to want my boyfriends lizard to die?

(81 Posts)
flaggybannel Thu 31-Jan-13 22:50:01

sorry, i know i will sound coldharted and i am a pet lover but i really dont like my bf's lizard!
I often go and stay at his flat for a few nights and he has this lizard that drives me crazy.
I dont like its beady eyes. It costs him a fortune for special lights for this mahooosive tank it lives in on around 10hours a day, plus its heatmat thats on pretty constantly too.
It lives on a diet of boiled eggs that it likes to leave to rot a bit first in the tank for a couple of days and poor bald baby mice that have to be kept in the freezer and defrosted. Boak. It also likes to leave these to rot before eating. It does eat fruit- when it feels like it.
The tank is so big the only place for it is in the bedroom, special light flicks on timer around 8am, tank and contents start to stink around 8.05am and continues throught the day.
Mostly the lizard spends its time sulking in its cave and watchin us with said beady eyes. My bf spends a lot of time worried about its lack of eating, shedding, pooing, exercise etc etc but its in robust health and is expected to live about 20years.
Its around 3-4ft now and expected to get bigger.
The twice it has had run of the flat while i have been there it has either ignored me or snapped at me.
Its not really a pet in my opinion as its actually dangerous to feed and should be done with some sort of steel tongs!
They are grumpy beasts and are known to dislike being handled.
Am i being u to want it to just feck off? Or to go live on a nice reptile farm somewhere?
Before anyone gets all judgey, i am well aware i have no right to ask/tell/beg my bf to get rid and wouldn dream of it either! Guess i just wanted to rant.

TheSmallClanger Thu 31-Jan-13 22:55:11

YABU. It was there before you.

Big herps can be a bloody nightmare to handle, I'll grant you that, and it does sound very big - what species is it?

Bearded dragons are quite good fun. They like to explore and run up the curtains, like kittens.

TheSmallClanger Thu 31-Jan-13 22:56:23

Oh, and there is such a thing as reptile tongs, for handling and feeding. If it's that big and vicious, your BF should have some.

Bottleoffish Thu 31-Jan-13 22:57:04

Is it a Monitor? I would assume that your boyfriend is an experienced keeper if he owns one of these and it sounds like he has the right set up for it.

YABU anyway, you don't even live together. Thank your lucky stars he's not like most reptile keepers, who have a whole house full of reptiles. It's obviously a judge of character if it snapped at you. What sort of person wants an animal to die?! hmm

quoteunquote Thu 31-Jan-13 22:57:47

get your BF to go on here, so he can get good advice and stop worrying.

What type of lizard?

drinkyourmilk Thu 31-Jan-13 22:58:43

Lol. You've just described my bearded dragon. Except he doesnt get eggs. He gets live locusts and crickets and morio worms. Oh and the other million reptiles we have. Cost a bleeding fortune! However I love them, handle them most days and clean up after them without too much heaving.
I don't think yabu. Lizards are not everyones cup of tea.

flaggybannel Thu 31-Jan-13 23:05:06

I think its a tegu. Teegu? Sorry, on second thoughts wanting it to die was a bit strong- maybe it would like to live on a reptile farm somewhere instead? Or in a flat of its own?
Yes, he is an experienced handler and is planning on getting a female when funds allow.
I dont mind bearded dragons or snakes or geckos but this is a big beastie and has frightened me since the first day i saw it.
I am due to stay this weekend and its on my mind already.

LadyBeagleEyes Thu 31-Jan-13 23:11:11

I know you started this thread as lighthearted Op, and I totally, lightheartedly agree with you.
I am not a fan of reptiles of any shape or description, you'd have to love your boyfriend loads to be able to live with a creepy fucking lizard in the bedroom
Can't you persuade him to get a cat? grin

pictish Thu 31-Jan-13 23:14:31

God it sounds crap. I'm never getting a lizard.

flaggybannel Thu 31-Jan-13 23:15:50

thanks for the link! I will educate myself a bit on the beastie, might help.
Still dont like it though, i prefer pets with fur.

Bottleoffish Thu 31-Jan-13 23:16:32

Well, if he's an experienced keeper than I wouldn't be too worried. Presumably he has ensured it can't escape? Although I doubt even an escaped tegu could do much damage? You are not wrong though that lizards and snakes aren't really 'pets' they are more of a hobby.

