To think DW serves dinner in a non-optimal way

(95 Posts)
TheRevengeOfMrGrumpy Mon 28-Jan-13 23:23:17

Sunday lunch for example:

Lift plate1, peas, carrots spuds, meat etc
Lift plate2, peas, carrots spuds, meat etc

Takes ages.

When I do it (majority of time):

Lift carrots - plate 1, plate 2, plate 3, plate 4, plate 5
Lift peas - plate 1, plate 2, plate 3, plate 4, plate 5

Seems much much faster and food is hotter when it arrives on table.

sausagesandwich34 Mon 28-Jan-13 23:24:15

you do it then


HollyBerryBush Mon 28-Jan-13 23:25:08

go out for lunch


NatashaBee Mon 28-Jan-13 23:26:23

You cook it then!

Well done on starting the pettiest thread known to man grin

It doesn't matter, scrap the dinner, get fish and chips and shag instead.

Dothraki Mon 28-Jan-13 23:26:50

sausage grin

Bluestocking Mon 28-Jan-13 23:26:54

So offer to dish up yourself then?

weegiemum Mon 28-Jan-13 23:27:32

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

nurseneedshelp Mon 28-Jan-13 23:28:39


ceeveebee Mon 28-Jan-13 23:30:32

As OP says he usually does it himself so not sure why all the snide comments, if OP was posting about DH I'm sure they'd be lots of agreement

And I agree with you, she's wasting valuable eating time

flow4 Mon 28-Jan-13 23:30:48

In the time you wasted took writing this MrGrumpy, you could have prepared tomorrow's meals too...

LadyBeagleEyes Mon 28-Jan-13 23:31:39

He does do it the majority of the time.
It says in the Op.
I do it your way Op.
I think this was supposed to be lighthearted wasn't it? confused

galletti Mon 28-Jan-13 23:32:12

dh does method one - works for us! Especially for me, as he does it!

BerthaKitt Mon 28-Jan-13 23:32:34

You remind me of Jason Thunderpants. Are you him? Is he you?

As for the pressing issue of serving up lunch, Y may or may not BU, I will have to conduct a timed experiment at dinner tomorrow and get back to you.

MorrisZapp Mon 28-Jan-13 23:32:49


That would annoy me.

TrinityRhino Mon 28-Jan-13 23:33:57

I do your method

easier to divvy it up the way I want between big and little people and big and little appetites

TheRevengeOfMrGrumpy Mon 28-Jan-13 23:36:28

No, not Jason Thunderpants, but I loved some of his threads.

I show her the optimal way, but she insists on doing it her long winded way.

YANBU. I do it the sensible way too grin

And my mil does it your wife's way!

Of course, for optimal serving speed, lob it all in a communal trough and dive in.

2LBroomStick Mon 28-Jan-13 23:39:07


ilovesooty Mon 28-Jan-13 23:40:41

Just liquidise everything and attach yourself to an IV.

senua Mon 28-Jan-13 23:42:43

Surely the optimal way is to put it (once) in a servng dish and let people help themselves. Many hands make light work.
It's never to soon to introduce the DC to the concept of delegation.

ceeveebee Mon 28-Jan-13 23:45:41

And create 3 or 4 extra dishes to wash?
I only use serving dishes when we have guests. And I've read research saying people eat more if food served in dishes rather than plated up

BegoniaBampot Mon 28-Jan-13 23:48:19

Shit, too much wine, I'm still trying to work it out!

ElliesWellies Mon 28-Jan-13 23:50:04

So long as you warm the plates, I would have thought either is fine...

StuntGirl Tue 29-Jan-13 00:05:43

I don't care how people serve it up as long as I get to eat it grin

TheRevengeOfMrGrumpy Tue 29-Jan-13 00:07:19

Aye but would you prefer it hot or luke warm?

Monty27 Tue 29-Jan-13 00:08:18

I take it you're sitting on your arse while this is going on. Aw do you have to go over a bridge to collect it.

Hee hee weegie, I've only been deleted once.

HopAndSkip Tue 29-Jan-13 00:11:36

YANBU, maybe she likes the accomplishment of finishing each plate one at a time? grin

You think you have problems?

My dp fully serves up one plate of food, brings it to the recipient, goes back to the kitchen, gets the next plate and repeats!

It takes forever!

And he's a bloody chef.

