Quick 'what would you do' answer needed to a neighbour noise problem.

(62 Posts)
alabasterangel Sun 03-Feb-13 00:20:33

Sorry.

Saturday night I'm probably asking for trouble. I hope this isn't just another crap neighbour noise thing but need an instant answer as to what to do.

Victorian terraced house, been here 4 years. Had minor problems with noise from neighbours since day 1, spoke with them about it asked the DH in for a drink and he acknowledged noise travels easily and even said he'd had to speak with previous owner of our house as at the time (4+ years ago) when their kids were small and the lady had had some parties which had caused him some problems. Abated for a while but not long, when it started again and we asked again, (radio noise all day every day mainly) he got quite aggressive and DH backed down, we both just want a peaceful existence. At the time we did investigate with the council but made the decision not to pursue as we don't want to be here forever and don't want hassle of declaring the problem when selling (bad I know, sorry).

But tonight, for the third month running, it appears to be 'their turn' to have a dinner party with their friends. I would guess 10-12 adults (can see into their kitchen window!) - they have 3 kids and sounds like lots invited so guessing 15 kids too. It's really disruptive. Been going on since 7pm. My two (3yo and 18 months) have been woken several times. No sign of abating, sounds like some sort of games going on lots of shrieking, jumping and thumping, slamming doors, howling and shouting. I can't sleep through it. DH has decamped to DS's floor (tiny room so I can't join him, plus I insisted he went as he has to get up earlier tomorrow).

Last time and the time before they had these gatherings it was 3am before it stopped.

Do I call the police? Is that trivial? "Sorry but these numpties are stopping me sleeping with their partying"..... Sounds so crap. Sure they've got better things to deal with on a Saturday night? But it's really annoying and more worryingly I don't want it to keep happening on a monthly basis. Don't suggest speaking to them again; they are not very reasonable people.

Any ideas?

WorraLiberty Sun 03-Feb-13 00:24:34

On a monthly basis?

Sorry but YABU

They're enjoying friends in their own home...not holding an all weekend rave.

It's the nature of terraced houses I'm afraid.

HoHoHoNoYouDont Sun 03-Feb-13 00:28:36

If it was me I'd be tempted to go round with the baby in my arms and read them the riot act about them disturbing the kids however as alcohol is no doubt involved it's not the most sensible idea.

I think you'll just have to ride it out tonight and then early tomorrow knock on their door and tell them that it's really not acceptable and could they please keep the volume own at future parties. DON'T be intimidated by them.

Let this be their last warning, then report them next time.

sukysue Sun 03-Feb-13 00:28:46

No don't call the police it will make matters worse!Sorry op but looks like you need to move to a detatched house ASAP.

elizaregina Sun 03-Feb-13 00:28:49

You poor thing.

I really feel for you. Is there music at all?

For this - I would persoanlly advising on moving really quikcly and never going with terrace again.

I sympahtise its horrid and it invades every aspect of your life.

Our problems with ours were daily - and not with a family but with all sorts moving in and out....it got quite bad.

I think however after 12 if its a breach of the peace etc the police can come round...i wonder if neighbours on other side can hear it.

also you said he could hear radio from previous people?

sometimes people forgeot what its like to be disturbed, if they are going to be up till 3am -without being petty - what about a little loud music from your side - starting quite early? something with a good deep base?

i know this sounds petty - but honeslty - people do forget, if they had the termerity to knock on your door to complain

" I am sooo sorry, its just we had a really late night last night and needed something really livley to wake us up this morning. "

HoHoHoNoYouDont Sun 03-Feb-13 00:30:51

" I am sooo sorry, its just we had a really late night last night and needed something really livley to wake us up this morning. "

I love that idea.

timidviper Sun 03-Feb-13 00:30:54

I'm sorry, I know it is horrid when you are being kept awake but if it is only once a month it is hardly constant.

You may well find, as your children get older, that you would like to have a social life too. Imagine how you would feel if your neighbours complained every time you had friends round.

I'm afraid YABU. Think you need to save up for a detached house grin

WorraLiberty Sun 03-Feb-13 00:33:22

And thinking about it OP...

