To think refusing to walk in the snow because you're pregnant is a little ridiculous?

(253 Posts)
Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 16:36:12

OK you can all slate me if you want as I haven't been pregnant myself and am only basing this on instinct rather than any fact.

However a friend and colleague of mine is 13 weeks pregnant and has been 'banned' by her dh from walking anywhere while it is snowy, including to work which is a 15 min walk for her. They don't drive so she has been housebound all weekend. We live in london so it's not a case of 10 feet drifts. She is quite happy to go along with this, and is planning on getting a taxi tomorrow instead. I'd have personally thought that driving in the snow with an unknown driver is more dangerous than walking.

I know this is non of my business really, it's just that I'm getting a but fed up with her extreme preciousness since she's been pregnant (she was generally sane before!). I've had a number of friends and colleagues who have been pregnant and I've never been irritated by them being cautious about various things before. It's just her and her constant pfb behaviour before they are even here that is driving me mad!

Ok rant over, and as I said you can all give me a virtual slap if you like.

rubyslippers Sun 20-Jan-13 16:37:59

i am cautious walking in the snow and ice and im not pregnant

falling when pregnant can be a worry and who wants that?

don't be so mean

sei Sun 20-Jan-13 16:38:38

YANBU. My sister is doing exactly the same just now, only she is 30 weeks.

Of course, once you get nearer the end it is harder. And if you have any health problems. But generally I think it's ridiculous.

usualsuspect Sun 20-Jan-13 16:39:29

It's not hurting you is it? I don't blame her if I could afford a taxi to work everyday instead of sliding about on foot,I would and I'm not even pregnant.

newNN Sun 20-Jan-13 16:40:00

When you are pg, it is normal to feel very protective of the baby inside you - it relies on you utterly to keep it safe. I think it is sensible to be cautious about walking on ice when you are pg. It is very easy to fall over and a bad fall could result in her losing that baby.

AuntieStella Sun 20-Jan-13 16:40:13

It depends how pregnant you are.

Falls don't cause mc in the first trimester, the pg is still encased in the pelvis and that lovely complication of SPD won't have kicked in. So no reason really to alter what you do.

But after that, when PG has grown beyond pelvis, your centre of gravity is beginning to change and your ligaments may be beginning to soften, then it's rather different.

LittleBearPad Sun 20-Jan-13 16:40:22

It really depends how she feels (I was knackered for the first four months and pretty sick so dealing with snow and the inevitable transport delays would have been a PITA). Also what footwear she has to hand. Equally though she possibly is being a little conservative. Plus I wouldn't react well to being told what to do by DH (can be fairly bloody minded)

YABU. I refuse to walk in the snow as I've broken my leg twice in the past. If I were pregnant I'd be even more worried.

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 20-Jan-13 16:41:29

If they can afford to pay for a taxi and it makes her feel safer,what exactly is your problem? She's not saying she can't come to work is she?

I've been in the house most the weekend because I hate snow and had no particular reason to go out. My rather more intrepid DP has walked the dog.

Has she ever miscarried? You may not know even if she had. I had one, then panicked madly during my first pregnancy. This does seem a little extreme, but perhaps they're worried about a fall.

He may not have actually banned her. Perhaps she doesn't want to admit she's scared or why.

YABU as its none of your business. With seemingly first pregnancies, all may not be as it seems.

usualsuspect Sun 20-Jan-13 16:41:46

I expect you will get loads of replies from posters who trekked across the North Pole while pregnant though.

whatyoulookinat Sun 20-Jan-13 16:41:58

yanbu falling over is very unlikely to cause any harm.

Iamsparklyknickers Sun 20-Jan-13 16:41:58

Depends what the pavements are like, even the tiniest bit of snow gets compacted and turns to sheer ice pretty quickly in most high traffic areas. I'm not happy about walking on it and there's nothing wrong with me!

Takes bloody ages after the snow has gone for that compacted stuff to shift as well <grumble grumble>

PrincessOfChina Sun 20-Jan-13 16:42:19

I think at 13 weeks just taking extra care would be sensible.

At 30 weeks your centre of balance is all over the place and it would be awful to fall over. I was pretty much barred from going out alone 2 years ago when I was 8 months pregnant in ice and snow - my DP, (female) boss, friends and family were all keen for me to stay put unless absolutely necessary.

CheerMum Sun 20-Jan-13 16:42:28

You don't sound like much of a friend to be honest. I don't like to walk in the snow as I am scared of falling over. Imagine having a tiny baby growing inside you and then think about whether you would risk falling over by walking in this weather.

baremadness Sun 20-Jan-13 16:42:57

yabu. She is still going to work so not your problem. A friend thought i was being silly not wanting to catch 2 busses and a train to take me 2 hours away from home at 39 weeks. Different people have different attitudes to risk.

Punkatheart Sun 20-Jan-13 16:43:54

I think she is so very lucky that she has a DH who cares so much.

Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 16:44:01

As I said I think it's because of the constant talk to everybody all the time about her being pregnant and how she can't do lots of different things all the time that is making me be mean.

I'm the opposite with the not walking in the snow thing. Tomorrow I'll be getting the tube and walking (along the same route as her) rather than drive as I think it is far safer.

StillSmilingAfterAllTheseYears Sun 20-Jan-13 16:44:10

Oh leave her be. Maybe they've had loads of mc in the past or maybe they're just very nervous. Maybe it is a bit excessive but live and let live.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 16:44:34

OP, if you had suffered a stillbirth, a miscarriage or a near miss, you wouldn't be so hard on your 'friend'.

She is right, IMO.

Bananapickle Sun 20-Jan-13 16:45:01

It is a tricky one but I walked to work (20 minute walks over fields) when I was about 34 weeks pregnant but I made sure I had someone with me, fortunately I had a colleague who lives on the same estate as me. Wouldn't have done it on my own though.
YABU to let it annoy you so much, I'd let it go of I were you.

StillSmilingAfterAllTheseYears Sun 20-Jan-13 16:45:35

Now I just think YABU and you are a massive hypocrite - you're allowed to choose how you travel based on your safety appraisal but she's not??

maddening Sun 20-Jan-13 16:45:42

My sis was out walking in the snow and slipped and broke her leg when out with her 4 mth old and luckily her dh. She is cautious now.

My df would worry about me walking in snow but I still did as was 36 weeks pg when it was snowy xmas 2010. Limited it where I could as I did feel unsteady.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 16:46:03

OP, you might well want to walk. hmm But then, if you fall over, no-one going to die, are they?

PeachActiviaMinge Sun 20-Jan-13 16:46:33

27 weeks here DH doesn't want me doing anything. I agree with him about the snow though 2 years ago I fractured my tailbone slipping on ice and I manage to otherwise slip over everytime there is ice. I'm huge and suffering quite bad hip pain now I'm happy to follow this demand through grin

I am terrified of anything going wrong all through this pregnancy and wouldn't take the extra risk if shes happy to not leave the house and catch taxi's then so be it, shes the one who is pregnant not you. Saves the what if's too incase anything did happen

I'm 36 weeks pregnant, cleared the drive and the steps on Friday and have been out playing in the snow, building snowmen and pulling DS along on a sled for the last 2 days.

However, that's my choice. She may be terrified for any number of reasons.

Jsa1980 Sun 20-Jan-13 16:47:08

I'm 29 weeks and rehesus negative am extremely cautious in the snow, not been out all weekend but walked to work Fri and will be doing the same Mon (10 mins). I really don't fancy anymore injections or avoidable trips to the hospital.

Fakebook Sun 20-Jan-13 16:47:33

YABU. But I'd roll my eyes too, even though I know it's none of my business and I'd be unreasonable to do it. I hate it when women make out pregnancy is an illness.

Mybumissquidgy Sun 20-Jan-13 16:47:33

YAB completely U.

I had prenatal depression so was terrified to leave the house the entire time I was pregnant, snowy day or otherwise. How do you know the "preciousness" isn't related to anything like this and her dh is the cover story like my partner was? Some people bottle it up because they are scared of being judged by people like you. Nasty.

MrsDonaldDraper Sun 20-Jan-13 16:47:34

Yabu. I'm 23 weeks, and have a placenta previa and am rh- so am not taking any chances and am working fom home tomorrow. I'm sure there are loads of women who think I'm being over cautious, but I'd rather not take the risk

Alisvolatpropiis Sun 20-Jan-13 16:47:35

Besides,if she fell over,it might not hurt the baby but she could break her leg...you think it's safer to walk,she does not. Everyone is allowed to make their own decisions.

I'll be walking to work tomorrow through a high foot traffic area and can't say the thought fills me with joy at all. The council don't grit the paths,just the roads so where I live it is probably safer to drive than walk.

EricNorthmansFangBanger Sun 20-Jan-13 16:47:47

YABU. I say this as a heavily pregnant lady myself. I have SPD and the pavements are treacherous, very icy and slippery. You cannot get to the main pavement where I live unless you walk up a small ramp first as we are set back from the road. I have fallen on that the last time it snowed badly and really hurt myself. I wasn't pregnant at that time but I'd still feel like your friend I think. It doesn't matter to you whether she gets a taxi, does it?

Iamsparklyknickers Sun 20-Jan-13 16:48:06

Well it might not cause harm to the baby, but I don't think it's UR to want to avoid unnecessary injuries. Who wants to pop needless pain killers when they're pregnant because they've taken a tumble and bruised/sprained/broken something?

It's not really a huge drama to get a taxi somewhere, it's not like she's commissioned scot of the Antarctic to carry her in wrapped in cotton wool.

countrykitten Sun 20-Jan-13 16:48:11

ER - what has this got to do with you? Is it harming you? Leave her be for goodness sake.

