to think my babysitter is a greedy pig?

(248 Posts)
HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 16:53:30

So I went out with DH on Saturday night and my friends 15 year old babysat for us.

Came back about 1am and thanked her and DH drove her home. Decided to make a cup of tea how rock n' roll and noticed that she had eaten half of a victoria sponge cake, a whole block of cheddar had gone and she had drunk half a litre of diet coke.

I did say help yourself to food. But surely this is taking the piss?

LifeofPo Mon 21-Jan-13 16:55:42

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WakeyCakey Mon 21-Jan-13 16:56:28

At least if she was eating all this food she was too busy to root around in your stuff which is my huge fear of babysitters hehe smile

Also take it as a compliment that your cake was amazing smile

Always looking on the bright side

holidaysarenice Mon 21-Jan-13 16:57:12

What did you pay her for saturday night?

DawnOfTheDee Mon 21-Jan-13 16:57:22

Maybe she had her boyfriend round...?

lockets Mon 21-Jan-13 16:57:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotInGuatemalaNowDrRopata Mon 21-Jan-13 16:59:29

all the above, plus, you kept a 15 year old up until 1am?

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:00:50

Oh I'm joking about the greedy pig comment and I mean it light heartedly. I am be a greedy pig too - but with my own food.

She arrived at 8 and we came back at 1 so we gave her £40.

£7 an hour before midnight and then £10 afterwards and then we just rounded it up.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:01:20

*I can be ..

LifeofPo Mon 21-Jan-13 17:02:07

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:02:17

I don't think 1am is too late as it wasn't a school night and both her and her mum were fine with it and my husband drove her home too.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:03:01

Also take it as a compliment that your cake was amazing

Haha thanks, I do try. smile

LadyMargolotta Mon 21-Jan-13 17:03:11

Have you checked the fridge for the cheese? If I whole block has gone, I wonder if it's hidden.

If it was one of those small victoria sponges, then it's fairly easy to eat half of it.

Cortana Mon 21-Jan-13 17:03:16

YABU. Half a litre of diet coke, a whole 500mls, over the course of an evening?

Ok so half a cake is more than a portion, but I bet it was rather dull babysitting alone until 1am. I've overindulged when bored, easy done.

MrsWolowitz Mon 21-Jan-13 17:03:18

The greedy pig comment is a bit harsh but eating that lot is pretty greedy so YANB totally U.

By a whole block of cheddar do you mean one of those really small ones and not the half kilo size?

Half a Victoria sponge isn't much - according to Call the Midwife last night it's mostly air.

Moominsarehippos Mon 21-Jan-13 17:03:38

I could quite easily eat half a cake and a whole block of cheese and I am a greedy pig!

I would have made her a sandwich or something as maybe she didn't want to root around in the kitchen.

GobTheGoblin Mon 21-Jan-13 17:04:02

YABU teenagers eat a lot of food. That will have just been a light snack for her. grin

JustFabulous Mon 21-Jan-13 17:04:10

That does seem like a lot for one person to eat in an evening.

JustFabulous Mon 21-Jan-13 17:04:50

Maybe she had a midnight feast with the children?

valiumredhead Mon 21-Jan-13 17:05:03

Don't say help yourself and then complain about it.

LynetteScavo Mon 21-Jan-13 17:05:35

Maybe she was bored and cold. Did you leave the heating on?

I could easily eat half a vicoroia sponge and drink half a litre of coke, but are you sure she ate a block of cheddar?

valiumredhead Mon 21-Jan-13 17:06:00

Leave her a tray out next time with food she is 'allowed.' and makes it easier for you to see exactly what she has eaten wink

middleagedspread Mon 21-Jan-13 17:07:30

My 15 yr old would think nothing of eating that in a course of an evening. I'd say it was normal for teens, always hungry & probably a bit bored/ tired too.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:08:59

I made her a spaghetti dish before she arrived, and there was also a bag of malteasers for her (she does like spaghetti and the malteasers were not a tiny bag btw)

And nope the cheese had definitely gone, I saw the wrapper in the bin.

TheProvincialLady Mon 21-Jan-13 17:10:58

If I had babysat for you when I was 15 and eaten that, you would have got off lightly. I would probably have eaten a couple of sandwiches, some packets of crisps and any biscuits you had.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:11:24

No I turned the heating off and gave her a blanket and also lit a candle for her so she wouldn't waste electricity.

Of course we left the heating on for her smile

And we have cable so there was plenty to watch on tv and I said she could use the iPad too.

TheProvincialLady Mon 21-Jan-13 17:11:33

as well as cake, cheese and diet coke, obvs.

CheeseStrawWars Mon 21-Jan-13 17:11:40

Bulimic?

Booyhoo Mon 21-Jan-13 17:11:54

i dont think it sounds like too much.

half a litre is just one of those 500ml bottles. i could drink that over dinner tbh (but wouldn't have more later, it would be to wash dinner down with if i got take away)

half a cake (how big was it?) and half the cheese is maybe more than i would eat but teens do seem to eat large portions of snacky stuff.

i dont think 1am was too late though. not on a weekend.

BandersnatchCummerbund Mon 21-Jan-13 17:11:58

Either leave her out a tray of snacks, or be more specific when you say "help yourself" (e.g. "help yourself to the biscuit tin and fruit bowl, and a piece of cake").

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:12:16

TheProvincialLady
If I had babysat for you when I was 15 and eaten that, you would have got off lightly. I would probably have eaten a couple of sandwiches, some packets of crisps and any biscuits you had

Hmm. Perhaps I should count how many bags of crisps we have left ...

usualsuspect Mon 21-Jan-13 17:12:20

Maybe she had her mates round

I was going to say it was probably payment to supplement the poxy wage you were undoubtedly paying her but £40 is good wages. So yes, she had a bit of a nerve troughing through that lot!

MumVsKids Mon 21-Jan-13 17:13:36

YABU. That's half the fun of babysitting from what I remember.

ChiefOwl Mon 21-Jan-13 17:14:44

I reckon she put the cheese on the pasta, ate the cake, the malteasers prob went in her bag. She was prob bored...

Yuk - very greedy. Half a cake and a block of cheese in one night?? I'd be as sick as a dog after that, even without swilling it down with diet coke.

Gigondas Mon 21-Jan-13 17:14:58

500ml of diet coke is not that much in 5 hours- it's less than 2 cans.the. Rest is quite normal teenage stuff (that amount of cheese was a light snack for dss).

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:15:56

Don't think so usual

I told her she could bring a friend, but she said she was ok.

Spatsky Mon 21-Jan-13 17:16:38

I could eat that in an evening now let alone when I was 15.

You have hit upon a bug beat of mine though. You say help yourself to her and then get snippy when she has done just that. It's these types of reactions that make people uncomfortable in that kind of situation because they never quite know if its meant sincerely.

If I said help yourself and I came home to bAe cupboards I would be pleased the babysitter let at home and wasn't sitting there hungry but scare to eat my food.

Megglevache Mon 21-Jan-13 17:17:39

You said help yourself.

I'd not flinch at that TBH.

I am a greedy pig though. grin

She might have gone to have some cheese and dropped it on the floor thus rendering it rank and only worthy for the bin ?

alemci Mon 21-Jan-13 17:17:54

yes leave her a tray next time. Half a cake is a bit greedy IMO if it is not in your own home.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Mon 21-Jan-13 17:18:20

I seriously doubt she ate a whole block of cheese. You'll probably find half of it wrapped in cling film or put in a plastic bag or whatever they do in their house. Lots of cake, but victoria sponge isn't filling is it, though it's quite rude to eat that much of someone else's cake. 500 ml of coke - so about 2 glasses/1.5 cans, not really much.

iwantanafternoonnap Mon 21-Jan-13 17:18:44

You say about the heating....I babysat for someone for free on New Years Eve and she turned the heating off when I arrived and said 'I have turned the heating off as it has been on all day' I was very shocked tbh plus no snacks for me, no offer of anything. I couldn't even make a cuppa as she only had yukky rice milk. I was frozen, bored and a bit hungry for some snacks!

