to close CSA case?(83 Posts)
Because they don't seem to have the first clue of what they're meant to do?
DS was born in the March of 08 and I went to the CSA in the October. Since then he has had three payments of £5 because my ex signed on. He change jobs frequently and is very open about why he does it. When they get too near to pinning him down for payments, he leaves work. He works in an industry where he has plenty of friends, some of who again openly admit they have not sent relevant information to the CSA as "it will get him in shit". I have told the CSA where he's worked for the past three jobs. He's been in his current place since September and they're still waiting for paperwork (wage slips etc) from them. He earns a lot more than i do and pays no rent/council tax/utilities and yet the people who are meant to be the ones pinning him down either just can't be arsed or have no idea how! I asked after 4 years to have it transferred to the legal enforcement team but they feel the need to give him more chances. Now there's talk of them "charging for the service" what fucking service?!
AIBU just to shut the case and forget about it?
I would only close the case once the CSA start charging.
does the stress its causing you. outweigh the need and moral for the money ? I've a ds same age and didn't bother I figured if he doesn't want to contribute that much then I don't want his money. really for you though.
I think parents should be allowed to take people to court for this kind of thing. Can't it be done? I mean..if he owed council tax hed be in prison so they CAN enforce payments when they want to!
That's it sparkly despite the fact I'm flogging a dead horse trying to get him to pay anything towards DS, he is a twat and contributes nothing, emotionally nor physically. Do I really want it anyway? It would go straight in DS' trust fund unless there was some big expenditure but I do that monthly anyway. I just really do not see the point in carrying on this charade any longer. He's had £15 in almost 5 years and I feel money grabbing chasing him.
According to their website the csa can revoke driving licences, passports and the offending parent can be sent to prison. I am still in the first stage after over 4 years because he is a job-hopper
technical term and every time he changes jobs they start all over again. All it would take is for someone to listen when I call them and say "right here's what we can enforce and how, are you happy with that" as it is all I ever hear is I'll pass it to so-and-so on such-and-such team and they'll call you next week, next week never happens with the CSA ha
I enjoy went to my MP about them about 3 years ago and they offered me £50 as compensation. Needless to say I didn't take it and told them exactly what I wanted. I think most people who are chasing a non-compliant
dickheadparent know how shite the CSA are and its readily accepted by the government/MP's. It boils my blood
you're not money grabbing at all. your ds deserves a contribution from him. but then he deserves a lot more too. but not at the expense of your health and sanity. sorry for awful typing on phone and only just started using it for mn.
I think I would be inclined to make a call to your local paper to see if they wished to send over a young enthusiastic reporter to write your story. Name and shame the man.
Same here! I don't enjoy going to the MP! Damn phone
I guess I just don't want to get it wrong either way, if he pays I feel like he can use that to his advantage and would probably get it touch (which would be awful as DS has no idea who he is) and yet if I don't I feel this crazy, vengeful, braveheart type feeling take over
I think I'm just going to close it, as you say it's not worth it when the bad outweighs the good. We managed on next to nothing for a long time and things are definitely looking up financially now so it's not needed as such. Thank you Sparkly
could you go to the small claims courts yourself
Queen I would LOVE to!!! I have my days of thinking up revenge for him but it would all come out to my DS in later life and bite me on the arse, Jeremy Vile style it's crap being the bigger person!!!
I haven't looked in to it McNew and tbh I have no idea how it works hence using the CSA
I don't agree with my
bastard cheating ExH very often but on the subject of the CSA, I do. His first wife left him for his best friend. He paid her an agreeed amount every week without fail. She lied to the CSA and told them he hadn't and also lied about the fact that she was working. They then did an attachement of earnings order and took a huge amount from his pay each month. He always said thay targeting the decent people with steady jobs as they were easy prey and left the dodging bastrds, the ones they were set up to sort out alone because it's too much like hard work.
In America, you can go to prison for not paying CS, if they did that in this country, the shithead, wankstain, poor excuses for parents, might think twice.
