To refuse to pick dd's friend up from her dance class tomorrow?

(505 Posts)
stormforce10 Fri 08-Feb-13 12:16:31

Just had a call from DD friend's mum asking if I could pick up her DD and look after her after dance class for an hour or so as she has to take her DS to a birthday party.

Normally I wouldn't hesitate BUT last time I did that for this particular mum she turned up for her DD over 3 1/2 hours late and her explanation was that as both children were at friends she and her DH had decided to go out for lunch. No response to phone calls or text messages and I was desperately trying not to let on to her DD that I was getting worried something terrible had happened. That was 6 months ago but I was so angry with her I still haven't forgotten it let alone her DD's tears when she realised mummy wasn't coming when she said(6 years old)

I managed to say "sorry I can't we're busy tomorrow" and she's come back with a text message saying "please please please I've asked lots of people and they can't either really need someone or I won't be able to take DS to party and he'll be really upset".

What the hell do I text back now. I really like the little girl but I don't want to be taken advantage of again in this way let alone deal with the upset. I'm guessing if lots of other people can't (? won't) do it I'm not the only one she's done this to.

The "please please" would have been it for me.

No is a complete sentence.

KatoPotato Fri 08-Feb-13 12:19:45

I think you need to take her to task by way of reply and state

'Last time was ridiculous, seriously. I'll take her for an hour but don't be going swanning off again this time it wasn't ideal for anyone, including your DD.'

OTTMummA Fri 08-Feb-13 12:20:28

Just say no, it's not your problem that she has given herself a reputation is it? If you cave this time it will be harder to say no and mean it every time after this, and if you do say yes she will ask you every time because all she has to say is ' please, please, please'

MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson Fri 08-Feb-13 12:20:33

I wouldn't have her either. 3 and a half hours late takes the piss

valiumredhead Fri 08-Feb-13 12:20:35

I wouldn't because of what she did last time. Being late is fine if there is a REALLY good excuse like an emergency. She'd have burned her bridges with me. I would simply text and say sorry you can't as you are going somewhere straight after dance class.

Text back again, "sorry no, I really can't" Be firm!

HollyBerryBush Fri 08-Feb-13 12:22:10

Dont answer the text. It isnt compulsory!

I would go further than that and say:

'Last time was ridiculous, seriously. Are you surprised that you can find nobody to take your dd, seeing as you go off for hours leaving people at a lose end with your child?. No, I wont be taking her.'

Greythorne Fri 08-Feb-13 12:23:49

I would text:

"Gosh, it's a nightmare, isn't it, all the juggling we have to do! I feel for you, but unfortunately, we are utterly snowed tomorrow. Hope you find a solution. Best

GeneHuntsMistress Fri 08-Feb-13 12:24:31

Just tell the truth.

Remind her what happened last time and that you are not willing to take the risk again, you don't trust her word, and that is the end of the matter.

Why lie? The truth speaks for itself!

Well, much less confrontational.... grin

undercoverhousewife Fri 08-Feb-13 12:24:57

Her behaviour last time was so odd that I can't help thinking there may be more to it - something she hasn't told you. But neither a birthday party nor a dance class are unmissable so this is not an emergency where you would bend over backwards to be helpful. Stick to your guns until you have an explanation/ apology. It sounds like she might have burned her bridges with all her other friends too - maybe she has treated them the same way. Some people do....

valiumredhead Fri 08-Feb-13 12:25:15

I would WANT to text what quint posted but in reality I would text what grey posted - it's amazing how unreasonable people can turn things around and end up making you the bad guy.

DeWe Fri 08-Feb-13 12:25:17

I'd probably do something like say I would but she needs to be picked up really quickly as I have something to go onto that I can't take her to say, within an hour and a quarter.

Not sure I would have the courage to post what I and KatoPotato posted....

HollyBerryBush Fri 08-Feb-13 12:26:27

I just wouldnt answer the text. No confrontation at all that way.

Thumbwitch Fri 08-Feb-13 12:26:37

Hmm. If you feel sorry for her DS, then say you'll pick up the DD but only to drop her off at the party as you won't be able to have her at your house for any length of time (no explanation required).
If the party is a genuine reason, then that shouldn't be a problem (except then of course for the mum, having an uninvited child coming to the party). If it's an excuse, she won't give you the address.

If she doesn't give you the address of the party, then say No. And stick to it.

theoriginalandbestrookie Fri 08-Feb-13 12:27:01

I like Katopotatoes answer. Not sure if you are going to the dance class anyway - if so I would do it, if not then "No still busy and not after last time"

tiggytape Fri 08-Feb-13 12:27:03

I would answer the text in case you get to dance class at pick up time and poor little DD's friend's been told by her mum that she's coming with you!

ZZZenAgain Fri 08-Feb-13 12:27:06

you have already said you can't because you are busy so that is it. You don't have to elaborate. Just post again, "Sorry, I can't. As I said, we are busy tomorrow, hope you can sort something out."

Sugarice Fri 08-Feb-13 12:28:01

A 3.5 hour lunch!, did they have a crafty shag afterwards too hmm.

If you're not happy then say no you're busy.

amothersplaceisinthewrong Fri 08-Feb-13 12:29:06

I would develop sudden toothache that requires an immeidate visit to the dentist.

Why does she have to stay at the party with her DS?

expatinscotland Fri 08-Feb-13 12:29:22

She's asked lots of people? That tells you right there. Why can't she drop her son off at the party?

I would tell her no again. No 'sorry', either. 'Can't do it. Have other plans.'

Molehillmountain Fri 08-Feb-13 12:29:59

Good grief-I think it's rude to be twenty minutes late to pick up a child. Three and a half hours?!! I don't think you owe her am explanation, just a "sorry, it's not convenient". Followed by an "it's not convenient" if that doesn't work.

CloudsAndTrees Fri 08-Feb-13 12:31:04

I'm terrible at saying no to people, so while I agree with the above posters about being honest about your reasons for not wanting to look after her dd, I'd probably lie for an easy life.

I'd text back and say 'No, I can't, after dance class we are going straight to lunch with friends/my in laws house/the opticians/whatever seems plausible.'

Be blunt, she deserves it after her pathetic 'please, please' bollocks, which would irritate me enough to be firm with the no.

lockets Fri 08-Feb-13 12:31:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Sugarice Fri 08-Feb-13 12:34:11

Have you replied to her begging text yet?

manicbmc Fri 08-Feb-13 12:34:49

Just text her back and tell her she's unreliable and you are busy.

bigbadbarry Fri 08-Feb-13 12:35:31

For me it would slightly depend whether she ever returns the favour - has she had your DD to play or for tea or anything? If so, I might ut I would have to mention last time. If no, no way and I would just stick with sorry we are busy. Why can't she drop her son at the party (late, if necessary) and pick her Daughter up herself?

TessTing123 Fri 08-Feb-13 12:36:25

I'm fascinated. Was she apologetic when she came back from her fabulous lunch? Sheepish? Pleased with herself? Casual? Breezy? Pissed?

stormforce10 Fri 08-Feb-13 12:36:57

No but I think I'll try Greythornes suggestion. I don't have the guts to try some of the others much as I'd like to.

I will respond though. I don't want any crossed wires on this.

Right of to copy Greythornes text into my phone - not feeling very diplomatic today so glad to have someone else to write it for me (something to do with teething ds and no sleep!)

manicbmc Fri 08-Feb-13 12:37:25

What's the betting she plans on dropping her dd at dance and her ds at the party and then buggering off again.

I'd reckon she'll be the last picking up from the party.

Scootee Fri 08-Feb-13 12:40:32

Surely her dd can miss one dance class? If the ds party is considered more important?

I would text back a very straightforward: no, I have already said that i am unable to pick up your dd.

These sorts of people will continue to piss take if people let them. I have been the victim of one of these people, horrible woman. I had to cut contact with her to stop her begging me to do stuff which was unnecessary. This woman begs people to have her child and then fabricates excuses as to why she cannot pick them up. Thereby forcing you to keep them. Don't get involved!

Her dh ought to be able to deal with one of the kids?

TessTing123 Fri 08-Feb-13 12:40:34

She obvs didn't feel the need to make up an excuse about why she was late.

I'd at least have had the decency to concoct an elaborate lie to cover my tracks.

TheFallenNinja Fri 08-Feb-13 12:42:32

I'd tell her to bollocks for not having the courtesy to phone.

Yfronts Fri 08-Feb-13 12:58:12

I don't understand why DS will miss the party

NannyPlumIsMyMum Fri 08-Feb-13 13:00:16


She behaved unreasonably and now has to take the consequences.

NannyPlumIsMyMum Fri 08-Feb-13 13:04:13

And certainly don't make an excuse!

You don't owe her one.. Just a "unfortunately no I'm sorry I can't help tomorrow- i hope you find somebody" is enough .

BarnYardCow Fri 08-Feb-13 13:05:48

It would be a big fat NO from me, especially as it is a Friday evening, you could end up with her daughter for the weekend. Just be honest and say why.

manicinsomniac Fri 08-Feb-13 13:06:18

I'd probably give her one more chance to be honest. But I would be telling her how difficult it was last time and that it couldn't happen again.

Is she generally really crap with timings? I remember waiting outside my dance school for over an hour with my sister waiting for my dad to pick us up (the one and only time he ever got that job). We were about 10 and 12 I guess. Classes finished at 3 but we always pissed about so my Mum told to be there a bit after 3. When he arrived at 4.15 he looked genuinely gobsmacked at our complaints and said "but it is a bit after 3"!

expatinscotland Fri 08-Feb-13 13:07:10

Methinks her plan was to drop the son off at the party, have you take over her daughter, and swan off.

The whole 'take her to dance and then look after her for an hour or so' will become all afternoon.