SugarplumMary Sun 20-Jan-13 16:49:00

Maybe there is an underlying reason? I have dyspraxia - which means for me poor co-ordination and balance so walking in snow and ice is never my favourite thing.

I was 17 weeks when my parents banned me from attending a family funeral - involving lots of travel in icy weather as they were worried about me falling.

I had managed to fall done the stairs by that stage though - causing large amount of spotting which an very old GP decided to tell us was a sign I was mc - I didn't and MW was hmm when we told her what was said.

I’ve known other mother get very over cautious when they had a mc or a few.

Maybe try and avoid till pg over or change subject if it's getting to you?

mirry2 Sun 20-Jan-13 16:49:13

It may have taken a long time for the op's friend to conceive, or maybe she had a previous miscarriage as some of the other posters have suggested. I think that some people would take extra care in those circumstances.

INeedThatForkOff Sun 20-Jan-13 16:49:49

I started maternity leave early at 33 weeks first time round. The pavements and road all along our street were completely covered in compacted snow and ice for a week. I knew the car park at work would be the same, and that the corridors and steps inside would be wet and slippy. My neighbour had slipped right over twice on the pavement outside.

That ok with you OP?

Rosa Sun 20-Jan-13 16:50:12

I had no option but to walk in ice and snow on pavements / bridges DH walked with me and hung on to me ....I was scared shitless of slipping and hitting the ground with a bang. i was 7& 8 months ( 2 snow falls). I had a healthy pg and worked until 39 weeks . I also fell down 2 steps landed on my knees did no harm to the baby but was terrified that I had . Lucky her she can take a taxi and to be honest I think she is being protective also as its her first she might be being over careful but so what?

Cheeryble Sun 20-Jan-13 16:50:59

Something tells me that if or when this couple get on to child no. 2 her dh will be less concerned about her walking in the snow. Due to the fact that, if it does snow, delivering no. 1 to school or nursery and collecting will be totally down to him.

Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 16:51:05

Ok I will accept that I am bu. I would wonder though about the actual risks are at this stage. How common is miscarriage from a fall at standing height?

Viviennemary Sun 20-Jan-13 16:51:08

I think that is perfectly fair if she thinks she will slip she is right not to go out into the snow. She and her DH are only being cautious and they are right to be.

allthegoodnamesweretaken Sun 20-Jan-13 16:51:33

When I was heavily pregnant a couple of years ago there was loads of snow and it was really icy. I was absolutely terrified that i would fall and harm the baby so I hardly left the house.
YABU, they want to protect their child, what on earth is wrong with that???

Plus, it's not like they're asking you to pay for the taxi is it? So why do you care?

karatekimmi Sun 20-Jan-13 16:52:01

I got banned from walking into school work by the school nurse last year and would have been about 15-20 weeks. I think you do wverythin you can to keep the baby safe, however misguided. I don't understand why this bothers you as it doesn't seem to impact you at all? YABU to care about it!

BackforGood Sun 20-Jan-13 16:52:16

Of course YANBU. What she needs to ensure is that she has a decent pair of walking boots or wellies, not refuse to come to work ! shock. Ridiculous. Can't understand that's not been said to her by her manager(s).

DoItToJulia Sun 20-Jan-13 16:52:30

I know of someone who slipped, fell into a curb and the injury to the placenta caused her baby to die. This was while there was no snow on the ground.

Whilst I accept this is an extreme, I can understand why no pregnant woman would want to risk that horror.

Try and be kind?

Discolite Sun 20-Jan-13 16:52:34

Fakebook, pregnancy may not be an illness but it can certainly bloody feel like one at times. Not all women have a straightforward, comfortable pregnancy.

HumphreyCobbler Sun 20-Jan-13 16:52:50

I think yabu as I felt incredibly unbalanced when pregnant.

That does not rule out the possibility that your friend is annoyingly precious about her pregnancy though. Some people are.

Trills Sun 20-Jan-13 16:52:53

I would roll my eyes more at being "banned" by someone else than I would if she was just being overly cautious about walking when it's slippy.

DoItToJulia Sun 20-Jan-13 16:53:14

But she s going to work, just using a different transport.....

HumphreyCobbler Sun 20-Jan-13 16:53:27

yy to pregnancy being like an illness - I felt ill the whole bloody time.

Facebook I hate when people disingenuously trot out that old line. Sometimes pregnancy IS an illness, or causes it. Mental and/or physical.

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 16:55:09

I'm not sure there are any statistics available on that. However, ice falls are not just 'falls from standing height'. They often involve broken bones, and sometimes horizontal movement. Pain and stress from other injuries can add towards a spontaneous miscarriage.

OP, when you have a child, you do everything you can to protect it. That means minimizing risk where possible. When I had a newborn I avoided walking in the ice with her, being pregnant is the same, apart from you are less balanced and therefore more likely to fall over (in fact, more likely to sustain injury due to bodily changes) when pregnant.

Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 16:55:13

Btw thank you everybody for the virtual slap. It has helped me in feeling less irritated with her. I do actually know the reasons why she is being precious - as I said I'm just getting tired of hearing about it constantly.

MarcelineTheVampireQueen Sun 20-Jan-13 16:55:41

Doesn't sound to me like she is missing work, sounds like she is getting a cab.

What's your real problem with it op?

*FAKEBOOK

Walking on snow and ice can be quite tricky if you have not quiet learnt how to avoid slipping. It also depends a lot on your foot wear.

If you have rubber soles, the suction helps, but if your soles are in hard plastic, it will be like walking with sledges under your feet.

Trainers, or mountain boots, or any boots should be fine.

I have seen a lot of people walking out in the street, rather on slightly snow covered pavements... hmm That would in fact be worse, as wet sleet is more slippery than a "fresh" and still white dusting of snow.

So there ARE underlying reasons? Oh OP you're a great friend.

Iamsparklyknickers Sun 20-Jan-13 16:57:27

I don't think it's a particularly high risk, but why take it if you don't have too? And as others have said it's not just about the baby, injuries when you're pregnant aren't fun, most people avoid medication if they can so would opt for the minimum and probably least effective option.

Why don't you arrange to meet her if you're using the same route and cadge a lift?

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 16:57:32

Also, many years ago when I and a number of colleagues were pregnant, school (work) closed because H&S didn't deem it appropriate for us all to drive in the conditions, and there were so many of us pregnant that it made opening untenable.

AllYoursBabooshka Sun 20-Jan-13 16:59:11

2 days ago I would have probably said YANBU but not now!

I was out with walking with DS two days ago and slipped on some ice that was covered in snow. I'm also 13 weeks pg and it really, really frightened me.

Thankfully I caught myself before I hit the dirt but if I had of fell it would have been quite bad.

I haven't been out since and don't plan on it until the snow fucks off so don't judge her too harshly, her DH is just looking out for her.

Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 17:00:06

No I'm not being a good friend, which is why I've asked if Iabu. It's an excuse to get some frustrations out and being told that I'm being a bitch is making me rein it back in. Surely that is the point of aibu?

LoopsInHoops Sun 20-Jan-13 17:00:59

Yes, and well done for taking it on the chin. smile

Twattybollocks Sun 20-Jan-13 17:01:13

She does sound slightly over cautious, but once you get pregnant you worry about every bloody silly little thing.
I am currently 37 weeks pregnant, and am very much avoiding walking in snow or ice, given that my pelvis is coming apart at the seams, even landing on my arse would be excruciating and an experience I'd rather not have just now!

Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 17:01:30

Sparklyknickers - no way am I getting in a minicab in this weather, but that is me being precious wink

Iamsparklyknickers Sun 20-Jan-13 17:01:40

catsnotrats I do sympathise with you hearing about nothing else off her - to be fair it's very very dull.

I'm willing to bet she's just one of those people though, if she was buying a house you'd hear nothing else, if she was getting married it'd be all about that.... I'm not a fan of people who are like that myself, but you do have to bite your tongue if you work with her.

Wishfulmakeupping Sun 20-Jan-13 17:02:36

Yabu I'm pregnant and I'm avoiding going out in the snow- I know my limits. Sounds like your friend is being sensible

I'm rhesus neg and was reminded constantly through my pregnancy (by doctors etc) that if I fell I'd have to go to hospital just in case.

I also struggled with SPD for much of the pregnancy, and had mobility issues that were independent of the pregnancy.

Unsurprisingly I refused to go out in the snow.

CatelynStark Sun 20-Jan-13 17:03:05

Does it matter how common it is, OP?

I had a fall at 4 months pregnant & was terrified for a few hours that I'd done the baby some damage.

I'm amazed that more people don't put Ice Gripper things on their boots - I wouldn't be without mine in the snow/ice. They work.

PurpleStorm Sun 20-Jan-13 17:07:03

YABU.

I know a number of people who've fallen and broken bones on snow & ice. None of them were pregnant, but I can understand someone wanting to be extra cautious on snow & ice if they were.

Even if a pregnant women doesn't hit her stomach when falling, getting a broken bone would probably involve needing x-rays and painkillers, and possibly more, which could potentially harm an unborn baby.

And your colleague may have had miscarriages or have other underlying health issues that mean she's feeling extra nervous about something going wrong.

Fakebook Sun 20-Jan-13 17:07:50

I've had miscarriages myself. They weren't caused by falling or getting too cold in the snow. They were caused by a problem I had with my biochemistry.

The OP doesn't mention her friend suffers from hyperemesis gravidaram or SPD or anything else. So with that information I'd still say, that in this case, pregnancy isn't an illness.

Getting banned from walking in the snow! Whatever next!

TwllBach Sun 20-Jan-13 17:08:49

I've had two miscarriages and, even though I know now that falling in the first trimester is not particularly dangerous to the baby, I would be terrified to walk in the snow.