I'm in a similar position OP. DS is 6.5 and over the past six or so years I've chased the CSA numerous times, written to my MP 3 times which escalated my case to the legal enforcement team and the CSA took him to court, tge judge ordered him to start paying off his arrears and I started getting £3.25 per week . They then reassessed him as he had a new employer, ordered him to pay £154 per month which he refused to do. The CSA issued a deduction of earnings order and he promptly left his job. I've had nothing since. They can't even tell me if he's working, claiming benefits or something else (working cash in hand, being 'kept' by a partner).
It's unbelievably stressful constantly having to chase such an inept organisation and I've considered closing my case numerous times. The only thing that makes me carry on is knowing that I didn't magically create DS by myself. He has two parents and both should contribute to his upbringing, not just one. My ex is completely non-compliant and also chose never to be involved in DS's life, both things which piss me off no end. I feel your pain.
MammaTJ I could not agree with you more. I know one couple who had a horrendous split and didn't speak to all monies went through the CSA. He paid, she never received it, both could prove this and yet the CSA still chase him for 'arrears'. I also know someone who is in your ExH's situation. It baffles me!!
SoftKitty (Love the name ) I am with you on everything you say. I cannot believe its was escalated and STILL put you back at square one. I feel exactly the same about the money, I'm in two minds but its the principle that keeps me fighting for it. I'm not going to leave it here, I just can't. I'm on my high horse and I'm getting off until someone listens! Neither the fact he refused nor he left his job are good enough excusess.
Greg They have the power to enforce this, I just do not know why they don't
It's ok, he is not in that position any more, the DD in question is 29 in a few days. It was in the early days of the CSA when there were horror stories of people having to pay huge amounts in the papers every day. She thought she would cash in when I got pregnant and had a miscarriage. She thought it would mean we would not be able to afford a baby.
I did go on to have a DD with him. Then he left. We worked out what he should pay without the CSA, a very much reduced amount on a monthly basis but then half of things like clubs and trips and uniform, what we both considered fair.
Our DD now lives with him, against my wishes initially and he has never asked for a penny but I do buy her clothes and pay for things for her, things he doesn't do, so we have anarrangement of sorts (even though he won't speak to me). She has now left full time education and is talking about moving in with her BF as she is nearly 18.
Sorry, I should say he left when she was 8, not immediately.
Its good you've managed to work it out without CSA involvement. My ex paid for 2 months when DS was born then stopped and paid nothing for 5 months before I went to the CSA and I was honest about what he'd paid. He then got in touch about a year later and started paying me directly (he said this was because he couldn't afford to pay what they were asking but he actually gave me more ) again this stopped after two months and I went back to the CSA and again I was honest. Maybe if I was a cunt and screwed him for every penny I would be further forward.
That sounds hard with your DD not living with you, hope she finds somewhere nice with her bf
Oh it is. It broke my heart when she moved out but we are so close because of it. I have not had to do the get up/tidy your room/do your homework thing for nearly 4 years now, so we have a more fun relationship. She tells me everything <finger in ears, singing la la la la la I'm your mum not your friend> often too much!
I am also chasing the csa for my previous two ex hubbys.one pays £3 a week, out of his benefits, and only for the past 3 yrs, my dd is almost 19, we split when she was 3! And I got nothing for years because he gave his job up.,supposedly, I then learn last yr that he's got his own computer company!! He owes me £14grand, I know I won't get it.my secound ex was paying over £300a month from detachment of earnings, then he lost his job, and moved house, told me he had found a loophole and wasn't paying! So for almost two years I've had nothing for our three kids.i had to drive round and find his address for csa cuz they couldn't be bothered.hes doing cash in hand so little can be done.the legal compliance team have had the case ages.they paid him a visit a while back and gave him forms which he was under legal compliance to fill in.he didn't.i was told by the csa they don't have funding now to chase things up.i was also told he gets huge discount because his new wife has kids, even though she gets money from her ex hubby for them!!! He's even gone as far as putting his vehicle in some one elses name , yet managed to put private plates on it!! Its whether you need the hassel really .i don't, but then we struggle financially whole his bitch wife is lapping it up.
Not in your situation (no DC) but I wouldn't ever see it as money grabbing I see it as you getting the best for your DC.