With kids your age, your neighbours nights would probably have been disturbed more than once a month.

And if they haven't been, they probably will be when your kids are teenagers.

I think as it's only once a month, you've definitely got the better deal.

I understand it's annoying though.

alabasterangel Sun 03-Feb-13 00:39:35

Thanks.

The problem is in part retribution. The first time we were friendly and asked to discuss it all seemed okay, and he acknowledged the houses were terrible for noise, but almost straight away they started doing some weird (childish, not worth going in to!) parking stuff. The second time we asked we got woken up at 6am from that day on with a stupidly loud clock radio against our wall. I can't be doing with stupid games like that and hence going round tomorrow (or tonight) really probably wouldn't do much good or have any effect. If I hoovered at 6am tomorrow or something churlish like that, I'd probably just get louder radio and louder partying next time.

I can't deal with the immature nature of it all. Maybe we just give too much from our side, I don't know, I'm always turning the tv down and telling the kids to calm it down. Maybe I shouldn't bother but I'm always fearful of what we will get back in return. I 'dared' to hang a picture on the joined wall once when they were home (i normally have to wait until they are out) and it was acknowledged by several hours of thumping music.

Absolutely no doubt about a detached house. Just can't move for another 2 years, finances will not allow it!!!

HoHoHoNoYouDont Sun 03-Feb-13 00:41:34

They sound like a bunch of psychos.

IneedAsockamnesty Sun 03-Feb-13 00:41:57

So why don't you once a month the day after these gatherings get up at 6am mow your lawn/ Hoover whilst singing a really crap song over and over loudly.

May take a few try's but should sort it.

ihearsounds Sun 03-Feb-13 00:50:34

Its not a police matter, its noise control within your council. Google or call town hall for the number. They have an out of hours service, and generally come out and talk to you. They listen to the noise within your property and then go and knock on the persons door and leave them with a notice about noise.

Noise disruption doesn't have to be after 11pm. It can occur at any time of the day or night. It is more about the noise being a constant disruption to others.

I have had lots of dealing with noise pollution (had some vile neighbours) and would love to have had a monthly disturbance.

One of the things that gets tricky is what is not acceptable to them, is acceptable to you. In the case of putting pictures, drilling/banging is fine to you, but to others it can be a nuisance.

WorraLiberty Sun 03-Feb-13 00:54:05

I don't think the noise team would come out for a once a month dinner party to be honest...well not this council anyway.

There are people here whose neighbours make every day and night a living nightmare with loud music and anti social behaviour...and yet it can take ages for the noise team to start monitoring.

alabasterangel Sun 03-Feb-13 00:55:14

Yes worra and timid, I'm sure our kids DO make noise, but they have four as opposed to our two and their youngest is only 4 so they have gone through sleepless nights and so on not much different to ours in age. We 'experienced' their youngest and her sleepless nights (when I was pregnant with our eldest!) and would never, ever complain or feel put up out by that; you can't help that noise but this is deliberate!

And we do have a social life, we do have people over, have dinners (not Billy no mates, honest!) but we don't slam doors, thump about playing what sounds like a game of tag or revved up chasing, scream and shriek, play loud music or have 15 kids running up and down the stairs at midnight (yes, it's still going on, they have more stamina than me!). Maybe I'm not describing the noise well enough; it's not subtle. It's not 'switch the tele on and you'd drown it out' noise - it's much, much louder. Yes there is music and in another room, next to my daughters room against her wall there is a piano being thrashed by several of the children. Neighbours the other side are in Spain for the winter unfortunately.

LesBOFerables Sun 03-Feb-13 00:55:25

Couldn't you just knock and ask them to lower the volume?

MrsDimples Sun 03-Feb-13 00:56:45

Ring your council noise team.

Pan Sun 03-Feb-13 01:00:27

2nd the council resources. The police may not be interested right now or at all. But it's unreasonable stuff and it's the reponsibility of the council to deal with this.

alabasterangel Sun 03-Feb-13 01:02:06

Ihearsounds - yes, I know about much worse things. My oldest friend has had to go to court with a horrendous noise problem so I do appreciate this is not in the same league. I hope you are sorted now.

nailak Sun 03-Feb-13 01:12:38

i think it is reasonable for people to have a party once a month. If you dont like it you should live in a farm.