I have kept a number of herps in my time, including desert iguanas, green iguanas (large, unfriendly rescue ones), water dragons, various pythons and boas. I have to admit, Tegu or monitors don't appeal to me because of their size and natures, but I wouldn't mind being around one. I'd much rather that than an anaconda or large burmese python.

Perhaps you could ask your boyfriend to reassure you or show you how to handle it safely so it is less of a worry for you?

HollyBerryBush Thu 31-Jan-13 23:17:15

Vital question - would it make a nice handbag?


I just googled a pic of a Tegu.... shudders

Rowanhart Thu 31-Jan-13 23:21:57

I think you really do have to dump the bastard. Or poison the lizard. One of the two...grin

LadyBeagleEyes Thu 31-Jan-13 23:24:03

OMG, I've just googled it too shock.
You're a better woman than I am OP.
I'd run a mile, and then run some more.

Pandemoniaa Thu 31-Jan-13 23:24:53

I googled it too. Not my cup of tea either since it looks far too much like a crocodile. If I were you, I'd get another boyfriend. And make it snappy!

WorraLiberty Thu 31-Jan-13 23:27:20

maybe it would like to live on a reptile farm somewhere instead? Or in a flat of its own?

Will you help it fill out the benefits claim form? grin

quoteunquote Thu 31-Jan-13 23:29:11

Don't tell him you are educating yourself, just keep coming out with relevant bits of information.

Buzzardbird Thu 31-Jan-13 23:29:56

Ha ha, thanks for making me laugh with your title OP. First laugh tonight. Reptiles are lovely though. Do make nice bags though. grin

flaggybannel Thu 31-Jan-13 23:30:48

It does have lovely red/cream markings i will give it that.
Thankfully it cannot escape as its special glass doors have a lock but it does 'knock' to be let out shock plus, my bf is fairly relaxed to let it wander around the flat doing its thing, i will sit curled up on the sofa when this happens (with feet well out of the way!) but can feel my heart wind down to a purr when it eventally decides to go back 'home'.
Creepy beastie.

Softlysoftly Thu 31-Jan-13 23:32:31

Oh no I Googled too and was going to say I hope it's not a red one. The red ones look evil!

TheSmallClanger Thu 31-Jan-13 23:32:35

Tegus are sometimes quite friendly, if they are handled enough.

I seem to remember that they are of the type that will either waddle around apathetically, keeping close to their sunlamp, or make a high-speed break for it, depending on mood.

MechanicalTheatre Thu 31-Jan-13 23:33:05

YANBU - my brother has all sorts of stinking creatures like this. They really really make me heave to the max. He used to have a pet crab.

Yes, a pet CRAB. And he was upset when it died. It was the stinkingest of all.

DoingTheSwanThing Thu 31-Jan-13 23:35:15

Just googled. Uugh. Freaky bastards, and I didn't think I had any reptile-squeamishness about me. YAonlyBslightlyU.

Arthurfowlersallotment Thu 31-Jan-13 23:36:32

Tegus, aaaarrrrgh.


Christ, I like reptiles but this would freak even me out.

TheSmallClanger Thu 31-Jan-13 23:38:58

I like the texture of live reptile skin. It feels like touching an old tapestry.

Tanned reptile leather is nowhere near as nice. (Is also illegal to import nowadays).

LadyBeagleEyes Thu 31-Jan-13 23:39:17

I knew someone once that kept and bred pythons and boa constricters.
They lived in a huge shed, with little drawers of eggs with little snakes coming out.
It was all heated, he was a professional, but despite all the glass cases it stank.
I couldn't wait to get out, it was claustrophobic and full of large snakes FFS.
And I wasn't even scared of them till then.

TheSmallClanger Thu 31-Jan-13 23:41:16

Snakes really do hum. It's one of those smells you don't forget.

Bottleoffish Thu 31-Jan-13 23:50:36

Snakes do not smell if they are kept properly and clean. I have 26 of them upstairs and there is not a whiff from them.

However, fi they regurge a meal, that does stink... envy

flaggybannel Thu 31-Jan-13 23:54:35

26 snakes! <faints!>
Will swap 5 small ones for a tegu?

pictish Thu 31-Jan-13 23:56:36

Yuck. He'd have to have some pretty astonishing qualities for me to coorie in with one of them. What an odd choice of pet.

Bottleoffish Fri 01-Feb-13 00:02:26

I haven't got any particularly small ones... plus I don't want a Tegu with beady eyes... grin

Sallyingforth Fri 01-Feb-13 00:08:21

I think it is lovely actually. But I think it's cruel to keep it in that tank when it's fully grown.

