Friend borrowing clothes *warning slightly pathetic*

(35 Posts)
LittletonPace Sat 26-Jan-13 20:11:10

I'm a little bit precious about lending things out, because I hate to think of my things getting damaged or constantly having to ask for them back weeks later.

Anyways, a friend asked to borrow one of my tops, I agreed.

The top has ribbons attached in the inside so you can hang it up. (I always have this top hanging as it's get creased so easily) and my friend has now snipped the ribbons out.

And she returned it unwashed. She returned it the day after she'd worn it out but I never gave her a timeframe in which to give it me back.

Aibu to think you if you borrow something you shouldn't alter the top and you should at least wash it before handing it back?

I know I'm being slightly pathetic about it, but it's just annoyed me. I also would probably never even bother to mention it to my friend.

ENormaSnob Sat 26-Jan-13 20:13:09

I would be pissed off about the ribbons.

And I think she is rude to not wash it.

redandwhitesprinkles Sat 26-Jan-13 20:13:23

Easy to say no next time though. She is rude and ungrateful.

Callmedoe Sat 26-Jan-13 20:14:23

She was wrong to be cutting things out of clothes, don't lend her anything again.

YorkshireDeb Sat 26-Jan-13 20:14:44

That's completely out of order! I always snip the ribbons out of my own tops but would never do it to someone else without asking first. X

CloudsAndTrees Sat 26-Jan-13 20:14:59

YANBU pathetic to be pissed off, but it's a bit pathetic to have valid reason to be annoyed when someone who is supposed to be a friend damaged your property and then not say anything.

Nigglenaggle Sat 26-Jan-13 20:15:19

Gosh thats pretty rude to permanently alter someone elses stuff though. I got a bit annoyed when someone borrowed a paperback off me and returned it creased along the hinge - I would be much crosser about this!! I think you should mention it to her - otherwise it will fester

littlemisssarcastic Sat 26-Jan-13 20:15:35

YANBU to expect your friend not to snip bits off of your clothes.

Is the top silk or something like that?

I might feel a bit apprehensive about putting it in my washing machine if it was a delicate material, but I'd probably not have borrowed it then, or at the very least explained.

Did your friend say anything about the loops snipped out or not washing it, or did you discover it yourself without her saying anything?

Glossynotflossy Sat 26-Jan-13 20:16:56

No ynbu. You should expecy things to be returned in the condition that they were loaned out.

countryrose Sat 26-Jan-13 20:16:57

Well she was wrong to alter it and give it to you unwashed, but now you know not to lend her anything again, unless you be specific with her what she is allowed to do and not to do with your belongings.

Lavenderhoney Sat 26-Jan-13 20:17:26

Er- don't lend to her again. Dreadful. I lent a friend a ball gown, pointed out the tiny tear in the skirt ( you couldn't see it, as it was under) she didn't wear it it the end but gave it back dry cleaned and mended!

Why was she borrowing your stuff? ESP tops - they are cheap to buy now anywhere?

andtheycalleditbunnylove Sat 26-Jan-13 20:17:39

why lend your friends clothes? say no. it is unreasonable of them to expect it. i have more than 75 pairs of black trousers. no-one, but no-one is borrowing a pair. i would not want to have back anything that someone else had worn.

LittletonPace Sat 26-Jan-13 20:18:27

Sorry should have said friend didn't mention anything about snipping the ribbons out.

And the top is quite delicate, so perhaps she didn't feel easy about washing it, but then if she'd said that I would have been fine about it.

I know most people do cut the loops out but imo thats for you to do to your own clothes, not to someone else's.

Convert Sat 26-Jan-13 20:19:04

75 pairs of black trousers?! Why?!

LittletonPace Sat 26-Jan-13 20:20:32

Also - sorry trying not to drip feed. I've never lent her clothes before.

And I'm one of those people that if someone (especially a friend) asks me to borrow something or give them a lift, then I'll say yes as I don't have a good enough reason to say no.

Yep. I most probably am considered to be a pushover.

countryrose Sat 26-Jan-13 20:21:03

75 pairs of trousers blimey

LittletonPace Sat 26-Jan-13 20:21:48

i would not want to have back anything that someone else had worn.

I don't lend my things to strangers, so don't really have a problem with this.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 26-Jan-13 20:22:02

75 pairs of black trousers shock
Would you even notice if somebody borrowed a pair?