The extra cars would be more of an annoyance to me (if there were 10-12 adults + same number DC as guests).
Have they blocked your drive at all?
If you had to go out as an emergency would you be able to?

I wouldn't be able to mow my lawn tomorrow (lawn practically underwater) but I could get the strimmer out.
And YY to some intensive Hoovering.

BumBiscuits Sun 03-Feb-13 01:22:51

I had problem neighbours similar to yours.

They complained about our noise first. The noise of us walking in our home outwith their waking hours.

They were a family similar to us but their complaint was that we still walked around for half an hour to an hour after they had gone to bed and got up half an hour before them. So 11.30-12 to their 11 and 7am to their 7.30. But actually they needed 8.5 hours sleep. At the time our youngest was a few months old so we were also up during the night with her.

We took notice of their first complaint and tiptoed about for a few months. They complained again that yes it was better than before but still not good enough. DH told them that fair enough but they couldn't dictate to us our bedtimes.

They responded by starting parking wars. For example moving cars 3 feet to stop us being able to park out front. Then they started throwing objects against the party wall at 12pm and 6.30am and random times during the night.... it escalated and escalated, to the point where the bloke would drive at me in the street if I was getting in the car swerving at the last minute, then they sold their house. The day they moved out the husband shouted abuse in the street to me with much swearing. Others witnessed it and as a result he's being charged by the police.

My advice is to write everything down in a diary and complain to your CPO and Environmental Dept. If they're going to go psycho it is good to have a record of everything.

The police have said to me that I should have reported each event as it happened. Even though there were no witnesses, mostly, I should have still had everything recorded with them. Ex neighbour will end up with a small fine and a record, but had I reported everything as it had gone on he would have had harrassment charges etc.

Don't let your neighbours spoil your happiness.

FannyBazaar Sun 03-Feb-13 01:23:29

I think you have to decide if you want to make a formal complaint and involve the council thus having to declare it when you move or try to find another way around it.

I had noisy neighbours for a long time, they not only annoyed me but the house on the other side. I put off doing anything because I thought it might affect me if I wanted to sell up but in the end realised that anyone visiting the house for viewing would likely hear it. I kept noise diaries and sent them to the housing association who manage the house. They used to retaliate with counter claims to the council/housing association about us which were totally inaccurate and abuse of other neighbours who complained.

I make a point now of speaking to both sides and always telling them to let me know if they ever have a problem with noise from us, this makes it clear to them that we are aware of the problem of terraced houses. One set of neighbours does have parties every now and again but they don't seem to go on for ever. If it's someone's birthday then it's not going to be happening all the time.

Try moving furniture around so that you have solid things like wardrobes next to the noisy neighbours and no beds next to the adjoining wall. My DS gets the room adjoining the house where the noisy neighbours used to be as he was not disturbed by it. If you think it might work, ask them about moving speakers/radio/tv etc away from your wall.

alabasterangel Sun 03-Feb-13 06:46:55

I want to scream. It finally stopped at 2am. The crescendo was the glass recycling (one bottle at a time a cheer when it was done). Now at 6am it's started up again, kids smashing the piano to shreds, DH is threatening to go round. I've made him promise to walk away if anything nasty is said, for a start they'd love that, and the only thing I can hope is that they are embarrassed in front of the people they obviously have staying there.

Yes, there are cars. Yes she blocks me in and does ridiculous things with parking. Bumbiscuit it sounds remarkably similar, frankly I think the woman is unhinged and her fella just goes along with it (he worships the ground she walks on). Woe betide anytime parks in front of her house on a public road, she has a meltdown and we get music for hours, even if the car is nothing whatsoever to do with us (I.e. someone visiting someone else's house!). I'm so concerned by her that I don't dare let my car overhang her frontage by 1 inch and jump out and intercept anyone coming to ours who might park there, even the tesco delivery! It's a public road, anyone can park there, anyone can park in front of ours, we just have to deal with it, but she has an absolute trauma.