Urgh!!! YAsoNBU!!!

ripsishere Fri 01-Feb-13 00:42:10

Not my cup of tea at all, but each to their own. I do remember a craze/fashion for keeping lizards about 14 years ago. A friend of ours got a small something and was fine with the feeding and handling. Small lizard is now about 1.5 metres long and eats many more pinkies (if that's the proper name). It has gone through several vivariums and stopped her going on holiday.

ripsishere Fri 01-Feb-13 00:42:44

Possible exageration, I'll reduce the length to one metre.

catladycourtney1 Fri 01-Feb-13 00:51:12

I think reptiles are quite cool but I'd feel a bit weird with it wandering around the flat. Although I suppose you get used to it. Just pretend it's a cat? I mean, they're a bit similar, with the dead mice and that... hmm

I just can't quite get my hat on with snakes, though. As much as I try to rationalise it, they freak me out. I have friends who keep snakes, and I can hold them and pet them and feed them, but I wouldn't want one as a pet. And anyone who keeps bloody spiders clearly has a screw loose somewhere.

BrittaPerry Fri 01-Feb-13 00:51:36

When I was first pregnant with my first baby, DH was living with a man who had a huge lizard. The smell of that when I had morning sickness...

Illgetmegoat Fri 01-Feb-13 01:25:58

I miss my old boy, he was a rescue and was a mean git when he arrived (quite possibly because he was kept in such a state) but once I sorted him out he was great fun - we used to curl up and watch tv together, I'd have a couple of digestives and he'd have a couple of... well whatever he fancied and it was all very lovely and civilised, he was a gentleman at heart and had vair posh tastes.
He used to try and encourage me out of the bath so he could get in and if that didn't work run off with my towel. I have fond memories of him sprawling over the back of the sofa and then feeling him pop his chin down on the top of my head after quietly scooching over - we had many a quiet, friendly time together. Soft as butter but twice as nice. Sir Dave le Eggetheef. I still have his paddling pool and walking harness actually, he liked to climb the shed <misty eyed>. Big can be beautiful too, or maybe he's not a big lizard but a small dinosaur? possibly not helpful.

See I'm far too biased to say anything other than YABU! I agree with Bottleoffish my herps/tanks don't smell, maybe bf hasn't quite got on top of his appetite? Visitors don't know we have them until they see them - our dogs are much stinkier grin
Also, I can't remember the last time I heard of a rep keeper that only had one of anything, he is planning a breeding pair I asume? Hahahaha...ahh good luck! That way madness lies (according to DH, not me, I can't hear the voices in my hot room).

Seriously though, I hope you and the Tegu can come to some kind of amicable living arrangement. A non-patronising nod to you for disliking him but letting him be - even though you want to turn him into a handbag I think you sound lovely for not making life difficult for Bf or beast at the expense of your creep-o-meter. Reptiles are a joy in their own right but not for everyone and I am doubly cursed to be spurned as very few people want to share in my adoration of my big spiders either sad; someone called my lovely Delilah a walking nightmare, but she's beautiful and gentle and sweet and floofy <hurt>. I hope bf appreciates you.

Illgetmegoat Fri 01-Feb-13 01:43:26

And anyone who keeps bloody spiders clearly has a screw loose somewhere.

Hah! Completely missed this before I posted - if it was only one screw Catlady I think DH would be less worried about letting me out of his sight with cash in hand and a wistful expression!

I'm more than happy to introduce you to Delilah or Margot if you would like to meet some lovely ladies that enjoy late nights, walks in the woods and snuggling on cold evenings - come to Spider to meet the woman that may change how you feel about arachnids.

catladycourtney1 Fri 01-Feb-13 01:48:06

Illgetmegoat Thanks, but no thanks grin I'm sure they're very nice once you get to know them and everything, but they put the willies up me something terrible.

bootsycollins Fri 01-Feb-13 01:54:43

I would run like fuck, my god terrifying! There's no way I could be in the room if he was roaming free no fucking way. I'm also phobic about eggs and have a fine tuned sense of smell so just can't cope with anything that hums. Hats off to you, your a braver woman than me grin

Getmegoat I loved your story about cheeky old boy, what a sweetie. I just can't handle the reality of lizards they freak me out big time.

