AIBU to fire my hair and makeup people for my wedding or am I being a bridezilla?

(125 Posts)
ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 19:23:25

I booked with a hair and makeup team a while ago now. They seemed qualified for the job and very experienced.

One of my bridesmaids and I went for the trials today. It was supposed to take two hours bit actually took them five. I am really really unhappy with the final 'look'. I have dark circles and the makeup lady hasn't covered them properly. I look like I have slept in my makeup and it has started to come off.

I showed the hairdresser pictures of how I wanted my hair and the bridesmaids. It looks nothing like I wanted. I have shown my family the photos and have seen them in person, and they have agreed it looks terrible.

If I cancel I will lose all the deposits with no guarantee I'll find anyone else to do it with less than a month until my wedding day.

I felt like a bridezilla telling them that I wasn't happy but I couldn't hide my disappointment. So do I cancel and hopefully find someone else or give them the chance to improve on the day? My biggest concern is that they massively underestimated how long it would take with only two of us there when there will be five extra people to do on the day. I feel really upset and stressed about this.

I'd demand another free trial purely on the basis that what was meant to take them two hours actually took them five and you're not confident that they'll be up to the job on the day. If they still can't do it in two hours and you're not happy with the final look, then demand your deposit back.

delilahlilah Sat 09-Feb-13 19:26:16

Don't risk it. If you are not happy, cancel. It seems wrong to take a deposit before a trial. My hairdresser failed to turn up for my trial! However I knew they would do a good job and we were short on time, so having made my feelings clear, they did a new trial and did my hair for the wedding. I haven't been back since though, I felt really let down. They didn't even contact me, I got there for them to look blank and say 'oh, she's not in today...'

You know you can't use them for your wedding. If nothing else it'll give you loads of stress. They need to know why though.

EuroShagmore Sat 09-Feb-13 19:27:14

Cancel. My trial made me look like an East European hooker. Absolutely awful. I ditched the woman and I went to my usual hairdresser to get my hair put up in the morning and did my own make up. And I'm very happy that I did.

Uppermid Sat 09-Feb-13 19:27:38

If I were you, I would do your own make up, you know what works for you and how to cover up. And re your hair, go to your usual hairdresser, they know your hair and how to do it, I personally wouldn't go for anything too dissimilar to how you wear it normally, that way you will feel comfortable on the day itself.

Unless you had a huge tantrum whilst with them , I don't think you were being brides ills at all.

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere Sat 09-Feb-13 19:30:23

YANBU. I wish I had told my make up person after my trial that I did not want her! I was worried at the time (9 years ago) about losing about £50 or so. Wish I had told her to stick it and did my own.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 19:30:26

I am actually quite angry about how long they took. I had other things to do today, my bridesmaid and I were relying on babysitters, and my dd missed her swimming lesson.

But then I feel really bad for criticising their work. They were laughing at me being so particular but it's because they weren't doing what I had asked which I thought I had made clear even showing them pictures.

It's a good idea to ask for another trial but I have do much to do and so little time. This is just further stress I really didn't need.

Tee2072 Sat 09-Feb-13 19:33:11

As soon as they laughed at me? I'd have fired them and walked out.

What horrible service. Is there a manager you can complain to?

It's not bridezilla to expect what you paid for and not accept being laughed at.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 19:33:37

I'm pretty upset that I am £200 down and still without a 'look' I am happy with. Even my friend said I should do my own makeup after seeing what the 'professional' did.

I didn't throw any tantrums and tried up stay jovial bit at one point I was nearly in tears as I was still sat in rollers with awful makeup on and three hours had elapsed.

I usually wear my hair down but would like it up for the wedding do it doesn't get in my face and annoy me.

mamalovebird Sat 09-Feb-13 19:34:01

Get a free re-trial and ask to watch as she does it so you can point out the bits your don't like as you go.

I had this with my make up lady. The first look was nothing like I wanted but I then realised she didn't know me from Adam so I had to explain myself in detail as to what I wanted. She did it again and got it right. You are paying for a service so don't feel bad about pointing out to her what you want.

If it's still bad, cancel. You want to feel comfortable and confident on your big day.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 19:35:42

Yeah, they were sort of laughing in a 'aren't you awkward' way. I'm pretty upset about the whole experience due to the time and money I feel I have wasted sad.

I should have walked out but still paid them for a dreadful trial.

Lexagon Sat 09-Feb-13 19:35:45

Honestly, I'd cancel - the stress of worrying about whether they'll do a good job on the day would be too much.
Re the makeup, if you're normally confident about doing your own, I'd spend the money you would have spent on professionals getting some really good quality stuff and doing it yourself (or, if there's one near you, could go to a Space NK (as opposed to the counters in Boots/Debenhams and look into getting it done there - I've had mine done a couple of times and been incredibly pleased with it, noticeabley done, if you get what I mean, but not orange/shiny/drag queen).
Do you have a regular hairdresser you could go to? Even if you just asked them for a recommendation of someone who specialises in bridal hair? Good luck!

jelliebelly Sat 09-Feb-13 19:36:05

Cancel and use your usual hairdresser, do your own makeup. 5 hours!!!!!