'Can't do it. We have other plans.'

VitoCorleone Fri 08-Feb-13 13:07:22

3 and a half hours late?! What a fucking cheek.


PrettyKitty1986 Fri 08-Feb-13 13:12:02

If last time was a one off, I think yabu. Considering it was 6 months ago, it's obvious that this isn't a frequent occurance.
Why not be honest...tell her you don't mind having her dd, but you have things to do too, so she must be picked up by xx. Remind her how late she was last time and that she needs to be certain she won't be late again. You don 't have to cause a row over it, it 's just fact.
To put a blanket ban on having this girl over because of one previous is a bit mean. IMO.

I'd make it clear to the dance class teacher at drop-off that you are only picking up your DD, as she there's a possibility she may try and dump (for want of a better word) her DD with you anyway.

A total pisstaker friend did that to me once.

Pancakeflipper Fri 08-Feb-13 13:13:54

I would do it if my DD liked her DD and they were friends. But my text message would an "oK BUT don't you dare be late like last time and leave me with a sobbing child wondering where the hell you are..

If the children are not friends I would say nah.

sleepyhead Fri 08-Feb-13 13:14:45

I'd do it, but I'd remind her about last time and say that you need her to be there to collect when she says she would.

Will it put you out to have her dd for an hour after dance class, or is it just because you're still angry with her that you don't want to do it? Will your dd enjoy having her friend to play?

I would text, "I'm sorry, but I am not happy to do this, after what happened last time."

ajandjjmum Fri 08-Feb-13 13:20:22

Had she mentioned her tardiness since last time? Or invited your DD over to hers?

If not I would be open with her about how you feel.


AvonCallingBarksdale Fri 08-Feb-13 13:23:01

Let us know what happens!!

stormforce10 Fri 08-Feb-13 13:23:03

She's responded "thanks anyway, will have to take dd to birthday party too - shell be bored but never mind"

Her DS is nursery age which is why she's staying for party.

When she picked her DD up late she was really casual about it like it didn't matter either way. Had she been apologetic I might be a might more forgiving

expatinscotland Fri 08-Feb-13 13:25:43

Well, that is her lookout. She could easily drop the son off, drop the daughter off, go back to the party, pick up girl from dance, go back to party.

Thistledew Fri 08-Feb-13 13:28:52

You could offer to collect her DD and keep her until XX specific time, but if she is not collected at that time you will phone social services and have them collect her.

expatinscotland Fri 08-Feb-13 13:30:55

As it's a weekend, why can't her DH take one child? Is he working? If not, methinks she was looking for a way to dump the kids and swan off.

I see its solved, but you know I would. It's your DD friend, they have a chance to play together. I tend not to get hung up about other peoples tardiness
Or foibles. I go with, is it a hassle for me, and would my DC enjoy having their friend over?

Thumbwitch Fri 08-Feb-13 13:42:52

Oh dear what a pity for her and her DD that the DD will have to go to the party too and be a touch bored. What a shame. Blimey.

TheCalvert Fri 08-Feb-13 13:46:02

Emotional blackmail much? You've done the right thing OP!

Kaekae Fri 08-Feb-13 13:50:19

I am not a push over but I think I would help her out. If she is your friend? It was 6 months ago you last looked after her child, give her a second chance. Won't your own child enjoy the company of her child anyway?

Branleuse Fri 08-Feb-13 13:59:44

just say no! NO, just say no.

I'd say no & say after last time? You've a cheek!

tiggytape Fri 08-Feb-13 14:04:24

I tend not to get hung up about other peoples tardiness

It isn't just about being a bit miffed at having someone waltz in 3.5 hours late with no good reason though. It was about being left with a very distressed child expecting their mummy to return when she said she would and the problems this caused. If poor DD's friend is sobbing her heart out because mummy is 1 then 2 then 3 hours late, neither little girl is going to be having a nice time.

Plus most people sort this stuff out for themselves - take one child to something boring so the other child doesn't miss out etc. Fair enough if you have a reciprocal arrangement with another mum or if the favour is for something important eg a hospital scan that kids might not be welcome at - but why would anyone assume other people will run round after them on a Saturday just so one child can go to a party without boring the other child for an hour?

DuchessFanny Fri 08-Feb-13 14:06:01

* "thanks anyway, will have to take dd to birthday party too - shell be bored but never mind"*

So no big emergency then ? ! cheeky caaaaaaaah !

Woodenpeg Fri 08-Feb-13 14:07:31

I wonder why everyone else she's asked says no too?

ZZZenAgain Fri 08-Feb-13 14:09:07

I am not convinced that she has asked a whole lot of other people too. I assume she was relying on OP agreeing to help her out tbh

GingerbreadGretel Fri 08-Feb-13 14:14:38

We do loads of swaps so siblings don't have to be bored at parties but it is RECIPROCAL. Has she ever helped you?

Tasmania Fri 08-Feb-13 14:17:29

"Really sorry - can't do it. Hope you find someone else."

End of story without being too direct.

'shell be bored but never mind' FFS, she sounds like a manipulative cow. Good on you Stormforce for not being a doormat.

stormforce10 Fri 08-Feb-13 14:47:25

she's never looked after DD, never offered to have her.

She's not really my friend though I would say her dd is my dd's friend. If it was an emergency or a hospital appointment or something unavoidable I'd do it without a second thought but this isn't.

I do wonder where her dh is in all of this

manicbmc Fri 08-Feb-13 15:13:36

Her dh is right behind her saying 'let's dump the kids on some mug and bugger off out to lunch'

They are his kids too and it doesn't sound like he's adverse to giving up responsibility so he can go out.

EldritchCleavage Fri 08-Feb-13 15:22:46

Sounds like a user. If she'd at least offered an apology for last time then maybe, but if she hasn't mentioned it, it's because she's not sorry and is fully prepared to do it to you and her DD again. A woman to avoid, obviously.

Rooneyisalwaysmoaning Fri 08-Feb-13 15:24:47

Crikey. I had a feeling from your OP that it wouldn't be a massive emergenc - people who try and manipulate other parents into taking their children by saying 'he'll be so upset' or she'll be bored but never mind' are prone to asking for this sort of favour for no good reason.

She's trying to makr you feel bad so you say yes. It wasn't an emergency, he won't miss the party - she was talking rubbish from the off.

I know people like this, Oh please can you take ds/dd this afternoon as I've to be somewhere...turns out they were at the gym...

Rooneyisalwaysmoaning Fri 08-Feb-13 15:25:40

Oh and same person offering to take MY child, so she can call in the favour later, then leaving him unsupervised at her house...okay...

squeaver Fri 08-Feb-13 15:33:32

Can't BEAR people like this. I had a child to play one Saturday. She arrived at 11am. I said to the mother "See you later, like we arranged" thinking she'd get picked up at 3pm (like we'd bloody well arranged). Said to the child, at around 2.45, "Let's start getting tidied up, your Mum will be here soon". Child replies, "No, she's coming at 6.30". And she did.


Whocansay Fri 08-Feb-13 15:38:15

I wouldn't text anything else. You've said no. Frankly, after that last nasty attempt at emotional blackmail, I'm amazed you didn't tell her to fuck off. Cheeky bitch.

I have distanced myself from a similar user.

expatinscotland Fri 08-Feb-13 15:43:04

Yeah, that passive aggressive response would be the nail in teh coffin for me.

stormforce10 Fri 08-Feb-13 15:45:59

Oh FFS another text

"DD really does not want to go. Any chance you can change your mind. We'd be so grateful"

Have just texted back "no like I said before we're not available. Hope you find someone to help"

Have a horrible feeling she's going to ask me again if she sees me when I drop dd off for ballet and she'll do it in front of the girls so they get excited about it and both get upset when I say no (take it from me she's that sort of person)

ZZZenAgain Fri 08-Feb-13 15:46:58

drop your dd off earlier than usual

expatinscotland Fri 08-Feb-13 15:47:02

Then send your DH to drop her off if you don't have the bottle to tell this cheeky mare NO.

expatinscotland Fri 08-Feb-13 15:47:33

She has a husband. Does he work at weekends? This isn't your lookout.

ZZZenAgain Fri 08-Feb-13 15:47:55

you have told her twice that you cannot do it, so this is getting rude IMO. I really don't think she has asked anyone else.

EldritchCleavage Fri 08-Feb-13 15:48:55

Well, I would make your texts a bit more terse, so she gets that you're not going to do it, ie. not saying "Hope you find someone to help".

And I would pre-empt her: tell your DD you aren't having the other girl over today before you get to ballet.

Sugarice Fri 08-Feb-13 15:54:49

Oh no, what a pushy madam! shock

Stand firm storm and don't let her ambush you.

Rooneyisalwaysmoaning Fri 08-Feb-13 15:58:09

shock Seriously, she tried again? What does it take to get the word 'no' through to her!

fiddlemethis Fri 08-Feb-13 16:00:05

my word, you are so patient!!! She's more concerned about not putting out her dd and making her stay for the party than putting you out!

McKayz Fri 08-Feb-13 16:03:20

Tell your DD that you are busy tonight. So the other girl can't come. And drop off early if you can.

manicbmc Fri 08-Feb-13 16:04:26

You have got to spell it out for her - you are not going to do this. You have plans and she took advantage the last time and didn't even apologise. You are not a free babysitting service.

LifeofPo Fri 08-Feb-13 16:06:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

stormforce10 Fri 08-Feb-13 16:08:56

That's bl**dy well it. I've lost my rag. I've got smoke coming out of my ears. Another f*cking text

"Oh dear I'd told dd you'd probably have her she was really looking forward to it"

I've just texted back

"If you'd been even slightly apologetic when you were over 3 hours late and your dd was sobbing I might consider it this time but you weren't. NO MEANS NO. Find some one else and for your own sake pick up on time"

Ummm I'm going to regret that aren't i?

