To feel trapped into paying for these things?

(46 Posts)
stormforce10 Sun 20-Jan-13 18:08:53

A neighbour came over and knocked on our door to say that they had some baby clothes they were going to take to a charity shop but they thought they'd fit DS so would I like them. They said to pop over for a cup of tea and i could go through them and pick out what I liked then they'd take anything left over to the charity shop so I did just that. There was a huge black sack of stuff which was mixed baby and adult stuff and she said to take anything I like as she didnt need it anyway. I picked out a couple of pairs of dungarees, some trousers, a jumper, a couple of tops and vests and a snow suit all in the size ds is just about to grow into.

Then she turned round and said "that's fine, I'll do the lot for £15". I said something like oh sorry I thought you were just getting rid of them and she said well if you don't want to pay I'll offer them to someone else. I ended up paying her £10 but it left me feeling really embarrassed and confused.

AIBU to feel upset? It would never cross my mind to charge a neighbour for something I was giving away anyway and I felt really trapped into paying confused

FreePeaceSweet Sun 20-Jan-13 18:11:01

Whoa. Stung. That's very cheeky. shock

GetOrf Sun 20-Jan-13 18:12:07

Cheeky bugger. I can understand why you felt embarrassed.

financialwizard Sun 20-Jan-13 18:12:20

If she hadn't mentioned money before I would have felt the same as you.

Trills Sun 20-Jan-13 18:13:16

She was going to take them to the charity shop - to give them away for free - that's what you do at charity shops.

FBmum Sun 20-Jan-13 18:13:21

YANBU. That's awful, especially if she was going to take anything you didn't want to a charity shop - did she expect to be paid for them there, too? I would have done the same as you as I would have been too embarrassed and shocked to do anything else, so don't beat yourself up about it - just be ready with an answer next time she offers! Either that, or the next time she calls round for a coffee, charge her! grin

greenpostit Sun 20-Jan-13 18:13:22

They tricked you. I hate that sort of behaviour.

Yanbu - you were nearly firm enough when you said you thought she was just getting rid. I would have given it all back to her and left.

MrsKeithRichards Sun 20-Jan-13 18:13:46

What a cheeky cow!

usualsuspect Sun 20-Jan-13 18:14:03

cheeky sod.

catgirl1976 Sun 20-Jan-13 18:14:14


That's so rude and grasping shock

INeedThatForkOff Sun 20-Jan-13 18:14:24

Did you like the stuff or just feel obliged to choose something? If you'll use it, cheeky as she was, a tenner isn't bad. I hate it when people do that though.

PurpleStorm Sun 20-Jan-13 18:14:35

YANBU - she should have made it clear that she wanted you to pay money for them to begin with.

Talking about the charity shop without saying something like "Would you like a chance to buy these before I take them to the charity shop" is bound to create confusion.

Cailinsalach Sun 20-Jan-13 18:14:42

She done you like a kipper.
Could you invite her over for coffee and a biscuit and charge her £5 and when she complains say innocently "but isn't that what you did""

TeamEdward Sun 20-Jan-13 18:14:47

That is really cheeky of your neighbour! I'd feel pressured to pay too.
On the other hand, sounds like you got quite a lot for £10!

DameFanny Sun 20-Jan-13 18:15:41

Yanbu - very cheeky! On the bright side you've got a snow suit for a tenner but even so...

That's really bloody cheeky. I'd like to think I'd have said I'd leave it thanks but I know I would have paid up too and fumed about it for the next year.

Binfullofresolutionsfor10thjan Sun 20-Jan-13 18:15:56

Awfully rude behavior on their part. Chalk it up as a life experience. And eBay the stuff when your DC grows out of them so you make the money back. wink

Nagoo Sun 20-Jan-13 18:16:03

wowser. YANBU you were trapped!

miggy Sun 20-Jan-13 18:16:17

That's horrible of her, can see why you feel cheated. What a mean spirited thing to do on her part.

Booyhoo Sun 20-Jan-13 18:16:40

you're an idiot! why the hell did you pay?

fourfingerkitkat Sun 20-Jan-13 18:17:54

YANBU. Whilst you did get a lot for your money grin she completely misled you. Chalk it up to experience and don't let her get the better of you again.

fourfingerkitkat Sun 20-Jan-13 18:18:46

Booyhoo - think the OP feels bad enough as it is without being called an idiot !

HecateWhoopass Sun 20-Jan-13 18:19:04

Good god. I'm having proper deja vu.

This has happened to someone else on here before. There was a massive thread about it. I wonder if your neighbour is the same person. It's bloody outrageous. You didn't have to give her anything at all.
Sorry, I thought you were giving these to me. Youd better find someone else to sell them to,

I suspect that she did it counting on you feeling exactly as you did.

ENormaSnob Sun 20-Jan-13 18:19:15

Cheeky bastard shock

sausagewallet Sun 20-Jan-13 18:19:48

Cheeky mare.

Someone asked me once if I'd like a futon bed for my DS as they were having a clear out and had no need for it anymore. I said "yes please", she said "I only want twenty quid for it"!

OkayHazel Sun 20-Jan-13 18:20:26

I'd have sent her packing.

