To contemplate revenge - Have you ever?

(109 Posts)
appletarts Tue 05-Feb-13 19:37:56

I posted previously about difficulties with sister, ho she has bullied and tried to control me and that she completely ignored me on my wedding day. Her daughters wedding is coming up and I have been fantasising about ruining it for her in some way, not ruining it for her daughter but for her. I imagine ignoring her like she did me or more dramatic revenges which I am too ashamed to detail. I will almost certainly not take revenge believing it's not good for the soul, but I bet it would feel bloody great and I am tempted! Anyone ever taken revenge and did it feel good or bad?

NoisesOff Tue 05-Feb-13 19:47:27

Don't do it. If you take revenge, you're pulling yourself down to her level, and it will in her eyes justify doing all sorts of future nasties to you. You'll lose all moral high ground and give her reason to hate you.

picard476 Tue 05-Feb-13 19:49:06

Living well is the best revenge. That, and taxis at 4am

badtemperedaldbitch Tue 05-Feb-13 19:53:01

It depends whether you are planning to tuck her skirt in knickers or summat much more....well more

By all means have fun fantasising but leave it in your imagination

My sister tried to ruin my wedding out of jealously of her wedding. We are still together 23 years later.... They split after 6 years.... I think that speaks for itself

ThingummyBob Tue 05-Feb-13 19:53:17

Takeaways, taxis and garden ornaments have all played their part in my revenge plots and maybe just maybe one gay website

purrpurr Tue 05-Feb-13 19:53:58

It won't sit well with you afterwards, though. If it did, you would be doing horrible things to people already. You know, for fun.

I speak from recent experience. I flat out ignored my SIL recently (she's spent years ignoring me whilst I've desperately tried to get her to like me) and I STILL feel bad. It's not me. I'm a nice person. Don't do it. Fantasize like crazy instead.

I horrified my DH the other day by detailing my revenge fantasies against a particularly awful colleague! Of course I would never do it - and it upset me a bit to see how nasty I could be!

ThingummyBob Tue 05-Feb-13 19:56:39

I should point out that I had garden ornaments delivered, not stolen grin

Daysies Tue 05-Feb-13 19:57:17

In my younger days, I absolutely did NOT take the ink from a felt tip pen snip a small piece off and cut away the plastic straw before carefully carving a hole in a bar of soap to conceal it from my asshole housemate.

He was quite blue for three or four days.

ThingummyBob Tue 05-Feb-13 19:58:35

OP, if you want to ruin her day and her day only have you thought about optrex wink

grin Daysies

ThingummyBob Tue 05-Feb-13 20:00:51

ooh yy daysies; ablution tampering is a good one grin

OP, think food colouring in shampoo for a special wedding day 'do'. . .

Daysies Tue 05-Feb-13 20:10:07

Just to give you all a little visual, he must have started to wash his (blonde) hair first.. so it ended up that he had blue hair, ears and cheeks. As well as some drip lines down his back!

Bogeyface Tue 05-Feb-13 20:21:34

I put the phone number of the OW on a dating website with a message taken directly from what she had texted my husband.

I got a bollocking from the police for it, who were understanding tbf, but said I shouldnt do it again.

Yes, it was worth it.

Bogeyface Tue 05-Feb-13 20:23:22

Oh, and she had to change her number due to the sheer volume of calls she received. I was surprised she wasnt more grateful, she wanted nasty sex with married men so thats what I got her! Her OH wasnt too chuffed though...grin

BumBiscuits Tue 05-Feb-13 20:25:47

Find out what her outfit is and buy the same one. Organise an informal party the night before the wedding and wear the outfit to that.

Bogeyface Tue 05-Feb-13 20:28:59

I am not suggesting you do what I did btw! I like the matching outfit idea though, subtle and could easily be put down to coincidence!

Bluemonkeyspots Tue 05-Feb-13 20:29:59

Bum! That is so naughty!

I love it grin

Uppermid Tue 05-Feb-13 20:30:03

I think the fantasy will be better than the reality. Post all your ideas here but a don't do them. As someone unthread said, living your life and doing well is the best revenge ever and she can never have a go at you for it.

Saying that I love the felt tip and taxis!

almostanotherday Tue 05-Feb-13 20:30:17

Ooooo the outfit idea one sounds good storing for own use if ever needed

MechanicalTheatre Tue 05-Feb-13 20:35:57

I have certainly felt like taking revenge, but quite sure it wouldn't feel good in the long term. There'd be a split second when you saw their face, but after that...nah. It'd be like you actually gave a fuck, that would be the killer for me.

