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(57 Posts)
Linzi01 Thu 31-Jan-13 21:20:39

Hi I was just wanting others opinions really... I am 15 weeks pregnant and my mother in law has already decided she wants the baby to call her mim! I have never heard of this n feel it sounds too much like mum! She is quite inteferring anyway tbh so i wouldn't b surprised if she had said mum lol! She has firmly dismissed all traditional names. I am thinking of tellin her i feel really uncomfortable with it but aibu??

feministefatale Thu 31-Jan-13 21:21:24


Sirzy Thu 31-Jan-13 21:23:30

Does it really matter? Chances are the baby when talking will come up with their own version/name anyway but even if not its hardly as if your child will think that she is mum simply because of the name she is called.

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Thu 31-Jan-13 21:24:42

YANBU tto think it sounds plain silly

YABU and interferring to try to decide what the woman is allowed to be called. It'll be her name not yours.

pictish Thu 31-Jan-13 21:25:21

What does it matter really?

Is her name Miriam?

Linzi01 Thu 31-Jan-13 21:28:26

Maybe! I just don't know if I'm overreacting just coz of hormones etc etc smile is it normally up to grandparents what they are called? I know the baby will know who mum is but out in public if its shouting mim or mimi to her?? I really don't know what to think?!

Sounds utterly ridiculous, silly woman (her). But I posted a similar question on here when I had DD1 about what PIL wanted to be called and had my arse scorched!

Linzi01 Thu 31-Jan-13 21:30:38

No her names not Miriam! She says its just something she has made up I think! So I really av no right to say no to her?

pictish Thu 31-Jan-13 21:30:40

Although smil suggested the kids call her grandmama. I just laughed. grin
Try laughing.

TarkaTheOtter Thu 31-Jan-13 21:31:53

Your baby won't say mum for a while. Chances are first attempts will be more like mama and later it will be mummy - both quite different from mim.

Pick your battles, let her be mim if it makes her happy but stand your ground on the things that really matter.

I actually don't think YABU, it does sound like mum.

Linzi01 Thu 31-Jan-13 21:33:33

Oh dear GwendolineMaryLacey not good! I've thought of loads more that I was gonna suggest but maybe it's not my place ?!

Linzi01 Thu 31-Jan-13 21:37:38

Very good advice to pick my battles!! I'm sure I will av a few with her over the next upcoming few months! This MIL really does think she knows best about every aspect of life n if u av a different opinion it's automatically wrong! Maybe just don't make an issue out of it b see what little one calls her itself!

andadietcoke Thu 31-Jan-13 22:06:58

I'm sure they'll call her what they want. Nieces call my MiL 'Dye-Dye'. My mum decided years ago she wanted to be Mamie (something she picked up in France I think). To me it just sounds like Mammy, but will cross that bridge when I get to it.

CatsRule Thu 31-Jan-13 22:11:07

My ds shouts miiiimmm to me! I'm sure he will get mum eventually.

Anyone who is ridiculous enough to want to be called anything like mum is not worth bothering about. Why would a woman who is also a mother not see the importance of that!

I didn't care what names my mum or mil chose to be called as long as they knew mum and dad were already taken.

Oh and yanbu.

Bowlersarm Thu 31-Jan-13 22:11:15

I don't think YABU but the only thing I might say in her defence is that I think both Nanny or Granny/Grandma are pretty awful. Not sure I would like either when the time comes. What about trying to come up with another name together you can agree on?

Linzi01 Thu 31-Jan-13 22:24:11

Yh I agree grandma n granny r a tad old fashioned, my mum is known as nana to all her other grand kids but the MIL has dismissed that too! I guess I just think off all the names she cud of made up its one vowel change away from mum sad

Linzi01 Thu 31-Jan-13 22:25:26


CocktailQueen Thu 31-Jan-13 22:27:20

Mim - short for Amelia imo! Bizarre name for a gran... what do you think?

