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To think that soaps *Corrie*, don't really help the cause-DV

(51 Posts)
sparklyjumper Wed 23-Jan-13 20:21:41

I know it's not real, not everyone watches/believes. But a lot of people do believe these storylines come from real life, are some quite damaging?

The recent Kirsty/Tyrone storyline. Ok so take a real issue, DV against men, then go totally over the top and abusive women pretends to be the victim resulting in abused man being arrested and baby being removed by SS.

A few years ago the Tracey Barlow storyline where she faked DV to kill her boyfriend because he'd cheated on her.

Isn't there always enough of a problem with women not being believed/being afraid to report? Isn't there already enough speculation and media attention on women apparently making up DV as a spiteful tactic to use their children as a weapon?

Wouldn't mind so much if there was a disclaimer at the end stating that it is purely mindless weekday drivel, but they actually claim to be raising awareness of real issues, and people actually believe this shit.

Sallyingforth Wed 23-Jan-13 20:27:01

<yawn>
It's not meant to be educational.

nefertarii Wed 23-Jan-13 20:52:28

You want a disclaimer saying its not real?

HugeLaurie Wed 23-Jan-13 20:53:18

I think that a better idea would have been to show her pushing him down the stairs and that she was then arrested. Why do soaps have to twist and turn storylines all of the time. The three examples I can think of in Corrie were dealt with in a ridiculous way.

1. Alan Bradley - Killed by a tram.
2. Tracey Barlow - as you have mentioned. Tracy lied about being abused.
3. Tyrone has now been arrested because Kirsty has lied.

Oh and in Eastenders Trevor was killed in a fire and in Brookside Trevor Jordache was buried under the patio.

In the real world either it doesn't get reported at all, the victim is killed, the abuser is arrested and let out after a couple of hours or, in my case, he was arrested (after threatening to put a bullet in my head) and then bailed without the police telling me he was out.

Yes, it's just a soap. But soaps are very popular and this story line could have been used to educate people about DV.

shesariver Wed 23-Jan-13 20:54:43

YABU. Men are victims as you acknowledged so why cant women be manipulative. Or do women have to be portrayed as saints hmm

sparklyjumper Wed 23-Jan-13 20:56:55

But, you only have to listen to office chat to realise that people actually watch these things and actually believe it's based on true life.

The same way as DM and The Sun are damaging, the same way people believe what they read in gossip magazines.

NippyDrips Wed 23-Jan-13 20:57:27

I agree, I would have preferred tyrone to report Kirsty, her be convicted and Tyrone get Ruby. Or Ty escape to a shelter or something more realistic, to show people what help and support is available.

AuntieStella Wed 23-Jan-13 20:59:09

The problem with the storyline is the over-ebbing of the denouement.

The portrayal of Kirsty (including the references to childhood abuse) and the insidious creeping of DV into the relationship with Tyrone did show her as flawed, manipulative and increasingly dangerous. He potential danger to stunt was chillingly alluded too as well.

Then it all turned into pantomime; probably around the time when Tyrone began his affair.

sparklyjumper Wed 23-Jan-13 20:59:45

Exactly Nippy and HugeLaurie.

Shesariver, not I don't expect women to be portrayed as saints. But to me it's similiar to the way certain popular newpapers almost daily print stories of 'false' rape accusations and use headlines like 'she cried rape'. But mention nothing of all the rapes which go unreported and unconvicted.

AuntieStella Wed 23-Jan-13 21:00:06

"over-egging" (DYAC)

AuntieStella Wed 23-Jan-13 21:00:46

And "stunt" should say "Ruby"

BertieBotts Germany Wed 23-Jan-13 21:01:41

The Little Mo storyline a few years ago on Eastenders was fantastic for DV awareness IIRC. And Coronation Street handled Maria's rape storyline very well recently too. So it's not all bad.