Ugh, you poor thing! I have no advice, sorry, I just wanted to express sympathy, it sounds miserable sad

HollyBerryBush Sun 03-Feb-13 07:04:58

Invite your local Hells Angels chapter round for a BBQ!

Seriusly - 2am then again at 6am?

I would have been knocking.

Everyone has the right to enjoy their own property (within reason) but so do you.

If you perceive they are childish over these things, like blocking in and alarm clocks against walls then you aren't on the best terms with them anyway.

If you go to the police or council you have to declare is should you want to move

Cosmosim Sun 03-Feb-13 07:19:08

Sorry but police will tell you to ring council for a noise problem. Council will send a team out (mine woke me up at 4am, the party stopped at 3am.) who have to witness the noise and measure it. Or they may leave the little device for you to take readings with (doubt for once a month). Then if they agree it's unreasonable / unacceptable - they send letters. Or knock on door (but can't do anything if no answer of course). The grand finale? A fine. One friend went through this withe upstairs tenants. The fine was £50, upstairs laughed and had a noisy party to celebrate. hmm

alabasterangel Sun 03-Feb-13 07:40:11

So if I contact the local cpo (as someone suggested) then they won't do anything or speak to them? My nagging mind is saying we shouldn't just let it go; otherwise it'll keep happening. This isn't the first time and I doubt it'll be the last.

HollyBerryBush Sun 03-Feb-13 07:52:58

The police will tell you to call the council (enviro health) but they will come out with a council officer to tell them to keep the noise down. This is a 24 hour service - but be mindful if you are phoning at 1am/2am etc this is when the city centres chuck out and the police will be scooping up drunks and breaking up brawls.

they don't tell them who called - although it would be fairly obvious from the noise you describe, that it isn't going to be heard anywhere other than next door - ie you.

HollyBerryBush Sun 03-Feb-13 07:53:51

The plastic plod however are able to call in and have a nice chat, but have absolutely no power whatsoever - therefore it could exacerbate the situation

alabasterangel Sun 03-Feb-13 08:27:54

I feel so stuck. I feel ridiculous on one hand because its not ACDC 24 hours a day on high volume, but it's obviously very disturbing and comes without warning. It's not a birthday or whatever (she puts loads of banners and stuff up for anyone's birthday and has the cards on the windowsill, there are none of those going on now). As I say you can see into their kitchen from our bedroom, and I can count now 12 kids round the table and more elsewhere in the house as there is still piano etc elsewhere. There are various adults standing about and 4 cars outside I don't recognise, so in a terraced house it's a considerable amount of people. This exact same scenario happened once in early December, once between Xmas and new year (both of which we said we should just suck up as they may have been Xmas festivities) and then again now.

I do totally appreciate that there are people who have a hellish time with neighbours, but what can you do about this moderate stuff which is non the less really intrusive? I can go to the council and they won't do anything much, or I can go to the police who won't have the power to do anything. That sucks!!!

HollyBerryBush Sun 03-Feb-13 08:37:40

Some people are naturally gregarious - to them that is part and parcel of 'normal' life - our neighbours are a lovely young couple, they often have quite loud BBQs in the summer - but they all move into the conservatory at about 9.30.

It doesn't bother me other than I want to be invited however a few doors down has a teenage boy who have rip roaring parties everytime his parents go away for the weekend. I have to stop myself storming in at 1am with a pair off scissors and cutting the plug off his equipment!

I have called enviro on the then teenage girls over the road who used to hire a DJ and have bloody raves till stupid o'clock when I wanted to sleep. Fortunately they have moved out now grin

No sign of abating, sounds like some sort of games going on lots of shrieking, jumping and thumping, slamming doors, howling and shouting with that and the bottle breaking, I might be tempted to do a 999 call and report a possible DV ..... I mean, you aren't to know its a party are you? you think it's a fight ....

