Aibu to think Dh spoilt the cake?

(36 Posts)
ChandlerBingsNubbin Sun 20-Jan-13 16:42:27

Spend ages doing a giraffe cake for ds' 5th Bday. Get it all finished and iced, and dh, who for some reason thinks he is Jamie fucking Oliver, comes along and goes to dust some coco powder on it, why I don't know, but he just chucks half the box over the middle of the cake. It looks crap, he is now in a bad mood, since I asked why he could not just leave it alone, he always has to bloody well fiddle with stuff when I'm cooking or doing something. It is very annoying. I spend all day on the cake for him to come along and chuck a load of bloody coco powder over it. It now looks like it has some sort of skin condition since he has sort of mixed it in with the icing!

LadyMaryQuiteContrary Sun 20-Jan-13 16:43:49

sad Can you go over it with food colouring?

Leave the bastard.

Something is seriously wrong in your relationship if you think he is deliberately ruining the food you make.

LittleBoSqueak Sun 20-Jan-13 16:44:27

Use a hairdryer on a cool setting to blow it off or a clean paint brush etc?

I would be annoyed too! Did he ask you if he could do this?

ChandlerBingsNubbin Sun 20-Jan-13 16:54:00

Oh, I don't think he did it on purpose, but he worked as a "chef" ie he worked in a kitchen for all of 2 months when a student so he has, you know culinary experience! I spent ages getting the colour for the icing right so it was a sort of orangey giraffe like colour, then put a load of spots on with chocolate butter cream...but he always thinks whatever I do needs a little bit more!

If he thinks that when he is cooking fine, but I get fed up of cooking to find him just adding something or other to it as he thinks it will be nice. It was nice before!

Ooh he's a spoonyfucker. LTB.

ChandlerBingsNubbin Sun 20-Jan-13 16:56:01

Although tbf, I messed the eye up, made it too small, and too far forward, then to make it look more like an eye tried to add eyelashes. Looks more like a spider crawled on there and died tbh!

Poor ds. He should have stuck with the Goldfish cake he originally wanted!

AreYouADurtBirdOrALadyBird Sun 20-Jan-13 16:58:44

Have you got an unused blusher brush? That would be soft enough to brush off the cocoa.

HumphreyCobbler Sun 20-Jan-13 17:02:22

This would make me rage, however much he didn't mean it.

AnneTwacky Sun 20-Jan-13 17:12:43

Your DS will still love it. He won't notice the eye or the cocoa powder.

BRMC28 Sun 20-Jan-13 17:17:59

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Absolutely agree with the spoonyfucker diagnosis. Pop his knackers in your food processor.

StuntGirl Sun 20-Jan-13 17:27:25

Agree with humphrey, and the spoonyfucker diagnoses. You have to kill him, it's your only option.

NoelHeadbands Sun 20-Jan-13 17:28:36

Yy spoonyfucker and cheffytosser

ChandlerBingsNubbin Sun 20-Jan-13 17:29:13

Yes ds is still very happy with his cake, he wants to eat the head!

Dh has not been drinking, he rarely drinks tbh.

He just had this idea in his head that he would make it look "better" and instead messed it up.

But the cooking thing, I actually stopped doing any cooking for about 6 months a few years back, as I got fed up oh him adding a dash of this or that to make it better! So I get irrationally annoyed now when he messes with my cooking!

it is an unwritten rule, baking, Yorkshire puddings, gravy and roasties are MINE TO DO and he does not get involved unless expressly invited. Usually I get him to measure everything out as he has a freaky eye and 9/10 gets it spot on without trying. He has now broken this rule so I shall have to wait till he is asleep and put toothpaste on his eyebrows or something.

I am now refusing to cook tonight at all, and demanding take out.

aaarrgghhangry ! This kitchen shit infuriates me! my dh has but one flaw, and it is following me into the kitchen, two steps behind, stirring this, adding a dash of thatangry leave it a bloody lone you interfering old sod!
One memorable occasion was when I thought there was.something wrong with slowcooker as everything tasted odd, on speaking to dh he advised its probably because I had not been putting enough sugar in things, and as I'm sooo funny about him adding things he was only putting a pinch in himself. Dickgrin

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sun 20-Jan-13 17:31:15

Yes he did - ban him from meddling with your efforts.

However, couldh't you just switch a fan onto full power to blow the cocoa powder off?

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird Sun 20-Jan-13 17:32:27

I bet he adds salt to your cooking when you are out of the room too doesn't he? But adjusting a decorated cake is really crossing a line. You need some rules and you need to make them absolutely clear. He does NOT get to be the wronged party in this one.