I would also think it was none of your business, OP. I would be trying to protect myself and my baby, even if it is just from a psychological danger and it wouldn't be affecting you because I'm still in work!

MarilynValentine Sun 20-Jan-13 17:10:01

Definitely a virtual slap for you OP grin

You don't know her history. She could have every reason to be worried.

Fakebook, the OP says " I do actually know the reasons why she is being precious" which suggests that there is an underlying issue

badguider Sun 20-Jan-13 17:10:15

I don't think anybody's husband should ban them from doing anything. If my dh wasn't happy with something I was doing we would discuss it.

Personally, I am in the first trimester and went out running yesterday in the snow because exercise is one of the few things that keep the nausea at bay and I have grippy fell-running shoes.

If I were the OP I would feel compelled to check that the friend was not being overly controlled by her dh and not over worried and stressed by the pregnancy in general as I do think not walking in snow is slightly over-protective for 13 weeks but if she is ok and this isn't a symptom of either over-worry on her part or over-control on his then I guess it's her decision.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 20-Jan-13 17:11:50

'I haven't been pregnant myself and am only basing this on instinct'

Trust me, you buffoon, your instincts change when you are pregnant.
You stop being the most important thing in your life, and worry, often irrationally, about the baby inside you.
et a grip, she's not asking you for a lift, and you're not her friend if something so insignificant and harmless pisses you off. Get some earplugs.

bedmonster Sun 20-Jan-13 17:12:04

OP, I think you know YABU, it's slippy and she doesn't want to fall. Fair enough.
Though a friend of mine is 30 weeks pg and her DP has banned her from going out in it unnecessarily and I think it's pretty sweet that he's being so protective of her and his tiny baby.
However, some people do tend to use pregnancy as an excuse to do fuck all for 9 months (yes SIL, i'm looking at you!), though it doesn't seem like this is the case with your friend.
Just leave her be, you're probably a bit jealous that someones making a bit of a fuss over her - if you're ever pg, you'll very possibly feel slightly miffed if no one makes any special concessions towards you wink

Abra1d Sun 20-Jan-13 17:13:08

Is it outrageous to suggest people use alpine poles, staves or walking sticks on ice? And wear those detachable snow stud things on their boots? They make a huge difference to stability and grip. My husband bought me a pair and they are great.

MooseBeTimeForCoffee Sun 20-Jan-13 17:13:56

I'm almost a "North Pole trekker". If you didn't want to go out in the snow here, you'd be housebound from October to April. It's -30 here today. -40 with the wind chill!

LadyMargolotta Sun 20-Jan-13 17:17:13

It's possible that she is having some problems with the pregnancy, which they are keeping private, but is making them extra nervous.

Fakebook Sun 20-Jan-13 17:17:35

However, some people do tend to use pregnancy as an excuse to do fuck all for 9 months (yes SIL, i'm looking at you!)

Can you make a quick glance at my SIL too while you're at it. wink.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sun 20-Jan-13 17:17:37

You're not being unreasonable to think it's ridiculous; you're entitled to think what you want.

I think it's the 'precious snowflake' routine that irks people more than anything else. Get a taxi, don't get a taxi... who cares really, but if you say 'oh my DH (or worse 'lovely husband') has banned me, you'll attract snorts of derision.

Many people do make a meal of pregnancy - and some might have reason to. It can be a very boring topic of conversation if that's all there is and is wrapped in 'drama' all the time.

Chottie Sun 20-Jan-13 17:17:51

Have you ever fallen over in the snow? It's cold, very wet and pavements are solid and unforgiving. I would cut her some slack, she is still coming into work, so really it is none of your business how she gets there (sorry!)

If I was pg I would be extra careful too.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 20-Jan-13 17:17:57

'I expect you will get loads of replies from posters who trekked across the North Pole while pregnant though.'

grin That would be me usual, pregnant non-driver.
Slithering my way to work with a backpack in a city renown for the steepness of its hills and the foulness of its weather. Snow and ice and howling winds 400 miles north of London Four mile round trip every day, right up to 8 months gone.
Still think the OP is BU.

<Nebulous Amundsen Boojum>

SanityClause Sun 20-Jan-13 17:18:59

Oh FFS, she's pregnant, she's not ill!

I used to go out walking when heavily pregnant. I fell over on my fat arse a couple of times. I was fine, and so are my DC!

YANBU!

higgle Sun 20-Jan-13 17:19:36

I went on a ranching holiday ( riding in Wyoming) when I was pregnant with DS1 and rode my own horse until I couldn't get on. It would not have occurred to me not to WALK!

Catchingmockingbirds Sun 20-Jan-13 17:21:10

Yabu. I'm pregnant just now but before falling pregnant I suffered 2 miscarriages. We also have 2 dc with disabilities, one caused by complications during pregnancy. This pregnancy I've also got SPD, so DP banned me from walking when it was icy outside as we're both very concerned about me falling and hurting either myself or our baby.

Not all our friends (or even some family) know about all of this so we might come across as precious, but tbh I don't care how we come across, I just care that my baby is safe.

oldebaglady Sun 20-Jan-13 17:21:21

I feel badly in snow when pregnant with DC1 - It caused bleeding and hours of thinking we'd lost him.

YABU to compaire her to other pregnant women, every pregnancy is different, I could take on the world with preg no 2 and was super active, with preg no 1 everything wiped me out and I hurt all over/felt sick all the time! I wasn't more prescious, it was a totally different pregnancy.

StuntGirl Sun 20-Jan-13 17:21:25

YABU, why do you care? It isn't affecting you.

My sister fell in the snow and ice while heavily pregnant. She was walking alone and couldn't get back up due to the huge bump and not being able to get a good grip in the ice (she described herself as a tortoise rolling around on its shell!) Luckily about 20 minutes later someone walked past and helped her get up and back home. If she chose to be more cautious in future that's her own business and no one else's.

Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 17:21:35

lying you've just summed up my actual problem in one, thank you!

Bue Sun 20-Jan-13 17:22:29

I am probably being harsh but your friend is a prize idiot. I'm from Canada - the really, really snowy part. Incredibly, pregnant women do not stay indoors all winter. They walk. In sensible footwear, mind. All you need is a good pair of boots and a careful step.

TheNebulousBoojum Sun 20-Jan-13 17:22:44

Earplugs.

StuntGirl Sun 20-Jan-13 17:24:03

So what is the underlying reason cats?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sun 20-Jan-13 17:24:50

You're welcome, Catsnotrats... and TheNebulousBoojum has summed up your solution in one - earplugs! grin

Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 17:25:52

It's taken her a while to conceive, but her pregnancy has been straightforward and normal so far.

Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 17:27:06

On the shopping list grin

cheesesarnie Sun 20-Jan-13 17:27:39

i slipped in the snow twice whilst pregnant!
i thought the first time was bad luck and didnt want to fuss- i was just pregnant after all. then i did it again! LUCKILY DS WAS FINE BUT I HURT MY BACK QUITE BADLY.

cheesesarnie Sun 20-Jan-13 17:27:47

whoops sorry.

bigkidsdidit Sun 20-Jan-13 17:28:47

I walk 2.5 miles each way to work, in snow all last week, and I'm 20 weeks

But I think YABU - she might have poor balance generally, have had a couple of miscarriages, you never know

My boss never walks in snow as she has MS and falls over easily - two years ago she fractured her collarbone

StickEmUp Sun 20-Jan-13 17:30:08

YABU. I had trouble crosing roads in normal weather while pregnant grin.

Something weird happens to yuo, you are second best, but feel you must be extra careful with bot of you.

I miscarried though, so being precious didnt do me any good.

I will say lol, i did cross roads i jus had to stop and have a REAL good look.

3littlefrogs Sun 20-Jan-13 17:30:41

I lost my first pregnancy at 13 weeks. I was anxious about things going wrong with my second pregnancy. I also had HG and felt absolutely rotten all the time. I probably would have found walking to work in snow and ice quite misery inducing.

No doubt some of my colleagues thought I was being a bit precious too.

My manager lost no time in telling me that I had let everybody down by being off sick when I had the miscarriage. Some people are naturally unsympathetic and unkind.

SurroundedByBlue Sun 20-Jan-13 17:30:48

I'm 38 weeks pregnant and there is no way I'm walking in the snow.

MollyMurphy Sun 20-Jan-13 17:31:06

Been very active during my pregnancies until later on where things got more difficult but that's me. it's their pregnancy and they should do whatever makes them comfortable and happy - don't worry, she won't stay this way forever.

Catsnotrats Sun 20-Jan-13 17:32:41

bue the ironic thing is is that she is also from a snowy part of canada! I'm not sure what she would have been planning on doing if she was still there.

lockets Sun 20-Jan-13 17:33:12

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Adversecamber Sun 20-Jan-13 17:34:08

My DH was like this with me, I think I was almost 28 weeks pg at the time

I have a much older relative who fell over in snow and went in to premature labour and the baby sadly didn't survive. This was in the very bad winter of 1964 (think that was the year ) when there was snow on the ground for months.

catladycourtney1 Sun 20-Jan-13 17:34:44

When we had bad snow at the end of last week, my bosses told me that if I didn't feel comfortable coming in (being 34 weeks pregnant and not a driver) that I could ring in and make the time up another day. And I did think about it when I saw the state of the roads on Friday. I did go in in the end, since I only live a ten minute walk away and wouldn't want my colleagues talking about me like OP is talking about her friend!

Anyway, I don't want to say that you're being totally unreasonable, because I think there are some women who will use pregnancy as an excuse to get out of anything and everything. But if I had felt that I absolutely had to make it in to work, or anywhere else, and I had walked it and slipped and fell, I don't know what I would have done. Personally I would sooner walk than drive or be driven when it's snowy and icy anyway, but if your friend feels safer in a taxi then what is it to anyone else?

