having to listen to it for 30 mins. I'm almost feeling faint at the thought. grin I shouldn't be let out really. I know it's my problem, but I think I'd defo rather hear crying. Although I tbf would also hear crying, it would be the cry of my soul trying to escape my body!

TheOneAndOnlyAlpha Mon 11-Feb-13 17:34:28

I'm sorry MrsKoala! <passes DS over for a soothing play. He's really rather lovely, you know>

MrsKoala Mon 11-Feb-13 17:42:12

I'm sure he is smile I've got a 5mo and I am getting prepared for hell.

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Mon 11-Feb-13 17:42:46

I was going to post but I see the thread just got Godwinned.

Op, YABU.

BlueberryHill Mon 11-Feb-13 17:59:55

What is godwinned, something to do with Fred the Shred?

There is obviously a need for parents to be able to entertain their children in absolute silence. Maybe as well as baby massage, sure start should offer "mum as mime" classes, I bet it would be a hit.

ubik Mon 11-Feb-13 18:08:03

Some people are sooo flippin precious hmm

My kids do make noise on trains as we frequently had 5+ hr journeys made into unbearable hell by Virgin trains. Trains are too small, nowhere to put luggage/buggies, they are too hot, they make children vomit all over a Japanese tourist on one memorable occasion

train is usually cancelled, compelling me to change twice with buggy, luggage and 3 small children. Frequently reservation system crashes leading to free for all for seats and for me, two children sat underneath a table while I crouched the corner on the floor breastfeeding my baby.

frankly if I have a seat and my train is not too delayed, I consider it a bonus. A toddler playing with a noisy toy is a small inconvenience and frankly not worth worrying about.

MechanicalTheatre Mon 11-Feb-13 18:08:28

It's nothing to do with absolute silence. No-one expects that.

Sorry, was just an opportunity to crck my "Mum the Mime" joke more than anything grin

ubik Mon 11-Feb-13 18:15:14

out of interest - hpw do you get toddler tp behave like an adult on the train?

AnyaKnowIt Mon 11-Feb-13 18:18:05

I'm still shocked that on a busy train during rush hour, you were able to hear the toy tbh.

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Mon 11-Feb-13 18:18:32

Godwin's Law relates to Internet threads having gone too far when there is a reference to Nazi Germany/the Holocaust, usually relating to something which is far too mild an irritant to ever warrant this (eg "the teacher confiscated DS's mobile phone, what is this, Nazi Germany?")

Invoking the killers of Jamie Bulger as a comparator to toddlers playing with noisy toys was a similarly extreme comparison, to my mind.

IneedAsockamnesty Mon 11-Feb-13 18:19:02

Yabu.

If you want peace and quiet on a train use the quiet carriage

BlueberryHill Mon 11-Feb-13 18:37:55

Thanks, TheDoctrine, I think you are right on that one.

glossyflower Mon 11-Feb-13 18:42:28

Firstly the comparison was considerations given towards children. It was an example that not always should children be given considerations over everyone else.
Secondly, are you calling me a nazi?

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Mon 11-Feb-13 18:46:42

Of course I'm not calling you a nazi.

OliviaMumsnet (MNHQ) Mon 11-Feb-13 19:02:26

AHEM
Can everyone play quietly nicely?
thanks

MrsDeVere Mon 11-Feb-13 19:05:08

Absolutely. I think everyone should follow my 'my bubble' rules and we will get along beautifully

<hands out vintage frocks and small dogs>

I don't know why anyone would grumble at Vtech toys anyway. Quality sounds and music.

Altogether now...

Hello Puppy calling, do you want to play with me...

They should pipe it out the speakers on trains, like posho lift music.

ubik Mon 11-Feb-13 19:48:01

"Puppy says... STFU stupid man on phone..."

AnyaKnowIt Mon 11-Feb-13 21:12:35

Lets all have fun together while we learn our abc's

I got rid of that walker a year ago [saddo]

ElephantsAndMiasmas Tue 12-Feb-13 13:20:53

Oh Hammy I so agree - I appreciate that people want to entertain their kids but honestly listening to an (incredibly piercing somehow) american voice going "WELL DONE, YOU FOUND A STAR" and a trill of music every 3 seconds for hours is one of the most irritating things in the world. I would honestly rather listen to a child whinging at close range than one of those things down the carriage. It's the predictable, water-torture style repetition <looks about wild-eyed>

Playing a game or chatting to your kid or even watching a film quietly is fine, not the electronic HELL games. Why don't people realise? Is it because parents are so accustomed to hearing them that they just go over their heads?

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems Tue 12-Feb-13 14:56:11

If you want peace and quiet on a train use the quiet carriage

See not every train has a quite carriage so it isn't always possible to use one. I'm thinking about the little two carriage trains...

Repetitive, dull electronic games complete with shite music/overly annoying voice would have me feeling stabby in less than 15 minutes. Especially if there was no escape from it.