Not even an offer of cash when she got back or even a bottle of wine to say thanks. She didn't even see me to the door! I had to pop my head round her sons door where she had got into bed and say 'oh okay, I'll be off now then'

Never again!! Really, really rude I think. I would have killed for some cake grin

valiumredhead Mon 21-Jan-13 17:19:29

The cake I can relate and the coke over the course of an evening but a whole block of cheese sounds vile but cheese in't really my 'thing.'

I'd rather she ate than sat there and too scare too eat as well spatsky

valiumredhead Mon 21-Jan-13 17:20:43

iwant why were you babysitting on NYE if not for cash? Are these people 'friends?' [shocked]

LadyMargolotta Mon 21-Jan-13 17:20:54

Some people are very compulsive eaters. I know if I open up a box of chocolates, I cannot relax until I have eaten them all. If she was bored and tired, it was probably just too tempting to resist.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:22:15

iwantanafternoonnap what?! That's crazy.

Thankfully my mum babysat for us on New Year and we bought her flowers as a thank you (no way would she have accepted cash) but if I'd got a babysitter I would have expected to pay them £10 an hour probably.

QuickLookBusy Mon 21-Jan-13 17:23:21

I doubt she ate a whole block of cheese, unless it was a small one.

I imagine someone else opened it before she came, DH or Dc?

Abra1d Mon 21-Jan-13 17:25:35

I think there is confusion between a Victoria Sandwich and a sponge.

A homemade VS is typically made with butter and eggs. The one I make has 6oz of butter and 6oz of sugar in it, plus three eggs and 6oz of flour. Plus jam filling.

Half one of these cakes would be well over 800 calories. You would feel quite full after you'd eaten that much in one sitting.

Sadly there is not much air in them. sad

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:26:09

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee

I seriously doubt she ate a whole block of cheese.

I can't say for definite that she ate the whole block but it was brand new and not been opened and I saw the empty wrapper in the bin so ...

I did make dinner for her before and bought her a chocolate treat too and gave her a can of pop too. Because I didn't want her getting hungry.

When we left she was eating the dinner, so I said if you get hungry help yourself.

My fault. I'm just a little shocked that someone could eat a whole spaghetti plate (wasn't in the bin so assumed she liked it), a whole bag of malteasers, half a cake and a whole block of cheese.

EuroShagmore Mon 21-Jan-13 17:27:01

Crikey that is a lot of food!

TwllBach Mon 21-Jan-13 17:28:22

Do you think she grated the cheese on to the spaghetti?

I realise that's not helpful...

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:28:55

I doubt she ate a whole block of cheese, unless it was a small one.

I imagine someone else opened it before she came, DH or Dc?

No ... I finished off the packet when making the dinner and double checked there was another pack left in the fridge.

BornInACrossFireHurricane Mon 21-Jan-13 17:31:12

I think the whole block of cheese is weird (some on her pasta, yes, but a whole block?) but can understand the cake and diet coke grin

HoppityFrog Mon 21-Jan-13 17:32:22

When I used to babysit, most families I didn't know well would put a few snacks and a drink out on the side and say to help myself to that, maybe do that next time.

manicbmc Mon 21-Jan-13 17:33:00

Does she have an eating disorder? hmm

What a lot to eat. I used to baby sit about that age and was also told to help myself which I took to mean to a cup of coffee and a couple of digestives.

HoppityFrog Mon 21-Jan-13 17:33:18

Are you sure she didn't have some friends over too actually? a WHOLE block of cheese and half a cake seems an awful lot for one person to get through

Glossynotflossy Mon 21-Jan-13 17:34:44

Wow op thats a generous rate
i used to get a tenner for around the same rate. I was too frightened to eat amd drink lots even though it was a help yourself situation.

Ybu by the way . Its along time to go without food

QuickLookBusy Mon 21-Jan-13 17:35:20

Oh well, I really wouldn't worry about it.

It's not the ended of the world.

tackies Mon 21-Jan-13 17:36:04

Tis a bit much, especially the cheese, id never finish something off like thAt, bit rude imo

CheeseStrawWars Mon 21-Jan-13 17:36:14

Bulimics binge and purge - typically with high fat and high sugar foods. Have a quiet word with her mum if you're genuinely concerned about the girl...

aderynlas Mon 21-Jan-13 17:37:46

Do you have mice op grin sorry ive just worked out how to use the smiley faces and couldnt resist wink.

Mollydoggerson Mon 21-Jan-13 17:37:49

Regardless of amount of food, YABU, you told her to help herself, she did.

I also think (while it's alot), teenagers can eat loads, especially when bored and when given free reign of a foreign fridge.

AuntieMaggie Mon 21-Jan-13 17:38:04

I can't imagine her eating a block if cheese on its own... are you sure the wrapper in the bin isn't from the one you used or she didn't make a sandwich?

ihearsounds Mon 21-Jan-13 17:39:07

I have put a whole block of cheese on my dinner before. As well as salt, pepper and chilli. Not because I am greedy. But because the dinner wasn't that nice and I was starving. Wasn't able to get anything else to eat, so was that or starve.

Nobody eats a whole block of cheese, half a cake, and a couple of glasses of coke after eating a plate of spaghetti and a bag of malteasers in one night, because they are actually hungry.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:43:02

Not because I am greedy. But because the dinner wasn't that nice and I was starving. Wasn't able to get anything else to eat, so was that or starve.

What are you trying to say ihearsounds ?! That my spaghetti dish wasn't very nice?!

How bloody dare you. I am an excellent cook grin

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:44:09

And no I emptied the bin before we went out Maggie

That's why it would have been easy to spot if she'd thrown her dinner away which she hadn't.

And it was easy to spot the wrapper.

Did she have a boyfriend round? Half a block of cheese sounds a lot!

Mind you, my best friend and I used to babysit my cousin, and my aunt used to leave us a 2 ltr bottle of Coke - we'd no problem downing that.

For the next time get posh/blue cheese that teenagers don't like...

I used to babysit for a couple where the wife was French and the food in the fridge looked too exotic for 18 yr old me to fancy (my palate has developed though, nowadays I'd hog the lot) so I used to have just a cuppa and a slice of toast when the kids were in bed.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 17:45:39

Ybu by the way . Its along time to go without food

Really?

Because I gave her dinner at 8pm and she also ate the chocolate I gave her.

You surely can't get that hungry after eating dinner?

iwantanafternoonnap Mon 21-Jan-13 17:51:28

I was working a 12 hour shift the next day and my mum was having DS so they didn't get up at silly o'clock time for me to go to work.

Person is part of a single parent group and I thought I would help someone out that might not have gone out otherwise.

Never ever again...well not for her anyway. Total bloody rudeness.

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 17:51:35

I always used to be starving when babysitting. I wouldn't have been used to being up so late/having free reign of the kitchen/babysitting boredom.

iwantanafternoonnap Mon 21-Jan-13 17:52:20

I could eat a whole cake in one evening as I am a fat, greedy moobag! grin

Babysitters perks I reckon !

How much cheese, how big was the cake ?

Could be she put quite a lot of cheese on the pasta when you went out, I like cheesy pasta too !

You did say help yourself after all. I always say the same to our lovely babysitter.
I wonder if that's enough or if I should plate them up a nice supper like some of the Mums did when I used to babysit as a teenager (and like you did tbf). Another house was very weird with nothing edible to be found anywhere in the kitchen. Not even biscuits shock grin

SpicyPear Mon 21-Jan-13 17:53:27

I could easily eat that much, but I have an eating disorder (well, in recovery). That's a lot even for a teenager and if she did eat it all, I'd say with some confidence that she has or is on the way to an ED sad

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 17:55:54

Actually, that's a thought. Plenty of teens are anorexic, maybe get one of them next time? No need to count the biscuits and give an Internet report then...

