to replace my shampoo with something unexpected

(154 Posts)
HystericalBallads Sat 26-Jan-13 00:31:23

Have NCed as I'm feeling a bit paranoid about this.

I'm pretty certain that our cleaner has been taking showers and using my toiletries. She has been coming for 3 hours a week since September, she's my first cleaner and I've been very happy with the level of cleaning.

I thought I was imagining things at first, but every day or so after she'd been I started to notice that my shower gel and shampoo had depleted slightly. After a while of doubting myself I made tiny marks on my bottles and lo and behold, they had definitely been used.

There is nobody else in the household who could have used them - DS has his own bathroom and DH knows better than to use my toiletries.

I don't know what to do. I am tempted to put something unexpected in one of the bottles, WIBU to put some veet in the shampoo?

AgentZigzag Sat 26-Jan-13 00:34:33

I'm sure there must be easier ways of going about this like setting up a CCTV system in the bathroom asking her?

Down to brass tacks, you don't trust her.

Time to get another cleaner?

cocoachannel Sat 26-Jan-13 00:36:38

I'd question DH first. Mine may know that certain products are mine but if its the easiest thing to grab in the shower, liberal use of anything will occur.

Do you think she is actually showering at your house then. Is it so dirty she needs to do so before she leaves wink?

ThePathanKhansWitch Sat 26-Jan-13 00:38:10

Perhaps she cleans and showers?
Unless it was massively expensive, it wouldn,t bother me, I would give her her own towel.
Perhaps she doesn,t have access to hot water, you woukdn,t begrudge a bit of hot water and shampoo/gel, would you.
I do understand you being annoyed if its in paid time.

Ullena Sat 26-Jan-13 00:40:24

Is she adding a few drops of shampoo to the bleach when cleaning to make it smell extra nice? Or is it maybe just evaporating as liquids tend to?

How would you notice this?

HystericalBallads Sat 26-Jan-13 00:44:49

It definitely isn't DH, we've had words about him using my products many years ago and he really does know better.

If it were Radox perhaps I wouldn't care as much, but it's bleeding Philosophy shower gel and Jo Malone shampoo ffs.

JaambaJuice Sat 26-Jan-13 00:45:18

What about your conditioner?

HystericalBallads Sat 26-Jan-13 00:46:43

Funnily enough my conditioner has remained intact.

ThePathanKhansWitch Sat 26-Jan-13 00:47:46

Ask her, if you don,t mind tell her to bring her own, if you do, ask her to stop or dismiss her.

lollilou Sat 26-Jan-13 07:48:59

Some people do use a drop of shampoo as a cleaner it is a detergent. I have done it if the cleaning stuff is downstairs. I would think it would be unusual for a cleaner to shower in your home. Could you ask her outright?

Fairylea Sat 26-Jan-13 07:56:00

I'd just ask her. And if the rest of her cleaning is good I'd probably ignore it.

Maybe she needs to go somewhere straight afterwards and fancies a quick shower? Yep of course she should ask and bring her own stuff but I'd hardly think it worth such extreme suspicion etc.

Fairylea Sat 26-Jan-13 07:57:32

Also you say your ds has his own shower... is he a teenager? Maybe he's been sneaking a girl in and she's been pinching some of your stuff to shower with?

DuchessFanny Sat 26-Jan-13 08:03:40

Check with DH first, you never know ... It's just my DH knows I'll go mad if he uses my much pricier girlie stuff to his supermarket brand anti - dandruff (!) but that hasn't stopped him in the past ( bastard grin the fact conditioner wasn't used would be a give away for me as I know men don't tend to use it and I've never met a woman who doesn't iyswim ?

I could be wrong , and if so definitely just ask her x

Emilythornesbff Sat 26-Jan-13 08:12:15

It seems odd that someone might just decant a small amount of shampoo each time they clean.
I bet it's your DH. If he reliably denies this then just secrete the products on cleaning days. All conflict avoided and issue swept under the carpet, just how I like it. smile

StuntGirl Sat 26-Jan-13 08:18:01

YWBVU to put veet in it hmm

HecateWhoopass Sat 26-Jan-13 08:23:12

Are you sure she's not using the shampoo/shower gel to clean the bath?

If she was using it for herself, wouldn't she be conditioning it too?

I do. I have a cheap shampoo just for this purpose.

It brings it up beautifully. and it doesn't have that horrible film that gets left behind from bathroom cleaners.

Or she might be grubby and a bit sweaty after cleaning for 3 hours and freshens up a bit.

Why not just keep your shampoo & shower gel in your bedroom drawer and just take it with you when you go to shower? Then whoever is using it for whatever purpose - can't. Maybe leave a cheap one in there instead.