When I rule the world. . .
these arses would be taken to court, and if someone is seen to leave more than, let's say 3 jobs in 12 months, no consideration should be taken for their self enforced joblessness and they are liable for 15% of their previous wages.(wages for the last 3 years to stop arseholes taking a low paid job deliberately, and for the city types bonuses would be included in this)
That could help stopping these ones who quit each time the CSA catch up with them. And it should be up to them, the non resident parent to contact the CSA, explain their situation and arrange to change the level of payments.
If you're in a situation where you would prefer to have a private agreement, or NRP say works sporadically you would have an agreement lodged with them that they pay X every 6 months, or pays all club fees up to amount of X or all clothes up to X etc. and this agreement is reviewed every 6 months or yearly.
It should be automatic that if 3 payments are missed/ over 5 working days late, in 6 months action is taken. Not always to the detriment of the non resident parent, if they are struggling to pay this could be a trigger to reassess.
Anyone who is out of work must show that they are actively looking, and if they aren't claiming benefits show what they are living on. After all if the tax man/benefits people have these powers why can't the CSA?
All payments should be made through a clearing house, so that there is a level of protection for those with abusive ex's, and run it so that they have to pay on the 1st for example and then the resident parent can access it from the 7th.
Part of the set up of this would be a fund/ pool of money, so that once the agreement was set up the money would always be paid out, if it didn't come in the non payer would owe the government rather than the other parent IYSWIM. This could be funded by 1% of each payment, after all 99% of something is better than 100% of nothing, and stops children going without.
If you as the RP choose/ are in the position to not need this money, it can be 'stored' there with a nominal level of interest that is held, the interest that it until the child is 18.
When anyone applies for a visa/passport etc a check must be made with this clearing house and if there is a history of non payment it should be blocked. If a NRP does want/ need to move abroad an agreement that can be enforced internationally must be in place.
Mmm what else, sorry you can tell I can't sleep and have been thinking about this.
All of this wouldn't be all bad news for NRPs, I personally know of a situation where the NRP, pays for all clothes/ clubs/ holidays as well as giving 20% of their monthly wage and has the child for all of the school holidays at the RPs insistence but the 20% is still paid.
However the child is been told that Daddy pays nothing and Mummy has to go without. If the above was in place the NRP could 'prove' otherwise, admittedly this is an unusual situation I have seen plenty of situations where the NRP is fab because they buy big OTT presents and the RP is the meanie, where the truth is the RP is struggling to keep food in the child's mouth and a roof over thier heads and the fab NRP doesn't contribute a penny.
I feel as a society we need to stop shaming and disempower ing RPs who need help and shame NRPs, and those who help them avoid thier responsibilitys
If this was in place and running, and it was a government agency who was doing the chasing hopefully eventually it would stop this notion that it is vengeful ex's out to rob the poor hardworking NRP.
It would also help those with the abusive ex's, you know those who see themselves as pillars of society and make their ex's out to be mad and bad, they can't lie and claim they're paying over the odds if the government is chasing them for nonpayment.
Sorry this has turned in to a rant hasn't it, and neither I or OH have DC. . .i guess I feel more strongly about it than I realised.
Smells Could I have an exact date that you take over the world...perlease? there are far too many people who abuse the system both RPs and NRPs. I stopped mu claim with the CSS so that he could just pay us directly (I asked for £50 a month and felt greedy) and he sent far more than the CSA were asking for to my bank. People are odd! The way I see it, regardless of what I think of my ex, my DS is half of him and anything negative I say about his 'dad' is in effect slagging off my DS. I couldn't do what that Mum did, why would you to your children? As i say, people are odd lol.
MammaTJ I'm glad its worked out for the best. My mum says she can have that relationship with my DS, the one she missed out on with us in the teenage years! haha! Yep, just close your eyes and smile .
Update: I complained via the website last night and have just received a telephone call from a manager in Newcastle (I have been dealing with Falkirk). Case has been passed to complex team and they are reviewing it this week and there is now only one person working on the case! . I am told to expect an update on Friday. We'll see, not holding my breath on this one.
Made it really is ridiculous isn't it? It just seems so easy for people to either get away with it or lie about it.
BF you're top of my list, though seriously if it was all standard like I said wouldnt it save money?? No one would need to be chasing anyone else.
Just a 'you haven't paid you've been warned (lets say 2 warning letters) you haven't been in touch to explain, therefore you're nicked matey.'
No one could claim they didnt know/understand, so much easier.
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