FannyBazaar Sun 03-Feb-13 08:37:40

Keep a noise diary to send to the council, write any noise you hear and the date and the time ie children running inside, alarm clock, door slamming, parties. If it is persistent noise, even if not loud it is still worth recording. When the neighbours on the other side get back, ask them how they feel and if it is also a problem for them encourage them to also keep a noise diary.

Do the noisy neighbours own the house?

carabos Sun 03-Feb-13 08:40:50

I have neighbours exactly like yours. Their thing is drumming and playing the guitar all hours of the day and night. If that wasn't bad enough, the only thing he can play on either instrument is the first few bars of Smoke on the Water.

They also have three dogs which bark almost constantly, usually set off by the DW shrieking at the kids to be quiet! I have truly never come across people who make so much noise.

We don't complain, mainly because the husband is a vicious, violent piece of shit who loves a fight. Unfortunately because we are in a terrace, other people do com

carabos Sun 03-Feb-13 08:41:54

Oops - do complain and we get the retaliation because for some reason he thinks it must be us.

cupcake78 Sun 03-Feb-13 08:58:26

Buy earplugs for night time! We have erratically noisy neighbours and have learned its earplugs or limited sleep. We have teenagers who inhabit the garage of their house near us and have parties. I can understand why the parents have put the kids in the garage sad. The summer holidays are hell, parents out all day, kids think its Ibiza time. If it continues in excess this year I will be saying something to them especially as baby due in summer.

Our other neighbours are known for getting drunk in an afternoon and MR becomes very vocal and argumentative outside his house once darkness comeshmm. His Teenagers love to play loud music when mum and dad are out. People drive up to the house beep their horn 4-5 times a day regardless of time and they sit outside in the cars, playing musicconfused.

The police are aware if him but its not due to us. His older daughter actually reported him one nightblush. I don't blame her!

We have been known to get up early and not keep the noise downwink. Particularly after a late nightgrin

It's what comes with having neighbours, it could be an old deaf couple with the TV too loud or a barking dog etc. It's a risk you take with neighbours. We are trying to move house smile

comingintomyown Sun 03-Feb-13 09:00:13

Oh god this is sending shudders down my spine as I think I would get quite obsessive about noise like that

Not sure what you can do as they sound wholly unreasonable , so depressing there are so many vile people around from all these posts from those experiencing similar problems

alabasterangel Sun 03-Feb-13 09:16:24

Fanny - they own. So do we. The other neighbours are away 50% of the time (place abroad) and I have asked in the past. They say they don't hear 'as much' because their rooms that join are the hallway and landing, whereas our joining rooms are the living room, front room, two of the bedrooms and partially the kitchen.

I do get obsessive, and I get very anxious about it too. I hadn't been for ages but this morning, sleep deprived and frustrated, I can't think about anything else (and I've got a storming headache).

Cupcake; earplugs are not an option with a baby to listen out for!

survivingwinter Sun 03-Feb-13 09:59:46

YANBU that sounds like a horrendous situation to me and I can imagine getting very stressed about it if it was me.

What about writing them a letter to try and appeal to (any) better nature they may have underneath all this silly game playing and retaliation they are doing?

Fwiw we have a detached house but still have problems with noise from a neighbour who plays loud music outside all through the summer so there's no getting away from it unless you're in the middle of nowhere!

mablemurple Sun 03-Feb-13 11:14:51

IMO and E you have two choices - either put up with it or move. They have no 'better nature' otherwise they wouldn't be playing silly games, and no-one with any consideration would let kids rampage around the house all night and start again early in the morning. Any action you take with the council will take time during which the noise and harrassment will continue (and may get worse) and there is no guarantee that you will be successful. Even if you were successful, you would still have to live next door to these people.
Only you can decide which path to follow, but if it starts to take over your whole life and you dread coming home, then my advice would be to move. I speak from experience, as you can probably tell, and moving was the best thing we ever did.
Sorry if this sounds really negative. It's a horrible situation to be in, and I really sympathise.

