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to have moved seats after obese woman continously farted through the film?

(150 Posts)
plugplant Tue 05-Feb-13 23:00:34

It was a local village do, she is a nice lady and I had chatted with her before the film as she was sitting next to me. The first couple of farts I tried not to notice. But they kept on coming and it was making me retch. I had no option but to move seats in the break.

I did not confront her and I tried to cover my nose as discreetly as I could but do you think I was rude for not bearing it out until the end of the film?

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:01:18

Why was her weight a problem?

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Tue 05-Feb-13 23:01:53

Is it ok for skinny people to fart through a film?

WorraLiberty England Tue 05-Feb-13 23:02:00

YANBU

Slim people's farts smell of designer perfume

FACT

hmm

BeaWheesht Tue 05-Feb-13 23:02:08

What mardy said

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:02:13

YABU for being sizeist
YANBU for being fartist

ThisIsANickname Tue 05-Feb-13 23:02:14

I think you are rude to talk about her weight as if that has anything to do with it.

MolehillAlchemy Tue 05-Feb-13 23:02:43

Thin people's farts don't smell. Obv. Fattist and fartist.

Hemlet Tue 05-Feb-13 23:02:56

I know what will happen now; 'What does it matter what size she was'.

No, not unreasonable. I'd have done the same. I wouldn't put up with that for the sake of being 'polite'.

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:03:10

Mind you, I'm fat and I fart. Shoot me.

Hemlet Tue 05-Feb-13 23:03:28

Ah cross post with everyone!

What has her being obese got to do with it? Yanbu for moving from the smell obviously but you seem to think she was farting because she's fat confused

Yabu to mention her size like it matters in this situation hmm

Darksideofthe80s Tue 05-Feb-13 23:04:38

Yanbu for moving seats

Yabvvu for making an issue of her size.

bedmonster Tue 05-Feb-13 23:04:43

Hahahahahahahahahahahaha!! This is all I have to offer!

seeker Tue 05-Feb-13 23:04:55

She wasn't old as well, was she?

YWNBU to move, YWBVU to mention her weight as if that was relevant.

Mumsyblouse Tue 05-Feb-13 23:05:32

I don't think you were rude to move, however perhaps she had a bowel disorder, two of my relatives have this and they are very self-conscious and avoid social events because it is so embarassing. So, have a little compassion (and the weight thing is a red herring, because the people I know with this are not overweight).

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:05:34

My DH is skinny. His farts are much more unpleasant than my fat ones.

Fact.

WorraLiberty England Tue 05-Feb-13 23:06:01

I'm far from fat and after the lamb hotpot I had for dinner, I've been farting like a goodun.

Even the dog has moved away from me in disgust.

Would you prefer I had been sat next to you OP?

Tweasels Tue 05-Feb-13 23:06:21

What was the film?

What they all said ^^

bound to be old seeker

fat old woman

so fair game for pointing and laughing

angry

iliketea Tue 05-Feb-13 23:07:18

YANBU about moving away from a stink, but how did you know it was her? Are obese ladies farts coloured so you could see the fart fumes coming from her?

Or did you just assume that because she was fat, she must be farty?

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:07:20

I can smell 'em from here Worra.

<flaps hands>
<screws up face>

AgnesBligg Tue 05-Feb-13 23:07:35

grin [and farting] at thread

sumrandomgirl Tue 05-Feb-13 23:07:35

grin grin grin grin this made me laff haha

I expect she tried to touch your baby too [extrapolates wildly]

plugplant Tue 05-Feb-13 23:08:24

I should not have mentioned she was obese, sorry, she is a nice lady. I am mortified by what I did as it is a close knit community. Should I apologise?

katrinefonsmark Tue 05-Feb-13 23:08:27

Maybe op referred to the obesity because being squashed against her compounded her discomfort with being farted at.

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:08:41

Was she eating Greggs?

Dromedary Tue 05-Feb-13 23:08:46

Not just fat, OBESE - getting into technical body mass index calculations here.

WorraLiberty England Tue 05-Feb-13 23:09:02

Perhaps she was on benefits too?

Contribution based JSA farts smell much sweeter than Income based JSA farts

Another true fact.

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:09:17

"Maybe op referred to the obesity because being squashed against her compounded her discomfort with being farted at."

But that's not what she said in the OP.

LouMae Tue 05-Feb-13 23:09:57

Skinny people's shit smells of roses.

Hahahahahaha!