Check your bread, bet she scoffed the cheese on toast ! mmmm......cheesy toast

MolehillAlchemy Mon 21-Jan-13 18:01:04

5 hours, 2 glasses of coke, cheese and half a cake? Slim pickin's!

AuntieMaggie Mon 21-Jan-13 18:02:26

The thing is the dinner may have been enough for you but carbs do funny things to some people (I'm one of them) and an hour after a really carby meal I would be really hungry.

SpicyPear Mon 21-Jan-13 18:03:05

I like your thinking Apocalypse. Get yourself over to the MSE boards with that tip on how to keep the cost of night out down.

It is slightly laughable .... shock horror teenage babysitter eats lots of cheese, half a cake, and a bottle of diet coke before I get back at 1 am ! shock

Sorry OP, but perhaps you could be more generous spirited ? - and remember what it was like to be a teenager ?! smile (smile is just to show it's meant very light-heartedly)

Hesterton Mon 21-Jan-13 18:04:32

that is quite a lot of cheese and cake, it has to be said, specially on top of spaghetti and maltesers.

I woul agree she may have been a touch on the gluttonous side.

Your paid her fairly. If she's a good sitter though, I'd take the guzzling on the chin.

p.s. Are you sure she wasn't giving the children a snack?

LegoAcupuncture Mon 21-Jan-13 18:04:32

I used to babysit for a lady when she went to church for three hours. She locked the kitchen door so I couldn't even get in, never mind have cake and cheese.

How big was your block of cheese?

Hesterton Mon 21-Jan-13 18:04:55

My god so many errors, I apologise.

I could've eaten much more than that at 15 in an evening! YABU I'm afraid, she probably didn't realise that it would seem a large amount to you as most teens I know eat a hell of a lot! One of my explorers could have polished off the cake, bolognaise, bottle of coke and more in one sitting I reckon hmm Especially the girls grin

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 18:06:15

5 hours, 2 glasses of coke, cheese and half a cake? Slim pickin's!

What?

I made her dinner and left her chocolate for afterwards too.

And then on top of that a whole block of cheese and half a cake?

The cake btw was one I made myself as I was experimenting for a friends birthday next week - so I made it with three layers, with cream and buttercream filling etc. It wasn't a tiny little shop bought cake.

And this is only the things I've noticed that she's eaten. But if you really consider that to be "slim pickin's" then wow.

zukiecat Mon 21-Jan-13 18:07:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 18:09:16

ApocalypseThen

Actually, that's a thought. Plenty of teens are anorexic, maybe get one of them next time? No need to count the biscuits and give an Internet report then.

I know this is AIBU and so I should expect harsh comments, but this one is really harsh.

It was a light hearted thread anyway. I'm just a little shocked that someone could eat that much in one sitting.

You should really read your comment back and see how harsh and unfair it is.

AuntieMaggie Mon 21-Jan-13 18:09:49

How old are your dcs?

RandallPinkFloyd Mon 21-Jan-13 18:10:13

A packet of crackers and I could see off a block of decent cheese without batting an eyelid!

Not sure I could manage half a cake but as a teenager I could probably munched my way through it absentmindedly.

I was skinny then too. Those were the days!

Maybe Apolcalypse's post was meant light-heartedly too ? Humour is a funny thing as they say ! (especially on t'internet) I'm sure she wasn't being entirely serious that's for sure smile

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 18:12:49

You should really read your comment back and see how harsh and unfair it is.

Calling a teen a pig isn't really lighthearted, she'd be humiliated beyond belief if she knew about this. You might think it comes across as lighthearted, but I don't think it does.

LadyMargolotta Mon 21-Jan-13 18:13:01

Seriously though, it could be that she has some sort of eating disorder.

AmberLeaf Mon 21-Jan-13 18:13:40

But you said help yourself to food and she did.

YABU.

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 18:14:44

You're right, I wasn't being entirely serious, but I do think the OP is being hard on this poor girl. Having a midnight feast whole babysitting is the done thing, it sounds quite sweet and innocent to me.

MolehillAlchemy Mon 21-Jan-13 18:14:46

To be fair, you didn't mention the meal and Maltesers in your OP. But still, a teenager with a whole 5 hours to kill and with permission to help herself, I think YABU.

Lavenderhoney Mon 21-Jan-13 18:15:53

Maybe she was eating to stay awake? If you say help yourself then she did, which is ok. Maybe she likes cheese- I could easily nibble a block of nice cheese. Cake - pudding and she might have thought you left it for her anyway. Sounds like a lovely cake.

With coke though? Yuck, but I hate fizzy drinks. Maybe she isn't allowed enough to eat at home or is supposed to be dieting and you left a fridge full of tempting things!

Next time, tell her if shes not to eat something special. Otherwise you are lucky to have a nice babysitter.

So there were two cheese wrappers in the fridge then?
Are you sure she didnt give some of this food to DC? Or are they too small?

When we had babysitters we used to take the piss, saying we were hungry all the time, Used to get a row from Mum in the morning.

In the BIN is what I meant.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 18:23:01

No. I emptied the bin before we left.

FairyWingsAndFlyingThings Mon 21-Jan-13 18:29:34

Are you sure she dosen't have bulimia? I could definitely eat that much while on a binge/purge. A lot of bullimics are average or slightly over weight so it's tricky to tell, but some are still quite skinny.

Otherwise are you sure she didn't give your kids some of the cake? But even then an entire block of cheese is quie excessive. Maybe it's been misplaced?
Half a litre of coke isn't too bad.

BiteTheTopsOffIcedGems Mon 21-Jan-13 18:31:40

When we (my cousin and I) babysat as teenagers we were told to 'help ourselves' we did. We ate loads of food. Even sweets we found at the back of the cupboard that had gone all gloopy.

The kids mum asked my mum if we has eating disorders - we were very slim back then she said 'no, just greedy' smile

The kids mum didn't mind as she always said we could eat what we wanted as she knew we looked after her girls really well and loved them lots so it didn't matter.

runningtostandstill Mon 21-Jan-13 18:38:29

Of course it is greedy! And at 15 she should be old enough to know that help yourself is not supposed to be taken literally. Is she a large girl?

maraisfrance Mon 21-Jan-13 18:54:09

OP I think people are being a bit hard on you: I had an au pair once whom I seemed not to be able to make understand that a LARGE block of cheese or a bag of 8 avocados or a LARGE tub of hummous or three large tubs of yoghurt were designed to be shared between the three of us (we were a small household - one of us my three-year old son) and last the week. And that if the ingredients I had in mind for a meal had all been consumed by her by the time I got home, then obviously that was inconvenient and not designed to get the evening off on the right foot...anyway, I found it exasperating and a bit of a piss-take, TBH, so no, you are not being unreasonable, especially in light of good pay, a nice meal, and chocolate for the babysitter!

LynetteScavo Mon 21-Jan-13 19:09:52

Sorry if I seemed rude about the heating, but many a time in my babysitting days the heating clicked of at 11pm, and I shivered for a couple of hours under my coat, eating my way through ta weeks worth of chocolate trying to stay awake.

Stoned as a mofo clearly, she probably ate the block of cheese stuck to a fork. A cheese lollipop <happy stoned memories>

UniS Mon 21-Jan-13 19:13:13

Surely teenage babysitters are expected to eat their own body weight in biscuits?? ( or equivalent items if no biscuits to had).

I do tend to leave out a few bags of crisps next to the biscuit tin ( with a few choc biscuits in as well as normal " family " biscuits) and squash ( my Babysitters seem to not like tea), saying "do help yourself to any of these"...

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Mon 21-Jan-13 19:18:23

Maybe she was due on? When I'm due on i could eat you out of house and home.

