To want dc2 to be summerborn for financial reasons?

(106 Posts)
hellohellohihi Wed 23-Jan-13 18:49:04

Obviously I know you can't plan these things too too much, but if our next baby is born in July or August 2014:

- my bonus will be included in my mat pay calcs

- dd will be almost 3 and will get funded childcare places so her nursery costs will be lower, minimizing the cost whilst I'm in mat pay.

- by the time dc2 goes to nursery dd will still have a years worth of funding

- dc2 will require a year less childcare due to being one of the youngest in the year

Am I being naive/foolish for crossing my fingers for this?? Obviously this is based on numerous assumptions but I just wondered if I'm the only one who tries to "engineer" their pregnancies to maximise their financial situation?!?!

eh, wouldn't pick a summer birth.

1)heavily pg in crap hot sticky weather.
2)birthday parties when best friend on holiday, never get to have birthday at school
3)either really young or really old for school year.

CloudsAndTrees Wed 23-Jan-13 18:53:42

In a summer born and both of my children are summer borns. Its not very nice always being the youngest in the year at school, I wouldn't deliberately plan a summer born for that reason.

StinkyWicket Wed 23-Jan-13 18:54:59

I wanted mine to be born earlier for their benefit - it's easier being the oldest in the class when you are in primary (especially).


Also, as Spoony says, it's pretty shit being pregnant in hot sticky weather.

Hegsy Wed 23-Jan-13 18:56:43

3years ttc and I'd take any birthday. Good luck if your plans work out.

HarkAtYou Wed 23-Jan-13 18:56:56

I love being summer born, my birthday is equidistant from Xmas

GregBishopsBottomBitch Wed 23-Jan-13 18:58:42

My DD is youngest in the year, and i was always one of the youngest, and being preg in hot weather is shit.

Astelia Wed 23-Jan-13 19:01:04

It is tough for many years for summer born babies as they are the youngest and smallest. It evens itself out eventually but can take many many years.

In every top maths set I have taught there have been very few July/Aug babies.

I know you can aim for Sept and they come early, things don't go to plan. However I would try to avoid July/August personally.

Astelia Wed 23-Jan-13 19:03:27

Hegsy sad. Sorry to hear that- completely understand.

5madthings Wed 23-Jan-13 19:03:59

I have two summer horns, preg was horrid and its shown to be a disadvantage with schooling, my next three are December and march born partly because of those reasons.

hellohellohihi Wed 23-Jan-13 19:08:39

Thanks all. A couple of my best friends have July birthdays and I'd go as far to say that they were always the brightest at school and have gone on to get great jobs after studying and achieving fan degrees.

I suppose I've also seen my friends with second babies who have seemed to have advanced quicker seemingly because they have an older sibling (though I appreciate that's not a hard and fast rule).

The money side of things is an issue and would make difference of thousands of pounds.... But obviously isn't the be all and end all in the great scheme of things.

hellohellohihi Wed 23-Jan-13 19:09:14


OddBoots Wed 23-Jan-13 19:15:20

I have an August born son, it just worked out that way he is doing absolutely fine, Y9 and top sets for all, on track for a bunch of A and A*s in a city centre comp. It could be because we have been aware of the stats for summer children so we have done a fair bit at home to support his learning or it could just be luck, we will never know.

As a late March baby myself with an early April born daughter I found this article quite depressing though. I think it's swings and roundabouts really.

psynl Wed 23-Jan-13 19:15:24

I purposely had a summer baby (june) for the same reasons - mainly almost a year less child care. I think the school side of things evens out quicker than you think. My top ability groups last year were exclusively summer born (a bit unusual - there is usually a spread but always includes some summer borns). It hasn't affected my child at all - top sets across the board. Saying all that, I'm going for a spring baby this time to maximize mat leave

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 19:20:19

Another one who has been TTC for almost three years here. I'd gnaw my own right arm off to have a baby full stop. Sod considerations as to what time of year he/she would be born.

5madthings Wed 23-Jan-13 19:20:43

My elder two who are summer born are in yr9 and yr6 as and are both doing brilliantly academically but you can tell from a social POV that ds2 is the youngest in his year.

Lots do fine but statistically they are more likely to struggle and I don't see the point in planning to give a child a disadvantage.

I had similar thoughts to the OP. I don't think any of them are insignificant.

But I mc my Aug13 baby. I'm not telling you this for sympathy, but just to emphasise that conception isn't really a plannable thing.

Good luck ttc.

jellybeans Wed 23-Jan-13 19:23:32

I wouldn't choose it. August borns can be at a disadvantage! I have two born right at end of Aug and was very relieved that DC5 would be a winter born!

AliceWChild Wed 23-Jan-13 19:24:41

I planned my pregnancy for best financial and other outcomes. Got it bang on. I wouldn't like a summer baby as its important to me they're not the youngest in the school year. But I had friends who preferenced the nursery place stuff too.

