To really hate this 'my fashion, family & food is so perfect' blogs on instagram?

(100 Posts)
SilverMoo Sat 09-Feb-13 18:12:48

I have just discovered the world and it is truly vomit inducing, arty instagram shots of boden clad kids frolicking with a designer dog (arty boho chic stuff in background) "Just relaxing with the family", the "A little something I rustled up for dinner tonight' (cue arty instagram shot of rustic papaya, beetroot & pine nut salad with French goats cheese), and "Oh my new £20,000 shoes have arrived, look how rich I am and how pretty they are" (Shot against distressed oak floorboards with perfectly painted toe nails peeping out".................

SilverMoo Sat 09-Feb-13 18:13:39

This? I mean 'these'... blush

GogoGobo Sat 09-Feb-13 18:14:47


Gigondas Sat 09-Feb-13 18:15:32

I have one acquaintance who does this- i enjoy it as it is so daft and if it makes her happy, it is no skin off my nose.

I really like the arty shots of her dc homework.

lockets Sat 09-Feb-13 18:16:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gigondas Sat 09-Feb-13 18:16:14

Also do you think this is a social media equivalent of a Xmas card round robin?

SilverMoo Sat 09-Feb-13 18:17:47

I just feel it's a bit "Look at me and how happy/beautiful/rich/clever/stylish/boho/trendy/arty/thin/young/hip did I mention rich & beautiful? (insert word of choice here) I am....

swooosh Sat 09-Feb-13 18:18:47

YABU to not post a link

Fakebook Sat 09-Feb-13 18:18:49

It wasn't like that before fucking Facebook took over.

Before, the popular page used to be filled with really good scenic photography. The week fb took over it all changed.

But I do agree, it's all shitty posing these days.

GogoGobo Sat 09-Feb-13 18:18:53

lockets The blogs, oh THE BLOGS angry

SilverMoo Sat 09-Feb-13 18:20:34

Would I be allowed to post links to blogs in mind?? I don't want to personalise my annoyance.

SomethingProfound Sat 09-Feb-13 18:20:38

What swooosh said!

TheFarSide Sat 09-Feb-13 18:20:54


Although I always assume there is something very bad going on in their lives that turns them into crazed Pollyannas.

HestonsFatCock Sat 09-Feb-13 18:21:21

Blogs are always all "look at me, aren't I wonderful?" aren't they? confused I don't ever read them or have any desire to read them, so my advice to you OP, is to cease and desist with blogs. They are wanky.

SilverMoo Sat 09-Feb-13 18:23:38

Ha! Yes I will desist, it also makes me a bit envy to be honest, even though I know full well I am very very happy and there is a fair chance even though they appear to be they may well not be confused

Branleuse Sat 09-Feb-13 18:25:03


Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Gigondas Sat 09-Feb-13 18:25:52

They are almost certainly not all they appear. It would seem ranting about blogs is widespread here

Branleuse Sat 09-Feb-13 18:25:56

i am not interested in your polaroided/instagrammed picture of your spaghetti bolognese

HestonsFatCock Sat 09-Feb-13 18:27:11

Course they aren't; they are a writhing mass of insecurities.

I must admit, I am waiting for a friendly viper to give me a virtual spanking for being so sweeping and direct me to a few good blogs with attidue.

DuchessFanny Sat 09-Feb-13 18:29:46

Oh dear, then I have missed the point of instagram ... Seeing as nothing in my background is perfect ( my dog might be pooing in the woodland walk for example !) my kids wear h&m and I haven't painted my nails since before Christmas !
Love the different 'effects' though - makes my shite photography passable !

SilverMoo Sat 09-Feb-13 18:38:33

BeerTricksPotter - Yah, it does doens't it? Just something I rustled in in my chic little imagination, I would post a photo of my trendy boho mind thinking it up in sepia if I could...

SilverMoo Sat 09-Feb-13 18:39:55

DuchessFanny - Ahhh! You have fallen into the trap that I initially did, thinking it was just some gadget that made your pics look different..

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SilverMoo Sat 09-Feb-13 18:51:33

When I go out and have fund with DC I rarely remember to take pics, let alone get the perfect shot with DC's looking in the right direction and then have time to edit it and do a little write up, I wonder how much time is dedicated to this?! It must make day to day life one big photo & bragging opportunity..