HecateWhoopass Sun 20-Jan-13 18:21:21

Actually. Scratch suspect. I KNOW she did

I was going to give them to the charity shop but wondered if you wanted them

How else is that going to be interpreted?

She did indeed stitch you up.

DontmindifIdo Sun 20-Jan-13 18:21:26

well, on the bright side you know she's a cheeky cow and it only cost you a tenner to find out. Polite but distant from now on!

stormforce10 Sun 20-Jan-13 18:21:54

booyhoo because I'm an idiot of course grin. Also because I suspect our children will grow up playing together and it wouldn't do for there to be tension between their parents

ah well he's about to grow out of current snow suit so would have had to buy one anyway.

hermioneweasley Sun 20-Jan-13 18:22:02

She's a cheeky madam, but at £10 that was a worthwhile and relatively cheap lesson to learn.

Nagoo Sun 20-Jan-13 18:24:36

OP you aren't an idiot, you've got items that you will use, and at a reasonable price. It's just the way the neighbour phrased it made you think she was giving them to you.

Astley Sun 20-Jan-13 18:27:16

This has happened to me. It was mortifying. I ended up paying exactly what she wanted too, just because I didn't want to make a fuss and have things be awkward in the future hmm

JumpingJackSprat Sun 20-Jan-13 18:30:16

nobody made you give her the money. you could have said sorry i havent got any cash and left. you allowed it to happen.

pippop1 Sun 20-Jan-13 18:34:52

And of course will never even do it again.

I expect if she had not charged you, you would have taken her a box of chocs or something over to say thanks?

pictish Sun 20-Jan-13 18:36:09

You see, I'm not as polite as some of you...or maybe I'm just more skint, but I'd have said 'oh made it sound as though you were giving them to me, not selling them, so thanks but no...I don't want them if I have to pay for them'

Then I'd leave with my nose in the air.

FreePeaceSweet Sun 20-Jan-13 18:39:07

Yeah you aren't an idiot at all hmm. She should have been upfront. There's nothing wrong with trying to make back some cash. Just don't be a dick about it.
I am very generous with my outgrown stuff or things we no longer have any use for. I gave a friend a wardrobe, book shelf, bread bin for her rice, my old ipod shuffle and numerous amounts of shoes for her kids. She offered me some curtains and bedding which I happily accepted. No mention of money at all. We sat there having a brew and I noticed she was getting tetchy. When I asked her what was up she said "Well, are you going to pay me or what? Forty quid." I was astounded. No money had been mentioned at all. I asked her if we could strike a deal because of everything I'd given her in the past and she said no. So I turned her "generous" offer down. Then she had the cheek to say "I can't afford to just give stuff away like you can". Cheeky bitch. She was the one benefiting. I never did get the curtains and bedding. She didn't get any more of my stuff.

Crazycake Sun 20-Jan-13 18:50:10

Is your neighbour my sister in law? Kinda thing she'd do hmm

stormforce10 Sun 20-Jan-13 18:53:16

If she'd said she needed to make a bit of cash and wondered if I'd like to do a deal on some baby clothes for DS before she put them on ebay I'd probably have agreed to it and been quite happy.

Ah well lesson learnt. Just wish she'd been up front from the start

wriggletto Sun 20-Jan-13 19:15:18

You should have said, 'Fair enough - should I give the tenner to Oxfam or The Dogs' Trust? Which charity shop were you giving them to, again?'

mumzy Sun 20-Jan-13 19:45:22

She might have got a tenner off you but has lost your trust and goodwill. You're probably wary of her now and not keen to do her favours in future. I know what I'd rather have!

VenusRising Sun 20-Jan-13 19:48:58

Jeepers, I think you did really well for a tenner.
Having said that, she was a bit cheeky.
However, now you never have to speak to her again, and can hide beside the privet hedge and mutter under your breath when she walks past on her way to dupe another neighbour...

Squeakygate Sun 20-Jan-13 19:55:29

Someone once did a very similar thing tp me. Sent a text round to people saying, does anyone want x -its free as cluttering up my hall.
I replied no but a friend of mine might like it as just had new unexpected addition to the family.
A week later, she handed it over saying, it's £15. I wasnt expecting that at all as she said it was free.
I took it but said, i will return if they cant afford it. I just returned it as i felt i couldnt ask friend for £15 as she might have thought i was on the make from her.
There are lots of cheeky folk about!

lljkk Sun 20-Jan-13 19:56:54

That is foul.

LittleBearPad Sun 20-Jan-13 19:59:34

Definitely cheeky.

Shaky Sun 20-Jan-13 20:00:33

The cheeky cow, YANBU! I would have been mortified into giving her the money too

Bogeyface Sun 20-Jan-13 20:05:12

If she'd said she needed to make a bit of cash and wondered if I'd like to do a deal on some baby clothes for DS before she put them on ebay I'd probably have agreed to it and been quite happy.

Thats the difference isnt it? If she had been upfront and said she was planning to sell them and did you want first dibs then ok. But to tell you on the one hand that she is giving them away for free to a charity shop and offer you a rummage THEN charge you, is not on.

I dare you to tell her that you got £40 for them on eBay grin

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