<and breathe>

TheRevengeOfMrGrumpy Tue 29-Jan-13 00:12:14

Well monty you'd be wrong. I'd be laying the table, dragging the kids away from the Wii to wash their hands and also getting their drinks. Then they sit there waiting for 5 mins.

tethersend Tue 29-Jan-13 00:13:23

It's hard to get the arsenic into one person's food the way you do it.

TheRevengeOfMrGrumpy Tue 29-Jan-13 00:14:50

southerncomforts - I forgot to include the cutting up of the meat, spuds and large veg for our toddler, before she then goes on to serve the rest. I say I'll do that and to carry on serving the rest, but apparently, I can't cut up food like she can smile

PootlePosyPerkin Tue 29-Jan-13 00:16:31

thethersend grin.

YANBU OP, I do it your way too. Don't spend too much time showing your DW the error of her ways though will you? There are bigger things to worry about - such as the way she layers her trifle grin.

TheRevengeOfMrGrumpy Tue 29-Jan-13 00:20:33

I could complain about how long it takes her to bring me my morning cup of tea too, but I keep quiet about that. I suspect it's locating the Bromide from the hiding place that causes the delay.

DupontetDupond Tue 29-Jan-13 00:20:38

Hmmm... It's the time aspect for me. If I was sitting waiting for my nice hot lunch and it was taking forever I'd feel like the punters in the legendary Two Soups...

Though I'm sure your DW has all her own teeth...

CuriousMama Tue 29-Jan-13 00:22:42

Easier to have staff imo.

Monty27 Tue 29-Jan-13 00:26:35

'Well monty you'd be wrong. I'd be laying the table, dragging the kids away from the Wii to wash their hands and also getting their drinks. Then they sit there waiting for 5 mins.'

Oooh Mr Grumpy.

It's you isn't it, the troll that mn likes and allows, it must be.......?

<tries hard for second deletion after 8 years)

Jojobump1986 Tue 29-Jan-13 00:26:45

OP, you'd hate my PILs. When they have family gatherings my FIL serves up the main dish at the table - usually a roast so he'll carve each portion as he goes - & then hands the plate to MIL who takes it back into the kitchen to add the veg. Often FIL hasn't finished carving the next portion before MIL gets back with the previous one because he gets distracted talking to someone & MIL has to remind him to keep going when she returns. Usually the first person served has finished eating before PILs sit down with theirs. It's excruciatingly slow!

BupcakesAndCunting Tue 29-Jan-13 01:40:53

This is what hostess trolleys are for.

<1970s wife>

Monty27 Tue 29-Jan-13 01:51:07

Bups grin

Oh I need to see Abigail's Party again.

DoItToJulia Tue 29-Jan-13 01:53:31

Hmmm...why do you allow such madness in your home?

Go the whole hog and put your foot down with a firm hand and impose your superior dinner serving way upon her.


I don't care as long as I'm not the one doing it

EugenesAxe Tue 29-Jan-13 02:33:02

Meat onto plates. All other food into heated vessels on table & everyone helps themselves/passes around.

This has the added bonus of teaching division & politeness/ awareness of the needs of others.

My PIL divvy all up in the kitchen & it drives me slightly bonkers 'Does Eugene want beans? Will the children eat parsnip?'.

Lueji Tue 29-Jan-13 02:57:23

Serve food????

Away from the table????

Bluegrass Tue 29-Jan-13 02:59:33


cafecito Tue 29-Jan-13 03:06:03

yanbu, it'll go cold. I avoid this conundrum by not owning any plates, cutlery, or cooking equipment = no washing up, no cold food, no domestic disagreements. My christmas dinner was like this though (was sat there for 30 mins while they faffed about) - v annoying

cafecito Tue 29-Jan-13 03:06:54

but in general, agree with Eugenes

littlewhitebag Tue 29-Jan-13 06:19:27

Mr Grumpy. Your way is correct as that is the way I do it and I am always right in matters such as this.

AppleOgies Tue 29-Jan-13 06:43:38

Her way is highly inefficient... I think from now on you will have to do it, else you'll all be eating cold dinners.

TotallyBS Tue 29-Jan-13 07:02:24


Doing in my/your way I can ensure everybody gets equal amounts of whatever.

TotallyBS Tue 29-Jan-13 07:04:26

Here is a glass of wine to all those snipey souls who are talking this thread way too seriously.

Branleuse Tue 29-Jan-13 07:18:25


Iaintdunnuffink Tue 29-Jan-13 07:37:02

I do both methods, depending on how I feel. That's how wild I am grin

Tee2072 Tue 29-Jan-13 07:57:55

I honestly had to stop and think about how I serve food! Such a dilemma on a Tuesday morning.

