To be upset at being called a selfish cunt at a concert?

(271 Posts)
TheDarkSideOfTheSpoon Sun 27-Jan-13 10:17:44

Just got back from a concert in town and although it was fantastic it was spoiled for us a bit. I'm sure IANBU, but perhaps need some perspective.

Friend and I had seats at the end of a row, in the back corner of the arena so looking diagonally towards the stage, next to us was a woman perhaps in her late 70s/early 80s which was a bit surprising, we'd expected more to be with our own age group but other than being mildly surprised we didn't give it a second thought.

Half way through the concert, friend and I are happily stood up dancing and cheering like the majority of people there and a woman leans over from a few seats above & behind us and yells "you do know you two are the only ones stood up in this section don't you, why don't you sit down so other people can see" in a very aggressive tone. We said we're sorry but this is a music concert, strange as it is that this particular section seems to be filled with boring old farts people not wanting to dance actually 95% of the arena are on their feet. She yelled again that this poor woman next to us couldn't see and we ended up having a row where we explained our reasons for standing and she called us various names and eventually left. We felt a bit uneasy then but not sure what to do, our enjoyment would be spoiled by having to stop dancing/waving/cheering but of course not wanting the lady next to us to have her night spoiled either. We offered her our aisle seat to sit in so she would be in front of us and our standing wouldn't get in her way but she turned it down so we tried to get over the row and enjoy ourselves.

Ten minutes later the other woman comes back, on her way to the toilet passed behind us and yelled "I hope you're having a good time you selfish pair of cunts!" before stomping off. We were shock and tbh a bit upset. Didn't retaliate, so hopefully retained the mythical moral high ground but still it took away from an otherwise good night.

What would you have done? We paid the same as everyone else, we went there looking forward to dancing and jumping about as is usual at concerts, almost everyone else was, if the older lady couldn't stand then there were disabled seats available but she had booked a standard seat. We did offer her ours but she turned it down and from what we could see everyone else could have stood up if they chose. We weren't allowed to move and stand anywhere else. AIBU?

CloudsAndTrees Sun 27-Jan-13 10:21:30

I don't think YABU. I don't go to concerts to just sit there, you may as well get the video of that's all you want to do. Concerts are for dancing it IMO.

Branleuse Sun 27-Jan-13 10:23:25

YABU, if you wanted to stand and dance, get standing tickets, otherwise everyone behind you cant see.

I can totally understand wanting to get up and dance and thats why i pretty much always get standing tickets, or if there was no standing tickets, id go in the aisle to dance or just dance in my seat.

You were being selfish cunts

simplesusan Sun 27-Jan-13 10:23:53

I think it is reasonable to stand at a music concert.
I am right in thinking it was a rock concert or similar?
I always stood in my youth at these events.
Different if you were at say a classical music concert, but as you said most of the audience were standing around the arena then no I don't think you were b u.
Plus you did offer to swap seats.

drownangels Sun 27-Jan-13 10:24:29

What gig was it?

The only time I've been bollocked for standing and dancing was in the raised seating area at the MEN arena in Manchester, and the bollocking came from arena staff, not other concert goers.

Who was the act?!

HappyJustToBe Sun 27-Jan-13 10:26:32

Last concert I went to I ended up with seated tickets. Would have much preferred standing. It said on the tickets "please be aware people around you may stand". We did. Saying that I think I would have kept seated if other people were visibly affected.

coppertop Sun 27-Jan-13 10:26:35

So someone told you they couldn't see the concert when you were standing up, and you carried on as you were?

The name-calling was OTT but they were right to think you were selfish.

Letmeintroducemyself Sun 27-Jan-13 10:26:58

I saw Some teenagers thrown out of Wembley for dancing in aisles so that's not the answer

manicbmc Sun 27-Jan-13 10:27:12

They had as much right as you to be able to see the concert and, as you have pointed out, had paid the same amount as you.

Your standing might usually be the done thing but if it's stopping someone else enjoying themselves, it wouldn't have hurt to sit down. So yes, YABU and selfish.

Look at it from their point of view, they'd paid for these tickets and were looking forward to it as much as you. Not everyone who is disabled can get a disabled seat as there aren't many of them anyway.

JambalayaCodfishPie Sun 27-Jan-13 10:29:01

Was it X Factor? grin

Bunbaker Sun 27-Jan-13 10:30:33

"So someone told you they couldn't see the concert when you were standing up, and you carried on as you were? The name-calling was OTT but they were right to think you were selfish."

"They had as much right as you to be able to see the concert and, as you have pointed out, had paid the same amount as you. Your standing might usually be the done thing but if it's stopping someone else enjoying themselves, it wouldn't have hurt to sit down. So yes, YABU and selfish."

Yes, I agree. If you had wanted to stand you should have paid for standing tickets. You were being unbelievably selfish and thoughtless.

cocoachannel Sun 27-Jan-13 10:31:19

A lot of people wouldn't qualify for disabled seating, yet not be able to stand for too long.

Would love to know whose concert it was to make you 'expect to be with your own age group.' Last couple of arena concerts I've been to (Radiohead and Elbow) had the breadth of ages. DH and I had standing tickets for both, but if I'd paid £££ to take my Dad to either he would need to sit a lot due to a longterm injury and it would be beyond irritating to have the experience ruined by not being able to see.

Tee2072 Sun 27-Jan-13 10:32:02

"Apparently, ma'am, you have mistaken this for Chopin. It is not. I am going to continue to dance."

I'd have been shockat being spoken to by anyone with lanuage like that
My stock answer is "Do you eat with that foul mouth"?

You could've dazzled/burnt her with your lighter (because I'm sure you were at a Barry Manilow concert. You're being very evasive in that department) wink

Wishfulmakeupping Sun 27-Jan-13 10:34:19

Really intrigued now what concert does a potty mouthed OAP go to?

IceNoSlice Sun 27-Jan-13 10:34:25

Tricky one. Depends in part on who the act was?

I've been to concerts where all seated people stand up the minute the main act come on (Take That- why no tour this year?!) You getting seated tickets if you want to avoid standing for 4 hours before the main act come on. It would have BVU to moan about being able to see then.

However I've also been to concerts where no bugger was dancing (boo!) in which case you would totally BU to block people's view.

But still no need for so much aggression IMO.

Startail Sun 27-Jan-13 10:34:57

You were selfish!

Take your cue from those around you, they didn't want to stand for two hours so sit down.

If you want to dance go to a club, or buy standing tickets.

HyvaPaiva Sun 27-Jan-13 10:35:37

Isn't that the difference between standing and seated tickets though, OP? It's not fair to say, Clouds, that if you want to sit you may as well get the video. I'm disabled (I don't want to turn it into that kind of thread grin) and I'd love to get up and dance. I can't so I sit there, swaying and singing along. People dance in front of me, I can't see, and it's rubbish. Still, I don't blame them or swear, they're having fun. But it remains that I would've had a crap evening so I kind of wish they were down the front instead.

Chandon Sun 27-Jan-13 10:37:04

Depends a bit on what kind of concert it was.

If Cliff Richard, yabu!

threesocksmorgan Sun 27-Jan-13 10:37:07

when I went to see my fave band I was in seating....but stood. nio one complained(probably cos most people stood anyway) but if anyone had I would have sat down....

BookFairy Sun 27-Jan-13 10:37:09

Weird. Who was the act? Don't most people stand to have a dance and what not?

Where are the standing only areas in arenas? I thought it was seating only but in the floor seating areas everyone stands up so they can see.....

pictish Sun 27-Jan-13 10:37:14

Do we know if there standing tickets available yet? Perhaps the whole venue was seated?

If there were, then OP I am afraid you are being unreasonable. If not, then the woman was.

threesocksmorgan Sun 27-Jan-13 10:38:40

when I went, no way was I going in standing..... was a metal concert. mybe that was why the op was sitting

WhateverTrevor Sun 27-Jan-13 10:40:53

If everyone else in your bit was sitting down then yes you were being very selfish.
You standing up prevented the other person seeing, so you ruined her night.
Well done.

CooEeeEldridge Sun 27-Jan-13 10:41:11

Have to say think YABU. I go to a lot of gigs, and if you book seated there is the danger you will actually have to stay sitting down. I'm like you in that I much prefer to be doing a bit of dancing, but if the people around me are sat down then I think you have to follow suit. A lot of places seem to police this now too.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 27-Jan-13 10:41:26

What was the gig?
I need to know if YABU or not.
If it was Daniel O'Donnell you were, If it was Springsteen you weren't.

manicbmc Sun 27-Jan-13 10:42:00

It doesn't really matter though does it. The fact is, the OP's actions were stopping other people who had paid as well, from enjoying the concert.

Adamit Sun 27-Jan-13 10:43:47

you want to danc then get standing tickets.

ywbu and ageist in your OP.

FeckOffCup Sun 27-Jan-13 10:48:23

Not all venues have standing tickets, I've been at a venue where it was all seated but pretty much everyone stood for most of it, the only ones who got told off by security were the teenagers in front of us dancing on the actual chairs.