Far better to rise above.

And pay heed to the Chris Huhne/Vicky Price thing because revenge does tend to come back and bite you on the ass.

CatDilemma Tue 05-Feb-13 20:41:26

My dp and I split up in a very complicatedway a few years ago. It was sudden and the dirty sod had left toenail clippings in my bathroom. He'd also left behind a pot of gravy granules behind which he very childishly asked tohave back. So I ground up the toenails and put them in the gravy.
It made me smile every time I thought about him and the ow eating them.

MummytoKatie Tue 05-Feb-13 20:52:48

I was going to say - Vicky Price may now be regretting her revenge plan....

It was impressive though.

Charliefox Tue 05-Feb-13 20:57:10

I absolutely fantasise about doing all manner of awful things to my fucking bastard neighbours but they will definitely stay as fantasies. Things can escalate all too easily. I would also never order taxis/pizzas etc, as the poor business owners trying to make a living shouldnt suffer and be out of pocket cos of pranks.

Charliefox Tue 05-Feb-13 20:57:57

OMG Cat, that has made my stomach turn!

MechanicalTheatre Tue 05-Feb-13 20:59:55

Yeah TBH MummytoKatie not 100% I could have resisting VickyPricing Huhne myself after such a public humiliation.

I bet a massive part of her is like "fnar fnar" right now, even if she does end up in prison.

sillymillyb Tue 05-Feb-13 21:23:35

Bogey that made me giggle.... I got a warning from the police when I posted my ex's prostitute booking forms on to his facebook profile. My ex was a copper though, so not sure sending his mates round works the same way really especially when he ended up being investigated and disciplined for it

Seriously though, I wish I had risen above it and had the higher moral ground. Nothing says you care more than giving a reaction - try and believe she is so meaningless to you, and what she does is of so little consequence that you barely register what has happened in the past.... and drink lots of lots of gin grin

VikingLady Tue 05-Feb-13 21:37:20

How would you grind up toenail clippings? I wouldn't have thought they were dry/brittle enough. You live and learn!

I like subtle revenges. Like the twat man in the student bar who told me I was not attractive enough to date but he would be happy to screw me if I wanted (I didn't - he approached me!). He found it quite hard to get a date later that year..... Apparently a rumour had spread that he suffered really badly with premature ejaculation....


Beaverfeaver Tue 05-Feb-13 21:40:51

My revenge is always a sickly sweet smile to the person in question.

MechanicalTheatre Tue 05-Feb-13 21:41:00

Yes, Viking, that is a classy sort of revenge, I'd say.

sillymillyb, that takes some gall!

CatDilemma Tue 05-Feb-13 21:42:35

They'd been there a while Viking. I'd refused to clean them up.

appletarts Tue 05-Feb-13 21:42:53

Oooh BumBiscuits I love that! I'll just wear the same on the wedding day, I can't bring myself to actually do anything though. These replies are hilarious!

carabos Tue 05-Feb-13 22:01:21

When XP went off abroad to allegedly visit his kids but in reality to sleep with his XW's sister, I drove him to the airport then went home, packed up all his belongings, took them to the Sally Army and moved without leaving a forwarding address. I had given notice to the LL so when XP arrived back he was homeless and had nothing but the clothes he stood up in.

I have never regretted it. He was a cocklodging, drug abusing, lying, thieving bastard and he deserved it <and breathe>.

BumBiscuits Tue 05-Feb-13 22:05:37

I'll completely deny cleaning ex's skidmarks off the loo with ex's toothbrush if anyone asks

BumBiscuits Tue 05-Feb-13 22:06:33

after we'd finished due to his cheating

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 05-Feb-13 22:10:41

I was made redundant a few years back. They brought in a shiny new lawyer to replace me who was no doubt half my price. They then ran a piece in the local paper saying how wonderful she was and how it was great to have a new broom etc.

I took the clipping and set fire to it in a bucket in the garden. It made me feel great seeing her burn away like that grin

I have done some awful, awful things in my youth.

From childish (I was a teenager) - asking the girl who snogged my boyfriend and thought I didn't know about it to pass on a letter to the 'popular' guy in our year at school, unknown to her I had actually written it from her and declared her undying love to him, in rhyme.

To funny - a guy my friends and I used to go out clubbing with always used to be an arse after a few drinks, we all used to go back to his house after the club and he always ended up falling asleep, he was very, very house proud and made us take our shoes off etc (all perfectly reasonable with the benefit of hindsight) and we found it quite annoying.