Or rather angry because I will now have to explain to DH why I just LOL!

iliketea Tue 05-Feb-13 23:11:10

You've not said how you knew it was her? Unless no-one else was sitting nearby. If there were a few other people around, maybe she assumed that it was you making the stink and was glad you moved?

2rebecca Germany Tue 05-Feb-13 23:12:30

Why should you apologise? That makes it worse. If she's not inclined to be paranoid she may have thought you moved to get a better view or be near a friend. If she was embarrassed by her farting she'd have gone to the toilet had a good shit and then came back and controlled herself. The anal sphincter should be a voluntary muscle.
If I lose control of mine I'll be staying at home watching DVDs.

seeker Tue 05-Feb-13 23:12:31

Possibly Romanian? Or Polish?

LetsKateWin Tue 05-Feb-13 23:13:16

Maybe she's on the medication I'm taking to reduce stomach acid.

I don't blame you for moving...

Tweasels Tue 05-Feb-13 23:13:23

Obese AND nice. Who'd have thought it was possible.

I need to know what film it was.

And no don't apologise, that conversation is just too embarrassing for all involved.

2rebecca Germany Tue 05-Feb-13 23:13:35

Is this a wind up, how many films have "breaks"?

WorraLiberty England Tue 05-Feb-13 23:14:01

What was the movie called anyway?

Bravefart?

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:14:44

Genuinely lolled at Bravefart.

JoanByers Tue 05-Feb-13 23:15:02

I wouldn't want to sit next to a fat person.

They take up too much space.

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:15:14

Maybe it was Gone With The Wind

iliketea Tue 05-Feb-13 23:15:49

just woke dh laughing at bravefart! gringringringrin

MechanicalTheatre Tue 05-Feb-13 23:15:53

Don't apologise! Come on!!!

"Sorry I moved away from you before, but you were farting too much."

REALLY?!

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:16:23
WorraLiberty England Tue 05-Feb-13 23:16:35

Gone with the wind?

Mollydoggerson Tue 05-Feb-13 23:16:37

Well shit food makes you fart and it also makes you fat.....maybe the two are connected.

(Fans air wildly around my flabby body and then runs and hides.)

WorraLiberty England Tue 05-Feb-13 23:16:59

Haha Snap! grin

Backdraft?

MakeHayNotStraw Tue 05-Feb-13 23:18:25

Gone with the Wind, surely?

WorraLiberty England Tue 05-Feb-13 23:19:24

Silent Witness?

MakeHayNotStraw Tue 05-Feb-13 23:19:30

Ah, bum - X-posted with everyone!

WorraLiberty England Tue 05-Feb-13 23:20:07

Depending on what she had for dinner...

Cloudy with a chance of meatballs?

bedmonster Tue 05-Feb-13 23:20:13

Fartloose?

Mollydoggerson Tue 05-Feb-13 23:21:14

Scent of a woman?

WorraLiberty England Tue 05-Feb-13 23:21:31

Honey I stunk the kids?

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:22:05

Rip Van Winkle?

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Tue 05-Feb-13 23:22:16

A documentary about Woody Guffrie?

thebody Tue 05-Feb-13 23:22:52

Was she parked in a disabled space?

Mollydoggerson Tue 05-Feb-13 23:23:06

Close Encounters

porridgewithalmondmilk Tue 05-Feb-13 23:23:35

Oh dear these posts have made me laugh! grin OP, I don't know to be honest, it is hard to say. I fart loads due to Crohn's and I really can't help it. Mine are silent generally but don't smell nice (does any fart?) I do feel bad for at times forcing others to inhale my fumes but I really, genuinely can't help it!

But my BMI is 24 grin

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:23:57

Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Farts Club Band

GaryBarlowsPants Tue 05-Feb-13 23:24:16

The Wind in the Willows?

porridgewithalmondmilk Tue 05-Feb-13 23:24:31

Oh, and are you sure she KEPT farting? The first one might just have lingered around a bit?

WorraLiberty England Tue 05-Feb-13 23:24:46

Waiting to exhale?

WorraLiberty England Tue 05-Feb-13 23:25:08

Bum and Bummer?

Mollydoggerson Tue 05-Feb-13 23:26:21

The wind that shook the barley

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:27:23

Far--t--go

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:27:40

Far-t-go

SaskiaRembrandtVampireHunter Tue 05-Feb-13 23:27:46

It wasn't her who was farting, it was her free goat. Every fool knows obese people get one.

Also curious about the film - was it the BBC adaptation of Fart From the Madding Crowd?

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:27:57

Oh fuck it.