Mimishimi Sun 03-Feb-13 11:25:35

YABU in that you did buy a terraced house. We have a flat and our neighbors have frequent parties. I guess I tune it out ( or join in . That said, they are pretty considerate and turn the music down by eleven or so. If you are feeling standby about it, just wake up early the next morning and start playing some flamenco or. Bi of Wagner grin

Mimishimi Sun 03-Feb-13 11:26:12

Sorry, autocorrect. A bit of Wagner.

ReturnOfEmeraldGreen Sun 03-Feb-13 11:37:09

Sorry, but I also think you should move. Sell the house and get rid, even if it means moving to a house that isn't 100% what you want (but FGS don't buy another terraced!) or renting for a while. Even if you live in the South East, consider that the current market is likely unsustainable.

I do really sympathise, my neighbour problems were actually less bad than yours but it really messed with my head and affected my life majorly for the short time it went on. It's insidious and wears you down. ElizaRegina and I both posted about our experiences on this thread (I was CommunistMoon):

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/a1473153-to-be-concerned-scared-about-my-neighbours

Mia4 Sun 03-Feb-13 12:00:36

carabos I would complain if i were you, chances are the others complaining don't have enough evidence and if direct neighbours seem ok with it the council put it on the back burner. You're already getting it in the neck because they think you've complained so any more complaints neighbours will come back on you anyway. Might as well at least have a word with Safer Neighbourhoods about the whole issue, might speed up getting them dealt with.

We had a bad neighbour and took him to court, he was evicted. After that all our neighbours in the street told us how great it was he was gone and how most of them didn't want to complain because they were scared of being his next target. The few that did complain used to blame it on us and he got worse to us. They wondered why we wanted nothing to do with them afterwards. The council and police told us that had the other direct neighbours complained as well then it would have happened quicker-very frustrating because we were subject to months more abuse then we would have been otherwise.

mablemurple Sun 03-Feb-13 12:08:08

I don't see why buying a terraced house automatically means that you can't complain about inconsiderate amounts of noise hmm. The neighbours also bought a terraced house, which means that they too need to act in a reasonable manner, which clearly they are not doing. And retaliation just does not work - you are not dealing with rational people here.

Mia4 Sun 03-Feb-13 12:08:13

I've read the whole thing OP and it sounds like they have issues, here's what you can do:

1) Call environmental services at the council

2) Keep a log of all of this and any other antisocial incidents and call 101 when the noise is bad during 'unsociable hours' if it's that noisy then 101 will hear and have it recorded on their system. (this is what was suggested to us with our neighbour, hence why we didn't need to get recording equipment in).

3) Ignore them, have no contact with them from now except via letter if you are wanting to complain directly.

Keeping the log will tell you and council/Safer neighbourhoods if it's they will do investigating into OP.

I sympathise, my neighbours were awful, it was a hellish 2 years with daily and nightly harassment and noise- I was threatened with violence, more abuse and sexual violence by the man as was my friends. Visitors were also harrassed. They were cautioned multiple times and in the end we called 999 because we were scared and had been threatened/abused and kept awake 4 nights on the go. 999 were brilliant, e explained the situation, the pulled up around the corner and waled over hearing the abuse hurled at us. When the rung the buzzer the people must have thought it was us because the police got a mouth of abuse and threats of violence through the intercom, they arrested them there and then-went to court and the fuckers were given eviction notice and restraining order.

BinksToEnlightenment Sun 03-Feb-13 12:22:32

I completely disagree that the OP should put up with it because she bought a terraced home. So did her neighbours. They should shut up and have some respect for other people.

YANBU!

BumBiscuits Sun 03-Feb-13 12:26:02

My neighbour used to jump up and down with rage if he came home and my car was parked in front of his house. It's a public highway. We were soooooooo happy when they moved.