One of the nights we were there after he fell asleep we went to the 24 hour garage and bought all the tin foil they had (6 drunk people going in and buying about 30 rolls of tinfoil raised some eyebrows) we then went back to my friends house and covered everything in tinfoil, everything from the fruitbowl and individual bits of fruit to the couch and rug and pictures on the wall, it took us about 2 hours.

It was hilarious (and we were forgiven after a few weeks).

To downright horrible - A particular ex of mine (he was really nasty when we were together) used to come into the nightclub I worked in (the only nightclub for miles around) although he never did anything when I was at work the sight of his face pissed me off so much that I lied to the security staff and he got banned, and because of the 'pubwatch' scheme he was banned from all the other pubs too. I killed his social life in one swoop.

I once blush and I cannot believe I am about to admit this.... shagged the husband (well live in DP) of the girl who made my life a misery at school by bullying me.
I met him in a nightclub and he invited me back to his to shag and when we got there, there was a photo of her on the mantelpiece. When I asked he said they'd had a massive fight three days earlier and she'd stormed off to her mother's and "left him" and called her all the names under the sun, and I just thought "right you bitch, this is where I get mine after all these years" and shagged him senseless not in her bed though, ewwwww on the couch and the table, and the floor and the stairs
I never told anyone, and as far as I know neither did he - they got back together briefly later on, then split for good after that. I didn't need to crow or tell anyone, just knowing that after all the times she'd called me fat and ugly and scabby and everything else (and I remembered every.single.hurtful.word) he had picked me up, come on to me, told me I was gorgeous, admired my clothes, my hair (and even if it was just flattery to get into my knickers,) had made an effort with me, was enough grin
I laid a few ghosts to rest that night I can tell you.

EarlyMorningBaconDemon Tue 05-Feb-13 22:30:34

Nair in the shampoo is an oldie but a goodie. Especially if you put it in your dickwanking, cocklodging, abusive, vain, histrionic, dramaqueen cuntface of an ex-boyfriend's leave-in conditioner.

He was so fucking obsessed with his hair and his beauty, and he made me feel about three inches tall because, whilst I'll make the effort if I'm going out, when I'm in the house I won't exactly wear a fucking ballgown. So yeah, he was meticulous. And a wankstain. And would frequently waste my water when I was on a low income. And was fucking my friend.

Funnily enough, after half his hair dizzolved, she didn't want to know him. Hmm, how odd.

Willdoitinaminute Tue 05-Feb-13 22:43:05

My Dsis told everyone not to wear pastels for her wedding and she told my other sis not to put her 2 DD into ponchos (fashionable for tots a few years back) Guess what? Other sis found some brilliant crochet ponchos for the wedding but drew the line at pastel for herself. Me just turning up with my newborn DS was enough. She had planned the wedding to coincide with my due date. DS was a month early! Other sis and I have a pact to piss her off at any opportunity. No real fall out but she is just so bossy.

MechanicalTheatre Tue 05-Feb-13 22:46:26

Yikes, Pom you've just reminded me!

I had a frenemy (down wit kidz, yeah?) who was always making PA comments to me and my other friend about how slaggy we were (yeah and what?). She did a number of really shitty things to me and I just lost it one night.

She really fancied this guy. He turned up one night, we all went out and then I shagged him, loudly, on her bedroom floor.

With her in the bed.

Not mature, but it really perked me up.

meddie Tue 05-Feb-13 23:07:55

I will deny to my last breath regularly cleaning the toilet with my exH toothbrush or putting breastmilk in his cup of tea as he was so squeamish about it.
I absolutely refute painting a large H inside a circle with white emulsion paint on his lawn and planting 4 lights at each corner and turning into a helicopter landing pad.
I do not have the artistic ability to paint red wiggly lines down the side of his car and flames over the wheel arches with red oxide primer and then writing 'go faster stripes' down the side.

Dothraki Tue 05-Feb-13 23:18:18

Contemplate - oh yes, but unlike V Price I have no wish to end up in jail. So I'd like to see some very clever, subtle ideas that I can use to make me laugh smile

meddie Tue 05-Feb-13 23:23:39

prawns sewn into the hem of curtains or inside curtain rods is an oldie and a goodie.

Clytaemnestra Tue 05-Feb-13 23:31:17

My best friend was cheated on by her boyfriend. This was the deep dark past when I was 18 and just at uni. So a group of us got very drunk, and, since we were going past his house own our way to another club, we took a stop off and took it in turns to wee on his doorstep.

I wouldn't do it now, but it still makes me smirk. He was very very cross about it.