BoneyBackJefferson Sun 27-Jan-13 10:48:34

not enough information
who did you see
where was the concert
why didn't you go in the standing area

CloudsAndTrees Sun 27-Jan-13 10:48:40

How does it make a difference if OPs way of enjoying the concert spoilt it for someone else when the other persons way of enjoying the concert would have spoiled it for OP?

Why does one valid way of enjoying a concert get to trump another valid way of enjoying the concert?

DoJo Sun 27-Jan-13 10:50:17

YABU - your actions were preventing others' enjoyment of an event, and when they asked you to sit you 'explained your reasons for standing' which presumably amounted to 'because I want to and I don't care if you can't see'. I think her summary of your behaviour is pretty apt.

this reminds me of when DH & I went to see marilyn manson.

we got seated tickets, due to DH's disabilities he struggles to stand for long periods of time.

two women & 4 or 5 of their teenage offspring came to stand in front of our row, right in front of our seats. we politely explained the situation, & asked them to move so we could see. i got told to "fuck off, it's a mazza gig, (and i apologise for the use of this word) spazzies shouldn't be here anyway" - i went mental, DH had to pull me away. i found a member of staff, out-lined the situation & they let us into the standing area, took us right down the front & provided a fold-up chair for DH.

now, i know you weren't the one being abusive in your situation, op, but i think you were just as selfish as they were. if people pay for a seat, that generally means they want to use it- if you don't, buy a standing ticket- they're usually cheaper anyway.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee Sun 27-Jan-13 10:51:13

Sorry - but if you buy 'seated' tickets, you need to sit.

As has already been said, not everyone who is unable to stand for the duration of a concert can or wants to book disabled seating.

You were spoiling the concert for them and you were the one in the wrong (standing in a seated area).

It's unfortunate that you ended up being with people who wanted to sit, but you did and that should have been your problem, not theirs.

Clouds It is rude & ridiculous to say that if you sit in a concert you might as well buy the video. It's sad that you think you should just stay home if they are disabled or are just unable to stand for hours on end. Shame on you

Bunbaker Sun 27-Jan-13 10:51:35

"Don't most people stand to have a dance and what not?"

No, not necessarily. I hate standing for a couple of hours as it makes my back ache.

"We paid the same as everyone else"

Exactly, so the seated people paid the same as you, only to see your backs and not the band. You are very thoughtless. While I don't condone the use of that language your selfish and inconsiderate actions must have thoroughly spoiled the concert for those who wished to remain seated. You sound very entitled and ageist. Concerts are for everyone to enjoy regardless of age.

Tryharder Sun 27-Jan-13 10:51:43


If everyone in your section had stood up, then it would've been fine. But it was wrong for you to stand up when everyone else was sat down and thus deliberately and ostentatiously blocking their view. Very rude.

Good on that woman.

You have to tell us what the gig was OP so we can judge your musical taste get the full picture.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee Sun 27-Jan-13 10:52:35

Clouds because they were 'seated' tickets!!! hmm

WhateverTrevor Sun 27-Jan-13 10:54:42

X factor was on at the MEN last night.
I reckon it was that.
It was probably Rylans granny you were in front ofgrin

I think ywbu as well. How would you have felt if the people in front of you jumped up onto their chairs and started dancing and you couldn't see?

confusteling Sun 27-Jan-13 10:54:47

Admittedly the only "concerts" I've ever been to are the things organised by Girlguiding UK in which various x factor rejects try to entertain 20000 screaming teenage girls - but on those occasions, pretty much everyone stood up irregardless of where they were sat or what they had paid for. Actually remember standing on my seat at one concert (I was only twelve!)

I honestly always thought if you were in an arena or similar it would be perfectly acceptable and normal to stand wherever you were; but if you were in a music hall or such like it might be more normal to stay seated.

I guess like others say it depends on who you are seeing - if it's heavy rock/metal or anything "popular" I'd see it as very normal to stand.

pigletmania Sun 27-Jan-13 10:55:25

YANBU at all, it's a music concert people will be dancing, it's not Romeo and Juliet hmm. Op was polite and offered the lady seats where they could see. Sorry the lady was rude and nasty

EmpressOfThePuddle Sun 27-Jan-13 10:55:28

Oh fuck.

I've got seated tickets for Meat Loaf's farewell concert at the O2, 4ft11 and worrying now that even if I stand I might not be able to see because of people standing in front.

Bastardy gittish cuntwankers.

MunchMunch Sun 27-Jan-13 10:55:29


I'm only 5ft so can never see when there are crowds and I would pay for seated just so I could at least see what I'd paid all the money for, I don't just want to hear them sing I want to see them as well.

When I've been to a footy match, if a tall person in fro t stands up, even though the seats are tiered and I stand up I sometimes can't see past them. It's unfair as I've also paid for the ticket.

FutTheShuckUp Sun 27-Jan-13 10:55:55

You were BU. And you were being what she said you were

pigletmania Sun 27-Jan-13 10:57:17

Read you lot it's a concert not a play fgs people will be dancing and swaying, you can't expect people to sit like statues hmm

EmpressOfThePuddle Sun 27-Jan-13 10:59:39

if people know they're going to want to dance and sway and whatever then they should book seats at the back so I don't have to be constantly poking the people in front to tell them I can't see through their selfish arses.

BeanJuice Sun 27-Jan-13 10:59:41

I do think you were BU given that people in your section were sitting

rhondajean Sun 27-Jan-13 11:00:22

Yep sorry YAbu. If you want to dance you gt standing tickets. Why should people behind you have their view blocked because you want to stand up and bounce around?

You were lucky the stewards didn't enforce the seating with you, most concerts I've been to they have done that.

And she may have used unpleasant words to you, but yknow, there are a lot of people that believe in calling a spade a spade...

Bunbaker Sun 27-Jan-13 11:02:30

"people will be dancing and swaying, you can't expect people to sit like statues"

You can sit and sway you know. Not everyone likes standing for a couple of hours. Concerts aren't only for the young and able bodied.

confusteling Sun 27-Jan-13 11:03:15

< is sometimes considered an insult to the band to sit during performances, particularly in heavy metal. Even in venues that provide seating, generally the audience will stand for the band's performance>

From wiki article on concert ettiquete


BoneyBackJefferson Sun 27-Jan-13 11:04:05


There are many different types of concert.

Sirzy Sun 27-Jan-13 11:06:32

I only go to concerts where I can sit, I can't physically stand for the whole concert hence me getting a seat. Selfish people like you put people who struggle, or simply don't want to stand, in an awkward position.

MadamFolly Sun 27-Jan-13 11:08:45

I think if you offered to switch so she could see and she refused then YANBU.

Groovee Sun 27-Jan-13 11:12:45

Oh God, dd's got little mix tickets for Tuesday and its a fully seated venue. Am I going to have someone yelling that at her? hmm. If the venue is fully seated then I don't know what the answer is. But when we were at Take That, it was tiered seating which allowed us to stand if we wanted to or sit. I did a bit of both.

Porkster Sun 27-Jan-13 11:15:19

I think you were very selfish.

If everyone was standing fair enough, but how could you justify blocking people's views? Most unreasonable of you, imo.

My husband's 'only' in his 40s, but has a slipped disc. He'd be in absolute agony if he was on his feet just so he could see past people like you, op.

discorabbit Sun 27-Jan-13 11:15:38

what a sorry state of affairs concerts have become if you cannot stand up and dance

glad i got the glory days of the mosh pit grin

i seriously hate sitting through a music concert (unless it's mozart of course)

RedHelenB Sun 27-Jan-13 11:18:41

Why not offer to swap seats with them so they could see & you could dance?

Katz Sun 27-Jan-13 11:19:22

i've been to many concerts at big arenas, always buy seated tickets and always stand and dance when the acts come on. Sit down occasionally and understand that in doing so i'll lose my view. Concerts, esp music gigs which is what i think this is, thats pretty normal surely.

Many gigs i've been to the floor is seated too so no standing bits and you told to stay in the area of your seat and not dance in the aisles.

Been to see Pulp, Take That and Scouting for Girls all recently and everyone stood up for various parts, no complaining from those who didn't.

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 27-Jan-13 11:19:44

She did RedHelen, she says so in her post.

Celticlassie Sun 27-Jan-13 11:20:58

It is impossible to answer this without knowing who the band were. I've been at seated gigs before and EVERYONE has stood up and danced, but have also been at gigs where it would clearly been inappropriate to do so.

Would always choose to stand though, if it was an option.

EndoplasmicReticulum Sun 27-Jan-13 11:22:35

It's normal to stand up and dance.

I don't think you did anything wrong, I think the other person maybe didn't understand that this is what happens.

I think you tried your best by offering to swap seats.

