To think I'll never find a contraceptive that suits me?

(46 Posts)
notnagging Mon 11-Feb-13 12:20:01

I have an appointment to discuss contraceptives with my dr & I would like some advice please. I have 5 children, the youngest conceived after my coil got stuck :/ I have tried different pills over the years & the injection (which made me put on weight). I do not trust getting sterilised & I am still trying to convince my dh to get the snip. I have a history of depression & this is the first time I havent suffered from pmt. I am trying to lose weight, keep myself sane & I definitely dont want anymore! Please could anyone advice especially if you have had a contraception that doesnt lower your sex drive, make you hormonal or depressed grin

valiumredhead Mon 11-Feb-13 12:21:37

Is there any reason you don't trust sterilisation?

calandarbear Mon 11-Feb-13 12:23:41

I really feel for you, I can't use anything hormonal I had a copper coil in two years ago and it is fantastic but if it hadn't been for me then it would have been condoms.

notnagging Mon 11-Feb-13 12:23:43

yes valium. I seem to be very fertile ( history of twins) & I dont think it would work effectively. I have read too many horror stories on mumsnet & I dont see the point if you still get your periods & pmt.

MrsLettuce Mon 11-Feb-13 12:24:07

Have you tried the copper coil before?

MrsLettuce Mon 11-Feb-13 12:24:37

x post

scaevola Mon 11-Feb-13 12:25:37

What are your DH's objections to vasectomy? Is there any likelihood at all he can be persuaded?

Perhaps he should go to the GP with you, as contraception is something that affects both of you.

notnagging Mon 11-Feb-13 12:32:12

He says he will get it done but it has been 6 months now & I would like to take responsibility for it whilst Im waiting. My youngest has started weaning now so I now the risks have increased.
The coil got stuck and had to be surgically removed sad

calandarbear Mon 11-Feb-13 12:36:23

I really don't think you have many options left then, either one of you is sterilised or you use condoms or another simple barrier method indefintely. I agree a joint appointment to discuss it maybe the way forwards.

scaevola Mon 11-Feb-13 12:36:50

It takes 16-18 weeks for sperm to clear after the snip: worth getting him on the list now (if you go private, you can get it done in a couple of weeks: NHS waiting lists can run to months).

In the meantime: barrier methods (condom or diaphragm) might be the only remaining option.

notnagging Mon 11-Feb-13 12:41:39

is the diaphragm the ring? We have tried condoms but I found them really uncomfortable even with lubricant. Dh is on the list & he has cancelled once as he got cold feet. sad

redexpat Mon 11-Feb-13 12:48:55

No I think the diaphragm is called the cap.

I really like the patch. The only side effect I have is an occasional tiny bit of skin irritation. Same hormones as the pill, but more effective because it doesnt rely on your digestive system. I have one patch for a week, change, change again, then a patch free week when I get my period.

I've never been this regular (I put my mooncup in monday night and by tuesday morning there's something in it), I don't get PMT. I havent put on any weight, got acne, neadaches or anything else.

The ring I think is quite new - goes in for 3 weeks, comes out, period, goes in again.

notnagging Mon 11-Feb-13 12:58:34

I will ask about the diaphragm, patch & ring. The ring does sound new but research looks good & no periods smile
Will let you know what the doc says. thankyou smile

notnagging Mon 11-Feb-13 13:38:45

I found this
on the family planning association website. Its excellent really helped me out. As others have suggested it recommends the patch or ring. spot on! Will see if my doctor agrees.

notnagging Mon 11-Feb-13 15:44:38

Well my dr has said she won't prescribe the ring or patch until I've finished breastfeeding. She has prescribed me the pillsad

BelleEtLaBaby Mon 11-Feb-13 16:58:12

I'll never find anything that suits me - I can't have any hormones at all, I hate condoms, I don't trust a diaphragm/cap.