If after 15 mins it was still on I'd have asked the mum if the cause of stabby rage had volume control and that it would be nice if we didn't have to listen to it any more since we've already put up with it for so long... Some people are just inconsiderate of others and use the 'but the child needs to be entertained' drivel as an excuse.

How did parents cope on trains before loud annoying games were invented?

My ds is 17 months, hates sitting still, doesn't like crayons and stickers (unless he is throwing them on the floor). I am going on a flight with him on Sunday by myself, and in order to survive I am taking an IPad full of noisy toddler games. Otherwise he will become frustrated and scream because he can't move around. How exactly do I get him to be quiet? I would understand if the child was older, but a toddler Ffs!

fedupofnamechanging Tue 12-Feb-13 15:56:10

It's public transport. The clue is in the name - it is never going to be quiet or suit everyone who is on the train.

Best travel by car if you want are easily annoyed by other people.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Tue 12-Feb-13 16:10:36

Forgive my probable ignorance, but can't kids that age wear some kind of safety headphone type things with limited volume? If noise is ABSOLUTELY essential that is.

Maybe some people just aren't annoyed by repetitive electronic voices/noises. I'm starting to wonder if there's something wrong with me - if I was on that flight I would be close to tears with frustration. What about watching a film or cartoons?

BrainSurgeon Tue 12-Feb-13 16:35:59

I think OP and thos who agree with her should be introduced to UP grin

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 16:36:28

But karma you can easily turn that round and say "it's public transport - it's never going to be ok for your child to make a noise. If you are a noisy person, travel by car".

Why should the loud take precedence over the quiet?

PommePoire Tue 12-Feb-13 16:40:08

I don't want to say anything except that environment of MrsDeVere's bubble (see her post on page 3, at 15:51) should be made compulsory in all public places.

fedupofnamechanging Tue 12-Feb-13 16:52:32

People en masse are always going to make noise. If we day the child cannot play a noisy game, then equally we need to say that no one can make a phone call, play music or talk on the train, because all those things will irritate someone.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Tue 12-Feb-13 16:52:44

Why Brain?

I am actually really tolerant of people, groups of teenagers etc talking loudly, laughing, being stupid, kids shouting etc. I'll happily play with or make faces for small kids who wander over or turn round in their seats to chat. It's the piercing electronic stuff that carries right through a quiet (they are usually pretty quiet in the day time) train carriage. For people saying "you don't know how far they've travelled" well actually I often visit a railway terminus with no real place to go beyond it, so it's safe to say people getting on there and racking up the gadget volume instantly haven't been travelling for more than say 20 minutes. The thing is that people are doing it on purpose, they could choose to do something else. Same with the clickety texting thing someone else mentioned. I asked a girl sitting opposite me to turn it down/on silent recently and she looked daggers but did. I don't know why some people can't picture just what they're doing to others.

ElephantsAndMiasmas Tue 12-Feb-13 16:55:55

Also there are adults on the underground who play noisy games as well, with the volume on. I wonder why they can't hear themselves. You may think I'm a total catsbumface but it IS whether you like it or not antisocial to make a big noise for no reason in a quiet(ish) public place where people can't escape you.

God knows why people on this thread are assuming that we are just child-haters who are on the other hand thrilled at adults playing music, beeping incessantly, talking loudly etc etc. It's all really selfish and IMO knobbish.

BrainSurgeon Tue 12-Feb-13 16:58:26

Just to be clear, UP = unconditional parenting. Wait until you meet someone who does that on a train.

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 17:08:26

But I do also think that mobiles and music on a train shouldn't be allowed! It's nothing against children.

And it's not like the quiet carriage is any better. There are ALWAYS people making noise in them. Always.

OTheHugeManatee Tue 12-Feb-13 17:15:17

YANBU, OP. People who let their (or their children's) electronic gadgets play out loud on trains are fucking antisocial.

Those vile iPod headphones are bad enough, you know, the ones that leak music so you can hear tsss tsk-a-tsss tsk-a-tss tsss tsss as you jam your miserable commuting arse into your alloted 4 square inches of sweaty carriage. I have a near uncontrollable urge to wield a pair of scissors whenever I come across them.

But there is a special circle of Hell reserved for the designers of squawking toddler tat, and people who let their children use said tat on a packed commuter train are inconsiderate twats. I would absolutely rather hear a noisy child than some horrible piece of plastic braying 'boink! boink!' at me.

Wallison Tue 12-Feb-13 17:22:31

I agree that you are definitely NBU. And I don't see how it comes down to a choice between incessant fucking beeping or a toddler meltdown - surely in the days before toddlers had access to iPhones and the like they did not spend all of their time having tantrums? I mean, there are plenty of other things you can do to amuse your child without having them disturb a carriage-full of people. And IndiansInTheLobby if I was on that flight with you I would complain about you.

permaquandry Tue 12-Feb-13 17:29:31

What about tolerance and patience? Honestly, when did something like this cause any real damage to anybody?