BookFairy Sun 27-Jan-13 11:26:08

I went to the O2 to see Jason Mraz before xmas. There were no standing only areas and there were no instructions that the audience should remain seated, aside from no standing in the aisles.

manicbmc Sun 27-Jan-13 11:30:47

But you assess the situation and if your actions spoil it for others then you sit.

Viviennemary Sun 27-Jan-13 11:32:00

I would want my money back if people stood up and danced at a concert so I couldn't see. If it was a standing concert fair enough but if it was sitting down then you were being unreasonable to stand. However, this should be made clear on the tickets so everyone will know where they stand (or sit).

PrincessOfChina Sun 27-Jan-13 11:35:05

YANBU. It's a pop concert.

If you should not be standing then you wouldn't be allowed to stand. I've been to venues where they don't allow you to stand. Anything else is fair game I'm afraid.

It's not like you can really see anything when you're in the back c

PrincessOfChina Sun 27-Jan-13 11:35:52

Agh. Posted before I finished.

I was saying, it's not like you can see anything from the back corner of a 15,000 seat arena anyway regardless if whether you're sitting or standing!

KenLeeeeeee Sun 27-Jan-13 11:35:57

I had seated tickets to see Iron Maiden at Twickenham a few years ago and everybody stood up to boogie along, so in that scenario nobody would BU to do so. If everyone else was sitting though, then I think it would BU to stand anyway and obscure someone's view, particularly if this is pointed out to you and you are actually asked to sit down.

So yeah, YWBVU and selfish.

PaellaUmbrella Sun 27-Jan-13 11:36:57


The clue is that you were in the SEATED area. Yes often everybody stands and dances in the seated area, but this obviously wasn't the case at your particular gig if you were the only selfish pair of cunts ones dancing. You should have followed suit from the outset, or at the very least sat down when it was pointed out to you.

Next time get standing tickets.

jamdonut Sun 27-Jan-13 11:40:37

It is annoying! I was at the O2 to see Muse. Seated, we had a fantastic view,until the people in front of us decided it was time to stand up. It was annoying at the time, but I looked around and the people immediately behind us were standing, so we stood as well.
I just think if you've paid for a seat, you should be able to use it and be able to see. Standing for a long time,especially so high up (it makes you a bit giddy!) is not always possible for everyone. (Although I stood for 12 hours without sitting down at Leeds Festival ,in the mud, to see Muse!!)

Wallison Sun 27-Jan-13 11:43:36

I think it's fair enough to stand and dance at a concert - it's what you're supposed to do. If other people don't like it perhaps they'd be happier sitting on the sofa at home listening to a CD.

BarredfromhavingStella Sun 27-Jan-13 11:43:46

YWNBU, been to various gigs & never been lucky enough to get standing tickets (that's right people, they do sell out so it's not always an option) I've always had seated & never actually stayed that way.

DolomitesDonkey Sun 27-Jan-13 11:43:51

YABU - hard lesson to learn, but you really really, really fucking rude.

The first concert I ever went to was ruined by a group of people doing just that. In fact I left before the show had finished.

How selfish are you in normal day to day life?

Wallison Sun 27-Jan-13 11:44:41

^ if you've paid for a seat, you should be able to use it and be able to see.

Unforch even the most expensive seats don't come with an ability to control the behaviour of other people around you though.

JuliaScurr Sun 27-Jan-13 11:46:37

Wheelchair users (I am one) get put in crap places near the front which makes your neck ache or on the back row or in the most expensive area. I often get into a normal aisle seat - more comfortable and cheaper, also for whoever I'm with. So yes, I'd be pissed off with someone standing in front of me. It would be v difficult to swap seats once I was in one

MrsDoomsPatterson Sun 27-Jan-13 11:49:34

Op doesn't like what she's hearing.

I used to go to lots of Paul Weller gigs standing up, now I pay for a seat and I want to sit there and be entertained. I'd be none too pleased if some dingbats started blocking my view & would tell them so. Plastic beaker of wine, seat, nice music, thank you very much.

Wallison Sun 27-Jan-13 11:49:45

So you don't want to take up the offer of designated seating (choice of three areas) but instead take your chances with everyone else, but then complain when that chance includes people around you doing things that are not convenient for you?

threesocksmorgan Sun 27-Jan-13 11:51:58

did the op ever come back?

Veritate Sun 27-Jan-13 11:53:42

You must have noticed that you were the only people in your area dancing, so you were being pretty exhibitionist, weren't you? If you can see that you are blocking the view of people behind you then you really shouldn't carry on.

BeanJuice Sun 27-Jan-13 11:55:32

Wallison why? how about those who want to stand and dance in an area where everyone else is sitting stay at home and dance in the living room?

everlong Sun 27-Jan-13 12:00:21

That's why I always try and get standing love a mosh pit I do but if I'm in seated I always dance and sing. Can't just sit there. And tbh have never really given it much thought but I don't know whether it's U to dance in the seated area or not confused

What gig was it? Come back and tell us!

riverboat Sun 27-Jan-13 12:02:57

YWBU. They were old, regardless of what was 'normal' behaviour at concerts it would have been polite to allow them to enjoy the concert, which presumably would have been difficult for them standing up.

They were unnecessarily rude in return, which was U too.

duffybeatmetoit Sun 27-Jan-13 12:13:19

YABU because that's what you were.

I'm a bit gob smacked at all the people who feel its ok to insult the op. really? Surely yabu covers it if that is your opinion? Fwiw I have no idea if op is being unreasonable or not. I've only been to 2 concerts ever and stood and danced a both but then everyone was up and dancing as well. If everyone was sitting down then I'd probably have restrained myself. <sits on fence>

MrsDoomsPatterson Sun 27-Jan-13 12:17:14

Quietninja, are you new to AIBU? This is how it rolls.

mellen Sun 27-Jan-13 12:20:26

I think it is really rude to stand up in front of other people in the seated area. The problem is usually that you get a domino type effect and people end up standing to see when they would much rather be seated.

You spoilt the enjoyment of people who were using the seated area to sit down in, can you not see why they were annoyed?

discorabbit Sun 27-Jan-13 12:24:41

no aibu was never intended to allow people to insult the op at every given opportunity.

just so happens to attract people to become vile and absuve ime

JenaiMorris Sun 27-Jan-13 12:27:55

The op was happy to swap seats. The woman complaining was vile.


Oh and sometimes there are no standing tickets - for some reason venues in their wisdom seem to like seats these days.

MrsDoomsPatterson Sun 27-Jan-13 12:29:36

Vile & abusive not on at all.

Just saying YABU; Unrealistic.

Robinredboobs Sun 27-Jan-13 12:33:07

Had exactly the same experience at a rock concert. A group of four sitting further back decided to come and stand at the railings of the gallery. They blocked at least 3 rows of people from seeing anything and got shitty when someone asked them to move. It wasnt until the three affected rows ganged up and politely told them to sit the fuck down that they moved. Really selfish. Think about it OP.

Wallison Sun 27-Jan-13 12:37:28

Sounds extremely rock'n'roll behaviour, robinred.


choccyp1g Sun 27-Jan-13 12:38:23

You should only stand up if everyone BEHIND you is standing up. Otherwise you are blocking their view.

EmpressOfThePuddle Sun 27-Jan-13 12:46:25

<packs pointy stick for use on viewblockers>

Sneezingwakesthebaby Sun 27-Jan-13 12:49:57

YABU. Nothing more annoying than when you buy seating tickets so you can, you know, sit during the concert and some twat in front decides to dance the whole way through so you have to stand too. Almost on par with those shitty light up bunny ears they sometimes sell which on top of a tall lass with heels, makes it impossible for the people behind to see anything. Get standing next time if you want to stand!

Wallison Sun 27-Jan-13 12:53:50

People try to say we're square
(Talkin bout my generation)
Just because we like our chairs
(Talkin bout my generation)
They dance and stand as though it's a riot
(Talkin bout my generation)
But rock and roll's about sitting quiet
(Talkin bout my generation)

cocoachannel Sun 27-Jan-13 13:02:11

PrincessofChina, it is one thing not being able to see much from way back and another thing having a close up of a wiggling arse.

andtheycalleditbunnylove Sun 27-Jan-13 13:17:06

if everyone else in your area was sitting, you were doing the wrong thing. you were selfish and anti-social. you deserved whatever you got. and now you want mners to support you. well, some might.

EmpressOfThePuddle Sun 27-Jan-13 13:28:26

I'd stand if I had to. Though I'm going with MIL and I doubt she could stand for that length of time.
But that's not going to help if I'm behind some tall twat. At that point I think poking. becomes justified.

PickledInAPearTree Sun 27-Jan-13 13:29:26

I took my mum to see andy Williams once. God that was brutal you daren't even BREATHE let alone dance!

TheDarkSideOfTheSpoon Sun 27-Jan-13 13:37:32

Haven't read whole thread yet but I see I need to update.

It was ronan Keating, so middle of the road pop music, no 'standing' tickets available but if there had been we would have bought them. The thing is the only person we were potentially blocking was the lady we offered to swap seats with, and even so given the layout of the arena we weren't totally stopping her from seeing.