BumBiscuits Sun 03-Feb-13 12:27:06

I think the sporadic parties aren't so much of a problem as the other stuff.

elizaregina Sun 03-Feb-13 12:41:53

it depends where you live as to what EH services you get - we certainly dont get a 24 hour service.

with the police you can call non emergency after midnight or even late - 11pm, and speak to them, if they have someone free they can send someone round.

its called a breach of the peace.

it depends how busy they are etc. Also if you can get another family to ring the police at night - then they should def come out. talk to other neighbours they must be getting disturbed also.

re council - hopefuly your eh will be good, ours was disgusting - I had to kick up a huge massive stink to do anything.

and when you do your official diary with them - they will let them know!

so thanks to this utterly bizzare procedure which favours the noise perpetrators is - they know youy are monitoring them, they go quiet. you have nothing tp put in your diary -and then they have nothing to complain about to them!!!

elizaregina Sun 03-Feb-13 12:50:17

we share the same party walls as you do op.

i remeber another problem house on my road had party till 4 am or something - i couldnt sleep in my own bedroom and this house was about 7 away down the road!! I was on the phone to 101 and eventually got someone out.

the next day all the neighbours were saying how they were soo scared of claling 101 and they werent sure if they should.

i went to all of them and said CALL IT!!! If one lone voice is calling its harder for them to actually do something!!!! the more people call and dont sit and suffer in silence the more likely the police are likley to understand the nature of the problem.

the police can prioritse their own work - if they ahvea a stabbing to go to -= they will go there .

do diary - kick up a sttink try and stop it. even if those in spain didnt hear it - the ones next on thier side or yours may have heard it.

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea Sun 03-Feb-13 13:01:34

Have you looked at sound proofing between the houses?

soundstop.co.uk/solutions/wall_solutions/

Disclaimer, I have no connection with that company, it just came up in google.

Even when you come to move you will struggle to sell with poor sound insulation.

MooseyFate Sun 03-Feb-13 13:06:08

I second the sound-proofing idea. Money well spent IMO. Really good wax ear-plugs, with a baby-monitor right next to the bed so that you will hear it despite the plugs?

alabasterangel Sun 03-Feb-13 13:07:07

Thank you all. Agreed, it's their overall unreasonable behaviour. We have no issues with the other side; we hear them, I'm sure they hear us. I often ask her if she can hear our kids and say she must say if there is ever anything which is annoying. We hear her little dog when she is out, she constantly makes apology for this too which she doesn't need to do and i dismiss it when she tries to say sorry; it's not all day every day and its not deliberate, but we are both 'reasonable' adults and know we could have an adult conversation. I do appreciate that living in a house which is joined to another house is going to mean you hear them a bit, but being kept awake till the early hours, woken up at a ridiculous time, being unable to even approach them and have an adult conversation (not to mention the stupid parking thing) is beyond acceptable boundaries.

I've tried to speak to her, I've tried to be friendly, I always say hello or smile if we are coming/going at the same time. My DD always says hello to her DDs and I always do the same. The only time she's talked to us (when we first moved in) was to tell me she wasn't intending to live round here for long, that her parents have 'lots of land' and they wanted to build on it, and that 'people round here' weren't her type of people and she wouldn't be here forever. She was very curt then, and since we approached them about their radio noise years ago, she won't acknowledge us at all.

The parking is quite astonishing. I come home to an empty street, and obviously park in front of our house taking great care not to encroach on her frontage at all. She comes home, much bigger car than mine, and still an otherwise empty street will park her car and inch, inch, inch, inch her bumper to mine until you can't get a piece of paper between the two. Other neighbours have commented on it and asked us what she is up to! There have been several times when another car visiting theirs then does the same the other side and I can't get out. Luckily there never HAS been an emergency, but what if there was?

My lovely old chimney sweep called the other week and dared to park in front of her house. She came home while he was unloading, screamed at him to move his car, told him that 'people like him don't belong round here' and that he was 'in her parking space' (public road, no spaces!) he told her to get stuffed.

We would loose a lot of money that we can't afford to loose if we moved, we don't have it. We brought at a bad time, would have to sell for less than we brought it for, and we'd struggle to find even the 'expenses' of moving and would never be able to afford detached anyway, so a bit stuck there!