Vinomcstephens Thu 31-Jan-13 22:28:28

My mum decided she wanted to be called Oma when her grandkids came along (not mine, my brothers). She was dead set and immovable about it - she was NOT going to be gran or nanny! 18 years and 3 grandchildren later, she's.....gran grin

So I think the moral of my story is don't sweat it - your MIL can decide she wants to be called Most Serene Highness Of The World for all she wants - it's your DC who will make the ultimate decision!

MarilynValentine Thu 31-Jan-13 22:28:53

YANBU. Call her grandmim. Silly woman.

Namely Thu 31-Jan-13 22:34:34

Just let her tell your DC to call her Mim but when you refer to her call her what you want her to be called. "Grandma is coming round later" or "let's go and visit nanny." We asked our parents what they wanted to be called, luckily they went for grandma and nana!

Linzi01 Thu 31-Jan-13 22:38:45

Haha will def suggest grandmim! I suppose if myself n hubby don't refer to her as mim there will be less chance of little one picking it up! Like previous comments if first words r mum or something similar she will soon be quick enough to start claiming it as mim - just that sort of MIL unfortunately!

Don't worry your DC will give her their own name and she will love it. My mum wanted to be known as Grandma but DD1 named her after a character on Fireman Sam and it stuck. Cann't tell you which because it will out me. Worse still several friends think its my mum's real name and call her it too shock.

Catchingmockingbirds Thu 31-Jan-13 22:41:32

Weird, what's wrong with gran? Mim does sound quite like mum I think.

FudgeyCookie Thu 31-Jan-13 22:43:38

My MIL has decided on grandmum hmm and announced it on Christmas Day. DD is 4months old. She will make up her own mind but I will distract her from calling her grandmum grin

Fairypants Thu 31-Jan-13 22:56:20

It sounds like she's not yet ready to be a grandparent. If she spends enough time with dc when they are little they will make up their own name for her (probably a mispronunciation of whatever you call her). My dc started calling DH darling at one point!! I think she sounds ridiculous and very sad to be missing out on being called granny (or similar) is a bit like teaching your dc your name instead of mum. YANBU but I think it will be fine without having to make an issue around it.

CatsRule Thu 31-Jan-13 22:58:33

I don't see Gran as being old, I like Gran.

My mil insisted on Nana because it is aparently young hmm

I do agree that your child will decide amd out of your mil's earshot you can discourage mim.

Don't let this spoil your enjoyment of being pregnant and having your own snuggly newborn

Ozfrazror Thu 31-Jan-13 23:00:47

It was a while ago but I'm sure my mil suggested something similar and I remember feeling just like you - too close to sounding like mum.
Greetings cards changed all that…subtly point out one day that birthday and Christmas cards have either, Grandma, Granny, Nanny or Nana. It worked like an absolute dream when I suggested how exciting her first card would be from a grandchild which had her "name" on it!!

Halfcups Thu 31-Jan-13 23:38:27

My sons favourite cuddly bear is called Mim.

Rowanhart Thu 31-Jan-13 23:47:45

I actually had a fall out with mum over the very same thing. Can't believe there are two of these knocking about.

At first she wanted to be Mimaw like in the Deep South. Only she wanted it to be pronounced. Me-MA like some say in the north east for our mothers. Veto.

She then wanted to be Mim, like the marvellous Madam Mim. I asked her why she kept picking things that were like Mum and she flipped. Sad she was sick of me rubbishing all her ideas and that she had few choices because if "all the other Nana's.." hmm (tbf both mine and DH Nans are alive and I've a step mum so there are quite a few...)

I won't reveal what she finally called herself as it would reveal me straight away if any one knows us. Suffice to say it isn't a normal gran name and doesn't sound anything like mum.

Pandemoniaa Thu 31-Jan-13 23:56:34

My mil insisted on Nana because it is aparently young

I don't get her reasoning, at all! Not least because I get a mental picture of that sodding "Knitted By Nanas" advert in which is it fair to say none of the Nanas in question were exactly spring chickens.

I don't really understand all these grandmothers who insist on being weirdly labelled. I'm a Nanny and proud of it.

humblebumble Fri 01-Feb-13 00:03:33

My MIL decided the name she wanted to be called. Then the DGC decided what totally different name to call her. She has 3 sets of DGC they all call her something different. I don't think she minds at all. She's just thrilled at being a GM.