It was just odd how we seemed to be unlucky enough to be in the one small pocket of people not wanting to stand, the rest of the arena was all on its feet.

We've been to almost every ronan tour and its usually a crowd of 20/30 something's all bopping away, this was just an unexpected situation.

Thanks for your opinions, I really thought that by offering her the option of switching so we were all happy that would have been ok. It looks like most of you disagree, I hope we didnt spoil her night, though if it makes any difference being shouted at in that way pretty much ruined my night.

PickledInAPearTree Sun 27-Jan-13 13:41:14

The lady who called you a cunt, was she the lady you offered to swap with?

Don't worry - life's a rollercoaster, sometimes you just gotta ride it.

EndoplasmicReticulum Sun 27-Jan-13 13:43:41

Ah, well if it was Ronan Keating Y may have BU.

I'd expect to find more "sitters" there. And old people. When you said you went to a concert I was imagining something with a bit more of a moshpit.

MrsDoomsPatterson Sun 27-Jan-13 13:44:03

In that case, I'd have been more than happy for you to stand in front of me. Block away. grin

PickledInAPearTree Sun 27-Jan-13 13:45:13

I would like to meet the type of 80 year old that goes to see ronan and says cunt.

Perhaps it was ronans nan?

IceNoSlice Sun 27-Jan-13 13:46:15

Wallinson grin

OP, in light of the fact there were no standing tickets, and that you offered to swap, and the expectation you (reasonably) had when you bought the tickets, then YANBU.

I know what you mean about having your night spoiled by someone's aggression. We went to a big concert once at Wembley, had standing tickets and queued up to get as close to the front as possible. We had to sit on the dirty floor for hours waiting for the start. We got chatting to the people around us and it was good fun. Then, during the concert, a group barged through and stopped in front of us. Really obviously. People asked then to move and it got a bit heated- I hadn't said anything but one nasty, drunk woman said to me, really aggressively, 'what are you looking at, you c**t?'

I was really shaken by it. Horrible. Our new temporary concert friends saw them off after that though.

JenaiMorris Sun 27-Jan-13 13:49:34

Who knew that Ronan attracted such foul mouthed, aggressive elderly fans ? grin

diddl Sun 27-Jan-13 13:56:41

Had no idea that RK had done anything that you could dance to!

countrykitten Sun 27-Jan-13 14:00:04

You went to see Ronan Keating who will obviously attract older folk to his gigs - he is a bit like a younger Cliff isn't he? So yes I think you were unreasonable due to the type of gig you went to - you should have expected this and been nice to them.

Rude to call you selfish cunts though - a Ronan loving OAP with attitude.

Yddraigoldragon Sun 27-Jan-13 14:01:28

I cannot stand for long periods of time, and have had several gigs ruined because people in front of me stood up. There is generally nothing I can do, just hae to sit it out and rue the huge amount of money I have just wasted.

I always get a seat in the tiered sections, feeling that the main floor is the dancing bit - and hope that people around me feel the same way.

Where there are standing areas, then go there if you want to stand - please?

Branleuse Sun 27-Jan-13 14:01:39

am i missing something that RK has done that would make people stand up and dance????

I like concerts. I have been to seated ones where ive stood because everyone else was. Seated ones where ive sat because everyone else was and just danced in my seat and sang along, and ones that ive gone for standing.
Ive also not bought tickets for some that i wanted to see as i knew id want to get up and dance and there were only seated tickets left, therefore i knew it would be annoying and frustrating and would rather play the CD at home

I think its much more sociable to take the people around you into consideration

PickledInAPearTree Sun 27-Jan-13 14:04:26

I would probably just laugh if an 80 year old lady dropped the c bomb on me!

MajesticWhine Sun 27-Jan-13 14:06:47

YABU. Unfortunately, the decent thing to do is to take your lead from those around you rather than spoil their enjoyment. shock at being called cunts though.... at a Ronan Keating concert of all things - emotions must have been running high.

SwedishEdith Sun 27-Jan-13 14:09:24

Ronan ha ha grin I would have thought 80 year olds would be precisely his target audience.

You were still thoughtless- I hate being forced to stand because others have stood up and blocked the view.

PickledInAPearTree Sun 27-Jan-13 14:10:14

His leather trousers can bring out the animal in folk.

pictish Sun 27-Jan-13 14:18:18

In that case OP, you are NOT being unreasonable about this issue.

Yabu however, to go and see Ronan Keating!

I'm not surprised it was full of crumblies!

Bobyan Sun 27-Jan-13 14:20:30

Serves you right for having such bad taste in music grin

I would think having my view blocked at a RK concert would improve it as would ear plugs

EarlyInTheMorning Sun 27-Jan-13 14:22:10

YABU. If you go to a concern to dance then you need to get standing seats.

Bobyan Sun 27-Jan-13 14:22:49

Maybe she was upset about the good catholic Ronan shagging his dancers...

Sorry only just came back! You made me laugh mrsdooms, not new at all but thought it 'twas a bit harsh to call op a cunt etc etc. maybe I'm getting soft in my old age.

JenaiMorris Sun 27-Jan-13 14:41:50

Hahahaha pickled grin

TheDarkSideOfTheSpoon Sun 27-Jan-13 15:18:51

Pickled grin

There were no standing seats sad I have given the arena feedback about this.

Thanks for your responses though.

Pandemoniaa Sun 27-Jan-13 15:58:45

Well for starters, you can fuck off with the ageist comments. Since when did you become the arbiter of whether a concert is suitable for anyone older than you?

I also think YWBU if you had tickets in the seated area and then, without any consideration at all, ruined the view for someone who had presumably chosen tickets in that area because they didn't want (or perhaps couldn't) stand all evening. It wasn't pleasant to be called a selfish cunt but I rather suspect that your behaviour suggested you fitted that description.

diddl Sun 27-Jan-13 16:03:41

Why would you expect standing seats & dancing at a RK concert??

ginhag Sun 27-Jan-13 16:08:36

HOW do you dance to Ronan Keating???

or bear to listen to him for that matter

andtheycalleditbunnylove Sun 27-Jan-13 16:12:39

ronan keating???

each to his own, i suppose. you'd be a bit young to come with me to a nick cave gig. and the lyrics would make your hair curl.

DreamingOfTheMaldives Sun 27-Jan-13 16:16:14

I hate standing tickets because I'm only short and can't see properly. I spend my time looking at someone's shoulders!

I think people are often less likely to stand if they are on the second tier as it's so high.

I went to a concert where the selfish ignorant cow woman sat in front of me insisted on standing for the entire concert, including the slow songs which it was impossible to dance to. She was the only one on the bloody tier standing up at that point and despite being asked to sit down because we couldn't see. We then had the choice of standing, and blocking the view of the people behind us, or staying sat and having our view blocked.

I really think you should go with the majority in this sort of situation, if most people are standing in your section then fine but if everyone is sitting down then you should too. It's called common courtesy.

I don't understand people saying you have to sit like a statue if you don't stand up. I've always managed to dance enthusiastically, bouncing around while keeping my arse on the seat so I don't block the view of those behind me.

OP, YWBU and rather selfish

tabulahrasa Sun 27-Jan-13 16:22:32

I'd have expected a Ronan Keating gig to be women in their mid thirties and grannies...and mostly sitting and swaying rather than dancing.

Does he dance? Does he not croon on a stool? If he does dance, is it dad dancing?

Porkster Sun 27-Jan-13 16:54:53

Now I really think YWBU.

Ronan Keating!!

His target audience must be 70 plus.

Tigerbomb Sun 27-Jan-13 16:59:58

I think you have to take your cue from everyone around you when you go to a seated arena gig.

If I have to go to an arena to see a gig, I always try and get standing tickets. If I cant, I rarely go.

The last two arena gigs I went to where I had to sit, the stewards came round and made anyone who was standing and dancing sit down.

How the feck are you supposed to sit and not dance at a Rammstein gig?

fatasbutter Sun 27-Jan-13 17:04:49

Well I don't think YWBU - you have clearly said there weren't any standing tickets available and you were taking your cue from those around you if almost everyone else was standing and dancing! AND when the other person said they couldn't see you offered to swap so they could.

The shouty woman obviously has anger management issues and lots of people here can't read if they keep saying you should have bought standing tickets!!

ComposHat Sun 27-Jan-13 17:12:37

Half way through the concert, friend and I are happily stood up dancing and cheering

I did the same, apparently it isn't the done thing during Wagner's Ring Cycle. It was a shame because I'd dropped a couple of Es before I went in.

EddieVeddersfoxymop Sun 27-Jan-13 17:13:58

This happened to me at the MEN arena. I'm afraid yabVVVVVVVu. I waited 21 years to see the band in question, paid a fortune just to get a ticket. I needed a seated ticket due to having a condition that means I cannot stand for 4 hours + but I am not disabled. The twat in front of me insisted on standing up and dancing despite no one else doing so and being right up in the gods. I asked him politely to sit down so I could see but he called me everything under the sun. He eventually sat down but periodically turned round to have another go at me.