Next time just put a tray with snacks she can have on it.

Campari Mon 21-Jan-13 19:25:26

The kids probably had some aswell. Don't be so horrified.

Schmoozer Mon 21-Jan-13 19:53:50

I also am suspicious of eating disorder here,
Tread carefully,
She will be devastated if she knows you know,
Have a tactful word with the mum,
And please make sure the mum is tactful !

JumpingJackSprat Mon 21-Jan-13 20:03:51

next time dont invite her to help herself if you dont actually mean it and youre just going to bitch about her later. the greedy pig comment didnt come across lighthearted.

ConfuzzledMummy Mon 21-Jan-13 20:04:40

Maybe get a lock on the fridge next time biscuit

BeanJuice Mon 21-Jan-13 20:07:20

I don't think YAB that U to be honest - 'help yourself' isn't an invitation to eat THAT much

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 20:13:24

Ah she's a kid though, you can't expect her to interpret "help yourself" like an adult.

BeanJuice Mon 21-Jan-13 20:19:57

15 is hardly a kid is it?! I was 15 not very long ago at all and wouldn't have interpreted it like that.

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 20:24:01

I think most 15 year olds would take "help yourself" at face value and wouldn't consider that it actually means "guess what I think would be reasonable and then restrain yourself. I'm watching..."

SugarMouse1 Mon 21-Jan-13 20:43:44

Do you mean that she ate the spaghetti dish and maltesers AS WELL?

I could never eat that much food!

BTW, is this girl fat or skinny? She may have bulimia, they often binge eat and then purge!

mummysmellsofsick Mon 21-Jan-13 21:12:50

I once ate an unfeasible number of twix bars while babysitting blush

julieann42 Mon 21-Jan-13 21:27:31

I'm afraid my teen would get through that much....but probably wouldn't eat that much of some one else's food....althought she wouldn't hesitate to empty my cupboard

littlewhitebag Mon 21-Jan-13 21:33:12

My DD is 15 and as skinny as a pick. She could easily eat that much food as a snack - although she hates cheese so would never have eaten that! She can eat her own body weight in chocolate/cake/biscuits/crisps all washed down with copious fizzy pop.

PainSnail Mon 21-Jan-13 21:35:14

how old are your children? any chance they could be having midnight feasts whilst you're out?

BarredfromhavingStella Mon 21-Jan-13 21:45:16

YABU, I could eat that easily & could've done at 15 ( & I was positively waif like grin )
When I used to babysit at that age & was told to help myself I literally worked my way through the kitchen....

Flatbread Mon 21-Jan-13 21:52:26

It is taking the piss. At 15 she should know what is appropriate.

I would make sure next time that she is only given a food tray and no access to anything else.

TheCraicDealer Mon 21-Jan-13 21:59:30

I could still make a good shift at that lot, especially over 5 hours.

Oh and if someone made me a dinner I didn't fancy it'd go down the loo as soon as they were out the door. Binning it is an amateur mistake. Unless there's a chance of toilet blockage.

ILoveOnionRings Mon 21-Jan-13 22:02:17

Not sure with girls but I know my teenage son would have been more than able to polish off all of that and more and he is as thin as a rake.

Maybe she had some cheese with dinner, and then kept gong back for a bit more for a nibble, as you do.

TheCraicDealer Mon 21-Jan-13 22:05:40

What's with all the posters asking if she's "large"? Seriously? Newsflash- weight isn't always an indicator of appetite or the presence of an eating disorder. More than likely she's just a typical teenager who likes cake.

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 22:08:06

Yeah, I love the idea of humiliating her by concern trolling her mum (has she an eating disorder? Only, here's a list if all the things she ate in my house...) or showing her that her eating did not go unnoticed by leaving her a special tray of the amount of food that she can eat.

littlemisssarcastic Mon 21-Jan-13 22:08:17

Have skimmed through the whole thread, but all I need to know to ascertain whether YABU or not is;

How big was the block of cheese?

Was it 500g? A kilo? 5 kilos?

I don't think I can decide until I know the size of the block of cheese tbh.

TheCraicDealer Mon 21-Jan-13 22:17:08

Perhaps OP could get a picture of herself holding the empty cheese wrapper with a Daily Mail Sadface, while pointing at the bin.

Flatbread Mon 21-Jan-13 22:18:45

showing her that her eating did not go unnoticed by leaving her a special tray of the amount of food that she can eat

At 15 the girl should know that it inappropriate to eat a lot in someone else's house when you are there for work.

If she doesn't have a clue, the tray will do precisely that -let her know that her greediness was noticed and was not appropriate

Hopefully she will be more careful and considerate in future

HyvaPaiva Mon 21-Jan-13 22:20:15

Craic and the sadface grin

Hobbitation Mon 21-Jan-13 22:21:15

I probably would have done something similar at 15 if someone said "Help yourself to food" I would take it literally, not knowing how much food is "socially acceptable" to be seen to be eating.

Icelollycraving Mon 21-Jan-13 22:24:16

Be grateful she didn't find some booze to mix with the coke.
the craic dealer your post actually made me chuckle a lot.

bonnieslilsister Mon 21-Jan-13 22:25:58

I wouldn't mention it to her mum at all. Her mum would be embarrassed and would almost certainly tell her daughter.

My children would eat a huge amount if they were on their own for hours
they do anyway I would hate them to babysit for you.

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 22:26:41

Hopefully she will be more careful and considerate in future

Or walk out because she doesn't have to put up with that kind of thing.

Shriekable Mon 21-Jan-13 22:27:23

One of the joys of a night out is discovering what weird concoction my MIL has devoured whilst babysitting. She only does it about once a year so I guess she decides to make the most of it. She and FIL were here the other week; they came at 7pm and had already had dinner, but still managed to get through a packet of prawns, half a loaf of bread, 5 strawberry yogurts, 16 Quality Street chocs (yes I counted them, I see it as a sport), 2 packets of crisps, 2 tangerines, and 6 mini Choc rolls. Yikes!! I would have been puking all the way home. Maybe next time I should check her bag on the way out . . .

Flatbread Mon 21-Jan-13 22:32:20

Sure Apocalypse, she can walk out. And OP can get a load of other babysitters willing to work for £7 an hour and £10 for overtime with a home cooked meal thrown in. Without resorting to grabby behaviour.

Talk about an entitled attitude.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 22:33:28

Hopefully she will be more careful and considerate in future

Or walk out because she doesn't have to put up with that kind of thing.

What kind of thing exactly?

I cooked dinner for her and provided her with treats, I paid her over minimum wage and made sure she get extra after midnight, I left the heating on, I gave her free use of the iPad, she was picked up and dropped off by us, I gave her free use of the tv and gave her the code if she wanted to buy a film off sky movies.

I don't mean greedy pig in the nasty sense. When my DC's sneak chocolate I call them greedy little piggies and they just giggle - it's not meant maliciously.

I couldn't care less about her helping herself to more food if she was hungry but feel it was quite excessive.

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 22:34:51

Oh she can indeed. I'd say now if that kid knew about this thread, that's exactly what she would be doing as well.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 22:37:07

TheCraicDealer
Perhaps OP could get a picture of herself holding the empty cheese wrapper with a Daily Mail Sadface, while pointing at the bin

That's front page stuff that is. Not sure about the Daily Mail though, I'll see which paper offers me the highest amount before deciding.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Mon 21-Jan-13 22:37:22

Shriekable - Prawns?? grin They sound barking!! It's not that I find the amount of food that suprising, it's more that people feel OK about eating that much of someone else's food - it's odd.

DizzyZebra Mon 21-Jan-13 22:37:33

You told a 15 year old to help herself. It's your own fault.

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 22:37:40

I don't mean greedy pig in the nasty sense. When my DC's sneak chocolate I call them greedy little piggies and they just giggle - it's not meant maliciously.