Gooseysgirl Wed 23-Jan-13 19:26:16

I'm a teacher and waited til Jan to start TTC DC2 because am trying to avoid summer birth date. One of the brightest kids I ever taught was born on 31st Aug but that's been the exception rather than the rule...

RugBugs Wed 23-Jan-13 19:37:44

We have planned for a summer baby.
DP is a teacher so if I wanted him to be guaranteed to be at home it had to be July/Aug.
I'm not worried about being hot in late pregnancy, it doesn't get very warm here in the nw!
Ditto about being disadvantaged at school, we both come from academic families and DP teaches secondary maths.

I love having an early summer birthday, so many more options when the weather is fine.

Anomaly Wed 23-Jan-13 19:37:59

Ds1 was born in may 2007 one month after the change in maternity pay from 6 months to 9 months. That was a combination of planning and luck as I conceived on the first month. I have since conceived twice more on the first month of trying. I know I'm very lucky and it doesn't happen for everyone but yanbu to think that you can try and you may get lucky.

Jojobump1986 Wed 23-Jan-13 19:38:59

I'm an august baby. Academically I did fine, although maybe I'd have done better if I was a few more weeks late! I always struggled with the social aspects & still do. I can get on with people 5+ years older/younger but really struggle to connect with my peers.

I've planned our DC's due dates for other reasons though - DH's birthday is in January so Dec/Jan is quite expensive. I literally sat down & looked at a calendar to see when all our close family's birthdays were & figured out where there were spaces! I do like to fit in around other people! blush I'm not entirely sure what I'd have done if my plan hadn't worked - I don't think I'd have waited for the next appropriate window! By the end of this year, November will be the only month where we don't have a birthday in our immediate family!

JolieColombe Wed 23-Jan-13 19:39:24

It depends where you live. We're in Scotland and wanted DD to be among the older ones in the year for the reasons others have listed above, so we aimed for a late spring/early summer birth, and were very lucky to get it. Waiting to see if it makes a difference when she goes to school in a few years.

June is a good month for the same reason you mention, BUT in June the dc get to celebrate their birthday before the end of the school year. It is warm enough for an outdoors birthday. You have "more summer" with a newborn before winter sets in, ie lazy days in the shade in the park, as opposed to more heavily pregnant for an extra month of summer.

MrsKoala Wed 23-Jan-13 19:45:14

i liked being preggo in the summer - we haven't had any really hot ones recently so that wasn't a problem. Also i spent very little on mat clothes, wearing cheap maxi's and size bigger sandals. If it had have been now i would have had to invest in a coat and boots and jumpers etc.

Also nice to have a distance from xmas. I am just after xmas and all your presents and celebrations are winter related then it's a long gap to xmas again.

I am relieved DS was late tho, he was due 29 Aug and came 12 sept. So he will be the oldest in the class.

hellohellohihi Wed 23-Jan-13 19:47:36

Well I think September would be ok bonus-wise too just that dc2 would be at school a year 'later'. My cousins dd is a mid September baby and was far far too old for nursery by the time she left and could've done with going to school much earlier... Surely the staggered starts is the best way??

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 23-Jan-13 19:49:01

I am August birthday - it's a double edged sword. I had the joy of always being on holiday for my birthday but I hated being lumped in with the whole 'who has a birthday in the holidays' rather than the current week. Also hard to pick when to have a party - miles away from your actual birthday.

Academically it probably did me a favour because I strived to keep up with my peers but socially I was well behind and didn't really get true friends and understand social norms until I was well into my teens.

We had notions of when we wanted our baby but like some others on this thread, it took us a long time (2 years 8 months) to conceive and I am just delighted to be having a baby. It has actually worked out fairly well (April due date so I can take some leave from this year and some from next year!).

realistically I don't think many people will successfully be able to time conception within a couple of months - was it such with your DD? YANBU to think it would be ideal to have a baby around that time but I don't think you can bank on it!

hellohellohihi Wed 23-Jan-13 19:49:18

Dd is a Xmas baby and you're right about the maternity clothes being a pain! Being due in dec I didn't want to fork out for maternity coats that I wouldn't be wearing all winter!

hellohellohihi Wed 23-Jan-13 19:49:46

Dd was first time of trying.

hellohellohihi Wed 23-Jan-13 19:52:56

Good luck to those of you long term ttc, knowing what a blessing a baby is I realise it's doesn't matter when dc2 arrives but I'm an idealist/planner so just mulling it over really. Plus regardless of the money side I think a 2.5ish year age gap between dc is quite nice!

SunshineOutdoors Wed 23-Jan-13 19:52:59

I don't get how you can plan it to the exact month... even if you get pregnant quickly, surely not that many people get pregnant the first month of trying?

I tried for a few months both times and both times I've managed to conceive an August baby, maybe I'm only fertile in November! It scares me a bit hearing all the negatives for August children but I didn't choose it that way, it just happened.