Bearbehind Sat 09-Feb-13 19:37:22

Seriously, make alternative arrangements. I did the same before I got married and when my husband to be saw me he said I looked like a geisha, think mega pale face, black eyes and red lips. Given my wedding dress was cream, this was not a good look. It doesn't matter what their qualifications are, if you look terrible, they aren't worth it!

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 19:37:49

That's a good point mama. She didn't let me watch what she was doing. I did shoe her a picture from another time I had a makeover and I explained about the dark circles. She put far too much blusher on as well.

I've just lost all confidence in their ability to do the job on the day.

jackstini Sat 09-Feb-13 19:37:57

£200?! for a deposit hmm
I would def cancel, you do not need to be stressing about how you will all look
I would also ask for the deposit back and say there is no way you can use someone for your special day that laughed at you.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 19:40:32

Lexagon, I am pretty good at doing makeup and was going to my own until my sister paid for us to go on a photoshoot makeover experience for my birthday and I loved how they did did it. I might just do that though, invest in some really good makeup and watch some tutorials on YouTube.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 19:42:53

It was about £100 deposit and £100 trial. What an absolute waste of money. Another thing was neither me or my bridesmaid had eaten anything as the trial was at 12.30. We got out at 5.30 and still had to pick up kids and get home. I have a headache from all the products combined with not eating a thing all day.

Itsaboatjack Sat 09-Feb-13 19:43:03

YANBU, if they can't do what they said they would then you should be able to ask for deposit back. And even if you can't you definitely don't want to be giving the more money.

I got married abroad so me and bridesmaid did our own hair and make up. We went to a Clinique make up counter and got a free lesson and bought some new make up.

I also normally wear my hair down but just put it half up so it still felt like me, but not in my face annoying me.

I practised once at home, no stress.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 19:44:26

Do you think they will give me the deposit back? I still feel bad for them. Also, I know they didn't make me look crap on purpose and will probably put it down to me being 'particular'.

scarlettsmummy2 Sat 09-Feb-13 19:44:36

I went to the hairdresser I always went to- she was great. I then got one of my friends who is great at makeup to do mine. She did it perfectly and I knew her well enough to be able to tell her exactly what I wanted. I also did my own mascara.

Overreactionoftheweek Sat 09-Feb-13 19:49:48

They charged you for the trial? I have never heard of that before. Definitely try and get your money back as they couldn't do what you wanted. Find someone else or do it yourself, don't let them stress you out on your wedding day

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 19:50:09

My usual hairdresser is on maternity leave currently but I will ring the salon on Monday and see if they can recommend anyone else. I think I will have to do my own makeup as I can't afford anyone else now.

gimmecakeandcandy Sat 09-Feb-13 19:51:38

Don't feel bad for them! I'm fuming at your behalf - they laughed at you and made you feel bad?! Funking tossers. You need to complain complain complain and write a letter saying you do not appreciate unprofessional service and the poor quality of the hair and makeup 'makeover' and want a refund or you will be seeking professional advice on retrieving your money.

DO NOT risk having them at your wedding. Where do you live? I'm sure one of us lives in your area and can recommend a good place to go. Please don't use such idiots - they sound awful. I'm livid for you!

farewellfarewell Sat 09-Feb-13 19:51:42

I think you should cancel. I had a similar experience, I ended up wearing pretty much the same make up as the woman who made me up. She had sallow skin and brown eyes/hair, I am fair with blue eyes. I looked absolutely terrible. I called to a friend straight after to give her a laugh! The lady asked me to go back and try again, which I did and honestly it was a disaster again. This time it was total overkill with the make up and I looked like someone in drag. I had asked for minimal/natural look but she insisted that for the photos I needed heavy dark foundation. She was about 25 years older than me so maybe it was just what she was used to working with but I didn't go back and neither should you op. Find someone else or do your own. Much less stressful than worrying about these people making a mess of it on the day.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 19:51:59

I noticed their policy has changed and they include the trial with the fee for doing it on the day but their prices have gone up to reflect this.

gimmecakeandcandy Sat 09-Feb-13 19:52:39

If you live near me, I'll do your makeup :-) no charge smile

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 19:54:56

Gimme, maybe I should feel more angry but right now I'm really upset. I stupidly thought this would be more straight forward. I am crap at complaining especially since I know they were trying their best. I just think their best was crap.

Does anyone want to see photos?