You can say what you like about your own kids, but I think extending that to this girl is a bit much, and I think she'd be hurt and humiliated beyond belief if she knew this is how you see her.

The kind of thing I meant is going to her mother to complain in a backhanded way as suggested by some posters.

DizzyZebra Mon 21-Jan-13 22:38:54

And at least if she was eating she was actually in the house. I'd have been bored out of my brains and spent most of the night in the garden smoking.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 22:39:44

Oh come on Apocalypse I would say that a majority of threads in AIBU are about certain people - friends, mother inlaws, husbands etc.

It's not a rare or unknown thing for an AIBU thread to be about a certain person.

I'd rather have unbiased opinions as to whether this would be considered excessive because I was unsure.

It also never crossed my mind that she could be bulimic (although I don't think she is) but will certainly tactfully mention it to her mother.

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 22:40:41

It was rude of her to eat ALL the cheese. The cake and coke...meh.

theskyonasnowynight Mon 21-Jan-13 22:41:10

She was taking the P. £40 for those hours is good money (esp for an under 16) and you don't know what use someone is planning to put their food to.
I babysat a lot at that age and knew what side my bread was buttered - it doesn't take much imagination!

But don't complain to her mother. That's not very nice. Either don't use her again or when you do make it explicit what she can have (NOT in a "you greedy girl!" way just in a - you can have everything on the coffee table but we've got plans for the other food for tomorrow - way).

Teenagers eat loads...I think you got off light OP, she could have eaten all the cake, all the cheese and the full bottle of coke! My former teen would have 5 years ago!

Flatbread Mon 21-Jan-13 22:41:31

Lol. Yes, let her walk out. It seems OP has been more than generous.

I doubt the 15 year old would find such a lucrative gig elsewhere.

I should hope that if the 15 year old knew about this thread, she would be mortified and try to make it up to OP by being extra considerate next time

SashaSashays Mon 21-Jan-13 22:42:05

I could have easily eaten that at that age and was terribly thin and did not have an eating disorder. I used to eat 2 roast dinners with dessert (1 at mine, 1 at boyfriends) then get fish and chips on the way home.

On Saturday between about 6pm and maybe 1am, my DS of a very similar age ate:

Adult sized portion of chicken and rice
A cheese and pickle sandwich
8 bags of crisps
A selection box
A giant stuffed crust take away pizza with wedges and nachos
2 apples
Bag of toffee popcorn
Some bens cookies
Toast
And endless cups of tea, squash and diet coke.

To look at him you would think he barely ate. He would take 'help yourself' at face value and probably eat the entire cake and drink all the coke. He is always hungry. I only know what he ate from piecing together wrappers, it could have been more and that is quite normal.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 22:42:06

I can't imagine it's that different from any other ordinary night Dizzy - she had a tv, free internet, iPad and there are a couple of game consoles too, also I have magazines there too.

I can't see how that night could have been anymore boring than just an ordinary night tbh.

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 22:42:27

Apocalypse maybe she would be hurt but she has bad manners...she behaved quite badly imo. To eat ALL the cheese is just rude. It is greedy to eat all of something in someone else's fridge.

Devora Mon 21-Jan-13 22:44:27

Would have seemed like a normal night's babysitting to me at that age [stares dubiously at backside, product of a lifetime treating blocks of cheese as a light snack].

I'm a bit put off by posters asking if she's fat or thin. Why the hell are you asking? What would you deduce from that? Oh, and please please don't say anything to the mum. OF COURSE she'll tell off her daughter, who will be mortified in that devastating way that can crush you at 15. Just let it go: it's only a bit of cheese and cake.

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 22:44:31

Sasha I'm shock that you think it's normal for a teenager to take something like "Help yourself" at face value. Don't people teach their DC basic manners??

Unless a child had some kind of ASD I would assume that at 15 it means "Within reason"

Not ALL of it.

littlemisssarcastic Mon 21-Jan-13 22:45:10

So how much cheese was there? By not saying, I imagine it was one of them cheddar bricks, you know the ones the size of a matchbox. grin

DizzyZebra Mon 21-Jan-13 22:45:59

I should hope that if the 15 year old knew about this thread, she would be mortified and try to make it up to OP by being extra considerate next time

At 15, I certainly wouldn't have been doing that. I might have plastered the fact she'd called me a greedy pig everywhere and laid on thick about how much my feelings were hurt.

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 22:46:02

A whole block of cheese is not a normal snack. It's excessive and greedy.

Yes teenagers eat a lot...yes they get hungry...but that's no excuse for being grabby.

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 22:46:03

She's 15, MrsMushroom! She was told to help herself and she did. I'm not saying that she didn't eat plenty, but on the other hand, if 15 year olds have a reputation for perfect judgement, I'm not aware of it.

It's a bit of food. Calling her a greedy pig is too much in my opinion.

Feelingood Mon 21-Jan-13 22:46:12

So she and spaghetti with some cheese one....

Then possibly three house later she snaffled somematesers n cake.

Considering the time no much. Maybe you a bit bird like.

Peck peck...

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 22:48:04

I know she's 15 Apocalypse but that's not very young...it's young but not a child really. Kids of that age should know not to indulge their greed in other peoples fridges.

We ALL overeat at sometime....all of us have eaten too many crisps etc...but I don't think it's ok to assume that a 15 year old doesn't have enough judgement to hold back a bit when it's someone elses home.

TheCraicDealer Mon 21-Jan-13 22:48:07

I'm imagining you constantly updating the thread littlemiss and shouting, "HOW MUCH FUCKING CHEESE WAS THERE?!"

thehappycat Mon 21-Jan-13 22:48:15

boy that is greedy. when I used to babysit I used to feel mortified at taking a bag of crisps and a biscuit.
I agree with the leaving the tray out approach.
YANBU to object.

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 22:48:38

Feeling nobody puts an entire block of cheese on their pasta!

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 22:50:12

happyccat* it IS greedy isn't it? It's having ALL of what's there...that's just not nice. I was taught to share...leave something for others. Unless it was the last biscuit or whatever.

You just don't eat a whole packet of cheese....unless it's your own and you've a strong stomach.

Hobbitation Mon 21-Jan-13 22:50:28

I wouldn't have eaten the cheese but would have had a big chunk of cake and probably a few glasses of coke at that age. I was an only child and allowed to eat what I wanted at home, there was always loads of food and I didn't have to think about sharing, my parents never seemed to run out of anything.

I still (at 37) have to really consciously think now "What is an acceptable amount to take?" when food is being shared out/you help yourself from the middle of the table.

Hobbitation Mon 21-Jan-13 22:51:21

I was never taught the concept of greediness by my parents, you just ate what you wanted to eat, that was it.

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 22:55:22

Hobbit perhaps some people didn't grow up with as much food in the fridge as you did. Perhaps some people can afford to buy ONE packet of cheese a week and if the Dc "jut ate what they wanted" then nobody else would have any.

SashaSashays Mon 21-Jan-13 23:01:24

MrsMushroom you are of course implying I don't teach my children manners. I obviously do. I can guarantee a similar type conversation with DS though

Me: Did you eat any of their food?
DS : Yes x, y and a pack of Z
Me: You can't just tuck in to all someone's food like that
DS: its fine she said help yourself
Me: yes but she didn't mean eat an entire pack of Z
DS: honestly its fine, she's really nice and she said it sincerely. She's a mum she would have told me not to eat things if she didn't want me to
Me: she didn't mean eat all that though
DS: but she said it was fine?!!!!!
Me: but when someone says that they're just being polite they don't mean act like you do at home
DS: then she shouldn't have said it!
<I bang my head against wall>

Most teenagers are not that versed in the subtle nuances of British manners. They still think 'with respect' means just that and same can e said for help yourself.

DS probably has a similar view Hobbitation, he's allowed what he wants.

