to be so bothered by reborn dolls and this ebay situation?

(136 Posts)
grumblinalong Tue 29-Jan-13 17:45:04

I suppose deep down I know aibu, different strokes and all that but my immediate reaction is kind of just to recoil.

I had no idea about reborn dolls until the thread on here the other day. I clicked on the YouTube link and for some reason it bothered me. Don't know why. Couldn't read any more of the thread. Anyway got over it in a second and didn't give it much thought until I have just discovered that I have sold my lovely silver cross pram and car seat, on eBay, for one of these dolls.

The bidder is collecting by bus and I asked if they we're bringing their baby or pregnant because there's quite a lot of kit to carry and I was worried they wouldn't manage. It's for her reborn she replied. I'm annoyed cos I've scrubbed the blasted thing thinking a human baby was going in it and I feel odd about the doll thing. My newborns went in that pram and car seat so I feel attached to it a bit. Maybe this is what's wrong with me, been sterilised so no more newborns for me. Am I weird for being bothered by these dolls? Come on MN, kick my arse (grin)

grumblinalong Tue 29-Jan-13 17:46:26

Were bringing, sorry.

RooneyMara Tue 29-Jan-13 17:46:48

Oh goodness, I'm no help I'm afraid, I'd be bothered too sad

Bobyan Tue 29-Jan-13 17:49:15

Borrow a baby,get it to cover the items in half masticated biscuit and then hand them over?

I'm not sure why but I'm annoyed on your behalf!

littleduckie Tue 29-Jan-13 17:51:47

that would bother me too

MimmeeBack Tue 29-Jan-13 17:51:48

I'm not a fan of the reborn dolls either.
However, she did pay for them. If you had given them away believing that they would be well used for a baby, I could understand the irritation, but she paid the same money as anyone might have. YABU I'm afraid.

BabyRoger Tue 29-Jan-13 17:52:50

I don't know why but I would be bothered too.

I suppose you become a bit attached to your babies things and you want them to go to a nice new snuggly baby for their benefit not a weird doll

LegoAcupuncture Tue 29-Jan-13 17:53:01

Hmm, not sure. It is a bit odd to buy a pram and car seat for a reborn doll, but definitely not unheard of. I can understand why you're feeling like this.

On the same vein, I advertised a brand new pack of dado rail on freecycle and had loads of people wanting it. Gave it to the fist person to ask and when they turned up they said it as to fix a hole in his pigeon coop. Would have preferred it to go to a better use, ie someone who used it for is original purpose!

pictish Tue 29-Jan-13 17:53:54

Yes the dolls are freakish, but they're ultimately harmless, and the woman is paying money same as anyone else. Yabu.

HecateWhoopass Tue 29-Jan-13 17:54:32

You've sold them. Does it matter who to? Surely all that matters is you get the cash?
Sorry, I must be missing the point. It wouldn't be the first time! But there's no shortage of prams and car seats, no real child will be unable to have one because this womans bought yours.
And you've got the cash!
grin

No arse kicking from me, cos clearly there's some emotionhere that I am missing, I just ddon't understand what it is.

I know a couple of people who have these dolls, they can bring a lot of comfort to people. I do think YABU to be bothered that you have cleaned something you are taking money for, regardless of whats going in it the buyer still deserves a clean pram.

RooneyMara Tue 29-Jan-13 17:55:37

I can't work out why this bothers me. I think I find it kind of taking the piss of real babies, real mothers...none of the work, the reality of the job that is motherhood - just a toy to play with.

It's like someone buying your expensive, handmade paintbrushes that you got for oil painting and using them for a child's colouring pad. It's pretending to be a mother, for whatever reasons (and they may be very sad ones I know).

That's possibly what gets on my nerves.

MrsHavisham Tue 29-Jan-13 17:56:06

Thread about a thread?

I'd be bothered too. I actually sold our big travel system yesterday and, luckily, the woman who turned up to collect was extremely pregnant! Even so, I choked back a sob as she wheeled it down the path. Even though she paid good money etc I wouldn't have liked it to go to a doll.

Catchingmockingbirds Tue 29-Jan-13 17:56:14

The dolls in general make me feel uncomfortable, they look like dead babies to me as they're so still and lifelike, but I don't think yab too reasonable in being annoyed as she's paid for the items.

My first reaction is that it would make me uncomfortable too. However, she must have her reasons for having a reborn doll and wanting a pram for it, so I'd think of the happiness it will bring her and hand over the pram with a smile.

WowOoo Tue 29-Jan-13 17:58:45

Wouldn't bother me. In theory.

