Mumsnet Talk

Me and my ex split up about 2 years ago, and have managed to remain on good terms. We have a DD together.

He mentioned that he had met somebody last week and they are now in a relationship on Facebook. He has since added a lot of her friends and one of her friends commented saying "nice to see you all loved up"

It's up to him if he choses to be in a relationship so quickly after meeting her, but I am worried that with publicly declaring their relationship and having people say "loved up" - surely people cannot be loved up after being in a new relationship for a week!

That he will want to introduce her to our daughter. I don't mind her being introduced after a couple of months, which is a rule I follow myself.

I thought it was a term used for the first flush of romance. I've never heard it used about a relationship of more than a year.

What about after a week?

Yes I've heard it said after a day. I can't really see why you are concerned about other people using the term anyway tbh.

Does his name begin with D by any chance

Are you sure they only met last week? I only ask becausey ex told me his new relationship was much newer than it actually was. Apparently this was to spare my feelings because they were actually together not long after we split. Just a thought. I think it is odd that people would declare themselves in a "relationship" at all after just a week but then maybe I am just old?!

What does it matter? He isn't forcing your DD on her and is keeping to your agreement. That should be your only concern!

I thought "loved up" was a euphemism for "we've slept together"?

I thought "loved up" was used in those first few weeks of constant sex, not bothering to eat, thinking each other is just gorgeous all the time. I think you might be overthinking it.

You are confusing the phrase 'loved up' with actually being in love. They are not the same thing.

People use loved up to mean that smiley happy feeling you get when you first meet someone and are a bit obsessed with them.

You split up two years ago. This seems like a reasonable time to have a girlfriend. Sometimes you know someone for ages first, sometimes you start dating them straight away. There's no "rule".

'A couple of months' seriously? Slack

Loved up is not in love.

the only rule is when he introduces new woman to daughter.

Everything elsee is just fluff.

I thought loved up was all touchy feely?

Oh it just means they sat on a bench together eating fish and chips out newspaper in my experience, not something to worry about. I do like these funny hats

YouOldSlag
You split up two years ago. This seems like a reasonable time to have a girlfriend

I'm not sure where I said he shouldn't have a girlfriend?

I don't mind that he's seeing someone, it just worries how fast things seem to be going, adding her friends, publicly saying they are together, her friend saying they are loved up. Because I think it will obviously mean they will be serious about each other fast and I don't want her introduced to my DD until they've been together awhile.

Would it upset you if he was in love with this woman? (taking your daughter out of the equation)

Maybe they have been seeing each other a while and he has only just told you?

Hillary how long do you leave it before introducing your new boy or girlfriends?

To me "loved up" means

a) being under the effects of MDAM or

b) being in the first giddy flush of a relationship

Hilary you're over here too, how funny to meet up again in a different place! Sorry everyone else, carry on, as you were.

presumably your dd is also his dd so unfortunately its got very little to do with you when he chooses to introduce them. you will have to trust his judgement on that. also their relationship is none of your business.

How old is he?

loved up = shagging
nothing more

Yeah, 'loved-up' refers to the first-fush, honeymoon period.

But I can understand why you mint be a bit worried about how quickly it's moving and when your DD might be brought into it.

Was slightly perplexed by 'MDAM', but figured it out eventually.

Loved up is used to describe a new couple who are obviously enjoying each other. I have seen similar on fb of my own mates.
It does not mean 'in love'.

I hope that helps to quell your worries.

Yes thank you for making me see sense, I got the wrong idea.

I just worry that it will be so serious and then fizzle out into nothing when my DD had been brought into it, as it would be so confusing for her

I'd just block him on fb. Then you'll never know and never have to worry about it

Then deal with issues with her meeting dd as and when they arise.

CityofAngles, Id worry about the same thing re introductions of new partners. But like others have explained (and you've said ^^) its just a saying.

If you're anxious (understandably!) about introductions, then talk it through with him. If hes a good dad he'll be just as anxious about new males (your bf's) in your DD's life.

Good luck.

I would think that if they are announcing their relationship on Facebook for everybody to see, they have probably been seeing each other, or at least dating, for a while.

I can't help thinking you sound as though your nose has been put out of joint a bit here.

OK so it's been 2yrs since you split...but I still get the impression you're a tad put out about it and are grasping at straws - ie the 'loved up' phrase and your DD to cover it.

Flick him off your friend list and try to take a step back.

I thought "loved up" was a rave/ecstasy users' expression. <non-plussed>

I agree - they have probably been seeing each other for ages and have just gone public. Best advice would be to get off that nightmare that is FB.

loved up = maulling, groping and tonguing each other in public. Usually , but not exlusive behaviour, displayed by teenagers.

How old is your Ex?

Same as CountryKitten (wishes could follow own advice)

Worra-that was my first thought too.

I wouldn't worry about him introducing her to your daughter yet,you make no mention of him even suggesting it.

I think you should re-think your rule of introducing your partners to your dd after 2 months though.That seems way too quick for me.

People fall in love very quickly and intensely, so they may well be 'loved up'. But whether new lady should see your DD is a completely separate issue, and you're entitled to wait until you're convinced they're a safe long-term bet before you allow your DD to be introduced.

I see this as another Facebook is bad for you story. Best thing to do is go cold turkey

So you don't mind they are in a relationship yet you do mind he is adding her friends on fb and that someone posted they are loved up!! Are you stalking him on the net? Checking his added friends daily?

Sorry but you sound like you do mind and you are being really irrational.

You need to accept that who he adds on fb, what his relationship status is and how "loved up" he is is none of your business.

Stop the fb stalking.

loved up means shagging like bunnies.