To not bother with Valentines Day?

(48 Posts)
wibblyjelly Fri 08-Feb-13 21:47:29

First one since DH and I have been married, but we both agree its commercial marketing, and we aren't going to buy cards etc for each other.
Aibu in thinking you don't need a special day to tell that special person that you love them?

dizzy77 Fri 08-Feb-13 21:48:22

Yanbu. We don't bother, haven't for years.

HollyBerryBush Fri 08-Feb-13 21:49:42

sad you made me lose my bet - I reckoned Monday would be the start of the avalance of valentines threads.

We dont do VD day either grin

Floralnomad Fri 08-Feb-13 21:51:05

YANBU I've been with my husband for 28 years and I think we stopped doing valentines day about 26 years ago!

FlorriesDragons Fri 08-Feb-13 21:53:09

No I don't think we are bothering much. This is an expensive year with weddings, babies and extensions so cash is a bit tight at the moment admnd we are both working like crazy. I'm sure DH won't mind and we will try to get a weekend away at some point.

IceNoSlice Fri 08-Feb-13 21:59:46

YANBU. Valentine's day is not our special day either.

But it's a special day for some couples because they choose it to be so. Some couples celebrate anniversaries of meeting, getting together, marriage etc.

I think it's good to celebrate your relationship in dome way though. A special day/evening to be together, focus on each other and focus on the important stuff. Just up to you when!

exoticfruits Fri 08-Feb-13 22:15:26

It is up to you- we have it as a special day- I like it.

specialsubject Fri 08-Feb-13 22:29:35

YANBU. We don't do cards on any occasion, seems a bit daft when you live in the same house.

traditional curry night, though.

wibblyjelly Fri 08-Feb-13 22:30:00

Curry night, good idea! smile

McNewPants2013 Fri 08-Feb-13 22:31:00

I never bother either smile

MerylStrop Fri 08-Feb-13 22:38:22

We don't buy stuff and definitely never go out
But sometimes try to have a nice supper together ie curry
Or do daft stuff like cut toast in to heart shapes

IceNoSlice Fri 08-Feb-13 22:41:06

Heart shaped toast! I like it smile

SkinnybitchWannabe Fri 08-Feb-13 22:43:23

YANBU. Im not bothering...mainly because I cannot stand my husband and the thought of sending him a card makes me feel sick.

Purple2012 Fri 08-Feb-13 22:45:02

We dont do valentines. Neither of us are bothered.

cerealqueen Fri 08-Feb-13 22:45:56

I don't believe in it and Dp can't believe his luck! We don't need valentines day to know we love eachother.

However, if i was a teenager and liked somebody I'd send a card!

bedmonster Fri 08-Feb-13 22:47:47

We don't bother either, been together too long to take any notice of that nonsensical shite! Can't imagine anything more cringeworthy that sitting in a restaurant with 20 other couples gushing and gooey eyed over candlelight either grin

bedmonster Fri 08-Feb-13 22:48:16

Oh Skinny sad

wibblyjelly Fri 08-Feb-13 22:50:35

Hope you are OK Skinny.

ihearsounds Fri 08-Feb-13 22:54:55

Nothing worse than some forced, commercialized crap. Being spontaneous is a whole lot better. My dp knows the year he starts doing vd, is the year our relationship has fizzled out cos he's just going through the motions and vice versa.

ClippedPhoenix Fri 08-Feb-13 22:57:19

YANBU. It's banned in this house since my DP bought me a card with 10 pages of shit and a stupid toy dog that looked like it had a strawberry mark hanging off its nose in the shape of a heart.

I have never ever been more insulted in my life!

grin sort of ish.

MsVestibule Fri 08-Feb-13 23:02:46

Being spontaneous is a whole lot better. This is exactly what what my DH says, along with "commercial rubbish" etc, etc. Which would be fine if he ever bought me cards, presents, made thoughtful gestures occasionally throughout the year, but he doesn't!

How many people refuse to celebrate Mother's/Father's Day in any way because they won't be told when to tell their mum/dad they appreciate them? I think it's nice to have a particular day where you buy a card and spoil each other.

bedmonster Fri 08-Feb-13 23:18:48

MsV Mothers and Fathers Day in our house is special because the DC tend to make things at school and try and cobble together a breakfast that they've planned and shopped for with the other parent. We appreciate them making the effort as it shows us they appreciate the efforts we put into parenting them iyswim.
We buy each other cards and presents on birthdays, that's enough for us.
DP and I aren't into gushy sentiment, Valentines day just seems false.

wibblyjelly Fri 08-Feb-13 23:22:39

I think that's part of the problem MrsV. You shouldn't have to have a special day to tell your parents you appreciate what they do for you.

ripsishere Fri 08-Feb-13 23:28:05

YANBU. DDs school had a thing last week where you could pay a certain amount of money and have a gift delivered by the older pupils.
I was very hmm about it all. I wanted to know where the money was going if it was supposedly for charity.
I never found out, but DD did get a bracelet. She was one of only three girls in her class to get a gift.
It was a very divisive thing to do.

We use it as an excuse to have wine on a week night!