It is a bit unusual - but if I want to sell something I won't choose who will have it and what they'll use it for....I'd never sell it otherwise.

wonderingsoul Tue 29-Jan-13 17:58:50

ybvu

she paid for it what does it matter to you if wanted to use it in a blow up experiment.

its no longer yours n dont see why you care. if youd given it awsy I could mayb see your point,

hoodoo12345 Tue 29-Jan-13 17:59:02

Why does it matter?
At least it will be well looked after.

I don't see the problem people have with reborns,it seems no different from collecting trains or model cars.

frasersmummy Tue 29-Jan-13 17:59:24

I just had to google reborn dolls and ugghh.. just uggh..some of the images just make me think of my darling stillborn son

i guess someone is entitled to buy your pram for whatever they want .. their money is as good as someone elses

but why would you buy a proper pram and car seat for lets face it.. a doll .. its not a baby ...

I realise I will get flamed for this .. cos part of me is in agreement that each to their own.. but its just too weird for words and I would feel odd when they took the pram for this

Those dolls r not for me , however those who have them love and care for them as much as you do for your babies. The buggy will probably be treated with the love and respect that u had for it, minus the baby vomit and squished raisins. they still deserve to
Have a clean functioning item, whether or not a human baby goes in it you should still be selling it clean.

As bad as u feel about it, Remenber that the person buying it feels worse for she won't have her own baby.

cozietoesie Tue 29-Jan-13 18:01:35

From seeing a recent documentary on the subject, it seems that reborn 'mothers' are even more pernickety about condition etc than ordinary Mums. Although I can understand how you feel (I find them a bit creepy) I reckon that that pram will be lovingly cared for for many years to come.

And, after all, she won it fair and square.

CloudsAndTrees Tue 29-Jan-13 18:02:23

YABVU.

If you are that attached to your things then don't sell them. But as you have already made the choice to sell them, I can't see what your problem is. It makes no difference if someone just bought your pram because they wanted the wheels for a go cart, their money is the same.

I'm creeped out by those dolls too, but once you have sold something, you have sold it. You don't get to stipulate how it gets used when it no longer belongs to you.

RoomForASmallOne Tue 29-Jan-13 18:03:14

YADNBU.

WorraLiberty Tue 29-Jan-13 18:04:04

Teensy bit of getting over yourself to be done here OP

bringnbuy Tue 29-Jan-13 18:05:54

whilst i can unerstand the emotional attachment getting rid of something that belonged to one of your kids i don't get your being so bothered about the buyer putting a 'doll' in is as opposed to human flesh. just thank your lucky stars that YOU were in a position to use it for what it was intended whilst she is putting a man made item in there at a guess because she can't have a baby of her own.

anklebitersmum Tue 29-Jan-13 18:07:45

It's a bit ewwwww but hey, so what? As long as she's paid right?

To me it's a bit like selling a telly to someone and then freaking out because you found out they were watching porn on it. grin

neontetra Tue 29-Jan-13 18:10:30

I'm not sure why these dolls get to everyone so much. It is a bit unusual to have a doll as an adult, but if it makes them happy, or happier, then isn't that good? They are not hurting anyone.
YANBU to feel what you feel, but it would be unreasonable to refuse to sell it, or otherwise act in a way that made the buyer feel bad. Which I'm sure you wouldn't do.

KC225 Tue 29-Jan-13 18:11:01

I think there are two issues going on here. Yes, I agree the reborn doll thing is freaky. I don't get it but each to their own. They aren't hurting anyone (so long as they are not taking up pram space on buses).

Selling baby items is not with an emotional tug of the heartstrings. The pram/car seat going is the end of an era. My double buggy (twins) caused me no end of grief, the times I couldn't get through doorways, narrow pavements, onto buses etc., but I still got a lump in my throat when I sold it on gumtree. I did feel it went to a good home - a granny who was having two different grandchildren for a holiday and both were under three. If it was going as a toy for a weird dolly .........

Do let us know what she is like

Icelollycraving Tue 29-Jan-13 18:11:10

Yabu. You are selling it because you don't want it. I personally think she deserves a little compassion. IMO they are desperately missing a baby,either through mc,unable to carry,SIDS or perhaps she just likes playing with dolls. Be grateful you don't need one.
Arse kicked (a little).

it would annoy me a little bit too, because it's a waste of a perfectly good pram!

try not to think about it though, you sold it, you'll get your money and eventually you won't even think about it.

valiumredhead Tue 29-Jan-13 18:13:00

I find I am agreeing with worra a lot today!