And yes, I know, why should you have to - well, because you don't want the stuff used and that's the easiest way to achieve that grin

Yogagirl17 Sat 26-Jan-13 08:24:52

i had a friend who discovered her cleaner was dying her hair when she came to the house to clean! I'd be pretty unhappy if a cleaner was showering in my house without asking me if it was ok. But Veet is probably a bit extreme! Why don't you just put the expensive stuff away somehere on the days you know she is coming?

Fayrazzled Sat 26-Jan-13 08:27:15

I can't believe you'd actually notice the shampoo and shower gel level changing. You could be mis-marking it as the contents settle further. Wouldn't a wet towel be a bigger clue or is it drying before you get home? You seem a bit obsessed with your products- your husband wouldn't dare touch them because you told him not to yeas ago. Really? I'd check again with him before you throw accusations at the cleaner.

Even if she is having a shower is it that big a deal? Maybe she hasn't got access to a shower at the moment? I'd leaver a towel out and a bottle of bog standard shampoo/ shower gel if the products use is a deal breaker.

MrsMushroom Sat 26-Jan-13 08:32:29

Ffs this isnt' 1843....all this talk of catching cleaners out....just tell her not to! As for it being expensive...sorry but I wouldn't know Jo Malone from Vosene! She's probably using it to wipe the shower.

KhallDrogo Sat 26-Jan-13 08:36:11

I think you are imagining it. The amount you use for 1 shower/hair wash, wouldn't fall below a mark on the bottle you freak unless your bottles are like a cm diameter and 3 foot tall

MrsMushroom Sat 26-Jan-13 08:36:12

Yes and what Fayrazzled said. Surely she'd leave a used towel behind. And her not having access to a shower was my first thought too...some people live in accommodation which isn't perfect. Just ask her if the though of her proletarian body in your shower is too upsetting.

Yogagirl17 Sat 26-Jan-13 08:39:35

I'm actually really surprised at everyone who has asked if it's really such a big deal if the cleaner is showering in the OP's home. Honestly, I'd be fuming and probably sack her immediately. And it's nothing to do with being precious about my shower, it's about trust. I'm trusting this person to be in my home when I'm not there and to do a job. If it turns out she's also showering and using my shampoo and not telling me this then I can't trust her in my house. Period. If she doesn't have access to a decent shower at home then she should ask if it's ok.

But agree the OP should ask her DH, ask the cleaner and/or hide the expensive shampoo rather than replace it with something nasty.

DreamingOfTheMaldives Sat 26-Jan-13 08:40:12

Don't the majority of women tend to use conditioner too; men don't tend to bother. I bet it's your husband

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 08:42:26

Well, if the cleaner was having a shower in my place, purely for the sake of having a shower, I wouldn't like it. It's not the OPs issue whether she has access to a shower/feels dirty after work. Would it be ok for her to make a sandwich too, because after all she might not have a kitchen, or might be hungry after cleaning?

But that aside, I really doubt she's just having a shower. Is your shower some weird, awkward shape where the only way to clean it is to be inside with it on? We had a shower like this once. Does the cleaner have short hair? Unless it's really short, not using the conditioner seems strange.

MrsMushroom Sat 26-Jan-13 08:43:54

Yoga she could be doing it after she's finished her work. she could be embarrassed to ask permission. Why fume?

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 08:44:03

I wouldn't replace the shampoo with something nasty though, regardless. I would either ask her how she cleans the shower, or arrange to be there one day while she cleans if you feel you can't.

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 08:44:41

MrsMushroom, presumably because it's not her shower to use.

Yogagirl17 Sat 26-Jan-13 08:55:06

Mushroom - Why fume? Because it's not part of what we agreed to. Like I said, it's about trust. Would it be ok if she also invited her friends round for a coffee after she finished cleaning because her husband is controlling and doesn't allow her to have friends round? Would it be ok if you left a plumber in your house to fix your toilet and found out later that he had also used your shower while he was there. Sorry, but it's just not on. But like I said, nothing to do with not wanting someone else's "proletarian" body in my shower. It's about being able to trust the person and knowing what they are up to when they are in my home. If they want to use my shower they should ask.

Yogagirl17 Sat 26-Jan-13 08:55:26

Speaking of which, I'm off to have a shower! grin

Chandon Sat 26-Jan-13 08:56:20

I had a cleaner who used my face creams and hand creams, I love my lotions and potions and so does she as she is an Avon lady. My stuff is nicer than Avon, and she always seemed interested.

I noticed as a hand cream I was gifted was half empty, and I had never used it before! Same with a daily moisturiser (as I use a different one in winter and summer).

Then I found her making calls on my landline too (classic way to find out: I left but remembered I had forgotten something, let myself back in and she was on my phone, to family abroad).