Fuming, I've been as patient and nice as I can be and she's pushed me over the bl**dy edge.


pigletmania Fri 08-Feb-13 16:09:34

I wonder why nobody else can do it hmm. Mabey this is a habit. No no and double no your busy sorry

bigbadbarry Fri 08-Feb-13 16:09:40

If her DS is nursery age then he is really not going to notice if he misses a party, if it is that big a deal for her DD to go too. She is very rude. Do prime your DD before ballet drop off (and possibly tell her how rude it is to keep on at somebody when they have said no!)

bigbadbarry Fri 08-Feb-13 16:10:14

Yay! Cross post. Good for you. When I read your last message I thought she had already told her DD smile

ZZZenAgain Fri 08-Feb-13 16:10:25

don't worry, what is done is done

She has a nerve telling her dd that you will probably take her AFTER you told her twice that you could not. She sounds like a right pain

MrsLouisTheroux Fri 08-Feb-13 16:11:41

Wow!! She's persistant!! If you do see her have something to 'rush home for' after dancing.

McKayz Fri 08-Feb-13 16:11:45

Well done you!!!

What a cow to tell her DD when you'd said no.

MusicalEndorphins Fri 08-Feb-13 16:11:48

Well done! I am proud of you. You did the right thing. I bet a lot of woman reading this cheered when they read what you told her.

redexpat Fri 08-Feb-13 16:12:00

Well done you!

ZZZenAgain Fri 08-Feb-13 16:12:55

wonder if she will text again promising that this time she will be punctual

Gigondas Fri 08-Feb-13 16:13:06

Way to go op -being honest is good as I really can't get past her poor dd being upset .

manicbmc Fri 08-Feb-13 16:13:15

Don't regret it. You had already said no and she went and told her dd yes. What if you had actually had a family do arranged or a sick relative to visit? Would she have expected you to drag her dd along?

What an utter entitled cow!

MrsLouisTheroux Fri 08-Feb-13 16:13:16

Xpost!!! Well, your last text will have got the message across! grin
Has she replied?!

pigletmania Fri 08-Feb-13 16:14:03

Well done cheeky cow. You really needed to be very direct with her as more subtle methods were not working

Sugarice Fri 08-Feb-13 16:14:28

Well done for putting her straight.

How dare she assume she could manipulate the situation to suit her.

What a cowbag!

squeaver Fri 08-Feb-13 16:14:36

Well done.

DuchessFanny Fri 08-Feb-13 16:15:43

So rude !!

Absolutel brass neck of her, good text response btw !

ihearsounds Fri 08-Feb-13 16:15:52

I would not be very honest and tell her the truth. You dont want to becasue she is a piss taker with mo concept of time. and mo respect of oter people amd especially not her dd. The last time she was very upset and you are not prepared for this to happen again.

If you give in, be very clear she fucks up and is late she can collect her child from the police station because you will consider her abandoned.

Bearbehind Fri 08-Feb-13 16:16:09

What a bitch. Don't worry about the text you've sent, it was spot on.

She is trying to blackmail you by making you feel bad. If she really had told her daughter that she was totally in the wrong as she had already told her daughter she would have to go the the party with her brother as you had already said no.

If she then told her daughter you'd have her, when you had twice said no, she has to deal with it (shame for the daughter though)

Flisspaps Fri 08-Feb-13 16:17:43

I love you.

Please don't regret sending it.

She's clearly got the hide of a fucking rhino. I doubt even that text will put her off asking again in about an hour.

Magdalenebaby Fri 08-Feb-13 16:19:19

Well done!
Marking place here to see if she replies!

Sugarice Fri 08-Feb-13 16:19:50

Don't back down, you are not responsible for sorting her childcare arrangements out.

slatternlymother Fri 08-Feb-13 16:19:51

Been lurking on this thread being angry for you OP. I've been taken advantage of too; she sounds horrible.

Well done for texting that back! I hope she has the decency to look embarrassed. It's hardly your fault she's promised something she can't deliver! That's just another show of her poor parenting.

Well done for sending that text, Stormforce. She needed telling.

Well done! I don't think I've ever seen such a fab outcome on a thread!

So proud of you!

I did cheer!!! Well done. Sometimes these people need to be told the truth, they'll never change otherwise.
Don't back down now!!!!
Woohooo - you go!
Love it!

manicbmc Fri 08-Feb-13 16:23:19

Give it half an hour and she'll either try more guilt tripping or she will send you a tirade saying how upset you have made her and what a bitch you are.

pluCaChange Fri 08-Feb-13 16:24:01

I'm going to regret that aren't i?

Why would you regret it? Surely you'd only regret her taking advantage of you, again!

FeckOffCup Fri 08-Feb-13 16:25:40

Fucking hell, the nerve of some people, you're a better person than me OP as I would have told her where to go after the first begging text when you had already said no. Well done for sticking to your guns.

giraffesCantEatNHSPotatoes Fri 08-Feb-13 16:25:43

Well done what a manipulative bitch!!!!

HecateWhoopass Fri 08-Feb-13 16:25:51

Bloody well done! I was WILLING you to tell her the truth. And you did.

Good for you.

giraffesCantEatNHSPotatoes Fri 08-Feb-13 16:26:17

After reading your first message I thought well no? Wonder no one else will have her!

Whoo! Awesome text, op! Shit, I was late by ten minutes once and couldn't stop apologising- three hours is inconceivable.

TakingTheStairs Fri 08-Feb-13 16:27:22

Good for you! Please do let us know what happens as I'm really nosy

TheMightyLois Fri 08-Feb-13 16:27:39

Wow, well done! I'm impressed!

The only reason people get away with behaviour like this is because people let them. She needed telling grin

(Do update with her reply thougj, won't you grin )

jumpingjackhash Fri 08-Feb-13 16:27:43

Good on you! If you hadn't been so clear, I bet she'd just keep pestering you on this and put you in a really awkward situation on the day.

EldritchCleavage Fri 08-Feb-13 16:28:33

Oh, excellent. Now stand firm if you get another text trying to guilt you over being so blunt. In fact, no need to answer any more texts I think!

LifeofPo Fri 08-Feb-13 16:29:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

VenusRising Fri 08-Feb-13 16:29:38

Well, I hope you won't regret losing your rag.
Just think you'll be painted as the bad mum now to her DD.
Hope this doesn't affect your Dds relationship.

Make sure you DO have something nice to do to with your DD, just the two of you!

Good luck with it.
In my mind you are right to set your boundaries after the last breach.

I also have a mum who turns up at 8 pm to pick up after a play date - five hours later......
I've told my Dd that we can't have her friend Y over again as her mum is so late to pick up and it's too disruptive, to what we need to do - like, BED TIME!!!

I encourage my Dds relationship with her friend though - its not her fault that her mum is a ditz/ lazy caaah who doesn't want to be with her, and happily farms her out.

Some mums, eh?!

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Fri 08-Feb-13 16:29:42

Well done, it needed saying!

Kbear Fri 08-Feb-13 16:30:08

That was the best response to a text EVER. Well done.

IsItMeOr Fri 08-Feb-13 16:30:11

Well done OP, totally warranted blunt response from you.

I can't even begin to imagine what would have to be going on for a parent to turn up over 3 hours late to collect their child and not apologise profusely. All I can figure is alcohol/drugs, but I've led a pretty sheltered existence.

Whocansay Fri 08-Feb-13 16:31:22

I'd have a word with the dance teacher, just in case she decides tomorrow that she's 'forgotton' you can't have her.

She's an utter, self centred, bitch. She clearly wants to ditch the kids and do something else. Tell her to pay for childcare. And then tell her to fuck off.

GoSuckEggs Fri 08-Feb-13 16:31:36

WELL DONE!! i was hoping you would tell her the truth!

Stand firm, she is unbelievable!! SO rude, you were FAB telling her the truth!

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Fri 08-Feb-13 16:33:21

Well that told her grin She's taking the piss and you did the right thing. Might be awkward next time you see her though...

BinarySolo Fri 08-Feb-13 16:35:27

Hurrah! Great response.

Arithmeticulous Fri 08-Feb-13 16:35:29

Whoop whoop <does circle dance>

I get itchy teeth if someone is 30 mins late for pick up. Three hours would make me spitty.

Arithmeticulous Fri 08-Feb-13 16:35:59

Whoop whoop <does circle dance>

I get itchy teeth if someone is 30 mins late for pick up. Three hours would make me spitty.

valiumredhead Fri 08-Feb-13 16:38:41

Ha ha ha ha ha nice one OP grin

Flisspaps Fri 08-Feb-13 16:39:21

It's been half an hour, I reckon the next guilt trip 'pwetty pwease, I'll never every do it again, I'm really sowwy and DD is sobbing' text will come soon

Pickles101 Fri 08-Feb-13 16:39:37

OP you are awesome.

manicbmc Fri 08-Feb-13 16:39:52

That's what I reckon too, Flisspaps.

conkercon Fri 08-Feb-13 16:40:12

OMG I cannot believe she text again after you had said no twice. I just cannot believe the brass neck of some people.

When my kids were little I never said anything in front of them and the other child until I had checked things with the parents first. In fact I was still mortified a few weeks ago when I said DS2 who is 15 could have his friend for a sleepover. The mum is a really really close friend of mine as well and the same night we were going out. I had totally forgotten that a couple of weeks before she had told me that she was banning sleepovers for a while because her DS always ended up like a wet rag for the next couple of days.