RooneyMara Tue 29-Jan-13 18:13:02

it reminds me of the one about someone selling a really nice dress on ebay and finding the person she sold it to was a bloke, and he was going to use it himself.

Might have been me. I can't remember now.

valiumredhead Tue 29-Jan-13 18:13:42

Why is it a waste of a good pram? confused the person buying it obviously wants it!

frasersmummy Tue 29-Jan-13 18:13:49

grin at kc225 ..

because a pram is for a baby to go in, not to sit in a corner with a doll in, that's why!

not all people with reborn dolls take them out for walks and sutff... some of them just like to have them sitting in their house.

RooneyMara Tue 29-Jan-13 18:15:48

they are designed and made for live children with the needs of a live child in mind - it is a waste to put a waxwork in them imo. but there's a lot of waste in the world.

frasersmummy Tue 29-Jan-13 18:16:21

if you buy a doll why not a dolls pram.. its not going to complain about being crampt or outgrow it is it ..

WorraLiberty Tue 29-Jan-13 18:16:37

I find I am agreeing with worra a lot today!

I'm sorry, I hope you get the mental help you so clearly deserve grin

KC225 Tue 29-Jan-13 18:17:10

Reading Rooneys post - maybe it's for her 16 stone hairy husband and the reborn doll story is cover. Did anyone see the Adult Baby programme before christmas?

valiumredhead Tue 29-Jan-13 18:17:15

And? So what if it sits in the corner?

I find reborns freaky as all get out but they are usually filling a huge emotional gap ime so not for me to judge wether it's a waste or not.

If you sell something you sell it, you can't dictate what it's used for.

valiumredhead Tue 29-Jan-13 18:18:33

worra I have booked myself in for therapy asap wink

maxybrown Tue 29-Jan-13 18:19:13

I find those dolls really really odd, but it wouldn't bother me in the slightest.

DH's mother wouldn't let him have all her old towels for using on his classic car work, she said they had to go to the charity shop so someone could make proper use of them hmm yeah, so someone like him could go to the charity shop and buy them for whatever reason THEY wish..........

thegreylady Tue 29-Jan-13 18:21:15

I find reborns very very creepy and the creepiest thing is the name! reborn= born again! The haven't been 'born' in any sense at all.They are manufactured. I bought a cheapish one for my dgd when she was 9 and wanted a doll.She loved it and played with it until she was about 12.Now it is sitting on a chair in her bedroom and it gives me the willies.I wouldn't have got the thing if I'd known exactly how realistic they are.
YANBU

maxybrown Tue 29-Jan-13 18:21:32

Also, you could have sold it to someone who bought it for a baby but slung it around (the pram not the baby), kept it filfthy and then stuuck it outside their house in the rain to rot.........you'd never know. I imagine the woman with the reborn will be rather precious about it smile

MissVerinder Tue 29-Jan-13 18:22:13

Erm... I know a few mums who have bought prams etc for their daughters to put their dolls in and push around town- is it really much different?

I quite like the reborn dolls and can see the appeal to be honest.

YABU. If you like, maybe ask her why she collects the dolls. She can only tell you to fuck off grin or give you a bit more insight into it.

(Sorry, but I will piss myself laughing if you come back on here and tell us she bought it with her!)

phantomnamechanger Tue 29-Jan-13 18:26:22

Oh I know exactly how this feels OP - i gave away a travel cot and a load of stuff including baby bath, 2 high chairs, moses basket on freecycle - after some soul searching about whether we would have another baby and deciding no - we gave a whole heap of stuff to a young teen who was pg and living at home, she and her mum were really grateful - all good. We could have sold a lot of it but did not need the money and wanted to be generous to someone who needed it. we sent all the baby clothes to the tsunami appeal.

But the lady who came for our travel cot......only wanted it for her litter of puppies.
I was gutted. What a cheek - not to even say that before coming to collect - OK, it was not in mint condition but it would have done someone a turn. And she was going to trash it keeping puppies in it then send it to the tip. When someone could have really used it.

YABU I don't like reborn dolls, but they give a lot of happiness and comfort to people in a harmless way. Of course she wants a real pram for it, and what difference does it make to you?

I really don't understand your problem with it.

ArtemisiaGentileschisThumb Tue 29-Jan-13 18:28:23

I can see why your sad to let the pram go but it's none of your business what the new owner does with it, it's hers now. If she wants to put a doll, a dog or a goldfish in it that's up to her.

Regardless of what she's using it for it should be cleaned before collection anyway, that's just common decency

specialsubject Tue 29-Jan-13 18:28:29

you've come across some somewhat unusual behaviour which is why you feel odd.

she paid, she gets it. Strange hobby (hope it is that and not some psychiatric problem) but that's a free society for you.

write it off as 'more money than sense' and move on.