Dh also unwilling to have the snip, so when this baby is born I am going to get sterilised. I'm going to ask that they do the kind where a part of the tube is removed, not just blocked.

Doctors really, really push hormonal contraceptives. I'm assuming there's a financial reason. Mine is particularly enamoured with the mirena coil which I do not want. Mentions it a lot - although he has stopped now I'm pg, I bet he starts again once dc2 is here!

Itchywoolyjumper Mon 11-Feb-13 17:06:01

Notnagging, try the diaphragm, you can use it at the same time as the pill and if it suits you you could stop the pill. I take it its a progestogen only pill they've put you on?

sherazade Mon 11-Feb-13 18:33:00

YABU. The diaphragm is awseom and has changed my life for good. No pain, no hormones, no pregnancy yet grin

badbride Mon 11-Feb-13 18:45:05

There is one 100% effective method of contraception: total abstinence. My suggestion would be to practice this until your DH gets around to booking his vasectomy: it may help to focus his mind!

I know you said you don't trust steriisation, but it might be worth aksing your GP if Essure ( is available in the UK. It's far less invasive than tubal ligation and is aparently extremely effective.

If you want to avoid periods and PMT, check our Seasonale

badbride Mon 11-Feb-13 18:48:52

[sorry: previous posting went horribly wrong]

There is one 100% effective method of contraception: total abstinence. My suggestion would be to practice this until your DH gets around to booking his vasectomy: it may help to focus his mind!

I know you said you don't trust steriisation, but it might be worth aksing your GP if Essure ( is available in the UK. It's far less invasive than tubal ligation and is aparently extremely effective.

If you want to avoid periods and PMT, check out Seasonale ( It's a hormonal pill that means you only have 4 periods a year.

Am not a doctor so DYOR etc etc. . Hope you find something that works for you

badbride Mon 11-Feb-13 18:57:00

ps More info on Essure "the female vasectomy" and its use in the UK/ NHS here:

50ShadesOfGreggs Mon 11-Feb-13 18:59:32

The implant is working well for me. No side effect, and no period at all the first year!

I have been bleeding in the past few months but my GP has now prescribed me something to help with that and it is working.

Skinnywhippet Mon 11-Feb-13 19:03:12

What about 2 methods eg, implanon and condoms.

amothersplaceisinthewrong Mon 11-Feb-13 19:06:59

I was sterilised 21 years ago at the age of 52 and it was one of the best decisions I ever made. Complete hassle free sex (with only DH of course) from then on!

amothersplaceisinthewrong Mon 11-Feb-13 19:07:16

I mean age of 32!!!!!

Highlander Mon 11-Feb-13 19:35:46

After 5 children, it's time for your DH to take respnsibility for contraception.

I detest the way women in a stable relationship think that the mantle f contraception is theirs.

I swear by the implant - personally, no side effects other than no periods. Had one put back in as soon as I could after DD was born!

willesden Mon 11-Feb-13 21:16:49

Implanon has worked amazingly well for me. Three years with not one period. Just had it refreshed and again no problems. I can't recommend it highly enough.

notnagging Mon 11-Feb-13 21:23:51

She has out me in the pill whih I'm not happy about but she has said I have no house until I give up feeding. Will check the name in a mo

MummytoMog Mon 11-Feb-13 21:28:18

What kind of coil? You can have a copper one put in while BFing, and mine has been a miracle (after the initial settling in periods that were a blooody nightmare). Hormonal makes me kerazzy and completely uninterested in sex, so a no go, natural method was fab actually, until I misread my calendar and had to go have an emergency copper coil inserted the day before my day's funeral. Wot larks. Not.

notnagging Mon 11-Feb-13 21:28:56

It's called cerazette.

PavlovtheCat Mon 11-Feb-13 21:29:21

I have nexplanon (new implanon). Had a few issues with abdmominal pain for a while, and hormonal ups and downs but nothing different than on the pill really.