It was only when we met up in the pub I remembered and could not stop apologising as I had put her in a bad situation. Her son did sleepover that night and she is still my close close friend smile

Perfect answer!

bigbadbarry Fri 08-Feb-13 16:42:58

No, no apology. She will tell her daughter that you have changed your mind and don't want her to come (to make her sad). I suggest you brief your daughter to know that she can't come because her mummy doesn't pick her up.

ohfunnyhoneyface Fri 08-Feb-13 16:43:51

I NEED to know her reply!

Well done you and don't feel bad! She clearly doesn't care!

DameFanny Fri 08-Feb-13 16:43:55

Nosey placemark for developments.

Stick to your guns OP, you're doing brilliantly so far grin

Greensleeves Fri 08-Feb-13 16:44:37


Still18atheart Fri 08-Feb-13 16:45:22

Place marking as I'm dying to find out what she replies with. And how this drama unfolds.

Wish I had your guts

lougle Fri 08-Feb-13 16:47:58

shock well...that told her!

Good for you! Well done on putting her straight and refusing to be a doormat!

HecateWhoopass Fri 08-Feb-13 16:51:46

Can I start a book?

I'm so sorry, I'll never do it again, we were so stressed... and some sort of reference to relationship problems that could only be solved by going out for dinner. (6/1)

You're so mean, how can't you understand, you're so selfish (4/1)

Out and out verbal abuse (10/1)

No further contact at all, including blanking in the playground (3/1)

Bitching about the OP to other mums (evens)

Daughter is sobbing and thinks you don't like her (5/1)

Simply telling the teacher that you are collecting, giving them your number and not showing up (20/1)

NewFerry Fri 08-Feb-13 16:52:04

Another lurker popping up to say well done op

stormforce10 Fri 08-Feb-13 16:52:39

sorry to disappoint all you place markers but no response yet.

DP says he'll take dd to and from ballet tomorrow smile

StuntGirl Fri 08-Feb-13 16:52:57

Hecate grin

Well done OP what a fab text!

thefarmersintheden Fri 08-Feb-13 16:54:20

Well done OP!

MavisGrind Fri 08-Feb-13 16:55:16

Well done OP! It would be interesting to speak to other mums to see if she's done this to anyone else <stirs>

Hecate ill put wine on the last one, her lying to teacher.

Still18atheart Fri 08-Feb-13 16:55:47

HeCate my moneys on the relationship problem had to go to "lunch" to sort it out option

Astley Fri 08-Feb-13 16:56:02

Wonderful! I'm on the end of doing this with a total piss taker.

I vite she'll blank you from now on which in my book would = result grin

McKayz Fri 08-Feb-13 16:56:41

I am going for the second one.

TheMightyLois Fri 08-Feb-13 16:56:44

I reckon she'll reply and somehow blame the OP, or have some insane reason why she was so late picking up last time.

squeaver Fri 08-Feb-13 16:56:44

Another one for Hec's list

Her dd saying to yours "Your Mum won't let me come to your house"

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Fri 08-Feb-13 16:56:57

Well done OP! It can be really difficult to stand up to people, but you have done the right thing.

I once had a friend be 5 hours late to pick up her daughter. She didn't ring or text, and then when she did turn up to collect her, didn't thank me! I was gobsmacked.

PORRIDGEANYONE Fri 08-Feb-13 16:57:20

Yaaaaayyyyy for Op, you've got balls that is for sure !!! I can't wait to know her answer now !

squeaver Fri 08-Feb-13 16:57:43

Just realised that was one of the options... Sorry Hecate.

manicbmc Fri 08-Feb-13 16:57:54

My money is on blanking and bad-mouthing.

HecateWhoopass Fri 08-Feb-13 16:57:54

She already gave that, Lois - she had gone out for lunch with her husband!

Text her back right now demanding a response as mumsnet is waiting. If you do, I'll change my bet hecate to blanks op in playground.

Fantastic response. With a hide that thick she really needed telling!

WannabeWilloughby Fri 08-Feb-13 17:01:50

well done stormforce on standing your ground!! smile

Greensleeves Fri 08-Feb-13 17:02:50

I reckon tears, and a torrential overshare of crap about her life falling apart and how hard it all is.

Like Alexa's mum on Outnumbered.

Still18atheart Fri 08-Feb-13 17:03:24

nah if she realises mumsnets avidly following, will be the bitching to other mums option

BlueberryHill Fri 08-Feb-13 17:04:39

I think that she wil badmouth you to other parents, who will all think 'Yes!!! Well done' as she will have pissed them all off before on playdates.

iwantavuvezela Fri 08-Feb-13 17:06:04

Hecate I like those odds smile

FelicityWasCold Fri 08-Feb-13 17:06:07

Well done OP- Hold firm.

Chandon Fri 08-Feb-13 17:08:00

I have had this situation.

I just repeated " no, it is not convenient" to any further self-invitations. She did send a few" DS is sat here in tears, I said YOU would explain to him why he cannot come to his friend's house", which I ignored.

After a while she pretended it all never happened and moved on to some new suckers. She is running out of suckers in the village now, though 1 poor lnely mum still runs aroudn with her kids on a regular basis...

I reckon she will be thinking of a new way of playing you, for her it is all a game, I bet she laughs at how she manipulates people whenever it is successful...your text must have been a shock!

We had a sleepover for DD1's 6th birthday, 3 friends staying over. The invitation clearly asked for collection before 9:00 as we have to get the DDs to Sunday School. The other children were duly collected well before 9:00, but one child was still there at 9:30, the time we need to leave. I phone the mother (who lives around the corner) and asked when she was coming. She actually sounded surprised and asked if I wanted her to come and get her DD. Um, duh, YES! Then she asked when!!!!! We told her not to bother, we headed out to Sunday school and DH took the poor child home while he took the dogs out for a walk.

Yes, 9:00 is a little early, but we'd already had the children over for several hours by then, and if they knew they couldn't get out that early, they should have declined the invitation.

expatinscotland Fri 08-Feb-13 17:11:59


Fantastic reply. I hate parents who do the dump and incommunicado routine

I'd put good money on a combination of verbal abuse and bitching behind ops back.

bottleofbeer Fri 08-Feb-13 17:18:41

I have a friend who has a bit of a tendency to do this.

She'd ask if her daughter could sleep over, I'd say yes. Daughter would be dropped off about noon on the day of the sleepover and not be picked up till seven-ish the following evening. Maybe it's just different ideas about what sleepovers entail. To me it's dropped off after tea and picked up about lunchtime the next day, this felt more like a weekend break than a sleepover. What would annoy me about the fact it took up almost a whole weekend was there was never the consideration that we might have had plans and taking the whole of the next day too was just an absolute piss take. I just said no in the end and I get the feeling it wasn't just me because another friend of hers was also just saying no without any particular explanation. Also the kid is a vegetarian and we're not so it'd include making separate meals for her.

McKayz Fri 08-Feb-13 17:25:37

I want her to reply!

ChasedByBees Fri 08-Feb-13 17:27:44

So glad you were honest in your reply. She'll just keep taking the piss otherwise.

expatinscotland Fri 08-Feb-13 17:31:49

I can't imagine dumping my child like that.

zipzap Fri 08-Feb-13 17:41:07

Excellent text op! Can't wait to see how she responds.

Hope you're planning on briefing your dd really well before she goes to ballet in case the dd is there and wants to be nasty to your dd or still thinks she's coming or whatever. Or if that doesn't happen then ready for school on Monday.

Do you think she actually bothered to ask anyone else?

I can't imagine many other mums would do anything other than exactly what you did given the circumstances (apart from those who like me might not have been brave enough to send your text but wished they had!)

<crosses fingers and wishes very hard that other mum is an MNer>

She had that coming, right from "please, please".

If her child is upset, it's of her mums making, not yours.

Scootee Fri 08-Feb-13 17:54:06

Well done op.

If she bitches about it, it's likely the other parents already know what she's like and will be in awe of you.

That's usually the problem with this kind of person - people are so polite, saying they are busy etc instead of roasting the dumping mum for their behaviour. There is one at our school, making her way through everyone there. People walk away when she approaches.

maddening Fri 08-Feb-13 18:01:50

The woman know's no bounds! Well done on the text - it sounds like she's burnt her babysitting bridges with everyone she knows!

onyx72 Fri 08-Feb-13 18:06:24

OP - you deserve these!


NigelMolesworth Fri 08-Feb-13 18:06:35

OP you are brilliant!

BluelightsAndSirens Fri 08-Feb-13 18:13:56

Well done.

DeafLeopard Fri 08-Feb-13 18:15:23

thanks well done OP

Cortana Fri 08-Feb-13 18:15:40

Bloody hell she's got a brass neck. Well done OP.

Bobyan Fri 08-Feb-13 18:19:53

Your last text OP has made my day! Sad aren't I? grin

TweedSlacks Fri 08-Feb-13 18:19:55

Didnt she say "We'd be so grateful if you could look after DD for an hour or so"
Who is the we ? Mrs Pushy and her DH possibly. So any reason not to drop the DD back at hers then?
Well done for saying no , and explaining it in no uncertain terms as to why you you said no.
Maybe though Mr Pushy refuses to look after his children at weekends alone , or ferry them to and from . Unlikely, but not impossible if he works 'so hard ' all week.. just a thought

MechanicalTheatre Fri 08-Feb-13 18:20:42

Wow, nice one on the text front OP!

Cheek of some people.

comingintomyown Fri 08-Feb-13 18:23:39

I had a friend like this , she only did it to me once but the others in our circle allowed her take the mick over and over again. She's a lovely woman but just off the scale on that kind of thing grin

I bet the friend doesnt respond


giraffesCantEatNHSPotatoes Fri 08-Feb-13 18:36:45

That is the only language she will understand

TheSecretCervixDNCOP Fri 08-Feb-13 18:42:20

Good on you OP, cheeky how many times she texted you! Bet she's bottled texting you back as she's realised you aren't the mild mannered complete pushover she had you down to be!