Fakebook Tue 29-Jan-13 18:28:45

I think I watched a documentary about this once. Some people have the dolls especially made to look like the child they might have lost or died. I think it's quite sad.

RobinSparkles Tue 29-Jan-13 18:28:47

After being initially repulsed by these dolls, I can see the appeal for them a little.

How come everyone always assumes that people who have these dolls are people that can't have children? Or are people who have lost a child? It's possible that she is a lady who simply hasn't grown out of playing with dolls! Or perhaps she isn't going to have anymore children but misses the warmth of a newborn to hold - I can totally relate to the latter but would never get a doll as, IMHO, I find them a bit creepy.

Anyway, back to the AIBU - OP, I guess you are but it's hard to say whether I'd feel the same way. I haven't sold on my baby things yet but my sister sold my nephew's Moses basket a couple of years ago and she was told that it was for a doll. It was a gift from a grandmother to her granddaughter, for a doll she had, apparently. My sister wasn't bothered, she was just glad of the money grin.

KC225 Tue 29-Jan-13 18:29:35

Miss Verinder:- especially if she's stuffed it up her jumper

CajaDeLaMemoria Tue 29-Jan-13 18:32:39

It's not just infertile women who get these dolls.

In fact in my experience the minority are infertile. I did a college project on them, and visited a UK wide meet up. Most had 'real' children - - 3 or 4 or 5, but wanted more. Needed more. One lady had had two sets of twins and was desperate for ababy but her husband didnt want more.

Altinkum Tue 29-Jan-13 18:33:02

Wouldn't bother me, I've sold it, what happens after it, its not my problem, if it had sentimental value, in where is be concerned what happens in what happens to it afterwards then I wouldn't sell it.

For all you know the "novelty" will ware off and it will end up in a dump, or be used as a gig carrier etc...

Altinkum Tue 29-Jan-13 18:33:32

*dog

frasersmummy Tue 29-Jan-13 18:34:08

as the mother of a stillborn child I cant imagine anything worse for someone in a position like mine..

another little gorgeous baby who doesnt breathe , move or cry is too horrific to contemplate so I am fairly safe in thinking I wont get flamed for saying its not mothers of stillborn children that are buying them

Viviennemary Tue 29-Jan-13 18:37:53

No. I wouldn't hand it over. YANBU. I saw a programme about these dolls and I tried to keep an open mind but thought it was totally sick by the end of it. I started off thinking ah well it's harmless. But it's creepy. Just say you've just found out your sister's pregnant or something.

maxybrown Tue 29-Jan-13 18:38:02

But phantom someone DID really use it, it was recycled and used purposefully by someone

Sneezingwakesthebaby Tue 29-Jan-13 18:38:38

YABU. Even if she was buying it to chop up and throw in the bin, its not your business after it has been sold. Reminds me of the time our local fb selling page went into meltdown because someone sold a bag of baby clothes and wanted them back a couple of days later just because the buyer had bought them for a reborn doll.

phantomnamechanger Tue 29-Jan-13 18:38:47

I agree with you on that frasersmummy - our DD3 was stillborn - no way would a doll have been an acceptable replacement - and if its true that some people actually have them made to look like their babies who've died in infancy, then I find that totallly unfathomable even though its tragedy that leads to that

Viviennemary Tue 29-Jan-13 18:39:17

Didn't see your post frasersmummy. So sorry about your baby. And I agree completely with you.

phantomnamechanger Tue 29-Jan-13 18:41:45

I know maxy - someone did reuse it, but I wanted it to be used properly by someone who needed it for their baby, possibly subsequently handed on again. Not just trashed over a few weeks by a litter of puppies then no use to anyone ever again! I felt conned. My generosity had been somehow trampled on. I'd said no to other people who I would have given priority to had I known it was intended only for puppies.

RobinSparkles Tue 29-Jan-13 18:42:42

Frasersmummy that's what I would have thought too. I'm so sorry for your loss.

In The documentary I watched about these dolls there wasn't anyone who wanted the doll to look like a child that had died. There was one woman who didn't want children as she liked her lifestyle and thought they were too much work but seemed to like the idea of having a baby and there was another woman who wanted a doll to look like her GS, as a baby, he had gone to live in a different country. That might be a bit odd to some but he wasn't dead, just elsewhere!