Wow I bet you are a dream to work with angry

I fell in the snow whilst pregnant a few years ago, I had to be monitored over night. We were both fine but it was an awful experience.

I'm almost 37 weeks and won't be going out in the snow

Bue Sun 20-Jan-13 17:39:08

Cats that is just bizarre then. Utterly, utterly bizarre. Ask her what she would do if she were at home! I guarantee that time off work until March would be an option grin

Bue Sun 20-Jan-13 17:39:33

would NOT be an option

FergusSingsTheBlues Sun 20-Jan-13 17:40:08

For all you know, she might have had a history of miscarriage and might be understandably neurotic. Some people find pregnancy incredibly stressful, its an emotional time without people like you sticking their oar in.

Either way its not your business. Im 34 weeks and not going out in the snow.

PandaOnAPushBike Sun 20-Jan-13 17:40:24

I'm 25 weeks pregnant and in Sweden so I can't avoid the snow but I wouldn't go out if I weren't properly prepared. Going out without snowboots or ice-spikes if it's icing is madness. But then I fell over once, when in the UK before learning how to do it properly, and dislocated my shoulder. It's made me very nervous of a repeat performance.

PandaOnAPushBike Sun 20-Jan-13 17:41:07

* icey not icing. If it's icing you need to go out with a spoon and cake.

oldebaglady Sun 20-Jan-13 17:43:02

the snow in canada is dryer, it stays frozen as snow or compacted snow here it thaws and refreezes more and gets wet and more icey. I find the snow here harder to manage than the snow in canada, partially because you don't have the kit here and partially because its a different material!

I might go out if there was icing!

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Sun 20-Jan-13 17:46:29

I am 34 weeks pregnant and although I went flying on some ice a few weeks ago, I still have to brave it and be very careful as I really don't want to be housebound. It's my last week at work this coming week so after that I can pick and choose when I want to go out.

RuleBritannia Sun 20-Jan-13 17:47:01

Well, I'm not pregnant but there's nothing wrong with walking on the snow. Snow itself is not slippery. It's when it's been trodden down into hard cake that it becomes slippery. I walked to the bus stop the other day (about 500 yards) and walked on the snow that had not been trodden on and, if it had been, I walked in the road (facing oncoming traffic as the Highway Code stipulates). Okay, there was not much traffic but ...............

The only time I fell over was on ice outside my GP's surgery. It was drips from the gutter that had frozen.

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Sun 20-Jan-13 17:47:34

Plus if I don't go to work I don't get paid! I work I a different town as well so taxis are out of the question.

NigellasGuest Sun 20-Jan-13 17:47:44

is this a first baby?

TwllBach Sun 20-Jan-13 17:48:42

Also, when I was pregnant the second time, DP at the time "banned" me from doing some things, like heavy lifting etc. what he actually meant was "I don't want you to do things that could be dangerous for you and our baby. I feel protective and want you to look after yourself and our child" but he used the word banned instead, jokingly. Could that be what your friends DP did, OP?

tiredemma Sun 20-Jan-13 17:48:44

And friends relative slipped in snow whilst pregnant with twins. Both babies died in the womb.

SoWhatIfImWorkingClass Sun 20-Jan-13 17:52:03

tiredemma, that's awful sad How far along was she?

AlwaysHoldingOnToStarbug Sun 20-Jan-13 17:52:40

Yabu. I've never been pregnant during snowy weather but I would avoid going out in it. I always managed to fall over nothing when I was pg. when I was expecting twins I fell over a few times, so I would never take that extra risk in snow or ice.

oldebaglady Sun 20-Jan-13 17:53:42

and its patchy here and inconsistant, with bits of black ice inbetween. Its more consistant in colder countries so easier to balance

Pobblewhohasnotoes Sun 20-Jan-13 17:54:13

You sum it up by saying you haven't been pregnant yourself. No you haven't, so don't judge someone who is and what they choose to do.

I was cautious about walking in the snow. All you want to do is protect your baby. It's none of your business what she does.

Lavenderhoney Sun 20-Jan-13 18:00:38

It's none of your business as you say, op. You have no idea of her personal history, just what she chooses to tell you. Her dh is being lovely and she is very lucky. If she fell and something awful happened she would never forgive herself, especially if it could have been prevented.

Let her enjoy her pgncy and take care as she sees fit of her unborn child and not take uncesscary risks. Everyone is different. It matters not what other people did when they were prgnt.

I don't think you are a friend of hers at all, you are not very supportive or kind.

Jinsei Sun 20-Jan-13 18:06:36

I fell on the ice when pregnant (albeit much further gone than your friend) and although it didn't do the baby any damage, it frightened the life out of me, especially as I'd miscarried previously. I wouldn't go out in the ice if I were pregnant again. YABU.

ratbagcatbag Sun 20-Jan-13 18:12:37

I think in the early weeks you can get something called placenta abrupt ion, which is if you get a hard knock, sudden bump etc, the placenta can separate from the womb causing a miscarriage. I'm 30 weeks and ventured to a big out of town shopping centre because I knew everywhere would e gritted, but my boss has text me again today saying if snow comes as expected tonight, if I feel it's to slippy then work from home.

LittleChimneyDroppings Sun 20-Jan-13 18:14:47

It's taken her a while to conceive

Well this will certainly be one reasons why. You sound like a rubbish friend. Why don't you call your friend over and get her to give her opinion in your online debate about her.

LadyMargolotta Sun 20-Jan-13 18:16:25

'It's taken her a while to conceive, but her pregnancy has been straightforward and normal so far'

The thing is, some people are very private, and you really don't know for certain that there have been no problems.

I don't really understand why you are irritated - she is still coming to work, she isn't bothering anyone for a lift? She's just getting a taxi.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Sun 20-Jan-13 18:18:30

Blimey ChimneyDroppings if only 'good friends' who didn't judge or ever say anything contentious or anonymously mention RL people were allowed to post here... MN would be relegated to internet obscurity. Earlier in the thread OP said that this has helped her understand - and provided a place to vent.

loveschocolate Sun 20-Jan-13 18:19:00

At 38 weeks pregnant this week I've continued to walk to work rather than risk taking the car down ungritted country roads. The fresh snow is fine - will be more concerned when it gets compacted and icy. Sensible footwear and common sense is all that's required. (yes, I'm rh neg, have mild SPD and have previously broken my arm in a fall)

LittleChimneyDroppings Sun 20-Jan-13 18:20:15

Yeah you're right Lying. I did think that after I posted it. Ok I take that bit back, but only that bit grin

tiredemma Sun 20-Jan-13 18:20:59

She is was 30 weeks.

lljkk Sun 20-Jan-13 18:23:04

Folk in North America drive everywhere, she wouldn't have to go further than the heated garage if she lived there.

FWIW, I think she sounds precious & it would make me go hmm too. but I'm not sure OP should care so much. Doesn't sound like OP has been inconvenienced in any way.

I fell off my bike on the ice when about 40 weeks pregnant. Absolutely no harm done at all.

WantsToBeFree Sun 20-Jan-13 18:25:13

YABU.

I think it's entirely reasonable for a pregnant woman to want to avoid falling and injuring herself, much more so than it would be for the rest of us.
A serious fall can even result in a miscarriage and it's understandable to want to be cautious.

I think our society nowadays is too casual towards pregnancy and pregnant women and this whole culture of "pregnancy is normal and natural" is doing more harm than good. Yes, it's normal and no she isn't sick, but FGS it is a condition that requires extra care. She's making and carrying a person FFS.

DolomitesDonkey Sun 20-Jan-13 18:30:27

We had a foot when I was pregnant with my first. I wore 5" stilettos as I felt nothing dug in the ice as well as them.

I'm hardcore though and have little patience for precious. grin

Catchingmockingbirds Sun 20-Jan-13 18:37:14

It's taken her a while to conceive, but her pregnancy has been straightforward and normal so far.

Many of our friends think we've just taken a while to conceive too, but actually we had 2 mc in that time but didn't want to tell everyone. Only a few people know.

Cakethrow Sun 20-Jan-13 18:39:05

It's not really any of your business.
How do you know he's 'banned' her and she's 'going along with it'? (If he has then that's a separate issue entirely)

FWIW I fell at 33 weeks pregnant and broke my coccyx. It was absolute agony.
I couldn't take any pain relief (well I could but only paracetamol) and 2 1/2 months later it still hurts.
I had SPD as well so was in agony for the last few weeks of being pregnant.
If she wants to be cautious, that's up to her.

Pinkflipflop Sun 20-Jan-13 18:45:31

YANBU to think whatever you like, YABU to even dream of saying anything out loud!

It's NONE of your business!

MamaBear17 Sun 20-Jan-13 18:46:12

It may seem ridiculous, but having been pregnant with a desperately wanted baby I can understand why they are so cautious. Being pregnant is such a worry anyway, and you cant just look through a window pane in your tummy and check the baby is okay, so instead you spend your time worrying about pretty much everything. During the first 12 weeks I went to the bathroom at least 10 times a day, and only some of those times were because I needed to pee. The rest of the time I was checking my knickers to make sure I wasn't bleeding. I have no reason to think that I was, I was just anxious and scared.

BanghamTheDirtyScone Sun 20-Jan-13 18:47:56

I hate it when people who have never been pregnant criticise those who are for their decisions.

You should just blooming try it.

Fwiw I had a horrible pregnancy and was in masses of pain during the last trimester. It was awful and I could do very little.
Hardly anyone knew how much pain I was in - they probably, like you, all just assumed I was a useless incompetent who was too precious to walk anywhere.

Trouble is I didn't go around advertising the fact I was struggling. I stayed cheerful and tried to avoid the subject as I didn't want to seem like a moaner.

Maybe I should have been more dramatic about it.