Small dishonesties can lead to bigger ones, if unchecked.

I did not ask her to leave as I felt sorry for her, just told her to stop using my creams and the telephone, and that I check these things. She was very embarrassed (me too!) but did not ruin her second chance.

I would ask her straight, not accusing her, just saying "I noticed someone is using my shower stuff, Do you ever use it? It may be a strange question, but some people use shampoo for cleaning, and this stuff is too nice for that, so just wondering really" (that some people use it for cleaning I learned on MN)

let us know the outcome please!

theoriginalandbestrookie Sat 26-Jan-13 08:56:47

Why don't you just hide it on the day she comes?

Emilythornesbff Sat 26-Jan-13 08:57:11

She's not showering at your house. She would be using the conditioner and leaving a wet towel (unless she's going to the trouble of tumble drying the towel afterwards?!).
No woman would steal shampoo in increments without also swiping some conditioner surely!
So the options are:
a. You're mistaken
b. the cleaner is using some shampoo to clean the shower (solution is to hide the shampoo)
c. (most likely by miles) your DH is using your shampoo (solution:LTB grin)
D. Your son is using your shampoo. (no solution, sons are flawless of course smile)

schoolgovernor Sat 26-Jan-13 09:03:00

Some strange replies here!
Personally, I seldom use conditioner, so that counts that bit of detective work out.
If a cleaner uses the facilities in a home without asking it's an abuse of trust, and you might wonder what other things they are doing that you haven't noticed. Also you'd surely wonder if this was happening during the time they were paid to be working? People might fantasise about the cleaner's deprived home circumstances, but the fact is that if they want to use part of Op's home they should ask.
I don't know what "traps" I'd set to be honest, apart from maybe coming home unexpectedly sometimes. I think that's worth doing in any case really.
If I found a cleaner using a phone, computer or shower without asking they'd be out the door straight away. No second chances, just pick up coat and go. This is coming from someone who is an ex-cleaner!

Chandon Sat 26-Jan-13 09:06:03

I do believe in second chances, after our chat she was very appreciative and loyal and never tried anything again.

reastie Sat 26-Jan-13 09:13:36

IMO if she's using shower gel and shampoo (that's an 'if') then she WOULD use conditioner too. Men don't seem as fussed with conditioner (vast generalisation but just from my experience) so I'd check with your DH first before filling the shampoo bottles up with bleach or some such. Or maybe try smelling her hair when she's finished!

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 09:14:52

pmsl laughing at smelling her hair when she's finished reastie grin

Emilythornesbff Sat 26-Jan-13 09:22:25

schoolgovernor I was really onto something there with the conditioner!
I agree that I wouldn't be happy for my cleaner to be showering at my house when she's meant to be cleaning.

KhallDrogo Sat 26-Jan-13 09:50:31

So, those of you that only object on trust/principle reasons...if the cleaner asked if she could use your shower, would you say yes?

And OP do you object to cleaner using the shower, if she wasn't using your expensive wot-nots?

bottleofbeer Sat 26-Jan-13 09:53:11

Not all women condition their hair! I hardly do because it makes it all limp and rubbish.

reastie Sat 26-Jan-13 09:56:53

grin whiteflame

Khall personally if I had a regular cleaner I knew I would be OK with her using my shower on a very short term temporary basis if she asked me first and there was a good reason (like her hot water wasn't working and she wanted a shower for a couple of times whilst it was being fixed). I think just helping yourself to someones shower and toiletries is very rude - she's being paid to clean the house not herself! Plus she's using up hot water which means she's actually costing OP money (if she is showering that is).

OP, what do you think the cleaner is doing to dry herself? Does she have a huge handbag which contains a towel or does she use yours . I'm thinking if she is showering and doesn't supply her own soaps, she may also not supply the towels <shudder>

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 10:00:46

Not sure Khall... depends on what the cleaner's like otherwise really.

If they'd been there a while and proved themselves reliable, and said their shower was broken and could they shower here this week, no problem. If on their first day or two they said, can I take showers here, I'd be surprised and probably say no!

I mean, we have a room with beds in where I work. I COULD sleep there. But I wouldn't expect my boss to agree to me taking up residence there. Neither would I just take up residence because I thought he would say no if I asked.

Hide the bottles
Why waste a £16 bottle of Philosophy by putting Veet in it

YAB^VV^U by thinking of putting something like Veet in something that could go in her eyes.
Your DS/DH could use it by mistake. Do you want to risk blinding them too?

jamdonut Sat 26-Jan-13 10:06:21

I'd put all the bottles away somewhere,then see what happens.

zlist Sat 26-Jan-13 10:07:01

As you have been very happy with the level of cleaning then I would simply hide the shower gel and shampoo on the days she comes to clean.
Definitely don't put anything like veet in the bottle.

diddl Sat 26-Jan-13 10:07:29

Ah, schoolgovernor & bottleofbeer finally!!