RobinSparkles Tue 29-Jan-13 18:44:28

Sorry my sentences are far too long!

maxybrown Tue 29-Jan-13 18:44:31

fair enough, but they could have lied then you still wouldn't have known I guess....like I said though I've seen people use things for their children and trash them in a matter of days, urgh

KC225 Tue 29-Jan-13 18:49:13

On the documentary there were no mums of stillborns. One granny that talked about grandson as if he had died but it turned out he emigrated to Australia but she had the doll made to look like a photograph of when he was a baby. One woman admitted she didn't like real babies as they were too messy and not perfect. She freaked out when her new newborn had a crack as she had bonded with it.

My friend bought her daughter one and it was very odd. They would chase me with it and I'd scream. Funny because I'm fine with spiders and mice

maxybrown Tue 29-Jan-13 18:52:53

Yes I watched that KC, the Grandma one was a bit odd

McNewPants2013 Tue 29-Jan-13 18:53:41

Just think your baby was the last baby to use that pram and it will stay lovely and clean for years to come and be very well looked after.

RobinSparkles Tue 29-Jan-13 18:55:53

That was the one I meant KC. It was quite fascinating but typical of channel 4 how they edited it to look like that lady's GS had died! smile

pictish Tue 29-Jan-13 19:00:43

I just don't have that sort of sentimental attachment to baby stuff. Once it was done with, I was glad to get it out of the way. Cumbersome bollocks that it is.

thixotropic Tue 29-Jan-13 19:05:19

I tend to think 'each to their own' for most harmless hobbies.

But my word, them things are lodged well and truly in uncanny valley.

And I cant help but think of what frasersmummy said. Sorry for your loss.

KC225 Tue 29-Jan-13 19:08:43

McNew has the right idea - that is sound advice

I don't think you can refuse to sell it to her after she has bought it. You'll just have to think of something to say when she asks if you would like a hold - maybe say you are allergic to latex or something

RobynS and MaxyB - that programme was compulsive viewing, I'd never heard of it before.

grumblinalong Tue 29-Jan-13 19:11:05

I know she can do what she wants with it, when she gives me the cash. I suppose I just do not like these dolls so that has given me 'the willies' as another poster put. DH was also non plussed why I'm bothered. I know I am weird. I just had the utopian view that someone would get good use out of it for their little girl or boy.

Agree that these dolls aren't a draw for those who have lost babies. I have personal experience and couldn't think of anything worse tbh. Perhaps my feelings are tangled.

I will smile serenely and maybe enquire politely about the dolls name, weight etc :-)

babybarrister Tue 29-Jan-13 19:13:54

What find really odd is that the equipment purchased would be for use to carry reborn doll outside - do people really put dolls in cars and travel around with them or wheel prams around with dolls in hmm

comingintomyown Tue 29-Jan-13 19:26:19

I saw that documentary too and it freaked me out and when the woman rejected her imperfect doll after lavishing all that attention on it - really odd

Anyway YABU in the logical trading standards sense after all you may not ever have known but for me YANBU I would be disconcerted too

wanderingcloud Tue 29-Jan-13 19:36:52

I'm another who simply cannot get my head around it AT ALL.

And like you OP, I would feel really funny handing over baby things to someone who had no intention of using them for a baby.

But I accept that IABU to feel that way.

quoteunquote Tue 29-Jan-13 19:42:22

putting aside the concept that the reborn baby thing is taking advantage of vulnerable adults,

Just try to think of your pram bring some comfort to fellow human.

Many years ago, I worked in a community which was set up for adults with special needs, a sort of mini village,farm,craft work shops, all set up on Steiner principles, some of the lovely residents really loved having a doll(baby), and taking their baby for walks in a proper buggy,total joy, it's not harming anyone , it's making someone happy, and that can only be a very good thing.

I find them really creepy and just make me think of dead babies, but if it makes someone happy, and doesn't hurt anyone, why worry.

LittleChimneyDroppings Tue 29-Jan-13 19:45:59

Wow, I wouldn't give a teeny tiny rats arse what she wanted the pram for. She's paying for it, so whats the problem. And personally I think those dolls are quite beautiful.

grumblinalong Tue 29-Jan-13 19:53:11

quoteunquote you are right. If it helps then who am I to judge. People have much more destructive habits. Thanks for the relatively gentle kicking by MN standards everyone.

GirlOutNumbered Tue 29-Jan-13 19:55:12

I just googled them too, never heard of the.pm. Must admit the picture on Wikipedia freaked me out. Not sure why.

However Yabu. I would expect the pram to be clean if I had just bought it from someone!

mrsbunnylove Tue 29-Jan-13 19:55:33

i couldn't be bothered with a reborn doll but i don't think its a problem that other people want them. i discovered loads of my internet acquaintance (sp?) have weirdo doll habits, like having dolls they take out and photograph in random places.