Mumsyblouse Sat 09-Feb-13 19:55:07

I would abandon and get everyone to do their own makeup, and look around for a good hairdresser, perhaps your usual one, you still have time to have a trial or two with a local hairdresser. I did my own make-up, I was advised to make it a bit bolder than usual, with a nice lipcolour and lots of blusher, to show on the photos, but certainly not extreme. I think you tend to know what suits you, have confidence.

pigletmania Sat 09-Feb-13 19:56:52

YANBU at all. Your paying for a service and if your not happy find somebody else

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 19:56:59

I'm in West Yorkshire area if anyone can recommend someone?

CatelynStark Sat 09-Feb-13 19:57:01

You should definitely can cancel. I have a friend who does fabulous wedding hair & beauty who is near Telford, if that's any good for you.

CatelynStark Sat 09-Feb-13 19:57:18

Oh bum. Xposted.

Narked Sat 09-Feb-13 19:57:32

'I know they were trying their best. I just think their best was crap.'

And that means you should at least get your deposit back.

gimmecakeandcandy Sat 09-Feb-13 19:58:14

Laughing at you is not trying their best. You need to get angry and toughen up! Please let us know where you are so hopefully one of us is near you and can advise you of someone to go to.

Do not have them do your hair and makeup again. It won't get better.

gimmecakeandcandy Sat 09-Feb-13 19:59:03

Xpost! Anyone in West Yorkshire who can help out a bride to be?

Yes, I would like to see photos - of what you've got and what you asked for.

I've never paid for a make-up artist, but would've thought that the WHOLE cost would be £200ish, rather than just the deposit. Am I ridiculously naive?!

splashymcsplash Sat 09-Feb-13 19:59:51

If you are unhappy then yes cancel. Lots of hairdressers will do your hair and make up, you should definitely be able to find someone else.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 20:00:17

I felt terrible for my poor bridesmaid. She gave up half her Saturday to do this for me. I don't think she knew what to say by the end. She knew I wasn't happy and neither was she but we'd been there so long we had both had enough so she said I looked nice before admitting it wasn't good when we left.

mummyplonk Sat 09-Feb-13 20:00:30

I would definitely ask for the deposit back, if you base it on the facts, they where over twice the allocated time, the experience was not enjoyable as it should be and the result was nothing like the directive. I agree with the others above, you will spend the next few weeks worrying about this and the morning of the wedding you could be so wound up. Whereas if you surround yourself with good friends good product and five hours, you could probably have tried out 3 different styles. I would focus on another hairdresser, go by a recommendation if you can, and enjoy the make up experience yourself, you can do it! I bet there are loads of make up artists on MN that can recommend things and hold your hand right up to the last minute.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 20:01:23

I will see if I can upload some photos. Not done it before.

Why do you feel bad for them? They are meant to be professionals and they obviously can't follow instructions when you told them what you want to look like. They laughed a you and acted like you, the customer, were being too picky! For your wedding day! I'd ring and get the deposit back and say you're going elsewhere.

thefarmersintheden Sat 09-Feb-13 20:05:04


Thingiebob Sat 09-Feb-13 20:05:43

Please do not use them! You are not being a bridezilla at all. Tell them you were unhappy with the result and wont be using them. Get your deposit back and go somewhere else.

For that price you could get someone really professional to come out to your house on the morning to do it!

Personally I had my hair done and did my make up myself.

EspressoMonkey Sat 09-Feb-13 20:15:49

Try She is an old friend and is lovely.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 20:16:54

I've uploaded a photo of my hair. I tried to upload one of the picture I showed them but it won't let me. What does everyone think? You can't see the front but the products they used made my hair look wet and crunch when I wanted natural loose curls.

ElsieMc Sat 09-Feb-13 20:21:06

My DD1 got married last year and had her hair and makeup and that of her one bridesmaid done. First company let her down badly and I went in and demanded all her money back and we got it. If they are unreliable, it's just an additional worry.

At this late stage there were no more upmarket type companies available, but she went to a small "backstreet" hairdressers. They were very reasonable, I think around £80 for two hairdos and make up. I was told by my own hairdresser that it was a good choice because often small salons are better at putting up hair than cuts, which they were.

My DD did not like her first makeup, but they agreed the colours my DD wanted did not look right on and changed it immediately. They both looked lovely on the day, better than the trial, and the reason you have a trial.

Colleagues had their hair and make up done by our most expensive salon and they said they looked like drag queens with good hair! (tango'd with foot long eyelashes).

Get rid of these piss takers and go to a small salon, if you still have any confidence left. If you are still not happy, you can do it yourself. Good luck.

ElsieMc Sat 09-Feb-13 20:24:43

Sorry, I forgot to say that the £80 included going to her wedding venue, where the hotel provided a room, to do the hair/makeup. Two staff on duty.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 20:27:10

Thank you to everyone for the replies. My biggest concern is that nobody will be available at such short notice and my budget has been wiped out due to the money I have already spent.