You were on that train for a minuscule amount of time in the great scheme of your life. Yes, it was noisy and probably irritating but jeez, was it really that big a deal that you needed to post on here?

Btw, I suffer from regular migraines and am not good with loud noises, but even so...........

Procrastinating Tue 12-Feb-13 17:45:47

YABU. With toddlers you do what you can to survive, if you haven't had a difficult toddler you have no idea.

I know someone who does UP in first class. I wouldn't advocate that.

Wallison Tue 12-Feb-13 17:53:36

I don't see why anyone should tolerate or be patient about another person's bad manners. NB I am not saying that the toddler has bad manners, but rather that the parents do if they take a noisy electronic toy onto the train. Just get a sodding colouring book, ffs. Or talk to your child. And I was not aware that raising toddlers was a death-sport, so talk about 'survival' is over-egging the pudding a little.

Procrastinating Tue 12-Feb-13 17:56:01

Have you had a toddler Wallinson?
Mine had an attention span of 5 minutes. Colouring book - 5 minutes, talking -5 minutes - then what?
It felt like survival to me and I'm sure to many others.

permaquandry Tue 12-Feb-13 18:00:05

Bad manners? It was a parent with a toddler on a train playing on a loud game. A packed train, with no doubt lots of other noise. Things are irritating but the world would be a nicer place if everybody was a little more tolerant.

The mother did not set out to annoy fellow passengers, just to keep her child entertained.

What would be ideal, a silent train? In what world would that happen?

I don't get the bad manners thing, the kid wasn't swearing, nor was the mum, or talking loudly on the phone, running around, causing damage, nor were they whining or screaming.

TandB Tue 12-Feb-13 18:06:11

I like absolute silence on a train. No mobiles, no headphones, no keytones. Absolutely no slurping and loud chewing. And noisy breathers need not apply.

I also prefer people to remain absolutely still at all times.

I am, however, aware that none of this is going to happen grin and I have learned to live with it.

A Vtech toy, however, would probably send me into an apocalypse movie style rampage and there would be few survivors.

"Hello Puppy calling....aaaargh,no,help,aaaarghubf"

I always let DS1 have electric toys whilst commuting - the Ipad was a lifesaver - but I made sure he never knew it had sound!

Wallison Tue 12-Feb-13 18:06:31

It is bad manners to deliberately do things that will disturb your fellow passengers. Taking a noisy electronic toy onto a train falls into that category. You know it's noisy, and you know it will disturb people.

And no, of course I haven't had a toddler - my son fell out of my womb aged 21. hmm

AnyaKnowIt Tue 12-Feb-13 18:08:21

A child playing with a childs toy is bad manners? Really?

So on a jam packed train during rush hour you will have,
People coughing
Talking on phones
Playing on ipad/kindle/phones
Listening to music/ headphones
People talking to each other

Wallison Tue 12-Feb-13 18:12:47

^ A child playing with a childs toy is bad manners?

Yes, that's exactly what I said. OK, so I used different words which when put together had a totally different meaning to that sentence, but it was code for that which you cleverly managed to decipher.

Once again, for the terminally hard of thinking. It is the parent who has bad manners, for deliberately taking a noisy electronic toy onto a train in the full knowledge that it will disturb other people. There, that's three times I've said it.

TheOriginalSteamingNit Tue 12-Feb-13 18:14:26

'I can't stand this' is still a catchphrase with my parents for any annoying sound after a man left the train carriage with those words after listening to them reading Topsy and Tim to me in the late 70s! He must spend a lot of time apoplectic on trains these days!

permaquandry Tue 12-Feb-13 18:17:18

Wallinson, if your son is 21, then there wouldn't have been electronic games, gadgets etc for a toddler. Also, mobile phones, iPods etc weren't around either. If he us 21, can you remember clearly what having toddler is like?

If you have had a toddler in the last 5 years or so, ignore that last para.

Fwiw, my 2 have Nintendo ds and iPods and in a public place, the sound is always off or very low. This is something I like to do as I don't like to draw attention to myself or children. Same applies for talking on the phone etc.

I still don't think its healthy for anyone to let kids toy noises irritate or annoy them, life's too short.

Wallison Tue 12-Feb-13 18:20:20

My son is not long out of toddler years. I managed to entertain him just fine during them, including on trains and planes. [Does 'I'm a survivor' fist-punch]

nailak Tue 12-Feb-13 18:36:04

i am 28 and when i was a toddler i am sure we had noisy toys, might not have been electronic, but you have vtech tambourine, then you have tambourine, you have toys you push a button and they sing, and toys that you pull a string and they sing, my brother had his little duck with a string you pull on his pram from birth until 3 as it soothed him. I had a doll that sung. we often traveled by train, no one cared, they all said look at the cute fat baby. and there was no volume control on the toys we had.