It should also be noted that I had to double check what day it is.

BupcakesAndCunting Tue 29-Jan-13 08:23:00

"My PIL divvy all up in the kitchen & it drives me slightly bonkers 'Does Eugene want beans? Will the children eat parsnip?'."

Oh Please tell me that you have a child called Eugene. It is an excellent name.

MIL also does this. It makes my stress vein swell up. And there are usually 7 of us for lunch. And she has a tiny kitchen so only one of you can go and dish your food onto your plate at a time. That is fun, as you can imagine.

I do it at home if it's just me, DH and DS because, well, it doesn't take long.

HazleNutt Tue 29-Jan-13 08:29:18

You're both wrong. Put the carrots, peas etc on the table and let everybody help themselves.

valiumredhead Tue 29-Jan-13 08:37:14

If the plates are heated it shouldn't make a difference how it served.

I couldn't tell you how I dish up - I just do it!

HecateWhoopass Tue 29-Jan-13 08:50:45

The optimal way is to put the food into serving dishes and let everyone serve themselves. That way, there is no waste as you are not trying to determine how hungry someone else is. grin

TiggyD Tue 29-Jan-13 09:13:44

Why not send her a memo? Women love memos. And I'm sure she'll be grateful for any tips on how to improve her performance. If you don't pop a memo into her pigeonhole you'll have to wait for her next performance review to bring the matter up.

sheeplikessleep Tue 29-Jan-13 09:17:52

MIL dishes up the veg about 20 minutes before meat.
Cue cold brocolli, carrots and peas.

KurriKurri Tue 29-Jan-13 09:21:34

I imagine your DW is enjoying irritating you by serving it up 'the wrong way',
My DH told me I was going round Lidl 'the wrong way' once - I make sure I always do it my way now and then I watch him going purple and the vein on his head start throbbing, - it's one of my few remaining pleasures in life.

Jules666 Tue 29-Jan-13 09:21:56

One flaw I can see with both of your methods is that you're not taking into account cooling times. Peas are going to cool at lot faster than potatoes so it's not a good idea to serve them first.

Maybe go on size of food. Biggest first as they retain their heat best, then working your way down to the smallest. grin

Even faster:

Plates on table.
Veg, meat and HELP YOUR SELF!

sheeps my MIL does it the other way round, meat 10 minutes before the rest.

TwinTum Tue 29-Jan-13 09:25:55

I usually go the serving dish method (unless just 2 of us eating). Not bothered by the extra washing up - just goes in the dishwasher. I also quite often cook a couple of types of veg together in the same pan so just serve it up together.

Greensleeves Tue 29-Jan-13 09:29:33

snot me this time Monty grin

OP I hate the whole dishing up thing anyway, just bung the food on the table and let people take what they want

my mother used to make such a big thing of "putting the dinner out", I don't do it

HecateWhoopass Tue 29-Jan-13 09:29:39

Kurri, that's really funny. grin

I sometimes have to do it your wifes way as ny kitchen is tiny and I don't have space to lay out 5 plates.

But it makes more sense to use serving dishes for veg or to do it your way.

WandaDoff Tue 29-Jan-13 09:36:16

grin Kurri

PessaryPam Tue 29-Jan-13 09:47:08

This would bring out the frustrated time and motions man in me too. I think that lazy people can be the most efficient when they do work, sound slike you are lazier than your DW grin I know I am.

Sharksandfishes Tue 29-Jan-13 09:52:53

Kurri grin I used to walk around Cheshire Oaks in an anti-clockwise direction, drove DH crazy!

MrGrumpy - you are amusing me but you are wrong grin

TheRevengeOfMrGrumpy Tue 29-Jan-13 10:26:59

"Put it in serving dishes"

Bonkers! grin Reasons why not: creates more washing up, more things that need heating up, kids will just serve themselves a plate of peas, or hog all the pigs trotters etc. That's the way of madness.

YorkshireDeb Tue 29-Jan-13 10:45:49

Ha ha! Congratulations on a very entertaining thread mr grumpy chances are though, regardless of whether you're right or she's right she's unlikely to change. And not necessarily because she's being pig headed. My do is always telling me 'better' ways of doing things, but I've been doing it my way for 34 years & it's just too hard to change. Maybe you could switch jobs for a bit? She could lay the table & get the kids ready while you serve up? X

Pandemoniaa Tue 29-Jan-13 10:55:34

Shouldn't that be suboptimal?