BanghamTheDirtyScone Sun 20-Jan-13 18:49:57

Oh and when I rarely did walk anywhere, on the school run for example, and someone decided to walk home with me/the kids, they always went at a normal pace and I kept up with them, despite it being really, really painful and crippling me afterwards for a day or two, because I didn't want them to judge me for being slow and pathetic.

After all it's pregnancy not an illness sad

oldebaglady Sun 20-Jan-13 18:52:32

I hate when people who have been pregnant criticise those who are

just cause you climbed a mountain at 39 weeks/didn't need pain relief doesn't make you hard core/less pfb! it just means you were lucky enough to have a pregnancy that allowed that. You might even have had two easy pregnancies - still just luck

I've had one of each and trust me it's nothing to do with Positive Mental Attitude or being prescious or any of that bollocks! With one I was wiped out if I went for a gentle walk in spring time never mind in January - and my balance was crap, with the other I felt more spritely than ever!

Bue Sun 20-Jan-13 18:53:40

Folk in NA do not drive everywhere - that's what English people think, and it is truer in the suburbs, but in the cities most of my friends take public transportation to work.

Rosduk Sun 20-Jan-13 18:54:14

I slipped on ice when I was 20 weeks preggo. Baby was fine but I did bleed afterwards which was very scary. It wouldn't keep
me housebound though if I was pregnant again!

SinisterBuggyMonth Sun 20-Jan-13 19:01:31

Well done Op my first biscuit

YABU. It took me ages to concieve and when I did finally I took no chances including walking or driving in the snow. I missed 2 days of work a a friends 40th birthday party. I have a 2 yo DS now and feel very lucky.

LittleBearPad Sun 20-Jan-13 19:34:35

To be fair if you are walking the same route as her why don't you offer to walk with her and make sure she doesn't slip.

lljkk Sun 20-Jan-13 19:44:53

I come from a big city in North America, Bue, with arguably the best weather in the world.

Most people drive everywhere. Taking the bus or trolley gets you pity.

GreatSoprendo Sun 20-Jan-13 19:48:03

Sorry but YABU. Having taken 5 years and plenty of IVF to get pregnant, I'm not taking any unnecessary risks with this pregnancy. Went for a walk to the shops yesterday on the fresh snow but its all turned to ice now so not been out today and wont be out on foot tomorrow either. Who knows what background there is to your friends pregnancy but its her choice and has zero effect on you so you shouldn't care in the slightest - at most you should be pleased your friends OH is being so thoughtful.
Sounds like what taxis were invented for to me (smile)

DoJo Sun 20-Jan-13 23:06:08

Wow - I'm really surprised at all the responses, and as someone who has been pregnant and was walking in the snow we had last year at 8 months gone, I am amazed that so many people would avoid it. Perhaps I was just blissfully optimistic about things, but it genuinely didn't occur to me not to go out, plus even my mum (potentially the most overprotective grandma on earth) just said 'If you think you're going to fall, try and make sure you go over backwards! Feel pretty sure I'll remember this thread if I have another one though - it's made me feel very reckless retrospectively.

twentythirteen Sun 20-Jan-13 23:23:01

I don't have an opinion on whether your friend should or should not walk in the snow, but I do wonder why it really bothers you...

PickledInAPearTree Sun 20-Jan-13 23:25:56

I'm 35 weeks and in avoiding it where possible. In walking like a penguin that shat itself in good conditions.

I'm not moaning or hurting anyone else so if anyone wanted to moan at me about it I'd tell them to swivel to be fair!

LadyWidmerpool Sun 20-Jan-13 23:37:40

She might break or sprain something and painkillers are tricky in pregnancy so I think she is being sensible as long as she uses a reputable taxi firm.

pigletmania Sun 20-Jan-13 23:39:27

YABU its quite slippery, i have fallen on my back twice on the hard ground, it can be serious for a pregnant woman. I dont blame your friend

goldenlula Sun 20-Jan-13 23:47:07

I fell over when I was about 20 weeks pregnant with dd in the snow/ice, straight onto my tummy. Thankfully, it caused no problems (and neither did he fall I had a few weeks later in town and the one at about 35 weeks when I twisted my foot in a rabbit hole). I can understand people being cautious.

Arseface Sun 20-Jan-13 23:51:22

Am feeling a bit ashamed reading all this!
33 wks with twins and have been out and about in the snow lots.
Took the dogs and DS1 for a walk today and didn't really think about endangering the babies as it was so beautiful outside and, although I was wiped out afterwards, lovely to be in the fresh air.

My choice though and YABU to be judgey about your friend's choices.
YANBU to feel secretly bored at pregnancy chatter though!

forgetmenots Sun 20-Jan-13 23:52:58

YABU, but you know that now!

With weak joints and an achy bump, I've strapped my shoe chains on when walking but it's more the feeling that your centre of gravity is way off. Makes it even more treacherous (and of course the stakes are higher if you fall). I'm getting a cab to work too, but not telling anyone in case they think I'm being precious blush

I think someone said up thread it's the mention of DH 'banning' her that's more annoying, YANBU to get sick of stuff like that, but she may just be hiding her nerves.

WorraLiberty Mon 21-Jan-13 00:01:17

Lying has said it all for me really.

It's probably the 'drama' of it all and the constant going on about it that's irking you.

But she's not being unreasonable to not want to walk in the snow if she doesn't have to.

In the same way that if you don't have to walk up a flight of stairs in 6" stillettos, you probably wouldn't choose to.

toobreathless Mon 21-Jan-13 00:02:50

This would make me inwardly roll my eyes and think she was a bit precious.

I think if she wasn't going in to work at all then she would be unreasonable but if she wants to pay for taxis then that's her choice!

I was skiing in my last pregnancy at 13 weeks and am now 29 weeks and carrying on as normal but that is my choice.

forgetmenots Mon 21-Jan-13 00:08:56

May be too that she doesn't have these choices, might be a more difficult pregnancy than she is letting on. Mine has been fine so far (touch wood) but I know friends who wouldn't have dreamed of anything like this because of how shit or sore they were feeling - particularly those with spd.

ismaithliom Mon 21-Jan-13 00:47:01

The bit that bothers me is her husband 'banned' her! Mr.ismaithliom wouldn't get a chance!

13 wks might be a bit extreme but each to their own.

Personally, I get VERY nervous about ice/snow (like an auld wan nervous) that's without being pg.

Carry a container of table salt with me if it's icy/slippy out, clear the way ;)

Morloth Mon 21-Jan-13 00:49:13

I don't know, I bailed on the school run a couple of times when I was pregnant with DS2 in London when it was snowing and icy.

Just didn't seem worth the risk.

CheerfulYank Mon 21-Jan-13 00:52:08

It seems a bit silly to me but I don't drive and live in an area where we have lots of snow every winter, sometimes for five or six months of the year. So I'm used to it. smile

Morloth Mon 21-Jan-13 00:55:00

The snow is OK, is lovely to crunch snow. But in London it doesn't stay lovely and crunchy.

Melts a bit, refreezes, is like walking on wet glass. We often gave up on the footpath and walked along the road.

ismaithliom Mon 21-Jan-13 01:06:00

Oh Lord, salt, I'd need Valium so. Nerves would be gone. Ok, so maybe it isn't a bit extreme.

Want2bSupermum Mon 21-Jan-13 01:26:34

We get a decent amount of snow here in the US but if you don't clear the sidewalk infront of your house and put salt down the town does it for you and charges. I think you have until 9am. If it continues to snow during the day you are expected to go out and put more salt down unless they declare a state of emergency or the town calls/sends a text to your phone to tell you stay indoors. I therefore have no problems walking to town to get the train when it has snowed.

In the UK you wouldn't catch me walking 5mins to work with snow on the ground when 13 weeks pregnant. I had terrible MS with DD and with this pregnancy I got very tired quickly in the first trimester. No one shovels and I have yet to see anyone put salt down.

Thumbwitch Mon 21-Jan-13 01:29:00

Yes YABU.
I know this is different but my Dad fell on black ice in his back garden the day before yesterday (SW London area). He was being careful, he looked but black ice is invisible and he slipped and fell. Luckily he caught himself before hitting the ground (at nearly 80 it could have been very bad for him!) so wasn't hurt BUT he is now staying in until the snow clears because it could have been a lot worse, and he scared himself.

My sister has fallen over in the snow - she didn't hurt herself but as she says, she's well padded.

I would have refused to walk in this weather while pg too, because of my age, having had 3 MCs, having weak joints anyway and SPD, and a tendency to positional vertigo. AND my DH would have agreed that I should stay out of the snow; and I might have jokingly said he had "banned" me from going out. But it would have been my decision.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee Mon 21-Jan-13 02:06:19

Thumb sad Is your Dad OK? I bet you are loving all of this snow talk while you are basking in the sun grin

MidniteScribbler Mon 21-Jan-13 02:17:36

Her DH could very well have said "I'm worried about you walking in the snow and would rather you take a taxi." and she's probably jokingly said "DH banned me from walking" which MN then turns in to he's abusive and controlling. hmm

Thumbwitch Mon 21-Jan-13 02:18:36

I am extremely envy of all the snow - although it's relatively pleasant here at the mo, we have had a couple of extremely awful days last week (44 deg C in the shade) and are due for a couple more this week, slightly less hot but more humid so more foul. My friend nearly lost her rabbit to heatstroke last week - she didn't bring the rabbit into the house because they don't have aircon and her indoor temp was 49 deg shock but when it nearly died, she had to bring it in and put it in front of a fan on the tiled bathroom floor, after wetting it. We don't go out in the sun, it would flay your skin off. DH and DS1 have been out a little bit, swimming and that - but me and DS2 just stay inside in the aircon. smile

Dad is fine thanks - just a bit shaken up and not setting foot outside until it's clear!