Once we were 5 or 6 we read books and left the noisy toys, we traveled on the train daily.
Also I am still confused to how their is the room for doing colouring on a packed train?

Procrastinating Tue 12-Feb-13 18:37:34

"Once again, for the terminally hard of thinking."

THAT looks like bad manners to me Wallison.

glossyflower Tue 12-Feb-13 18:40:01

I'm bowing out of this debate now. I cant believe I've witnessed downright nastiness on this thread - and all of us are supposed to be grown ups and teach our kids to develop into well rounded individuals!
Some people on this thread just don't get it that for some people loud toys in a public area is a nuisance to some people. And I think its a real shame kids have to be constantly "entertained" with keeping their heads buried in electronic gadgets whilst out in public.
Some people think this is reasonable some don't. Some people in the world think its ok to smoke whilst pregnant, some don't, point is we all have differing opinions and we should respect each others considerations.

Procrastinating Tue 12-Feb-13 18:52:21

Glossyflower, it isn't a case of respecting other views.

When you are trying to manage small children in public you get enough negative comments and raised eyebrows. We don't need other mothers to join in with the general intolerance.

I have three small children and no electronic gagets (maybe where I am going wrong!), but I would never judge another parent who was doing whatever they could to get by.

maddening Tue 12-Feb-13 18:52:58

Book a seat in the quiet carriage if noise bothers you. Sorted.

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems Tue 12-Feb-13 19:26:28

Book a seat in the quiet carriage if noise bothers you. Sorted.

And again not all trains are big enough to have a quiet carriage... So not sorted

Earplugs?

grin

HTH

<<backs out of thread carefully>>

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 19:35:34

Procrastinating So it doesn't matter what you need to do to keep your child quiet, even if it annoys others?

Great! My children can only sleep if they have Iron Maiden playing at full blast for 8 hours a night. And I'm moving in next door to you! I'm so glad that you will be understanding of their needs. See ya soon.

Procrastinating Tue 12-Feb-13 19:48:27

Of course it matters, but there are huge variations in what annoys others.
See the poster with the man annoyed by Topsy & Tim (I think) for example.

A toy that says 'square' and 'triangle' is not 8 hours of Iron Maiden. My children prefer Metallica anyway.

Wallison Tue 12-Feb-13 19:51:05

I think beeping and electronic voices annoy most people.

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems Tue 12-Feb-13 19:53:28

In fact fine let your child play its loud annoying game. I'll drown it out with V. loud Sexy, Naughty, Bitchy Me song which you will be able to hear in all its glory - and no you can't complain as it's my way of keeping me entertained on a train.... and I don't care about how it affects others :-)

It would be incredibly unreasonable of me to do it though which is why I wont subject anyone to annoying loud games and I expect the same common courtesy from other train users

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems Tue 12-Feb-13 19:57:05

Just in case no one has heard that song Song

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 19:58:06

Nothing yeah, from now on, should we all just play really loud music out of our phones? After all, it's normal to be loud on a train.

Fine!

Yippee! Let's all be loud and obnoxious because we can't keep quiet for 15 seconds at a time.

Wallison Tue 12-Feb-13 20:09:05

Actually, 'there are huge variations in what annoys others', so I think next time I'm on a train I'll go and take a big old dump on the table. After all, not everyone will be annoyed by that - it's a statistical FACT.

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 20:18:07

Yes. And from now on, I am going to talk loudly about my sex life, my anal sex life, on public transport, because that's not going to annoy everyone.

"Yeah? Yeah it's me. Just going home to get done up the tradesman's. Yeah. Yeah. Nah, there's only two of them today."

PrideOfChanur Tue 12-Feb-13 20:19:58

As a parent you can't win.I had to travel regularly with DS when he was little - we would read books,and talk.DS talks all the time,and in spite of our best efforts to quieten him down he is loud.He was loud as a small child too,and I'm sure he annoyed other people.
If I'd been able to poll the commuters giving us dirty looks,I reckon an electronic toy might have been preferable to DS's thoughts interspersed with my reading Bouncy Babies go to the Gym,or whatever it was.
How are you supposed to know what will annoy the smallest number of fellow travellers?
And there is a difference between an adult doing their thing on a crowded train,and annoying other people,and a parent trying to keep a small child reasonably happy in what is a horrible enviroment.YANBU to be annoyed by an adult,but I think YABU about someone entertaining a small child with a toy,even an irritating one.

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 20:22:35

Well I would never give anyone evils.

I don't know what the problem is with taking a non-annoying toy on a train.

skratta Tue 12-Feb-13 20:26:09

Better to have 'Square' repeatedly hundreds of times then a tantrumming toddler who could probably scream the train down if they wanted. I would have hoped the people on the train would appreciate that that parent was trying to annoy as little people as possible, and keep her child happy, and it's hard to do that.

