AIBU in thinking I can't wait until my DD is an adult with her own home so I can visit (Lighthearted

(45 Posts)
itsallinmyhead Thu 24-Jan-13 21:20:52

So am I an unreasonable mother?

I cannot wait until my DD (14) is grown and running a household so that I can visit to steal borrow her expensive makeup, hair straighteners, eat all the treats and leave the packets in the cupboard and look at her like she's daft whenever she protests?

I love her but by all that's good in the world she is infuriating! grin

It can't just be me, can it?

WhatEverItIsIDidntDoIt Thu 24-Jan-13 21:30:45

This actually make me grin

YADNBU I can't wait to do the same.

JessicaMLH Thu 24-Jan-13 21:31:57

YANBU, but my DP still raids his parents cupboards like a 15 year old when we go there, so maybe don't get your hopes up grin

HKat Thu 24-Jan-13 21:40:50

YANBU, I remember my dad walking into the first place I moved into on my own and turning every single light on .x. revenge, he called it smile

SellotapeInMyHairExtensions Thu 24-Jan-13 21:46:57

I'm going to visit my children at 5am and jump up and down on the bed until they get up.

DeafLeopard Thu 24-Jan-13 21:49:57

Yep, walk in, turn tv on loudly, ask what is for dinner, for £20 and a lift into town

itsallinmyhead Thu 24-Jan-13 21:51:48

I knew I couldn't be alone!

The most infuriating thing is that I buy her quite decent makeup! She has a few sets of decent hair straighteners! She isn't banned from the snack cupboard! BUT she prefers my belongings or uses her makeup, perfume, deodorant etc. at triple the speed anyone else does and instead of saying she's run out (& I have mentioned that its not a problem to restock if I know) she helps herself to my things.

I'll be changing the locks when she leaves so she can't come and help herself haha! wink

LetsFaceTheMusicAndDance Thu 24-Jan-13 21:57:47

YANBU - I will be pissing on the sofa, scribbling on the white kitchen floor and every appliance I can find with a black crayon and hiding important things like the TV remote and car keys and giggling very loudly whilst forgetting where they are.

Revenge is a dish best served cold - so look out DS1 grin

impty Thu 24-Jan-13 22:01:31

Oh me too grin I tell mine I will move in just to get my revengegrin wink

HollyBerryBush Thu 24-Jan-13 22:08:35

I cant wait until I'm senile and get wheeled out for Christmas
Mwhahahahaha - they think they will shove me in a corner with the cooking sherry ... oh no!

I shall jump on their furniture, piss on the carpet, leave skidders in the toilet, then take every towel out of the airing cupboard, dry my hands once and dump in the bath. THEN!!!! oh yes THEN!!!I shall go dipso with a marker pen and randomly decorate the carpet with peas.

And I shall ask to come back next week as well grin

itsallinmyhead Thu 24-Jan-13 22:13:55

grinwinkgrin HollyBerryBush

Oh we also have issues with using every towel from the airing cupboard as well as the bloody hand towel in the bathroom being used to clean off makeup AND put back shock

I also have a self cleaning bath...well it must be cos she never cleans it when she's done!

RedPencils Thu 24-Jan-13 22:22:46

I shall take 5 changes of clothes with me and change every half hour throwing discarded clothes into the middle of the floor.
Every sentence will start with 'can I have.'
I shall turn every light on in the house
I will clean the mud of my shoes with the handtowel in the bathroom and then put it back
It goes without saying, that I won't be flushing the toilet after use as well

I tell my DS (who is 13 yo and my PFB) that when he's a fireman (which is his lifelong career choice)- he will have to look after me on his non-shift days.
Carry me to the bathroom
Carry me downstairs and take me out in my chair (like I did with him in his pram)
I'll fall asleep with dribble coming out of my mouth then wake up just when we get home.
Demand drinks at random times and reject all his food.
Demand his immediate attention when he tries to go to the toilet.

And wake him at 3am for a chat grin

I'm going to throw quinoa on the floor and laugh.

FreePeaceSweet Thu 24-Jan-13 22:37:43

I'm going to ask for a drink every 20 minutes.
I'm going to spill the drink on the floor.
I'm going to put a cushion from the couch over it and stand on it.
I'm going to appear at the living room door with my knickers round my ankles, a wad of toilet paper in hand and ask them to wipe my bum. Only if they have visitors.
When they're cooking I'll say with a sneer "Whats that?" then I'll say UGH!
I'll post the sky card down the cracks in the floor.
I'll demand preferential treatment for eating more than half of what I'm given.
I'll lick the fake coal in the fireplace and make kiss marks on the white walls.
I'm going to cry or fling myself on the floor for being ignored for 2 minutes.

RedPencils Thu 24-Jan-13 22:43:09

Oh yes, 70. I shall be visiting in the middle of the night, to discuss Dr who and Minecraft at length.