TheTroubleWithTribbles Fri 08-Feb-13 18:44:08

Lurker marking my place for any further developments smile

FlowerTruck Fri 08-Feb-13 18:46:31

I need her to reply.

Coconutty Fri 08-Feb-13 18:48:16

Send it again OP in case she didn't receive it.

And then we you might get a reply.

What a cheeky cow!

Euphemia Fri 08-Feb-13 18:52:26

Good grief talk about thick-skinned!

<utterly lame attempt at contributing to thread, in fact just marking place>

HollaAtMeBaby Fri 08-Feb-13 18:56:58

woo! marking place as well grin

IceNoSlice Fri 08-Feb-13 18:57:06

Well done OP.

Hecate - love it! grin my money is on the blanking.

I reckon I would have been a bit like you with this. Skirting the issue at first and trying not to offend, then getting cross when she didn't take the hint started extracting the urine
DS is only 6mo but I am taking notes for future babysitting/sleepover/parties etc (not literally).

TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Fri 08-Feb-13 18:57:39

Well done.

DontmindifIdo Fri 08-Feb-13 19:04:21

Love it! Marking for updates tomorrow...

Hissy Fri 08-Feb-13 19:07:38

Aw... Look what Mumsnet did! Another TerribleC*nt is vanquished!

[proud] [hanky]


sittinginthesun Fri 08-Feb-13 19:09:26

Wow, this thread has moved on since I peeked in earlier! Well done OP.

lljkk Fri 08-Feb-13 19:10:51


anonymosity Fri 08-Feb-13 19:12:38

She's taking the piss. You can quite fairly just say "sorry, its a no"
I'd say she blew her chances last time, didn't she?

Euphemia Fri 08-Feb-13 19:14:33

I love the way the OP went from:

I'm going to be super-polite.
I am being polite.
FFS woman take a fucking hint, can't you?!


manicbmc Fri 08-Feb-13 19:15:05

I just want to see if she tries to palm her dd off on your dh tomorrow.

Is he well briefed about what to say?

PeppermintCreams Fri 08-Feb-13 19:18:13

How rude! marks place

GreatBallsofFluff Fri 08-Feb-13 19:20:32

Cheeky mare. I would never tell DD about going to a friend's unless it was set in stone.

Well done OP. grin

GingerbreadGretel Fri 08-Feb-13 19:28:54

Well done!

CheerfulYank Fri 08-Feb-13 19:32:27


whoop whoop!

i am punching the air! not my style. yeeeeehaaaaaa

ZenNudist Fri 08-Feb-13 19:35:12

Very impressed with your last text. I think you're going to need to discourage that friendship for your dd. that woman has a brass neck, shame she made you spell it out for her.

EndoplasmicReticulum Fri 08-Feb-13 19:36:53

I like it when these threads have a happy ending. Too often, the piss-takers get away with it.

Kafri Fri 08-Feb-13 19:39:44

This is great entertainment! Good on you OP. I rarely read the whole of a long post, but had to read this. and mark place

MidnightMasquerader Fri 08-Feb-13 19:52:59

Well done!!

I wonder if she will say anything to your DH?

SuffolkNWhat Fri 08-Feb-13 20:05:39

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

diamondee Fri 08-Feb-13 20:10:11

Well done you for not backing down

I've just read this thread and my jaw dropped to the floor when I read what that mum had texted. Well done for that response, might be a good idea for your DH to warn the dance teacher that he is not collecting this child.

Well done OP grin grin

LemonBreeland Fri 08-Feb-13 22:42:55

Just read this thread. Wow she is seriously rude! She really was not taking the hint was she.

Loving Hecates book. grin

Mimishimi Fri 08-Feb-13 22:49:05

YANBU. So much so that I really would come up with other plans if I were you. If you do take her DD, it's highly likely she will stay at the party or do the same thing with her husband again (since both kids are taken care of).

OpheliaBumps Fri 08-Feb-13 22:59:24

Wow she's unbelievable, well done OP!

MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson Fri 08-Feb-13 23:10:06

Well done OP!

I have come across a couple of mums who are pushy like the woman you know, and I often wonder what possesses someone to be like that. Is it that they were spoilt as children and want to be spoilt in adulthood? Do they just lack social awareness and lack respect for other peoples' boundaries? I really am intrigued. There is a woman at my DCs school who is constantly a forcing others to look after her child arranging playdates for her DD at other peoples' houses. She is very forceful and pushy, and lots of people complain about her but very few ever say no to her.

Mimishimi Fri 08-Feb-13 23:17:09

OK, having now read the rest of the thread ... Woo hoo! That is exactly what you needed to text her and why she has not replied. She will doubtless move onto someone else now. Haven't had your exact situation but similar years ago when DD1 was little where people I only barely knew were asking me to look after their kids because at the time I was home and obviously had nothing better to do with my time than take care of their childcare emergencies. confusedThey were always on time picking up though so it probably went on longer than it should have - I was also more 'helpful' when I was younger. They even referred their friends whom I knew from Jack! It all came to a nasty head when they begged me to look after their sick child. I wish I had responded like you though, would have been very satisfying but that was in the days before text and I don't think I could have mustered the courage over the phone. Of course, they completely blanked me out after that ...

EduCated Fri 08-Feb-13 23:19:54

Marking my place for the fireworks any further developments. Good work, OP grin

ZacharyQuack Fri 08-Feb-13 23:26:13

<Blatant place-marking>

NopeStillNothing Fri 08-Feb-13 23:30:02

People aren't really like that though are they?! Like, not in RL shock

Mimishimi Fri 08-Feb-13 23:45:57

Nope: Do you really need to ask if some people are just users? grin

Thumbwitch Sat 09-Feb-13 00:20:40

stormforce, you are an absolute star! Well done for not backing down, and for giving it to her with both barrels. Chances are she never even realises how rude she is being because no one tells her (she obviously can't work it out for herself!) so it's a good wake up for her.

Glad your DP is helping out by taking your DD to dancing tomorrow though, that will save a lot of bother.

Can't believe the utter gall of the woman, to have told her DD something would happen when she'd already been told herself that it wouldn't - that's just evilly manipulative.

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Sat 09-Feb-13 01:01:40

Nope presumably the OP lives in RL grin

Well done stormforce

<blatent place marking>

chipmonkey Sat 09-Feb-13 01:11:50

Well done stormforce! You have all the courage I lack!

JaneLane Sat 09-Feb-13 01:12:43

Well done stormforce!

I actually did a little victory dance around my bed when I read the text you sent back with ensuing strange looks from my DH...

KatieMiddleton Sat 09-Feb-13 01:26:11

My money's on mrs OverEntitled throwing some passive aggressive guilt tripling about the op's massive over reaction to a non-event that happened ages ago and it isn't fair to punish the children now.

Good luck op

KatieMiddleton Sat 09-Feb-13 01:26:49

<manly clap on the back for support>

oohnewshoes Sat 09-Feb-13 01:45:47

Well done op--marks place--

GiraffesEatPineapples Sat 09-Feb-13 02:24:34

she sounds like the take advantage friend in outnumbered....

Jacksmania Sat 09-Feb-13 02:43:03

Another blatant lurker here. There's got to be another instalment to this. No way TerribleCuntMum#2 is going to let this go.

Astelia Sat 09-Feb-13 02:54:04

Well done OP, and make sure DH knows the full story and doesn't get lumbered.

Mimishimi Sat 09-Feb-13 03:13:21

Ahh yes, I am fully expecting that we will hear a tale from the OP tomorrow about how dancemum laid it on thick and heavy, batting eyelashes and all, for her DH to take the DD anyway grin. What Outnumbered episode was the 'take advantage' friend in?

MerryCouthyMows Sat 09-Feb-13 03:29:35

Is there any particular reason she can't take her DS to the party while she has her DD? As a Lone Parent to 4 DC's, I fail to see why she can't take her DS, drop him off, and then pick him up after the party? Is he under 4yo? If he is, and she would have to stay, why on earth can't she ring the party host and ask if it ok to bring her DD? If it is in one of those soft play places, she can take her DD anyway and just pay the usual entry price and buy her DD some food while the DS is having party food, surely? It's what I have to do.

Next weekend, I have to get DS2 & DS3 ready and out of the house by 8am in order to catch 2 buses to get DS1 to a party. It didn't even cross my mind to ask anyone else to look after them. It's just what you do?!

Mimishimi Sat 09-Feb-13 03:42:31

And I've never been to a toddler party which my older DD did not enjoy. Even now at twelve years.Chips, fairy bread, cupcakes and sweets. Ptobably older siblings whom she can chat with. What's not to like when you are barely out of early childhood yourself? It's fairly clear dancemum wants to dump both children onto other parents for Saturday afternoon for which "we'd be so grateful". Humph!

WeAreEternal Sat 09-Feb-13 03:43:52

We have a mum like this in DS's class.
She lives just around the corner from me ( we walk past her house on the way to/from school)

Sometimes if we are leaving/walking at the same time we will walk together and make small talk.
After a few months it seemed as if she was waiting for me (looking out for us) in order to walk together.

Then in november she came out one morning complaining that she was unwell and had been up all night vomiting, and asked if I would mind walking her DS to school. I agreed and we exchanged numbers so that I could give her a quick text just to let her know that he had go into school ok.

Biggest mistake EVER.
Most morning she will now try to send her dd off after me and DS, often coming outside in her pjs claiming that her alarm hadn't gone off and that if she got ready to take her she would be late for school.
We have actually started walking a different way on a morning because I for so sick of it.