OTheHugeManatee Tue 12-Feb-13 20:29:00

Non-annoying toys on trains, fine.

This toy sounded pretty annoying.

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems Tue 12-Feb-13 20:32:19

And there is a difference between an adult doing their thing on a crowded train,and annoying other people,and a parent trying to keep a small child reasonably happy in what is a horrible environment

Not really, the choices you make have an impact on those around you. The only difference is the claim that your childs need to have a loud annoying toy (as opposed to a quiet one) are more important than the needs of your fellow travelers :-)

usualsuspect Tue 12-Feb-13 20:34:52

When did MN get so bloody horrible?

Yuk to some of the posters on this thread.

Wallison Tue 12-Feb-13 20:36:10

See, I just don't buy it that the only options are either "triangle" repeated over and over for three hours, or tantrums. Surely there are children on this planet who do not tantrum even if they can't hear "triangle" every three seconds? Or am I raising a freak?

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 20:36:43

What, like the ones that think you can make as much noise as you like as long as it's in the name of entertaining your child?

usualsuspect Tue 12-Feb-13 20:37:34

You are the perfect mother Wallison, well done you.

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems Tue 12-Feb-13 20:37:44

No Wallison you're not raising a freak, we don't need loud toys when out either

usualsuspect Tue 12-Feb-13 20:38:24

No like the ones who make nasty fucking snide remarks for the sake of it.

HTH.

Wallison Tue 12-Feb-13 20:39:37

Thank you.

How is a train a 'horrible environment'?

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 20:39:47

usual You don't see "HTH" as snide? Because I really do.

PrideOfChanur Tue 12-Feb-13 20:40:16

I'm sure people can suggest toys - but I'm wondering what non-annoying toy you could use to entertain a small child,on a crowded rush hour train. You could read - if your child was sufficiently entertained by that. On a crowded train you couldn't draw,or play with toy cars/whatever. You could sing(!),or play silly pretend games,I would find that more annoying myself.
If you have a child who is old enough to be able just to sit and look out of the window,fair enough (if you could get near enough to the window to see out of it)
You need something portable,sufficiently interesting to hold your childs attention(and so keep her/him quiet),which can be played with while your child sits on your lap,and which doesn't make a noise itself .What?

Meglet Tue 12-Feb-13 20:40:19

Yabu.

Mine aren't even allowed electronic games but if it keeps a child entertained during a train journey then it wouldn't bother me. Better they're in one place than dashing around like mine try to do. FWIW I love listening to phone conversations on the train, dead nosey me grin.

usualsuspect Tue 12-Feb-13 20:41:33

Good, Because I was talking about you.

LAK11 Tue 12-Feb-13 20:41:51

I have read most of this thread through sporadic yawning - kids are kids, they need entertainment, sometimes they have to be on trains ..... Sorry if it sounds rude, but it is so boring. AND horrible. Do you not have anything better to do with your lives other than bitch about a noisy toy on a train and slag off other posters? It has now descended into some kind of bunfight and most of the regular posters would appear to have lost the will to live (as have I). Shall we call it an end and 'behave nicely?' FFS get a sodding life....

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 20:42:37

OK usual

DameMargotFountain Tue 12-Feb-13 20:43:11

LAK11

i've never seen you about before, but i like the cut of your gib

<pours wine >

Southeastdweller Tue 12-Feb-13 20:44:12

It bothers me but you just have to suck it up providing the noise isn't too loud, that or move carriages. I bloody hate noise on trains and don't care who it's coming from.

I'd say something in a quiet carriage, though.

PrideOfChanur Tue 12-Feb-13 20:45:40

Not every train is a horrible environment,but the train in the OP - jam packed,no spare seats, aisle full of people standing up,and was 6pm mentioned? - I think that is a horrible enviroment. Hot,smelly,stuffy,not able to move.I didn't like it much as an adult commuter.

Wallison Tue 12-Feb-13 20:48:38

Pride, if you are genuinely asking, when my son was a couple of years younger I used to take several little Mr Men books (small enough to fit in my handbag), a little notepad and a couple of crayons (ditto) and a pack of wipe-clean activity cards (again, ditto) - it's called something like "100 things for young children to do on journeys", all of which could be used while he was sitting on my knee on crowded trains. Or, if you want to go electronic, just swtich the damn sound off.

nilbyname Tue 12-Feb-13 20:50:11

I came on here after reading another thread, and usual yes, some of the posts here are totally gross.

Why are we so anti-kid in the UK. I hate it. Go to Spain, Italy, IME children are embraced, indulged, talked to, encouraged.

It is so dis-heartening to hear some of the attitudes on here. Glossy Yes, you.

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 20:54:42

nilby I don't think children should be indulged. Talked to, sure. Indulged, no.