FreePeaceSweet Thu 24-Jan-13 22:46:26

I'm going to play with the noisiest toy I can find, right outside their bedroom door. Around 6.30 on a Saturday morning should do it. grin

In fact the first time they get annoyed about being woken in the morning (around ages 10 or 11?) I'm going to do this.

magimedi Thu 24-Jan-13 22:56:44

When your DCs reach teenage & can sleep for ever, the joy of waking them up & persisting until they get up never, ever, diminishes!

Salmotrutta Thu 24-Jan-13 22:59:11

I have already done all of the above ....

Numbthumbs Thu 24-Jan-13 23:56:36

I love this thread smile

Whenever my mom makes a brew at my house she purposefully leaves the milk out and whenever my dad does he leaves the tea bag on the draining board instead of putting it in the bin. Every single time. They snigger and laugh and call it their revenge. (I do sometimes offer to make the tea myself of course(grin))

Greenkit Fri 25-Jan-13 00:00:46

When my kids have their own home I shall......

Walk in the house with muddy shoes and sit on the sofa saying 'what'

Have a great big poo in the loo and leave it

Leave plates and wrappers all round the house

Drink all the milk and not tell anyone

Eat all the bread and not tell anyone

Spray drink all up the wall and leave it

Oh I will have so much fun grin

itsallinmyhead Fri 25-Jan-13 00:10:23

You are all reminding me of further gems to add to my 'to do list'!

Right now DC2 (7week old son) refuses to believe it's bedtime. I can't wait to return the favour grin

ihearsounds Fri 25-Jan-13 00:16:09

I'm going to leave a drop of milk in the carton. A drop of juice in the carton. A quarter of a biscuit. Leave all the lights on. Pick up the remote and randomly flick through the channels when they were watching something. Leave toothpaste in the sink. Leave wrappers, plates, cups and clothes in random places. Chuck wet loo roll on the ceiling. Draw everywhere. Ask for money. Ask why and sulk a lot. Slam doors. Stomp up and down stairs. Put sticky handprints everywhere, especially on the tv and windows. Smear makeup all over the bathroom. Spray all the deodorants and perfumes so it smells like boots. Fart loads. Loose lots of things, including my own bus pass, insist I put it somewhere I hadn't. Wake them up randomly. Take hours for them to wake me up and take even longer to get ready.. Say not bothered to everything, and have a massive sulk because its not what I wanted. Smother my food in ketchup, smear it around and leave it because there's too much ketchup.

But I'm going to have a long wait. They don't want to leave. Not even for uni, staying here to reduce costs.

ihearsounds Fri 25-Jan-13 00:17:53

Go out wearing bright pink leggings, with a brown top, odd socks, tiara, wings and make up like a 5 year old has applied.
Go out with hair that looks like it hasn't seen a brush in years.

Monty27 Fri 25-Jan-13 00:19:02

I'm going to dump my bag in the middle of her dining room, together with shoes in the 'gangway' so she trips.

Take food in her front room and leave dishes at my feet.

Have a shower and leave the plug hole full of hair.

Pinch her clothes, make-up and perfume.

Ask her to go shopping and lie in bed all day and make her wait for me.


I lover her dearly tho (she's 19 smile)

MumofWombat Fri 25-Jan-13 00:19:22

I shall refuse food without trying it, even though I ate it all up last week.
I shall insist on drinking their drinks not mine when out in cafes/restaurants.
I shall have a tantrum if they are on a call on the phone because I obviously will want to play on it then.
I shall be totally adorable when it's been arranged for someone to 'mumsit' so no-one believes that I have a whole other evil side....

itsallinmyhead Fri 25-Jan-13 00:59:02

I shall also; roll my eyes at absolutely everything she says, mess around 'click click clicking' on my blackberry even after she tells me the noise goes through her and politely suggests I do the BBM thing I'm another room, blame her for everything that I can't find and purposefully pull holes in all of my tights because its common knowledge she owns shares in Lycra!

Monty27 Fri 25-Jan-13 01:05:13

Complain there's no food and then continue to snack just before she's cooked me a meal.

Greenkit Fri 25-Jan-13 04:33:53

When I am an old woman, I shall wear purple

with a red hat that doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

and satin candles, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I am tired

and gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

and run my stick along the public railings

and make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

and pick the flowers in other people's gardens

and learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

and eat three pounds of sausages at a go

or only bread and pickles for a week

and hoard pens and pencils and beer nuts and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

and pay our rent and not swear in the street

and set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

My mum should do everything on this list and maybe tread some bronzer into the carpet too. Instead she comes round and helps me clean, does some of my washing when it gets too much, brings me meals when I'm too tired to cook and looks after the dc so dh and I can go out for a drink or meal together. If I go to her house she looks after me and dc, sends me for a sleep and feeds us all.

I love my mum and want to be just like her when I'm older.

littlewhitebag Fri 25-Jan-13 06:46:01

I am going to take all the glasses into my bedroom half filled with juice or water.

I am going to paint my nails bright blue when sitting on the new sofa.

I am going to ask when tea is then eat chocolate because 15 minutes is too long to wait.

I am going to leave all the lights on then huff and sigh when asked to put them off.

