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To be disgusted!

(45 Posts)
lightsandshapes Sun 10-Feb-13 19:00:17

My neighbour helped out with a family fun day recently. These are put on by the local family centre and funded with grants and public money. She admitted she fixed the raffle to favour one particular mum. I am disgusted and think people pay their money I good faith it could be them. How can I shop her without looking like a tell tale??

thebody Sun 10-Feb-13 19:01:37

I think that's fraud and the police could prosecute her.

She needs to watch her step boasting about this.

ComposHat Belgium Sun 10-Feb-13 19:03:01

if that is all you have to worry about you have a fortunate life. beak out and get in with your own life.

HecateWhoopass Sun 10-Feb-13 19:04:26

That's bloody awful.

I hope you were openly disgusted at her.

you can't 'shop' her without her thinking of you as a tell tale, but in your shoes, I wouldn't give a shit what she thinks.

The organisers need to know to not let her be in charge of the raffle again. Whether they say anything to her or not.

benbobaggins Sun 10-Feb-13 19:04:42

YANBU and I would shop her if I were you...

lollilou Sun 10-Feb-13 19:06:47

Why did she fix it? Was this woman in dire need or gone through some kind of trauma?
Or was it a mate or relative?

MrsRajeshKoothrappali Sun 10-Feb-13 19:08:44

Obtaining money by deception....!!

Not on. Is one of the reasons I don't take part in local raffles.

lightsandshapes Sun 10-Feb-13 19:09:58

Well she likes her lollilou and also because this particular mum helps out with the cleaning a lot. But then we all do our bit..... Just thinking of a sneaky way to deb her in. She is also a local councillor so I hate to think what she gets up to there!

lightsandshapes Sun 10-Feb-13 19:11:24

Compos hat. Fair enough. I just hate liers of any kind!

Chottie Sun 10-Feb-13 19:12:26

I think that is disgusting. Why did she tell you? was she boasting?

lightsandshapes Sun 10-Feb-13 19:26:34

Not sure why she let it slip. I was saying how nice x mum was over coffee and she got carried away and said, 'oh did you notice there was one strip of tickets that was a different colour from the rest?' I said, yes, I did actually!! I had asked for an orange strip but she said, 'none left sorry'. What a lie!!

lollilou Sun 10-Feb-13 19:26:57

Then that is disgusting. I could just about see it if the woman was in some kind of trouble, homeless,victim of dv or something, but that's wrong. What did you say to her?

CuriousMama Sun 10-Feb-13 19:29:57

She's a councillor now why doesn't that surprise me hmm Does she also have a moat?

Definitely tell the organisers. She sounds vile.

LittleChimneyDroppings Sun 10-Feb-13 19:32:30

Dob her in. Goodness knows what she gets up to as a councillor. Its not a surprise though.

It's not really disgusting. It's petty fixing of a raffle, for god knows what reason, but I wouldn't be getting into a dobbing her in situation as it's not really worth it.

Did no one see her looking for the different coloured tickets as she chose the prize? It's usually pretty obvious if someone does that.

HecateWhoopass Sun 10-Feb-13 20:01:12

She probably palmed her mate's tickets.

I am probably very black and white on the issue, but I do think it's disgusting. It shows a total lack of consideration of the people who handed over their money and expected that things would be handled fairly. Who is she to decide that they don't stand a chance, because she wants to make sure her mate gets stuff?

imo, it's the principle of the thing. I don't honestly see the difference between fixing a raffle for a bag of sweets and one for a luxury car. It's not right.

lightsandshapes Sun 10-Feb-13 20:21:08

Hecate totally agree its the principe.

BelleEtLaBaby Sun 10-Feb-13 20:36:57

How do you think the recipient of this favour would feel if it came out? Or the other entrants?

Yes, it's a petty issue but still not on, and this person shouldn't be allowed to run the raffle again.

Aren't there licences or laws about being allowed to run a raffle?

There's a council-run licensing scheme for Small Lotteries (with annual fee). I think charities etc are supposed to self-regulate. Best practice would be to let a random person at the raffle pick tickets from a container which you can't see into.

Realistically, I think all you could do is suggest this is done, as you have no proof and what she confided in you was just ambiguous enough for her to deny it or say you'd misunderstood.

KatyTheCleaningLady Sun 10-Feb-13 21:07:07

Thanks for this thread. It reminded me to finally send an email and report someone who had asked me to organize a raffle and then told me that he'd rigged it so that a particular person would win. I didn't send an email for a long time because there were other ethical concerns and it was all very complicated and then I had to move house.
But, I just wrote and sent the email and I feel good.

PrettyKitty1986 Sun 10-Feb-13 21:19:44

I rigged the stall I was in charge of at work for children in need.
It was based on 2 decks of cards...certain cards (drawn at random) related to particular prizes. The 60 or so poor sods that paid their £1 first didn't 't have a hope of winning anything decent because I took all the winning cards out and didn't put them back until over half way through.
I also gave a very nice lady from my department a nudge towards a winner so that she got a prize she'd been looking at.
So shoot me. She was a nice person who'd had a shit day and it made her happy. Someone had to win...why not her?
I just wasn't stupid enough to tell anyone.

CuriousMama Sun 10-Feb-13 23:23:37

It's illegal to shoot people afaik? Unless you are actually a kitty? wink You're not nice either then PK1986.

Hemlet Sun 10-Feb-13 23:28:46

Ugh I hate it when people say 'if that's your only problem you're lucky and should get lost'. I'm sure it's not her only problem, sometimes shit happens which is annoying and you want to share it.

Making twattish comments like that is unhelpful and pathetic.

StuntGirl Sun 10-Feb-13 23:32:57

It's illegal and a shitty thing to do.