Don't be such a whinge and tell on her to her mother (because that is how she will view it). Lesson learned, next time there is a tray.

Hobbitation Mon 21-Jan-13 23:04:31

Yes of course MrsM - we weren't well off, but there was only me so there was more to be spent on me - I wasn't saying having a lack of awareness of what might be considered by others as greedy was a good thing, but that some people learn life skills earlier than others, even those that others may deem pretty basic, and some things are not learned until adulthood (if at all).

If someone is paying for a babysitter and a night out, it doesn't suggest to me that they are down to their last block of cheese...but anyway, I agree eating a whole block of cheese at someone else's house is a bit off, even for a teenager, the rest, not so much.

But if someone did and was otherwise ok as a babysitter it wouldn't bother me. If I knew someone had a tendency to raid the fridge though and leave me without essentials, next time I'd specify what I'd provided for them and not say "Help yourself".

Flatbread Mon 21-Jan-13 23:07:12

Sasha, at what age do you think your son will learn about appropriate social norms and gracious behaviour?

E.g., if there is unlimited soda and coffee/tea at the workplace will he gorge himself till someone officially reprimands him...because he has no clue about boundaries till they are clearly drawn?

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 23:07:37

sasha no....I'm not doing any such thing. I don't know you or your DC.

However....I WOULD expect a child of 15 to have enough self control not to eat ALL of anything.

I teach mine not to eat the whole pack of biscuits...or the entire cake....because that's just bad food management in terms of their health and my pockets!

I would think that any child who is allowed to consume whole packs of cheese as routine, is not going to be great hen they get into a house share at Uni.

littlemisssarcastic Mon 21-Jan-13 23:08:05

Good idea thecraicdealer grin

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 23:09:03

Flat exactly. in three years, your son Sasha will be at University or in the workplace.

How will he know not to scoff all the cakes at the meeting? Or all the takeaway when the housemates have a night in?

littlemisssarcastic Mon 21-Jan-13 23:09:20

SO HAVE WE WORKED OUT HOW MUCH FUCKING CHEESE THERE WAS YET??

<<Love a cheesy thread grin >>

Hobbitation Mon 21-Jan-13 23:11:00

Not everyone goes to Uni, MrsMushroom...

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 23:12:57

No Hobbit* which was why I said "OR in the workplace" and mentioned cakes at a meeting.

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 23:13:16

MrsMushroom, you're making it sound as though these kids are thieves rather than heedless teenagers, which I think is a bit unfair.

Are you sure that your DH didn't have a snack after dropping her home, before joining you in bed?

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 23:14:56

He was cheesybreathalysed and crossed off the suspect list.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 23:15:40

I haven't said anything to her mum and didn't intend to.

But then I had quite a few posters suggest she might be bulimic and so by saying I should perhaps tactfully say something to her mum just in case that makes me a whinge??

But if I ignore it and she does have bulimia what does that make me then?

Damned if I do etc

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 23:16:24

apocalypse but it's a bit unfair to take ALL of anything. Heedless teens shouldn't be rude when it comes to other people's homes and belongings. I never said anything about thievery.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 23:16:48

breatheslowly

Are you sure that your DH didn't have a snack after dropping her home, before joining you in bed?

No. I made myself a cup of tea and went to put the teabag in the bin and noticed the wrapper. DH was out driving whilst this was happening.

Hobbitation Mon 21-Jan-13 23:17:01

Not everyone works somewhere where there are "meetings" or free blocks of cheese/cake provided...

I must look into that as a requirement next time I change jobs.

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 23:17:39

Suggesting that they'd steal food from housemates is implying that they could be thieves.

TheCraicDealer Mon 21-Jan-13 23:18:08

More than a babybel, less than an Edam wheel, littlemiss. That's what I'm guessing.

Loving the idea of the OP's DH not wanting to admit he ate the cheese...my DP has frequently eaten sliced smoked cheese whilst driving, and he did drop the babysitter home. That's his window of opportunity, right there #cheesesleuth

littlemisssarcastic Mon 21-Jan-13 23:19:01

OP, I do believe you are forgetting something very important....

HOW MUCH FUCKING CHEESE WAS THERE?

I don't think I can attempt sleep until I know. grin

Hobbitation Mon 21-Jan-13 23:20:20

I bet it was a mini Catherdral city, lunchbox size, it's all been blown up out of proportion smile

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 23:20:42

Apocalypse I never said they'd STEAL from housemates...I suggested they may not realise the etiquette of sharing a takeaway and eat it all....especially if the poster's son who is unable to understand the idea of "help yourself" means SOME of the food and not all of it is anything to go by.

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 23:21:50

LittleMiss it was obviously this big

SpicyPear Mon 21-Jan-13 23:22:13

I wouldn't say anything to Mum as not sure it would be that helpful. But just pointed out the possible food issue as she might have a problem rather than being rude or 'greedy'.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 23:22:29

Can't remember the exact size of the cheese btw but it was bigger than the standard size pack.

SashaSashays Mon 21-Jan-13 23:22:35

I can't get worked up about this but to answer your question.

I imagine when he stops feeling hungry most of them time his appetite will become more controlled. I haven't said that he eats everything in sight. The boy goes to restaurants, friends houses, shops etc without consuming all the food available. He lives at home and doesn't eat everything, he has siblings, he knows how to and does share. I don't think he's greedy, greedy to me would be he ate 5 sandwiches in one sitting instead of having one waiting half an hour then looking for something else. At the moment he is a growing teen and is very hungry. I was the same at that age, it shortly subsided.

If someone says help yourself you should really be able to do so, if I say that I mean it. It's one of those irritating phrases you have to learn that people are very insincere about.

I won't deny him food if he wants it, I never have. I've managed to raise another functioning adult on this premise, as well as being brought up like this myself, so I'm not that concerned or certainly not a such as you both seem to be. All I'm saying is she's 15 she ate a block of cheese, big deal cut her some slack.

Flatbread Mon 21-Jan-13 23:23:40

I would be most pissed about the cake. If I spent hours baking and icing a cake, I wouldn't want a paid sitter devouring half of it. She is hardly a guest invited to a tea party.

Really rude and grabby.

ApocalypseThen Mon 21-Jan-13 23:24:31

Well no, you didn't use the word "steal", what you said was I would think that any child who is allowed to consume whole packs of cheese as routine, is not going to be great hen they get into a house share at Uni.

This suggests that they'd be stealing other people's food in a house share.

LovesGSD Mon 21-Jan-13 23:24:55

Sorry if this has been asked but could she have made the kids a snack? Toast on cheese?

TheCraicDealer Mon 21-Jan-13 23:27:56

As with all mumsnet threads, this has taken ion a dual dimension- an in depth discussion on child rearing in tandem with other posters pissing about in the background. About cheese.

I note the discovery of the cheese wrapper while he was dropping suspect A home. This means nothing- could've been a typical smash'n'grab job, dumped packaging in bin and ate it out of his hands. I'm on to him.....

littlemisssarcastic Mon 21-Jan-13 23:28:13

MrsMushroom Thank you!! grin

That would fit in with OP's description of 'bigger than a standard size pack'.

OP, YANBU, that is a newsworthy feat for anyone, let alone MN. A 15 year old girl....to consume that much cheese is completely amazing!!!

I am in awe of your babysitters cheese eating abilities. grin

I love a bit of cheese myself, but judging by MrsMushrooms exhibit, your babysitter loves cheese a lot!! grin

Flatbread Mon 21-Jan-13 23:29:41

Sasha, I grew up with very generous parents and an open kitchen for all guests.

But no way did I think that was a license to be grabby at someone else's house.

And what makes this situation even more inappropriate is that the girl was at her employer for the night...she should have exercised her best manners and judgement. Evidently she has none.

MrsMushroom Mon 21-Jan-13 23:34:55

Moral is. Hide cake and cheese from teenage babysitters. Provide coarse, leftover victuals such as those consumed by Oliver Twist...if you give them meat, they will grow... and grow strong.