I'm not sure why that makes some people so disillusioned and sad. People are allowed different opinions.

Personally it makes me sad that we need to entertain children with noisy toys when other people may be trying to sleep, relax, read, study or work. I have every sympathy with parents whose children are screaming or tantrumming. I just don't have much patience with people who think a train is an appropriate place to use a noisy toy.

Wallison Tue 12-Feb-13 20:57:07

How is shoving noisy electronic toys into your kids' hands embracing, indulging, talking to or encouraging them? All it is doing is teaching them to have no regard for people around them in public spaces.

usualsuspect Tue 12-Feb-13 20:59:11

It's horrible, nilby.

Awful nasty mean spirited thread.

Just yuk.

PrideOfChanur Tue 12-Feb-13 20:59:38

Yes,I was genuinely asking,it is a while since mine were little.Drawing wouldn't have helped with DS.
We always took books,and a few little toys which sometimes worked,sometimes not.I did take an electronic toy which made farm animal noises when I flew with DD (16 months) to visit family in the US - because it was distracting enough to overcome quite a high level of upsetness.Didn't use it on the plane though,only in the airports...

Southeastdweller Tue 12-Feb-13 21:04:44

mechanical I've been reading your posts with interest on this and agree with every word. If only the world had more considerate people like us!

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 21:07:36

Well apparently we're not considerate Southeastdweller apparently we're meanies.

Never mind that I've never once even raised an eyebrow at a noisy child. Never mind that my every journey is made hellish by noise. No, my opinion that people could take others into consideration marks me out as a real piece of work.

nilbyname Tue 12-Feb-13 21:07:50

mechanical and wallison, IMO, you are both being tres judgemental. Who knows if the toy was "shoved" perhaps the "evil" electronic toy was the last trick to come out of the bag after the crayons, lego, cards, books, puzzle and something wooden and handcrafted grin had all been exhausted?

We all parent differently, but sure are the sun rises, the world would be a much much nicer place if we extended everyone a little latitude and little bit of patience, and instead of getting our knickers in a bind about "triangle, square" noise pollution.

I think a toy that makes a noise if different from a "noisy" toy. See V-tech.

Children should be a bit indulged. But I can see that that word is loaded with very negative connotations. Listened to, free to choose, supported, permitted, accepted in lots of ways. But I digress.

foreverondiet Tue 12-Feb-13 21:09:21

Better than screaming toddler?

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 21:10:42

nilby I am not judging anyone. I couldn't give a shite how anyone parents. Point to the part in any of my posts where I'm judging.

All I want is a bit of peace and quiet.

nilbyname Tue 12-Feb-13 21:12:47

mechanical

You sound like you are spoiling for a fight, so no I wont indulge you there (see how I did that) and leave you to it.

Peace and love, and triangles. Squares. Let us not forget the humble circle. So essential.

Southeastdweller Tue 12-Feb-13 21:12:53

We're a rare species, I think...

usualsuspect Tue 12-Feb-13 21:14:25

Good job really....

MyDarlingClementine Tue 12-Feb-13 21:19:28

In Italy on some trains there is even a special little seat for children.

MyDarlingClementine Tue 12-Feb-13 21:20:25

Hammy02

Have you complained to the train operater for the statte of the train you got on, ie jam packed and no spare seats.

LAK11 Tue 12-Feb-13 21:24:35

Why DameMargotFountain, I am a serial lurker, I knows my regulars (nods wisely) and I have a hot 'crapdar' Thank your for the wine, please have yourself one too - cheers! - Did the emoticon thingies work???

usualsuspect Tue 12-Feb-13 21:26:15

Do you keep a spreadsheet on us all. LAK11 grin

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 21:27:30

nilby er, I really am not looking for a fight, just wondering why you thought I was judging. Shrug.

usual you really seem to want someone to care that you're making little snide comments. It just seems a bit sad, considering most of us are managing to have an adult conversation.

Southeastdweller Tue 12-Feb-13 21:28:22

Usualsuspect Passive-aggressive, non? Tad lazy, I think...

MechanicalTheatre Tue 12-Feb-13 21:31:32

I really do not get why people get so upset about other people's opinions.

You think children should be allowed to be noisy on trains. I think they shouldn't. I don't, you know, shout at parents who are entertaining their children, I don't rip the toy from the toddler's tiny chubby hands.

I just have a different opinion.

Why that would upset anyone is beyond me.

Smudging Tue 12-Feb-13 21:32:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DameMargotFountain Tue 12-Feb-13 21:41:40

<settles down to get a bit pissed with LAK11> yes, it did <glugs>

and on a school night

only it isn't it's 1/2 term <pours more wine>

permaquandry Tue 12-Feb-13 21:51:39

I hope that 'the' parent isn't on mn or at least hasn't seen this thread. I think she has had an unfair bashing, from what the op has said she does not sound like a bad parent nor bad mannered. It would have been better for the op to have politely asked her to turn the thing down or off. The parent's response could have made this a very different thread.