MsVestibule Fri 08-Feb-13 23:28:23

Wibbly Of course you shouldn't have to have a special day to tell your parents you appreciate them, but I'm guessing a lot of people on this thread still buy a card/present for their parents on those days? And if so, why then, but not on Valentine's Day?

TBH, I'm not that bothered that we don't celebrate it at all, but just don't see what the difference is between Valentine's Day and Mother's/Father's Day in that sense.

Bedmonster the presents/homemade cards from young DCs are lovely, but I was thinking more of us grown-ups buying for our own parents.

wibblyjelly Fri 08-Feb-13 23:39:33

You're right Mrs V. We are made to feel that we have to buy things on these 'special days' when really a lot of them are just to make money for the card companies etc. If I could get away with not buying something for mother/fathers day, I wouldn't, but my DM would never forgive me! I guess it all depends on who the recipient is as to whether you feel you can broach the subject of 'shall we just not bother this year?'. In my case, DH is fine to have the conversation with. DM, on the other hand would result in the silent treatment for a week or 2 for daring to suggest it! smile

bedmonster Fri 08-Feb-13 23:39:36

Ah I see, well I don't usually! I did get my mum a card last year as she had suffered a horrible health setback and we were very worried she wouldn't see another mothers day/birthday/christmas so were keen to celebrate everything.
We are quite a sociable family though, have dinners with alll of us together regularly, meet up for pub lunches, walks etc lots through the year, so I suppose we all know we are appreciated. smile

wibblyjelly Fri 08-Feb-13 23:43:16

Badgers, my excuse for having wine during the week is, as long as the day ends in Y, its OK smile

carabos Sat 09-Feb-13 00:00:41

I don't know anyone over the age of majority who does bother with it.

exoticfruits Sat 09-Feb-13 08:11:10

You can be spontaneous and have Valentines Day! It isn't 'either/or'.

glamourousgranny42 Sat 09-Feb-13 08:34:56

YANBU. I don't do Valentines day anymore. When I was married we did cards etc but it was always such a chore. My childrens birthdays are either side and I was busy with those so valentines was the last thing I meeded. When we split up it was such a relief not to have to bother. When I met my new bloke I told I don't do valentines day and he's fine about it. We spoil each other at differnt times.

JambalayaCodfishPie Sat 09-Feb-13 08:39:30

YANBU. It's a ridiculously over hyped expensive day. I love and appreciate my partner every day of the year - and he knows that. grin

skullcandy Sat 09-Feb-13 08:46:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

catnipkitty Sat 09-Feb-13 08:47:16

We don't bother with any commercial stuff... DH gets a homemade card and the kids like to get involved wth various heart-based arty crafty things!

Signet2012 Sat 09-Feb-13 08:48:34

I think valentines day is a load of bollocks.
The first year we where together dp was asking which flowers I liked. I told him if it was for valentines day not to bother as I don't do romantic bollocks and I'd sooner not waste money.

On the day his work mate asked him what he had got me and he explained what I said and the whole office (all men) where shouting "it's a test its a test!! You have to buy her something it's a test!!!"

LifeIsBetterInFlipFlops Sat 09-Feb-13 08:51:09

It's a good excuse for chocolate.

We remember my late DF on valentines day. It's sad enough without being ripped off as well.

CauDyGeg Sat 09-Feb-13 08:59:09

Well exdp dumped me and Dd last week so guess we won't be taking part this year sad

wibblyjelly Sat 09-Feb-13 09:30:10

Starlight sad
Cau so sorry to hear that. Hope you are holding up OK.

exoticfruits Sat 09-Feb-13 10:03:22

* VD is for the non-parents and younger couples imho.*

I hate this idea that once you have children you are too old!

Vinomcstephens Sat 09-Feb-13 10:24:24

Ah, live and let live! DP and I have been together many years and we always buy each other a card - we don't bother with presents but will go out for a nice meal at some point. Some people think it's twee, some think it's an utter pile of shite - me, I enjoy it and will continue to do so smile

Mrsrobertduvall Sat 09-Feb-13 10:32:39

Don't bother here.
I don't do mother's day either.

Synical Sat 09-Feb-13 20:27:00 made me smile! Not sure I was supposed to. However been there, but not any longer. Saturday night lying in bed, with laptop & choc hobnobs....Valentines Day, no thanks!

ledkr Sat 09-Feb-13 20:34:11

We normally do a card and a nice dinner but I really can't be arsed either. We celebrate the day we met as our special day. Our anniversary is Xmas eve so we don't get time for that either.

TheCountessOlenska Sat 09-Feb-13 20:45:16

DH always has to work it he's Cupid but we usually have a nice meal together at some other point in the week, and he sometimes gets me some flowers. I think cards are a bit strange if you live in the same house. We make a bigger thing of our wedding anniversary.

BambieO Sat 09-Feb-13 20:51:01

I think it's nice to mark the day, it's all a load of guff granted but why not have a nice dinner and some quality time. We don't go out but we take it in turns each year to cook a nice meal and we do a card.

I know my DH loves me and vice versa so why not take any and every opportunity to show it grin also echo the wine/chocolate theory!

Fair enough if you don't do it but its only a bit of fun really

DialsMavis Sat 09-Feb-13 20:56:25

We have a nice meal and wine at home if DP isn't working and usually but not always do cards... No pressies or flowers or anything.

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