Keep them hungry and they will bow down and your cheese supply will not dwindle.

AskSiri Mon 21-Jan-13 23:35:55

I love cheese, but I still could never eat just a standard block in one sitting that's just gross.

Also if I saw a homemade cake in the fridge then I wouldn't have eaten half of it on the off chance that it had been made for a certain reason.

frogspoon Mon 21-Jan-13 23:36:29

Several people have mentioned that the girl may be used to eating as she likes at home. It's also possible the opposite could be true.

Growing up portion sizes were strictly controlled and snacks and sweets were rationed. As a result going to other people's homes, including babysitting was the first opportunity that I had to eat without rationing and control.

If she is young and has little experience babysitting, she may just have wanted to make the most of the opportunity to eat cake etc, which she does't get at home.

Flatbread Mon 21-Jan-13 23:40:07

Or better still, do this

AskSiri Mon 21-Jan-13 23:42:03

frogspoon my cousins were the same.

They never had junk food in their house ever. When we would go to my Grandmas house she would have huge variety packs of crisps. My cousins would eat 4 or 5 packets in one sitting because they never got this kind of food back home.

ClippedPhoenix Mon 21-Jan-13 23:42:28

The moral of the story is look after your own kids then grin

Bunbaker Mon 21-Jan-13 23:45:20

"The greedy pig comment is a bit harsh but eating that lot is pretty greedy so YANB totally U. "

I think it is greedy as well. I'm amazed at the number of posters who don't think that is a lot of food. It's no wonder we are a nation of fatties.

bonnieslilsister Mon 21-Jan-13 23:46:21

Don't you just hate it when people go rooting in the bin for information/evidence

TheCraicDealer Mon 21-Jan-13 23:48:40

Have just remembered my best friend being found asleep on a sofa in another mate's house clutching a block of Cathedral Cheddar when we were students. One corner was chewed off. Your pizza thread reminded me AskSiri.

Viviennemary Mon 21-Jan-13 23:52:31

I think she was cheeky to eat that much food. But your payment was very generous. But if you said help yourself to anything you like she probably took it a bit too literally. Anyway next time get a padlock for the fridge.grin

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 23:52:37

Don't you just hate it when people go rooting in the bin for information/evidence

Sorry to disappoint you but I didn't. I's emptied the bin before we left and put in a new bin bag. Made myself a cup of tea and put the teabag in the bin and saw the wrapper.

frogspoon Mon 21-Jan-13 23:55:30

Also Hearts, have you checked the fridge for foil/cling film wrapped chunks. In my house we always take the wrapper completely off the cheese and wrap it in foil. It seems to last longer that way, but could easily get confused with something else wrapped in foil.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 23:55:49

I am being unreasonable about the coke and I'll definitely hold my hands up on that one.

But a spaghetti plate, half a large cake, a family size malteasers bag, a whole block of cheese is in my opinion an awful lot to eat.

And that's just the things I know she ate.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Mon 21-Jan-13 23:56:46

Yes I've checked frogspoon and there was definitely no cheese left inside the fridge.

GlobalNN Tue 22-Jan-13 00:04:32

It looks lie a case of munchies to me..grin

GlobalNN Tue 22-Jan-13 00:04:55

like

Bunbaker Tue 22-Jan-13 00:05:53

That's more than munchies. That's gluttony.

frogspoon Tue 22-Jan-13 00:07:25

Everything bar a whole block of cheese sounds plausible.

Dinner- spaghetti (topped with cheese)
Dessert- A slice (or two) of cake
TV nibbles- malteasers (easy to lose track of these)
Late night snack- A bit more cake

Yes it is quite a lot of food, but she did consume it over five hours.

She probably overstepped the mark a bit. You left a 15 year old (who may not be used to managing her portion sizes) to make a decision about how much was acceptable to eat and she got it wrong. She's 15, she'll learn, I would let it go.

BackforGood Tue 22-Jan-13 00:12:15

I find that incredibly greedy, and rude tbh.
I have a 16 yr old ds, who is going through a growth spurt and is permanently hungry it seems, and who likes to have 'supper' but there's no way he'd help himself to any more than a piece OK, possibly 2 of cake from someone else's house. As for the cheese shock

I thought that even before I saw mention of the spag bol and the maltesers. That really is bad. My dd (14) babysits and has a biscuit or 2 or maybe a bag of crisps, and wouldn't dream of eating anything else.

MrsMushroom Tue 22-Jan-13 00:13:23

Does anyone else really fancy a big bite off a block of Cheddar now? I never bite cheese from the block but I have a strong urge to do just that!

ApocalypseThen Tue 22-Jan-13 00:15:18

Yeah. I've turned the spycam the other way and disabled the fridge alarm. I have some equipment to reseal the pack too so it'll be the perfect crime.

MrsMushroom Tue 22-Jan-13 00:22:08

I'm off to the fridge then. Might find an entire trout or something. grin

Babybirdz Tue 22-Jan-13 01:17:02

Check the toilets for at sign of vomiting. Just saying could be a eating disorder. Seems large quantity of food.

Mimishimi Tue 22-Jan-13 01:20:57

Depends on how large the cheese was, YABU about the cake and coke.

cafecito Tue 22-Jan-13 01:48:10

I haven't read the whole thread, sorry- but...

a. you told her to help herself. My 15 yo sister could easily eat all of that and still complain she is hungry hmm

b. My first thought is an ED, perhaps bulimia, perhaps some kind of purging anorexia- VERY hard to stop if she started, maybe her spaghetti or maltesers was a trigger food and it set her off. Nobody would try and do this in someone else's home, if at all, likely she had little control really over it if that's the case- in which case you are being really mean posting such a thread.

however I imagine it's just the teenage munchies, coupled with boredom. I am impressed she left you half a cake,whichever way around it is.

Don't make a fuss over it, next time just have less cake around and maybe a whole load of fruit to snack on

HeartsAreEveryWhere Tue 22-Jan-13 03:43:17

cafecito it never crossed my mind that this girl has an eating disorder. Now it has been said I still don't think she does but ... I will keep an eye on her and may have words with her mum.

I would be being very mean if I knew she had an eating disorder and then complained. Surely you can see the difference?

And I already said I baked the cake as a trial thing as I am making another one for the weekend for a friend.

And we have loads of fruit in the house. I regularly do Jason Vale juice diet so will always have a wide selection of fruit in the kitchen.

I'm also unsure as to why everyone assumes she's bored? - there is a tv, loads of dvds, I told her to order a movie from sky box office if she liked the look of any, she had the use of the iPad, free wi-fi, she had her phone, we have a playstation and a wii, magazine etc. I also said she was more than welcome to bring a friend but she declined.

Surely that night can't be any less boring than an ordinary night in her own home.

MrsSchadenfreude Tue 22-Jan-13 06:54:13

Blimey! grin

I used to babysit a lot at that age, and the parents always used to say "help yourself to food." I understood this to mean, say, a couple of cans of Coke, a cup of tea, a few biscuits or a slice of two of cake. Maybe make a sandwich. Not "please go ahead and eat the entire contents of our fridge."

It is greedy, but it is also about manners and consideration for others. What if the cheese had been needed for packed lunches? I had an au pair who used to come down in the night and drink all of the milk in the fridge, eat all the bread, cheese, salami etc and leave us with nothing for breakfast or packed lunch. The first time she did it, I read the riot act about consideration for others. The second time, she was hauled unceremoniously out of bed at 0700 and despatched to the shops to replace what she had eaten. She didn't do it again.

For those of you who say "Oh mine do that at home, and it's fine" do you not teach them that it's not necessarily acceptable behaviour to do that in someone else's house? Personally, I wouldn't find it acceptable at home - if I am planning to cook lasagne for dinner, I would take a very dim view of coming home to find no cheese or milk.