TuftyFinch Tue 05-Feb-13 23:28:30

Fart Club.
buy her a tin of Roses to apologise.

abbierhodes Tue 05-Feb-13 23:28:49

Marking place...

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:28:51

A Bridge Too Farty

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Tue 05-Feb-13 23:29:06

Whistle Down The Wind?

TuftyFinch Tue 05-Feb-13 23:31:08

Pelvic I love that film.

By the way.

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:33:35

My Big Fat Reek Wedding

Mollydoggerson Tue 05-Feb-13 23:33:42

GasHole (2010)

101 min - Documentary - 18 April 2010 (USA)

About the history of oil prices and the future of alternative fuels.

IceNoSlice Tue 05-Feb-13 23:33:59

Phantom Menace?

CarlingBlackMabel Tue 05-Feb-13 23:36:44

All's Smell That Ends Smell?
Stank By Me
Goldfarter

bedmonster Tue 05-Feb-13 23:37:28

Stop it now, I have just had a right ticking off from DP who is trying to watch something very very serious boring and I am guffawing in bed loudly! Geddit?! Only the thing is, I laughed so much that I did a huge fart!
It's taken me about 8 minutes to compose this message due to laughing and these hmm looks from DP!!

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Tue 05-Feb-13 23:38:09

Something starring Tori Smelling?

Fanjounchained Tue 05-Feb-13 23:38:42

God I love AIBU

grin great thread

though the titles a bit hmm

could only think of dirty farting!

PelvicFloorClenchReminder Tue 05-Feb-13 23:40:53

Breakfast At Whiffany's?

GaryBarlowsPants Tue 05-Feb-13 23:43:09

The Guffalo

Forrest Trump

Angelico Tue 05-Feb-13 23:48:07

PMSL at film titles.

Laughing too much to think of witty contribution grin

LineRunner Tue 05-Feb-13 23:48:54

Pump Fiction
Fart Fron the Madding Crowd

21 Trump Street

LineRunner Tue 05-Feb-13 23:53:03

Raiders of the Lost Fart

Tweasels Tue 05-Feb-13 23:57:23

Fartacus?

ScrambledSmegs Netherlands Wed 06-Feb-13 00:09:22

Gone with the wind. Obv hmm

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Wed 06-Feb-13 00:11:21

Now why didn't we think of that? RTFT wink

ScrambledSmegs Netherlands Wed 06-Feb-13 00:14:24

Ah, a pox on this damn phone. Scroll you fucker, scroll!

Sorry Mardy sad

does anyone remember Trumpet on?

I am farticusgrin

DrRanj Wed 06-Feb-13 00:17:01

James Pong in "Skyfluff?"

grin love the film titles!

Trumptonblush

Aquarius1 Wed 06-Feb-13 00:17:47

Scents and Sensibility

Tweasels Wed 06-Feb-13 00:18:33

No, I am Fartacus.

ToomuchWaternotWine Wed 06-Feb-13 00:20:03

No, I am Fartacus! <stands up>

scent of a woman

smells like teen spirit

DrRanj Wed 06-Feb-13 00:23:49

Forrest Pump

LineRunner Wed 06-Feb-13 00:24:07

Trumping Iron
The Godfarter

Aquarius1 Wed 06-Feb-13 00:24:09

Mrs Doubtfart

LineRunner Wed 06-Feb-13 00:24:47

In the Name of the Farter

Booyhoo Wed 06-Feb-13 00:26:31

grin

this is why i love MN!

vivizone Wed 06-Feb-13 00:26:42

This thread has had me howling.

the bodyfart

the secret dreamworld of a fartaholic

farts just want to have fun

lord of the farts

CelineMcBean Wed 06-Feb-13 00:30:13

Days of Thunder

Windy Miller from Chigley

Silent but Deadly

Selvedge South Korea Wed 06-Feb-13 00:38:36

White Men Can't Trump

Harry Pooter and the Half Baked Poo

Afartar

A Beautiful Wind

The Sound of Farting

Brokewind Mountain

Selvedge South Korea Wed 06-Feb-13 00:46:03

If only it had been Emission Impossible.

LineRunner Wed 06-Feb-13 00:46:54

Farter of the Bride

Jurassic Parp

Pennybubbly Wed 06-Feb-13 00:50:08

(in order)

Jurassic Fart
Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
The Great Escape
Petty Woman

Pennybubbly Wed 06-Feb-13 00:50:37

oops, x-post with CakeE

foxy6 Wed 06-Feb-13 00:54:09

Are you sure she isn't slitheen , I been watching Dr who, they are over weight and fart a lot

MardyBraWouldDoEddieRedmayne Wed 06-Feb-13 08:15:45

Just joshing Scrambled

Glossynotflossy Wed 06-Feb-13 08:31:34

This is the first thread since i joined where i am lol on the bus rather loudly.