You could cress her carpet. Or, one particularly inventive friend suggested this one: when my (then current, now ex) P was being chased by a 'friend' my other friend suggested signing her up for every mailing list of every plastic surgeon and beautician in the area because she was very paranoid about her skin. I didn't, but I got a warm glow when I thought about it.

deleted203 Wed 06-Feb-13 00:27:22

I have never taken revenge, but my friend did on her cheating ex. Whilst he and OW were on holiday she let herself back into his house (still had key) and replaced fuse in the freezer plug with a blown one.

She said this was because if she'd:-

a) switched the plug off
b) removed the fuse
c) unplugged it

he would have known it was her. As it was they came back to an entire chest freezer of manky stuff presumably and simply thought a fuse had blown. The satisfaction of her knowing she'd done it was enough for her. (And she'd looked in freezer, apparently and been impressed to note he had an entire salmon in there for one thing!)

I was slightly impressed at her cunning, I must admit.

Bogeyface Wed 06-Feb-13 00:31:55

I wish I had risen above it and had the higher moral ground. Nothing says you care more than giving a reaction - try and believe she is so meaningless to you, and what she does is of so little consequence that you barely register what has happened in the past....

Nah, fuck that. Now everyone who saw her topless picture and her phone number know what a fucking slag she is, especially her OH!

My H on the other hand would have love to have just got away with what I did to her! Bollocks to dignity, revenge is sweet!

MerlotAndMe Wed 06-Feb-13 00:37:06

I took revenge on an x in the 90s and I don't regret it, never did. He dumped me with such a character assasination and we had so many mutual friends. I was pushed out of the group. Suddenly I had no friends, or rather, I realised, I never had friends, only people who followed the brightest star or whatever...

So, I heard through mutual 'friends' that he was applying for a job with x y z charity, he really wanted the job. Then he got an interview, then he got a second interview, but he hadn't been offered the job. I rang the company knowing he hadn't started because he hadn't even been offered the job. I said 'is *dave green there?' eh no, sorry he doesn't work here. 'oh I think he does, he told me does. in the pencil sharpening department. can I leave a message with them? Please give it to him when he starts!??".

He didn't get job. But i don't know if i fucked that up for him or not. will never know for sure.

there was something else I did too but I couldn't say it on here. i've told people in real life though and they have whistled, impressed, shocked.... scared wink

Bogeyface Wed 06-Feb-13 00:44:34

Merlot please tell, or pm me!!!

My sister did a stunner, which I have posted on MN before.

Short version is that her Army BF was cheating and then dumped her. She called him over and over and he ignored her and didnt call her back (as she expected) so she called his CO and told him that she had to get a message to him. She said that she had been tested positive for gonorrhea and as she had been a virgin (! okaaaay!) she must have got it from him.

Being confidential, it went round the camp in minutes and he was known as "Clap Craig" ever after! She didnt have it and had never been tested, but she only told him that after him and OW got tested grin

I have never, and would never suggest getting a load of salmon heads off your local fishmonger and lining them up in the dead of night on the doorstep of the bitchy director who scuppered your debut play. Nope.

DizzyZebra Wed 06-Feb-13 01:07:51

I would just ignore her. I don't think theres anything wrong with that.

Juanca Wed 06-Feb-13 01:25:53

I heard a great one but I've never had the balls to try it.

Using your enemy's address, order pizzas for, say, midday. Also order as many taxis as you can for midday. Make appointments for double glazing salesmen and Jehovah's witnesses to turn up at the same time. Call the fire brigade and say there's a cat up the tree at the address. You get the picture. Then call the local paper and say you've been tipped off that something will happen at number 5 Smith Street at midday ...

Juanca Wed 06-Feb-13 01:36:43

Some of these are amazing. Remind me never to fuck with any of you.

monsterchild Wed 06-Feb-13 01:46:22

Bogey the next time say its syphilis, the test for man is quite, erm, intrusive!

MrsPoglesWood Wed 06-Feb-13 01:46:37

Are you serious Juanca? Local pizza shops and taxi firms should stand the cost of someone extracting revenge on an ex? And the fire service? Like they haven't got anything better to do?

I really hope you're being ironic in some shite sort of way!

My ExH left me for the woman up the road, she cheated on him, he committed suicide, that I don't blame on her. She was also really very nasty to DS1, I of course never encouraged him to spend the year before last throwing slugs over the fence at her lovely vegetable patch after dark hmm

Bogeyface Wed 06-Feb-13 01:54:29

monster it might have been that, which is the one that involves a nasty implement down the penis? Thats the one she said she had!

Juanca Wed 06-Feb-13 01:57:19

Yes I'm being totally serious MrsPoglesWood, I'm aiming to bankrupt every small business for miles around with my imaginary scenario!