Morloth Mon 21-Jan-13 02:28:38

Yep, my thermostat said 47degrees in my backyard on Friday.

Snow would be bloody lovely.

differentnameforthis Mon 21-Jan-13 03:28:55

I think it is time we stopped judging what others do, to be honest. I slipped in the snow a lot last week, and that was trying to be careful! There is absolutely nothing wrong with being cautious.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 21-Jan-13 03:30:07

Thumbwitch, the idea of no internal a/c in this weather is making me come over all faint.

ivanapoo Mon 21-Jan-13 03:30:31

As PPs have said its not snow but the post-snow icy evil that's the problem.

I HATE going out in it and am glad I'm on mat leave so I can just stay inside all day cuddling my newborn while eating cake and watching crap telly

Thumbwitch Mon 21-Jan-13 04:14:03

Tortoise, I'm surprised that it seems relatively common for rentals not to have aircon - I would have thought that it was as necessary as it is for the UK rental houses to have heating, but apparently not! shock

iamwhaticallpregnant Mon 21-Jan-13 05:39:51

I am 36 weeks pregnant and have been fairly brave/normal throughout but now my belly is so large and noticeable and you feel so clumsy already - and very vulnerable and have worried about every tiny thing that could go wrong all the way through - the idea of slipping over terrifies me so i have stayed out of the snow - which is very unlike me. I dont want to risk anything!

Kafri Mon 21-Jan-13 05:43:20

It's up to her how cautious she needs/wants to be. I was a pain in the neck when I was pregnant last year as I had tried for years for my DS and ended up with IVF. There was no way I was risking any damage. It may have been unlikely, but I'd never have forgiven myself id something had happened that i could have avoided.

On top of that, it may be the case that a fall is 'unlikely' to harm baby but, I'm on mat leave now and things are tight money wise. I'd be really up the creek with out a paddle had I fallen on ice and broken a bone. Id have been unable to work and I HAD to work as late as I could to put money away to be off on mat leave.

DizzyZebra Mon 21-Jan-13 05:54:52

I cannot be doing with people like that. Its a bit of snow.

Do watch out for inconsiderate arseholes who wash their car in freezing temperatures, and don't sweep the water away, and then watches from the window as a pregnant lady goes down like a sack of shit and repeatedly fallsas she tries to get up.

Baby was fine but it cut my ankle open. Twat. I still give his house daggers if I pass.

LtEveDallas Mon 21-Jan-13 06:16:20

Not pregnant, but I hate walking on snow, so much it's almost a phobia.

A few years ago I had a fall on snow covered ice. I was wearing good boots etc, but went down like a sack of spuds. I broke my ankle in 6 places and my hand in 3. I was in hospital for 8 days, in casts for 8 weeks, had to have 4 operations and 2 years of physio before they finally gave up and told me that unfortunately the pain was for life, and would probably get worse.

Because of the way I now walk my knee, hip and back are affected. I'm expecting to walk with a stick by the time I'm 50, and maybe worse later on.

Can't imagine going through all of that pregnant or with a newborn.

Logically I know it doesn't mean it will happen again, but the thought terrifies me. I avoid as much as I can and tend to walk on grass covered verges only rather than supposedly cleared pavements/roads.

Spare a thought for us wusses smile

jessjessjess Mon 21-Jan-13 09:23:39

It's easy to slip in snow and ice. Yabvu.

ICBINEG Mon 21-Jan-13 09:29:01

My Dsis slipped in snow and ended up having to have the baby early due to maternal bleeding. Poor little baby was stuck in intensive care over xmas getting all his blood replaced due to immune reaction to his mothers blood.

So YABU.

justalilmummy Mon 21-Jan-13 09:30:04

I'm only 10 weeks and I know a fall will not cause a mc but it wouldn't stop me panicking like a mad women if I was to slip

spg1983 Mon 21-Jan-13 09:32:33

Oh....I feel a bit silly now. Couldn't get out of the house on Weds to get to midwife appointment so I walked 5 miles there and back. I really enjoyed it...

spg1983 Mon 21-Jan-13 09:32:45

Forgot to say, I'm 35 weeks.

thesnootyfox Mon 21-Jan-13 09:39:28

I fell in both pregnancies in the snow. Had to go to hospital and have scans not very pleasant.

The other day I was walking to school to pick up ds1 and was pushing ds2 in the pushchair. The pavements are horrendous so I was walking in the road. I slipped and let go of the pushchair which went flying down the hill and crashed into a parked car, thank God for the parked car!

YABU. Yes it's only snow but icy conditions can cause accidents.

YABU! She is your colleague and presumably you don't know if she has perhaps had a miscarriage before? I have, and although I love the snow, I was nervous walking 15 mins down to the shop this morning to get milk. As previous posters have said, your colleague's DH is possibly being protective for a very private reason.

Thewhingingdefective Mon 21-Jan-13 09:40:23

YABU. I was terrified to walk in snow or on icy, slippery paths when pg with twins after IVF. It was a risk I didn't want to take.

MulledWineandScully Mon 21-Jan-13 09:41:48

I'm 17 weeks and I wish I could stay put! On Friday I found myself trekking up to the CM pushing DD in a buggy through a foot of snow, didn't have much option. My bosses are very hmm about me working from home so I don't do it unless the site is closed (as it was on Friday). But actually it's the aftermath that is more dangerous, with the ice etc. I fell a few years back (not pg) and injured my back and my pride.

I don't really mind the walking so much - I have sensible walking boots. It's the driving on ice that bothers me.

I think YABU though - it doesn't harm you if your friend gets taxis everywhere, I wouldn't have thought.

12ylnon Mon 21-Jan-13 09:42:24

Yabu. It's hard walking on snow and ice- much more so than regular walking. I'm 22 weeks and a very active walker, but I'm avoiding walking in the snow after an incident on Friday where I had picked ds up from school in the snow (20 mins each way normally, took us about 35 mins each way in the snow) and then stupidly decided to take him to the park too. I got to the end of our road on the way home and nearly passed out, I'd just walked too far. Thank god a neighbour was walking past and got me and ds home safely, but I dread to think what would have happened if I'd passed out in the snow.
Safety of the baby comes first IMO, it's a mums responsibility to look after it so she should do what she thinks is best.

NotSoNervous Mon 21-Jan-13 09:45:23

YABU, just think if she fall and something happened to her baby she would blame herself forever. When your pregnant you worry about every little thing and I personally wouldn't walk on the snow either just not worth taking that chance

PenelopeChipShop Mon 21-Jan-13 09:49:02

It's up to her. But I must say I 'm wondering if I ought to feel guilty now that I went to Moscow in February when 20 weeks pg... Needless to say it was extremely snowy and icy! Didn't occur to me that I shouldn't have gone there let alone not left my house in a bit of snow. I only really worried about falling when I was big which wasn't til right at the end.

Stupid question alert: what's the issue with rhesus neg status other than needing anti-d injections? Why's it a problem if you fall?

(Am B+ so this never came up for me!)

elizaregina Mon 21-Jan-13 09:58:26

yabu

I think it depends what persepective you are coming at it from. For me I have so many friends who have not had an easy time of it getting pregnant including myself - I had to wait five long years - you are not going to want to risk any injury at all when it finally happens.

No you may not MC but it depends how you fall - also you dont really want any broken bones either which also may occur.

Commander If the baby has Rhesus Positive blood and the mother has Rhesus Negative, then a fall can mean an injury that then means that the blood mixes. And if that's the case, then the mother's body will likely try and produce antibodies that will attack the baby's blood.

So if you have a fall, depending on severity, it can mean you need an anti-D injection to stop that happening.

sheeplikessleep Mon 21-Jan-13 10:11:37

I'm only 9 weeks pregnant with DC3 and walked DS1 (and DS2) to school this morning. I had no other option.

We walked very slowly, but I hated it as I kept slipping underfoot (DS2 fell over) and I felt very vulnerable, particularly holding hands with DSs (5 and 2). DH and I ended up arguing before he left for work, all because I was quite stressed about venturing out, when the pavements are like ice.

YABU OP - until you're actually in the position (and as others have said, you don't really know their 'back story' to getting pregnant), you don't know how you'd feel.

And does it really matter?

I'll be going out again at 3 today, but again we'll be taking it slow and steady. If I had any other option or DH was around, I'd have asked him to collect. If there are alternatives, then why not?

RainboxFX Mon 21-Jan-13 10:19:32

For what it's worth, no one except DH and Boss knows I am 11 weeks pregnant and have been signed off work since 8 weeks with bleeding. I am also rhesus neg so needing regular Anti D injections. This is a pregnancy after a premature labour and neo natal death, so we are both terrified at the best of times. Weeks of bleeding have left me terrified to move or sneeze and I had to lie pretty creatively to get out of sledging with a friend and her lovely children. The isolating, horrifying thing is that no one knows. You really have no idea what anyone elses pregnancy is like unless you are living it.

On the other hand, other people's pregnancies are dull so YANBU to be fed up of hearing about it!

PenelopePipPop Mon 21-Jan-13 10:20:29

YABU - it isn't just the risk of mc, but also that pregnancy distorts womens own sense of proprioception so they are more at risk of falling than non-pregnant people, sometimes dangerously.

I fell very badly when 4m pregnant with DD, fractured my skull in two places, suffered significant subdural bleeding as a result and now have epilepsy. It is controlled with meds thankfully, but only on such high doses of two teratogenic drugs that my DH and I have had to decide we cannot have any further children.

So if she can avoid going out on the snow, and wants to be risk averse for fucks sake leave her alone. Her life, her baby, none of your business.

milf90 Mon 21-Jan-13 10:25:35

I think yabu, I fell iver at 6 weeks pregnant. Whilst its very unlikely that any harm can come to te baby, it was worrying, especially because I had had a lot of bleeding in my pregnancy.