I am going to leave all my dirty underwear on the bathroom floor.

I am going to splatter mascara and toothpaste on the bathroom mirror.

mademred Fri 25-Jan-13 15:40:11

I am going to borrow all their good DVDs and cds and loose them or scratch them
im going to wear my shoes on all their nice carpets and put my feet up on the sofa with my shoes on
I'm going to use every drop of shampoo and conditioner and not tell them
I'm going to wash the dishes, badly so they don't ask me again
I'm going to use at least half a bottle of washing up liquid when I do the washing up
I'm going to put one item in the tumble dryer and leave on for at least an hour
I am going to borrow their computer and download lots of rubbish to fill it
And I am going to cook them a lovely meal and leave as many dirty dishes I can after I have burnt the best saucepans and put them back on the shelf.

Pandemoniaa Fri 25-Jan-13 15:48:31

My children are 30 and 31. I am remarkably amused by their tidiness given the hellholes that used to be their bedrooms at 14. Clearly I am no longer alone in having the unreasonable and bourgeois obsession about cleanliness that I had back then.

I cannot tell you how tempted I am to walk into their homes, fling open the doors to their fridges and wail "Why is there never any food in this house?" though.

Plomino Fri 25-Jan-13 15:51:46

Oh yes .

I have plans to leave their loos unflushed . For days . To use up entire loaves to make toast , whilst leaving copious quantities of butter jam and marmite smeared on the worktops.

To drop sugar everywhere and get it wet so it dries like concrete .

To pour an entire bottle of cough medicine into their two day old carpet .

To colour in the bars of their radiators in a rainbow selection of crayons . Then turn the heating on to bake it.

To use every loo roll . To use every towel and leave them all in artistic piles under each bed .

To use every cup , bowl and plate to eat Weetabix , and then hide them under the bed for days , so even the dishwasher can't get the stuff off .

Can you tell I've planned this ?

WilsonFrickett Fri 25-Jan-13 15:57:26

I am going to get a job lot of teeny-tiny lego bits of ebay. I mean tiny bits. And then I'm going to go and scatter them liberally in DS carpet. I'll even buy him a carpet. I'm also going to get an entire M&S-worth of pajamas and leave them on the floor.
Then I'm going to wait till 3am and creep into his room, put my mouth to his ear and whisper 'Iwannacuddlescarydinosaurcamebutitwassntadinosauritwasacat'. actually I probably will do anything for a cuddle by that point so I probably will do that one

FreePeaceSweet Fri 25-Jan-13 17:00:13

Ooh Plomino I'm so doing this To colour in the bars of their radiators in a rainbow selection of crayons . Then turn the heating on to bake it.

I'm also including the slats on any louvre doors or shutters they may have.

fengirl1 Fri 25-Jan-13 17:27:52

All of the above... Then brush my waist length hair and clean the brush, dropping the hair on to the floor as I go, leave cotton buds in random places and wash my heavily made up face with her white flannel!

PoppyWearer Fri 25-Jan-13 17:40:18

When my DCs pick me up from the nursing home, I am going to demand chocolate from them before even saying "hello" and then if none is forthcoming have a tantrum and refuse to get in the car.

I am going to "plank" every time they try to lift me into a wheelchair.

And soil myself and my clothes every time we are due to be somewhere in a hurry.

See how they like it. grin

WadingThroughTreacle Fri 25-Jan-13 17:40:35

I'm going to go in their room at 6am and announce, I want to get up!

brighthair Fri 25-Jan-13 18:05:07

My Mum does it now sad
She comes round, turns the heating up, switches every light on, changes tv channels, demands brew or wine and rummages for food
I follow her round switching lights off. When I aske her what she was doing, she said "getting my own back"

freddiefrog Fri 25-Jan-13 18:13:02


My DD is 11 and I'll be visiting so I can chuck wrappers all over the floor, leave wet towels strewn all over her house, raid the biscuit tin, leave millions of half drunk glasses of water all over her house, hog her TV with the crap I want to watch, put empty bottles of ketchup back in the fridge and chuck a tantrum when she runs out of wheetos

PoppyWearer Fri 25-Jan-13 18:15:19

Is this why my parents pretend they can't hear what I'm saying and make me repeat myself five times?

<narrows eyes at DPs>

thebody Fri 25-Jan-13 18:22:25

Op you know my dds...

All of the above. My dd 13 told me to chill today as she was painting her toe nails bright red sitting on the brand new pale yellow sofa.!!!!

freddiefrog Fri 25-Jan-13 18:28:20

Oh, the more I think about it, the more fun I'm going to have

Tip contraband bright pink nail varnish into her carpets
Pick my nose and wipe the bogies on the wall
Empty out her junk drawers and leave the crap out everywhere
Take a hamster with me, get fed up with being woken in the night by it and dump it in her bedroom
Stash my dirty socks under the bed
Climb all over her work tops while rummaging in her cupboards while moaning than I'm hungry and reject everything she offers me
Take a bite out of every apple in the fruit bowl

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