If he wanted to dance that much, he should have bought a standing ticket. I am not disabled but needed to sit down through the gig, hence I bought a seated ticket.

That lady could have been me - she could have been waiting her whole life for that night and you ruined it for her. She shouldnt have been abusive towards you, no doubt about that - but you should have sat down and jigged to Ronan in your seat.

Pandemoniaa Sun 27-Jan-13 17:16:21

I did the same, apparently it isn't the done thing during Wagner's Ring Cycle. It was a shame because I'd dropped a couple of Es before I went in.


Bunbaker Sun 27-Jan-13 17:18:26

What is worse?

a) Having to sit down during a concert
b) Seated behind someone who is standing so you can't see

Answers on a postcard please

DioneTheDiabolist Sun 27-Jan-13 17:21:13

She was rude.
You were unreasonable.

flippinada Sun 27-Jan-13 17:26:03

I'm not sure what the OP has done to deserve such spiteful abuse?

Standing up and dancing at a concert, what appalling behaviour hmm

flippinada Sun 27-Jan-13 17:27:59

I see it was Ronan Keating...not my choice but even so.

Tanith Sun 27-Jan-13 17:31:26

Am I reading the same OP as everyone else??

As I read it, the OP and her friend were not blocking anyone, due to the layout of the seating.
There were no standing areas, only seated.
The only lady they were partially blocking did not want to change places when they offered, and did not complain, much less use foul language.
Another woman, age unspecified, took the opportunity to be rude and abusive.

Because, in that case, I don't think the OP and her friend were being unreasonable at all. The abusive woman seems to have been spoiling for trouble.

Earthymama Sun 27-Jan-13 17:37:36

DP and I went to the British Folk Festival and people were SLEEPING!!
Why would you waste your money?

I love to dance but usually get down to the front of the stage.

oneforthemoney Sun 27-Jan-13 17:38:54

Ywbvu to cheer ronan keating.

shanks313 Sun 27-Jan-13 17:39:08

I had a situation at a concert last year..I was 6 rows from the front..centre seat..brilliant view.
2 minutes from the show starting,a man stood in the seat in front of me and I couldnt see a thing.He blocked my whole view.I had to move over so I was sharing the seat space with the woman next to me just to see the show.
It seriously ruined my experience and he wasnt dancing,he was just standing there and taking pictures.

TotallyBS Sun 27-Jan-13 17:40:56

They were in their late 70s or early 80s. Asking you not to stand and block their view was not unreasonable. Did you expect them to stand so that they can see over your (young) dancing heads?

You kind of set the mood for the rest of the conversation by ignoring their request so the harsh (frustrated?) words aren't unreasonable IMO.

Unless you are some screaming, hair pulling teenager at some boyband concert (unlikely given the presence of these old ladies) it is unreasonable IMO to stand from the get go. Normally this is reserved for the encore.

Wallison Sun 27-Jan-13 17:42:12

If you go to a bloody pop concert (not an opera, or a ballet, or a piano concerto) and other people are standing, imho you should just suck it up. The OP wasn't in La Scala - she was listening to music that people (sad, deluded and misguided people but all the same) dance to. It's normal to dance at concerts. I appreciate that not everyone can stand, but to expect others to limit their enjoyment just because you're short or whatever is a bit bloody entitled.

SpicyPear Sun 27-Jan-13 17:47:14

OP I was there and I think YANBU. Most people were standing as far as I could see. If you wanted to sit you could still see the screen. I was there as I took DM (60s) and she stood and bopped around without complaint!

MariusEarlobe Sun 27-Jan-13 17:47:48

I've never been to a concert where people have sat down apart from one.

When we took dd to x factor show for her birthday she knelt on the chair to see as ALL the people in front were stood up.

There was a couple of ladies sat at the back of her in their fifties so I made dd kneel as low as possible so people could see Still.

The ladies pushed my then seven year olds shoulder down and shouted fucking sit down we can't see. dd who has sen was hysterical.

If they had said excuse me to me I would have instantly sat her down.

I wouldn't mind but when the act they came to see came on they stood up and danced blocking the people behind them completely.

Mynewmoniker Sun 27-Jan-13 17:53:45

At the Status Quo concert the only ones that stood up were the ones that were letting the paramedics through to someone who heart was playing up!

MrsKeithRichards Sun 27-Jan-13 18:01:07

I've been to tons of gigs and hate sitting, will only do so if there are no other tickets available and even then I'd rather not go. However if I do go and have to sit, sit I will.

Every time someone stands the yellow jacketed security people tell them to sit down.

McKayz Sun 27-Jan-13 18:10:26

I've been to loads of concerts and never seen anyone sitting down. It is a concert, you are meant to dance.

BarredfromhavingStella Sun 27-Jan-13 18:10:52

The woman having a pop & calling OP a cunt was not the older lady they were possibly blocking the view of if I have understood correctly?

I've changed my mind a bit now you have said it was Ronan Keating though OP grin

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Sun 27-Jan-13 18:14:30

I'll admit it is annoying when you're trying to see and the people in front are standing.

But calling someone a cunt is not on. Well done you for not retaliating when she spewed that out to you!

TheDarkSideOfTheSpoon Sun 27-Jan-13 18:29:38

Ah barred I knew there'd be those who think I WBU for going to a Ronan concert in the first place! wink

AlistairSim Sun 27-Jan-13 18:34:05

I hadn't realised there was such a thing as sitting down at a concert until I met DP. He took me to see Richard Thompson and everyone sat so politely.
It was a whole new adult world!

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 27-Jan-13 18:39:44


You were selfish and do you manage to dance to Ronan Keating? confused

I've been to lots of concerts. Most are seated these days. Some everyone has ended up standing,in others most have sat apart from the odd few pissed up twats.

EndoplasmicReticulum Sun 27-Jan-13 18:42:54

Last concert I went to it wasn't the standing that was the problem, it was the fighting.

wasn't Ronan Keating.

everlong Sun 27-Jan-13 18:44:25

Sitting down at a concert is for stiffs.

MoominmammasHandbag Sun 27-Jan-13 19:07:12

I have been to tons of gigs and enjoyed dancing and jumping around. But these days I'm a disabled old gimmer and only go to a gig if I have a seat. Yeah I would probably been pissed off by people dancing in front of me but I have in my more active past been to seated only gigs and been very frustated at not being allowed to dance so I kind of get what the OP is saying.
My most annoying gig experience was actually at Cambridge folk festival when I swallowed my pride and went in the disabled enclosure. It was very rowdy and distracting.
But taking everything into consideration, going to see Roland Keating means you probably deserve all the abuse you got OP.

MoominmammasHandbag Sun 27-Jan-13 19:09:39

everlong your level of empathy is astonishing.

everlong Sun 27-Jan-13 19:12:12

Yes it is.
In the right places.

TotallyBS Sun 27-Jan-13 19:15:51

everlong- sitting down at concerts IS for stiffs AND for people in the OP who are in their late 70s or early 80s grin

MoominmammasHandbag Sun 27-Jan-13 19:17:54

everlong hmm

Hulababy Sun 27-Jan-13 19:20:04

I would never consider standing in a seated area as being bad practise or selfish. Every concert I have ever been too has had most people stood up, even in seating areas.
I have had people stand in front of me at concerts - I just stand too.

The OP offered to swap seats with the lady - she could have taken up the offer if it was bugging her so much.

We were allowed to stand at MEN btw, everyone was stood, inc the seating area.

Wallison Sun 27-Jan-13 19:20:32

I don't think the woman who called the OP a cunt was in her 70s - wasn't she just some burger-faced harridan behind who was spoiling for a fight?

Tindertree Sun 27-Jan-13 19:21:28

I'm always glad when a venue encourages those with seats to sit down. It's not so bad if it's right near the end, but sometimes I just don't want to stand for a whole gig - no matter how good it is.

MariusEarlobe Sun 27-Jan-13 19:22:16

AlistairSim That happened to me with now exh. I had spent from age 11 - 17 screaming at Take That shows and he took me to see Toni Braxton. Every one sat down the whole way through and clapped politely. I wasn't quite sure what to do with myself.

Funniest thing was when myself and then h went with a friend to watch backstreet boys blush . Was quite an eye opener for then h who had a screaming teen who screamed and sobbed throughout. He was just like wtf??!!!

Standing tickets are usually first to sell out, if they exist, so plenty of people have to buy seats instead. FGS it's a concert. You HAVE to assume that a good proportion of the audience are going to want to spend at least some of the time on their feet, dancing, waving their arms in the air, whatever. It goes with the territory.

If you need to sit, and you aren't able or don't want to stand, then you need to make sure you buy seats which won't be affected by people in front - at the front of a section, or at the end of a row so you're by the aisle. Venues with seats pretty much always have a seating plan and there are usually lots of seats that fit this description, especially in an arena.