Bloggers = Broggers grin

HestonsFatCock Sat 09-Feb-13 19:07:05


SilverMoo Sat 09-Feb-13 19:08:32

HestonsFatCock - Ha! Yes that's a better one grin

DuchessFanny Sat 09-Feb-13 20:13:04

I actually find being in the company of someone who takes pictures constantly , adding comments to them, adding to FB reaaallly trying and worse than the end product iyswim

have a friend who is lovely, but never 'there' when we are out as she is commentating on her night out the whole time !

pleasethanks Sat 09-Feb-13 20:14:48

Two words ladies, Kelle Hampton. Lovely kids, but gee wizz woman, relax and enjoy the moment will you!

DuchessFanny Sat 09-Feb-13 20:14:49

silvermoo i swear i look better in sepia ( and at an angle )

propertyNIGHTmareBEFOREXMAS Sat 09-Feb-13 20:17:09

Nothing better than a good blog if you are in the mood for a laugh. I have several I check out regularly just to have a smirk at the self indulgent content and photos. Long live the blog!

Dylanlovesbaez Sat 09-Feb-13 20:19:11

I was just talking to dp about this! I use Instagram for friends to see pictures of my daughter as I don't trust Facebook privacy settings. But now bloody hell-those frigging mommy bloggers with kids in stripes, perfect baby bumps, beautiful Scandinavian interiors, crafty and talented, gorgeous women with glossy hair! They all seem to home school and have kids called wolf or arrow! I'm not jealous at all! How are their homes so tidy? I only have one child but its never tidy! Sorry if this is rambling!

pleasethanks Sat 09-Feb-13 20:20:43

The pressure to stage everything and make it all 'just so' must be exhausting. I would hate it. I really do feel for the children actually.

SilverMoo Sat 09-Feb-13 20:22:04

pleasethanks - Just checked out Kelle Hampton, this is what I'm talking about!

DuchessFanny - always from above, at an angle, with light pouring through a window onto your beautiful face, then add an instagram effect, can't go wrong apparently!

SilverMoo Sat 09-Feb-13 20:23:16

Do you think there lives are really as perfect as they make out?

pleasethanks Sat 09-Feb-13 20:38:17

Nope, certainly not silvermoo. I am sure I could describe with a flourish something DD and I did and neglect to mention all the shite.

mam29 Sat 09-Feb-13 20:40:33

Kelle Hampton, loved her photos.

have love/hate thing with blog

plus a few freinds who think there blogs best thing since sliced bread yawn.

crazy american organised ones my fave.

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PoppyAmex Sat 09-Feb-13 20:42:44

My favourites are the Mormon wives blogs - so young, pretty, funky etc.

There was a brilliant article about Mormon mum blogs on but can't link on phone. Had examples of blogs too.

SucksToBeMe Sat 09-Feb-13 20:43:54

SilverMoo, YANBU and this thread is making me laugh!

PoppyAmex Sat 09-Feb-13 20:44:42

Pressed post too soon.

Anyway, salon article talked about the ambivalence we feel when we see those "perfect" lives.

I certainly know better but can't help feeling impressed.

honeytea Sat 09-Feb-13 21:10:19

I really enjoy seeing photos of my friend's families. I post between 2 and 5 photos on facebook each day, I think my children will enjoy seeing the everyday things when they are older.

DuchessFanny Sun 10-Feb-13 09:25:12

Dylan just snorted tea out at 'wolf' and 'Arrow'

Silvermoo ... suspicious we know each other as my friends and I only ever take a picture from above ( except whilst at dinner Friday a new friend took a sideways picture of me, then posted it to fb - it wasn't flattering !)

mam29 Wed 13-Feb-13 11:13:26

I have blog rage.

Some are good but most are

showy-in my opinion portraying life more perfect than it is.

self indulgent-gives the blogger some importance .

Boring I dont want itemised itinary of their day or know its blooming snowing.

The fashion ones make me chuckle as often their said outfit looks crap.

Blogs with useful advice, fighting for useful causes or campaigns fine.