MrsPoglesWood Wed 06-Feb-13 02:02:21

Ahh imaginary is good! I have those thoughts too.....

Juanca Wed 06-Feb-13 02:06:35

We all have evil thoughts (mostly when I was younger - I must've mellowed) but as someone upthread said the best revenge is living well.

However, I do confess that when an ex cheated on me and then dumped me (but not before giving me an STI) I couldn't resist posting a few ads with his number advertising cars at rock bottom prices and a lovely room with a Jacuzzi overlooking Clapham Common for £50/week. He was forced to change his number, poor lamb.

MrsPoglesWood Wed 06-Feb-13 02:15:06

I once dobbed in an ex to the CSA. He fathered a child after we split and gloated that she wouldn't name him cos he wasn't in a position to marry her until his career was established and they needed her lone parent benefits to support him. Funnily enough they got married less than 3 months later....

StuntGirl Wed 06-Feb-13 02:22:45

Another one wanting to know what you did merlot!

I used to have awful revenge fantasies about a boss who bullied me to the point of quitting. I have never hated anyone more than that man, I really wish I could have done something to him!

Dryjuice25 Wed 06-Feb-13 03:02:10

never revenge

ChampyandtheWonderHorse Wed 06-Feb-13 06:24:01

no, OP - don't, it will not feel great, it'll feel rubbish. Just sort out the problem irl, and you won't need these fantasies. I saw your thread about your sister and felt very sympathetic - but reading this I've already lost some sympathy.

appletarts Wed 06-Feb-13 06:33:53

Champy I won't do anything but I do feel tempted sometimes. In an ideal world I would like to talk to her before the wedding and explain how hurt I was and try to get some acknowledgement/resolution. But she would just see this as weakness and I would never get an adult response or any compassion. I think that's why I've been dreaming of revenge because there's no other way to get my point out there. In reality I will do something much more mature and probably decline getting overly involved in arrangements and just turn up on the day looking fantastic and be charming to everyone, except perhaps her because I think inside I will feel massively triggered. I've never taken revenge on anyone because I've always been able to talk things through with generally reasonable people. Some of these stories are brilliant/scary.

ChampyandtheWonderHorse Wed 06-Feb-13 06:45:23

No I do understand. I had fantasies about doing something when an ex left me, once - again because reasonable communication was off the cards.

I felt like I needed an outlet for my hurt and anger. But after a few months I was SO glad I hadn't done anything to him. Really relieved. I think it would have been awful, especially if he had known it was me.

The thing is things get out of proportion in communication breakdowns. You start blaming the other person and demonise them a bit, you lose sight of any possible good in the relationship.

Later, years later we actually met up again and forged what is now a close friendship. If I'd avenged what happened before that would have been out of the question. It was hard but I had to deal with my anger in my own way and I didn't have a clue how, still don't know how I got over it.

But I'm so glad now. smile I wish you all the best, it's a horrid situation...maybe you would be happier with her out of your life.

ChampyandtheWonderHorse Wed 06-Feb-13 06:47:04

What I mean is, it would have destroyed any remnants of the wonderful connection we had had - it would have confirmed to him that he had done the right thing iyswim?

and as it is, we've picked up the good bits and moved forward. Took a long time though.

appletarts Wed 06-Feb-13 06:55:30

Champy those are all the reasons why I won't, good on you for transforming things in that relationship, it takes hard work. It just took me so long to meet my mr right and get married that I still can't believe she tried to ruin it for me. I have been reflecting about how powerless I feel in this that I am dreaming of revenge and think it's time I took back my power (without sounding like Paddy off take me out). I've got to work out how I do that when it can't be within the relationship as she's so into games. Thanks for your reply!

CheerfulYank Wed 06-Feb-13 07:01:50

I had an awful bullying bitch of a boss when I worked at a nursery. She had two families who were her special pets as they were very rich and well-connected.

A good friend of mine (who also worked there) and I both quit and convinced her favorites to quit and hire us as nannies. smile

Not a huge act of revenge, but she was spitting mad when she found out...

ChampyandtheWonderHorse Wed 06-Feb-13 07:03:38

That makes a lot of sense, it's about taking back your power - wish I could tell you how! Good luck x

fuzzypicklehead Wed 06-Feb-13 07:51:34

I once helped a friend hire a private investigator to follow her OH who she suspected of cheating (despite massive denials on his part).

He was cheating. Rather than instigate a big confrontation and listen to more denials... She played it cool and just forwarded all his post to OW's address.