I get that sometimes gigs sell out fast, and you might not get much choice, in which case either accept people might dance in front of you, or talk to the stewards. They always keep seats back and might move you - we've done this before when seated up in the gods. You don't mouth off and swear at people who are just having fun AND have offered to move to accommodate people.

OP, YANBU at all, don't know what else you could have done really other than sit on your hands and enviously watch everyone else rocking out to <ahem> Ronan wink

MmeGuillotine Sun 27-Jan-13 19:27:00

I KNEW it would be the Ronan gig last night. Someone I know was there and posted a picture to Facebook of the view from her seat - I was a bit surprised to see that it was all seated. She reported back that she had an 'amazing night' though so I don't think she called anyone a cunt. ;)

PS been to countless gigs at the MEN and there are ALWAYS lots of people standing in the seating areas. Never seen anyone asked to sit.

ShellyBoobs Sun 27-Jan-13 19:28:41

YABU to have been at a Ronan Keeting concert in the first place.


GetOrf Sun 27-Jan-13 19:28:49

Bloody hell at the people moaning about 'some tall twat' in front of them. What are tall people supposed to do? Shrink?

Hulababy Sun 27-Jan-13 19:30:37

I am only 5 foot. I also have arthritis, and one of the joints affected is my knee. It is painful to stand for a long length of time on a hard surface. However I go to concerts and I expect to not really be able to see much, regardless of if I have standing or seated tickets. If I stand I can't see over the tops of other people who are standing. If i stand I can;t see over standing people - and in some venues not over the tops of sitting people. But i still go. I stand and sit alternatively. I enjoy the atmosphere. I enjoy the music. I enjoy the dancing.

I do think people are expecting too much to go to a pop or rock concert and expect everyone to be sat in their chair politely nodding along. It's just not the type of place you get that surely?

Maybe they just need one sitting only and no standing at all block at each venue!

FutTheShuckUp Sun 27-Jan-13 19:31:48

Im chuckling at the prospect of anyone managing to dance to Ronan Keating. It must have been that Grange Hill one step two step dance

Wallison Sun 27-Jan-13 19:35:53

I think someone should have a word with all of those selfish bastards in the Arena at the Proms.

TotallyBS Sun 27-Jan-13 19:36:57

Just reread the OP. The woman shouts out that the OP and friends are the only ones in the section standing. The OP doesn't dispute this.

The OP then says that 95% of the arena is standing.

I wonder if the 5% sitting is in front of the OP and the other 95% is standing coz they can see over the dancing heads of the OP and friends grin

TotallyBS Sun 27-Jan-13 19:38:32

.... they can't see ...

StuntGirl Sun 27-Jan-13 19:43:23

I would perhaps be more open to sitting at a concert, but even then depending how poppy/dancey/upbeat the artist was I might be a bit hmm at being made to sit.

But at a gig they can fuck right off. Sitting for Rammstein?! shock Fuck that. If the band are setting fire to the stage then you can sod sitting politely for a game of soldiers.

ComposHat Sun 27-Jan-13 19:45:37

I've never called anyone a Cunt to their faces. I want to though.

Perhaps a Ronan Keating concert would be a good place to start.

I could maybe get on stage and say 'ladies and gentlemen for paying 60 odd quid to watch this middle of the road pap, you are all a bunch of cunts. Those of you who plan dancing in front of old people are double cunts. Now enjoy the show.'

IceNoSlice Sun 27-Jan-13 19:45:49

AIBU to have never heard of Rammstein? blush

mayorquimby Sun 27-Jan-13 19:46:10

think the other people in attendance were fsirly accurate in their assessment

StuntGirl Sun 27-Jan-13 19:52:29

Thank me later ice grin

TheDarkSideOfTheSpoon Sun 27-Jan-13 19:54:12

Wallison shock grin

Thank you to those who have understood, I really didn't want to ruin anyone's evening but we felt a bit rock/hard place and did try to be as accommodating as possible.

Getorf funny you should say that, when I was about 12 I went to see Boyzone (hmm... wondering if I should have admitted that on this thread) and my mum's friend offered to take me, he is humungous, 7ft something and we had seats on the floor/non raised section, he got asked by the stewards if he could stand at the back because people (also standing) couldn't see. (He did move btw).

There was a few stewards last night quite close to us, of course we would have moved if they had told us.

Growlithe Sun 27-Jan-13 19:54:24

For the love of Jeff can the OP tell us what Ronan was actually singing that you could dance and jump about to?

ComposHat Sun 27-Jan-13 19:59:47

AIBU to have never heard of Rammstein?

They are German Industrial band beloved of the greebos, sexually frustrated teenage boys and my mate dodgy DC, who inflicted their entire oeuvre upon me during a six hour car journey.

SpicyPear Sun 27-Jan-13 20:03:41

growlithe think 45+ age bracket, quite a lot of them with daughters, doing a mixture of swaying, bopping, side shuffling and that Mum dance where you bend your arms up by your sides and sort of swing your hips side to side a bit.

Growlithe Sun 27-Jan-13 20:05:56

I'm 45 this year SpicyPear. I'd better get practising. blush

MmeGuillotine Sun 27-Jan-13 20:06:17

Rammstein is my 7YO's favourite band. ;)

Dark Side, the situation wasn't ideal but having actually seen a photo of the O2 last night when the gig was going on, I can see that there was precious little space for ANYONE to have a bit of a dance should they so wish although like other posters I had no idea that Ronan K did dancey songs! smile

PessimisticMissPiggy Sun 27-Jan-13 20:07:44

YABU seated tickets mean seated.

Having seats in the gods of an arena and having to stand up cos some selfish people in front are stood up really isn't my idea of fun.

SpicyPear Sun 27-Jan-13 20:10:24

I can hook you up with my DM grow, she'll show you how it's done grin

EmpressOfThePuddle Sun 27-Jan-13 20:13:41


<only been to seated concerts>
So I might not be able to see and would just have to suck it up? sad Maybe I should take a box to stand on. just in case.

StuntGirl Sun 27-Jan-13 20:18:41

Yep Empress, pretty much. Depending which gig you go to you might also get a) pushed around in the pit b) drinks spilled on you c) kicked in the head by crowd surfers d) all of the above grin

ComposHat Sun 27-Jan-13 20:31:13

Thankfully there aren't many gigs that I've wanted to go to in these massive arenas and none that have been all seater.

But op the key is the all-seater bit and is I understand it is not uncommon with artists who attract a more mature following and play fairly sedate music, then the gigs are all seater. As far as I am concerned, if the seat is there you should blooming well use it. If there's people seated behind you, doubly so.

If you want to go to a gig where you can sing and dance with abandon, you need to be looking at smaller venues and, dare I say it, better music.

ravenAK Sun 27-Jan-13 20:37:16

My 8yo likes Rammstein too.

MEN is crap for this sort of thing; last time I was there, years ago (either Muse or Marilyn Manson) the stewards spent all night chasing punters with seated tickets vaulting the barriers into the (sold out) standing bit.

I'd probably have seen if I could go to the loo/bar & then wander into a bit of seated where rockin' to Ronan was deemed acceptable. I wouldn't've been able to relax & enjoy dancing knowing the rest of the stand was daggering my back all night.

bringnbuy Sun 27-Jan-13 20:40:00

Roman bloody keating smile not exactly 'heavy groove' is it. now if it had been Prodigy i would have been dancing naked on my chair & NOONE could have stopped me smile but roman keating......

MmeGuillotine Sun 27-Jan-13 20:42:53

I once ended up in seated at the O2 for My Chemical Romance (friend bought tickets so not my doing) which was hideous as I am terrified of heights. The stewards had no problem letting us into the (sold out!) standing bit when I had a bit of a weep at them about it so you could always try that if you either a. want to have a dance but everyone else in your bit is sitting down or b. can't see over the head of the person dancing about in front of you. ;)

jamdonut Sun 27-Jan-13 20:58:51

Am I considered old for a rock concert? I am 48, DH is 52. there were older people than us at the Muse concert!! I like to Rock Out like anyone else,but I just don't want to stand for the whole 2 hours they are on, you know? Just have a sense of what the people behind you are doing before you decide to stand.

shesariver Sun 27-Jan-13 21:01:28

Well obviously cunty ladies favourite RK song isnt "When you Say Nothing at All" is it!

ComposHat Sun 27-Jan-13 21:15:49

Not too old to rock n'roll at 48.

Mind you I did go to Patti Smith / Television gig a few years ago at what is now the academy. It was all standing and sold out.

The crowd was made up largely of ageing punks with paunches, the girth of which the venue hadn't calculated in their capacity. It was an extremely tight, sweaty and uncomfortable fit.

Great gig though. But then I'd expected nothing less.

stifnstav Sun 27-Jan-13 21:40:00

I can only think of two RK songs, both of which have been mentioned up-thread and neither of which I would ever consider dancing to.

One of them might cause some mellow finger-clicking, maybe a foot-tap at a push.