WhoWhatWhereWhen Wed 23-Jan-13 21:02:04

The story shows the man not being believed by anyone who hasn't seen the bruises, ime that is very accurate

AuntieStella Wed 23-Jan-13 21:08:29

Maria wasn't raped. You mean Carla.

shesariver Wed 23-Jan-13 21:22:33

I think it is more about the man not being believed at the moment as whowhat has said, which is generally true.

HugeLaurie Wed 23-Jan-13 21:24:12

Didn't Carla's rapist get off? And get killed afterwards? Yet again, the woman in this soap land scenario is portrayed as a liar.

HollyBerryBush Wed 23-Jan-13 21:29:49

The Wilmott Brown rape story line did marvels for woemn, being believed and being able to go to court and know they will be believed.

Soaps are supposed to reflect real life, or portray it - there have been some stunning storylines that people can/have identified with. Be it death, birth, cot death, kidnap, conmen/women, murder - DV is no differenet. I dare say some men out htere will identify with it because they are men in the same situation. Some women (and men I suppose) will poo-hoo it because they don't think it believeable. Little known subjects should be brought to the fore.

Having a male friend in a male DV situation, I'm well aware of the devious lengths his wife went to. You only have to read the Relationships board, there was one the other week where a woman attacked her husband (and posted about it) and because she was sober and he was merry, she called the police and had him arrested - it was a god awful thread - one where you just knew the woman was a psychotic schemer, abuser, controller. And she admitted it too. And it wasn't a spoof.

NippyDrips Wed 23-Jan-13 21:29:51

I think t is send out the message to victims of dv, especially men that there is no help out there so what is the point in trying to change it.

I agree it started in a good and realistic way but this outcome is just damaging and making a farce of it. Hopefully they will see sense and sort it out.

It's very interesting. My DP went through similar.his Ex W is very controlling and manipulative. The last time she assaulted him verbally and physically she rang the police claiming to be a victim of DV. He had the whole incident recorded on his iPhone. It's very scary and violent.although she later got arrested too she wasn't charged. I truely believe if a man did to a woman what she did to him they'd have been up before a court. she would ring up DV advice lines etc.. Claiming to be a victim. He's been given no support.

SigmundFraude Wed 23-Jan-13 21:35:53

'Or Ty escape to a shelter or something more realistic, to show people what help and support is available.'

He'd be lucky, there is next to no support available for men. Unfortunately, female on male DV is dismissed, despite being common....treated as a joke or not believed. You only have to read some comments on here to see that.

Binfullofresolutionsfor10thjan Wed 23-Jan-13 21:55:50

We have a family friend who is going through dv with his partner. He has been to a lawyer in this country, and they have told him to marry his partner to gain equal rights in custody of the children. It isn't as far fetched as you'd think.

He turned up at our door with his 2 ds one night because she'd gotten violent with him and he didn't want the kids to be left there as she was very drunk. She was threatening to call the police and say he/we'd kidnapped the boys. He is really trapped and she is refusing to admit that she needs help. It's very sad for all involved.

NippyDrips Wed 23-Jan-13 22:35:53

That is really depressing. It's so wrong that men have no support.

I hope they have a happy outcome for Tyrone though or it is just reinforcing that there is no point in reporting etc.

I've only just started watching Corrie for this very reason. Kirsty is a very accurate portrail IME of how women can be so very evil..... Obviously my DH has never abducted my DSS but there are times when you think...would they be any worse off for actually doing that...

Five years, false accusations, £20k solicitors costs. Now we are getting somewhere where we should be.

I can't believe the only up to date threads from the advanced searce I've found about this are: this one and the one (albeit confused one) I started last week.

Hmmm.

Would appreciate back up from those in the same situation.

squeakytoy Thu 14-Feb-13 01:31:55

I think it has been portrayed very accurately in that many if not almost all men would be very reluctant to admit to anyone what has been going on.

sparklyjumper Thu 14-Feb-13 07:35:00

Actually I think most people here have entirely missed the point I was trying to make. And my point was that actually I don't believe that most women lie. They should just throw in a good old false rape accusation for good measure.