I was loving the "it must be husband as all women condition".

I don´t-cba & don´t need to!

KhallDrogo Sat 26-Jan-13 10:07:34

What if she wants to shower, because she is going straight to a course or something after her jobs and wants to be fresh?

I don't understand the objection. If she is doing a good job. If she is using a towel she is obviously cleaning it as op hasn't noticed. I wouldn't object to use of toiletries either, but mine aren't expensive. I might be uncomfortable that cleaner hadn't asked me, so I would her it out in the open.

(still don't think she is using shower based on OPs 'evidence' mind)

KhallDrogo Sat 26-Jan-13 10:09:53

£16?!?! shock

Better duck out....this is one of those parallel universe, mumsnet moments...

FlipFlopFloss Sat 26-Jan-13 10:10:34

Veet - then if she goes bald you will know wink

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 10:11:28

So what if she does Khall? It doesn't matter what her reason is for wanting a shower - she must have some reason. But the reason is irrelevant, it isn't hers to have.

Maybe she does go straight to her course. Can she also make herself a snack so she's not hungry when she gets there? Maybe have a nap in the OPs bed too?

Again, assuming she IS having a shower.

£14-£18 on John Lewis website but thats for 480 ml .
And it can be used for shower/bath/hair so very nice.

(BTW I buy mine from QVC so not this price)

But I still wouldn't put Veet in it if I suspected someone (usually my DD in this house) of taking it.
I'm the cleaner here grin

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 26-Jan-13 10:16:12

What's so bad about making a sandwich?

Yogagirl17 Sat 26-Jan-13 10:17:02

"if the cleaner asked if she could use your shower, would you say yes?"

Possibly, depends on my relationship with her and why she needed it. If it was someone I knew and trusted and she said she had to go somewhere straight from my house I might be fine with it. I don't really know.

As for the towel thing, when I used to have a cleaner one of the things she did for me was wash & tumble dry all my towels and then hang them back up in the bathroom - so OP's cleaner could be using a towel then popping it in the tumble dryer for half an hour.

Actually thinking it could well be the DS - even if he has his own bathroom. If he's a teenager (did OP say how old her DS was?) maybe he really wants to smell nice?? And certainly wouldn't put it past a teenager to "borrow" something like that without fessing up.

Just think the OP needs to ask.

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 10:21:52

Well, you pay someone to clean your house. Not eat your food, use your shower, etc.

Would you really be happy for a cleaner to come to your house in the morning LadyBeagle, then stick around making themselves lunch and having a shower so they'd be nice and ready for their afternoon course or whatever?

Oh, I think there's a lesson for us all here..

If you borrow /steal Jo Malone or Philosophy (insert product of choice) from someones bathroom, top it up with Fairy Liquid or the like to avoid detection


MusicalEndorphins Sat 26-Jan-13 10:26:26
seeker Sat 26-Jan-13 10:31:33

When I had a cleaner she asked me if she could shower afterwards because she had another non- cleaning job to go to. Not a problem.

Dawndonna Sat 26-Jan-13 10:34:46

Nothing to add, but I never, ever condition my almost shoulder length hair.

TepidCoffee Sat 26-Jan-13 10:40:20

Apply Occam's Razor here.

Really, it's far more likely that your DH has forgotten (or 'forgotten') your chat about the shampoo than that your cleaner is showering in your house. It's also fairly easy to test this theory - just ask your DH!

KhallDrogo Sat 26-Jan-13 10:59:52

I wouldn't mind whiteflame
But of course, OP is entitled to mind, as is anyone else...just makes me a bit eye rolly about objecting for the sake of nothing

If the son is a teenager id be willing to bet he's sneaking a girl in during the day while op is at work.

grin at all the super detectives convinced it's a man based on conditioner non use. Dp steals conditioner all the time whereas ive recently stopped using it as I switched to argan oil.

Icelollycraving Sat 26-Jan-13 11:18:07

She might be using your stuff,it happens. The cleaner at work put a pair of the girls Havainas once. She had sweaty manky feet & we were all shock She used to lock the loo & sit on her phone & eat McDonald's. The whole situation was grim,I dismissed her.

Icelollycraving Sat 26-Jan-13 11:20:18

I am however baffled how you notice 1 amount of shampoo going though or does she come a few times a week? That would make sense in it depleting noticeably. The veet thing is a joke I assume.

PuffPants Sat 26-Jan-13 11:26:40

I doubt it OP.

It will be your DH or DS.