EldritchCleavage Tue 29-Jan-13 20:00:12

Why on earth are they called 'reborn' dolls?

mrswoz Tue 29-Jan-13 20:02:29

At the risk of sounding a bit greedy - I have found that buyers on eBay wanting baby items to use with reborns, are often willing to pay over the odds to get the pram/crib/clothing they really like!

I had some baby shoes to sell, were fetching 99p in the baby clothes category, yet selling for £6-8 in reborn clothing. Which category do you think I listed them in? grin

As far as I can see the ladies treat these dolls as a hobby, and as long as they've paid for their items I don't think it matters what they use them for.

pigletmania Tue 29-Jan-13 20:02:53

Yabvu those reborn dolls give comfort to those who have lost a baby or who cannot have children. If it helps teir grieving process so be it. The woman paid for the items so they are hers, you don't know her hatry so cannot judge

pigletmania Tue 29-Jan-13 20:03:23

Her history

everlong Tue 29-Jan-13 20:06:53

Awful freaky things. The dolls that is.

LynetteScavo Tue 29-Jan-13 20:09:48

I've known about re-borns for sometime, and have come to the conclusion (feel free to correct me if you think I am wrong) that people who engage with re-borns and some deep seated need (and have psychological problems which are - happily- being met), and can understand why they pay over the odds for equipment.

I can also see your side. I would rather my baby stuff went to a relative than someone I didn't know. Silly..relative may not need hand-me-downs..total stranger may be in dire need. confused

bumhead Tue 29-Jan-13 20:16:12

I know a lady who collects these dolls.
She had 2 stillborn babies, one after another sad
She ended up with a hysterectomy and so has these dolls as some kind of way of coping with the grief. Sort of the babies that can't be taken from her. I think there is often that void that these babies fulfil for some of these collectors.

For those of you getting het up because you feel these dolls take the piss out of 'real mothers' with all the work that entails, just thank god you are in that position. For some women they would do anything to be in your position and are just dealing with their emptiness in a way that helps them.
FFS it's not hurting you is it?

Softlysoftly Tue 29-Jan-13 20:16:16

Am I the only one that is glad it's a doll?
Because no mother should be buying a 2nd hand car seat for a real baby. In fact I
Think ebay should ban the sale of them.

Having said that I hate the dolls but watching the documentary on them what stood out was the grandma having a replica of the grandchild who moved away made and how totally broken heated she was when her dh said he couldn't hack it as it looked dead sad feels like the company is abusing these people's pain.

bumhead Tue 29-Jan-13 20:16:26

ps YABU

Softlysoftly Tue 29-Jan-13 20:17:23

*hearted

grumblinalong Tue 29-Jan-13 20:20:38

piglet It's quite offensive that you think people whose babies have died would feel the need to replace them with dolls. These dolls would never be a 'replacement' for real DC's and the lives they should have lead. Think I might have to step away from this thread now.

bumhead Tue 29-Jan-13 20:27:50

No-one said they were a 'replacement' for a real DC, I think for those ladies who have a reborn and have lost a baby, these dolls just fulfil a part of their grieving process. I have lost a baby and I don't feel the need for one of these dolls but those ladies are not me. Everyone is different.
Having been in that situation I wouldn't begrudge anyone something that helps them deal with their pain.

RobinSparkles Tue 29-Jan-13 20:29:18

Thanks for that tip MrsWoz! I have a Moses basket that I need to flog grin.

The two people I know who have them have lost children and had the dolls made with the same colouring as their babies had.

I have lost two children and its not what I would choose to do, but its true that some Mothers find a little comfort in having a doll made to symbolise their baby.

In the same way that I display photos and find comfort in my childrens teddy bears and clothes they wore some people find that comfort in these dolls.

I really don't think piglets post was offensive at all.

RobinSparkles Tue 29-Jan-13 20:35:27

Piglet never said that the dolls were a replacement! She said that the dolls were probably a comfort and helped the grieving process. You are putting words in her mouth!

RobinSparkles Tue 29-Jan-13 20:36:08

That was to Grumblingalong.

GuffSmuggler Tue 29-Jan-13 20:38:28

At least she's not buying it for her dogs. There used to be a woman near where I lived who pushed her small dogs around in a pram all dressed up pretending they were babies!!

Getoutofmygumboot Tue 29-Jan-13 20:46:54

I understand how you feel, I have my silver cross up for sale but I am very attached to it as dd is pfb.