Yfronts Wed 23-Jan-13 19:58:34

Well your reasons are all based on money!! Money money money!!!

Rethink it from a completely different point of view. What is best for the child - to be older or very young in it's year?

I have two children who are both young in their year (took a long time to conceive) and they have found school exhausting physically/mentally. They are both bright (academic families) and are doing extremely well. However generally at out school most the top table children are the September to December born kids, while the bottom table kids are mostly June to Aug born. This is also reflected at university level with 20% less August babies attending uni.

I would have loved my children to be older in their academic year. It really is a huge advantage regardless of academic ability.

BackforGood Wed 23-Jan-13 19:59:36

Oh, I once niavely thought you could "plan" when to concieve/give birth. In RL I don't know anyone that could predict when they would become pregnant though, so I just wouldn't sweat over it.
I've got 3dc, one June, one Sept and one Oct - if you really could "choose", I'd definitely choose the Sept / Oct birth months on balance, but, I can find reasons why the June birthday has been nice over the years too (not least the put on a big 'Prom' for him for his 16th Birthday last year wink)

Boomerwang Wed 23-Jan-13 20:04:48

I'm an August baby and I always felt behind others in the same class. I was dropped down a set for everything and I don't think I was particularly slow to learn, just that I was reading stuff that was slightly beyond my capabilities. This of course was detrimental to my exam results, as you were not able to get above a certain grade if you were in lower sets as the exam omitted the stuff you hadn't been taught, which of course was the harder stuff which got you higher grades.

Boomerwang Wed 23-Jan-13 20:05:48

Sorry, I would also say that it's worth considering what school life could be like for your child as well as your financial situation when the child is born.

BlackholesAndRevelations Wed 23-Jan-13 20:13:19

Another teacher who planned a September baby and got one (super super lucky) because I wanted my child to be older and therefore have better chances at school. There is no doubt that the majority of summer borns are disadvantaged at school just because of their maturity (I teach year one where it is very clear who is autumn and who us summer born) I am July and did well, but I'd still want to give them the best chances in life that I possibly could.

However... I've just mc an august baby and am obviously devastated about it; a baby is a blessing whenever it's born.

didireallysaythat Wed 23-Jan-13 20:19:16

I didn't plan things but in hindsight it was great. DC1 started school when I was 37 weeks pregnant and work let me finish at 2:30 so I could pick up from school. DC2 was born late Sept and I started maternity leave 2 days beforehand (elective c-s).

I preferred being pregnant in the summer (vests and maxi skirt) to being pregnant in the winter (chilly gap between my tops and trousers as my bump expanded).

But I don't think I would have wanted to be at home with a baby in January - low light levels, harder to get out of the house all day long to avoid depression etc... But that's just me..

DaveMccave Wed 23-Jan-13 20:23:43

No I'd never wish that. I'm currently due end if August and already really upset that they will be very youngest of their year. My dd has a June birthday, youngest in her class and although very confident and independent at just turned 4, she was miles behind her peers in terms of friendship groups and managing general school stuff (sitting still on carpet etc) Most of the top streamed kids are older, I think summer babies are really disadvantaged in this respect. Not worth it for a years saving of nursery fees imo but if it meant the choice between affording another wanted child or not I could see why you might aim for that.

Karoleann Wed 23-Jan-13 20:24:02

I planned a may, June and April birth for my three and (almost) got them, ds2 was a week late so v early July. I planned as I don't like getting up to feed babies in winter months and I get very down in jan/feb.
I also didn't want them to have birthdays near Christmas or be the eldest in the year or be pregnant all over summer.
I still wouldn't plan for an August birthday, even ds2 seems very young for his year.
If I did go for number 4, I would probably go for a march or October birthday.

beachyhead Wed 23-Jan-13 20:28:43

I got the bonus/maternity pay thing with my was fab, bought a car! She was due in July, arrived in May, wasted lots of my maternity leave sitting in neo-natal......

Actually my August born baby, (due in Sept, born in August) is my brightest and doing best at school, but it was hot being pregnant.

bluer Wed 23-Jan-13 20:29:23

I didn't think people actually tried to plan such things! I'd just be grateful if you can get pregnant without much heartache and worry if I were you! I think the only thing that would sway me if I had any control would be to try to avoid the dead of winter...we live well over an hour from nearest maternity unit and 40 mins from a and e. We are fairly rural and I would be worried about snow...several times over lay few years we have been snowed in and the village was inaccessible.

SageYourResoluteOracle Wed 23-Jan-13 20:29:23

Oh great. Another thing to feel bad about.

My fertility situation is one of the most drastic as they come. My sister donated eggs to me. I am still delighted beyond belief that I have DD. She's a July baby and, frankly, I don't give a flying fuck that she's a summer born, not least because most of the pregnancy was touch and go. I feel for the plight of others on here who are TTC.