Emilythornesbff Sat 26-Jan-13 11:30:21

The dh did it. Tepid coffee has it in the bag.
Please update as I NEED to know.

fuzzpig Sat 26-Jan-13 11:31:14

This reminds me of the episode of Friends where Monica is convinced her cleaner is stealing her jeans and bra grin

HystericalBallads Sat 26-Jan-13 12:31:04

OP here.

It isn't DH. I've spoken to him about it, he assures me it isn't him, and I have no reason to disbelieve him.

It isn't DS either. He would rather not wash than use my things and run the risk of smelling "girly". I sincerely hope he isn't sneaking girls in who are subsequently using my shower, because he's 10.

It has to be the cleaner. I hadn't considered the possibility that she might be using my things as cleaning products - I just assumed that she was showering with them.

Re the conditioner. I initially thought it odd that it wasn't also being used, but she does have rather frizzy hair anyway, so perhaps she never uses it?

Anyway, I've had an idea. Rather than putting Veet in the bottle, I was thinking of putting some hair dye in there. If she's using shampoo as a cleaner, I'll see dye stains around the bath. If she's washing her hair with it, she'll end up with coloured hair (it's dark - I could get pink dye or something similarly unmistakable.) DH works from home sometimes, so I could ask him to work from home the next time she cleans and see what colour her hair is.

Emilythornesbff Sat 26-Jan-13 12:34:48

Why not just pop it in a drawer?

Emilythornesbff Sat 26-Jan-13 12:37:26

Actually, I think I might have been taken in by fib here.
In case this is for real. Do not put hair dye in the bottle. It is seriously one of the most allergenic products possible. Potential for very serious harm.

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 12:37:44

interesting that so many people wouldn't mind, never would have occurred to me that this would be acceptable.

OP, I wouldn't put anything in the bottle, seems really mean and excessive. Putting stuff in bottles that are labelled otherwise is a pet hate of mine, I work in a chemistry lab, and it is never a good idea. Chemicals (dye, veet) are dangerous if used wrongly. Plus, you'll waste a whole bottle of your special shampoo, won't you?

Far better to just ask the cleaner. Or just tell her it's too expensive to clean with. Then she'll know you're onto her either way.

Icelollycraving Sat 26-Jan-13 12:37:52

This can't be real. You are thinking of putting dye in it?

fuzzpig Sat 26-Jan-13 12:38:08

Surely if he's at home she wouldn't risk showering anyway?

meddie Sat 26-Jan-13 12:39:42

If the dye even stays stable for long enough and is not visible in the bottle, it will permanently stain your bath.
If you put anything in that bottle that can cause her potential damage I think you would be responsible for any injury (need a lawyer here to give the legal side of it)
But wasn't a guy recently imprisoned for spiking his bottle of drink in the fridge because he believed a co worker was stealing drinks, the thief drank some and sustained an injury if I remember rightly.

Why not let her think you are out and just hide in a cupboard or under a bed.

When she enters the bathroom you wait 10 mins then barge shouting "I've fucking got you, you shampoo stealing harlet"

She will either be in the shower or getting ready to or she will be cleaning.

diddl Sat 26-Jan-13 12:41:04

Surely she wouldn't shower when your husband is there?

Just ask if she is using the stuff to clean with!!

Emilythornesbff Sat 26-Jan-13 12:41:51

If she's showering while your DH is at home you're got bigger problems that a bit of shampoo theft.

LadyBeagleEyes Sat 26-Jan-13 12:42:12

FFS, just ask her.
Putting dye or veet in the bottles, are you serious?
I'm starting to have huge doubts about this thread now, I can't believe anybody would be so childish and mean spirited.

DawnOfTheDee Sat 26-Jan-13 12:42:44

I don't think your DH is going to like having pink hair...wink

BubblegumPie Sat 26-Jan-13 12:43:22


Just ask her OP! don't fanny around trying to catch her out and humiliate her.
IF she is using your shower, it's likely that it's because of some hardship and she's too embarrassed to ask.
I understand that you're pissed off that she hasn't asked your permission but surely you can see that putting dye in the bottle is a really immature and nasty way of dealing with this?

Willabywallaby Sat 26-Jan-13 12:52:56

And I was a bit hmm this week because my cleaner used my hairbrush.

Putting something in the bottle? That'd be great if she had an allergy, very clever hmm

catladycourtney1 Sat 26-Jan-13 12:59:10

Someone else has mentioned it, but my first thought re putting Veet/bleach/dye in it would be that you would end up in very serious trouble if she is using your shower. In the same vein as burglars who sue homeowners when they trip over things or whatever. Plus it might be innapropriate and an abuse of trust, but you can just sack her, you've no right to wreck her hair.

I would say, move your expensive products out of the bathroom first. Of course you shouldn't HAVE to, but it will save her using them up for whatever reason. Plus then, she might realise that you're onto her. If it is her and she is using your shower, I would imagine that she either has problems with her own shower, or is going somewhere after work and is too embarrassed to ask your permission.