Just every bored sahm mum thinks they blogger,

SamanthaStormer Wed 13-Feb-13 11:25:25

Always find it amazing the amount of vitriol poured on bloggers on Mumsnet in threads like these that crop up every now and again at intervals.
For a parenting forum like Mumsnet which actually HAS a Bloggers Network, threads like these are a bit off and scare people away from posting anything about their own blogs.
Not very welcoming or encouraging for bloggers. confused
If someone does have a cutesy pie blog, so what? You don't have to read them. Just like magazines. Don't read them if you don't like them.
As for "every stay at home mum thinks they can blog." Wow. Nice. hmm
Yes there's some shockingly crap ones at there which are badly written, but there's also some fantastic ones too.

ophelia275 Wed 13-Feb-13 11:55:20

Loads of mummy/lifestyle/fashion bloggers do this. Especially ones in the US.

Bleubird Vintage, Merry Mishap, Seventy Tree etc.

They are mummys and artists, doncha know!

MrsBucketxx Wed 13-Feb-13 12:01:13

I have a friend on fb who does this too so yanbu

she makes out her life is sooo perfect, with her shabby chic house and home made baby mobiles, baby showers with a gazillion friends.

SomethingOnce Wed 13-Feb-13 12:30:28

“The minute you start saying something, ‘Ah, how beautiful! We must photograph it!’ you are already close to the view of the person who thinks that everything that is not photographed is lost, as if it had never existed, and that therefore, in order really to live, you must photograph as much as you can, and to photograph as much as you can you must either live in the most photographable way possible, or else consider photographable every moment of your life. The first course leads to stupidity; the second to madness.”

-Italo Calvino, Difficult Loves, 1971

MrsBucketxx Wed 13-Feb-13 12:55:46

I love that.

atthewelles Wed 13-Feb-13 13:22:13

They remind of those celeb cookbooks where they're photographed in gorgeous vintage kitchens with quirky pots and dishes and their beautiful funkily dressed kids all gathered admiringly around a vintage plated sundried tomato and goats cheese tart.

Lisa Faulkner's cookbook is full of that kind of photography and snippets about how this recipe reminds me of a fabulous picnic with my famous best friends etc etc etc

I do like Lisa and think she looks amazing for a woman in her forties but the book was a bit 'look at my perfect life'.

AmberSocks Wed 13-Feb-13 13:31:04

is it only ok to talk about something nowadays if its about how rubbish your life is and how skint you are?

whats wrong with nice dogs and boden clothes and quirky houses/.i mean really?

PolkadotCircus Wed 13-Feb-13 13:47:46

I do know what you mean however I have a soft spot for Kelle Hampton,love the way she writes(she actually writes unlike many)and what she writes often makes me laugh.Have kind of fallen in love with her girls too.blush

However Soulemama can take a running jump,sorry but anybody who spins her own wool for her handmade hand knits has waaaaay too much time on their hands.I lost it a bit with her at Christmas when she posted all her Christmas handmades for teachers along with fabric wrap and pictures of her kids "elving" ie not bickering like hell the week before Christmas but busy making handmade gifts for each other.

Now she has described February as the "funky winter month"hmm I have decided it's high time I cut ties,tis hard though as it's like picking a scab,you know you shouldn't but....I don't even aspire to having a homestead so why do I put myself through it?

At least Kelle takes the piss out of herself from time to time.

Think the shit might hit the fan in the Hampton household when baby number 3 comes along though,we may see less artistic shots for a while. Going from 2 to 3 is a bit of a shock.grin

YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue Wed 13-Feb-13 14:18:51

I find them just so bland, their lives are so staged.

I think we all wish life could be perfect but it seems a bit unhealthy to actually pretend it is, to create a polished version of your life.

I wonder if a blog of my actual life would ever get read? Photos of me flapping trying to mop up spilt juice etc or rooting about in a drawer trying to find the scrap of paper I wrote the very important phone number on? I guess not.

I am also deeply dubious about how some of the kids will feel having a million pictures of themselves online for all to see when they are older.

CheerfulYank Wed 13-Feb-13 14:29:46

I don't think there's anything wrong with them, as people. I think there's something wrong when it makes others believe that they're doing something wrong if their lives aren't like that...when in reality not even the blogger's life is actually like that! It's all very posed.

I started a blog once blush but not THAT sort, and only wrote about 4 entries.