I also fell over last week an fractured my coccyx and man it hurts!

milf90 Mon 21-Jan-13 10:32:25

Rainbowfx, why are you having anti d if u don't mind me asking? You don't have anti d until after 12 weeks because the placenta doesn't take over until this point. (I used to work as a midwife and I'm rhesus neg)

Thumbwitch Mon 21-Jan-13 10:40:03

You don't usually have anti-D until after 12 weeks because the foetal blood cells don't develop the D antigen until that point, so even if foetal blood cells leaked into the mother's blood stream, there would be nothing for the mother to make antibodies to.

CatsRule Mon 21-Jan-13 10:55:03

I haven't read all your replies yet...but a virtual slap is coming your way!

I fell when I was 30 weeks pregnant on ice and ended up in hospital.

I've lost before, and this baby had been very long awaited (years!) and yes very precious to me even before he was born. Not only that, when I fell, a man happily watched me, visibly pregnant lying on my bump, and walked right past!

You say this woman is your friend? hmm

differentnameforthis Mon 21-Jan-13 11:08:24

I don't think much of your friend's friend. Tell her she needs to get a new one & get rid of you.

atthewelles Mon 21-Jan-13 11:34:11

Why does snow always bring out these judgey, oh its only a bit of snow types. Yes, some people are a bit over careful when it snows (not talking about pregnant women btw) but I find far more irritating the types who snowboard across fields and mountains to get to work in feet of snow and then go around preening themselves and making belittling remarks about other people who decided to play it safe.

LoveYouForeverMyBaby Mon 21-Jan-13 11:40:42

atthewells couldnt agree more. I have started a similiar thread in pregnancy saying expressing a concern about leaving work slightly earlier when it was heavily snowing on Fri to pick up my toddler and worried about falling as I am (now) 10 weeks pg. Just wanted to leave earlier so could be more cautious when walking in the ice and snow...wow you should read some of the unsympathetic and frankly quite bitchy replies. Some of us are cautious during adverse weather.

RainboxFX Mon 21-Jan-13 11:42:25

milf not sure tbh! I didn't realise it is not normally given under 12 weeks. I wonder if it is because the bleeding is ongoing, so may continue until after 12 weeks? I asked my midwife if I needed it, she said yes, and to ask the consultant when I see them next week how often I will need top ups. Great thing about mumsnet, I learn something new every day smile

FobblyWoof Mon 21-Jan-13 11:47:56

I had a friend who took it very, very easy, especially in the first trimester. You know why? She'd had a miscarriage previously and even though deep down she knew that nothing she had done had caused it her mind raced with all the possibilities. What if she'd lifted too much at work etc, etc.

It's also perfectly normal to feel incredibly proctective over your unborn baby, aware that your the one keeping him or her alive and that, for the first time ever, someone, a life, is totally dependant on you.

Her concern, worry, protectiveness etc is, quite frankly, none of your business. It's not hurting anyone so YABU. People react to things in different ways.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Mon 21-Jan-13 11:51:38

Yes but does ANYBODY really care whether somebody snowboards to work or takes a taxi? No, they don't. People generally couldn't care less what other people do unless it impacts them so all the medical horror stories and vitriol about not knowing somebody's personal reasons is really irrelevant. Nobody would ever say to anybody - pregnant or not - that they should/shouldn't walk in the snow. I've never seen or heard that in RL... only on MN where it's an almost daily occurrence. In RL nobody gives a fig... they really don't - not unless you make a 'thing' of it and draw them in to discussion. That's your choice.

The issue is that some people make a point of making their choices and the long drawn-out reasons for them - known to all and sundry. Do what you want but if you tend to 'drama', you're inviting comment even though most people will inwardly roll their eyes and ignore attention-seeking comments.

It wouldn't occur to me to seek approval for taking a taxi, walking on my hands or cartwheeling down the road. If I were pregnant, I'd think of what was best for me, the baby - and do it. No fuss, no drama.

pollyblue Mon 21-Jan-13 11:52:13

i was heavily pregnant with twins a few years ago during a very snowy/icy spell and it was horrendous - my centre of balance had gone to pot, and i was living in a hilly, semi rural area where the lanes and footpaths were like an ice rink.

it's natural to be extra cautious when you're carrying a baby.........as other posters have said, maybe she has miscarried before so is being very cautious now. If you were pregnant, you'd probably find your 'instinct' was to protect the baby, and stuff what other people think.

Either way, none of your business and i hope your friends are more sympathetic to you if you ever find yourself being 'precious' about something.

Ha ha, the bit about her husband 'banning' her from walking made me vomit slightly, but other than that, I don't blame her for not wanting to if she can help it - the paths are really icy here and I'm avoiding walking anywhere if I can because I don't want to slip over - and I'm not pg.

atthewelles Mon 21-Jan-13 12:47:42

I'm not pregnant, the snow isn't particularly bad where I am but the work I had planned for today can just as easily be done in the comfort of my home on the lap top instead of driving the car on slippery side roads to get out onto the main road and then worrying if it will snow more heavily before I get home again. So, I am working and mumsnetting from home. It's common sense and isn't affecting anyone else - although no doubt someone, somewhere at work is muttering to themselves that they managed to trek in all the way from the depths of somewhere or other...... That was their decision, I don't care.

I fell in the snow when 14 weeks pregnant with my DD. Ended up in hospital bleeding. It was the most terrifying time of my life. Thought i had lost her.

theroseofwait Mon 21-Jan-13 12:59:44

No, it's not. YABU. I was exactly the same. It took an age to conceive Ds1 and I was Rhesus negative. Why take silly risks?

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe Mon 21-Jan-13 13:01:46

atthewelles... and it is always so. Competitiveness over nothing at all, absolutely useless and pointless - but endemic in everything. Who has the worst time in hospital, who had the most organs out in one go, who had the biggest football-sized kidney stones, who had to scale the biggest glacier to get to work in the shortest time... hmm

Laugh at them, then ignore... and enjoy working from home today. grin

havingastress Mon 21-Jan-13 13:03:40

I slipped over on ice at 28 weeks. Was incredibly scary. I lost our first baby at 17 weeks. I was already petrified about losing this one and then I went flying. Luckily everything was ok, but honestly, wish I hadn't gone out in the snow/ice that day.

YABU. How do you know she hasn't had a previous miscarriage? Or something that is making her being extra cautious?

Really don't see how this affects you in the slightest!

havingastress Mon 21-Jan-13 13:04:34

oh. And here's your virtual slap grin lol.

I've fallen over and hurt myself badly before, I wasn't pregnant but I hate to think what could have happened if I was.

As it stands, I gave birth two years ago in London when we had that really bad snow for a couple of weeks. I had to go to a funeral when I was 38 weeks and I was knee deep in snow then. I had to walk to the main road because the taxi wouldn't come down our street....scariest thing ever. My DH had to walk to the hospital when I was in labour because he couldn't get a taxi, bless him.

nokidshere Mon 21-Jan-13 13:08:13

There was no snow around when I first fell pregnant, nor had I ever had a fall or any other injury. But after 15 years of ttc and the possibility that this would be my one and only pregnancy I am fairly sure lots of my friends rolled their eyes at me being very very cautious indeed!!!!!

Who cares how she gets to work?

MrsDeVere Mon 21-Jan-13 13:15:44

I am not a precious pregnant woman. There would have been no point tbh. I am ghardly surrounded by people wanting to wrap me in cotton wool grin
But I think you are being mean.
Pregnancy can make you fearful and I hear tell that some DP's can be very protective.

Plus pregnancy can pay havoc with your balance.

Kaekae Mon 21-Jan-13 13:16:18

Each to their own....I say. Some women are very worried about falling during pregnancy and I appreciate that, but I went ice skating when I was 2 months pregnant with my first baby. I'd been to my GP about something else and mentioned it to him and he thought it was fine! I did hold on to the sides a lot!

Chunderella Mon 21-Jan-13 13:18:49

Me too BabiesInSlings. Not just because some women are very poorly indeed during pregnancy. Some people are just as ill as they would be if they had a disease, and I say this as someone who had a straightforward pregnancy. But also because the fact that something isn't a disease doesn't mean it isn't dangerous, doesn't cause pain and doesn't warrant any special treatment or care. There are lots of other things that aren't a disease but do warrant a fuss, for example breaking a bone, and nobody would tell someone who'd done that not to make a fuss because it isn't a disease.

The people who are posting about how women in colder climes go out in the snow all the time are also missing the point. These women are presumably used to it and have proper clothing and footwear. Most people in the UK don't, because we don't have snow that often. This is why there is no comparison. If OPs friend had been walking in the snow for months of the year all her life and had the necessary boots etc, there would be.

And lastly OP, I don't think it takes a particularly large amount of common sense to see that having not been pregnant yourself there might be stuff you don't 'get' about it. There's nothing wrong with you not knowing because of having not been there. But I think it's a bit daft to make pronouncements about it without the benefit of personal experience, when it's pretty well known that women's attitudes often change totally during pregnancy. Unless maybe you were a midwife or something.

everlong Mon 21-Jan-13 13:20:40

Hmm. I have an irrational fear of slipping on ice. I will grab on to anybody I can so I don't fall blush and I think when you're pg you do worry about your baby.

atthewelles Mon 21-Jan-13 13:23:27

Thanks Lyingwitch. Am doing.

LaQueen Mon 21-Jan-13 13:33:55

YANBU.

I simply cannot bear women who act like they're ill and have to be treated like a precious, ickle china vase the moment they find out they're pregnant. I just have no time for it.