My advice would be just to ask if she is using your shampoo to clean with, and ask her not to since it's expensive (personally I wouldn't know the difference, so its definitely possible that she doesn't). Or even leave a note, stick it to the bottle or something? If you don't want to confront her.

reastie Sat 26-Jan-13 12:59:54

dream but if she wasn't showering it wouldn't be an issue if she had an allergy would it!

willaby hmm that is a bit hmm

I often have strange mixes of stuff in my shampoo and/or shower gel, including natural dyes in the shampoo, so I think the cleaner is running the risk of it being something she's allergic to anyway (if she's actually showering with it).

If this is not a windup (and I have my doubts), then either ask the cleaner directly, or move the bottles out of the bathroom.

Sorry don't understand reastie, if she was showering and op put something in the bottle that many people are allergic to, that would be alright?

reastie Sat 26-Jan-13 13:05:44

dream I wasn't thinking bleach/very nasty substances that many people are allergic to, I was thinking you were saying if she were allergic to a substance that most people have no problems with, say, palmolive shower gel (or a substance in it). The cleaner IBU by showering without asking OP (if she is that is) and so it wouldn't be OPs fault if she had an allergic reaction to palmolive (or whatever) through using it. I'm not saying put bleach in it!

Well, actually, if it's the OP's shampoo bottle then she can put whatever she likes in it, no?

I don't think it is reasonable for the cleaner to anything other than a)clean and b)go to the loo if necessary. I think I would actually expect a cleaner to bring their own snacks too, if they feel they need them during the time they are cleaning, though I would be fine with saying they can have a tea/coffee/water while they are there.

I'm quite surprised that so many think it is fine for the cleaner to be showering at OP's (regardless of whether that is what's actually happening here).

KhallDrogo Sat 26-Jan-13 13:35:48

Putting Very or dye in the bottle is humiliating and abhorrent. A cheeky shower Palestine into insignificance compared to what you plan to do. You sound like a nasty piece of work

KhallDrogo Sat 26-Jan-13 13:36:20

Pales, pales not Palestine!

HystericalBallads Sat 26-Jan-13 13:37:52

I take on board what people are saying about not putting something unexpected in the shampoo. I don't think I would have ever done that anyway, I just feel so affronted at it all and it was a knee jerk reaction.

If she does have allergies she's been taking a risk using my things though, like some of you have said, there could be something else in there anyway. I might have decanted Alberto Balsam into my Jo Malone bottle and how would she know?

Argh. Obviously I need to confront her, but I'm worried she'll just deny it.

Alfrex, is that you?

Seriously though, you DH and your cleaner are alone together and one/both need a shower before she leaves.. you've got bigger problems here.

HystericalBallads Sat 26-Jan-13 13:42:54

DH hasn't been there whilst she's been cleaning / taking liberties. It was just an idea that he could be at home one day.

MusicalEndorphins Sat 26-Jan-13 13:46:38

No OP, please don't do it. Hair dye could blind her. I think you should just ask her, or try and catch her in the act. A small audio recorder hidden in the bathroom would let you know if someone is using your shower.
Or simply hire someone else and let her go, if you don't trust her.

Pandemoniaa Sat 26-Jan-13 14:02:23

Is she eating the porridge too?

Seriously, I think it is completely bonkers to consider ruining your own, expensive, shampoo by putting hair dye in it. Apart from the sheer waste of money (surely a more costly option than the loss of a little shampoo in the first place?) it would be far more sensible to speak to her directly than it would be to treat her like an errant parlourmaid.

Yogagirl17 Sat 26-Jan-13 14:02:33

I would just do the following:

1)Keep the expensive stuff away out of site

2)Ask the cleaner if she's using it. It doesn't have to be a "confrontation", just say you noticed it was getting used up and wondered if she'd used it for some reason. If you still don't 100% trust her then you have to get a new cleaner. You can't have someone in your home that you don't trust.

diddl Sat 26-Jan-13 14:05:28

Why would she take a shower though-& risk being caught??

The one time I washed my hair whilst nannying the mum came home unexpectedly & "caught" me.

As it was, one of my charges had thrown sand & we all had sand in our hair so I had done all of us.

ThinkAboutItOnBoxingDay Sat 26-Jan-13 14:11:39

My cleaner nicks my cleaning stuff to use at other houses. I keep buying those good microfiber cloths and miracle erasers and they just disappear. I ask her about it and she denies it!

Can't complain though as she is generally lovely and bought DD caviar when we started to wean her!

If you are upset about her using your expensive products why on earth would you then waste them by putting dye in them?!