I don't mean to piss on others' parades (OP- I'm not referring to you here BTW as you sound nice) but I only hope that those who 'conceived first time trying' or 'planned pregnancies to the nearest month' never ever experience the bitter disappointment that some of us have experienced. Sorry, but I'm sensing a bit of smugness and boastfulness. I also hope that your careful planning in a financial sense isn't usurped by redundancy and subsequent long-term unployment as it did with DH.

What I'm trying to say, in ever such a grumpy and inarticulate manner, is that even the best laid plans can unravel in a heartbeat.

DH, DS1 and I are all young-for-the-year summer birthdays. We were all desperately ready for school at only just four.

By contrast, my brother is a September. He was ready for school at four but had to wait a whole year more (despite repeated applications to the LA) and was at a constant disadvantage in primary school, until my parents decided to opt out and go private - changing their own career plans to be able to do so.

With that anecdotal evidence, and two summer term DCs, I am anxious about conceiving a DC3 to be born too early in the school year. But I decided the age gap was more important than the birthday, so we are still trying. I don't want to miss the egg that will hatch, IYSWIM.

Of course those who suffer most are those with July/August birthdays who were actually due in October. Doubly/triply disadvantaged.

ReallyTired Wed 23-Jan-13 20:32:35

I planned a March baby and ended up with an April baby. It was lovely having nice weather with a newborn.

If you want to avoid postnatal depression then March is the best month to aim for.

MummytoKatie Wed 23-Jan-13 20:32:58

We got married very young and so had lots of time to plan the "ideal". We decided on February for various reasons but then dh had a big project to complete in May 2009 so we couldn't go on our second honeymoon until June. Dd was technically born 2nd month of trying but I have very short cycles so there was less than 10 months from last pill to first gas & air.

I'm glad she was End March though as it means that we get nursery funding from 1 April.

With (future) ds we wanted another Feb / March baby but I was a bridesmaid in August and the dress was very very fitted. He will be born in May as we decided a 3 year gap with May was better than a 4 year gap with March.

There are pros and cons of being an August baby. Statistically they do do less well at school. But if I had been born 2 weeks later I would have had to pay university fees so I'm glad I am August.

On the downside I couldn't legally drink on my A-level results day (and despite my August-ness I got 4 As so I felt I had something to celebrate.)

So all in all it's worth thinking of these things as you (like me) seem to be blessed with high fertility. But the plan needs to be flexible. And personally I old never aim for n August birthday.

FrankellyMyDearIDontGiveADamn Wed 23-Jan-13 20:34:22

<round of applause for Sage>

BlackholesAndRevelations Wed 23-Jan-13 20:37:37

sage- I don't sense smugness and boastfulness, just naivety actually. You just don't understand infertility or miscarriage until you've been through it yourself. Congratulations on your DD smile

bellabelly Wed 23-Jan-13 20:43:59

I was praying that my DTs would come early and be August babies instead of mid-September! Those extra 2 weeks will cost us thousands of pounds for an extra year of nursery. Having already had 2 August babies, I knew all about the pros and cons (and in fact worried endlessly and needlessly about my Aug DCs being young for their year group).

YANBU at all. There's more to life than money but it certainly helps to make life more pleasant when you have enough of it.

MummytoKatie Wed 23-Jan-13 20:49:33

Sage apologies if I appear smug. The fact is that both times with my pregnancies I did get pregnant very quickly. And I am an obsessive planner so these things were planned in great detail. But I am aware that I am very lucky it worked out so well and truthfully I never expected it to.

What I didn't mention in my original thread is that we went through a suspected miscarriage this time but miraculously the baby survived. The experience has convinced me that this baby (and all children) are just meant to be.

HollyBerryBush Wed 23-Jan-13 20:58:19

You cannot 'guess' or predict how a child will perform academically irrespective of when they are born.

DS1 & 2 went to a primary school with a 3 form entry, where forms were more or set by birthday.

Year in, year out the May and June baby boys swept the floor with the rest of the school for the 11+ and grammar entry.

Coincidence? Luck? Something in the water? Who knows.

MummytoKatie Wed 23-Jan-13 21:01:09

Oooh one other thing I've thought of is that my mum got pregnant very easily as well. I spent all of my teenage years and early twenties having it drilled into me that "fertility is hereditary - some people can afford to take chances and will get away with it - you won't".

The mental adjustment from "pregnancy happens if you are not vigilant every single second" to "sometimes it is hard to get pregnant even if you really want to" is enormous and I don't think I ever really made it.

5madthings Wed 23-Jan-13 21:10:04

Oh I know was incredibly lucky with my pregnancies, I have had two miscarriages as well but have always got pregnant the first month oif trying or in ds1's case after no it taking precautions once. It means I am extra careful now and I thank my lucky stats how blessed I am.

And its not relevant but as I was so lucky I chose to donate eggs in the hope of passing on that luck and giving someone else the gift if a child. My egg recipient is pregnant with twins smile having gone through the donation process I can only imagine how difficult ivf etc is.