But definitely no dancing.

RedToothBrush Sun 27-Jan-13 21:43:53

If you go to a gig and seat, the rule is to follow what the rest of the crowd around you is doing. If the norm is to stand, its fine. If its not, you are being a gigantic selfish prick. This varies enormously depending on the artist you are seeing, so there is never ever a set 'rule'. In fact during some gigs people will sit for some song and sit for others depending on the song. You should be aware of what other people are doing at all times. A crowd is about being part of of a collective group experience which includes strangers, not alienating others just because they aren't in your group or gang.

Not to mention you can dance perfectly well sat down - after all the space you have when you are stood, doesn't exactly lend itself to spectacular dance moves. It is not a compulsory part of "having a good night".

If you can't handle this, don't get upset when others get pissed at you ruining their experience or make sure you get standing tickets...

... and just so you know there's also standing ticket etiquette; which also goes along the lines of respecting and understanding the behaviour of the section of the crowd you are in. Dancing in a certain way in certain parts of the crowd can also equal twatty annoying selfish behaviour.

This is called "Having consideration for other people".
Not a difficult concept to understand.

YABVU not to understand this.

PS You deserve to be flamed as much as possible on this thread for admitting to have such piss poor music taste.

SwedishEdith Sun 27-Jan-13 21:52:28

I've got Life is a Rollercoaster now as an earworm because of this thread angry grin

IceNoSlice Sun 27-Jan-13 22:01:29

And me, SwedishEdith (great nn BTW)

We found Lu-huv
So don't fie-d it..

IceNoSlice Sun 27-Jan-13 22:03:36

And StuntGirl, thanks for the Rammstein link. Will have to educate myself tomorrow though as I'm guessing DH will not want to be woken up by a German metal band grin

StuntGirl Sun 27-Jan-13 22:09:46


OscarPistoriusBitontheside Sun 27-Jan-13 22:44:09

Ds who is 2 to has a toy giraffe that how's EVEYWHERE. It is called dast miche because if DH educating him in the wonders of Rammstein.

GetOrf Sun 27-Jan-13 23:01:47

Lol at mum dancing and the Grange Hill one step, two step.

Am I horrible to want to now go to a Ronan Keating concert to stand up (with platforms, and I am a 'tall twat' as well) with a high ponytail.

SoftKittyWarmKitty Sun 27-Jan-13 23:03:12

I used to work in the offices of a big arena and we had a policy of asking people to sit down if other customers complained that they couldn't see. Security stewards used to ask them to sit down if a complaint was made. I used to get letters of complaint after events from people who couldn't see and my response was always to say if you'd approached security, they'd have asked those in front to sit down. I know you want to enjoy yourself but it's common courtesy to allow those behind you to see.

We had Ronan there quite a few times grin.

GetOrf Sun 27-Jan-13 23:03:47

I have never heard of Wannstein, thank god and all his seraphim and cherubim.

Ronan has got a very specific nasal singing voice hasn't he, bless him. OP did you take along some of those nose clips that synchronised swimmers wear for when you had a sing a long?

Tigerbomb Sun 27-Jan-13 23:08:35

Rammstein rock

I saw them last feb and no way was was I sitting. (although I could be really crude about where I would sit ) grin

BreconBeBuggered Sun 27-Jan-13 23:16:42

Sorry, but as others have said, you have to follow the lead of the rows behind you. And take into account the position of your seat in relation to the view of the stage for those not immediately behind you who might have your arse in their line of vision rather than the performer they've come to see <bitter>. I go to a fair number of gigs, need to book seats and love to get up to dance now and again but it's not always possible. A back row/lower tier seat near the stage is your best bet for being able to get up when you feel like it without disturbing anyone.

Worst thing about gigs is the other fans, I tell you. The bastards. If they're not standing up or singing too loudly they're waving their bloody mobiles around the entire time. Or slapping their ponytail rhymically into your face for two hours.

I might be getting too old and grumpy for that kind of caper altogether.

BreconBeBuggered Sun 27-Jan-13 23:17:56

Fucksake, where is the edit button?

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 28-Jan-13 05:11:39

Don't worry - life's a rollercoaster, sometimes you just gotta ride it."

HA HA HA!!! Pickled is bringing the Lola on this thread!

My hips are ducked thanks to chronic SPd when I was pregnant. Standing fir long periods is an issue for me fir thus reason. Went to see Queens of the Stone Age and got a seated ticket and had two 12 year old girls who only knew one song standing in front of me. I asked them very nicely I they could sit and they called me a fucking Nan shock Excuse me,you little twats but I have more rock and roll in my fingernail than in your two bodies combined. Presumptuous little shits!


BupcakesAndCunting Mon 28-Jan-13 05:13:15

Bringing the Lola?

Oh yes.


GetOrf Mon 28-Jan-13 06:30:45

Shut up, nan.

EmpressOfThePuddle Mon 28-Jan-13 08:16:42

GetOrf - I take back the tall twat comment, sorry it upset you (and I had no idea how tall any MNers were when I made it).
Looks like I'll just have to see what happens.

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 28-Jan-13 08:47:57

She IS a tall twat,make no apologies for it.

Standing behind GetOrf at a gig is akin to standing behind the BT Tower.

Only pulling your plod Getorf, you know aunty Bupz luvzz ya bubbahh xxxx

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 28-Jan-13 08:49:56

LOL at shut up nan, only just saw that you penis grin

12ylnon Mon 28-Jan-13 10:48:43

Sorry, but i think if you pay to sit down, you should sit or book seats in the back row. I don't understand why you didn't do that in the first place if you wanted to dance- If there weren't standing places available, i would have booked somewhere else.
I would be annoyed if someone stood in front of me and i couldn't see what i'd paid to see. Some people might not be able to stand up or have booked seats purposely because they didn't want to, so i think you are being unfair.
I wouldn't call you a cunt, but i think you should be a bit more considerate next time.

Hulababy Mon 28-Jan-13 10:50:17

Many big concerts you can't choose which seat you get. You find out later on.

GetOrf Mon 28-Jan-13 11:41:43

empress no need to apologise. grin. I am a tall twat, I think your statement is probably quite apt.

bups what the bloody hell were you doing posting at that hour? did you have to get up to put your electric blanket back on?

RandallPinkFloyd Mon 28-Jan-13 12:07:29

If everyone else around you was sitting down it wasn't great form to stand up was it? That's not exactly rocket science. Don't most people just go with the majority? If you sit and most stand it's a bit shit but not much you can do about it so you look at arses. If you stand but no one else does - sit your arse down and get over it.

I'm a tall twat. I'm always hyper-conscious of standing because my friend is a short twat and has made me painfully aware of the detrimental impact tall twat-ness has on the day to day lives of the short twat.

Eg. The armpit to face issue when dancing arms aloft, the boobs to back of head collision if dancing in a confined space etc.

This will so out me.

DH and I once got a bollocking from a couple because we were dancing at a Grace Jones gig. WTF? We were in the standing area, everyone else was dancing, but the man asked us to stop dancing as we were "disturbing his wife's enjoyment". I laughed and said it wasn't a Coldplay concert. The woman folded her arms and said 'this is ridiculous'. I pointed out that she could have got seated tickets.

We kept on dancing. The woman screamed at us about 10 minutes later (over the loud disco music that everyone was dancing to) that we had 'ruined her night'. I told her that she'd ruined her own night and that Grace Jones would probably shit on her face if she ever met her. Not my finest comeback but it was awfully satisfying. They did kind of scuttle away.

Who wouldn't dance at a Grace Jones gig? Weirdos.

But, er, back to the OP - I think you were being a bit U if nobody in your section was standing.

ubik Mon 28-Jan-13 13:11:19

This is why I never go to these big arena gigs.

borninastorm Mon 28-Jan-13 13:39:03

DP and I had seated tickets for Nine Inch nails at Brixton and knew we'd have to sit for the gig.. This was a disappointment for us but there were no standing tickets left. Turns out our hangovers were v grateful for this!

The only two people who did stand up in the seating area were an off his head young bloke who kept getting told to sit down by security only to pop back up seconds later. He wasnt anywhere near us.

The other 'stander' was a VIP. I'm sure it was Grace Jones but DP says it wasn't (it was!) she was right at the front of the balcony (all 8 door of her) dancing and throwing her arms around in wild abandon. No security told her to sit down! And obviously neither did I grin

borninastorm Mon 28-Jan-13 13:40:08

"8 foot of her" not "8 door" - bloody iPad!

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 28-Jan-13 14:04:06

Got a sore throat and a leaking face, GetOrf sad

TBH, I'm not a fan of dancing at gigs. <miserable old trout> I think it's a bit "look at meeeee!" and just inconsiderate. I've had at least 10 gigs ruined by flailing armed dancers.

Discos are for dancing. Gigs are for watching and listening.

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 28-Jan-13 14:04:27


I really AM a nan sad

borninastorm I knew Grace Jones wouldn't mind if we danced at her gig. I knew it.