Dear god, I never realised I'd be so offended by the idea of wasting expensive products! shock

NearMissAgain Sat 26-Jan-13 14:11:59

We fired a cleaner after she drank a bottle of our gin.

Hobbitation Sat 26-Jan-13 14:17:43

I'd arrange to come home one time when she is cleaning.

KhallDrogo Sat 26-Jan-13 14:19:48

Or she might deny it, because sues not doing it! hmm

You just have to fire her. You're not going to believe her anyway, if you ever manage to muster the humility to actually speak to her, that is

omletta Sat 26-Jan-13 14:26:44

I just don't get how you can tell.

Expensive products like that only need a tiny bit.

If you really think that she is stealing from you why would you still have her in your home? It's madness.

I completely trust my cleaner, if I didn't I wouldn't use her.

whiteflame Sat 26-Jan-13 14:33:56

I am a bit baffled by the argument that she's too embarrassed to ask to use the shower. Surely if you're embarrassed to ask, you know it's a bit off and it would be far more embarrassing to actually use it?

WorraLiberty Sat 26-Jan-13 14:36:58

I think you should name change OP

To HystericalBollocks

nickelbabe Sat 26-Jan-13 14:37:45

an easier solution would be to buy a whole load of new cleaning products and put them in a tub in the bathroom.

then point them out to her.

then keep an eye on your stuff - if it keeps going down, think again; if it stops, there's your answer.

HecateWhoopass Sat 26-Jan-13 14:37:47

She wouldn't shower if he was home though, would she?
And pink dye won't really show on dark hair unless it's got bleach in it or something. Brown being darker than pink.

And by far the easiest thing to do is move your stuff out of the bathroom.
If she is using it, it being removed will be a very clear message that she will understand without you having to say a word.
If she's not using it, she won't even notice.

fluffypillow Sat 26-Jan-13 14:44:53

If this seriously bothers you that much, then you may need to think about cleaning your own house (people do you know).

Btw if anyone wants to clean my house in exchange for toiletries that would be great! I can only offer Tresemme and Aussie however..

KhallDrogo Sat 26-Jan-13 14:56:54

If you add hair dye to your wanky shower gel and it turns out she is using it to clean the bath she comes to you and says, look I was cleaning the bath, I always add a bit of tour shower gel to make it smell nice but today its full of red did that happen?

What the hell are you going to say? Oh yeah I was paranoid that you were showering in my house and using my toulwtries, so instead of asking you I filled the bottles with red dye to humiliate toy and teach you a lesson?!

grin hmm

bea Sat 26-Jan-13 15:00:57

For goodness sake... just ask her and be grown up about it! shock

FrankSpenser Sat 26-Jan-13 15:29:07

This thread has me grin
Can't wait to see how this one turns out!

FlouncingMintyy Sat 26-Jan-13 15:31:50

Why are there so many threads about shampoo in Active convos at the moment? confused

HystericalBallads Sat 26-Jan-13 16:17:37

I've already said that I'm not going to put dye in there, so can everybody stop worrying that I'm going to blind the cleaner please!

DH has volunteered to be at home next week when she comes and is going to have a word.

Chandon Sat 26-Jan-13 17:37:16

Yes, I could see how that could work out...he will walk in when she is in the shower and then....

....your problem could be a bit more serious than shampoo!

I had a lady used to come to my house to watch Dd2 when she was an infant.I found out that not only was she showering at my house but she was having her husband and Dc's come round and shower too grin

They had had their heat and hot water cut off as they hadnt paid the bill

Sugarkane Sat 26-Jan-13 18:15:59

Could it be that she is syphoning off the shampoo into a mini bottle and not actually taking a shower at yours?

MrsMushroom Sat 26-Jan-13 18:24:24

Why does dh have to have a word? It's your shampoo...can't you have a word??

OlyRoller Sat 26-Jan-13 18:26:07

Maybe when she cleans the shower she just strips off and washes her hair at the same time?

Take the posh stuff out and replace ir with 27p shampoo

Have to say I only ever clean Tje shower when I'm in it smile and I don't condition

Deflatedballoonbelly Sat 26-Jan-13 18:33:21

Oh god, these threads FILL me with doom! I am a cleaner and I would die of mortifying shame if I thought one of my clients thought I did half of the stuff cleaners do on here... confused

FrankSpenser Sat 26-Jan-13 18:40:05

I only condition my hair, never shampoo it!

I clean my bathroom straight after use when its all steamy and wet (Oo-er Matron grin ) with most times using just a microfibre cloth.