It did make me laugh, picturing him trying to work out what had happened and create some way to weasel out of the situation...

mademred Wed 06-Feb-13 09:00:14

When my ex left me for a friend, she was the ultimate bitch to my kids and tried to stop my ex having contact with them.even barred my number from his phone so when one of the dcs were in hospital ill I couldn't get hold of him.she had told me once that her eldest dc didn't belong to her dh, but the kids didn't know.well after her being such a bitch to my dc, I messaged her 16yr old dd and told her to go ask her mum for her birth certificate.she called me a liar etc but four years on I hear she has found her real dad and extended family and is for the ex he doesn't have any contact with my kids atall as other things emerged about him , so the best revenge is that she's stuck with him.

ChampyandtheWonderHorse Wed 06-Feb-13 09:58:38

Mademred are you actually proud that you used a child to get revenge on someone?

I just can't understand the mentality that says that's Ok sad

Didn't you think how the 16yo might feel?

Darkesteyes Wed 06-Feb-13 17:29:32

I read an article about revenge recently. It had this saying in it....
If you are going to take revenge you had better dig two graves.

ClippedPhoenix Wed 06-Feb-13 17:32:53

Blimey what a saintly lot most of you are.

I have certainly taken revenge on ocassion and enjoyed every second of it grin

Uppermid Wed 06-Feb-13 18:57:42

Mademred that's dreadful, and you're proud of it. You're lucky it turned out ok for her but that's just hideous and nasty

thegreylady Wed 06-Feb-13 22:08:05

I! did it was in. 1967. I discovered my dh was having an affair with my bf-the one I had been confiding in about how distant he was. I am on tablet now so too long to type out whole story but I will tell you about the boyfriend of hers who rang dh and threatened him ( was my friends dh) and the cheap perfume I soaked her letters in before replacing them in his inside pocket-he was a secondary school teacher. I put sugar in his petrol tank,holes in his condoms and super glue in his 'toothpaste. Yes I did revenge. I was only 23 and have never regretted any of it. Oddly we became good friends before he died and I had a day out with his widow recently ( noexbf).!

picard476 Wed 06-Feb-13 22:14:02

some of these are borderline insane imo.

MerlotAndMe Wed 06-Feb-13 23:20:37

thegreylady, i think if they are the type of man to acknowledge that they did wrong, they can on one level respect you for not just weeping quietly in the corner. the other type of man who never acknowledges he did anything wrong will write you off as a psycho.

I felt good knowing i'd ruined my x's chances at that job. he didn't knwo why he didn't get it , or that i was trying to sabotage him, but it still felt GOOOOOOD.

i'm loving this thread!

Porkster Wed 06-Feb-13 23:26:55

I agree that living well is the best revenge.

It's all a bit undignified otherwise.

Writehand Wed 06-Feb-13 23:55:59

I was v young. 5 of us shared a student house, 2 supposedly committed couples & a single bloke. I'd just got engaged to my DP. Out of the blue my DP and the OW went off together, leaving the 3 of us utterly devastated. The single bloke was timid and idolised my charismatic, hugely entitled DP. He was almost as broken up as we abandoned lovers were.

Massive heartbreak for me and the OM, and a total shock. The first time I saw them together at the library I fainted down the steps like a Victorian miss. It was a huge deal for me.

My bastard DP left all his stuff behind, asking me to pack it up and send to their new flat just a few streets away.

So: I ripped a handful of pages out of the back of all his books, poured bleach on his dark clothes, black dye on his light ones and wrote "Fuck off" on all his vinyl albums with a pair of scissors (God he loved those albums!). Then I put the albums back in their sleeves, dried the clothes, packed it all up neatly and got the whole lot delivered. Slow release revenge.

During the rest of the year I had lots of comforting sex with the 2 remaining blokes (2 nights a week each kinda thing). It was lovely, and healing for all of us.

And when I discovered that my hair-trigger ex had run off with a woman who required a solid hour of oral sex before she'd permit penetration... Well, it makes me smile even now... She eventually joined a lesbian commune.