NicknameTaken Wed 13-Feb-13 15:02:27

I don't read them much but I don't see any harm in it. But how do they get their dcs to cooperate? DD(5) has firm views about whether she is willing to be photographed or not - often not, and I don't do it against her will.

Anyway, I can't rise to shabby chic domestic interiors. Shabby, yes, chic, not so much.

pudding25 Wed 13-Feb-13 15:35:04

It is just so, "Me, me, me. Look at me and how wonderful I am!" Don't get it.

curryeater Wed 13-Feb-13 15:45:58

I like all those mormon blogs. It is exactly the opposite of the sort of thing I think I would like, and weirdly, they make me feel happy. I don't know why because magazines make me feel shit (research shows that women's magazines make most women feel shit). The mormon blogs of the beautiful slim women smilingly kissing their adorable babies in stylish, only artfully-messy interiors are, oddly, uplifting to me, although they women are so much better looking and more functional and cheerful than me, and although I am a 40-something cynical old bat with a non-artfully messy house. Like SATC, though, I DO NOT GET how they all so slim when they are always eating lardy sugary stuff. Or do they just photograph it and not really eat it?

curryeater Wed 13-Feb-13 15:51:13

I suppose, cheesily, I like that they are enjoying their lives and happy to tell everyone they love their families. (I hope they are, I am sure that the whole family values thing of mormonism makes some women's lives seething hells of suicidal despair, but the ones who blog about it seem to love their lives)
I am a feminist and think women should not have to live traditional lives, but, to some extent, every woman who bears or looks after a child is up against a raw, uncompromising demand for endurance that a lot of men left behind when they came up out of the mines, and I like that there is, behind all this cutesiness, a kind of celebration of the power of the mother. I feel the opposite of "ew, she thinks she is so perfect, as opposed to me". I feel more like, "Gosh women rock! Mothers rock! We are ACE!"

YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue Wed 13-Feb-13 15:52:50

But it is all fake!

Adversecamber Wed 13-Feb-13 15:53:48

I don't know anyone that pretentious thank F**k

fromparistoberlin Wed 13-Feb-13 15:53:49

can someone link a mormon blog!!??

MamaMary Wed 13-Feb-13 15:55:38

Either these people have super-photographic toddlers and babies or they spend their lives taking a gazillion photos in order to produce perfect ones for their blogs

I suspect it's the latter or maybe my kids are just being awkward when I try and fail to catch them looking all cute

MamaMary Wed 13-Feb-13 15:56:56
SomethingOnce Wed 13-Feb-13 15:59:23

Right, I want to be a Mormon - where do I sign up. Is Donny available?

PoppyAmex Wed 13-Feb-13 16:56:22

Here's the Salon article I was talking about (re. Mormon blogs)

CheerfulYank Wed 13-Feb-13 17:01:19

The Mormons I know IRL are really happy, I have to admit. But not overly gorgeous. Except for a few.

None of them have blogs, though. smile

MoodyDidIt Wed 13-Feb-13 17:04:02


<vomit emoticon>

Feminine Wed 13-Feb-13 17:09:57

My sister instagram-ed some loo roll! anything looks good with a filter.

More arty, more loving ...more blah blah....

Theicingontop Wed 13-Feb-13 17:12:15

Oh god no, yanbu.

Cherriesarelovely Wed 13-Feb-13 17:13:31

I agree, my BF told me she had to come off Fbook because her posh friends were always posting pics on it trying to make their lives look like something out of Red magazine! It is like doing your own PR, bloody annoying!

MrsDeVere Wed 13-Feb-13 17:15:09

It amuses me to take photographs and put them on FB.
I know exactly how to make that particular few square inches look retro and scrummy. Instagram makes this sooooo easy.

I always fess up though grin

Maebe Wed 13-Feb-13 17:26:02

DP wants to watch the football tonight.

I was 'grr', but thanks to the links to these blogs.... ah, it's going to be a good night tonight!

SomethingOnce Wed 13-Feb-13 17:29:49

Like so many things, the more beautiful the contrived images, the more disappointing the multi-faceted reality turns out to be.

LeChatRouge Wed 13-Feb-13 17:33:07

You guys are not alone. There is a whole forum dedicated to blog hatred.