Sirzy Thu 14-Feb-13 07:42:37

The woman who is abusing making out it is her husband doing the abusing unfortunately does happen.

However, the storyline now seems to have gone to far and like most big soap storylines has been stretched out to far. I just hope they show a proper resolution of it.

valiumredhead Thu 14-Feb-13 08:39:26

But, you only have to listen to office chat to realise that people actually watch these things and actually believe it's based on true life

You work with people who think soaps are real? grin The problem is with them not Corrie writers! wink

Sparkly: "I don't believe that most women lie"

Really?

rainbow2000 Thu 14-Feb-13 08:57:11

Faircity had this storyline about 2 years ago.And they did it much more believable.

The wife was the abuser and she tried to turn it on her husband.She was arrested and went to counselling.

Corrie started out really well and now its just gone crap,poor Tyrone but he should have had his injuries photographed and put somewhere safe.

FreudiansSlipper Thu 14-Feb-13 09:08:07

It highlights that perpetrators do manipulate and often press charges too both men and women

that is why when looking at dv rates you need to real the full reports and stats

There is not enough support for all victims of ds, awareness that men can be victims too but to say there is no support is not true just not enough

My frustration was that Tyrone was given incorrect advise (thanks to thick Fiz) about PR and because of this did not report at the time that it was happening.

The rest i felt was realistic, having dealt with male victims of DV and having to deal with collegues, who should know better, treating it as a joke.

I hope that in the end, it is explained to Tyrone what his options were, so that people are informed, about the options that male victims have.

I do think that all of the storylines that are connected to Fiz are more like a bad panto, though. That needs to stop, she cannot be that stupid.

What I don't understand is this whole storyline exploded because Ty wasn't on the birth certificate.

Could he not have not married her, then applied to have a DNA test through the courts or on Jeremy Kyle?

Then he would have had access to Ruby, in just the way he was hoping to by marrying Kirstie.

I don't whether that's possible, but surely it would be?

I think the mother has to give consent for the DNA test to happen and there is no way that Kirsty would ever agree to that

jontybabe Thu 14-Feb-13 16:54:10

I often work with victims of DV, both men and women. Men are rarely believed and often ridiculed for not 'hitting her back'. I've heard men called wimps and laughed at! Do we do this to female victims of DV? I think Corrie should tackle this issue. An abuser is manipulative and scheming. Doesn't matter whether its a man or woman.

Ah, I didn't know that rubberbullets.

It's so sad not to have had a positive outcome for Ty. Corrie is following in Eastenders' misery footsteps. I've stopped watching EE as it depressed me so much!

OldLadyKnowsNothing Thu 14-Feb-13 17:25:59

Couldn't Ty get a Court Order for a DNA test?

Sounds like he couldn't?

Or even swab her himself using those kits and send it off, he looked after her all day - or would that not stand up in court?

<realises is irrelevant fretting about this now!>

OldLadyKnowsNothing Thu 14-Feb-13 17:35:13

Well, in RL, a mother can say to the CSA, "Ty is the father of my baby but he's not on the birth cert." And the CSA would say to Ty, "Do you accept that you are the dad?" Ty would then say "Yes", and pay up, or "No." And if he said no, he would be ordered by Court to co-operate.

Don't see why it shouldn't work the other way round, but I'm no lawyer (and soap law isn't always Real Law anyway.)

Nor me!

I'm getting far too invested in the whys and wherefores before the wedding when the whole plot kicked off OldLady!

It's all water under the bridge now I guess...

I think I may hate soaps actually grin

YouOldSlag Fri 15-Feb-13 10:54:36

What this has highlighted for me is that sometimes some motehrs have too MANY rights. Kirsty kept Ty's name off the birth cert and yet only she can give consent for a DNA test. She has all the power including the power to deprive him of his daughter forever.

No ONE parent should have that much power unless there is a risk of harm. Oh and there's the irony I was looking for...

Thewhingingdefective Fri 15-Feb-13 10:59:47

YABU. It's a soap opera, not a documentary. Since when have soaps ever accurately reflected reality? The number of murders and deaths in Albert Square and on Coronation Street are ludicrous.