But, OP, I can't see any way you can ruin this wedding for your sister without being almost certain to hurt non-combatants, especially her poor innocent daughter. I'd leave it. Be the big, kind, grown up one. And fantasise. smile

I have never ever written my former boss (who bullied me so much i had to quit my job) first name and number on every bit of paper money I came across for about a year later (his number is no longer listed in white pages !)

and I have never, ever switched the batteries around (so + was on - side) on all the tv, dvd, video etc remotes to piss off an annoying flatmate (removing them would have been too obvious) he went spare !!
never ever wink

Pigsmummy Thu 07-Feb-13 17:32:37

Whatever you do it will impinge on the bride so don't. Your sister will go running to her daughter etc

appletarts Thu 07-Feb-13 21:50:10

Wow Writehand I think I have lived a very sheltered existence, 2 nights each a week! shock

armani Thu 07-Feb-13 22:26:20

I once found out a new guy I was seeing was actually married. I took great pleasure in wrecking his brand new car, that he was paying for on finance! I paint stripped the car, painted the windscreen with black gloss and sprayed the words 'peadophile' onto the doors. He lived in a very nice area and moved not long after!

Still makes me chuckle now!

MerlotAndMe Thu 07-Feb-13 22:41:13

Wow. at the paedophile bit.

WandaDoff Thu 07-Feb-13 22:42:03

I was just thinking that Merlot

BumBiscuits Thu 07-Feb-13 22:59:45

Armani, fuck's sake I hope no one knew it was you. You spelt paedophile incorrectly, what an embarrassment. shock

armani Thu 07-Feb-13 23:04:20

Hehe I'm on my phone atm, so apologise for the spelling mistake!
It might have been harsh, but this was a man who had wrecked my life - I had to leave my job after his wife phoned my boss and told everyone I'd stolen her husband. I had no idea he was married!

BumBiscuits Thu 07-Feb-13 23:11:55

Oh, well, that's okay then fuck's sake

I doused my ex's mattress with a good covering of powdered milk before I moved out and he moved the OW in. It gets absorbed into your pores as you sleep so you smell like sour milk the nect day. It probably helped that I left in July.

I have never regretted it,and still smile at the memory of a mutual friend confiding that ex's personal hygeine had become a talking point in the office the week after I moved

Bogeyface Fri 08-Feb-13 00:57:44

The car one just reminded me of what my sisters friend did, she got her brother to ring the police to report "his" car as stolen.

Her ex got pulled for days afterwards, and then got pulled for "spot checks" for months and months grin

jidelgin Fri 08-Feb-13 04:11:46

Rachel broke my heart and left me sad so when the doe eyed first year who had been hovering around us for weeks (she'd obviously seen the vultures circling and knew the end was nigh) asked me why we had broken up I told her "Rachel talked like a rapper when we were having sex. It was really off putting".

I demonstrated my point most helpfully with aggressive pointing, a few hyper-masculine gestures and the Salt n Pepa quote "Get up on this..."

It still makes me laugh! Nothing could have been further from the truth - Rachel was a card carrying dyed in the wool fully paid up vegan tree hugging whale saving feminist dyke!

raisah Fri 08-Feb-13 04:23:42

Be very nice and have a conversation with her in full view of all the wedding guests. She has two choices: to be pleasant in return or to be her normal self and cause a scene at her own daughters' wedding. She will be miserable all day trying to be nice as its too much effort.....

HeavenlyWineandRoses Fri 08-Feb-13 05:10:04

Four years after finding out my DH had a year-long affair, I still fantasise regularly about extracting revenge on the OW whose husband never knew about the affair. My fantasies usually involve the husband and letting him know his wife is not all she seems (they are one of these annoying couples whose Facebook photos and status reports suggest they are head over heels and the happiest, most united couple in the world). It's very hard knowing she has not suffered and that my life was turned upside down and that I continue to feel intense pain and sorrow about the whole episode.

I have always resisted playing out these fantasies on principle. Revenge is not healthy or healing even if it would briefly make me very happy. So, like me, enjoy fantasising but it's probably best for you if leave it at that.

What about wearing the same outfit? Or have your hair dyed a really whacky colour. Or as my cousin had to put up with, a crazy aunt wire her wedding dress to his wedding!

Chubfuddler Fri 08-Feb-13 05:33:04

Some of you sound utterly unhinged. Fortunately a good 50% of these anecdotes are probably completely invented.

GetOrf Fri 08-Feb-13 08:02:10

Fair enough that this is a jokey thread, but to send that text to a 16 year old kid effectively telling her her father is not who she thought it was is absolutely disgraceful and unforgivable. Did you not think of that poor 16 year old having to read that text and how she must have felt? You should be heartily ashamed of yourself, not bloody well proud and telling people as if it was a wonderful act of vengeance. Seriously, shame on you.

BattlingFanjos Fri 08-Feb-13 08:18:38

As someone who was maliciously reported to ss for sexual abuse on my son, yeah writing Paedophile on someone's door is great! Pretending they abuse children in the worst way imaginable and having people question you when it's all bollocks is HYSTERICAL!!!!