EmpressMaud Wed 13-Feb-13 17:34:24

There's a glut of them around, and they all seem to think they're unique and oh-so-interesting. At least the ones I've read.

mam29 Wed 13-Feb-13 17:37:45

What I cant work out though is

1)are they delusional as often some portray their blives totally diffrent to how I kno it is as when they whnge on forun then publish the latest super blog bit of a contradiction.

2)Do they do blogs to feel better about themselves?
Does making other mums feel worse abouy themselves?
if thats the case does other feeling rubbish and not as good make blooger feel smug and better?

3)Noticed many see it as huge moneymaker-yet read its hard and fulltime work to make money on blogs or they see it as start of some career if liked to a compay as often companies have bloggers talkig about nothing related to the product and I find myself thinking whats the point?

4)Agree child privacy and exposure-once published they for world to see yet how precious are some about security /privacy settings on facebook.

5)celebrity culture-some read like magazine article in ok.
Here I am relaxing with my wonderful family at bluestones.
Heres what one company gifted me, look at me in this restaurant at press launch. look at me im a mum and im not afraid to be naked.

I blame facebook as people post hour by hour status updates.

I dont blog about my mummy life as its boring, stressful and mundane no glamour here occasionally kids take good photo. occasionally they behave. Ocassionally I look less like been dragged through hedge backwards.

I have nothing against bloggers per say infact sort of set up a blog this year with purpose to advertise my small business its not all about me and my family ie lil mam lil princess -yuck!

I think they have to have useful purpose ie crafting, food something of interest other than vain overconfident writer.

Also certain degree of tact needed when yet another week you spammed with freinds new blog, saying follow me its all so desperate.

CheerfulYank Wed 13-Feb-13 17:52:05

I do love "not perfect" mom blogs, though. The ones where they admit frustration and post pictures of their filthy kitchen tables. They are My People. grin

I really ought to give blogging another's my dream to be part of the mumsnet bloggers.

SomethingOnce Wed 13-Feb-13 17:59:56

It's worth remembering that many of these blogs will be written by people working in industries where your 'personal' blog acts a showcase for certain skills (photography, web and graphic design, copywriting etc.) so the purpose is not necessarily to reflect real life.

MrsDeVere Wed 13-Feb-13 18:14:06

Fucking hell that anti blog forum has a whole thread dedicated to being vile to a woman whose child died of SIDS.


PoppyAmex Wed 13-Feb-13 20:43:22

This is all horrible. Just checked that particular forum MrsDeVere and it's shocking, both the people commenting on it but the mother involved too.

Apparently the reason they're talking about it is because they're concerned it's a hoax; as she facebook-ed the whole horrible experience almost "live" (as it happened) and is asking for money from people.

The dark side of social media. <shudders>

MrsDeVere Wed 13-Feb-13 20:48:37

I know they thought it was a hoax and maybe it is.
But they started with the bitching right at the beginning. Starting a whole thread after her child apparently died.

Horrible. Mind you that whole forum makes Mumsnet look like Fluffywuffy Love

coraltoes Wed 13-Feb-13 21:03:01

Babyccino, if ever there was a collective for smugness, it is there. oh yes photos of dinner time, which is a mélange of pasta and artisanal hand grinded pine nuts, Parmesan, oil and basil (fucking pesto). Jog on you saps.

coraltoes Wed 13-Feb-13 21:03:59

And franky some fucking hideously impractical clothing too.

coraltoes Wed 13-Feb-13 21:06:07

How to knit a snood!!! How to knit a snood?! Oh god I am ranting uncontrollably

coraltoes Wed 13-Feb-13 21:07:10

Linen party hats!!!! Oh my jeffing nora.

SparkyDudess Wed 13-Feb-13 21:19:39

Mostly I'd say YANBU,but I love Kelle Hampton,and I really admire the way she fundraiser for downs syndrome.

plantsitter Wed 13-Feb-13 21:27:11

That anti-blog forum is just people spewing vile.

I have a blog. It's ace. But of course it's self-indulgent; that's rather the point of a blog, innit?

plantsitter Wed 13-Feb-13 21:29:19

I meant bile not vile. But it is vile.