I think she was just super excited with the first grandchild she kind of forgot what it is like to have a young child and came up with lots of silly suggestions about different things. She's great though, it all comes from a good place.

apostropheuse Fri 01-Feb-13 01:05:43

I think Nana sounds ancient. I hate it! When I knew I was going to be a grandmother I thought I was far too young to be one. I thought up all kinds of names to try to prevent the dreaded gran word. I was actually quite creative - to the point of being ridiculous. What, you may ask, did I end up with?

I'm called Granny. I suppose when they get older they may adapt it to Gran. grin

Once grandchildren are actually here, in my opinion anyway, they can call you whatever the like and you think it's wonderful.

Illgetmegoat Fri 01-Feb-13 02:08:23

Your title made me chuckle Op because I immediately started singing the 'Mad madam Mim!' song from the Disney sword in the stone film - watch it and everytime you will call to mind a dumpy, frazzled, crazy, old witch that turns herself into a dragon- I don't think that is a loving and flattering description of anyone, let alone someone as important as a nana.

While I don't think yabu, particularly as you have more insight into her motives, I wouldn't worry. I agree with pps call her your preferred name when you are talking about her, your dc will soon have chosen for both of you anyway. Pick your battles - start practicing now, be firm but polite, set your boundaries and stick to them. Good fences make good neighbours works just as well as good boundaries make for smoother relationships - don't say nothing but be miffed and seethe about it, it uses your energy and doesn't alter the slightly pushy behaviour at all. Congratulations, look forward to the lovely things to come - you can't always tell what changes will occur anyway when the baby actually arrives. The cure here for our silly nana with pregnancy induced 'everything' crisis was the baby.

SirIronBottom Fri 01-Feb-13 03:17:13

YANBU OP, it's very twee.

LazyMachine Fri 01-Feb-13 04:49:55


Years ago when my older sibling's DCs were born, my DM chose the name 'Grammie', which is quite sweet. Our DC also have a Nonni and a Grandma.

One of my dear friend's DD ended up calling her granmother 'Honey' - she'd cottoned on to what the grandfather called his wife! 12 or 13 years and many more grandchildren later, it's firmly stuck. smile

ErikNorseman Fri 01-Feb-13 08:12:43

It's not as bad as the poster whose mother wanted GC to call her groin murder!

Flisspaps Fri 01-Feb-13 08:15:34

My niece calls her milk 'mim'.

CailinDana Fri 01-Feb-13 08:24:55

My MIL decided on "Nanna" before DS was born and made a massive fuss about it. I couldn't give a stuff, but then one of DS's first words was "nana" meaning banana, so she got called "Nanna banana" for a while until she got a bit upset about it blush But even now DS gets confused between "Nanna" and "banana" and MIL looks a bit of a twat for insisting on the name.

So my advice would be let her cause herself her own hassle - if she insists on "Mim" then let her teach it and bear the consequences! Chances are your DC will just be a bit confused and end up not calling her anything or coming up with something else.

ConferencePear Fri 01-Feb-13 08:34:10

Let the baby decide. A little girl I know in her early attempts to say 'Grandma' said 'Gaga' and it stuck.

aldiwhore Fri 01-Feb-13 09:21:38

I asked my Mum and MIL what they wanted to be called. MIL became Nana (which I loathe but she loved, and meh, her call) but my Mum didn't want anything that made her sound old, bless. We settled on Granny Liz (which she didn't much like) and over time the children changed it to Grizzly. It has stuck, she almost likes it now.

I guess the moral is: be careful what you wish for.

As an aside I have female friends who refer to their lady bits as Mims, so maybe that could be worth mentioning? smile

I think Grandparents should have a say in what they want to be called, but ultimately the children will choose (if you let them, nay, encourage them!)

Yfronts Fri 01-Feb-13 09:35:04

nana and nanny is more youthful then gran

Yfronts Fri 01-Feb-13 09:38:47

My friend down south calls her Granny Glam-mar because she is glam!