It has been nice to come in here and hear people say I ANBU since so many people have said things like 'something is bound to go wrong', 'it's not a big deal', 'it's only one day'. But I would like to look my best on my wedding day and have photos I can look back on and feel happy with. Not to mention that I am paying for a service!

Thank you espresso, I will check out that link flowers.

Looks like I will be making lots of phone calls this week.

ProtegeMoi Sat 09-Feb-13 20:32:31

Can't see the pic, think you need to make your profile public.

I wouldn't be happy either and would demand my money back or have a free trial where they do it properly.

MmeLindor Sat 09-Feb-13 20:33:26

How can they take 5 hours to do hair and make up for 2 people? That is ridiculous.

Do you have a photo of how you wanted it, even if it is not the one that you showed them, something similar?

Is this a proper salon or a couple of women working freelance?

GettingObsessive Sat 09-Feb-13 20:34:14

OP, sorry to hear it was such a disaster, no wonder you're upset.

Have a look on make up advice forum. Lots of professional make up artists on there who can either help with doing your own or to recommend someone in your area. It's not a busy time of year so I'm sure you will find someone who is free.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 20:39:28

I've made my profile public and my pictures visible so not sure why it won't show? I've made the pic my profile one now.

This was a professional salon. It was actually only hair for two, and makeup for one. I have no idea how they took so long.

I will check out the beauty boards. Thanks for the tip.

Lovecat Sat 09-Feb-13 20:40:23

Please ask for your money back, I've looked at your pics and I can see exactly what you mean about your hair, it looks like you've just got out of the shower, not at all natural curls sad

As for laughing at you - angry on your behalf. Hope some of the links work out and you find someone who listens to you and does what you want.

Oh lord, I can see your pics and you're right, it's really not good.

And that's me trying to be polite about it, it looks like something off gypsy weddings.

Compared to that you'd be better off doing it yourself. Definitely cancel.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 20:43:50

Thank you lovecat. I'm glad you agree with me and its not just my imagination. I sat under a dryer for an hour with curlers in to end up looking like my hair has been scrunched with wet look hair gel angry.

That was the finished look btw.

ImKateandsoismywife Sat 09-Feb-13 20:44:51

Bloody hell op, looking at the picture ya so nbu! Is that seriously the end result after 5 hours?! It looks like they gave up halfway through and I agree it looks wet. You need to cancel these jokers and get your money back. angry on your behalf!

MmeLindor Sat 09-Feb-13 20:45:08

If it was a salon, then I'd go back and say exactly what you have said here.

1. They took 5 hours rather than the 2 they had estimated

2. They did not do what you wanted them to do

3. When you expressed your displeasure, they laughed at you

4. You do not trust them to do the job that you contracted them to do

Tell them that you want your money back and that you will not be having them to do your hair.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 20:45:23

Yes, gypsy wedding hair us exactly how I would describe it! I wanted natural looking bouncy curls, not rat tails!

The front was pretty bad too. Back combed and pinned back an inch from my head so you could see underneath them.

I'm sorry, the hair is not good enough at all! Were these hairdressers recommended? I swear I could do better than that myself with no training whatsoever! Please ask for your money back.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 20:47:48

I wish I could show you the beautiful hair style I actually chose.

I should laugh really, the guy kept on saying he would describe it as a classic and sophisticated do. This was when he was working in the back and I couldn't see what he was doing. Sophisticated is not how I would describe it anyway!

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 20:49:33

I met them at a wedding fair. They had a book full of bridal hair they had done so I thought they were experienced. Looking back through it though, all the styles were very similar and not what I had in mind. All those months ago I hadn't given much thought to how I would have my hair having not even bought my dress at that point.

Lambzig Sat 09-Feb-13 20:51:06

YANBU. I dont want to be mean, but looking at your photo's your hair does not look nice, it looks greasy with product and I would imagine you have lovely long curls that should be easy to style. I think you have to walk away, not least because you dont want to be stressed on your wedding day and have that sort of negativity around you. I think they were really rude laughing at you.

I agree with the idea of going to your favourite make-up brand counter and asking them to advise you. If you can go when they are not busy (mid week during working hours or early Sat morning) they will spend ages with you and show you how to use the make-up. If you have one local to where you are getting married, you could always do that on the morning of the wedding.

One thing to remember. When I was getting married and having a last minute panic that doing my own make-up wouldn't be good enough, DH said he didn't like it when brides had hair and make-up that made them look nothing like their usual selves and that he would prefer me to look like the person he had fallen in love with, just myself at my most polished. Am sure your future DH would feel the same.

VodkaGirl77 Sat 09-Feb-13 20:51:13

You are so NBU!!! Did you say earlier that you wanted an up-do, because that doesn't look like an up-do to me? I went to my local salon for my hair trial yesterday (wedding one week today!) and came out feeling like a million dollars -that's how you should feel. Complain and ask for money paid for deposit back - they have not provided the service you have paid for.