By far the worst as the texts 10 minutes before pick up time, "I'm running late and I don't think I'll get to school in time, can you get dd for me?" or "I have an emergancy, would you be able to walk DD home please?" or "can you walk home with dd please, I'm stuck at home and I don't really feel comfortable with her walking on her own"

The girl is 5/6, and lives on a busy road. There is no way she could walk the 15 minute journey alone, you have to cross at least 5 roads.
Her mother is a nightmare.
I just ignore the texts and pretend I haven't seen them.
It's funny because no matter what her excuse is she always managed to overcome it and get to school in the end.

MerryCouthyMows Sat 09-Feb-13 03:47:24

grin Having read the rest of the thread, this woman was never going to get a gentle hint, was she?!

I think your final text was spot on tbh. Can't wait to see what happens at ballet drop off and pick up!

yelpol Sat 09-Feb-13 04:59:11


PebblePots Sat 09-Feb-13 05:14:26


trixymalixy Sat 09-Feb-13 05:48:08

Wow, the cheek of the woman to keep asking after you have said no! Well done, I probably would have caved, but I'm a sucker.

YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue Sat 09-Feb-13 06:05:48

I can't believe these cheeky people, I know someone left with a child all day after a morning play date, ended up still there at tea time!

beeny Sat 09-Feb-13 06:06:46

well done marking my place

<whistles in nonchalantly> Morning brew, hope you have a better nights sleep with DSs teething op!

Jacksmania Sat 09-Feb-13 06:14:13

OK, I have to go to bed now (it's 10:15 pm here) but will be checking in for an update in the a.m. grin

MortifiedAdams Sat 09-Feb-13 06:24:23

Good on you OP for standing firm. The gall.of her to keep hounding you liie that!

Imaginethat Sat 09-Feb-13 06:29:57

I whooped with excitement when I read your latest text, well done! Shame to be pushed to that though, I hate that feeling.

I had a weird situation recently when I picked up several messages from a woman I know saying she needed an "urgent favour". As she is known for such needs, I ignored and continued with my afternoon of pick ups/drop offs/dinner time etc. as we sat at the dining table we heard a knock on the door. It had to e her and I was determined not to budge so I told the kids it was probably a Vodafone salesman and we were going to ignore.
Undetected, she came round the side of the house and hammered on the glass doors. And there she was with a huge pile of washing in her arms saying her iron wasn't working and she urgently needed to use mine.
I did let her in and to use the iron, but we carried on with dinner and talking amongst ourselves, and I then packed the kids in the car to take them to their gym class, leaving her and the bloody iron behind.

Imaginethat Sat 09-Feb-13 06:31:03

Undeterred (not undetected)

LovesBeingWokenEveryNight Sat 09-Feb-13 06:32:09

There are only so many time you can say no politely, seriously don't feel bad.

McKayz Sat 09-Feb-13 07:15:30

Bloody hell Imagine. I wouldn't have let her in.

Bumbolina Sat 09-Feb-13 07:33:25

All I have in my head is the episode of outnumbered!
<marking place>

CheddarGorgeous Sat 09-Feb-13 07:37:20

shamelessly marking place.

Well done OP grin

Good for you! Awaiting the update

MoleyMick Sat 09-Feb-13 07:57:39

Good for you op! (Also shamelessly marking place)

DuchessFanny Sat 09-Feb-13 08:05:19

Can't wait to hear the cheeky caaaah's response .....

whatsleep Sat 09-Feb-13 08:06:11

Well done Storm.....wonder if pushy mum will have the balls to turn up at the dance class. One of the playground mums at our school used to constantly text and phone constantly asking favours, she lived literally 60 seconds from the school gate but had every excuse in the book as to why she couldn't pick up her DD, took weeks of ignoring texts and calls before she moved her attention onto someone else....they are a breed of their own!

I read your thread last time and both DH and I thought she was a rude mare. I've been following this one too, just read out your final response to DH and we both cheered! People like her usually don't give up until they've been stood up to. Being polite doesn't work as they're not polite themselves. Well done for standing up to her OP.

Rooneyisalwaysmoaning Sat 09-Feb-13 08:11:22

I agree you have to be pretty firm about things with that sort of person. When I first encountered ours you could almost see the glint in her eyes as she realised she'd found another sucker to play the game with.

Then another mum tipped me off and said, tbh she's done it to all of us, you have to keep making excuses or she will really do one on you.

And as scary as it was, I started saying no, and she moved on to someone else.
I just can't be doing wih emotionally manipulative people, especially ones who use their children to do it. It's designed to make you feel unreasonable and unkind.

It's proper passive aggression.

shemademedoit Sat 09-Feb-13 08:15:18

I'm stunned but not surprised that she hasn't bothered to answer your last text with at least a ' blush I'm so sorry'

Rooneyisalwaysmoaning Sat 09-Feb-13 08:17:16

I think they might do it because as children they learned that manipulation was the only way to get what they needed.

And then they grow up resenting everyone or making them be responsible for their own lives/children/issues.

The one I know almost always seems to be tryingto get away from the children - almost like it gives her the fear to be stuck with them, there's always an excuse to go out, or do something grown up instead, to prove that she is still able to escape - iykwim?

like, you'll hear she has an emergency and someone SHE has asked to have the kids, but can't, will then ask you to, and even if you say you can't, someone else will have to cancel their plans to do it or the poor little things won't have anyone to look after them.

And then you see her out jogging!!! And she jogs past you and pretends not to have seen you. It's just so, so selfish. I have to put it down to some internal fear they have, like a compulsion, or I couldn't forgive it. Normally they can be such nice people.

(this is the one who left my child alone while she went out for half an hour)(without telling me)

Rooneyisalwaysmoaning Sat 09-Feb-13 08:17:48

resenting everyone for

LemonBreeland Sat 09-Feb-13 08:25:56

Wow there are so many of them out there. Rooney it was nice of the other Mum to give you a heads up on yours.

LtEveDallas Sat 09-Feb-13 08:27:36

Just be careful she doesn't try to turn this against you, you know the type of thing - how rude, how unhelpful etc.

Do you have good friends that know about last time? If not, you may need to get some people on side.

(Well done though, hopefully it will make TCM2 think twice in the future)

SpringBulbs Sat 09-Feb-13 08:35:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wow well done op.
Very good text.

I have a friend like this & have to be very firm with her.

I was taking my nieces to a theme park for their birthday and she wanted to invite her dd along even though she would be at work so would either leave her with me to take for the day or come & leave early.

I said no its not an outing for dd and her friends it's a family outing I can't manage that many children. I had already got the younger two at grandparents for the day & didn't want to increase numbers!

I was told her dd had cried and sobbed ALL weekend cos she hadn't been included..

Given that my dd does not go to the same school as hers & they only knew about it as we drove up to the gates of the theme park & the only conversation about it was via text the dd would only have known about it if her mum had told her..

NotSoNervous Sat 09-Feb-13 08:36:57

Well done OP grin I wish I'd seen her face when she got reply

My money is on there being no party

PurplePidjin Sat 09-Feb-13 08:40:16

Op, I'm impressed! I used to have a friend (years ago, before i met dp let alone had dc) who would ask me to look after her 9yo so she could go for a drink (hard working single mum) until one night she rocked up at 6am coked off her head. I bitterly regret not reporting to SS, but was young and naive sad

stormforce10 Sat 09-Feb-13 08:40:21

OK received a very strange passive aggressive response that came in around 4am hmm.

"Thanks for letting me know you can't help today. Sorry for troubling you. I will ask X, maybe she'll be more helpful. Regards Y"

DH wont take any nonsense. If hes asked to take any of the children from ballet as sometimes does happen at last minute, he always says - I've just got to phone stormforce first to check as she's in charge. DP is well trained smile

Hissy Sat 09-Feb-13 08:41:49

Text back 'Don't contact me again'

the utter bitch. those poor children.

Well done!

<<shamelessly place marking for post dance class update>>

Hissy Sat 09-Feb-13 08:43:39

Oh and if you have X's number...... text her a head up! grin

Rockchick1984 Sat 09-Feb-13 08:43:55

Op she sounds like a nutter!

giraffesCantEatNHSPotatoes Sat 09-Feb-13 08:44:25

"maybe she will be more of a pushover"

What a cow. I second the ",don't contact me again"

DuchessFanny Sat 09-Feb-13 08:45:01

4am ????

TExt back make sure you don't piss X off by swanning off for an afternoon with your DH then. Otherwise you won't have anyone left to help


FamiliesShareGerms Sat 09-Feb-13 08:45:11

I think this is the point to ignore her texts...

Well bloody done!

TobyLerone Sat 09-Feb-13 08:49:23

This thread delivers.

Don't text her back.

Coconutty Sat 09-Feb-13 08:50:08

I agree, ignore text.

How did I miss the update? confused

Cheeky cow. Who the hell does she think she is?

SpringBulbs Sat 09-Feb-13 08:50:24

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PurplePidjin Sat 09-Feb-13 08:51:06

Text back "Glad to hear you've found someone x" The kiss at the end is very passive aggressive important

stormforce10 Sat 09-Feb-13 08:51:22

I was thinking in bed last night that when dd was 3 I had a situation when another mum was about 5 hours late picking up her dd from us. The difference?

1. She phoned - 3 times very apologetically and I agreed to keep her dd as long as necessary
2. Her 6 year old ds have fallen and broken his wrist and they were sitting in A&E all that time
3. She turned up with a box of chocolates, a ds in plaster and endless apologies.
4. She offered to have dd for an afternoon a couple of weeks later.

We are still really good friends and look after each others children quite a bit.