May be worth mentioning in passing that all cards etc say nan, nana, grandma etc, as do a lot of keepsake type gifts, my dc call their grandads 'gramps' and 'pops' and ds does ask why we get a grandad card for pop, if that makes sense??

A very minor thing, but you would never find a card with mim on it!

TheFallenNinja Fri 01-Feb-13 09:49:22

Don't sweat on the little stuff, it's a distraction and I don't think this is really worth a great deal more than a shrug, maybe an eye roll at a push.

I've got the same thing going on with my dad at the minute, he wants to be called Taid (welsh) and frankly I think it's a bit naff (like picking your own nickname) but DD will call him whatever she's taught, much the same as whatever we teach her to call a post box, a ball or dog muck.

OxfordBags Fri 01-Feb-13 09:54:46

OP, do what my sister did when her MIL wanted to be called 'MomMom' <vom> - she just kept referring to her as Granny to the baby, and when MIL got annoyed, she said she kept forgetting to say MomMom as everyone else is called some variant on Gran, so it was an unconscious thing, etc., etc. The one time her MIL was really nasty about it, my sister yelled back "For god's sake, woman, do you not think I have enough on my plate without having to remember some stupid name you've made up for yourself? Give me a break!". Perhaps not ideal, but she was Gran from then on and still is grin

Just keep calling her Grandma or whatever and pretend you keep forgetting the Mim nonsense.

TeenyW123 Fri 01-Feb-13 09:57:19

Nanny Mim sounds good to me.

SnowyWellies Fri 01-Feb-13 09:57:56

The only Mim Grandmother I know was a Miriam.

I agree that Dcs say their own things. I have a friend whose MIL is 'Sue', nicknamed 'Sukie'. She insisted that she be called 'Nanny Sukie'.

Of course the little ones called her (in innocence) 'nanny sucky' and it has stuck.

Linzi01 Fri 01-Feb-13 11:06:36

Thanks guys! I think best course of action is to make her aware (which I already think she is) that I dont particularly like it. I wont go on about it tho, just drop the odd comment in about bday cards, xmas cards etc etc
And by the time little one is starting to mutter anything I will make sure (out of her earshot) we refer to her as granny, grandma or whatever else comes to mind ;)

Lollybrolly Fri 01-Feb-13 11:12:56

Mim made me think of quim blush

Pascha Fri 01-Feb-13 11:15:50

FIL was convinced all the grandchildren would call him Bardie (shortened version of part of his name). They all call him Grampsie as started by GC1 10 years ago and Bardie has never surfaced.

They all do what they want regardless.

WildThong Fri 01-Feb-13 11:19:50

My dsis has a really pretentious mil - insists on Yaya - apparently she has a Spanish 3rd cousin twice removed so thinks that makes her Spanish!
silly moo

VinegarTits Fri 01-Feb-13 11:22:31

Mim is a bit shite, it isnt even short for anything is it?

let her have a shite name if she wants, jsut prefix it with nanny or granny when you refer to her

CaptChaos Fri 01-Feb-13 11:22:36

My DGD has 3 sets of Grand Parents, all the GFs are called Grandad (I think) but the GMs are known as Nannar, Grandma and Granny. We all chose what we would like to be called (I am Granny, as this is what I called my GM). I have no doubt we will all be called whatever my DGD wants to call us.

DeWe Fri 01-Feb-13 11:30:35

I would start off by calling her GrandMim... which almost certainly will end up shortened to something like "Grim" grin

My grandad was always called by the name my dsis, his first dgc said. All the dgc from her down to my youngest one, 22 years younger than her did.

My dc have a great grandmother who when we asked what she wanted to be called said "Great <first name>" It's since been abreviated to "G'<first name>" and we all love it. Our dc's youngest aunt didn't want to be called Great Aunt, so she abreviates it to "Gah"-short for "Great Aunt Hazel", like the Fossil children in Ballet shoes.

So if your mil doesn't want a "granny" name, then I'm sure you can find something that isn't too close to Mummy.

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