flaggybannel Fri 01-Feb-13 08:10:30

Sir Dave le Eggetheef! [big grin] brilliant!
Its actually friendly to my bf, he has raised this thing from an egg, i think it knows am not keen and probably wonders who i think i am invading its living quarters where it has a cushy number with its 'dad'.
Just to clarify, the tank is cleaned daily of poo and general detrius, my bf is fastidious about sterilizing etc, i think its the eggs mainly making it whiff and this mulch sort of stuff thats spread on the bottom of the tank, tis not a smell you would normally expect indoors.
To the poster who mentioned they thought it was cruel to be in that tank once fully grown, let me assure you ,the tank it is in currently leaves only space in the room for a double bed. Nothing else. My bfs rooms and living space in his flat are bigger than in my house.
Plus the tank has two storeys. And a cave. And a basking area, and a waterfall, and a little pool. And half a tree log for , well, for whatever. I wouldnt tolerate anyone being cruel to an animal bf or not.
I will admit i do have ishoos with this lizard, i am freaked out most the time i am there and know my blood pressure is sky high. There have been a couple of things that make me nervous, like the snapping, and the time some mice had been left to defrost in a tub with a lid on. And i went to make toast, couldn find butter... Not what you want to find. Or the time i saw it kind of lash at my bf for not being quick enough with the egg dinner , and those eyes. Did i mention the beady eyes? It watches us. A lot.

Buzzardbird Fri 01-Feb-13 10:54:29

Wow, that tank sounds great! I think you should move in there and let the reptile have the run of the house!

sparkle12mar08 Fri 01-Feb-13 11:27:45

Well I sure as hell wouldn't be getting jiggy in the bedroom with that damn thing in a tank next to the bed! No way Jose!

Crinkle77 Fri 01-Feb-13 11:49:01

Doesn't sound like the nicest of pets but it is his house and his electricity bill so he can do what he likes. Can he not keep the lizard in its cage when you are there or let it out but shut the living room door so it can't come in and frighten you?

I would quite like a lizard. I always fancied a bearded dragon. I don't think they are always unfriendly - I know one that likes being held and stroked.

OK a tegu seems to be quite a big bigger potentially. Still nice though. Sorry grin

CajaDeLaMemoria Fri 01-Feb-13 11:58:46

I would do just about anything for a tegu. OH isn't keen though, and the house is already fill of 10foot tanks, so I've resisted so far.

Like you said, it's likely to have years left to live, and if BF is going to get a female than breeding etc will probably take placeat some point. It's probably a good idea to try and like it - or talk to your BF about not getting another one?

Getting comfortable about them free roaming might end up being quite important, especially when there is two.

I'm so jealous that you get to live with one! I wish I could convince OH to let me.

CaptChaos Fri 01-Feb-13 12:03:18

I think reptiles are marmite pets. I love them, lizards have such cute little faces and bliss out when you tickle them, snakes too.

Tegus aren't ones I've met before, but I have looked after blue-tongue and frill necked lizards and taken care of a sick goanna before now. I never noticed them smelling, however, I live with a beagle now and he apparently niffs a bit so.....

You don't like them so YANBU, but I have a feeling you're going to have to learn to at least appreciate him.

OTheHugeManatee Fri 01-Feb-13 12:04:55

I just googled tegus. They are HOOGE and creepy as hell. YANBU to wish it was someone else.

Off topic, but on the subject of boyfriends with reptiles I dated someone once who (illegally) fed his python live mice. I should have realised straight off that that was a red flag confused Sadly I was young and foolish and had to discover the hard way that he was an utter twat.

Not that I'm saying your BF is a twat, OP, but this guy definitely was grin

I was prepared to say "YABU" but I wont.

It is either you or the lizard, is it not? I Could not live with that. And if it dies, I am sure he will claim in his Pet Lizard Insurance and get a new one.

You need to LTB!

expatinscotland Fri 01-Feb-13 12:17:01


FairPhyllis Fri 01-Feb-13 12:19:02

Dear God YANBU. I would make a wallet out of it quick sharp.

greenpostit Fri 01-Feb-13 12:24:41

Sheesh. I would run a fucking mile.

merlottits Fri 01-Feb-13 12:25:41

Your boyfriend must have a big cock or give you millions of pounds because I just couldn't <shudder>

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Fri 01-Feb-13 12:27:08

A nice reptile farm sounds lovely smile

Dear God, that's not a lizard it's a bald, scaly dog! Can you not rename it rex or something and pretend it's an odd looking Labrador?