Also, with regard to make-up I went to the Clinique counter this week - girl did my make up based on what I told her - looked fab! Very natural, which is what I wanted, and I bought most of the products she used. Have had a go at recreating the look today and had lots of compliments and I am not used to putting make-up on so it can be done!

Hope you get everything sorted before your big day, but agree that you shouldn't go ahead and use them as it will cause you stress that you don't need on your wedding day.

Bearbehind Sat 09-Feb-13 20:51:32

Threadworms, that's not good. Apart from anything else, what would happen if they took 3 hours longer than expected on your wedding day.........?

I'd use that as your excuse for sacking them and getting your deposit back, it is much less subjective than not liking your hair/ make up.

I would write down a list of everything you didn't like about the trial and phone them up and approach them with a view to asking them how they are going to rectify it.

If you are unhappy ask them for a refund. I think a 3yo could do better .... Sorry!

DontEvenThinkAboutIt Sat 09-Feb-13 20:52:34

That hair is not good at all sad.

SoYo Sat 09-Feb-13 20:53:53

ThreadWorms I'm in Leeds but got married in Harrogate & had a hair & make up lady from Knaresborough that I could thoroughly recommend. It was a woman called Shirley from a company called Debonnesse & she travelled to wherever you wanted on the day so might be ok for West Yorks. Was fairly expensive though but my hair was lovely & very natural & make up excellent. For a close friends wedding I went with her to a bridal make up lesson at Bobby Brown in HOF in Leeds & then we all did our own with their tips & it was great, very simple & effective!

gimmecakeandcandy Sat 09-Feb-13 20:55:15

Demand money back or you will complain and out them to MN! ;)

Lambzig Sat 09-Feb-13 20:55:57

Also, I am sure that I could do better with some ghds, a little experience of doing friends hair and an hour. A good hairdresser would not necessarily use curlers to get your hair to a loose curls style - presumably they put it in rollers from wet? Seems very old fashioned.

fluffypillow Sat 09-Feb-13 20:57:46

YANBU. Cancel them. You will be so stressed out otherwise, and it will spoil your day.

cardamomginger Sat 09-Feb-13 21:02:25

Cancel. You cannot use these people. I also thought you'd just got out of the shower. I really don't think that you can use this team, even if they are willing to give you a second free trial and you liked what they did - they have already demonstrated a completely unreasonable attitude problem, they are too slow (who the hell has 5 hours to devote to hair and make up on their wedding day!?!?!), and you will just be too anxious and tense about them cocking it up again. Demand your money back. If they get all arsey, say you have photographs of what they did and will be submitting a claim to the small claims court (even if you don't want to do this, this might make them co-operate).

Maryz Sat 09-Feb-13 21:05:54

I looked at your photo and thought it was a tray of cutlery blush.

I had to stare for a long time to realise it was meant to be curls.

It's awful. Sorry. And you have lovely long hair, any hairdresser would be able to do an upstyle with long waves at the back - in fact my hairdresser did an up-at-the-front-loose-curls-at-the-back demo for dd the last time we were there - he took about ten minutes to show her how she could do it herself. It was lovely.

Pandemoniaa Sat 09-Feb-13 21:08:56

YANBU to cancel. Your hair (with the greatest respect) looks most peculiar in the picture yet I am sure it is lovely in real life. But it looks greasy AND ratty in the style they've tortured it into.

The best make-up I have ever had done was at Space NK. They managed to achieve a stunning look that somehow combined being natural but absolutely transformational at the same time. Have you got a branch near you? Only they explained, very carefully, everything they did so I could copy it.

If the people you used took 5 hours to achieve such an unsatisfactory effect then they'll never manage to do the rest of your wedding party in time either. Quite frankly, you could almost certainly do better yourself.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 21:11:23

Thanks for all the feedback. I'm feeling much more confident about cancelling them.

I've just looked in he mirror, my makeup is awfully smudged. It's only been on a few hours. There is no way it will look good all day.

What you can't tell from the photos is that he put a bun ring in and then pinned the 'curls' to that. It was supposed to be half up half down and looks nothing like what I actually wanted/asked for. I will definitely be using the suggestions in this thread and looking for someone else.

mummybare Sat 09-Feb-13 21:12:05

I also had a makeup lesson at Bobbi Brown in HoF (it was great) and did my own. The products I bought cost about the same as hiring someone, but I got to keep them.

This was because the hair and makeup lady I had a trial with just got the colours completely wrong for my complexion, so I have a lot of sympathy for your situation, OP looked as though I'd had a nasty run-in with a tube of pink glitter (even when I said I'm not fond of pink, she just seemed to hone in on the least flattering shades). Although the hair was, luckily, passable and I'm not confident styling it 'prettily' myself, so I still hired her to do that.