MumVsKids Sat 26-Jan-13 20:24:45

75 pairs of black trousers shock ????

How many pairs of other coloured trousers do you have and is your wardrobe the size of my house????

Nigglenaggle Sat 26-Jan-13 20:25:26

If the answer to that question is yes, then I fear you!!

Glossynotflossy Sat 26-Jan-13 20:25:27

someone snipped off a plastic tag rhat was used to keep a price tag on one of my bags. It annoyed me then and its a bit silly i will admit but it annoys me now.

Your things your rules.

Snazzynewyear Sat 26-Jan-13 20:26:13

Don't lend again. You'll need to prepare a line if you're a pushover. I'd suggest 'Sorry, I'm going to need it myself', repeated as many times as necessary. And yes, out of order on the cutting ribbons and not-washing front.

andtheycalleditbunnylove Sat 26-Jan-13 20:41:44

yes, i would notice.
i acquired them over time without counting.
i also have trousers in navy and grey, but sadly, no brown ones.
my wardrobe is the size of a small bedroom. in fact, it is a small bedroom.

ZillionChocolate Sat 26-Jan-13 20:44:38

Did you look at the top when she returned it? Or was it folded up in a bag or something?

If you're a scaredy cat, I'd consider sending her a text saying:
"did you cut the hanging loops out of my top? I prefer to keep them in there. If you didn't know how to wash it, you should have asked. Hope you enjoyed wearing it".

LostWithoutDom Sat 26-Jan-13 20:45:44

i acquired them over time without counting.

Think it's time you sorted out your wardrobe to be honest.

Anything that I don't wear in a year will most likely be donated to charity. It really isn't about quantity.

I'd rather have 5 pieces of Armani, than 500 pieces of Primark.

SparkyTGD Sat 26-Jan-13 20:47:35

YANBU, or pathetic. Very cheeky of her.

cerealqueen Sat 26-Jan-13 21:03:37

YANBU. I hate lending clothes out. My sister used to borrow stuff all the time and either ruin it, or never return it and when I'd ask for it back say 'I didn't realise you wanted it back'. confused then 'I've gotten rid of it' shock. 'It was really old.' And she didn't actually give to charity shops, she used to just put old clothes in the bin.

Once, she gave a pair of boots I lent to her, to a friend!

Say something to her as she ought to have returned it dry cleaned in pristine condition, cheeky cow.

StickEmUp Sat 26-Jan-13 21:09:19

'Never a lender or a borrower be'

Said by dear old Granny StickEmUp.

HollaAtMeBaby Sat 26-Jan-13 21:23:59

YANBU about the loops but on the rare occasions that I lend clothes, I tell people NOT to try and wash them after an unfortunate incident when a beloved skirt was returned to me half the size it had been because my friend chucked it in the washing machine. If it's dry clean only, I ask them to get it dry cleaned, but I wouldn't someone washing something of mine themself <laundry control freak>

HollaAtMeBaby Sat 26-Jan-13 21:25:08

Glossynotflossy why would you want to leave a plastic price tag on your bag? confused

Pigsmummy Sat 26-Jan-13 21:27:35

75 pairs of trousers? No washing machine? Why?

expatinscotland Sat 26-Jan-13 21:29:44

Who on Earth loans or borrows clothes from mates? Yuk. I did that as a teen.

DontmindifIdo Sat 26-Jan-13 21:31:14

OP - if she (or anyone else) asks to borrow your clothes again, you say "no, I don't lend clothes out anymore, I've had a couple of occassions when things haven't come back in a good condition and it really upset me, so I'm not doing that anymore."

AudrinaAdare Sat 26-Jan-13 21:38:57

Well I was going to comment that cutting the loops off was a bit mad and then I saw the 75 black trousers grin

I love a black trouser but IMO the beauty of them is that nobody can tell if you have been wearing the same two pairs for years because they are just, well, black trousers.

Anyway. Your friend was out of order OP. YANBU or pathetic.

AudrinaAdare Sat 26-Jan-13 21:44:05

I used to clothes-share with my mate / lodger when we were in our mid-twenties. It was great, we were the same size and instantly doubled our wardrobe when she moved in.

Then one of us started going out with someone with a skin condition. He claimed he was allergic to the fabric conditioner on the sheets but it was fucking scabies shock which put a stop to that sort of thing.

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