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird Sun 20-Jan-13 17:33:52

Ah x post! You're there already smile

Send him to spoons fuckers anonymous!!! I bloody hate it when the men interfere!!!!

ChandlerBingsNubbin Sun 20-Jan-13 17:36:21

He sort of stirred the cocoa powder into the icing after I had erm... calmly asked what one earth he thought he was doing, so it will have to stay like that now!

It is like for DS's 1st birthday, I did a rubber duck cake, a standing up one, took me 12 hours that fecker did. Got it all iced, looking brilliant, made a little pond, Dh iced the pond for me, as I was still working on the cake and then it was all "look at the cake we made" from him. WE!!? hmph

Mind you, he does do me heart shaped eggs to go in my bacon and egg sarnies he makes me on my birthday or valentines day.

PessaryPam Sun 20-Jan-13 17:39:27

I am married to an opinionated spoonyfucker and yesterday we had friends round and we did a pot of food each. I contributed 0 helpful comments to his effort. He contributed circa 10 unhelpful comments to mine. I have more or less given up cooking now, the kids think I am a slut but I can't take the continual input. If he knows better he can fucking well do it! Arrrrgggghhhh!

PS the guest ate both his and mine and liked it.

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird Sun 20-Jan-13 17:41:54

Do as I do. Embrace the fact that he likes cooking and let him get on with it while you get on with mumsnetting important things.

Please explain the term spoonyfucker?

ripsishere Sun 20-Jan-13 17:45:29

My DH has the potential to be a spoonyfucker (I think). He seldom cooks, generally his signature dish - roast chicken is done on Sundays while I take the girl to the cinema.
Today he didn't fancy cooking hmm. As a rule, he stays out of it, sometimes though and with increasing frequency he sidles up to me as I dish it up. He is groaning more and more like his weaslyingratiating father.

ripsishere Sun 20-Jan-13 17:45:53

growing.

HollyBerryBush Sun 20-Jan-13 17:48:45

I find waving a big butchers knife round whan I'm in the kitchen makes every one back away grin

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Sun 20-Jan-13 17:50:30

Oh he would have heard all about it, I would have been pissed off to the MAX. You just don't muck about with something someone else has made, it's rude at best... and especially something as creative as a cake. Twat needs telling - properly.

Spoonyfuckers fuck with your cooking, often with a spoon but not always

PessaryPam Sun 20-Jan-13 17:53:48

Yes the spoon is optional but the intent is to fiddle.

MyThumbsHaveGoneWeird Sun 20-Jan-13 17:54:22
MrsLouisTheroux Sun 20-Jan-13 17:57:16

DH used to go into the kitchen and turn the oven right down (almost off) to "prevent burning" when I was baking. I can feel the rage just thinking about it.

I almost snapped DD's head off yesterday for a spot of spoonyfuckery - I'd just finished decorating a fab cake with the orange Doctor Who logo, all carefully-blended icing and carefully painted lettering, it took me three hours. And while I was finishing it off, she took the leftover icing and rolled it out and cut out the (wonky) letters of her name to go on the cake.

Luckily I caught myself before I said anything. It was her birthday cake, after all. blush

And it still looked fab, slightly wonky letters and all. grin

Alibabaandthe40nappies Sun 20-Jan-13 17:59:02

Jesus I would have injured him I am sure!

I spent a day last summer icing DS1's birthday cake, I was so bloody proud of it and if ANYONE had done anything to it I would have chopped their hand off.

RuleBritannia Sun 20-Jan-13 18:06:42

My DH was a superb cook but when he moved in, we had an agreement. If I cooked, he would make no comments and wash up afterwards. If he cooked, I would make no comments and wash up afterwards. the only thing we disagreed on discussed was greens. He liked a cabbage cut up and boiled a little. I liked it boiled and mashed emptied into a colander and cut into tiny pieces with a 'cabbage chopper'. I let him do most of the cooking because washing up is therapy.

I'm no good at icing cakes.

ChandlerBingsNubbin Sun 20-Jan-13 18:20:43

Well, dh has cooked the kids dinner, and we are having take out!

He now understand the error of his ways!! Cakes are MINE!!!! He will be lucky if I let him eat any.

I am no expert when it comes to decorating cakes, but I try! And I like to make them cakes for their birthday and they chose what they want. And Ds has never once looked at all disappointed that it looks nothing like the cake we found on google!

Ds has just made me up a love song and proclaimed his love for the cake too.

I have calmed down somewhat!

It is only me, dh and the 2 children who are here anyway, as we live abroad, so was not to be used for a proper party, luckily.

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