Some people are lucky and that's all it is, luck but if you are fortunate enough to conceive easily it doesn't hurt to try and plan a pregnancy, I think all of us are happy whatever but if a certain month makes sense for whatever reason it can't hurt to try for it.

Wincher Wed 23-Jan-13 22:09:49

I felt exactly the same as the op - my first dc is a summer baby and I wanted another summer baby so that there would only be 3 rather than 4 school years between them, because I expect my children will be fairly bright and ready for school at 4 and to save a year's childcare costs. However things don't always work out like that and I am (touch wood) expecting a September baby who would have to be over two weeks early to be in the year above. This thread has actually showed me that this is probably a good thing!

HavingALittleFaithBaby Wed 23-Jan-13 22:28:01

Mummyto we found that's not necessarily true! Its about your combined fertility - my parents conceived my sister within one month of TTC, two months with me. DH's parents conceived two of three of them by 'surprise' and one easily. It took us over 2 1/2 years because we had male factor fertility problems due to him having a previously undiagnosed health problem. We didn't expect it to happen immediately but never imagined it would take as long as it did.

Having hung around the Conception boards for two years now, I have been amazed at how many people post about quick/unexpected conception with DC1, only to struggle with DC2. Various factors contribute to fertility and while I appreciate it sounds wonderfully ideal to 'plan' pregnancies, not everyone has that luxury,

SageYourResoluteOracle Wed 23-Jan-13 22:39:21

Black holes - I think you're probably right.

Frankelly thanks

Katie- I didn't think you we're boasting smile

It was more phrases such as 'Got it bang on.' Thus implying that to conceive exactly when planned deserves a round of applause. This is probably me taking things to heart because of my own experience but I didn't plan to be so efficient and go through menopause before the age of 30 sad and it's made me feel as if I've somehow failed. I know this isn't true but it's how I sometimes feel.

On a different note, research has shown that summer born babies are happier than people born in the winter months. last paragraph. Something to do with circadian rhythms. That said, having taught for years and still working in education, summer born children don't tend to do as well academically as older children but I do think that other factors can contribute. I think that, provided the right support & right opportunities are given to children, all will achieve their potential.

SageYourResoluteOracle Wed 23-Jan-13 22:59:50

5Madthings- I remember you saying you we're donating a while ago. I think you're marvellous!

SageYourResoluteOracle Wed 23-Jan-13 23:00:24

*were, obv!

1978andallthat Wed 23-Jan-13 23:05:52

I was youngest in year at school. Never a problem.

I have two dec dcs and if I have third really want spring or summer one so older ones can just run about in garden/park for entertainment. Much harder entertaining toddler in winter as still need to get out to burn off energy.

LanaDelRain Wed 23-Jan-13 23:11:15

I'm a Feb baby, best time to be born in my opinion

Used to have half term off from school, never had exams and when I was 18 the majority of my friends could come out to celebrate etc.

A summer birthday would be nice though.

Christelle2207 Wed 23-Jan-13 23:11:24

what sage said.

my baby is due in august and I def would not have planned it that way as I'm convinced august babies are disadvantaged. However after bloody ages ttc I'll be thrilled with him/her (touchwood) regardless.

AliceWChild Thu 24-Jan-13 08:41:07

Sage I'm not smug nor want a round of applause. I was very surprised to conceive in my first month. Astounded. I waited to start trying until it would be in my preferred window. I was lucky. I shared my experience with someone trying the same. I also deliberately included the choice of a friend who wanted a different outcome so as not to upset people who made the same choice as her. I don't know how it would be possible to answer the OP with experience of planning without it being very clear that conception happened quickly.

AliceWChild Thu 24-Jan-13 08:47:16

Oh what the heck, just to add that my baby had a dire 20 week scan. Had we taken some of the medical advice we were given, and things had turned out differently, I would have then ttc whenever we could think about trying again. I'm not obsessed with the timing, it was a starting point that worked out well for me. But he's fine, thankfully.

poorbuthappy Thu 24-Jan-13 08:54:01

I didn't realise August babies were so damaged and never amounted to anything!!

Matildaduck Thu 24-Jan-13 09:04:38

Have to say my oldest is 4 and just missed school ( sept) can read & write, add, subtract and really should be at school. Imagine his advantage over a summer born.

He will be a full year ahead.

The cost savings are short lived.

Matildaduck Thu 24-Jan-13 09:05:23

Fwiw, he wasn't planned.