I had it put in after I had DD (not breastfeeding) and it was taken out so I could conceive DS (immediately!), and had it put back in after failed coil attempt while I was still Breastfeeding DS at about 8 months old. I was told by the family planning clinic at that time that in fact I could have had it put in earlier while breastfeeding but was 'guided' by gp to have mirena coil in first.

My GP didn't know about the implant, as they didn't do it, so cannot guide on it. It happened though they could put the coil in, had funding for it, so here was the reason for not encouraging me to go elsewhere for the implant!

Your local family planning clinic can talk you through what it involves, details etc, but for me it works perfectly.

notnagging Mon 11-Feb-13 21:33:14

Sorry that is the contraception she has prescribed. I told her I didn't want to take the pill but she says I've got no choice until I give up feeding.

notnagging Mon 11-Feb-13 21:34:06

Sorry choice not house!

I was using the ring until November, thought it was great until I found out I was pregnant! angry

I got on really quite well with cerazette though, only changed for ease of use. hmm

notnagging Mon 11-Feb-13 21:44:18

I wouldn't be able to cope with anymore kids so a mistake would be devastating. I'm worried I'd have twins again which would definitely send me over the edge.

HollyBerryBush Mon 11-Feb-13 21:51:12

I do not trust getting sterilised & I am still trying to convince my dh to get the snip.

Well, all I have to say is getting my tubes tied was the best thing I ever did. I really CBA with women who dont take control of their own fertility.

I wouldn't be able to cope with anymore kids so a mistake would be devastating

Get tied for your own peace of mind

I'm very worried as well as I wasn't planning this one (disability) and I don't think I would be planning any more ever unless there were drastic changes to my life.

I have no idea what to say when the MW asks me what BC I will go on!

Mirena, copper coil, implant, combined pill, patch (contact allergy), ring, latex condoms (another contact allergy) all don't work for me. I probably couldn't and wouldn't be sterilised due to both my age (22) and poor healing/fragile skin and Essure would probably be the same.

My Mother had 2 sets of non-id twins as well so that's a worry!

I feel your pain.

I'm really surprised and unimpressed she's said pill only while breastfeeding - like I said I've got a Nexplanon implant and I breastfeed.

notnagging Tue 12-Feb-13 05:52:13

What are you going to do schro?
This is 2nd visit to the drs in regards to this so I have little hope for a different answer. I really didnt want to go in the pill but it always seems to be their first choice. The fpa site was really good & informative. I explained my choices & why but she was as adamant the pill was the only choice I had.

Is there a family planning clinic near you? They may be more open minded about alternatives.

notnagging Tue 12-Feb-13 06:46:57

I have just looked it up now. There is a Monday evening clinic. If I can get childcare I'll go next week.

cwtchontoast Tue 12-Feb-13 07:23:24

Hey notnagging
I'm no expert but I would advise against the patches if you are very fertile, after months of constant bleeding while using them the gp told me they use a particularly low dose of hormones and the bleeding was a sign that I wasn't actually protected sad I have had terrible luck with contraception too, I really feel for you.

pouffepants Tue 12-Feb-13 07:49:36

Contraception is shite!

I had a nightmare with all forms, anything hormonal turns me into a suicidal depressive. Then when they tried to remove the implanon it split, so was in my system for ages longer.

Then had a coil which fell out. Running out of options but had a second coil which was checked after a month, they said it was secure and then a month after that discovered I was pregnant, it had shifted again.

After dc3, decided I was going to be steralised, dh wouldn't hear of it and offered to have the snip. Seemed a good idea, since I've nearly died under dental anaesthetic.

Dh now stuck with permanent ball pain (4 years on) crap orgasms, and little sex drive anyway. Yep, great option that turned out to be.

notnagging Tue 12-Feb-13 09:01:35

What do you use now?

NotNagging No idea. confused

Guaranteed I will get hounded the minute this one is born thought to choose a contraceptive. hmm

Hope you get it sorted soon.

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