Feeling all cross this morning. Poor ds had another bad night so I did too. DP has jjust taken dd to ballet I wonder what will happen next. I'm glad this is such a source of entertainment to you all grin

stormforce10 Sat 09-Feb-13 08:52:49

and I'm not texting her back. Had enough now

CaseyShraeger Sat 09-Feb-13 08:53:07

Amazing how yesterday she just had to keep badgering you because she'd asked soooo many other people and none of them could do it, whereas this morning she can just move on to "asking X".

Doogle2 Sat 09-Feb-13 08:53:14

I had bets on that she would apologise! I agree, don't text back and try to distance yourself. This woman clearly doesn't see anything from another point of view, only hers. Well done smile

Pagwatch Sat 09-Feb-13 08:54:16

I agree. Don't interact anymore.

(although "ok. Good luck with that" would have tempted me grin )

Yes ignore & take the high ground.

SpringBulbs Sat 09-Feb-13 08:55:31

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SetFiretotheRain Sat 09-Feb-13 08:55:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Jules666 Sat 09-Feb-13 08:58:25

This woman is unbelievable. Not even to apologise for previously leaving her child for hours after it was pointed out to her this is why you won't help her now.

She's obviously realised she's burnt her bridges so can't see the point of apologising but to then send you a passive aggressive text. What a cow.

SpringBulbs Sat 09-Feb-13 08:59:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

The woman is a total loon.

EggRules Sat 09-Feb-13 09:01:09

shock at the sense of entitlement.

christmasmum Sat 09-Feb-13 09:02:08

Blindly, just read this whole thread in shock! How odd are some people?? I almost had a panic attack when I got caught up in roadworks and ended up 4 minutes late picking my kids up from their childminder! Good on you for being so assertive.

christmasmum Sat 09-Feb-13 09:02:26

Blimey, not blindly...

HecateWhoopass Sat 09-Feb-13 09:02:45

mardy bugger, isn't she?

Probably sulking about that all night. Convincing herself you are really mean and unreasonable and - well - "You're so mean, how can't you understand, you're so selfish (4/1)! grin

I'd probably text back. Let's hope she will be. Remember not to take the piss, eh?

But don't do that. That's not helpful. grin The grown up thing to do would be to just ignore the text.

She'll never admit she was in the wrong. She needs you to be the bad guy because she won't want to accept she took the piss.

If she tries to drag other people into it - put them straight.

As a lone parent, I have had the one child has a party scenario many times. The others simply had to suck it up - often they whined, but the result was the same: they sat in a corner with DSs or played if appropriate (although I fed them myself)

SilverSky Sat 09-Feb-13 09:05:22

Crafty cow! Partic the "hopefully X will be more helpful". More emotional shite. But most importantly still no bloody apology!

You did the right thing and I don't think she will ask you again. Result.

Tee2072 Sat 09-Feb-13 09:06:10

Well, done OP. Next time, start with your final answer and stop the drama before it starts.

What cheek some people have.

They found the centre of the universe. She isn't it.

hermioneweasley Sat 09-Feb-13 09:06:57

Can't wait to hear what happened at dance class!

Do you know X? I would be so tempted to text her later and ask whether Y managed to pick her DD up on time... probably wouldn't though as in real life I am very non-confrontational.

Sugarice Sat 09-Feb-13 09:09:52

Cheeky mare! 'maybe x will be more helpful' hmm

I wouldn't text her back either, leave it and have your answers ready when she tries it on again as clearly she has no self awareness at all!

mumzy Sat 09-Feb-13 09:12:14

Don't feel bad OP you did the right thing. Sometimes in life you have to do these things otherwise some people will walk all over you and you will feel even worst. In my circle I know of 2 mums who will always try and offload their dcs onto anyone who will take them and then complain if they get a bump or bruise. I've learnt to be polite with them but keep my distance. If you see her in dance or school say hello then walk on by, let the girls develop their own friendship in class but I wouldn't be facilitating it with playdates etc

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Sat 09-Feb-13 09:12:23

Another one agreeing with you not texting back.

Pag very tempting grin

DeafLeopard Sat 09-Feb-13 09:12:42

Wow that other woman is a terrible selfish user. I would distance myself big time OP.

difficultpickle Sat 09-Feb-13 09:20:47

The next time you see her she will say that "the 3.5 hours incident was some months ago and you didn't seem that bothered at the time so I thought you weren't bothered I was a bit late." She will also bad mouth you to all the other parents at dance class.

We had someone like this in ds's class. Her dc had mild special needs so not really the sort of child you could drop and run at parties. Yet she always did it, even when her dc was 4 and it was the first party in the school year and no one knew each other (every other parent stayed). She also would drop off so quickly that no one managed to get her contact details at any party her dc attended. Her dc was always the child that got upset and needed comforting. Even though she was told when she collected she never ever stayed at any party for the four years ds was at the school. She would also complain that her dc was never invited on playdates and didn't seem to understand that her behaviour was the reason why.

ZZZenAgain Sat 09-Feb-13 09:24:00

ooh. I like the way she left it open, "thanks for letting me know that you can't help TODAY" means but I'll get back to you again another time. And also the slap: hopefully X will be more helpful.

Well, you know you did the right thing now. She doesn't really consider the other person who she is asking to help her out. That person is just a convenience. Don't respond at all. I think in future just don't respond to her texts for help.

How are you going to handle it next time you see her?

Thumbwitch Sat 09-Feb-13 09:26:21

I have one concern, that has only just crossed my mind - because she IS so manipulative and a user, she might choose to pay you back through your DD, by telling her DD that your DD's mummy [you] doesn't want your DD to be friends with her any more. I'm probably reading too much into it, but I wouldn't put it past her...
So, just see how your DD says her friend was towards her.

Cortana Sat 09-Feb-13 09:30:28

You're on the high ground here Stormforce, plus as your example shows it's not like you don't help out when needed! 5 hours extra to help another grateful Mum, said it before but you are not unreasonable.

Also, much love for keeping us updated. I gave up my Saturday morning lie in the check this thread. grin

HeadingHome Sat 09-Feb-13 09:35:56

Marking... To see what happens after class wink

Cherriesarelovely Sat 09-Feb-13 09:38:38

Well done OP. To be honest if you hadn't reacted like this she would definitely have tried it on again soon. Some people are very selfish and inconsiderate and subtle responses are wasted on them. We had to be similarly firm with some parents last year. It did NOT go down well but we are so relieved not to be putting up with their crap anymore.

Good luck and well done!

Imaginethat Sat 09-Feb-13 09:42:51

Wow she really has a nerve.

Don't feel bad and don't feel you have to justify. If you don't want to look after someone else's child, that is fine, you don't have to apologise or make excuses. Unless of course you want them to look after your DC sometimes!

TweedSlacks Sat 09-Feb-13 09:43:52

Thats rather rude
Shows whats shes really like i guess
Hope DS gets better ( and you get some unimterupted sleep)

earlierintheweek Sat 09-Feb-13 09:45:16

She really doesn't get it does she?

which is actually a placemarking attempt at subtlety

Stropzilla Sat 09-Feb-13 09:46:46

Well done for standing up to her. If she does ever mention the 3 and a half hours and tries to pass it off, just tell her you don't trust her anymore and not to ask you again. I know it sounds blunt and rude but some people really won't get it any other way.

youfhearted Sat 09-Feb-13 09:49:05

yes i am worried that she might ahve just told her dd to go with yours at the end of the ballet lesson, with a sad face.
i had an acquaintance who just woudl ask her dd to ask mine, actually on the day,so no get out clause at all. <wonders if it is the same woman>>

AlanMoore Sat 09-Feb-13 09:49:14

Omfg what a piece of work! Well done OP smile

If someone failed to collect their kid & was uncontactable for 3.5 hours I would ring the police, I would never leave my kids longer than I said I would without at least phoning very apologetic and would assume other parent had been in a RTC or something!

AndFanjoWasHisNameO Sat 09-Feb-13 09:51:50

hmm What a piece of work! You've acted amazingly - hope DH just gives her a big smile at ballet.

I agree that no matter how much your thumbs are itching (and mine would be driving me mad) the grown up thing now is not t reply. Also agree with thumbwitch, make sure your dd isnt dragged into this.
Well done op!

MyHeadWasInTheSandNowNot Sat 09-Feb-13 09:52:19

Well done & your DP is lovely smile

Her text to you was PA. Yours to her was the model of assertiveness smile

Schlock Sat 09-Feb-13 09:55:52

What time does the class start/finish so I know when to check the thread please thank you :-D

Mimishimi Sat 09-Feb-13 09:57:37

Oh how very unhelpful of you OP. wink Not agreeing to take her DD on a Saturday so that she can swan off to a long lunch or maybe even the theatre with her DH. I would ignore her text but if I knew X's number, I might just give her a head's up on what happened to you last time and that dancemum plans to ask her this morning. grin Don't block dancemum's number though because then we won't have more entertaining threads like this one. Like ZZZ, I think she fully intends to ask you again because even though you've been sohorridly selfish today, perhaps you won't be next time.

I'll search all the OP's previous postings to work out roughly where she lives then ring round all the dance classes in the area to ask whether they teach a girl whose mum wears the MN scarf.
when normal MNing becomes stalkery

BinarySolo Sat 09-Feb-13 10:08:54

4am? The woman's unhinged.

Hissy Sat 09-Feb-13 10:09:06

There's a SCARF??? shock

We need a link, reference, pics...

showtunesgirl Sat 09-Feb-13 10:12:50

Ooh I love a good scrap. My DD is only 14 months so I have all this to look forward to...

I actually have no idea. Just heard the MN royalty talking about it smile

Snazzynewyear Sat 09-Feb-13 10:14:46

Definitely right not to text back now. Poor X!

thesnootyfox Sat 09-Feb-13 10:16:22

I have a friend like this. Received a text along the lines of :

"I know this is a bit of a cheek but would it be ok if you have Freddie on Saturday, you can take him after football and I will collect him about 6."