Panzee Thu 24-Jan-13 09:12:52

It may seem that summer borns are 'behnd' but that might only be in comparison to the other children n their class. Most decent teachers make sure they're on track for their age, not in comparison to the others. Don't sweat the school thing.

sheeplikessleep Thu 24-Jan-13 09:16:24

Oh gawd, I wish I hadn't read this thread. It's something that's been bothering me for a few weeks now.
I'm 9 weeks, expecting DC3 on 2nd September, but as DS1 and DS2 were both 3 weeks early, I'm expecting an August baby.
I'm totally thrilled to be expecting and completely planned, but I hadn't fully realised the disadvantage of being an August baby or how long lasting the statistics are. I feel so guilty now and I am worrying myself over this so much. I know it's pregnancy hormones as much as anything, but it's something I can't get out of my mind.

IWorshipSatin Thu 24-Jan-13 09:16:36

I'm a summer born and the worst thing about it was starting infants in Easter after everyone else had already made their friends and been there ages. I still cite that as the reason I've felt 'out on the peripheral' for my entire life! I don't know if they still stagger it like that. It evened out educationally and if anything I was better off because my mum was teaching me to read and write at home. My birthday is perfectly placed but my parents weren't the type to have us do outdoorsy stuff...

My baby is due at the end of June and I think I've (accidentally) timed it brilliantly. I'll have my mat leave over the summer and can be outside lots walking off that baby weight (DC1 was born end of Autumn and it was horrendous weather). Less childcare costs as you say. Great for birthdays. Super duper roll on June!

OddBoots Thu 24-Jan-13 09:17:36

I think in the days when you went to school and when you left that was it, you had what you had then it was tougher on summer born children.

These days, maybe they don't do quite as well at school as autumn born children but they have the advantage of selecting a post-school pathway and if it doesn't suit them then they can change routes because they almost a whole year 'in hand'. If they are well supported then they have a better chance of not having to spend their lives doing something that doesn't suit them.

It really isn't a clear cut thing any more then the number of children one has or the age at which one has them, different things suit different families and a lot of it is down to chance so just do what works best for you.

ArielThePiraticalMermaid Thu 24-Jan-13 09:21:06

My sister is August 29th. Ten GCSEs, 3 A Levels, BSc, Masters....only anecdotal I know.

These threads mystify me. Surely you just want a baby? confused. But then again, I can't imagine just planning a baby, conceiving the baby and having the baby.Just seeing two lines on the stick seems completely unachievable and complex.

IWorshipSatin Thu 24-Jan-13 09:22:36

sheeplikessleep - bless you... if it's any consolation I'm a July baby and together with a lot of my July and August peers stayed on for A-levels and went to uni. I was a high achiever even at primary (one of those annoying ones who was always getting certificates and raced through the maths books). I do think it's down to the stuff my mum did at home with me though, rather than anything to do with school. I'm not boasting because I'm definitely not a high achiever now!

Lots of March and earliers didn't even stay on for GCSEs. I really don't think it matters when you were born by the time it starts to matter, iykwim.

lljkk Thu 24-Jan-13 09:29:33

yanbu, Darn sight better reasons than many.

GhoulWithADragonTattoo Thu 24-Jan-13 09:31:20

OP - in the scheme of things birthdate is nothing. How your child grows up is more to do with who they are and the support you and your partner give them. Statistically September / October borns might do better on average than July / August birthdays but for your individual children that is not that big a deal I'd say.

Some people don't like having August birthdays. I'm early January and never liked it. It's not really ruined my life though smile

I have two spring babies for what its worth (not planned in terms of timing as we'd been trying for a good while with DD and hadn't actually started trying at all with DS ) and it's a lovely time to have a young baby going out everyday for walks and sitting with baby in the garden. So there's more to consider than being old in the school year and if you want to try for a summer baby as it would make things easier financially easier there nothing wrong with that (remembering that nothing in life is guaranteed!)

sheeplikessleep Thu 24-Jan-13 09:31:36

Iworship - I really hope that I can help to counterbalance it too. At least I have the situation where DS2 starts school next September, so I have 3 years of just me and DC3 at home (in school time) before he/she starts school. DH keeps telling me that it is what it is and he/she will be absolutely fine.

DS1 is in reception and born in October, is on of the oldest in his year. He's settled in so well, was totally ready for it.

I hope also being the youngest of 3, our new baby will be confident and bolshy enough at a young four when he / she starts, with all of the older kids who will be head and shoulders above!

elizaregina Thu 24-Jan-13 09:42:04

Hortaiia why was your brother disadvanted?

MummytoMog Thu 24-Jan-13 11:06:35

If we have another one, we'll have another summer born for financial reasons. My DD is late august, speech delayed and socially delayed, and dealing with those issues probably would be easier if she were a march baby like DS. But you have to plan as well as you can with the known variables, and there are lots of benefits to August babies. And being heavily pregnant in the snow was worse for me than being heavily pregnant in the summer.

MummytoMog Thu 24-Jan-13 11:12:54

I actually have a timeline worked out for possible DC3, with a budget next to it. I have been very lucky to be able to time pregnancies exactly, but if I can be that precise, then it makes sense to work out when would be best for us as a family and aim for it.

eliza without hijacking the thread too much blush he did very well when he was in the middle of a class, eg Y1 in a Y1/Y2 class, but bored stiff at the top (Y2 in Y1/Y2). School/LA flat refused to move him up to the year he was just a few days too young for. He was removed from inflexible state system at end of Y3 to avoid another stagnant year. He is an academic now.