Bupcakes I don't like it when people are flailing their arms...I'm more of a shuffler, bit of a bob up and down, kind of dancer. Flailing is not acceptable.

ubik Mon 28-Jan-13 14:10:26

'Sit down' and 'nine inch nails gig' should not be in same sentence!

Once you are whinging on about not being able to get s comfy seat with a good view at a gig, perhaps it's time to pack up some sandwiches and go for a 'nice drive' on a Sunday afternoon.

ubik Mon 28-Jan-13 14:12:54

The only thing I really hate is 'girl on boyfriend's shoulders' at festivals. Although 20 years ago they would get hit with bottles of piss.

RandallPinkFloyd Mon 28-Jan-13 14:16:57

Arf at discos grin

I have to be honest, if I saw 2 people stood up dancing and arm waving surrounded by seated people I would think attention seeking twat. If I saw 2 people sitting down surrounded by dancing people I'd just think, poor buggers bet they can't see a thing, and carry on with my dancing. Majority rooles innit.

Awesome Grace Jones x-posting, she gets about doesn't she!

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 28-Jan-13 14:28:34

So disabled people shouldn't be able to enjoy a NIN gig, ubik? Unless you are joking and I'm missing the point!

ubik Mon 28-Jan-13 14:32:01

Oh FGS hmm
I'm not even going to dignify that comment with an answer bupcakes.

theodorakisses Mon 28-Jan-13 14:32:22

I think that, whatever your age, whatever your gender, name calling like that is vile. How upsetting.

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 28-Jan-13 14:34:22

Your choice.

There's been a lot of it on this thread so was only clarifying.

ubik Mon 28-Jan-13 14:42:37

Clarifying what?

I think you are on a wind up under the guise of bring a concerned citizen, which is pretty shitty behaviour.

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 28-Jan-13 14:46:02

Clarifying that you were just joking.

On a wind-up how?!

BonaDea Mon 28-Jan-13 14:47:52

No one should ever have called you that name, it's disgusting that people think they can use that language to anyone.

However, if you were in fact blocking the view of those behind you, it was perhaps a little bit selfish of you. Seated areas are seated for a reason, and often it is because those in that areas are not able to stand for long periods of time (such as the elderly lady beside you) or would simply rather sit to enjoy the music. So, if by standing you are blocking someone else's view, I do think that means YABU.

Maybe next time either dance in the aisle or buy the standing tickets!

IceNoSlice Mon 28-Jan-13 14:48:45

Ooh Bupcakes it's like the baby shower thread all over again! I'm not sure whether to run away or chant 'scrap, scrap, scrap'.

<wusses it and runs away>

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 28-Jan-13 14:51:34

Except that this time I am not actually being a cunt, Ice! <mystified>

IceNoSlice Mon 28-Jan-13 14:54:45

True, I didn't mean anything by that except that you seen to be getting attacked quite a lot lately. But I have no doubt that you are very capable of standing up for yourself grin

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 28-Jan-13 14:56:38

Oh aye, I get you!

I do have updates for the bubbah showa thread but I am not feeling brave today.

ubik Mon 28-Jan-13 14:57:02

I royally pissed off that anyone would ask me to underline that I don't think people with physical impairments should be banned from gigs because they may not be able to stand up.

Some things don't need 'clarification.' Perhaps I should devise a disclaimer to go under every post just for 'clarification'

EmpressOfThePuddle Mon 28-Jan-13 14:57:18

But to be fair, OP and her friend did offer to swap with the woman who couldn't see.

Samu2 Mon 28-Jan-13 14:57:48

Me and my mum had seats when we went to see U2.

Not one person sat down! Everyone was standing on the seat. We got seats because we didn't want to be pushed around by the crowds while waiting for them to come on like last time.

I have never really seen anyone sit on their seat throughout a concert.

BupcakesAndCunting Mon 28-Jan-13 15:00:46

Whatever, Ubik. I did say I might have missed a joke but if you want to get a stick up your arse about it, carry on. You're being very defensive, when all that was needed was a "Yes I was joking!"

Hullygully Mon 28-Jan-13 15:07:58

why would anyone even go to a gig? <mystified>

JuliaScurr Mon 28-Jan-13 15:22:12

the 3 areas of designated seating aren't provided for choice, wheelchairs get one area in each venue. It's usually not a good area.

Hully ?

scarletforya Mon 28-Jan-13 15:23:11

I am morto for you OP, admitting on a public forum that you went to a Ronan Keating concert!

Have you no shame?

GetOrf Mon 28-Jan-13 16:10:05

lol at the word morto. That sounds like something Alf Roberts would say.

GetOrf Mon 28-Jan-13 16:10:40

Hang on Alf Roberts was in Corrie, Alf from Home and Away married to Ailsa. Alf Ramsay

GetOrf Mon 28-Jan-13 16:11:35


<goes away>

JuliaScurr Mon 28-Jan-13 17:03:48

that's why it's anonymous, scarlet

StuntGirl Mon 28-Jan-13 17:52:10

But they can't cover for everyone's personal circumstances can they? They can accommodate disabilities as far as they can but other illnesses/ailments/issues are tougher.

LucyGoose Mon 28-Jan-13 18:21:41

I can see the headlines now: "Potty mouth gran riots at Ronan Keating gig" LOL!!! If an older person called me that I would probably be so shocked and burst out laughing.

SwedishEdith Mon 28-Jan-13 18:31:19

Worst thing about gigs is the other fans, I tell you

This is so true. I've been to gigs where people stand (too close to me) with their back to the stage chatting all night or just checking FB. Why??????

SwedishEdith Mon 28-Jan-13 18:35:06

Grace Jones gets around doesn't she? <I was hula hooping as well>

montage Mon 28-Jan-13 19:10:45

I like Ronan Keating on the basis that in a packed shop during Christmas madness one year he was the only person who stood back and cleared a path for me to get DS in his wheelchair through the ailse. (I was slightly surprised to see that the helpful man was Ronan Keating)

But I still don't understand how you dance to his music. Doesn't he do the slower kind of Boyzone song?

The ones where syncronished climbing off their stools at the key change consitutituted dancing?

montage Mon 28-Jan-13 19:15:05

Actually have all you UK mumsnetters been deprived of the classic clip that is Boyzone's first ever TV appearance on Irish TV?

They certainly danced then. grin

TheDarkSideOfTheSpoon Mon 28-Jan-13 19:24:25

montage I love that clip, never fails to make me grin and cringe on equal measure!

scarlet yep, that's the beauty of an anonymous forum, I could be your respectable accountant in RL and you would never suspect my dirty little secret wink

montage Mon 28-Jan-13 19:58:21

But did it make you want to dance along?

RandallPinkFloyd Mon 28-Jan-13 20:03:35

Blimey, look at Ronan go!

SpicyPear Mon 28-Jan-13 20:13:26

So spoon I take it you'll be hitting Ticketmaster hard on Valentine's Day?

TheDarkSideOfTheSpoon Mon 28-Jan-13 20:45:21

Oh yes pear, I'll be there with bells on grin although this time hoping for standing tickets only wink

I'm not sure I could keep up montage!

LynetteScavo Mon 28-Jan-13 20:57:14

I think if the old dear didn't want to stand she should have bought front of the section tickets.

You offered to swap seats.

I may well have asked staff to have a word with her to explain standing is acceptable. Dancing in the aisle would have soon got their attention. wink

IceNoSlice Mon 28-Jan-13 21:19:46

HAHAHAHA at that Boyzone clip, that's the funniest thing I've seen today!

EmpressOfThePuddle Tue 29-Jan-13 02:08:56

Lynette, it wasn't the lady they offered to swop with who was complaining, it was someone else altogether. Sounds like the old lady didn't really mind.

LynetteScavo Tue 29-Jan-13 20:16:50

Oh, I see. I'm guessing it was some retirement club outing.

catsrus Tue 29-Jan-13 22:33:54

What I don't understand is how anyone is meant to know what these unwritten rules about bands and gigs and dancing are? I've been to plenty of live events over the years, some standing, some sitting, some where people started to bop along at the end to the "big final encore" - but was shock when I went to a Fleetwood Mac reunion concert at Wembley arena a couple of years ago - took a friend as a treat as she is a huge fan, got decent seats (so I thought).

Everyone in our section was standing from the first song - the seats were so crammed together it was hard to stand upright and we couldn't see a bloody thing. The people up on the (cheaper) elevations were all sitting comfortably and could see everything - we could see nothing and were so uncomfortable that we left early. totally miserable experience as we couldn't even move properly if we'd wanted to dance as we were jammed in. It just wouldn't have happened in my local (very large) venue - they regularly take out the 'ground floor' seats for standing so you know what you're getting when you buy the ticket.

MrsHoarder Tue 29-Jan-13 22:48:29

Oh my. Those dungarees.

I never understand concert etiquette, but those dungarees are something. Poor lads, most of us keep our early career mess-ups private.

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