All very stressful! Long, sorry!

mummymeister Sun 03-Feb-13 13:07:31

i used to be an EHo for 20+ years specialising in noise pollution. a couple of points. never retaliate. tit for tat noise always, always gets out of hand and gets really nasty. i have known it escalate to stabbings, killing pets, nervous breakdowns. please dont go down this road. you have two choices: either you put up with it and find strategies to cope either within your home or you move elsewhere or you make a formal complaint to your local Councils env. health dept. the definition of what is a statutory noise nuisance is broad so something disturbing once a month could fall under this definition. If it does you will be into keeping noise diaries, possibly using a late night call out service if your council has one on the night of the parties or monitoring equipment that you self use. whether this is disturbing enough to go down this route is entirely up to you and how much it gets on your nerves. The police do not deal with noise nuisance. it is not a breach of the peace they will only get involved if it escalates to threats etc so dont waste your time calling them out when the parties are in full swing. ultimately you have to weigh these things up but please please dont go down the retaliation route as you could find yourself being complained about as a noise nuisance by either these neighbours or others.

Cornycabernet Sun 03-Feb-13 13:08:08

This sounds awful but I think you're probably best to ignore the noise as they seem the type to seek revenge if you complain to the council. Then move when you can.

alabasterangel Sun 03-Feb-13 13:12:52

Thank you mummymesiter, noted. No I never have retaliated. So many time I would have loved to thump on the walls or play loud music back, but it never gets anywhere I know. Your advice is helpful, thank you.

Lynned Sun 03-Feb-13 13:20:13

My sympathy. Our neighbours are the same, and the parties are more frequent in summer, and kids screaming in the garden, as well as loud music. I once phoned at 3 asking them to turn music down, they did and then had a loud discussion over whether they would get a letter from the council. I also retaliated by calling them at 7am from a mobile, and then put the phone down.

PessaryPam Sun 03-Feb-13 16:35:04

ReturnOfEmeraldGreen Sun 03-Feb-13 11:37:09 Sorry, but I also think you should move.

Indeed you should move and sell to the worst possible neighbours for them grin

FannyBazaar Sun 03-Feb-13 20:19:08

The soundproofing works best when installed in the house with the noise! We had an extra panel installed in our living room when the house was renovated and put back the cupboard under the stairs (the space had been open) this helped to some extent but probably helps more with keeping my noise in. Even the builders commented on finding the neighbours noisy. Carpets in the noisy house also help to reduce noise. Cavity wall insulation may be a possibility if there is a cavity.

I think I did have a complaint from my previous noisy neighbours about parking in front of the house, but Mr Noisy complained to my ex (man to man like) and not me despite the fact that I was the only one who drives!

elizaregina Sun 03-Feb-13 20:28:05

OP

The police will come out - if its bad and past a certain time. I know this because I have had to call them several times one for a party at 8pm!! The operator could hear how loud it was and said she would do her best to get them out - and SHE DID,they came out and closed it down.

Another time for the party described before and for one or two other things.

alabasterangel Sun 03-Feb-13 21:17:07

I've dug out the local cpo's email. Ironically I've met her a few times, I used to help out with events at the park at the end of the road, and the CPO used to be there, so I might just email her in a friendly way and ask for her opinion. Don't suppose it would hurt?

It's gone on too long. It's getting insane. Our car hasn't moved since Friday (went out on foot yesterday!) but their huge beasty vehicle has moved several times and despite again an otherwise empty street, she has parked so close to my car (would guess, without exaggerating that its less than 2 inches gap!) that I can't get the buggy out to use for our DS for the walk to DDs school tomorrow without moving my car first.

It's so purile, and I'm shattered. I've thought of not much else today, and have been so tired from lack of sleep that I really snapped at dd earlier for something that wasn't fully warranted. How is it fair that I'm so worn out from them and getting anxious about stuff that it affects how I behave with our children? That it itself makes me so sad......

We inevitably leave our houses at much the same time in the mornings. I'm not sure i can't say something, not vile or rude or aggressive, but i feel such a wimp letting it just slide....

Mia4 Mon 04-Feb-13 20:24:33

OP, you aren't a wimp at all and actually it will piss them off more not to get a reaction out of you. That's why they are dong this, to get one and in a sense to feel that ego boost and sense of control. Sick but that's how it is with cunts like this.

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