MummytoKatie Thu 24-Jan-13 13:25:37

One thing I would say is that once you are out of the school system being an August birthday does seem to be an advantage.

For example I have 2 friends who were born exactly a week apart and started work at the same company on the same day. But one had had a year abroad as part of their degree whilst the other had just done 3 years.

Also when I turned 18 I already had my A level results nd we all knew I was off to university in less than 6 weeks. Whilst with my brother (October) my parents had a full year if him being at home and still at school and financially dependent on them but he was legally an adult. It was a very hard year for all 3 of them.

loofet Thu 24-Jan-13 14:01:18

I have two summer babies (one early June and one early August) didn't plan to have them at any particular time, a baby was a baby to me regardless of birth date. Would you stop trying then if after starting in January by, say, September it still hadn't happened? I mean to the ones who don't want a summer baby..

I find the concept bizarre. I had a few friends at school with Summer birthdays, all exceptionally bright. Nobody i've known with a summer birthday has suffered any more than us with earlier birthdays. My eldest was born early March, he hasn't had an easier time than my younger two. To me if you want a baby that much birth date should be irrelevant..

Cherriesarelovely Thu 24-Jan-13 14:08:30

I wouldn't have wanted DD to be born in the summer because I have lots of friends who said it was horrible always being the youngest at school. However, I have always envied them for having lovely summer birthdays. Mine is just after Christmas which is crap!

PoshCat Thu 24-Jan-13 14:22:25

My DD2 is a late August baby. Was due early September.
As it turns out she has some SN, primarily severe speech delay.
Since she started reception she has had much more speech therapy and support than preschool where she basically just played on her own.
I see her starting school early as giving her a leg up and a bit of a headstart.
She loves school and thrives on the more structured routine and discipline.

OP, go for it!

SageYourResoluteOracle Thu 24-Jan-13 14:27:06

Alice- I can empathise with the dire 20 week scan. Ditto here. We were also (mistakenly) advised at 32 weeks to terminate or that they could induce me and not resuscitate! Thankfully we ignored and continued! Sorry you've had to go through what you've gone through.

I guess I'm envious of people who do get to plan conception. I don't have that choice. We have no way to have any more babies either and all my friends are now on their Second or third babies and I just feel sad.

A baby at any time is a total blessing.

Pandemoniaa Thu 24-Jan-13 14:35:24

Ds1 was due in late May but arrived early in June. The weather was warm but not unbearable in the last weeks of pregnancy and it was great to lumber off out for tea in gardens. Ds1 certainly didn't suffer academically and his birthday was always in school term with the added bonus of usually very good weather. Toilet training was done in summertime and was so much easier because it was warm and fewer clothes were needed.

In many practical ways, having a summer born child was great. Ds2 was born in December and I'd choose June over 10 days before Christmas any time!

Bakingtins Thu 24-Jan-13 14:55:24

YANBU to want a baby when it suits you. YABVU if you think life will always work put the way you want. 18m TTC and one MC (my 2nd) later, I'm in the group that would be bloody delighted with any baby at all.

Bakingtins Thu 24-Jan-13 14:55:49

Work out

BillyBollyDandy Thu 24-Jan-13 15:13:05

I think it is great that DD1 is the youngest in her year. She started preschool 3 days after she turned 3, in September. That preschool is attached to the primary she will go to and is rated outstanding. Some of the children in her class were about to turn 4 when they started the preschool. She has started learning to read/write a whole year earlier than the older children, and she is keeping up well. Much better imo than her stopping at nursery (which is caring but not academic as you would expect) until she turned 4.

But then everyone in my family, including (Dr) DH is born in June/July/August, except DM who broke the tradition with April. We are all successful academically <shrugs>

Chunderella Thu 24-Jan-13 16:01:32

Yanbu to want to have a baby when it will be most financially advantageous. It's true that summer born babies are at a disadvantage academically, but it isn't a particularly big one and other factors are likely to be more important. Did you and DH do well at school? If so, the odds are that your DC will, whenever they are born.

However, I don't especially recommend an August birth. Not so much because of being huge when it's hot- I'm not sure that's any worse than having morning sickness then. But it means you'll be feeling dog rough around Christmas time, which is a bit shit. It also means you might, as I did, give birth in the week when all the junior doctors are changing jobs. I was left for several hours until it was too late to have an epidural, and have been told by a doctor friend that the timing probably had something to do with it because more people than usual would've been on training. That said, I'll probably TTC DC2 to be born in summer again, because I have a lot of family who work in schools so more help will be available then.