Yes its low down on the list of Bad Things That Happen In The World but it's still wrong.

I would have no qualms about dobbing her in.

ThisIsMummyPig Sun 10-Feb-13 23:35:25

The trouble is you can tell surestart, but it won't get you very far. You don't have enough proof to do anything public. Is there any way you can trap her, and then send it to a local paper so it ruins her political career?

The nest of vipers can surely come up with an idea or two.

Booyhoo Sun 10-Feb-13 23:42:24

hope you feel good about that prettykitty that's £60 people gave in good faith thinking they were paying for a chance at the prize. i hope someone spotted what you did and has spread the word. do you ever feel paranoid that you're being talked about?

OP i would dob them in without question and i wouldn't give a shit if they knew it was me who did it. the fact that she is a councillor, even moreso that she should be called on her behaviour.

NellysKnickers Spain Mon 11-Feb-13 05:34:33

Well said Hemlet, that comment about " is that all you've got to worry about" was pointless and nasty. OP, maybe she did because this particular mum was in need of something nice happening for her?

ZillionChocolate Mon 11-Feb-13 07:28:56

If someone has a hard life/has had a bad day then by all means do something nice for them. Ensuring they win a raffle is not within your gift, or shouldn't be. It's dishonest and I think it is a big deal.

catsmother Mon 11-Feb-13 07:51:57

Exactly what Zillion said.

By fixing raffles etc you are being generous with other people's money and you have no right to do that however "deserving" you think the eventual recipient might be. Going down that route is pointless anyway as you have no way of knowing what shitty lives other entrants might have - who might just as equally, or even more so, "deserve" a prize (in your opinion - other people might disagree). And of course it's dishonest if you're taking money given in good faith in the hope of landing a prize when it actual fact they have NO hope of winning anything. Total false pretences and very wrong.

TroublesomeEx Mon 11-Feb-13 08:00:39

I would report it too.

It's fraud.

The fact that she's a councillor would concern me moreso.

It doesn't matter whether this woman was in need of something nice happening to her or not. I can't imagine she'd be particularly impressed if she knew why she'd won. I certainly wouldn't be!

And even if she didn't care, the raffle wasn't a personal charity event designed to benefit this one individual. It wasn't advertised as such, it wasn't run as such and the people who participated didn't do so to benefit this one individual.

TroublesomeEx Mon 11-Feb-13 08:02:48

Oh and OP, I don't think you need to worry about looking like a 'tell tale'. We're not at school, this woman was put in a position of trust and responsibility.

No doubt it was given to her because people felt they could trust their local councillor. And they can't.

lightsandshapes Mon 11-Feb-13 08:49:53

Thanks. Im glad you don't feel i am making mountains out of molehills. Definitely not my only problem hehe wish it was!!!

But am getting a bit bitter and twisted about it now and writing the letter to the local paper in my head as we speak. Two problems are- 1 she is my next door neighbour and I have to live with her. And 2. I use the family centre a lot and don't want bad publicity for the overall organiser who is lovely and does such a good job!

YANBU. I don't think it's petty at all. I'd shop them. I'm appalled that two posters on here don't think it's an issue and one blatantly condoned it by saying they'd done something similar.

Booyhoo Mon 11-Feb-13 09:14:01

yes, if you want someone to have something nice then get them something...out of your own money. dont use the money other people have given you to pay for something else!

OP why are you writing to the local paper instead of the event organiser?

TroublesomeEx Mon 11-Feb-13 09:15:51

I wouldn't contact the paper as a first step.

I'd bring it up with whoever it was responsible for organising the event.

Voice, I do think it's an issue. Just not a 'disgusting' one.

OP, I'd have a quiet word with the overall organiser as I'm sure they'd be able to prevent this woman from running a raffle in a way it can be fixed in the future.

TroublesomeEx Mon 11-Feb-13 09:29:20

I think the fact she is a councillor makes it a much bigger issue.

I wonder what other influence she has?

alemci Mon 11-Feb-13 09:30:47

I think it very dishonest and I don't blame you for being upset. Beer's advice is spot on. I wouldn't involve the local paper as it may put people off supporting this fun day again. It is one woman being irresponsible not the other fund raisers

gingeme Mon 11-Feb-13 09:33:15

Could you write an anonomous letter to the organiser letting them know about this woman ?

lightsandshapes Mon 11-Feb-13 09:38:30

Good idea about writing a letter to the organiser!!! Part of me wants to topple her political career as she's clearly corrupt. But I will rein myself in! Also I'd really like my pound back. I feel she stole it from me!

ChristmasJubilee Mon 11-Feb-13 09:44:30

I think you need to speak to the over all organiser telling her what you have been told. You have no proof so probably can't do much about it, however you might not be the only one she has told so it may "come out" from somewhere else. If you could bring yourself to speak to your neighbour and let her know how wrong she was and how shocked you are she may realise this is not the done thing.

gorionine Mon 11-Feb-13 09:55:27

Yes it is disgusting. even more so as she is a "figure" that people might look up to.
If she really likes the woman she tricked the odds for she can just buy her an expensive gift of some sort (with her very own money!) without spoiling anyone's chances.

I do not take part into any form of gambling and this sort of thing is part of the reason why.

I just don't get why she'd a) do it in the first place and b) tell someone she has done it.
It's as if she has a great need to be liked.

Wrt to the £1 spent - if the proceeds were going to the organisation I wouldn't begrudge it for the sake of a raffle prize.

gorionine Mon 11-Feb-13 10:37:06

Would you trust an organisation that cheats to favour a friend though?

Hmmm, good point. I'm seeing this as an individual acting alone to favour her own interests, with the organisation unaware and not condoning her actions.

You're right though - there's no telling what else she might have done/will do given that the organisation's regulation seems to be a bit lacking.

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