Me - "Sorry I'm not free on Saturday. Are you planning on going somewhere nice?"

Friend - "No plans as such. Freddie just said he wants to spend Saturday at your house."

Me - "That's a shame as Saturday isn't convenient. Would Freddie like to come over during half term?"

Friend - "He specifically said he wants to come over to your house on Saturday. Not half term. What are your plans? Can he not just tag along with you?"

Me - "I'm getting my hair cut, then we are going food shopping and to B&Q. Nothing terribly exciting. Sorry can't help. Let me know if he wants to come over during half term."

Friend - "Are you sure that you can't rearrange your shopping for Sunday? As you know we really don't like to say no unless we absolutely have to. It can be damaging to a child's self esteem if they are given negative messages all the time. You know what we are like!"

Me- "I didn't read that book and I have absolutely no qualms in saying no to a 9 year old. In fact it's my favourite word". xxx

There have been lots of occasions when friends refusal to say "no" to Freddie has caused problems and upset our children/other people's children.

stormforce10 Sat 09-Feb-13 10:16:28

Ok for all those waiting for an update. DD class is over. Partymum's dd wasn't even at ballet this morning. DP saw X and asked about it and she had had a text (at 4.30am it woke her up!!!!) and texted back that she was busy today.She is now she's invited dd round to play with her dd and dp will pick her up at 3.30pm 12.30

Why partymum's dd was not at ballet is anybody's guess. Perhaps her mum slept through the alarm clock after a busy nights texting?

NotALondoner Sat 09-Feb-13 10:18:47

That was the text we would all like to send, OP!

stormforce10 Sat 09-Feb-13 10:19:10

Damn you snootyfox I just spilt coffee all over my clean jeans I was laughing so much. Damaging to self esteem shock - more like Freddie is a spoilt brat

snootyfox shock
amd OP am I right in thinking that X caved? After being texted in the middle of the night???

^ As you know we really don't like to say no unless we absolutely have to. It can be damaging to a child's self esteem if they are given negative messages all the time^

LOLOL I had no idea there were such loons people about in real life!

OP, I wonder if she was too embarrassed to go to dance given everyone had refused to have her DD?

I love the "no is my favourite word"
I don't get that, isn't it easy to indulge our children and say yes all the time? Isn't no the difficult option?

stormforce10 Sat 09-Feb-13 10:20:55

To save you the trouble SPB I'm a long way from royalty so do not have the scarf. Is there a MN pleb hoody I can buy it might suit me better

I don't think someone who feels it's appropriate to text someone at 4am has any concept of embarrassment!

stormforce10 Sat 09-Feb-13 10:22:40

spb - no X didn't cave. MY dd is at her house playing and dp will pick her up after we've had a long romantic lunch and a shag

Snazzynewyear Sat 09-Feb-13 10:23:43

shock at Freddie

grin at the no show

No it's OK OP I have called off the private detectives as you've been back and updated.
Glad to see it's your DD that is going round to play

edam Sat 09-Feb-13 10:24:21

What an unbelievably cheeky cow! Well done OP.

thezebrawearspurple Sat 09-Feb-13 10:24:43

She's a loon, who on earth texts people at that hourshock. Good on you for telling her the truth and not caving in to her, she needs more of that.

LIZS Sat 09-Feb-13 10:25:15

She sounds unhinged and maybe has already similarly burnt bridges with X and others. Judging from snootyfox's post and other rl anecdotes I've done well to avoid this liftshare/impromtu playdates malarkey.

Pagwatch Sat 09-Feb-13 10:26:53


Can you just confirm that you did actually put "xx" after your 'I have no problem saying no to a 9 year old...' reply.

Because that is the icing on a lovely fuckyou cake grin

YellowAndGreenAndRedAndBlue Sat 09-Feb-13 10:27:28

Sounds like a happy outcome, have a good weekend

Mimishimi Sat 09-Feb-13 10:29:34

I'd definitely be putting the phone on mute at night now .She not only texted you at four, she really asked someone else at 4:30 am and expected them to say yes? I wonder what she was on....

squeaver Sat 09-Feb-13 10:29:46

This has been my favourite thread in ages.

Well done all round everyone. Send your children to someone else's house and take the rest of the day off.

This thread is the most entertaining I have read in my 6 months on MN.

Well well done OP - but please can we have an update on what happens at the school gates on Monday?

Thanks smile

Honest1 Sat 09-Feb-13 10:31:46

Well done OP smile

TreadOnTheCracks Sat 09-Feb-13 10:35:51

'Last time was ridiculous, seriously. I'll take her for an hour but don't be going swanning off again this time it wasn't ideal for anyone, including your DD.'

^ this

FruOla Sat 09-Feb-13 10:36:21

I've just spent ages reading the entire thread. Absolutely brilliant stormforce! I'm aghast that she sent one of her texts at 4.30 am grin

SPB, Hissy and stormforce, this is the MN scarf (or one of the variations of the MN scarf, but they're all virtually the same wherever you buy them from).

mumzy Sat 09-Feb-13 10:37:01

OP I think its all ended rather well. Your dd has a playdate to look forward to. Mad mum knows the score now that you've said no to her it shouldn't b a problem nxt time she makes an unreasonable request. Its not nice having to be blunt with people but sometimes its the only way otherwise you feel beholden to them forever

Sugarice Sat 09-Feb-13 10:38:04

Result. grin.

Enjoy the lunch and crafty shag! wink

ohfunnyhoneyface Sat 09-Feb-13 10:45:18

This is brilliant!! OP you have to continue to update!

The woman is unbelievable.

And snootyfox- I LOVE your reply- total genius.

ZillionChocolate Sat 09-Feb-13 10:50:07

Hurrah! Pleased to see your assertiveness has been rewarded with a lovely lunch shagging opportunity!

ZillionChocolate Sat 09-Feb-13 10:51:48

Snootyfox is a hero!

WireCatWhore Sat 09-Feb-13 10:53:03

Who the bloody hell texts at 0430?
She is clearly a loon!

I used to have a friend like that. She couldn't do anything. She couldn't take her dd to school so mug that I was, left early to take my dd to nursery, in order to take her dd to school. If I couldn't do it, she'd get so done else.
Then she'd ask if I could clean her house (she wanted to pay me).

I had a new born baby btw.

Anyway, in the end, everyone got pissed off with her & she ended up with no help.

I also had a boy over to play with my ds. An hour after pick up time his mother hadnt arrived. Boy wasn't at all worried. So I text her. No reply. So I called. She sounded surprised that I called. Then pissed off that she had to spoil her evening to get her boy. I never invited the boy again. She never spoke to me again.

SpringBulbs Sat 09-Feb-13 10:53:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TweedSlacks Sat 09-Feb-13 10:54:42

almost as entertaining as the great Clumsy party debacle of 2012

almost . That thread and subsequent deletion will be long remembered

Go team Clumsy.

Well done SF10.

secrectly hopes the other mum delurks for some unhinged ranting at 4am tomorrow

ChaoticisasChaoticdoes Sat 09-Feb-13 10:56:35

snootyfox shock at that mum and grin at your reply.

SnakesheadFritillary Sat 09-Feb-13 10:58:07

grin at X volunteering to take your DD. That is a beautiful twist.

ophelia275 Sat 09-Feb-13 11:02:10

Wow, how incredibly rude and entitled your "friend" is. And what kind of sentient human being texts another (not close) person at 4am when it is not an emergency? She sounds like she has never learnt manners.

GetOrf Sat 09-Feb-13 11:04:05

This is a great thread - well done OP.

Kiriwawa Sat 09-Feb-13 11:24:32

If you wanted to be really mean, you and X could discuss what a lovely time your DD had at her DD's house this week within earshot of partymum at next week's ballet class.

Massive well done to you stormforce and to snootyfox too. This thread delivers grin

sparkle12mar08 Sat 09-Feb-13 11:28:22

Kiriwawa is good...

slatternlymother Sat 09-Feb-13 11:30:21

<bows down to kiri's superior bitching>

Madam, you are inspired.


LemonBreeland Sat 09-Feb-13 11:42:15

What a fantastic conclusion! Good on X too.

Oh. My. Good. God. The woman has the hide of a rhino. Texting X at 4.30am to ask her to have the poor dd??

And Kiriwawa - you are awesome!

This truly is the thread that keeps on giving.

manicbmc Sat 09-Feb-13 12:22:47

Brilliant! So glad that X didn't cave. Anyone who texts at 4am needs their head read.

MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson Sat 09-Feb-13 12:34:04

What a using cow! Well done for being so assertive with her. People like her just use and use people until everyone has had enough of them and there is no one left to use!

SuffolkNWhat Sat 09-Feb-13 12:51:11

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Thumbwitch Sat 09-Feb-13 13:00:20

BLoody hell, thesnootyfox - that person is unhinged indeed! Great answer, btw. grin

Storm - love the twist in the tail of your DD going to X's house to play with her DD!! Who in their right minds texts anyone in the wee sma' hours unless it's a matter of life and death? shock
I should think she probably did oversleep; either that or she decided not to bother with either the dance class or the party and just took them both shopping or something.

Dubjackeen Sat 09-Feb-13 14:03:00

Great thread,well done OP. Also loved the line about not saying no to Freddie, brilliant.

FelicityWasCold Sat 09-Feb-13 14:25:07

Glad it worked out OP!

This is the best thread I've ever seen. Perfect ending.

I bet you feel pleased that X strengthened your position.

One up for common decency.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Sat 09-Feb-13 14:49:39

shock shock shock
I know mums with those scarfs shock shock