CheeseStrawWars Tue 22-Jan-13 10:05:57

"It never crossed my mind that this girl has an eating disorder. Now it has been said I still don't think she does but ... I will keep an eye on her and may have words with her mum."

You can't judge something like bulimia based on what the person's weight is. If you don't spend much time with her then the usual giveaway signs like changes in mood, spending too long in the toilet after meals, general anxiety around food and social situations will be hard to spot. You might be able to notice things like:
* if her eyes are bloodshot
* if she has sore fingers and hands, particularly on the knuckles where teeth are likely to chafe against skin, from using her fingers to induce vomiting
* persistent sore throats/runny nose
* swollen glands

If you notice she's cleaned your toilet while you've been out, that would be a strong indicator that she's been using it to vomit in.

HeartsAreEveryWhere Tue 22-Jan-13 12:57:54

I've tried to listen to all opinions on here but CheeseStrawWars I never once mentioned her weight, even in the post you quoted me.

I know you cannot tell if a person has bulimia based purely on their weight. I'm not stupid and I've had an eating disorder in the past so I know the signs.

Wishihadabs Tue 22-Jan-13 13:15:11

TBH I reckon she had got up late (possibly 1or 2pm). So your spaghetti was "lunch" and the cheese (with bread/toast) was tea.
From 7pm till 1am it is quite normal to have 2 meals. If she ate 350g of cheese with no bread/crackers or similar that is weird.

If you notice she's cleaned your toilet while you've been out, that would be a strong indicator that she's been using it to vomit in.

Or she needed the worlds biggest pooh after stuffing herself silly grin

MajorBumsore Tue 22-Jan-13 14:54:20

What's a spaghetti plate?? confused
No one else seems confused; is this normal parlance in some areas?
<utterly misses point of thread>

MajorBumsore Tue 22-Jan-13 14:55:20

confused See how confused I am?

CheeseStrawWars Tue 22-Jan-13 15:01:00

I wasn't saying you had made a point about her weight, it was more a general point of information.

I find it odd that you say you've had an eating disorder in the past, and yet rather than "AIBU to think eating a whole block of cheese on top of a plate of spaghetti, bag of maltesers and half a victoria sponge cake a sign of disordered eating?" you ask "is she a greedy pig?"

That is quite greedy IMO.
When my DD babysits, I get her a pizza to take with her so she doesn't eat their food.
And my DD got £20 (at the age of 15) for sitting and staying overnight! She was very grateful as well. £40 - blimey - that's almost more than minimum wage. Lighthearted by the way peeps!

Sazzle41 Tue 22-Jan-13 15:26:28

I had a thriving babysitting business at 15 cos all my friends hated kids. Points to consider when you take on teenagers: they might love kids but a) teenagers are always starving, its the law b) she probably got bored & is new at it and didnt think to bring her tablet/kindle/book/homework to while away the hours .. Long ago and far away in a land called the 80's I could eat crap all day long and stay a size 8 .... sigh ..... the only good bit about being 15 tbh (well, to me)! Next time, get in some extra biscuits (thats what BOGOFF is for) - my babysitting circle always left out extra by the kettle and said help yourself to the biscuit tin or whats just baked as well as....

swimmingcat Tue 22-Jan-13 17:33:56

I don't think that it's an excessive amount. My teenager will eat that in an evening and will probably have a second helping of spaghetti if offered (though I do think he has hollow legs). It amazes me how he is still hungry after eating what I consider a fair amount. He is also slim.
They go through growth spurts and to him, he is just hungry. Maybe she did not have that much to eat beforehand?

cafecito Tue 22-Jan-13 23:45:08

yeah okay but I am surprised it didn't cross your mind she may have an eating disorder, they are extremely common unfortunately, and I think calling anyone a greedy pig is a bit mean- I wouldn't do it myself, no, but we don't know what is going on here. Don't mention any possible ED to her mother, and next time she babysits I wouldn't try and restrict her food either. Just keep an eye out- it is basic manners, but she is 15 and be it bulimia, boredom, comfort eating, hunger, whatever- is it that big a deal? if this behaviour persists a few more times, and if you notice things which give you absolute genuine concern, then it is the time to act, but not after a one off. And I would say always speak to the girl first, except when you really do know that she is vomiting as it can cause severe electrolyte disturbance and sudden death, among other things- in which case perhaps refer to her mother. Unless you don't want to get involved - new babysitter?

but in all likelihood she is like my sister and just eats lots sometimes, especially at night in front of the tv.

magso Tue 22-Jan-13 23:51:16

Ooh I remember baby sitting as a teenager and eating at least half a tin of home made cookies! Scrumptious they were too. Well they did say to help myself!

BrittaPerry Wed 23-Jan-13 00:05:07

I was a very skinny teenager, with no ED, and I ate like a pig. Eg if left to cook for myself, six waffles, full size tn of beans, two fried eggs, tin of rice pudding, couple of pints of soft drink would still leave me hungry a couple of hours later. I have no idea why I ate that much, but my sisters were the same. My mum must have spent an absolute fortune.

BrittaPerry Wed 23-Jan-13 00:06:20

I should add that Im not skinny now... It caught up with me :-)

greenfolder Wed 23-Jan-13 07:10:58

OP- teenagers eat like this! You sound lovely but teens will take you at your word. Help yourself means an empty fridge. I have 3 and keep everything non perishable in the car. Defo one of those things that you can't really understand until you own a teen. 5 years ago I would have written your post. Just thinking about their facebook status " 40 quid and as much as I can eat!"

Flatbread Wed 23-Jan-13 08:16:52

I never remember eating like this as a teen and I was a size 6 then and an 8 now (age 42)

If this is considered 'normal' for a 15 year old girl, no wonder we are a nation of fatties!

Healthy meals, eating lightly at night, minimal snacking, limited soft drinks etc. are habits that need to be inculcated early on. If a 15 year old girl eats a plate of a pasta, a full cheese and half a cake at night, I doubt she will have decent food habits later. My money is on her being a chunky adult.

emmyloo2 Wed 23-Jan-13 08:19:55

a whole block of cheese? Can you eat a whole block of cheese in one sitting? I don't eat cheese but that sounds like a lot.

That said - I always tell our nanny who babysits as well to help herself but she generally doesn't but I would like it if she did as I like it when people feel comfortable enough to eat my food. It sounds like you did go out of your way to feed her though, so perhaps she ate a huge amount in that context.

I would be surprised more than anything i think.

BackforGood Wed 23-Jan-13 19:48:22

No Greenfolders, anyone with any sort of manners, whatever their age, would not eat their way through someone else's house like that. Nor is it normal to eat a whole block of cheese.
Yes I have teens. My ds (16) will help himself to all sorts in our house but wouldn't be so rude as to do so somewhere else. Yes, his portion size of an offered cake would be bigger than most adults would have, but seriously - to take a block of cheese out the fridge an eat your way through it ? No way is that a normal teen (or otherwise) thing to do.

sherazade Wed 23-Jan-13 20:08:08

YABVU

I always let babysitters indulge themselves with the contents of my fridge.

It's the least I can do for the joy of a night out whilst the kids are safe and sound.

A trustworthy babysitter is worth his/her weight in gold, So I spoil mine.

Floggingmolly Wed 23-Jan-13 21:09:37

You are being really unreasonable checking the contents of the bin...

sherazade - or put that another way .... a good babysitter is worth her weight in cheese grin That's a Wallace and Gromit grin BTW smile - but it has to be Wensleydale grin

cerealqueen Wed 23-Jan-13 22:39:21

YANBU. I babysat when I was a teenager and no matter how big the block of cheese, you don't eat all the cheese that somebody has in the fridge, and half a three tier cake that was clearly home made, it's just rude, as well as greedy. She had been given dinner and chocolate already!

Is there a possibility your kids got up and helped her eat the stuff?

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