Idocrazythings Fri 01-Feb-13 12:40:06

It is big- Dont think I could cope- he must be special!! DH used to work on a mine site in Aussie desert and they had Bungarras Freely roaming around! That was scary too- they liked to hang around the BBQ area for scraps

Idocrazythings Fri 01-Feb-13 12:42:04

Sorry here's another bungarra

quoteunquote Fri 01-Feb-13 16:14:40
aderynlas Fri 01-Feb-13 16:23:25

Wouldnt want to watch jurassic park with those beady little eyes looking at you op smile

harrythechicken Fri 08-Mar-13 19:12:43

go girl !!!Lizards not fluffy or cute

Still18atheart Fri 08-Mar-13 19:26:51


It would scare the day lights out of me to wake up to that every time i satyed over. Not that I would sleep due to the fact I would be wide awake all night worrying it had escaped it's cage.

I know this sounds mean but could you somehow fake a powercut??

Casserole Fri 08-Mar-13 19:27:16


OP I hope he's good in bed.

The bloke. Not the freaky reptile.

<shudders again>

catgirl1976 Fri 08-Mar-13 19:40:24

Oh dear lord

I googled it. I love animals but that really has a face only its mother could love sad

Sailormercury Fri 08-Mar-13 19:54:32

Could you give it a cute name? Maybe that would make it less scary.

MsMaisy Thu 20-Jun-13 17:20:43

I came across this thread today after my boyfriend text me out of the blue to say he was getting a lizard. I totally agree that you either love them or you hate them (lizards that is, although that applies to boyfriends too sometimes). I am really not keen on a lizard sharing my bedroom and we are definitely going to be having a discussion about where the scaly little thing can and can't live. Too bad i love my boyfriend really, if it were any one else I'd run a mile.

Silverfoxballs Thu 20-Jun-13 18:43:58

I couldn't get it on with those beady eyes watching, so good as a contraceptive.

CruCru Thu 20-Jun-13 18:52:34

A friend of mine had a giant snake at the same time as a newborn. It ate defrosted rabbits. That would have freaked me out, what if it ate the baby?

thebody Thu 20-Jun-13 18:55:21

Fucking hell no just no!!! Can you imagine what he could get next?

Alisvolatpropiis Thu 20-Jun-13 19:16:10

I've always quite liked reptiles,though never owned one.

I do not like that look of that one. Couldn't you swap it for a nice little gecko instead?

BoomChicaBoom Thu 20-Jun-13 20:41:09

Fuckin' ell! I was going to add that I'm in the same situation regarding dh's goldfish in a tank who have already lived for 9 years and still going strong, bloody hassle with the cleaning out. Have considered leaving lid open for the cat to enjoy a gourmet meal... However, I now realise I have no cause for complaint!

StinkyElfCheese Thu 20-Jun-13 20:45:39

I hated my then boyfriends snakes, but loved my pet gerbils.... we lived together he forgot to lock the tank one night....

I went to work in PJ's... and very very very nearly didn't marry him

ChocChaffinch Thu 20-Jun-13 21:02:17

great thread. Love seeing the reptiles at the zoo; couldn't live with one. YANNNBU.
it's as big as a small croc! how big will it get!?

gamerchick Thu 20-Jun-13 22:19:02

I don't see the problem, that is one gorgeous reptile. As long as your fella is experienced in handling and caring for it, which he seems to be. Anybody who has a smelly tank though needs to do a bit more cleaning out.

I am a bit hmm however at the odd post that suggests faking a power cut or whatever and was excused without comment. Would it be acceptable for me or anybody else to pop on a thread about a vile kitten or puppy (or indeed dog or cat) and suggest a bucket of water? I wonder if that would be excused.

SigmundFraude Thu 20-Jun-13 22:39:12

Send the creature to me, i'll kill it. All I have to do is try to keep it alive.


*by creature, I mean the lizard. Not your BF.

mignonette Thu 20-Jun-13 22:48:42

Maybe taking it for a walk like this one would help you bond?

SHarri13 Thu 20-Jun-13 23:01:58

Your thread title made me laugh too. I also googled and said 'oh, fuckin' 'ell' out loud. I'd run a mile, yuck.

ephemeralfairy Thu 20-Jun-13 23:51:49

I can't even bring myself to Google it. I would probably just refuse to go round there ever. Shudder.

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