Those dolls are freaky and I would be a bit hmm and sad about it, but it's not up to me what someone else uses it for, an I'm sure I would get over it.

apostropheuse Tue 29-Jan-13 20:54:05

YABVU

It's absolutely none of your business what she does with an item she now owns.

She's paid you the money so once she picks up the pram it's got nothing to do with you what happens to it. If she wants to put it into her garden and grow plants in it, or give it to the local children to make a go-kart out of, it's her business.

I can't understand people who get attached to inanimate objects. I really can't. For this reason I also think that the reborn dolls are totally bizarre and yes they do freak me out too! grin

TheCatIsEatingIt Tue 29-Jan-13 20:59:51

I'd be creeped out by it too, but once she's won the auction, there's not a lot you can do. Has she been? Did she bring it?

McNewPants2013 Tue 29-Jan-13 21:08:16

See i would love a living dead doll, i find them fascinating.

Can't have one as they would freak out DH and the DC

MajesticWhine Tue 29-Jan-13 21:09:35

YANBU. I would feel the same. When I sell or give away baby kit, I like to imagine another baby getting good use out of it.

delphinedownunder Tue 29-Jan-13 21:16:10

I can see that you might be a bit perplexed at the waste, given that your pram could be put to good use, but she is paying at the end of the day and I would let it go! When I got married, I bought a lovely ivory basque, but didn't wear it as I lost a surprising amount of weight. I sold it and envisaged it going to a bride. It was picked up by a guy who told me very openly he was buying it for himself as he liked to dress up!

lovelyladuree Tue 29-Jan-13 21:16:17

What Worra said. YABU.

LittleChimneyDroppings Tue 29-Jan-13 21:17:25

Its an incorrect assumption that its only the women who have lost a child or who are unable to have children who have these dolls though. I'd quite like one, although I wouldn't want to spend that kind of money on one.

Maryz Tue 29-Jan-13 21:31:37

Imagine the pram vs wheelchair on bus thread if the pram was inhabited by a reborn shock

And why "reborn"? They weren't born in the first place.

And, yes, I also wanted my pass-me-downs to be well-loved and appreciated but they seldom are, even by real babies, so YAB(understandably)U grin

Maryz Tue 29-Jan-13 21:32:31

And [arf] at delphine grin How romantic - NOT!

McNewPants2013 Tue 29-Jan-13 21:36:34
HollyBerryBush Tue 29-Jan-13 21:40:16

I have jumped the tread, so it might have moved on, but based on your OP

I'm annoyed cos I've scrubbed the blasted thing thinking a human baby was going in it and I feel odd about the doll thing

Whether she is putting a baby, a doll or a fecking rabbit with a wooden leg in the pram - you have a duty to sell it as fit for purpose can CLEAN

fishcalledwonder Tue 29-Jan-13 21:41:04

You probably are being very unreasonable, but I would feel exactly the same.

pigletmania Tue 29-Jan-13 21:49:32

Well grumbling its true I have read about women who have lost their babies have dolls made in their image so that it provides a comfort to them. Hw is it offensive just because you have never heard if it. Why don't you tell these women your views and see how far you go!

sukysue Tue 29-Jan-13 21:51:18

they are bloody nuts if you ask me yadnbu!

Maryz Tue 29-Jan-13 22:07:18

You are kidding McNewPants shock.

How did I miss that?

I'm usually on all the buggy/bus/p&cparking threads, I lurve them grin

<off to seethe read>

grumblinalong Tue 29-Jan-13 22:17:30

I am not going to refuse to hand it over. She won it fair and square. I've now arranged to meet her at the bus station so I'm not all bad.

It was clean anyway but I miltoned all the hard bits too because I thought I should.

I have lost a baby (Dd's twin) so I think it's just going to be weird for me to think that a silicone doll gets to go in it. Not a real child.

Pictureperfect Tue 29-Jan-13 22:22:07

I think reborn dolls are one thing but find ones with oxygen, NG tubes and various medical things a bit :/

pigletmania Tue 29-Jan-13 22:23:32

I suppose it's horses for courses if these dolls help the women in whatever way who are we to judge. They are not harming anybody but I can understand why you feel that way. But I guess you put your feelings aside.

Hunnibee66 Mon 17-Jun-13 23:23:04

I must admit that when I first saw them I hated them but I have seen the amount of work that goes into them and the difference they can make to people for all sorts of reasons and have grown to have a grudging respect for them. They can be upwards of £300 for a good quality reborn doll and somebody spent hours painting veins and nail beds, rooting a single hair at a time, building up realistic flesh tones and even adding milia if they are asked to. So it is unlikely to be a toy to this lady and she has chosen your pram and carseat as the pedestals to display this prized possession on to be scrutized by any friends or relatives. Far from feeling weird you should love that your beautiful baby may be the last real child to use it despite it providing a safe place for something that may be helping someone to mend a broken heart for all we know.

theodorakisses Tue 18-Jun-13 08:26:19

I can see how you would feel, especially with something with so many memories attached. I would have to make a feeble excuse and withdraw it. Not in anyway reasonable or sane but it is a free country (well, my opinions on that are another thread entirely but you know what I mean).