Obviously, some women have very genuine issues...but a lot of women take the opportunity to act like idiots and thorougly relish being pandered to, and acting all sweetly helpless - ick hmm

At 36 weeks with DD2, I was walking round with 11 month old DD1 on my hip and still carrying bags of shopping, lifting buggy into the car etc.

ineedanewmiddlename Mon 21-Jan-13 13:34:32

Oops. I'm 36 weeks and still working, which entails driving and walking in snow.

I have a friend who is very precious, and not going out much at all. Both she and her husband are older than me and DH. I wondered if this behaviour was due to being first time parents in their 40s.

LaQueen Mon 21-Jan-13 13:38:04

And as for her DH banning her from walking...well, that just makes me wince ever so slightly.

Presumably, she's a grown woman and capable of assessing risk and determining what she can/can't do hmm

Or is the fact her DH has banned her meant to demonstrate how much she is loved and cared for...which if that's the case, then fine, whatever...it's just that my DH demonstrates how much he loves and cares for me by respecting me and treating me like an adult, in my own right, and not trying to ban me from doing stuff.

But each to their own hmm

PickledInAPearTree Mon 21-Jan-13 13:39:36

Ah competitive pregnancy exertions now. Amazing!

Im sitting working at home in my dressing gown hurting exactly no one!

As long as I am not wailing and crying and asking anyone for piggyback I dont expect people to give a shit!

Thumbwitch Mon 21-Jan-13 13:44:11

Just need to retract my previous statement on Rh D and foetal red cells - just read a research article that states the D antigen has been demonstrated on foetal red cells from the 7th week of gestation, which is different from what I was taught some 20 years ago but things move on! So quite likely that RainbowFox would need anti-D if she started bleeding around the 7w mark, just in case.

forgetmenots Mon 21-Jan-13 13:45:15

Hear hear pickled. Each to their own, for some things will be fine and not for others. I don't want to take flights any more, for example, as I felt quite uncomfortable when I did early in pregnancy. I realise it's fine, and I'd never judge others for doing so. I just didn't feel comfortable and if people think that = precious, sod them!

Actually, thinking about it I would love DH to ban me from walking. He could then stagger carry me around everywhere whilst I remain on my fat arse eating biscuits smile

AllYoursBabooshka Mon 21-Jan-13 14:04:05

Indeed Pickled.

"I took part in and WON an episode of Gladiators when I was 40 weeks... With a small man attached to my back. Well 'ard me."

Bully for you! It doesn't make you better than the women who can't do such things. It's called luck, arseholes and if you had an ounce of perspective you would be able to see that.

perceptionreality Mon 21-Jan-13 14:07:42

Why do people start threads like this? Why is it any of your business and why do you care?

I am not pregnant and I don't like walking in it because underneath the snow is an ice rink and it's very easy to slip over.

PickledInAPearTree Mon 21-Jan-13 14:08:39

Babooska grin

RooneyMara Mon 21-Jan-13 14:08:46

Laqueen - lucky you! I'd have given anything to still be able to function enough for housework, in my recent pregnancy.

By 36 weeks I was in so much pain I could barely do anything.

Saying that with ds1 I was still riding a motorcycle at 7 months, including dropping it and lifting it by myself...possibly more stupid than admirable.

Ds2 I wasn't too bad either, but my third really was difficult. It's hideous not being able to move/walk/do anything.

I don't know how it feels to have tried and waited so long for a baby to be extremely protective though. I reckon people who are very 'precious' about it often have a reason for this and who am I to judge. I was probably a bit too cavalier with risks that might affect my babies while I was pregnant...not smoking or drinking etc but just being as active as I could, with basically not much help from anyone.
Sometimes you have to lift something heavy, run after another child, etc.

RooneyMara Mon 21-Jan-13 14:10:44

I'm not being competitive btw in case that sounded odd...quite the opposite.

I'm trying to explain to people that often you have no control over how much you are able to do. However much you really want to be Ok.

Eskino Mon 21-Jan-13 14:13:40

Does it matter? I don't go out in the snow cos I bloody hate the stuff.

HopAndSkip Mon 21-Jan-13 14:54:52

View it as the same as walking carrying a newborn. If the woman falls it could harm the baby. It's a risk, and so up to her if she feels it's safe with the ice or not.

atthewelles Mon 21-Jan-13 15:58:21

When I was 36 weeks pregnant I re-tiled the roof, fed all the starving in Africa and then skateboarded across 6 buses just for a bit of fun.
Some people are such precious wimps!

Chunderella Mon 21-Jan-13 16:45:55

Dead right Babushka. And Atthewelles you're a fucking wimp. I went into space at 38 weeks and performed my own c-section whilst orbiting the moon, and tap dancing. Skateboarding across buses is for losers.

I really can't bear how some people seem to think that doing it differently to them= wrong. Because they felt well enough to go out in the snow or do X activity during pregnancy, that was definitely the right thing to do, universally, and nobody else could possibly have any justification for deviating from their example. Those who are listing all the things you did during pregnancy- this is not actually about you. Lest anyone should think me biased btw, I did go out in the snow during pregnancy and don't regret that decision. Doesn't mean OP is being precious for not doing as I did, though.

SignoraStronza Mon 21-Jan-13 16:51:14

Just got back from sledging down flood banks with dc1 (well, I supervised). I didn't do any sledging, as had dc2 securely attached to my front. Last time I joined in - which will would have put me at about 5 months pregnant.

I do feel a bit wary of walking on compacted snow\icy pavements carrying the baby though, which I'd imagine is how she would feel at an early pregnancy stage. So yes, you are probably being slightly unreasonable but if she gets on your nerves anyway, can easily see how you'd want to take a pop at just about anything (I feel a bit like that about silwink ).

atthewelles Mon 21-Jan-13 17:05:25

Did I mention Chunderella that I was pregnant with triplets at the time - triplets that I delivered in the backroom of Asda before wrestling my trolley back out of some chav's hands and carrying on with the weekly shop. Whose a fucking wimp now????

My dp was the same with me but I was 38wks and fell over most days... I also had a bad fall when 12wks with dc2 in the snow, I was in pain for months after so imo yabu!

I slipped and fell on ice when pg and gave myself a really good bump on my tailbone. TG everything turned out ok but I did find it harder to balance as pg went on. If I had yaktraks or similar I would have been less wobbly I think. I don't think they existed then.

3littlefrogs Mon 21-Jan-13 17:25:35

I hate this whole business of women criticising other women for having differing attitudes to and experiences of pregnancy. Everyone is different. I had HG with all my pregnancies, and lost my first one because of it.

I was working on labour ward at the time that I lost the pregnancy, and my manager, a midwife, was so nasty to me because I had 2 weeks off sick during and after the miscarriage. She had never been pregnant herself.

I actually gave up my midwifery career after that. sad

OP does it matter in any way to you how your friend gets to work? Just smile and grit your teeth.

forgetmenots Mon 21-Jan-13 17:36:16

It's yet another way to guilt expectant mothers.

If you go skateboarding over buses/climbing Everest at 36 weeks, you're hardnosed and selfish. If you are cautious about what you're doing, you're precious and entitled.

This can be applied to everything from eating habits, choices on testing, you name it. How about we will all do our best and what is comfortable for us and stop judging other mums? (And don't get me started on judgey men...)

DrCoconut Mon 21-Jan-13 17:37:52

I was 6 months pregnant in the 2010 snow and didn't much like walking on the ice. It's a half hour hike down to work and I don't drive. I took quite a while to get pregnant with DS2, we were starting to wonder if there was a problem, so I was really concerned about risking his safety. Work still insisted I go in as it is possible to get a taxi and I did just that on some of the bad days.

LPplusOne Mon 21-Jan-13 17:54:40

I read most of this thread in the middle of the night during a horrid bout of insomnia and then had to walk 20 mins to the station this morning to catch a train. I'm 37+ weeks pregnant and it was scary. I was slipping everywhere, body off balance and dealing with pelvic pain. Luckily DP came with me to act as physical support - thank goodness, because I probably would've gone down at least once had I been on my own. Same would be true if I weren't pregnant. I see no reason to judge anyone else's decisions about how they deal with travelling through ice and snow!

Chunderella Mon 21-Jan-13 18:04:01

Asda, atthewelles? Luxury! If you were really hard, you'd have done it in Lidl. In the middle of the bread aisle, instead of swanning off to some lavishly appointed stockroom.

Nicely summed up forgetmenots.

LPplusOne Mon 21-Jan-13 18:06:52

* I forgot to add that this was the final 'necessary' communte before my due date and from now on I'm going to be lounging at home in my dressing gown! No reason to stress myself, my body or (potentially) my baby by playing Preggo Wonder Woman. DP can do all the shopping and school runs for a good long while. grin

LPplusOne Mon 21-Jan-13 18:08:09

commute (not sure what a 'communte' is!)

thebody Mon 21-Jan-13 18:16:25

With Pfb you can treat yourself like cut glass and why bloody not.

Sick of pregnant women being told its 'normal' and being expected to work till the head crowns, having 2 days off and then a fucking size 8 two weeks later.

Let her enjoy herself and mind your own business.

Of course when she gets to no 4 her dh won't be quite so protective!!!

MrsOakenshield Mon 21-Jan-13 19:01:31

I live in inner city London and the pavements were like glass today, worse this afternoon and I slipped over whilst carrying a 3-year-old and jarred myself horribly.

YABU. I had multiple miscarriages prior to my one successful pregnancy and there is no way I (or DH) would have taken any unneccessary risks, even if the reality is that they wouldn't have caused a problem. My body my baby my choice. Fuck all to do with anyone else when it isn't affecting them in any way.

Nancy66 Mon 21-Jan-13 19:04:28

I am not pregnant and a complete wuss about walking on ice after falling and breaking my wrist several years ago.

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