Do you know any friends or friends of friends who are particularly nifty with a pair of tongs and might save the day?

Whatever you do, don't let these jokers anywhere near your face or hair on your wedding day.

2wwmadness Sat 09-Feb-13 21:12:48

I work in a cosmetics counter. Book a trial. Get them o teach you how to do the look you are happy with (this is all free) but the key products and practice, have a free lesson once a week if you need to, (I have do e this with a lady, I have also talked a lady through it on the phone on the morning of her daughters wedding) I would recommend bobby brown, Clarins, Lancôme or Estée Lauder for wedding make up.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 21:13:29

Maryz, I'm liking your tray of cutlery comparison!

The photo was turned for some reason when I uploaded it.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 21:16:53

I forgot to add that it was wet set with rollers like someone else mentioned up thread. He didn't want to use curling tongs as my hair is long and thick and doesn't hold curls well. So he used lots of product to 'set' the curls. Ironically, my hair looked loads better when he had taken it all down as the curls loosened.

Maryz Sat 09-Feb-13 21:19:34

Sorry, I hope I didn't make you feel bad blush

It just looked very odd when I first looked.

I think a make-up lesson is a good idea - have fun with your bridesmaid, book one in one of the department stores, and then make each other up on the day. You will be fine.

And please don't over-complicate your hair - I've seen a few brides recently (dd is a "don't tell the bride" and various other programmes addict), and most of them have lovely hair that they "do" to within an inch of its life when it would be so much nicer just looking like, erm, hair, iyswim.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 21:19:59

I will look for some makeup counters near by and get a free lesson. I have been put off this in the past after I went to the body shop for a trial. Gold eyeshadow was really fashionable at that point and she overdid it by quite a lot. I think she must have had aspirations of doing weird, overdone, catwalk makeup. It was not flattering.

Congratulations btw vodka. I hope your day is all you want it to be.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 21:23:01

grin no offence taken maryz. I think my hair looks hideous the way they have styled it. What I asked for was natural looking curls, not too beat and manicured, slightly 'messy' natural looking hair. This was his interpretation of what I asked for hmm. I can't believe he was pleased with it! He photographed it for his portfolio book that they take to wedfing fairs confused.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 21:23:27

*beat = neat

Levantine Sat 09-Feb-13 21:24:31

Bobbi Brown do a bridal makeover I think - and you can't really go wrong using their products, there is no way they would tango you.

mummyplonk Sat 09-Feb-13 21:25:23

Thread you have beautiful long hair, something like you mentioned half up and down, with a chignon at the top would look gorgeous on your hair.

Do you have a house of Fraser or debenhAms near you?

PoohBearsHole Sat 09-Feb-13 21:30:29

Thread - you poor thing, cancel them tell them it is nothing like the suggestions you gave them, if they stall on any form of refund threaten outing on mn, small claims court etc, they don't know if you will or won't but get that money back if you can and thank your lucky stars you had a trial grin

Second going for a lesson at a counter somewhere - you might even want to see if one of those girls would be free to come and do your hair!

Maryz Sat 09-Feb-13 21:36:43

In fact, if you don't do confrontation, I suggest that you write to them, enclosing photos of what you want and what you got, ask for your money back and include a link to this thread.

And assure them you will be updating us with their response (and who they are if you aren't happy with their response).

I bet they give you the money back.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 21:40:43

Thank you for saying so mummy. I've been dying to cut my hair shorter but I am waiting until after the wedding to give more flexibility for the style.

I am fairly close to Leeds and I think they have all the big name department stores. I'm on my hen weekend in Manchester next week with all my bridesmaids so might be a good chance to go makeup shopping together.

At least I have found out with time to spare. I would have been gutted if this had happened on my wedding day.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 21:45:25

I don't know, I still feel mean on them. I know they didn't provide the service I paid for but I'm pretty sure they thought what they were doing was what I'd asked for. Looking through the guy's book made me realise he only has one style with small variations in it. When I showed him what I wanted, he just did his usual style with a slant that made it sort of like but still a millions miles from what I asked for.

I maintain my right to be shock that he was so pleased with it grin.

Pelago Sat 09-Feb-13 21:46:27

Dont use them! Let the money go as the whole thing sounds unprofessional. I went to Benefit before my wedding and arranged to have them do my makeup in shop and buy products- cost me around £40. Got local salon to do hair. Not as convenient as somebody in your room on your wedding day but worked out. This is a big day for you so take control. I'm sure you will look amazing!

Lovecat Sat 09-Feb-13 21:47:56

YY to Bobbi Brown, it's just struck me that my sister went there on the morning of her wedding and had a makeover type session, she looked lovely. Clarins and Lancome counters also good for a more natural look. Avoid Dior like the plague, a girl was having her make up done there when I took my niece for a make up lesson at the Clarins counter next door, she was given turquoise and yellow eye shadow and pale pink 80's frosted lips! confused

Have a lovely wedding day, I'm sure you'll look beautiful once you've moved on from those chancers smile

thenightsky Sat 09-Feb-13 21:50:56

Threads... I cannot see a bun ring in there! Your hair looks dire sad

taking 5 hours sounds very much like a certain Bradford hairdresser (male) I gave up with as I got sick of coming out at 11pm at night, starving and suffering headache!