FridaKarlov Tue 18-Jun-13 09:07:25

I think that once she's paid for it, it's her business what she uses it for- be it dolls, dogs or whatever.

Those reborn dolls do chill my blood though. I think it's the 'uncanny valley' effect: http://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uncanny_valley

A friend of mine saw a lady wheeling one around Chester Zoo in a buggy. I've always wondered if they get a bit embarrassed if someone makes a fuss over the doll, thinking its a real baby.

PeterParkerSays Tue 18-Jun-13 09:14:42

I'd be more weirded out by seeing her on the bus with the blasted doll - surely the fact that she's buying it a pram suggests she's going to take it out in it? confused

I get your feeling of yuck about this, and personally I think I'd prefer a pram to either go to a real baby or something completely different - prop in a play etc. but she has bought it. I also think resepct to her for saying what it's for. She could have said she's buying it for her SiL or something, and not told the truth.

VeganCow Tue 18-Jun-13 09:38:13

YABU. She paid money for it, is going out of her way to collect it. As for treating it with the love and respect you were hoping a new owner would I doubt you have any worries there. Saw a prog on tv once about these reborn obsessives, and I think she will love your pram like no one else could!

lottieandmia Tue 18-Jun-13 09:41:37

I think YABU. If you have a criteria for who you want to buy your stuff then don't sell it on ebay tbh. It's not really even your business who has it once they've paid the money for it, sorry.

AmyFarrahFowlerCooper Tue 18-Jun-13 09:44:17

Considering this happened in January, I suppose she's well over it!

Triumphoveradversity Tue 18-Jun-13 09:44:18

I don't like dolls at all but personally from my limited experience of seeing on them on tv and I do know one person with dolls many of these women have a tragic tale to tell.

It would not bother me at all and YABU as she has paid for it.

eeek zombie thread!!

tankflybosswalkjamnittygritty Tue 18-Jun-13 10:46:04

YABU. She's not harming anyone and if it makes her happy...

plainjaney Tue 18-Jun-13 10:59:57

I collect dolls (not reborns though, they do give me the chills but each to their own), the dolls I collect are mostly Blythe and Japanese Pullip dolls but being in the doll community I've come across reborn dolls and artists so I can explain a few things.

Reborn doesn't refer to being born in the general sense. Most reborn dolls start out life as a standard plastic doll that can be bought online. The artist then takes the doll, usually gets rid of the body and replaces it with a weighted bean body to an average baby weight.
The heads are then painstakingly painted with minute detail, hair is hand sewn into the heads and eyebrows. Every nail gets hand crafted and every blemish on the skin is painted in fine detail. The people who make these are incredibly talented.
The baby doll is 'reborn' from the plastic doll. Hence the name.

As for why they can't use dolls prams, well the answer is above really, the dolls are newborn size and weight so an 8lb 20 inch baby doll is going to look enormous in a toy pram.

As I say, not a fan myself but each to their own.

plainjaney Tue 18-Jun-13 11:01:06

Just realised how old this thread is!
That will teach me not to read fully blush

theodorakisses Tue 18-Jun-13 11:55:33

Has anyone asked the important question? In order to get in and out of the car, will she use a P and T space? Neither a parent nor a child.

quoteunquote Tue 18-Jun-13 11:57:06

ZOMBIE THREAD

specialmagiclady Tue 18-Jun-13 13:06:07

Yanbu to feel like this (eeeew) but YWBVU if you took any action.

Shelby2010 Tue 18-Jun-13 13:18:20

Reborns are creepy, but ZOMBIE reborns are just scary!

sallysparrow157 Tue 18-Jun-13 13:18:33

Zombie thread about scary dolls..... Don't have nightmares!!

Ang31 Wed 03-Jul-13 22:23:57

I can understand why some people may find reborns a little scary but there is always a reason behind why someone does something and why they may have a reborn and take it out in a pushchair. Mean some woman may physically cant have a child and may find comfort in having a reborn and not everyone has the time and money to have a real baby. I can understand that it may have shocked you a little that you have sold your pram to a woman using it for a reborn but should all that matter at the end of the day to you is that you have cash for your pushchair.

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