Yes, I totally understand how some people want quiet and find certain noises irritating but isn't lack of tolerance a trait that nobody really wants to have? Plus you have to judge each action on its own merit; a 'harmless' noisy toy keeping a small child entertained vs some of the other blush things mentioned up thread are NOT comparable at all IMHO.

Smudging Tue 12-Feb-13 21:55:58

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 21:56:41

OK,more than a little late to this but......
It would depend on the length of the journey.

You do have to consider other transport users aswell as your own child.
If it's a long journey it's difficult but other people shouldn't have to be driven bonkers by electronic rubbish toys.
The same goes for people wearing those idiotic earphones that spew out hisses and tssssks.

There really are lots of ways to entertain children without noisy,annoying crap.

No one minds the sound of children's voices but there is a limit where their toys become a reason for murder crying.

EchoBitch Tue 12-Feb-13 22:00:44

I remember accidentally on purpose breaking an electronic toy that MIL brought back from America.

I would never have inflicted it on anyone else else,never mind a car load of travellers on a train.

I would love to know the ages of some of these children who sit so perfectly!

I won't enter the flight on Sunday with the intention of being noisy with ds but seeing as he is a toddler, can't communicate or understand what is going on I most certainly will make sure he is happy and 'indulged' for that 2 hour journey. If that involves him pressing buttons on the Ipad then so be it....the noise will be low but my 'fantastic that is a pig' might not be.

Hopefully the 'adults' around us are not so judgey and black and white thinking as some on this thread who seem to think all toddlers love crayons. Please tell me if your children were colouring beautifully for hours on end aged 17 months so I can work on what I'm doing wrong.

indian certainly not my child!!! And she's two. I must be a terrible pare t cos I can't get they a journey without YouTube in the iPhone coming out. Usually after raisins have been eaten and pencils thrown on floor. Blowed if I'm carrying an entire toy box around with me when my phone will do just fine! smile

susiey Wed 13-Feb-13 08:11:41

I regularly do a 2 hour train journey with my 4 kids one of whom is 2 and its so difficult to get them to stay still and will use any trick in the book noisy toy or otherwise ( after exhausting all other options!) screaming and a tantrum is far worse trust me .
So yabu

extracrunchy Wed 13-Feb-13 08:25:18

YABU. Would you prefer the screaming, writhing alternative? grin
Remember these are toddlers - you can't reason with them.

And yes when I was a child my parents didn't have electronic toys to keep us busy on journeys with. However I do remember having My Little Ponies all over the table during a trip to Scotland and my brother playing with toy trains. Different toy but still noisy because guess what......toddlers on the whole are noisy, Especially when they are unsure/bored/trapped!

Why do some go out of their way to stick the boot in whenever possible?It would be rude if the toddler was throwing crisps around, spitting on the floor, purposefully screaming in people's faces or smearing crap everywhere....but playing with a toy on a train! <shakes head in sadness at the amount of miserable smug self righteous sods around>

Also trains aren't actually places designed to sleep, relax, work or read. This is what people do to pass the time in the same way this mother was. For what it's worth I find it a pain in the arse when some woman has imprisoned me by falling asleep and blocking my access to the toilet. Do you know what though that's life, it's not important and I get on with it!

Nincompoopery Wed 13-Feb-13 08:56:20

YABU. Surely what this actually boils down to is a personal preference on types of noise and noise levels. E.G for me I would have no problem with a child's noisy toy though I would be irritated at someone 'chamming' their way through a packet of crisps. My problem, not theirs.
I have a 3 year old DD who, by most standards, is very well behaved. However every journey we take I try to be as prepared as possible just incase of a melt down moment. I am sure many would take exception to me doing the following during the course of a journey:
*loud parenting (still not sure what this issue is with this) and discussing every thing we see out of the window
*singing favourite songs
*reading, followed by colouring, stickers etc
*non noisy toys
However if all of the above had been exhausted and my DD favourite toy happened to have noise then you can bet it will be brought out. This reasoning is two fold. Firstly as my daughters happiness and my Sanity is very important to me and secondly I am of the opinion that the majority of people would rather hear the toy than a child having a meltdown!

ElephantsAndMiasmas Wed 13-Feb-13 10:20:07

What was the answer to the child-friendly headphones question? Not an option?

(genuine question)

I'm pretty shocked at the number of people on here who think it's A-OK to have a loud and irritating electronic game on no matter how many people are being effectively forced to listen to it. It's almost as if the parent or the child making the noise wouldn't necessarily annoy others but would embarrass the parent, whereas devolving the noise-making onto a machine makes it no-one's fault, as if trilling WELL DONE THAT IS A TRIANGLE constantly throughout a five or six hour journey is an act of god or something.