Is he of greek origin? (wonders if its the same bloke)

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 21:53:20

Night sky, he looks Greek but gas a Yorkshire accent. Very close to Bradford. I'm wondering if it is the same person. Name begins with 'N'?

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 21:53:55

Gas = has

Lovecat Sat 09-Feb-13 21:57:14

Oh my goodness stop being so NICE! You are paying them a lot of money for a service - a service they are patently not providing - bin them and suffer not a minute's guilt for doing so!

You are not being mean, you are exercising your rights as a consumer and, in the long term, doing him a favour - if everyone keeps on saying 'oh, that's nice' and then fleeing in tears he's going to think he's the mutt's nuts for wedding hair and NEVER change!

trixymalixy Sat 09-Feb-13 21:58:12

I went for my hair and makeup trial a month before my wedding. It was awful. The makeup made me look about 60, the hair looked like a child had done it.

I had been bridesmaid at a wedding the previous weekend and the woman who did the hair and makeup did a great job. I called her up and she did a trial and the difference was unbelievable. Thankfully she was free on the day.

If you're not happy then find someone else.

Tasmania Sat 09-Feb-13 21:58:24

I switched make-up artists, too. Not unreasonable at all...

thenightsky Sat 09-Feb-13 21:59:08

Threads... my ex-hairdresser has initials AC and works out of one of them old trendified mills. He is very 'up' himself. grin

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 22:00:54

What can I say lovecat? I am my mothers daughter grin. I've always found it hard to be brutally honest with people when I am unhappy. I was very much more vocal today than I usually am but still fell short of saying 'what the fuck have you done to me?' And walking out. Although I was very close to doing that.

You are right though. I should demand at least my deposit back. I am already dreading having to complain.

Tasmania Sat 09-Feb-13 22:01:38

P.S.: Go for make-up artists that use airbrush makeups like this. They give perfect coverage, look completely natural (you just look like a better version of yourself), and for special occasions, they often use the water-resistant make-up.

LineRunner Sat 09-Feb-13 22:01:58

That's a huge amount of money for a deposit.

I'd ask for it back. They seem to have not kept your contract anyway.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 22:03:19

Nightsky, maybe they are brothers then grin.

It is comforting to hear other people say that this has happened to them but they managed to get it sorted before the day.

trixymalixy Sat 09-Feb-13 22:04:26

Have just looked at your picture. Your hair looks like mine does when I've just come out of a swimming pool. Find someone else. I know it seems like a hassle now, but you want to feel like you look your best on your wedding day.

specialsubject Sat 09-Feb-13 22:07:53

they can't keep to time and laughed at you, the paying customer. Game over.

don't frighten your husband at the altar - if you normally do your own makeup, do it. If your normal hairstyle annoys you, get it cut into one that doesn't.

on your wedding day you should look like you with a big smile.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 22:08:57

Trixy, it's not a good feeling to know you're paying someone to make you look worse. I just kept thinking, I can do better than this.

To add insult to injury, I told him I am not the kind of person to sit in a salon for hours on end, I only go once every sux months as I hate having my hair done, and he still dragged it out for five hours.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 22:11:36

DP (can't wait put DH) loves me with curly hair so I naturally wanted to go for that style. I suppose if I kept with my current stylist it wouldn't matter if it rained. I would look the sme either way grin.

I can't believe they're hired on the basis of what they've done to your hair!

Any chance it's a 'racket' - where they take £200, make it look shit to get fired???

trixymalixy Sat 09-Feb-13 22:13:45

Sorry blush Didn't mean to make you feel bad.

Honestly it was such a relief to sack the rubbish hair and makeup people. You will find someone, they won't all be booked up. It'll be worth it in the end.

edam Sat 09-Feb-13 22:15:06

Stop being so nice! They were crap, get shot, and demand your money back. Good idea re having a make up lesson at a department store.

I did my own make-up for my wedding and it was fine, btw. Bridal glow of excitement and happiness beats any product you can mention!

MrsMushroom Sat 09-Feb-13 22:15:41

Write a letter to the owner stating that you have photographed the results of the trial and that it was so far below par that you expect a full refund of the deposit. Their work is so unprofessional that you feel the deposit has been taken unfairly as no bride would be happy with the results.

Also tell them that if they don't pay you back, you will take them to the small claims courts, the local paper and Facebook....and totally discredit them as a warning to others.

I would.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 22:16:00

Laurier, that thought has crossed my mind!