PolkadotCircus Wed 13-Feb-13 22:07:08

Yes Sparky no nastiness to Kelle she's different,loved the fight with a bush post!

curryeater Thu 14-Feb-13 09:33:30

mam29, this is the leap I don't make - I don't ever feel worse about myself looking at blogs like this, just because they have made such yummy photos I don't survey my chaos and feel bad. This is odd, because I am usually the first person to leap whining onto any excuse to feel bad, but in this case I honestly think you can choose not to - because:

- all children are gorgeous. Yours might be a bit grubby at the moment but if you faffed about with your photos like that blogger, yours would be as, or more, gorgeous. Just revel in it.
- I have never been the prettiest girl in the class. I am used to women looking better than me and it doesn't make me feel bad. I am used to other people having newer, posher stuff than me too. Now I just celebrate nice looking women and I actually like publicity for really good looking mothers because I hate that "mumsy" is used as an insult.
- They don't do any harm! It is not as if there is only a certain amount of pretty, twee joy in the world, and them making saffron tofu paella and photographing it, all overexposed with a flattering filter, dooms you to a life of findus pancakes in a gloomy artex room under fluorescent strip lighting. They haven't taken anything away from you!
- I might be a sucker, but to me they really look happy. I like happy. Is that stupid? Am I an idiot?

If they made me feel bad I wouldn't look. I haven't bought a women's magazine for about 20 years, I know what makes me feel bad and what makes me feel good. If they make you feel bad, then don't look.

plantsitter Thu 14-Feb-13 14:33:15

'a life of findus pancakes in a gloomy artex room under flourescent strip lighting'

curryeater, I think I love you.

PretzelTime Thu 14-Feb-13 15:56:40

I enjoy those happy mum blogs too. It's nice to look at their serene homes and peaceful children and nice homemade everything. However sometimes they do make me feel that I not being "frugal" and crafty enough!

YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue Thu 14-Feb-13 17:05:41

But they are fake! They are pretend. Why do you want to look at make believe, leave-out-any-bad-bits lives? They are not really like that. I dn't get it at all.

PretzelTime Thu 14-Feb-13 17:15:07

The soothing, pretty pictures?

Just like that article described, there is so much negativity around, so it's nice to see something...nice.

I understand that they only show the best parts and may actually have it really tough. I assume the best parts are somewhat real and not entirely hand-painted in photoshop.

YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue Thu 14-Feb-13 17:33:13

I guess I just don't get it, I like genuine inspiration rather than fake fluffy fairy tales.

curryeater Thu 14-Feb-13 17:41:05

Yellow, when you say they are fake do you mean that they are entirely staged (that family may not exist or live in that house) or that they are just sort of stage-managed (she does not choose to post videos of her child flailing face down, snotting on the carpet, screaming "NOOOOOO SHOOOOOES! NO SHOES MUMMY!")? Because if the latter, that isn't exactly fake. It's celebrating the moments when your child is smiling, not pretending that the above scenario never happens. I think. It's up to you. I mean when we go to parties I put my girls in clean pretty dresses rather than the stained hand me downs they might wear sometimes. Does that make us fake?

plaingirly Thu 14-Feb-13 17:41:44

This is weird but I like those Stay At Home Daughters blogs. All very sweet and lots of crafts and book reviews and photographs.

Bit weird but that makes me read them .....

EmpressMaud Thu 14-Feb-13 17:47:06

'a life of findus pancakes in a gloomy artex room under flourescent strip lighting'

"curryeater, I think I love you. "

And I!

YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue Thu 14-Feb-13 18:02:15

I think when we pretend bad/annoying/disappointing/boring things don't happen, it is fake. It is certainly not the truth.

Of course itis not fake to put party clothes on for a party. But I will bet those kids get changed before many of their 'natural' photos. That is fake.

curryeater Fri 15-Feb-13 09:58:10

Oh well it just doesn't bother me. I don't feel lied to when I read fiction. I know everything in it is made up, but on the other hand, in a more general hand-wavy sense, novels (good ones) speak a certain kind of truth, if only a general emotional truth about the author or about people in general. I don't think of these blogs are reportage, or as someone trying to lord it over me. I just sort of think "good for you" like I do when I see someone who has really pulled together a nice outfit and is smiling. I feel that even more if I happen to know her father is ill and she is overdrawn at the bank. I know she didn't fall out of bed like that but I appreciate the look all the same.

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