My pennies won't stretch enough for a cleaner. sad

myfirstkitchen Sat 26-Jan-13 18:46:40

Be grateful she's using your shampoo rather than pissing in it.

greeneyed Sat 26-Jan-13 18:59:35

OP I just can't see how you would notice this if she is using the normal amount to wash her hair. Is it a microspic amount below the line?

foreverondiet Sat 26-Jan-13 19:05:37

I would double check with DH and DS first, assuming no confessions need to mention to cleaner - although it wont end well - she will deny. I had similar years ago - I bought veet but didn't like it, but the bottles went down and one day I came home to find veet stains all over house, ruining carpet. I called her and she still denied it.

shebangsthedrum Sat 26-Jan-13 19:09:24

Put a note inside said shampoo which says "ha,caught you. Now get the fuck out of my shower. You're fired."

At which point, having secreted yourself in the airing cupboard, jump out and frogmarch the liberty taking bitch off your property throwing her clothes after her.

Job done.

HystericalBallads Sun 27-Jan-13 09:58:01

I don't believe this

I've just found some of her frizzy unconditioned hairs in the spare bed. She's been napping as well as taking showers. WTF


FrankSpenser Sun 27-Jan-13 10:03:21



NorbertDentressangle Sun 27-Jan-13 10:05:58

Maybe its not just her that's been in the spare bed.

Does she have a boyfriend?Does she have her own place to take a boyfriend or could she be using your place?

cluelesscleaner Sun 27-Jan-13 10:20:26

I know what you mean Deflated - if I read one more thread about the thieving cleaner I'm going to scream!

whiteflame Sun 27-Jan-13 10:22:18


why should she be grateful that she's "only" using her shampoo, not pissing in it?

LadyBeagleEyes Sun 27-Jan-13 10:23:31

Really Op hmm?

So when's the big reveal OP?

Hmm hmm really?

LucieLucie Sun 27-Jan-13 10:26:15

Op have you checked the spare bed sheets for any erm...bodily fluids??
Sorry but my mind would be spinning a million miles an hour saying that something may be going on at home behind my back with dh and cleaner.

Say nothing more to dh and the next time he is working from home and the cleaner is due - come home within the first hour of 'leaving for work' and see what you find.
Either that or install one of those nanny cams in the spare room wink

seeker Sun 27-Jan-13 10:30:46

<sighs for the days she had a cleaner>

This is so a troll terribly funny joke thread.

FelicityWasCold Sun 27-Jan-13 10:38:54

You need a uv detector wink

NoelHeadbands Sun 27-Jan-13 10:50:50

Oh my sides. My sides. Really.

Arithmeticulous Sun 27-Jan-13 10:51:45

I was going to come and make a very (if I may say so) valid point about viscosity of liquids and about weight being a more accurate measure than a line on the side of an unsettled bottle.... but I can't do hairy science. You need CCTV. Either there's social issues or she's nobbing your DS/DH.

DeafLeopard Sun 27-Jan-13 10:56:12

Arf at Felicity

valiumredhead Sun 27-Jan-13 11:00:41

What a load of utter bollox! The hairs are probably from when she changed the sheets.

HazeltheMcWitch Sun 27-Jan-13 11:08:41

I could never be a cleaner. I shed hair like an old moulting dog. A suspicious mind would think that I was either one of the 3 bears, trying out all the beds, or shagging everyone in the house.
Plus I am a slattern so would not stay employed for long.

Chandon Sun 27-Jan-13 11:12:55

Ah...just read about the hair,...

One of THOSE threads again.

I really should consider leaving this site, instead of getting sucked into all this nonsense.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee Sun 27-Jan-13 11:17:32


FutTheShuckUp Sun 27-Jan-13 11:49:51

Load of boswellox

Sallyingforth Sun 27-Jan-13 12:17:56

shampoo or shampost?

HecateWhoopass Sun 27-Jan-13 13:48:12

Really? how shocking. This is dreadful. you must be terribly shocked at this real thing that is happening to you.

What will you find next?

Pubes in the butter dish?

Coconutty Sun 27-Jan-13 13:54:39

I think you should put bleach into the pots and see if she turns up next time with 'homemade' highlights.

HecateWhoopass Sun 27-Jan-13 13:58:49

I think you should confide in her that you've got crabs and are going to have to burn your bedding because it's CRAWLING with them.

Is that how you tell an elephant's been playing with himself in your fridge?

wigglybeezer Sun 27-Jan-13 14:20:39

My friend found her cleaner asleep in her bed once. She didn't fire her as she had been cleaning and babysitting for so many years, but it was very awkward.

Nancy66 Sun 27-Jan-13 14:28:59

when I was much younger I used to rent a bedsit in a some scabby house that had been divided up into about seven bedsits.

The landlord used to let himself into whichever one he knew was empty and shag hookers in there.

BitBewildered Sun 27-Jan-13 14:58:35

shock Nancy! That's disgusting!

Have you checked your butter dish OP?

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