Pandemoniaa Tue 29-Jan-13 10:57:34

Or even sub-optimal?

<hoist on own pedantic petard>

TheRevengeOfMrGrumpy Tue 29-Jan-13 11:05:15

Pandemoniaa - maybe, though I tend not to let little things like that bother me....grin

Looking at the responses here, I cannot see any YABU comments, so I shall be pressing ahead with my 2013 Dishing Dinner Campaign.

I could have had another AIBU about how she fills the dishwasher, but I'm glad to say that she has finally come round to my way to doing this.

TomDudgeon Tue 29-Jan-13 11:45:59

I'm with your method too
But only because it's the more logical way.

Dh always whines as I don't put everything used next to the sink as I dish up and just leave it on the side.
I refuse to do it his way because when it comes down to it, it's me who loads the dishwasher after dinner and having it all next to or in the sink isn't in the slightest bit easier. So I'm not going to waste my energy before hand.

fascicle Tue 29-Jan-13 13:11:11

TheRevengeofMrGrumpy: Seems much much faster and food is hotter when it arrives on table.

Seems? You have a theory, but no proof! May I suggest a stopwatch, a thermometer and an independent adjudicator. It could be that you are watching your wife in slow motion, whilst speeding up your own performance.

MrsHoarder Tue 29-Jan-13 14:41:53

There is an operational research joke about a professor going home and watching his wife rush about in the evening, doing all the jobs. He sits and makes notes, and assuming he is working she leaves him to it.

After about a week, he presents her with an optimal way to do all the chores, telling her she will be 10% faster if she does it his way. She throws the notebook at him and tells him to f***ing do it yourself.

Somehow you reminded me of that.

ethelb Tue 29-Jan-13 14:44:35


UC Tue 29-Jan-13 14:48:46

I agree totally with MrsHoarder. If I was your DW, and you kept telling me "better ways" to do things (i.e. your ways), I would eventually crack and chuck the dinner at you. Then you could eat it off the floor. Sorry, but I just can't hack being constantly criticised and nitpicked - and it sounds like that's what you're doing to your DW.


UC Tue 29-Jan-13 14:50:25

Oh, and as for serving dishes - that way, everyone serves themselves, but YOU might lose a bit of control. Maybe you wouldn't like that? wink

ProphetOfDoom Tue 29-Jan-13 14:52:09

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Pigsmummy Tue 29-Jan-13 14:56:46

I am hungy now OP! Damn you (BU you are right about dishing up dinner).

Monty27 Tue 29-Jan-13 14:59:31

Greeney wink

HeathRobinson Tue 29-Jan-13 15:00:54

Yes, indeed. grin

HazleNutt Tue 29-Jan-13 15:02:21

But so what if the kids eat only peas if you use serving dishes? I for example hate carrots, would be just a waste if someone plated a load of them out for me.

FunnysInLaJardin Tue 29-Jan-13 15:06:01

do none of you people have microwaves? If it has gone cold mid serve then simply warm it up. Voila

nickelbabe Tue 29-Jan-13 15:20:33

totally YANBU.

my family way of doing it is to put everything into tureens and let everyone serve themselves at the table.
means no one has to be in charge of the boring bit.

nickelbabe Tue 29-Jan-13 15:23:11

please tell her she really doesn't need to cut up food for the toddler

DD is 13 mo and we only cut up food into her shape for about 2 months (and then they were bigger so she could hold and eat the same piece f food)

Nagoo Tue 29-Jan-13 15:34:29

Sub-optimal indeed.

She should lob ladlefuls at you direct from the pan.

You do have a serving hatch?

nickelbabe Tue 29-Jan-13 15:42:39

oooh, yes, good idea about the stop watch - then you can have a "plate-off" where you both get to serve dinner your way (with no speeding up deliberately for the timer!), and prove which is fastest.

EugenesAxe Wed 30-Jan-13 06:08:36

'..serve themselves a plate of peas, or hog all the pig's trotters...'

Reference my 'promotes understanding of the needs of others' point. You can give them anything they don't take themselves - we always had to have one Brussels sprout, and now we all like them!

Bupcakes - sadly no. It was in reference to my MN name. Makes me think of Grease personally... and 'Careful With That Axe Eugene' of course.

Monty27 Thu 31-Jan-13 00:42:38

Put a (warm) ramekin dish on the (warm) dinner plate with the peas in it. With their own seperate teaspoon. A la gastro pish pubs.


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