AliceWChild Thu 24-Jan-13 17:02:07

Sage, it's awful isn't it. The number of similar stories I hear is shocking. And the enormous heart ache it causes. Glad yours worked out too.

sheeplikessleep Thu 24-Jan-13 18:55:20

Can I just say thank you to those who've taken the time to post positive August baby stories.

It is reassuring, thank you.

mirai Fri 25-Jan-13 02:00:23

To those if you who plan for a baby... How? Do you just assume you'll get pregnant on the first month of trying and get lucky?

I'd love a baby next April as it would fit in with many things on the practical side, March and earlier would be no good, so how could I plan that?!

CheungFun Fri 25-Jan-13 02:32:00

Just to reassure people, being an August baby is great! I never suffered at school due to being born in August hmm and I was always in the top sets for everything except Maths which I just wasn't interested in. Birthdays were good as it was always sunny so I could have parties in the garden and DM felt less pressure too as we didn't have to inite the entire class!

honeytea Fri 25-Jan-13 05:14:31

If we try for dc2 I will aim for an April birth. I'm in hospital with 5 week old ds he has re virus, it's so sad to see him so Ill, I don't think I could cope with the worry I would have for a second winter born baby.

Mosman Fri 25-Jan-13 06:04:06

I wanted even number birthdates in terms of day month and year. Got them all although DS was June and I wanted October really. They were all perfectly spaced and came exactly to plan so it can work out

mirai Fri 25-Jan-13 06:29:12

Whey even, Mosman? smile

Mosman Fri 25-Jan-13 06:38:40

I have no idea, I just like things to be neat I think and so the first one was say 12-8-2002 and so they all had to be. Their names all have the same number of letters and the letter DH and I's name begins with in their somewhere too.
It looks very well laid out when I sign cards from us all grin

StuckOnARollercoaster Fri 25-Jan-13 07:11:05

I had crazy reasons for wanting a Nov/Dec baby so that I would still be able to go snowboarding! So we started trying in march/April as one season finished...
Of course nature was having none of it and we didn't conceive till September and are awaiting our June arrival. (But funnily enough I don't care there's no snowboarding this year now!)
As a July baby my mum tells me how lovely it was even though the summer was very hot because she could let me be naked or just in a nappy. My birthday was always a nice opposite to Christmas and could be spent outdoors. In those days I don't think there was as much angst about achievement and comparisons with peers. That said I turned out ok (straight a's and a first at uni wink)
I hope my baby will be happy and healthy and if s/he needs support over the years I will give it but not blame myself that I gave birth at a 'disadvantaged' time of year.
And finally in these economic times I wouldn't be surprised if plenty of people are working things out like the op, but like many have said it may not be that easy - I certainly didn't want to stop TTC because my timing window had closed.

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo Fri 25-Jan-13 07:20:09

I've never heard of this dislike for August born babies before. Maybe because I'm in Scotland and August babies are middle in the school year. My eldests a birthday is 31st August, and he was born at 11.59pm. How annoying if I was wishing for a September baby haha

BrandonFlowersHoHoHo Fri 25-Jan-13 07:21:19

Oh and I don't mean August born babies are disliked btw haha

AliceWChild Fri 25-Jan-13 07:43:29

Miria, pretty much. I held off until the start of my window. Then tried. Obviously it then depends how quickly you conceive.

AliceWChild Fri 25-Jan-13 07:44:55

Very good point re illness honeytea.

Bunbaker Fri 25-Jan-13 07:57:38

"I love being summer born, my birthday is equidistant from Xmas"

That's why DD likes having a summer birthday. SIL's birthday is just before Christmas and OH's just after and he never enjoys his birthday. Being one of the youngest hasn't held her back. She is in the top sets for everything at school and we can do fun, outdoor things for her birthday.

VinegarDrinker Fri 25-Jan-13 08:27:20

My birthday Aug 31st. My teacher Mum was worried (due mid Sept) but without boasting or listing my CV, it's fair to say it has never held me back academically. I never struggled at school or Uni and have a successful professional career.

My first DS is a Feb baby and no 2 is due in July. I really can't get hung up about the school performance thing. There are so many more important factors.

VinegarDrinker Fri 25-Jan-13 08:29:37

My birthday *is Aug 31st

(I am so obviously not disadvantaged by my summer birthday that I can even make correct sentences. Sometimes)

Chunderella Sun 27-Jan-13 19:14:23

Mirai it's true that one can't assume- although I have only ever had unprotected sex once in my life and it resulted in DD, so perhaps the same will happen next time! But if you know you'd prefer to have a baby in, say, early August, you give yourself the maximum chance of this by beginning TTC in early November. If it doesn't work it doesn't work, but obviously you won't get what you want if you don't try. In your case, the sensible thing would be to start TTC in July. Either it works, in which case you get your April baby. Or it doesn't, in which case you have to decide whether you'd rather wait another year to have an April baby, or keep trying and probably conceive before that. You have to be in it to win it!

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