Surely anyone with a brain knows that both males and females can be victims of domestic abuse and can see that the silly twists in the story on Corrie are there only for dramatic effect...can't they?

EssexGurl Fri 15-Feb-13 13:20:50

I think one of the issues is that she was in the police so she knows every trick in the book and poor Tyrone, bless him, is not the sharpest tool in the box. So, she will have the upper hand.

From reports I've read, the number of men contacting DV helplines has virtually doubled since the story started. Surely, that has got to be a good thing?

matana Fri 15-Feb-13 13:37:51

I kind of see where you're coming from OP, though i think what concerns me more is the portrayal of the police (and social workers actually!) in all soaps as being unsympathetic, unskilled, lacking empathy, understanding, and social skills etc. Also the fact that getting victims of abuse to come forward is hard enough without soaps running story lines that suggest, when they do come forward, they'll either be ridiculed or called a liar.

I was astounded to find out recently that there were 2 million victims of domestic abuse in the UK last year (admittedly many of these will have been repeat victims), but i was truly staggered to learn that 800,000 of them were men! Not the minority we're all led to believe. I work for a police force that has done a huge amount of work getting people who are suffering domestic abuse to come forward and report it.

Good on Corrie for bringing attention to the subject, but poor show that it had to descend into a storyline that further victimises the poor victim. People do watch these things on TV and while they know they're not real they do believe that they're an accurate reflection of what is going on in society. I would hate people to think that in reporting abuse of any kind they'll be subjected to further abuse and disbelief at the hands of the authorities.

MarmaladeTwatkins Fri 15-Feb-13 13:37:59

"But, you only have to listen to office chat to realise that people actually watch these things and actually believe it's based on true life."

I think that you should take issue with people that are this^ thick then. Soap writers don't exactly have a duty to water down stories (stories, that is what they are) in case Doreen and Brenda by the watercooler confuse them with real life.

I suppose it does happen, though. The girl that plays Kirsty says that she gets abuse in the street off twats viewers who think that she really beats Alan Halsall with a hoover extension.

YouOldSlag Fri 15-Feb-13 18:06:04

matana- excellent post and shocking stats there.

Corrie is doing what it did with Carla's rape storyline i,e deterring rape/ domestic abuse victims from ever reporting it and encouraging them to keep it to themselves. Nice job Corrie. Well done.

Fairygen Fri 15-Feb-13 18:53:49

Unfortunately the soaps are on our tv's for entertainment purposes. I think it's great that they tackle difficult issues, some better than others admittedly.

The ty storyline, I felt, was really well written. The Kirsty character alienated him from his friends and slowly chipped away at his confidence and self respect, both verbally and physically.Of course the fair outcome would be Kirsty getting caught out, Ty and Ruby living happily with Fiz ( God help him!). But this is soap land so there had to be a twist!

The bad guy rarely wins on a soap in the end.

People are talking about male DV so surely that's a good thing, making sure those who do come forward are believed is essential!

It wasn't so long ago that female DV was considered a 'domestic' issue and very few helped or listened, if the same can be done for men, less men will live in fear

How? Corrie have made a start....

SigmundFraude Fri 15-Feb-13 21:57:25

'Actually I think most people here have entirely missed the point I was trying to make. And my point was that actually I don't believe that most women lie'.

Why do you think that?

LineRunner Sat 16-Feb-13 00:19:47

Most repeat victims of DV are women.

whiteandyelloworchid Sat 16-Feb-13 11:16:40

yes ive thought this, not exactly going to encourage someone to come forward about dv

perhaps the writers, started off with good intentions then it spirled into crazy crazy silly stuff like tyrone abducting the baby and ending up in prison

BoneyBackJefferson Sun 17-Feb-13 12:52:32

LineRunner
"Most repeat victims of DV are women."

Until extensive research is done into male victims of DV we won't know just how many men are repeat victims of DV.

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