I suppose there are brides out there that do like the 'look' he was trying to create but it wasn't for me. He seems to be good at very stereotypical bridal hair, very polished and firm looking. I wanted natural and soft hair. Obviously something that isn't in his repertoire.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 22:19:45

Trixy, I was sympathising with you, you didn't make me feel bad. My hairdresser did that all on his own grin.

Mushroom, unfortunately the guy who did my hair is the manager/owner. I actually thought his assistants were doing a better job on some if the many clients that were in and out in the five hours we were there confused.

WillowKnicks Sat 09-Feb-13 22:37:11

If you are anywhere near Halifax I can recommend an amazing hairdresser, who does my hair in the most gorgeous styles every time I have a 'do' to go to. It is a small salon but she has a really good reputation. She teaches at college & has won umpteen competitons for her upstyles but more importantly she really listens to what you want.

There is a beautician upstairs but I have never used her so can't comment on her skills.

ThreadWorms Sat 09-Feb-13 22:43:34

Willow, that sounds perfect! Yes, I am near enough to halifax so if you could let me know the details (either in here or PM) I would be eternally grateful flowers.

Thread I really think you need to swallow your inner Brit and just tell them.

Try and channel a Bridezilla and either call them or email/write and tell them you are really unhappy.

I did my own hair and make up for my wedding so it was all products I was used to and I looked like me, not how they wanted me to look iyswim? I would have had someone do my hair if the budget allowed.

SugarPasteGreyhound Sun 10-Feb-13 08:03:26

Fiona at the clinique counter in hof in Leeds is v good, lovely but not pushy and v good at natural makeup but with good coverage iyswim?

The hair is awful. I'd say it's too long for heated rollers and would be better tonged, using a mousse for extra hold.

Yanbu - you'll be looking at your wedding pics for a long time, so it's important that you are happy with your look.

SugarPasteGreyhound Sun 10-Feb-13 08:05:44

Sorry that sounded dreadful! Your hair looks lovely but the style is horrible!! Unless they thought you wanted 90s style crunchy wet look curls? grin

Lambzig Sun 10-Feb-13 08:14:53

If your DP likes you with curly hair, then you have obviously managed to style it yourself or get it done elsewhere in curls, so it cant be that difficult, so that is their excuse gone. No way would setting long straight hair wet on curlers get what you were looking for.

I hope you find someone else to sort it for you.

fuckwittery Sun 10-Feb-13 08:15:22

Omg can't believe you asked for natural curls and got that?! Did he gel it to fuck? Definitely go elsewhere and second doing your own make up. I had three make up trials, tried 2 counters and a lady who came to my house - all bloody awful as they did what they thought would suit me. Wasn't me. I purchased some new products from benefit. They do some brilliant primers - I didn't often use foundation (at that time in my life I had good skin!) but it's worth making an effort with your base for your wedding day

ThreadWorms Sun 10-Feb-13 16:03:32

Thanks again to all for replying.

I have shown the pics to DP and he wasn't impressed. I will spend this week finding a new hairdresser then will be writing a carefully worded email to the team I have currently hired.

Only thing is, I spoke to my bridesmaid later on to thank her for coming but I was a little upset about what she said. She agreed that the hair and makeup was dire but felt I had been too vague with the guy about what style I wanted so it was partly my fault. I felt I had been clear and agree with the posters who say he shouldn't have wet set my hair. No hair style would have been anywhere near what I was after when he was using a method unsuited to my hair. She also didn't get why it upset me so much but it was due to the fact that I felt I had wasted so much of my time there and the money only to feel a sense of panic that I now don't have a stylist for the day. She might have a point though, lesson learned. smile

Thread... 'loose natural curls' is fairly self explanatory, you hardly needed to draw him a picture!

Maryz Sun 10-Feb-13 17:03:13

I think your bridesmaid sounds nice.

I think (reading between the lines) that she is saying "relax, it doesn't really matter", and you know in the greater scheme of things it doesn't. It's like a friend of mine who went ballistic about her dress not being ready on time (a month before the wedding). For her it was really the end of the word.

Then her fiance was in a car crash a week before the wedding. For a while it looked as though they might have to cancel (luckily he was fine; they thought he had damaged his spine, but he hadn't). It really put things into perspective for her.

I do understand your panic, but don't let it ruin the next few weeks. Your dh will love you if you turn up looking like this

ThreadWorms Sun 10-Feb-13 17:24:30

Good point maryz. I know I need to do a better job of keeping things into perspective and remembering the whole point of the day.

I always swore I would never become a bridezilla and have been so relaxed throughout, but now the pressure is on, any additional stress just makes me want to cry blush.

ThreadWorms Sun 10-Feb-13 17:26:02

Oh, love your link btw. Maybe I might look like that if we ever renew our vows because I wouldn't willingly put myself through this amount if stress again in a looong time grin.

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