The lengths people will go to to make themselves feel better is sick. angry

Bogeyface Fri 08-Feb-13 11:02:17

Well mine aren't made up, and I stand by the one I did smile

Dignity was not an issue for the OW in my case, she wouldnt know dignity if it hit her in the tits, trust me on this, I have seen the photos.

Writehand Fri 08-Feb-13 18:28:04

Someone I know (not a friend. I stress not a friend...) put up a timeline on Facebook - a countdown. It said "10 days to my birthday", then "9 days & counting", etc". and promised that on her birthday a really big secret would be revealed.

She wasn't kidding. Come the day she revealed that her ex was the father of his brother's DS. On FB. As publicly as possible. Don't know if the brother knew, but the DS definitely didn't. So a 15 y.o. boy found out from FB that his uncle was his dad. And, by coincidence, this was in the same week that the poor lad had come out as gay.

I challenged her, asked why she thought it was OK to do something like that. She simply couldn't see anyone could criticise her. Her view was that it was her ex's and SIL's fault -- they'd had the affair, made the baby -- all she was doing was breaking the silence. She wanted revenge on her ex for his DV, and she resented his family for not supporting her.

She knew this secret was because her ex confided in her while they were together. She also had his child. So her son and the victim in this are half-siblings. If that poor kid had harmed himself it would have been her fault. I think it was the worst thing I've ever known about personally. I mean you read about things like this, but it actually happened.

Chubfuddler Fri 08-Feb-13 19:38:48

That is unspeakable. I believe you but I cannot understand the mentality behind her behaviour.

Writehand Fri 08-Feb-13 19:44:03

Me neither. I was so revolted and I felt she was quite with morals or thought for what she was doing.

I had my revenge on someone -- I described it earlier -- but it was straight, "back at you" destruction to someone who'd wrecked my world without a care. It wasn't cruel.

Bogeyface Fri 08-Feb-13 21:40:08

I have already posted the revenge I did and that I know of, but they didnt involve anyone but the person who was the revengee. Using a child to get back at someone is utterly disgusting, and that goes for both of the stories on here.

There are some things that you just dont do. I was royally fucked over by a so called "friend" years ago. I know, because she told me at the time, that her eldest child isnt her (now ex) husbands child. But the DD doesnt know that and although I have been told that her ex H has had his suspicions over the years, he never said anything. I could use that information to get back at my ex friend, but I would never dream of doing it. I would destroy two lives if I did that, and that would make me far worse than anyone who ever did anything against me.

Its the lowest of the low.

Writehand Sun 10-Feb-13 12:20:03

Its the lowest of the low. - yeah, pretty much, Bogeyface. I was chilled by her complete lack of guilt over what she'd done. I think she sees it as a war between her and her ex & his family, so anything she does in this context to the family as a whole is OK.

fackinell Sun 10-Feb-13 17:06:00

My ex fancied (and as i found out later) was shagging around with a minor local Am-Dram 'celeb'. I lined the cat litter tray with OW's newspaper cutting and feigned innocence when he noticed her smiling through a pile of cat shit!! grin

Roseformeplease Sun 10-Feb-13 17:24:55

Me and my friend "Naughty Jeanette" (who, if she is out there, I would love to hear from) worked in a very, very dull insurance office years ago. We were bored shitless. There was a man there, let's call him Dave (can't remember his name) who spent a lot of the time telling us how important he was, boasting about his job. He had a special job. You got free gifts with every insurance policy: kettle, toaster, radio etc. His job was.....drum roll......when the gadgets were sent back to the company because they broke because they were shit, he had to plug them in and check if they worked.

For this, he required a degree. He got a new car and told us all about it, in detail, daily, hourly (in between working those plugs like a pro). We, however, did not (yet) have degrees, nor were we driving Ford Sierras or Boasting about their perfect new paint job. So, Naughty Jeanette and I absolutely did not advertise his brand new car for sale at a much reduced price in the local paper with the immortal line, "Bodywork tatty, hence low price". He was incandescent and, pre Internet, had to conduct an old fashioned legwork type of investigation. He was told it was two blondes..........but there are lots of blondes. He took dozens and dozens of calls.....

I loved Naughty Jeanette.

I may have gone into someone's room in halls of residence while they were away for a weekend,sprinkled grass seed into the shape of a penis and watered it.

They kept me up every night for 4 months while I was suffering with chronic fatigue. I'd begged them not to play music after midnight, cried a lot and reported him to night security. The latter didn't work because one of the security guards went into his room and listened to music and smoked pot with him.

I enjoyed the thought of him having to mow his carpet.

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