WorraLiberty England Wed 06-Feb-13 08:55:02

White Men Can't Trump

Haha! Brilliant! grin

Piecesofmyheart Wed 06-Feb-13 09:15:38

Fartgo.

But actually OP yanbu really. Fart once and you can pretend it wasn't you. Fart twicw in a confined space when you are in extremely close proximity to another person then get up and go. Even if its only temporarily.

complexnumber Wed 06-Feb-13 09:27:21

The Sweet Smell of Success.
Fart of Darkness

FlyingFig Wed 06-Feb-13 09:29:52

How to lose a guy in 10 days?

The Last Airbender?

Fart Attack hosted by Neil Poo'Cannon?

Are you seriously contemplating apologising to someone for moving seats because you suspected her of seeping poisonous wind in the local village hall?! How's that conversation going to go?!

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Wed 06-Feb-13 09:33:50

Blowout?

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Wed 06-Feb-13 09:34:48

Parp fiction?

Fakebook Wed 06-Feb-13 09:53:21

grin good thread.

Can I add:

Fartkenstein
The Devil wears Parp-er

iliketea Wed 06-Feb-13 09:56:13

OP - absolutely you should apologise for moving. And the come back and tell us how that conversation went.

Am wondering the appropriate response to "so sorry about moving the other night, you're a lovely woman, but your windy bottom was ruining my enjoyment of the film" !! I mean what does one say to that?!

WandaDoff Wed 06-Feb-13 09:58:29

Thunderpants.. oh no that was a real film

WorraLiberty England Wed 06-Feb-13 10:18:24

OP - absolutely you should apologise for moving. And the come back and tell us how that conversation went.

"That's alright love. I couldn't wait for you to fuck off...hence the reason I let off all those stink bombs". grin

complexnumber Wed 06-Feb-13 10:22:47

OP - absolutely you should apologise for moving. And the come back and tell us how that conversation went.

"That's alright love. If you think they smelt, cop this BELCH!"

whattodoo Wed 06-Feb-13 10:27:12

In a funny way, I hope it was her that was farting and not someone else flatulating down/up wind.

If it wasn't her, she probably now thinks OP moved because she was embarrassed about her own stink bombs.

shewhowines Wed 06-Feb-13 10:31:12

everybody else nearby probably think it was the op because she moved.

FlorentinePogen Wed 06-Feb-13 11:26:13

You should have nipped out for a clothes peg at break and come back wearing it on your nose.

a) Everyone would think you are a cool hipster with Vera Wang jewellery on your phizzog and...

b) Obese farter would get the message.

smile

Acandlelitshadow Wed 06-Feb-13 11:35:31

Perfume?

Back To The Farture?

Tootsie?

iliketea Wed 06-Feb-13 20:05:25

OP - how did the apology go?

BalloonSlayer Wed 06-Feb-13 21:05:07

Was it a Clint Eastwood season?

Fartbreak Ridge
Sudden Impact
Every which way but loose (which was lucky)

LineRunner Wed 06-Feb-13 21:08:19

Godfarter II

RafflesWay Wed 06-Feb-13 21:11:54

Will you all stop it! My dh absolutely loves this thread and keeps making me check back to latest comments. complex your last post has caused immense hilarity!!

EugenesAxe Wed 06-Feb-13 21:12:11

As my sister would say 'Bazinga!' - reading your title I laughed a lot and thought 'No, but you will certainly get grief from people for correlating fart frequency and weight.'

First response...

LineRunner Wed 06-Feb-13 21:16:09

The remake of Les Miserables, featuring Deflatine

7lbminigoals Wed 06-Feb-13 22:25:41

Shitness
The spy who Parped Me
Skids and the City
The Poo-man Show
Shatting Hill
Me and My Guff
Raiders of the lost Arse
The empire farts back
Spinal Crap
Ten things I hate about Poo
Parpeye
Shite-anic
these are all from my husband who just HAD to contribute! I saved this thread for him coz i knew he'd love it.. Sorry! wink quite possibly a thread killer but hope not

Sunnywithshowers Wed 06-Feb-13 23:03:26

Forrest Guff
Days of Thunderpants
Top Bum

Buzzardbird Wed 06-Feb-13 23:37:48

Whooops myporkylips

cumfy Wed 06-Feb-13 23:44:35

Oh it was Troll Hunter then.grin

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