Nincompoopery Wed 13-Feb-13 10:58:25

Six of one and half a dozen of another. how loud is loud? Was the carriage conversation free? This thread could just have easily been about a fellow passenger having a loud conversation. Would that have prompted the same responses from the YANBU supporters? I may have missed the info regarding the toy being played with constantly thought the 5 or 6 hour journey. If that is the case then yes it would be irritating. Though I'm not sure how many children would play with a single toy for that length of time without bing irritatd themselves.

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Wed 13-Feb-13 12:28:29

Elephants, if it's just a standard toy, it won't have headphones. If it was a game on an iPhone that might be an option but I suspect at toddler age there won't be many choices of headphones.

Elephants, toys can't have headphones. Especially toddler toys. They wouldn't pass any safety tests due to noise near the ears and the long cord.

usualsuspect Wed 13-Feb-13 12:47:25

I quite like listening to other peoples conversations on the train or bus.

PrideOfChanur Wed 13-Feb-13 14:11:42

"I'm pretty shocked at the number of people on here who think it's A-OK to have a loud and irritating electronic game on no matter how many people are being effectively forced to listen to it. "

I don't really think it is A-OK,but there may be times depending on the age of the child,and the time and duration of the journey,when it is the least worst scenario.Also - no-one should have to put up with noise they don't like in their own home.In public spaces you will be exposed to things which annoy you. I hate,absolutely loathe,background music in shops.It makes me tense and twitchy.(And to me it serves no purpose,unlike a toy keeping a child happy)But it is out there,I am forced to listen to it every time I go shopping,that's life.

And EchoBitch said "no-one minds the sound of childrens voices" - not sure about that either,not here on MN maybe,but in RL I've got the distinct impression that sitting in complete silence on the train would be fine,but the reading and constant question asking and answering we were doing was at least as annoying as some people obviously find the electronic toys!

ubik Wed 13-Feb-13 14:49:31

On long journeys we will do a range of activities (provided we get our reserved seats and aren't left to sit on floor o/s toilet) these include colouring, drawing,listening to story tapes - but I do remember how hard iot is to entertain a toddler - too young for story CDs, can colour but quickly loses interest - playdo is a good option - but pens get knocked on floor, drawing gets frustrating quickly and a toddler will let you know in a vocal way. Sometimes an electronic toy which happens to be noisy is the best option in a stressful situation as the alternative is crying/constant questions.

ubik Wed 13-Feb-13 14:54:05

Think about how people bitch on here about 'loud parenting' - and yet I often do this on long journeys - we might play Uno, or Ispy or test the kids on timestables or whatever and it is noisy. We are not precious or worthy parents, just normal people but I think other passengers would find this annoying.

Frankly I've given up caring what others find annoying.

tethersend Wed 13-Feb-13 15:00:51

TRIANGLE

VinegarTits Wed 13-Feb-13 15:15:41

this is one of them goady freds init?

op how your enjoying sitting back and watching the buns fly

VinegarTits Wed 13-Feb-13 15:16:44

*hope

bored of JK in the afternoon?

usualsuspect Wed 13-Feb-13 15:18:13

Op legged it long ago grin

ubik Wed 13-Feb-13 15:20:57

"Well done darling, yes it is a triangle, how clever, you are only 3 aren't you darling...darling?...yes we can play on mummy's phone in a minute - can you say paralelogram? can you say it? Can you remember to say it at nursery?

VinegarTits Wed 13-Feb-13 15:21:22

yup i noticed grin

nilbyname Wed 13-Feb-13 15:22:07

I am putting my gannies silver on it that this was a AIBU in reverse but the op got scared and left.

tethersend Wed 13-Feb-13 15:26:47

SQUARE

PrideOfChanur Wed 13-Feb-13 15:28:03

grin ,ubik! One of my DM's friends was a Physics lecturer - her eldest was famous for producing "diffraction grating" at nursery in response to something looking for dog/cat/pig type answers!

PrideOfChanur Wed 13-Feb-13 15:28:55

Brilliant, tethersend - you are really good at those shapes,aren't you?

MrsFruitcake Wed 13-Feb-13 17:56:02

Maybe she was so tired and stressed, the mother just didn't care. When a toddler gets bored, it's really hard to keep them quiet and surely a noisy toy is better than a surly, screaming child? If the train was very busy, then it will have been noisy anyway.

I still find it hard to entertain DS aged 5 on long journeys and I find it very stressful. Flights are always the worst, and I spend all my time trying to keep him quiet which is totally exhausting and very labour-intensive.

I think YABU to be honest.

tethersend Wed 13-Feb-13 18:51:44

CIRCLE

nilbyname Wed 13-Feb-13 19:35:55

Squircle.



Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiit!

LAK11 Wed 13-Feb-13 21:16:22

Should we channel ODFOD? grin

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